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Allison
Allison can break your bones with her mind, and she can't control her power. Now forty-five years old, she's spent her life trying to stay away from other people. But a random encounter with a couple on the street leaves her believing that she may have done something horrible. Something unforgivable. Killer-for-hire Daxton and his girlfriend Maggie know the truth. Instead of easing Allison's anguish, they come up with a cruel plan to take advantage of it. But with Allison's abilities exposed, there may be a grisly body count very soon... From its shocking opening to its sinister conclusion, ALLISON is Jeff Strand at his over-the-top best!
268 pages, Paperback
First published March 15, 2020
197 people are currently reading
766 people want to read
About the author
Jeff Strand
230 books2,242 followersBram Stoker Award-winning author of a bunch of demented books, including PRESSURE, DWELLER, CLOWNS VS. SPIDERS, AUTUMN BLEEDS INTO WINTER, MY PRETTIES, the official novelization of ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES, and lots of others!
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 114 reviews
March 24, 2020
"You get what you came for
This time you've gone too far
I think you should know what you've done
You got what you deserve"
WHAT YOU DESERVE by No Resolve*
I'm a fan of this author. Have been since the first book I've read by him. I've reached the point where I get his new book as soon as it comes out without reading the blurb, just dive in blind and allow him to entertain me.
For the sake of this review, I want to give you just a teensy-weensy glimpse into my mind.
Whenever I read a book, I cast famous (or, at least, known) actors as the characters, and allow the movie to play in my head. The actress I thought of as Allison, is Melanie Lynskey.
Who-the-fuck-is-that?
Okay, I had to look up her real name just now. She is the actress who played Rose in the TV series TWO AND A HALF MEN. I needed someone who could look really innocent while going psycho bitch in a heartbeat.
Cody will be played by Elijah Wood (some people will pick up the connection there), who is her friend...type of thing.
Daxton will be Andy Samberg and Maggie will be a younger Maya Rudolph (Just don't ask,okay).
And the mob boss can be Gary Oldman (as he appeared in Leon: The Professional), because - face it - when is he NOT the perfect bad guy?
There you have your cast, and here comes the story:
Allison is telekinetic and she can't control this power. Strand actually brings up a good point in this story:
If you have the ability to break people's bones with your mind but can't control it, how do you practice.
(Yes, he does give an answer - you'll love it!)
Daxton is a low-life conman, who is in the dog box with his boss. He can't let a good scheme go, though, so he decides to try his luck with Allison after she saves his pregnant girlfriend from a potentially serious fall.
However, he is in way over his head, and things will get real bloody real soon, because Allison is not as helpless as she seems.
And poor Cody just tried to be nice, you know.
That, in a nutshell, my friends, is all you need to know about this story. While it is a little lighter on the humor than usual, there are enough snorts to keep you satisfied. And, for some, it might be a really, really scary story. Not in the way CARRIE was scary, more like...
Shhh, I just looked over my shoulder and it seems like I'm alone at the moment. I'm going to share something with you, but I have to whisper, so pay attention.
My wife, the really hot woman in my profile pic, is the love of my life, my better half, she completes me, she makes me want to be a better man, she is my first, my last, my everything...and all the other cliche's you can think of. I love her like no other.
However, there was that one time, when she was pregnant. The hormone-fairy didn't give her a love tap with her wand, she tried to bash her skull in with a baseball bat. So, when I came out of the bathroom one day, she was standing there, glaring at me. I knew I was in trouble - it wasn't just the hands on the hips or the tapping foot, or even the look in her eyes that was so cold it burned my skin - when I noticed the hair on her head rising slowly, as if she had built up enough static electricity to run the washing machine for a few hours.
Well, I paused and stared back, trying to look brave while being glad I was in the bathroom before this incident. When she started speaking, her voice started on a pitch that could best be described as nails on a chalkboard. It went up with every word, or at least I think it did, because by the third word it was so high that it wasn't audible to the human ear, but the dogs went mad outside.
"What the hell did you do?!"
I've never been able to read lips, but that day I could have been an expert.
Now, ladies, just to clarify for the few who may not actually know this:
Men, in general, do stupid shit all the time. We don't do it to upset our wives, it just happens because our minds could be elsewhere at that exact moment. And here is the important part - if we even notice, we tend to forget about it almost immediately. That question, in particular, is not something you should expect an answer to. If we stand there with our mouths hanging open and unable to form a coherent sentence, it is because WE REALLY DON'T FUCKING KNOW!
Anyway, my wife had asked me the question of doom, and I honestly had no idea what I'd done, and the dogs were barking, and things seemed to be going out of control, when her head turned around - EXORCIST style - and while facing backwards she screamed at the dogs in a voice that was a cross between Darth Vader and Satan himself.
"SHUT! UP!"
Well, my dogs have never watched STAR WARS, nor did they seem very religious, but even they had the self-preservation to get the fuck away from the demon.
Then she completed that turn - and I swear, her body never moved - and stared me down.
Now, to give you some perspective - this is why this story was frightening:
If my wife had the ability to break my bones with her mind on that particular occasion, I would have looked like a sky diver whose parachute didn't open!
And even though she didn't have that power, I will never, ever, put the hemorrhoid cream next to the toothpaste again.
Mr. Strand - that epilogue is probably the best way you've ended a story - ever! It was so wrong, yet absolutely perfect.
Well done, sir!
*If you do look up the song I started this review with, choose the lyric video on YouTube. The music video has absolutely fuck-all to do with this story, and the band is fronted by a very angry young man who was obviously scorned...
I did love the song, though. It almost gave me that 80's feel for movie songs like ST. ELMO'S FIRE by John Parr, or INVINCIBLE by Pat Benatar, or maybe even a little Kenny Loggins...
This time you've gone too far
I think you should know what you've done
You got what you deserve"
WHAT YOU DESERVE by No Resolve*
I'm a fan of this author. Have been since the first book I've read by him. I've reached the point where I get his new book as soon as it comes out without reading the blurb, just dive in blind and allow him to entertain me.
For the sake of this review, I want to give you just a teensy-weensy glimpse into my mind.
Whenever I read a book, I cast famous (or, at least, known) actors as the characters, and allow the movie to play in my head. The actress I thought of as Allison, is Melanie Lynskey.
Who-the-fuck-is-that?
Okay, I had to look up her real name just now. She is the actress who played Rose in the TV series TWO AND A HALF MEN. I needed someone who could look really innocent while going psycho bitch in a heartbeat.
Cody will be played by Elijah Wood (some people will pick up the connection there), who is her friend...type of thing.
Daxton will be Andy Samberg and Maggie will be a younger Maya Rudolph (Just don't ask,okay).
And the mob boss can be Gary Oldman (as he appeared in Leon: The Professional), because - face it - when is he NOT the perfect bad guy?
There you have your cast, and here comes the story:
Allison is telekinetic and she can't control this power. Strand actually brings up a good point in this story:
If you have the ability to break people's bones with your mind but can't control it, how do you practice.
(Yes, he does give an answer - you'll love it!)
Daxton is a low-life conman, who is in the dog box with his boss. He can't let a good scheme go, though, so he decides to try his luck with Allison after she saves his pregnant girlfriend from a potentially serious fall.
However, he is in way over his head, and things will get real bloody real soon, because Allison is not as helpless as she seems.
And poor Cody just tried to be nice, you know.
That, in a nutshell, my friends, is all you need to know about this story. While it is a little lighter on the humor than usual, there are enough snorts to keep you satisfied. And, for some, it might be a really, really scary story. Not in the way CARRIE was scary, more like...
Shhh, I just looked over my shoulder and it seems like I'm alone at the moment. I'm going to share something with you, but I have to whisper, so pay attention.
My wife, the really hot woman in my profile pic, is the love of my life, my better half, she completes me, she makes me want to be a better man, she is my first, my last, my everything...and all the other cliche's you can think of. I love her like no other.
However, there was that one time, when she was pregnant. The hormone-fairy didn't give her a love tap with her wand, she tried to bash her skull in with a baseball bat. So, when I came out of the bathroom one day, she was standing there, glaring at me. I knew I was in trouble - it wasn't just the hands on the hips or the tapping foot, or even the look in her eyes that was so cold it burned my skin - when I noticed the hair on her head rising slowly, as if she had built up enough static electricity to run the washing machine for a few hours.
Well, I paused and stared back, trying to look brave while being glad I was in the bathroom before this incident. When she started speaking, her voice started on a pitch that could best be described as nails on a chalkboard. It went up with every word, or at least I think it did, because by the third word it was so high that it wasn't audible to the human ear, but the dogs went mad outside.
"What the hell did you do?!"
I've never been able to read lips, but that day I could have been an expert.
Now, ladies, just to clarify for the few who may not actually know this:
Men, in general, do stupid shit all the time. We don't do it to upset our wives, it just happens because our minds could be elsewhere at that exact moment. And here is the important part - if we even notice, we tend to forget about it almost immediately. That question, in particular, is not something you should expect an answer to. If we stand there with our mouths hanging open and unable to form a coherent sentence, it is because WE REALLY DON'T FUCKING KNOW!
Anyway, my wife had asked me the question of doom, and I honestly had no idea what I'd done, and the dogs were barking, and things seemed to be going out of control, when her head turned around - EXORCIST style - and while facing backwards she screamed at the dogs in a voice that was a cross between Darth Vader and Satan himself.
"SHUT! UP!"
Well, my dogs have never watched STAR WARS, nor did they seem very religious, but even they had the self-preservation to get the fuck away from the demon.
Then she completed that turn - and I swear, her body never moved - and stared me down.
Now, to give you some perspective - this is why this story was frightening:
If my wife had the ability to break my bones with her mind on that particular occasion, I would have looked like a sky diver whose parachute didn't open!
And even though she didn't have that power, I will never, ever, put the hemorrhoid cream next to the toothpaste again.
Mr. Strand - that epilogue is probably the best way you've ended a story - ever! It was so wrong, yet absolutely perfect.
Well done, sir!
*If you do look up the song I started this review with, choose the lyric video on YouTube. The music video has absolutely fuck-all to do with this story, and the band is fronted by a very angry young man who was obviously scorned...
I did love the song, though. It almost gave me that 80's feel for movie songs like ST. ELMO'S FIRE by John Parr, or INVINCIBLE by Pat Benatar, or maybe even a little Kenny Loggins...
September 13, 2021
I'm going to start this review by talking about the conclusion of the novel. No worries! No spoilers coming your way. But since I just had the pleasure of reading the most clever, diabolical, deviant, perfect, BEST epilogue in the history of all epilogues...I can't NOT talk about it!
Fellow readers, you are going to LOVE the way this book ends. Jeff Strand, you're just too good.
Here's the thing, Allison is sort of like Stephen King's Carrie, but on steroids. Allison is also way funnier...because Jeff Strand. Even without the epilogue, this was still a 5-star read. It's funny, snappy, and charming, with a big heap of the macabre...like all of Strand's novels.
Allison has a very sad life and lives a very lonely existence, but she's also one of Jeff's most lovable characters. This is a woman who rescues elderly animals, prevents pregnant ladies from falling down stairs, and puts together pug puzzles with a guy she just me. But Allison can be a badass when she wants to be, and I dug that side of her just as much.
Oh, and hey...did I mention that legendary epilogue?
Available on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited!
Fellow readers, you are going to LOVE the way this book ends. Jeff Strand, you're just too good.
Here's the thing, Allison is sort of like Stephen King's Carrie, but on steroids. Allison is also way funnier...because Jeff Strand. Even without the epilogue, this was still a 5-star read. It's funny, snappy, and charming, with a big heap of the macabre...like all of Strand's novels.
Allison has a very sad life and lives a very lonely existence, but she's also one of Jeff's most lovable characters. This is a woman who rescues elderly animals, prevents pregnant ladies from falling down stairs, and puts together pug puzzles with a guy she just me. But Allison can be a badass when she wants to be, and I dug that side of her just as much.
Oh, and hey...did I mention that legendary epilogue?
Available on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited!
March 30, 2020
OK I just invented a new genre for myself - comic horror - feel free to adopt it for yourself. That’s not comic as in pictures with dialogue bubbles, no that’s comic as in LMFAO. And since this is the first book, for me, in this genre, and since I enjoyed it so immensely. It gets five freaking stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.
First up, that cover is awesome. The Allison character is wonderful. How could you not like a 45 year old woman who can break your bones with her mind? Mind you she can’t control this phenomenon. But she’s so nice. Well she really is nice. So nice she saves a pregnant woman from probable injury from a fall, and insists the woman call her to reassure her the baby is still alright. And she rescues elderly cats and dogs from shelters. Awwh 😍. This nice deed gets her into big trouble when the woman’s gangster boyfriend tells her the baby died and tries to swindle money out of her.
Well things get out of control and before long Allison has a thing going with a younger geek and the mob is after her. The mob doesn’t know what they have unleashed. There is blood and gore. But I cracked up when she said “now I get to practice”. The dialogue really is snappy and funny and I read the whole thing in one night because I couldn’t put it down.
First up, that cover is awesome. The Allison character is wonderful. How could you not like a 45 year old woman who can break your bones with her mind? Mind you she can’t control this phenomenon. But she’s so nice. Well she really is nice. So nice she saves a pregnant woman from probable injury from a fall, and insists the woman call her to reassure her the baby is still alright. And she rescues elderly cats and dogs from shelters. Awwh 😍. This nice deed gets her into big trouble when the woman’s gangster boyfriend tells her the baby died and tries to swindle money out of her.
Well things get out of control and before long Allison has a thing going with a younger geek and the mob is after her. The mob doesn’t know what they have unleashed. There is blood and gore. But I cracked up when she said “now I get to practice”. The dialogue really is snappy and funny and I read the whole thing in one night because I couldn’t put it down.
March 5, 2021
Imagine living a life where any time you experience any intense emotions - anger, frustration, joy, elation etc. everyone around you suffers broken bones and injuries that result in a horrible death 9/10 times.
Allison has been dealing with this problem for the past 45 years and it has led her to live a life of isolation, until she meets a member of a crime organization who hopes to use her powers for evil. Now it is up to Allison to fend off the endless wave of goons that are being sent her way and figure out a way to take this organization down for good so she can finally have some peace and quiet.
After decades of running from her abilities it is now time for Allison to embrace her curse before it becomes someone else's gift.
Great, fun book. Im giving it 4 out of 5 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐
For in-depth video reviews, please subscribe to my YouTube channel:
https://youtube.com/c/UptownHorrorRev...
Allison has been dealing with this problem for the past 45 years and it has led her to live a life of isolation, until she meets a member of a crime organization who hopes to use her powers for evil. Now it is up to Allison to fend off the endless wave of goons that are being sent her way and figure out a way to take this organization down for good so she can finally have some peace and quiet.
After decades of running from her abilities it is now time for Allison to embrace her curse before it becomes someone else's gift.
Great, fun book. Im giving it 4 out of 5 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐
For in-depth video reviews, please subscribe to my YouTube channel:
https://youtube.com/c/UptownHorrorRev...
March 19, 2020
After a brief and intense introduction to our animal loving, telekinetic and lonesome protagonist Allison, you will undoubtedly root for her throughout the whole adventure, no matter what she is up to. Daxton and his fellow criminals are downright dickbags, void of any morals, but I caught myself feeling sorry for them later on. To put it briefly, most of the appearing characters are each charming in their own way and the occuring dialogues are oftentimes truly hilarious.
In these 200+ pages you will wade through tons of gore (mostly presented through broken bones) with the tongue-in-cheek style of the author delivering enough humorous breaks from all the bone shattering. The subplots build the foundation on which the actual plot rests upon. In my humble opinion, Mr. Strand perfectly paced the story showcasing Allison's growth as a person throughout the whole ordeal while she is dealing with a bunch of criminals, keeping an old cat save and finding true love along the way.
Conclusion:
It's written by Jeff Strand, so I had to check it out immediatly and I was not disappointed at all. The author once again manages to combine a bone and nerve wrecking adventure with enough cheekiness to make you giggle while people get their lives taken. Allison is definitely a worthy addition to his ever expanding catalogue and I gladly recommend it to every fan of his works and everyone else who loves hilariously over-the-top horror stories.
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In these 200+ pages you will wade through tons of gore (mostly presented through broken bones) with the tongue-in-cheek style of the author delivering enough humorous breaks from all the bone shattering. The subplots build the foundation on which the actual plot rests upon. In my humble opinion, Mr. Strand perfectly paced the story showcasing Allison's growth as a person throughout the whole ordeal while she is dealing with a bunch of criminals, keeping an old cat save and finding true love along the way.
Conclusion:
It's written by Jeff Strand, so I had to check it out immediatly and I was not disappointed at all. The author once again manages to combine a bone and nerve wrecking adventure with enough cheekiness to make you giggle while people get their lives taken. Allison is definitely a worthy addition to his ever expanding catalogue and I gladly recommend it to every fan of his works and everyone else who loves hilariously over-the-top horror stories.
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June 4, 2022
All I will say at this time is that this was awesome! Review coming soon to my YouTube channel "Books of Blood".
April 30, 2020
I love Jeff Strand’s work. It’s gotten to the point that I don’t even bother to read the synopsis of his books. I just go into them blind because he never disappoints. However, in the case of Allison, the description came across my timeline on Twitter and even though I jump on new books by Strand anyway, I made it a point to get my filthy hands on this one. I knew I was going to love it after the first chapter. Strand is ruthless.
You can read Steve's full review at Horror DNA by clicking here.
You can read Steve's full review at Horror DNA by clicking here.
September 9, 2020
I had so much fun reading this! One hilarious bloodbath of a novel!
February 11, 2022
I may be biased but...
Allison is AWESOME!
Truly a thrill ride - so funny, clever and of course gory! In all the bone shattering best ways!
Thank you for this gem (and for that epilogue!)!!
Allison is AWESOME!
Truly a thrill ride - so funny, clever and of course gory! In all the bone shattering best ways!
Thank you for this gem (and for that epilogue!)!!
March 22, 2020
Jeff Strand has long been known for the snappy dialogue he writes, but in his new novel ALLISON, “snappy” takes on a whole new meaning. Allison is cursed with telekinesis: she can snap peoples’ bones with her mind, and she doesn’t know how to control it. When she does a spontaneous good deed by saving a pregnant woman from a fall, her ability is discovered by a hit man who devises a scheme to exploit her. Things don’t go as he planned, and Allison is forced to defend herself. Things get gory, with crunching bones and exploding heads, but the characters are so relatable that I found myself empathizing with them, even the bad guys on occasion. Jeff Strand, as usual, writes dialogue that sounds realistic even when his characters are in totally unreal situations. Highly recommended!
April 1, 2020
Great fun from Jeff Strand.
I blazed through this book.
It's just shy of five stars from me but I'm rounding it up nevertheless.
You can't really go wrong with his books.
I blazed through this book.
It's just shy of five stars from me but I'm rounding it up nevertheless.
You can't really go wrong with his books.
July 14, 2021
First of all, this is the second horror novel I've read in the past few months with a 45-year-old female protagonist! (The last one was We Sold Our Souls by Grady Hendrix.)
I'm used to reading horror tales with kids/teens and pretty women as the protagonists. It's refreshing to be able to read a good horror tale about a protagonist my own age!
This book is about a 45-year-old woman named Allison who has telekinetic powers. She's avoided people her whole life because she doesn't know how to control her powers. When she runs into some bad guys who figure they can take advantage of her, Allison is drawn out into the open for the first time. It's a bloodbath and I loved it.
My first thought with this book was that it was going to be a silly read because the way the bad guys are written seemed over the top. It didn't take me long to realize that the author has been quite clever with how he has written his characters. The full spotlight is on Allison, the dialogue is funny/campy and there's just enough horror/squeamish stuff to make it GOOD. I loved that Allison was dishing it right back out with her own snappy comebacks to these bad dudes as she was wreaking mayhem with her abilities.
The author's bio says he's the author of 'a bunch of demented novels' and a 'Four-time Bram Stoker Award finalist. Four-time Bram Stoker Award loser. Ten-time Bram Stoker Award Master of Ceremonies.' So now I know I've stumbled across an author that isn't going to give me what I expect with this genre, which is A+ in my books.
I had a closer look at his published titles today and I've added more to my TBR. If you like horror during the summer and you want sappy and bloody entertainment, this is a good choice. *Not your typical horror book.
I'm used to reading horror tales with kids/teens and pretty women as the protagonists. It's refreshing to be able to read a good horror tale about a protagonist my own age!
This book is about a 45-year-old woman named Allison who has telekinetic powers. She's avoided people her whole life because she doesn't know how to control her powers. When she runs into some bad guys who figure they can take advantage of her, Allison is drawn out into the open for the first time. It's a bloodbath and I loved it.
My first thought with this book was that it was going to be a silly read because the way the bad guys are written seemed over the top. It didn't take me long to realize that the author has been quite clever with how he has written his characters. The full spotlight is on Allison, the dialogue is funny/campy and there's just enough horror/squeamish stuff to make it GOOD. I loved that Allison was dishing it right back out with her own snappy comebacks to these bad dudes as she was wreaking mayhem with her abilities.
The author's bio says he's the author of 'a bunch of demented novels' and a 'Four-time Bram Stoker Award finalist. Four-time Bram Stoker Award loser. Ten-time Bram Stoker Award Master of Ceremonies.' So now I know I've stumbled across an author that isn't going to give me what I expect with this genre, which is A+ in my books.
I had a closer look at his published titles today and I've added more to my TBR. If you like horror during the summer and you want sappy and bloody entertainment, this is a good choice. *Not your typical horror book.
June 6, 2020
Jeff Strand and I have something of a weird relationship. He's overwhelmingly popular on this website but I'm really not seeing what the fuss is about. I tried Bring Her Back as my first foray into his work and came away somewhat underwhelmed. Maybe I bought into the hype too much, I don't know? Overall it was an engaging, albeit somewhat lacking piece that left me feeling like I'd come milliseconds away from an orgasm, only to be cock-blocked at the point of no return. A lot of buildup and no real payoff.
This time was even worse.
I can't feel my legs!
For most people, I reckon the setup for Allison probably comes across a lot like Carrie. Socially inept woman, psychic powers and a lot of violence and blood, but for me, I likened Allison more to Clive Barker's Jaqueline Ess -psychic woman who can manipulate bodies - except without the whole self-loathing and the whole matter of becoming London's greatest sex worker.
Allison, Jacqueline Ess you ain't.
Like Bring her Back, the plot of Allison is pretty much a snowball plot. Something bad happens, shit gets worse, shit gets fucked, shit gets double fucked and then shit splatters against the wall. Except here, the whole plot just feels so much more drawn out. I never really got a sense of tension ratcheting up and no real sense of atmosphere or dread. Part of this I chalk up to the writing. Strand's writing is workman-like with little flounce or poetry, but its also extremely bland. He spends way too much time telling and not showing what's going on, spending a lot of pages just explaining character's thoughts and motivations. It's hard for me to care about what's going on when so much of the plot is spent just sitting around, waiting for Strand to explain what's going through someone's head.
The characters by and large are pretty underwhelming to be honest. Allison has the most presence by sheer virtue of being the main character and while she's decently written, a lot of what goes on just feels so standard. She's a socially inept middle-age woman whose psychic powers keep her on the fringes of society, her character development comes in the form of coming to terms with her psychic powers and in turn caring about Cody. Speaking of Cody, he's kind of just there. He talks about having Night Terrors early on in the story but it kind of goes nowhere and his quirky dialogue helps to separate him from the rest of the cast, but that's kind of it. Daxton is an cowardly idiot. That's it. There's very little that you can say about him that doesn't make you look and say "Were you dropped on your head when you were a sprat?" The whole plot even kicks into gear because he stupidly thought it was a good idea to blackmail Allison for money, despite having just fucked up with his boss Winlaw. Speaking of Winlaw, he's a crime boss. What else is there? He's psychotic, exudes fake charm, has no trouble threatening pain and torture and is power-hungry. That's pretty much it. Other than that, we have a grab-bag of generic redshirt mafia thugs who all die in various ways in addition to Winlaw's daughter whose presence is background material only to disappear from the book altogether, as if her subplot was forgotten about.
The dialogue also got me backed up in the Yoghurt Volcano Department because it feels so scripted and stiff. It's like the characters were reading cue-cards off to the side of some quirky B-Grade movie from the 1980's. At no real point did I feel any sort of connection to any of these characters through their dialogue in part because they all spoke in the same clumsy attempt at sounding quirky. It also creates massive tonal problems, where characters will start saying oddball things in the middle of what is supposed to be a serious moment. Is this comedy? Is this drama? What is it?!
As far as the action, horror and gore goes, they also feel very restrained and lacking. A book like this truly could have benefited more from leaning more into some real creative uses of psychic powers and while I get the idea that Allison has restrained herself for years and part of the story really only kicks into gear once she has some control, too much of the book feels milquetoast and flaccid. We really only get a big payoff in the final maybe 5% of the book's run but because of Strand's workmanlike writing, the red sauce and shock factor of the horror ends up feeling empty.
She ran at him and plunged a knife into his throat. As he fell to the side, she slammed the same knife into the man behind him, stabbing it into his chest several times, hoping she was getting him where the hot water landed. The other two men moved out of sight.
This is an actual piece of text from the book around the 50% mark, right around the time when Allison is defending herself from a home invasion. No bone crunching, no gurgling, no cringe-worthy descriptions to make you clutch your goolies. Just stripped-back text.
Come on Strand! Give me something to work with here!
You know what Jeff Strand reminds me of? Those writers from back in the 1980's, whose books you find in old second-hand book shops for a couple of bucks. Those old pulpy novels from the likes of Guy N. Smith and Shaun Hutson. Throwaway titles that took a premise, ran with it for a few hundred pages and sprinkled enough red sauce in like bloody snow over Jason Voorhee's house at Christmas time just to satisfy someone looking for a bloody afternoon with a beer and a packet of chips. I honestly don't know if Strand is just restraining himself here or whether this is typical for his style, but at this point, I can't see myself reading anymore of his work. It wasn't descriptive enough to thrill me, the characters weren't distinct enough to be sympathetic or likeable, the pacing wasn't tight enough to keep me engaged and the plot wasn't focused enough to make me care. The best I could say about this is that it's functional and okay for an afternoon, but as it stands, unless someone recommends a better book from him, whenever I think of Jeff Strand, I'll look like this.
