American Daughter

by Stephanie Thornton Plymale

The sharp and surprising true story of a woman who finally sets out to understand her past, and the mother she had one day hoped to forget. Full of unexpected twists and unbelievable revelations, American Daughter is an immersive memoir that will have you on the edge of your seat to the very last page.

For years, Stephanie Plymale, successful CEO and interior designer, kept her past a fiercely guarded secret. Only her husband knew that her childhood was fraught with every imaginable neglect, hunger, poverty, homelessness, truancy, foster homes, a harrowing lack of medical care, and worse. Stephanie, in turn, knew very little about the past of her mother, who was in and out of jails and psych wards for most of Stephanie's formative years. All this changed when a series of shocking revelations forced Stephanie to revisit her tortured past and revise the meaning of every aspect of her compromised childhood.

American Daughter is the extraordinary true story of a young girl growing up on the wrong side of the American Dream. Stephanie has slept in blankets on the floor of crowded apartments, lived in the back seat of a car with her siblings, and spent decades looking over her shoulder at a mother who might just as easily hug or harm her. American Daughter is at once a moving account of a troubled mother-daughter relationship and a meditation on resilience, transcendence, and ultimately, redemption.

 

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Audiobook, Biography, Biography Memoir, Family

285 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 12, 2021

Reviews

[Tina Loves To Read · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a Non-Fiction/Biography Memoir/Autobiography. This book was really good in parts, but other parts I found very boring and slow moving. I feel for this girl/woman in this book. Overall I found this book thought-provoking, but in parts I found the pacing was off. I liked this book, but I did not love this book. I was kindly provided an e-copy of this book by the publisher (HarperOne) or author (Stephanie Thornton Plymale with Elissa Wald) via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review about how I feel about this book, and I want to send a big Thank you to them for that.

[Kara · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm clearly in the minority on this one, but it just wasn't for me.

It's hard to write reviews of memoirs. You feel like you're reviewing someone's life and their innermost thoughts, and that's not what I'm trying to do. I didn't care for the writing, and the way they author would foreshadow future events ("[it was the] last time I would ever see her"). I found myself skimming quite a lot.

I think the author's story is breathtaking. She and her mother have both been through so much, and there's so much that's terrible and shocking. I just wish the writing told the story better so that it could have been a more immersive experience.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stephanie Plymale speaks from the heart and shares a touching and moving chronicle of her survival from a horrendous childhood.

SUMMARY
American Daughter is Stephanie Thornton Plymale’s memoir. Her childhood was a series of nightmares, thanks to a mentally-ill mother who was in and out of jails and psych wards. Stephanie experienced neglect, hunger, poverty, homelessness, truancy, foster homes, abuse, and inadequate education.

Stephanie now in her fifties is successful and has risen above her horrendous childhood. Stephanie and her mom have been estranged during most of Stephanie’s adult life. But that all changed with a phone call from her mother telling her that that she was terminal ill. This call set Stephanie on a road of discovery about her mom, allowing for reconciliation and healing.

“But at the moment, I could only stand as if rooted in the middle of the room, overwhelmed by a desire so fierce it was like a revelation. This, I thought. I want this. And one day I’ll have it. “


REVIEW
AMERICAN DAUGHTER is a touching chronicle of Stephanie’s dreadful childhood. I appreciate her ability and her willingness to share some brutally honest revelations with us. She speaks from the heart and shares a moving story. Her writing is clear and concise.

One of the most amazing thing about this story is that Stephanie is okay. Despite everything she experienced as a child, she had the strength and fortitude to rise above her past and survived. She not only survived but flourished. She is a successful business women, an educator, and a happy wife and mother. How did she do that?

The story of her childhood is wrenching. This book is difficult to read in places but it’s real, and people need to know and understand what happens in situations where a parent is mentally-ill, and with children in the foster care. The “system” failed Stephanie and her family. They fell between the cracks. She was failed by the school system, the child protection system, the legal system, and the healthcare system We need to take action to prevent this from happening to others. If you liked books like Educated or Glass Castles you will find this book intriguing and thought provoking.

Thanks to Netgalley for an advance reading copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.


