Getting It: A Guide to Hot, Healthy Hookups and Shame-Free Sex

by Allison Moon

An empowering guide to casual sex and hooking up from sex educator and Girl Sex 101 author Allison Moon.

A comprehensive and fun-to-read guidebook for people of all sexual identities and experience levels, Getting It covers all the bases of hook-up culture from first moves and sex etiquette to navigating nonmonogamy and sexual health. In an era of endless crossed signals and heightened awareness of consent and respect, award-winning author and sex educator Allison Moon shows you how to achieve safe and enjoyable encounters by practicing clear communication and consideration of all parties involved--yourself included. Getting It helps you understand what casual sex means for you and offers an instructive and empowering deep dive into how to get it, do it well, and feel great about it every step of the way. And since we're all imperfect, Moon offers guidance for how to gracefully recover when you screw up--or get screwed over.

Refreshingly intersectional and respectful, Getting It is an honest guide to understanding the basics of hook-up culture and how to partake.

Genres: Nonfiction, Sexuality, Relationships, Queer, Self Help, Feminism, LGBT

288 pages, Paperback

Published December 29, 2020

About the author

Allison is the author of the award winning, critically-acclaimed sex-ed book,Girl Sex 101, Getting It: A Guide to Hot, Healthy Hookups and Shame-Free Sex, and the sexual memoir, Bad Dyke. As a sex educator, Allison has presented her workshops to thousands of people around the US and Canada. www.GirlSex101.com

Reviews

[Chrissy Cooper · Rating 5 out of 5]

Required reading for all people in any sort of relationship.

[Zuzka Jakúbková · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fresh update of Girl Sex 101.

Based on the "shame-free" part of title, I expected a bit closer look to the personal feelings of possible sex-positive protagonists (for example, like What You Really, Really Want) and I was a bit disappointed when that didn't happen, but I guess that's the lesson about not being tied to the expectations. ;)

I think if you read Girl Sex 101, this one might be a bit redundant. Otherwise it's a well-rounded guide to hooking up in the spirit of sex positive philosophy.

[ece · Rating 5 out of 5]

gutes Buch, kann ich euch empfehlen.
die ersten Kapitel haben sich angefühlt wie ein ungezwungenes Gespräch mit Freunden…im Nachhinein glaube ich, ist das ein guter Einstieg in das Buch gewesen, anfangs beim lesen fand ich das dann aber doch eher schwierig.

Share your stories. Encourage your friends to share theirs, too.

[Clare Wilkes · Rating 5 out of 5]

While this book is primarily written for single people, it's an excellent 'encyclopedia' of sex information that everyone can get something from. The shame-free messaging throughout the book is fantastic, and I loved the chapters at the end which explored sexual integrity and how to stand up for sex equity as part of social justice.

I really appreciated the author's insight as a queer, non-monogamous person, and the way she so thoughtfully brought in questions and learnings about other groups, that I would not have considered otherwise.

Highly recommend the audiobook as Allison Moon's anecdotes are really brought to life by hearing them spoken by her, and it adds a lot of personal character to the book.

[K H · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5 I feel so good after reading this book! I'm an asexual uninterested in sex but interested in casual kink play partners which makes most casual relationship help books not super helpful. But not only was the vast, vast majority of information in this book super easy to make applicable if you switch sex for bdsm, Moon also mentioned kink several times in passing and even had a small section on Asexuality! I wholeheartedly give this book 5 out of 5. I feel so much more prepared and empowered to embark into the world of kink play partners. I rented this from my elibrary but I think I'll buy it if I ever fancy picking it up again! (Also her writing is just perfect and not at all the syrupy-holier-than-thou tone I find in a lot of self help books)

[Brittany Vargas · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is for anyone in any type of relationship. It helps you explore the worlds of others relationships but also how to accept your own sexuality. These approaches could be applied in a marriage to help open up and express, as well as for single people making sure they have the best sexual experiences possible while dating. We shouldn’t be feeling ashamed of our sexy desires and that’s powerful!!!! Took me a while to get through but I enjoyed it overall.

[Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

i picked up this book just to dip my toes in how to navigate casual sex post-breakup, but i feel not just informed but deeply healed as well.

[Trinity Klein · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had this book as a guide earlier in life!! Very comprehensive. I will say it wasn't groundbreaking for me but I have consumed a lot of other forms of media around this topic BUT it was crucial to have everything in one place!

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

While focused on casual sex/hookups, this is really just a fantastic guide to navigating romantic and sexual relationships with other humans more generally. It teaches so many skills and concepts that I wish literally everyone was familiar with, from gently rejecting someone, to communicating your kinkiest desires, to rejoining the dating world after a heartbreak. The word that kept coming to mind while I was reading this book was "compassionate," because it really does take a refreshingly compassionate approach to just about everything and everyone within its pages.

[mel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love it. Made me feel calmer in regards to relationships and eased my head in terms of not needing to always over analyze everything. I especially loved the last chapter about “heads, hearts, and other parts” - the importance of mindfulness and acknowledging feelings and that they are okay and all that… i needed that <3

[Em H · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely a great intro to sex positive thought and I had a great time reading it. I particularly enjoyed the real life examples and self study prompts. I just wish there were more references to the work that inspired the content and many of the themes that the author explored.