This time was even worse.
I can't feel my legs!
For most people, I reckon the setup for Allison probably comes across a lot like Carrie. Socially inept woman, psychic powers and a lot of violence and blood, but for me, I likened Allison more to Clive Barker's Jaqueline Ess -psychic woman who can manipulate bodies - except without the whole self-loathing and the whole matter of becoming London's greatest sex worker.
Allison, Jacqueline Ess you ain't.
Like Bring her Back, the plot of Allison is pretty much a snowball plot. Something bad happens, shit gets worse, shit gets fucked, shit gets double fucked and then shit splatters against the wall. Except here, the whole plot just feels so much more drawn out. I never really got a sense of tension ratcheting up and no real sense of atmosphere or dread. Part of this I chalk up to the writing. Strand's writing is workman-like with little flounce or poetry, but its also extremely bland. He spends way too much time telling and not showing what's going on, spending a lot of pages just explaining character's thoughts and motivations. It's hard for me to care about what's going on when so much of the plot is spent just sitting around, waiting for Strand to explain what's going through someone's head.
The characters by and large are pretty underwhelming to be honest. Allison has the most presence by sheer virtue of being the main character and while she's decently written, a lot of what goes on just feels so standard. She's a socially inept middle-age woman whose psychic powers keep her on the fringes of society, her character development comes in the form of coming to terms with her psychic powers and in turn caring about Cody. Speaking of Cody, he's kind of just there. He talks about having Night Terrors early on in the story but it kind of goes nowhere and his quirky dialogue helps to separate him from the rest of the cast, but that's kind of it. Daxton is an cowardly idiot. That's it. There's very little that you can say about him that doesn't make you look and say "Were you dropped on your head when you were a sprat?" The whole plot even kicks into gear because he stupidly thought it was a good idea to blackmail Allison for money, despite having just fucked up with his boss Winlaw. Speaking of Winlaw, he's a crime boss. What else is there? He's psychotic, exudes fake charm, has no trouble threatening pain and torture and is power-hungry. That's pretty much it. Other than that, we have a grab-bag of generic redshirt mafia thugs who all die in various ways in addition to Winlaw's daughter whose presence is background material only to disappear from the book altogether, as if her subplot was forgotten about.
The dialogue also got me backed up in the Yoghurt Volcano Department because it feels so scripted and stiff. It's like the characters were reading cue-cards off to the side of some quirky B-Grade movie from the 1980's. At no real point did I feel any sort of connection to any of these characters through their dialogue in part because they all spoke in the same clumsy attempt at sounding quirky. It also creates massive tonal problems, where characters will start saying oddball things in the middle of what is supposed to be a serious moment. Is this comedy? Is this drama? What is it?!
As far as the action, horror and gore goes, they also feel very restrained and lacking. A book like this truly could have benefited more from leaning more into some real creative uses of psychic powers and while I get the idea that Allison has restrained herself for years and part of the story really only kicks into gear once she has some control, too much of the book feels milquetoast and flaccid. We really only get a big payoff in the final maybe 5% of the book's run but because of Strand's workmanlike writing, the red sauce and shock factor of the horror ends up feeling empty.
She ran at him and plunged a knife into his throat. As he fell to the side, she slammed the same knife into the man behind him, stabbing it into his chest several times, hoping she was getting him where the hot water landed. The other two men moved out of sight.
This is an actual piece of text from the book around the 50% mark, right around the time when Allison is defending herself from a home invasion. No bone crunching, no gurgling, no cringe-worthy descriptions to make you clutch your goolies. Just stripped-back text.
Come on Strand! Give me something to work with here!
You know what Jeff Strand reminds me of? Those writers from back in the 1980's, whose books you find in old second-hand book shops for a couple of bucks. Those old pulpy novels from the likes of Guy N. Smith and Shaun Hutson. Throwaway titles that took a premise, ran with it for a few hundred pages and sprinkled enough red sauce in like bloody snow over Jason Voorhee's house at Christmas time just to satisfy someone looking for a bloody afternoon with a beer and a packet of chips. I honestly don't know if Strand is just restraining himself here or whether this is typical for his style, but at this point, I can't see myself reading anymore of his work. It wasn't descriptive enough to thrill me, the characters weren't distinct enough to be sympathetic or likeable, the pacing wasn't tight enough to keep me engaged and the plot wasn't focused enough to make me care. The best I could say about this is that it's functional and okay for an afternoon, but as it stands, unless someone recommends a better book from him, whenever I think of Jeff Strand, I'll look like this.
May 6, 2023
She Kills, No seriously
Jeff Strand is an unique author that can blend murder and laugh out loud comedy. I have not read a book of his I didn't like and this is no exception. This book is about a woman named Allison who far more than what she seems.
Jeff Strand is an unique author that can blend murder and laugh out loud comedy. I have not read a book of his I didn't like and this is no exception. This book is about a woman named Allison who far more than what she seems.
March 20, 2020
Carrie meets John Wick.
April 9, 2020
My attempt to find a Jeff Strand book that I didn't like fails again! Worth it.
August 27, 2021
Allison lives an isolated life, and for good reason: she can break bones with her mind. She has no control over her powers, so when she becomes too emotional, bad things happen.
