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Coming Up from the Down Low: The Journey to Acceptance, Healing, and Honest Love
Shining a Light on the Down Low.
J. L. King lived on the down low for years before he wrote On the Down Low , the controversial bestseller that revealed the secret subculture of men leading straight lives while secretly sleeping with other men. In Coming Up from the Down Low , King takes readers to the next level, answering the most common questions asked by the people he’s met while traveling the country and reporting on this lifestyle. He provides more in-depth information about the men who live this way, dispels the most common myths, and addresses the most frequently asked question of What are the signs? But more than that, King tells of his own transformation over the last year, as he’s moved into a more honest evaluation of his own life and the lives of other men like him.
Filled with fascinating stories from men who have lived on the down low and the women who have struggled through it with them, Coming Up from the Down Low is a vital call for greater love, tolerance, and forgiveness in our individual lives and within our communities.
J. L. King lived on the down low for years before he wrote On the Down Low , the controversial bestseller that revealed the secret subculture of men leading straight lives while secretly sleeping with other men. In Coming Up from the Down Low , King takes readers to the next level, answering the most common questions asked by the people he’s met while traveling the country and reporting on this lifestyle. He provides more in-depth information about the men who live this way, dispels the most common myths, and addresses the most frequently asked question of What are the signs? But more than that, King tells of his own transformation over the last year, as he’s moved into a more honest evaluation of his own life and the lives of other men like him.
Filled with fascinating stories from men who have lived on the down low and the women who have struggled through it with them, Coming Up from the Down Low is a vital call for greater love, tolerance, and forgiveness in our individual lives and within our communities.
192 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2005
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
August 26, 2016
Dear God. Just when you thought it was safe to dust the bookshelves…
What in the world is this doing on the shelf? And why does this keep happening to me? It must have been lurking here among the other books for years and years, which means it’s been packed and moved more than a few times. I guess some editor sent a copy. Most likely I’d been complaining (not that I ever complain) about how magazines never assign me anything but gay vampire novels. That’ll teach me to keep my mouth shut.
So what’s this thing about anyway? Let me just flip through… hmm...
Apparently, there are “straight” men out there who have sex with other men. Seriously? I mean, who knew?
Dear God. (Did I say that already?) Perhaps this seemed like more of a revelation ten years ago. At least, Oprah’s audience seemed to think so, judging from the chapter titles, and a sizable number of women out there in television-land subsequently came forward seeking advice. So many questions. How can you tell if your boyfriend has a boyfriend? What are the signs? According to the author, the cards and letters just poured in.
It must have felt like only a few weeks went by between King’s first appearance on Oprah to tout “On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of Straight Black Men Who Sleep with Men” and the release of this companion volume. Oh, wait. Check the dates. It was only a few weeks. Fast work. Anyway, the point is that the "DL" had already entered the pop lexicon, and if this sequel got cranked out in record time, numerous related titles had already logged in on this hot topic. And the list has only grown since. I may never dare to dust again.
I’m glad I passed on the review though. It’s hard to know what to say here, and applying normal standards almost seems churlish. King chats on about his talk show appearances and his photo spreads in JET and ESSENCE. Then there’s page after page of confessional memoir, replete with moral lessons so preachy that even the sexual content (recounted in an “and then we sexed each other down” style) boasts a sort of weird twelve-step quality. I mean, the acknowledgements section lists Jesus Christ… after Oprah. 'Nuff said.
Sometimes even skimming is hard work.
What in the world is this doing on the shelf? And why does this keep happening to me? It must have been lurking here among the other books for years and years, which means it’s been packed and moved more than a few times. I guess some editor sent a copy. Most likely I’d been complaining (not that I ever complain) about how magazines never assign me anything but gay vampire novels. That’ll teach me to keep my mouth shut.
So what’s this thing about anyway? Let me just flip through… hmm...
Apparently, there are “straight” men out there who have sex with other men. Seriously? I mean, who knew?
Dear God. (Did I say that already?) Perhaps this seemed like more of a revelation ten years ago. At least, Oprah’s audience seemed to think so, judging from the chapter titles, and a sizable number of women out there in television-land subsequently came forward seeking advice. So many questions. How can you tell if your boyfriend has a boyfriend? What are the signs? According to the author, the cards and letters just poured in.
It must have felt like only a few weeks went by between King’s first appearance on Oprah to tout “On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of Straight Black Men Who Sleep with Men” and the release of this companion volume. Oh, wait. Check the dates. It was only a few weeks. Fast work. Anyway, the point is that the "DL" had already entered the pop lexicon, and if this sequel got cranked out in record time, numerous related titles had already logged in on this hot topic. And the list has only grown since. I may never dare to dust again.
I’m glad I passed on the review though. It’s hard to know what to say here, and applying normal standards almost seems churlish. King chats on about his talk show appearances and his photo spreads in JET and ESSENCE. Then there’s page after page of confessional memoir, replete with moral lessons so preachy that even the sexual content (recounted in an “and then we sexed each other down” style) boasts a sort of weird twelve-step quality. I mean, the acknowledgements section lists Jesus Christ… after Oprah. 'Nuff said.
Sometimes even skimming is hard work.
October 29, 2019
If this guy can get a book published then surely I can, too. In all fairness, I think he (and his coauthor?) did a good job of explaining some of the cultural pressures that contribute to homophobia and "down low" behavior in the black community. Some of the book felt like fluff though, and I'm not sure why but I felt somewhat suspicious about the stories in the book. Also, one weird thing: in the last two chapters or so, he kept using the incorrect form of woman/women OVER AND OVER again. There were quite a few other typos as well (seriously, did the editor fall asleep halfway through the book?) but the woman/women error seriously happened like 30 times. What the heck was up with that? Also, do some black people really refer to each other as "brother" and "sister" as much as this guy does? It just started to seem kind of silly after a while.
January 17, 2026
It started off very educational but then it was nothing more than fluff and I refuse to believe 90% of these emails and stories from black women who spouses / lovers came out and told them they were sleeping with me and their response was to just pray and stand beside their mates. I refuse to believe that black women are so desperate for “love” that they will stay with a man that admitted to them they are attracted to the same sex
July 5, 2023
Thank you for sharing your book with members of the none gay community.
April 16, 2010
This back is a recap of what happened after "On the Down Low", his first book about his sexual relations with men. He speaks openly about this experience, publicity, his feelings after Oprah's show, and even being on the cover of Jet magazine--then Tom Joyner Morning Show clowned him after seeing the photo. He again clarifies Black America views on "gays", labeling in the church, and now he also admits to being bi-sexual not "straight man sleeping with men" in which did not sound right to most of us anyways.
This time he shares other people's letters, emails, and stories with his insight on the question or comments addressed.
This time he shares other people's letters, emails, and stories with his insight on the question or comments addressed.
November 16, 2013
This book for me is a key word for what is sickly happening to this world, The honesty is always the prime and precious word that is long way we want to have and act on it. This honesty on this so telling book shown how being able to honest with our ownselves or our own identities could and would minimize the sickness in life on this judgemental world.
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October 10, 2015this book was interesting to say to least. it is just sad that he couldn't just come out and admit he was bisexual. that downlow word pisses me off to no end. just say bisexual. it is just plain dumb to say at least.
October 1, 2007
This one teaches you that people need to forgive for themselves not for the poeple that wronged them.
June 1, 2012
The writing style of this book was unappealing. He writes like he talks way too much. It read like a diary. I thought it would've dug deeper in the subject than it did.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews