No Kids: 40 Buenas Razones para no tener hijos

by Corinne Maier

Este librito tiene como objetivo desmoralizar (en el sentido de hacer perder la moral) a los padres o madres en potencia, es decir, a quienes se están preguntando si vale la pena tener hijos. Naturalmente, estas personas no pueden confiar sus dudas a nadie, porque una cosa así no se cuestiona: "tener hijos está bien". Sin embargo, las razones para decidir no tenerlos son muchas, y son más razonables que las que se suelen invocar para tomar la decisión contraria. Hay por lo menos cuarenta, que pasamos a detallar a continuación. ¡Basta de discursos sensibleros sobre la felicidad del oficio de progenitor! Ante tanto entusiasmo y buenos sentimientos obligatorios, es urgente y necesario decir "¡puaj!" a nurseryland. Sé lo que me digo, porque yo misma tengo hijos... Hay cosas de las que solo puede hablar una madre de familia, siempre que tenga el valor de salir del armario. Si firmara este libro sin haber tenido descendencia, todo el mundo pensaría que soy una solterona amargada y envidiosa. Ahora, puede que me acusen de ser una madre desnaturalizada. Muy bien, lo asumo. Después de traicionar a mi empresa en Buenos días, pereza, aquí critic una imagen idealizada de la familia, que solo existe en las revistas. De paso, aprovecho para mofarme de cierta Francia natalista y autocomplaciente, cuyo único horizonte es el trabajo y la reproducción. Esto sí que es señal de una regresión preocupante: ¿qué puede haber más deprimente que un país empeñado en reproducir lo que hay, cuando lo que hay es aburrido y previsible a más no poder?(Corinne Maier, Introducción)

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting, Feminism, Self Help, Sociology, Humor, Psychology

144 pages, Paperback

First published May 31, 2007

About the author

Corinne Maier est psychanalyste à Bruxelles et à Paris et essayiste.

Ses essais s'attaquent au travail, à la famille et à la patrie. Plusieurs de ses publications se jouent de la langue de bois contemporaine qui uniformise les discours. Psychanalyste, économiste, sociologue et historienne, elle est l'auteur de livres fortement inspirés par Jacques Lacan, Roland Barthes et Michel Foucault. Elle est surnommée «l'héroïne de la contre-culture » par le New York Times1 depuis le succès mondial de l'un de ses ouvrages, Bonjour Paresse (trente traductions). Un autre de ses livres, No Kid, qui prend la forme d'un manifeste anti-nataliste, a été traduit en douze langues. Ses ouvrages font l'objet de nombreuses traductions.

Reviews

[María · Rating 3 out of 5]

Me lo dijeron por instagram y era cierto. El libro childfree y antinatalista más irreverente está aquí y es obra de Corinne Maier. Y cito:

Este librito tiene como objetivo desmoralizar a los padres o madres en potencia, es decir, a quienes se están preguntando si vale la pena tener hijos [...] Si firmara este libro sin haber tenido descendencia, todo el mundo pensaría que soy una solterona amargada y envidiosa. Ahora, puede que me acusen de ser una madre desnaturalizada. Muy bien, lo asumo.

Si hoy en día una madre recibe censura por cualquier sentimiento que exprese y que no corresponda con lo que exige la sociedad, ¿qué no habrá recibido Corinne Maier? No hay más que ver las reseñas de este libro y los adjetivos que le dedican.

No apto para personas que se ofenden con facilidad.

[Lisa X · Rating 2 out of 5]

Let me first say, I have kids and already made my mind up to have children (obviously) but I still had to read this book! I don't know why, perhaps because I wanted to prove to myself that the decision to have kids was a mistake and perhaps I could bestow my newly found wisdom on someone else to save themselves from a bleak existence for 18 years. I'm glad I really didn't find that in this book.

This book wasn't what I expected. I thought Maier was going to give 40 good reasons not to have children. I felt the entire book was a whine fest. It was more of a comical book rather than educational. If you are trying to decided wether or not to have children, I wouldn't recommend this book.

Here is my personal wisdom; With anything in life there is always, ALWAYS a positive and negative. Good and bad. Yin and yang. If you decide to have children, you most certainly will give up many, many things but will gain many things also. If you decide not to have children, you wont have to give up many, many things but you also wont gain many things either. Deciding on having children isn't like buying a puppy or a new vacation home. Having children is LIFE. It's unpredictable, hard, bleak, exhausting, obligating, and unpleasant. However there are moments that all make it worth while.......I think :-)

[Amanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

Corinne Maier sets out to give people 40 good reasons to not have kids in this short book. Maier herself is a mother, and believe she can give these arguments without needing to be told she'll change her mind once she has kids, something most women who don't want children hear (myself included). So I read this from the perspective of already having my mind made up on this matter. The "you'll change your mind when you get older" is the most common answer to "I don't want kids". Early in the book, Maier points out something she has to deal with: A mother herself, she sometimes regrets having children. Voicing this thought is unthinkable to many people. Mothers might complain about what having children brings with it, but they are not allowed to actually regret having them which is a huge difference.

Maier then gives her 40 reasons. Personally, I agreed with them since many of them are the same reasons I'd already considered before reading this. While the arguments are solid, Maier's presentation isn't. She's often condescending, close to telling those disagreeing with her stupid. She also contradicts her argumentation, which I'll illustrate with an example. For one thing, she argues that when you have child, your lifestyle will change (all true): little or no more spontaneity, no more late nights drinking with friends, always going on a schedule (work, kindergarten or school). Many of these aspects are considered in young people's lifestyles: teens and twenties. Technically, you can then say that by not having kids, one is trying to hold onto a part of their youth (or how many people spent their youth). Then, Maier goes on to look down on (grown ups) reading Young Adult, accusing them of trying to "be young". So she's arguing that by not having kids, you'll stay young, but if you read about youth, you're trying to stay young, which is a bad thing. A tad contradictory. She tries to argue that Shakespeare, Proust, and other famous author don't write Young Adult. Quite a strange argument to make given that these authors worked in a time where the Young Adult term wasn't even coined yet. Young Adult is a relatively "new" category, and to say that these big authors didn't write YA is flawed. Especially considering the publishing/book industry and its history, and what demographics that had access to reading at all.

I agree with many reasons the author states: time consuming and expensive, overpopulation in industrial countries, and more. At the same time, I disagree with the author's way of arguing; rude and condescending. This book appears to be for people who have already made their decision to not have children rather than trying to actually convince people that do want children and have thought about the pros and cons already.

[Melanie Schumacher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book when you don't want to have children and find yourself in the stress of dealing with everyone else in the world that has a viewpoint on WHY you don't want them. It gives the reality point of view of what it takes and what it takes from with having kids, and the things that you've already thought about but "socially" aren't supposed to say in public to others.

If you don't want children - this book is a must read!

[Molly · Rating 2 out of 5]

You know, I have not heard of many books embracing this theme, so I was very excited to read it. But... the writing seemed scattered and unorganized, with alot of repetition and heartless-ness. I mean, the reason for not wanting to have children is not summed up with "because people who want children are stupid," which seems to be what she is saying. It was refreshing in subject matter, but disappointing in execution.

[Teena in Toronto · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've always known I didn't want kids and so chose to be childfree (rather than childless).

Maier makes some great arguments to not have kids. For me, nothing about having kids appealed to me and I was never interested in it. I had no desire to go through a pregnancy and actually give birth. Plus I like my time being my own and wasn't willing to be responsible for someone else. Better to admit it and make the decision before having kids.

The book is translated from French so I found it a bit awkward at times. And there are lots and lots and lots of references to things that only someone in France or Europe would know (so there were footnotes).

It's a quick interesting read. Check it out from your library like I did rather than buy it.

[Lisa · Rating 1 out of 5]

Perhaps if I was French I would have loved it. But I'm not. I agree with Corinne Maier on one thing, not having kids is a great idea. The way she wrote about it was cynical, ugly and sometimes ridiculous. Some of the things she referenced were confusing. But as I am not a French citizen I cut her some slack. It was her delivery and her tone that rubbed me the wrong way. Sure the idea was fantastic but she sounded like a pissed off teenager with a bad sense of humor who wanted to get back at her undeserving, unwanted child. I feel bad for her own children, especially if they read her piece of trash. Don't read it, you will be disappointed.

[Joanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this a while ago and found it very funny and tongue-in-cheek; this is not a serious book for people trying to decide whether or not to have kids. It's a pretty short book with very cynical, sarcastic overtones, which will be a breath of fresh air for our child-worshipping, baby-bump obsessed culture.

[Amalia M · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is awesome so far! I am happy that a parent no less is admitting what I have thought about kids for so long!

[Miss Ryoko · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pre-reading thoughts: I am sure I will agree with all 40 reasons

What I loved most about this book was Corinne Maier's unapologetic approach to her forty reasons. This is a woman who has two children herself, and she is not afraid to speak up and speak out and be completely and utterly honest with the harsh reality that comes along with having children, no matter how many people would audibly gasp at her audacity to say what they're all secretly thinking.