[Chey · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author had a quirky but unobtrusive voice, and I found this to be fairly comprehensive and inclusive. I think the author is a bit more accepting of some harmful behaviors than I am but not extremely so.

This probably has the most utility for early college age people.

[Jane]

Easy read with some sensible advice. I wish I'd read this (and believed it) when I was a young single woman.

[Skylis · Rating 5 out of 5]

i loved this! the work may be focused on hookups (and Moon does an incredible job on that topic, including noting when something is outside the scope of her book and offers resources for more info), but i would also consider it essential reading for anyone in a relationship or interested in dating. the sections on communication are invaluable.

sad to report some major information in the abortion section is expired now (this was published in 2020), but the rest is highly relevant and accurate.

i am especially grateful for how thoughtfully and inclusively Moon writes on each topic. and her voice is so soothing in the audiobook. she should definitely keep narrating her own work!

[Maggie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A super informative, thoughtful and inclusive guide to navigating hookup culture in our modern world.

Perfect for a young person who is coming into their sexuality or a grown person like me that just wants to feel less shame to express and explore safely.

I wish I had this book about 10-15 years ago!

[&#x1f336; peppersocks &#x1f9e6; · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reflections and lessons learned:
“Using other people for healing is a tricky business…”

As a person that used to hide the Heat magazine ‘torso of the week’ page whilst reading on public transport (50% phwoar, 50% jealous of how did they get time to hone those stomach muscles?!?) this title was brutally giggly, and made me sing the awful ‘getting jiggy with it’ but as soon as I started listening knew that this sounded good - it’s all about communication and following base instincts that can vary widely for individuals, but that no one should necessarily feel ashamed of. Following intuition… shame… skin hunger…intimacy…disinhibition…self love… a book of taboos dealt with in a wonderfully relaxed but considered manner

“Develop curiosity and then feed that curiosity… it will serve you for a lifetime”

[Amber · Rating 4 out of 5]

Does a good job of not just being about hookups honestly

[Donckers Caroline · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read 1/3 of the book and stopped reading. In my opinion this book is too woke. I really support inclusivity and being yourself without feeling ashamed or being shamed but how it is written, for me it was too much and not that educational

[Kraken Walrus · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing information. Not everything may be applicable to you, but it's great information anyways if you fine yourself with a partner where it is. Very open and non judgmental, absolute recommend to anyone.

[Julia Wagner · Rating 5 out of 5]

the affirmative sex-ed we all deserve(d)

[Liv Tsang · Rating 5 out of 5]

Comprehensive book on navigating healthy and communicative sexual relationships. Moon feels like a compassionate, funny friend who draws from their own experience to help the reader go forth and play. Been meaning to read it for a minute and the cover art propelled it to the top of my library book stack (shout-out to my local library for having this)

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book in small pieces, but read all of it in order. Allison Moon covers all the topics you would want covered if you‘re considering casual dating, she writes very inclusively and offers helpful questions for reflection. If you have prior knowledge, you can easily skip parts.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

must-read for pretty much everyone, but especially purity-culture kids.
such an encouraging open voice, covers a lot and gets to the psychology and self efficacy of what matters.

[Santoria Rush · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's been a very long time since i read any sex education but this book lead me to realize that just because you think you know doesn't mean you know anything. There is so much helpful information in this book and i really enjoyed how it touched on the social, emotional, mental as well as physical aspect of sex. Also i could finally see the benefit of using more inclusive language. I was very pleased with this read.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so much more than I was expecting from a book about "hooking up". I might re-read this again this year. I probably should.

[JJ Estacio · Rating 5 out of 5]

definitely the sexiest book ive ever read - understanding various forms of casual relationships, exploring one's sexuality and preferences, navigating nuances of communication and consent, distinguishing between hopes and expectations, and how to sexing

this book teaches how to be a kinder, sexier human to yourself and others

[Meek · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty interesting some parts, a little preachy/PSA-like in other parts. I did like how woke the author was though!

[Matt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enlightening.

Ok, I didn’t love it, but it’s hard to justify anything less than four stars (it’s more in the three-star range, if we’re speaking subjectively). It’s an urgent yet compassionate breakdown of sexuality across all spectrums.

Sure, there were many sections that weren’t for me or expounded upon topics that I don’t currently relate to, but either way, I gleaned a lot of valuable information from this book.

It was especially refreshing to explore this topic from a sexually “open” perspective (as opposed to a confined, hyper-masculine perspective, which sums up my past experiences with dating/sex books).

[Lydia Victor · Rating 5 out of 5]

That was so good ! Recommand it to everyone !

[Shelby Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book to anyone who has sex: whether you're queer, straight, cis, trans, mono, poly, disabled, or a survivor of assault, this book is full of insight and wonderful reminders for folks looking to hook up, meet a FWB, or start a new sexual relationship of any kind. Moon's style is easily digestible and fun, and she gets to the point without beating around the bush, offering her own anecdotes to build trust and interest with her readers.