On one of her rare public forays, she meets Daxton and his girlfriend Maggie, and the fates of all three are sealed. And the fates of many others who made the mistake of crossing Allison.
The writing is pretty bare except for the dialog, which was snappy - it reminded me a lot of those old oddball comedies. I liked Allison a lot, and her inner dialog made me laugh a few time. Daxton was the type of villain you love to hate. There were a couple of stock characters, but the author put his own spin on them.
I had a fun time with this book, but I wish it had been more gory. What gore there was, was cool, and I could visualize it well. In fact, this would make a damn good movie. But a little more description would have been nice.
I'll be looking into more by this author.
On one of her rare public forays, she meets Daxton and his girlfriend Maggie, and the fates of all three are sealed. And the fates of many others who made the mistake of crossing Allison.
The writing is pretty bare except for the dialog, which was snappy - it reminded me a lot of those old oddball comedies. I liked Allison a lot, and her inner dialog made me laugh a few time. Daxton was the type of villain you love to hate. There were a couple of stock characters, but the author put his own spin on them.
I had a fun time with this book, but I wish it had been more gory. What gore there was, was cool, and I could visualize it well. In fact, this would make a damn good movie. But a little more description would have been nice.
I'll be looking into more by this author.
March 30, 2020
Awesome! So much fun! You need to read this immediately. If you have ever read the Wolf Hunt series, you are going to love this. Jeff uses the same voice as Lou, George, and Ivan. I love the fact that Allison is a middle age woman who meets a younger man of the same ilk. She is the super-hero we all need today. A woman who breaks bones by being over-emotional. Hahahahaha. If we could just all do that, the ‘poor’ men of the world would not stand a chance. The best would have been if Allison had PMS when she met Winlaw. Again, I emphasize, read this immediately!!!!
July 16, 2020
This is a fun ride which kept me turning the pages. Jeff Strand is the master of mixing horror and dark/humor. The ending was perfect, it really stuck the landing. If this book was a toothpaste, 10 out of ten dentists would recommend it.
Read
August 12, 2024Einer meiner ersten Thriller.
Die Idee der Geschichte finde ich sehr interessant. Ich kann nicht beurteilen, wie gut es im Vergleich zu anderen ist. Aber es lies sich sehr gut lesen und ich kann mir vorstellen mehr von diesem Autor zu lesen.
Die Idee der Geschichte finde ich sehr interessant. Ich kann nicht beurteilen, wie gut es im Vergleich zu anderen ist. Aber es lies sich sehr gut lesen und ich kann mir vorstellen mehr von diesem Autor zu lesen.
September 22, 2023
Strand has the best quirky characters, I swear they could be out of a Shirley Jackson story.
Wild, lighthearted and weird, something only Jeff Strand could write.
Wild, lighthearted and weird, something only Jeff Strand could write.
September 13, 2024
This was some of the most fun I’ve ever had reading a book. It’s so fun to root for characters like Allison.
I think Jeff Strand is my new favorite author.
I think Jeff Strand is my new favorite author.
February 1, 2026
A fast-paced and bloody read. I didn't feel a connection to the MC, so the book didn't really move me. Still quite a fun book.
May 6, 2020
This book is so much fun! I was immediately sold when I saw the cover art and needed a copy on my bookshelf. The story follows a middle-aged Allison who has telekinetic abilities that can decimate a human body, but has no way to control them. But you already knew that. If this sounds even remotely interesting to you, I urge you to buy this book. Don't hesitate. You'll thank me later.
I read DWELLER close to 10 years ago and absolutely loved it. Since then I haven't read much from Jeff Strand and I don't know why. I feel like I've been missing out and this needs to be rectified. I will be reading A LOT of Jeff Strand moving forward.
I read DWELLER close to 10 years ago and absolutely loved it. Since then I haven't read much from Jeff Strand and I don't know why. I feel like I've been missing out and this needs to be rectified. I will be reading A LOT of Jeff Strand moving forward.
July 21, 2020
A fun riff on the telekinetic woman story that frolics in a playground you wouldn't expect at first glance. Think Carrie White a la John Wick.
May 24, 2020
My third Jeff Strand book, and I'm convinced: Jeff Strand is the king of what I'm calling neo-pulp horror-comedy. He doesn't even need a joke to make you smile or even laugh - it just feels like a perfectly natural thing to do as you read his descriptions of violent mayhem. This guy is never going to win a Pulitzer, but he is always going to be my go-to for an easy-going, rip-roaring good time in a reading chair. Big thumbs up from this Ebert.
May 17, 2020
Fun, fast-paced modernization of Carrie.
This was my first Jeff Strand novel, and I instantly got engrossed thanks to his tight writing style, wacky characters, and supernatural fun. Would highly recommend this one to anyone who enjoyed Carrie, as Allison draws heavy influence from King's classic novel.
This was my first Jeff Strand novel, and I instantly got engrossed thanks to his tight writing style, wacky characters, and supernatural fun. Would highly recommend this one to anyone who enjoyed Carrie, as Allison draws heavy influence from King's classic novel.
March 22, 2020
Jeff Strand, the extremely talented and amazingly creative author of many books, has managed to keep me awake until 4am, yet again. Not surprising, you say. Well, that is true. But, I am still flabbergasted that such horrors and excessive amounts of violence could be convoluted into terrifying yet laugh-out-loud scenarios. I declare Allison SMASHING (in so many ways). I truly hope there is a sequel in the works.