Many of her reasons are 100% accurate as well. I found that sometimes she'd start with one train of thought and then rant and rave on something completely unrelated...but even so, both reasons (or sometimes three separate reasons given on her rants) were all very true and relatable as well. And what I really enjoyed (or rather, lamented) is that apparently the way children are being raised in France (and Europe, it sounds), is no different than in America... they are raising privileged children who are never told no and get what they want all the time to keep them "happy and healthy." I fear for this planet's future with so many people growing up in an age thinking they are deserved anything and everything they want when they want it without having to lift a finger to get it. I'm so glad I am not willing bringing children into that world.

As someone who has zero plans for having children, I appreciate someone with children being honest about the awful aspects of having and raising children. It isn't all sunshine and rainbows people, and if you think that's what it's going to be when you decided to pop out your own devil spawn, you better think again real hard... or at least read this book and rather, instead of getting offended by Maier's honest, take it to heart. I'm not saying you shouldn't have kids, I'm saying you need to be prepared for everything you will give up for those devil spawn you desire.

[Sasha · Rating 2 out of 5]

Das Buch hält nicht ganz, was es verspricht - 40 Gründe, keine Kinder zu kriegen? Die liefert die Autorin wohl kaum.
Zwar stecken eben diese Gründe immer mal implizit mit drin, meistens aber schildert sie Umstände des Elternseins, die fernab von dem sind, was einem oftmals weisgemacht werden soll. Mit manchem hat sie da auch leider sehr recht, ab und an treibt sie die Dinge aber auch sehr auf die Spitze. Dadurch wird es zwar ein wenig anschaulicher, aber muss man denn alles schwarzmalen statt mit rosa Herzchen um sich zu werfen? Beides ist nicht ideal.
Oftmals hat das alles auch gar nichts mit den Kindern an sich zu tun, sondern ist vielmehr Kritik an der Gesellschaft und wie die verschiedenen Systeme mit der ganzen Kindersache umgehen. Wobei ich hier auch mal anmerken möchte, dass niemand die Eltern zwingt, sich vollkommen bescheuert zu benehmen.

All das ist nichts Dramatisches, das Buch hat mir trotzdem Spaß gemacht, denn ich persönlich brauche keine 40 Gründe, um mich gegen Kinder zu entscheiden - da reichen auch ein paar weniger.
Was mich an dem Buch gestört hat, war die Frustration, die bisweilen aus der Autorin gesprochen hat. Sie scheint so gegen einige Dinge etwas zu haben: Kapitalismus, Hausmütterchen, überbesorgte Eltern und besonders (nach dem Kapitalismus) Jugendliche. Da ist Harry Potter mal schlichtweg einfallslos, Jugendliteratur verdient die Bezeichnung "Literatur" gar nicht etc.pp.
Mit manchen Überspitzungen schießt sie auch eindeutig über's Ziel hinaus. Wenn dann zum Beispiel mal alle nicht-akademischen Berufe runtergemacht werden, muss ich mich doch fragen, was im Leben von Corinne Maier - außer ihren Kindern - falsch gelaufen ist.

Das Buch wird wohl kaum jemanden davon abhalten, Kinder kriegen zu wollen - auch wenn es teilweise die Augen zu öffnen vermag. Wer sowieso keine Kinder will, kann mit dem Buch sogar ein wenig Spaß haben, zumindest so lange, bis die Autorin mal wieder vom Thema abkommt und dieses oder jenes runtermacht.

[Wendy · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you are looking for the answer on whether or not to have children, you won't find that here. You will find some fun humor and a few good points on why choosing a childfree lifestyle is preferable to the so-called "prison" of parenthood. I do credit her for having the guts to admit she regretted having children and was counting down the days until she could send them away.

It's a quick, funny read and has some good lines.

[Tricia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a great book! A much needed alternate viewpoint in a "baby/kid-crazed" society. She makes some great points, many of which you don't even think about. It is pretty funny at times and is refreshingly real. The only downfall of this book is that the author sometimes comes across as bitter, and some of the points run a bit long (going a bit off-topic).

[Kyleen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Extremely bitter rant from a European psychoanalyst/mother. Interesting concept (finally a book by a mother who is is brave enough to admit her regret of having children), but this was just so pretentious to me. I've read much better arguments for not having children by childfree authors, whose ideas I feel were way more grounded.

[Linda · Rating 1 out of 5]

An over the top, sarcastic and pessimistic whine fest. I picked up this book thinking she was going to bring up rational, good reasons as to why people choose not to have children. Instead, this book is a disgusting jumble of judgmental and stereotypical rants that have no depth or factual basis - certainly not recommended.

[Holly C · Rating 4 out of 5]

A nice change of pace from the society driven idealization of motherhood. It's not what the celeb magazines make it out to be and may not be the right destination for everyone.

[Ms. Koirala · Rating 1 out of 5]

A (((French woman))) with two children telling white, western women not to have children. I'm not all that interested in children but if this doesn't make you notice how her ilk brazenly operate, nothing will.

[Krista Lukas · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book on the reasons not to procreate and an excellent social commentary for both parents and those who “prefer not to have kids“ (from the book).

[A. · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am definitely not baby-crazy. I am, myself, childless, and I've never had the drive to have children, so I thought that this book might be a fun read for me. If nothing else, it would be nice to hear someone else explain the logic so that I could use it in debates. I can even take bitter and cynical; that's totally my wheelhouse! I gave this book the benefit of the Rule of 50, hoping that it would eventually redeem itself. But, no. It just ... it just picked apart everything about being a parent. Don't buy kids, because they have bad taste. WHAT?! Don't have kids because your friends will abandon you, because they can't handle kids. ::stunned silence:: Don't have kids because they're totally an extra job. It's not, like, your children and your life, they're a job you have to do forever and you never get paid money. ::head explodes:: It just struck me as saying outrageous things in the hopes of shocking someone, without actually saying anything interesting or intelligent. It's just a terribly boring and unthoughtful book.

[Valerie Sherman · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was really looking forward to reading this woman's perspective on living a child-free life, but I have two gripes: (1) many of her reasons are repetitive and (2) the explanation for her reasons is often rambling, too sweeping, or unsupported by evidence.

That said, I did enjoy the book overall mainly for her hilariously bitter turns of phrases, which I think she can only get away with because she is French. Here are a few of my favorites:

"Breastfeeding is slavery."

"Child-parent dialogue is insanity. Without relief."

"Twelve percent of American parents admit to spending the night with their baby. I highly doubt those parents’ sex lives are anything to speak of. Goodbye, caresses; hello, sadness."

"For a long time, the newborn child was seen as an eating and defecating tube..."

"A few years ago, the Brits gave us a humorous and very British masterpiece entitled 101 Uses for a Dead Cat. 101 Uses for a Living Kid requires a lot more imagination."

"Spend years in the house looking after kids? You must know this is death by boredom."

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thoughts on "No Kids..."

It was more of a pamphlet than a book.

Some of the points were badly articulated, which resulted in some head-scratching.

If you read this and you don't have kids (by choice), it was the equivalent of a right-winger listening to Rush Limbaugh every day, or a leftie who enjoys watching The Daily Show. Not exactly challenging or mind-expanding.

If you read this and you DO have kids, there are lots of possible reactions. I don't have kids, so it's not up to me to try to guess what those reactions would be.

I don't think I would recommend this pamphlet for anyone. It won't raise any new points that you've never considered before-- whether you are a non-parent, perspective parent, happy parent, or miserable parent.

[Lily Binford · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I may not want children of my own and can live perfectly happy childfree, this book is rather petty toward, judgmental of and mean to those who have chosen a life with children. I was hoping for a more thoughtful, complex read covering a topic that only recently has gotten more publicity; what I got was a bitter, snarky list of why raising kids is a stupid decision. I say to each their own - no need to criticize the choices of neighbors, friends, and inherently (and ironically) our own parents. Will have to look elsewhere for a nuanced, balanced perspective.

[Kristen · Rating 1 out of 5]

This woman is nuts...a frightening prospect for her children and clients. She appears super judgmental about everything (an unfortunate character flaw in a psychoanalyst, don't you think?) and most of her arguments are largely exaggerated overgeneralizations. I am childless by choice and I did not find her "reasons" very convincing!

[Carole · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pourquoi fait-on des enfants? La culture impose-t-elle aux femmes l'idéal de l'accomplissement par l'enfantement? Corinne Maier a le mérite de poser des questions pertinentes, et d'y répondre de façon contruite, par l'expérience et les références universitaires. Drôle et nécéssaire!

[Hayden Vanier · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book that seems to announce itself as particularly cynical, but that in fact summarize strangely well all the reasons why I don't want kids. Next time someone bothers me about kids, I'll recommend them this book.

[Colleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nothing I hadn't really thought of before, but a super quick read and entertaining nonetheless.

[Sara Schlesinger-Whittaker · Rating 2 out of 5]

Over-the-top and judgmental, but mildly comforting to hear the voice of someone who doesn't assume motherhood is a given.

[Private Account · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny but not very factual.

[Ingrid · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny and thought provoking

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was nice to read a parent manifesto I actually believe in, but sometimes Maier was WAY too militant about her anti-kids stance. Even for me.