Read via Kindle Unlimited
Read via Kindle Unlimited
June 20, 2022
I liked that one a lot. I couldn’t seem to stop reading it. I would read a few chapters then do something around the house and 15 minutes later I had my nose in it again. The supernatural, the gore, and the comedy were all perfectly executed. Bravo Mr. Strand!
May 21, 2020
He didn’t know the full extent of what she could do, and he didn’t know about the tragedies in her past, but he knew that she was either a very talented illusionist or that there was something strange about her.
Allison Teal was going on forty-six years older when the past seemed so vibrant and lively before her eyes once again. Tormented for years by her abilities, ones that manifested during extreme emotional distress or happiness, she had the power to shatter bones, mangel bodies and ultimately to kill even those she never meant to ever harm. She was merely ten years old the first time her ability truly showed its form to her. Isolated in the woods with her mother and father in their cabin, the very one they used frequently to escape the remains of every day life. It was here that she felt true terror as two masked men appeared at their doorsteps, demanding money and their wedding rings. Giving up merely thirty dollars, the gun was waved and she screamed. By the time she opened her eyes both the men were dead and unrecognizable. But so were her parents.
I’ll have to do it myself, because I can’t pay anybody enough to make it worth living with the memory of what they’ve done.”
She found herself in the ride of her life with a chance encounter with Daxton Sink and his pregnant girlfriend Maggie. As she slipped down their steps, seemingly without laying a hand on her Allison managed to hold her from falling, and in turn put a twisted plan into action for Daxton. As she begged and pleaded with the couple to have their baby checked out, she refused to explain her fears of broken bones of the unborn child because she knew what she was truly capable of. Daxton Was craving a way out of the life that had befallen him. Sworn into an organization of crime and deaths, it wasn’t until he screwed up and got Sam killed that his life would never be the same. Sam was the fiancé to Olivia, who happened to be The daughter of his boss, the imposing Dominick Winlaw. Promise of harm towards his and his unborn baby forced him to make a choice, one that’ll leave a devastating body count in its wake.
Break, you shitty leg. Break in half. Shatter. Just the leg. Break into a million pieces. Spray fragments of bone everywhere. Break. Break. Break.
Allison was lead to believe her actions caused Maggie to miscarriage the baby, and for that she was willing to pay him whatever she could to ease the burden of guilt on her subconscious. However, the baby was still living in Maggie’s stomach, unhurt. After Daxton failed to kidnap her and Mr. Winlaw demanded her head for the destruction of his men, she would unleash in herself the monster she was truly becoming. As the tale begins winding down, Cody was an innocent bystander the day with the baby, and her feelings towards him began to shift after his kidnapping. With Daxton on the run, it wasn’t long before he to was captured by Allison, and she used him to cure the happiness in her from causing Cody to shatter. With months of learning of her ability, she was truly ready to try a relationship for the very first time.
Allison opened her eyes. As she looked around the cabin, she saw the dead and broken bodies of Mom and Dad.
Allison Teal was going on forty-six years older when the past seemed so vibrant and lively before her eyes once again. Tormented for years by her abilities, ones that manifested during extreme emotional distress or happiness, she had the power to shatter bones, mangel bodies and ultimately to kill even those she never meant to ever harm. She was merely ten years old the first time her ability truly showed its form to her. Isolated in the woods with her mother and father in their cabin, the very one they used frequently to escape the remains of every day life. It was here that she felt true terror as two masked men appeared at their doorsteps, demanding money and their wedding rings. Giving up merely thirty dollars, the gun was waved and she screamed. By the time she opened her eyes both the men were dead and unrecognizable. But so were her parents.
I’ll have to do it myself, because I can’t pay anybody enough to make it worth living with the memory of what they’ve done.”
She found herself in the ride of her life with a chance encounter with Daxton Sink and his pregnant girlfriend Maggie. As she slipped down their steps, seemingly without laying a hand on her Allison managed to hold her from falling, and in turn put a twisted plan into action for Daxton. As she begged and pleaded with the couple to have their baby checked out, she refused to explain her fears of broken bones of the unborn child because she knew what she was truly capable of. Daxton Was craving a way out of the life that had befallen him. Sworn into an organization of crime and deaths, it wasn’t until he screwed up and got Sam killed that his life would never be the same. Sam was the fiancé to Olivia, who happened to be The daughter of his boss, the imposing Dominick Winlaw. Promise of harm towards his and his unborn baby forced him to make a choice, one that’ll leave a devastating body count in its wake.
Break, you shitty leg. Break in half. Shatter. Just the leg. Break into a million pieces. Spray fragments of bone everywhere. Break. Break. Break.
Allison was lead to believe her actions caused Maggie to miscarriage the baby, and for that she was willing to pay him whatever she could to ease the burden of guilt on her subconscious. However, the baby was still living in Maggie’s stomach, unhurt. After Daxton failed to kidnap her and Mr. Winlaw demanded her head for the destruction of his men, she would unleash in herself the monster she was truly becoming. As the tale begins winding down, Cody was an innocent bystander the day with the baby, and her feelings towards him began to shift after his kidnapping. With Daxton on the run, it wasn’t long before he to was captured by Allison, and she used him to cure the happiness in her from causing Cody to shatter. With months of learning of her ability, she was truly ready to try a relationship for the very first time.
Allison opened her eyes. As she looked around the cabin, she saw the dead and broken bodies of Mom and Dad.
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