Publisher Greenleaf Book Group and River Grove Books
Published February 11, 2020
Review www.bluestockingreviews.com

[Katheryne · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this memoir, and while I understand the author’s life is heartbreaking and compelling and tragic, the writing and style were not for me. There is a great life story here and it could have been told in a more linear fashion, with more focus on her childhood. The fights and drama with her husband, the detailed descriptions of design, adoption, and an almost-affair were not integrated into the main thrust of the story with fluidity or intention. They slowed the narrative down and could have been left out. The outbursts towards her mom (as an adult) were written in a way that made me cringe - feeling empathy for her mom and making the author appear childish and selfish. I don’t think this is the author’s intention, however, and these scenes could have been improved in revisions and edits. The foreshadowing at the end of the chapters was unnecessary and ineffective and is best left to fiction, which this book is not. The best part of the book was the epilogue, where the author showed introspection and maturity when reflecting on her life and family. It’s unfortunate this writing style at the end didn’t start at the beginning.
Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the advanced readers copy. All opinions are my own.

[Shelby (catching up on 2025 reviews) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review to come!

[Darlene · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a completely heartwrenching memoir of a girl raised by her mentally ill, addict, hippie mother. My heart went out to Stephanie. The pain she went through was immense and I think the outlook she had after all she faced was simply amazing. There is so much to unpack in this one. You will just have to read it yourself. Just don't expect a light read.

[Valerity (Val) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this to be a very gripping book once I got fully into it, with its delving into the author and her dying mother’s background, and their painful interactions. It eased into becoming one of those page turners that I stayed up all night reading to the finish, despite no plans to do so. It’s very moving and painful, amazing at times, quite a read. If you have an interest in this type of read, you might want to give it a look also. Advance electronic review copy was provided by NetGalley, author Stephanie Thornton Plymale & Elissa Wald, and the publisher.

[Alana · Rating 1 out of 5]

Astonishingly terrible. This woman (no, she never got therapy) has major issues with control and self-victimization, and spends much of the book describing her attempts to recast herself as a deserving descendant of the educated upper class. She vilifies her mentally ill mother until discovering that she herself was a victim of child abuse which, apparently, made the mental illness excusable. I’m a bit speechless.

[Shannon Lee Barry · Rating 5 out of 5]

For fans of The Glass Castle or Educated. The rare marriage of a harrowing tale happening to an incredible storyteller.

[Judith von Kirchbach · Rating 5 out of 5]

A powerfully narrated memoir !
The author survived a deeply traumatic childhood. Abandoned by her mentally ill mother multiple times and in different ways, repeatedly separated from her family, frightened, hungry and abused. With so much against her, you might think there was no hope. But hers is not the story about a victim. Rather, it is about surviving and thriving.
She set her goals and achieved. For a family, a career, and for the little girl she never got to be. Stephanie had a long road ahead from her days in and out of foster care, being shuffled to neighbor’s homes, and detention centers while her mother was in jail, a psychiatric ward, or otherwise unable to take care of her six children. I was amazed that she was able to still love her mother and care for her in her dying days.
The book clearly shows systemic failure as well, in help for the mentally ill, the foster care system, the school system, the war on drugs and the criminal justice system.
The bookclubs left me absolutely floored because the author was able to clearly and distinctly voice that her story is by no means easily transferable to others and that she has had trauma therapy that enables her to talk freely about her childhood today.
AMERICAN DAUGHTER is about determination, compassion, and forgiveness.

[Cindy Easton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I haven't been this moved by a book in ages. I read it in 2 days and couldn't put it down. The author’s tragic and staggeringly beautiful story is told with dignity and grace. Her life story is compelling, but more so is the outcome. Rising above all she endured, Plymale not only created a life of beauty for herself and her family, but she also brought healing to those who harmed her or weren’t there for her throughout her life. Her words in this book are a gift to those who are downtrodden and seek to rise above their circumstances. And they are a gift to those who have the means to reach out and help others in need. This book is both gut-wrenching and inspirational. I highly highly recommend it.

[Angela Williamson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stephanie lived in and out of foster care her whole life. She survived not just one, but two auto accidents which should have killed her. The neglect and abuse she suffered would have crippled most people. Instead, Stephanie became everything she ever wanted in a mother. A successful businesswoman, a wife, a mother of three healthy, well adjusted children and finally, the caretaker for her mother. Her mother spent too many years in and out of jail, psychiatric hospitals, and had more boyfriends than a mom should expose her children to.
Stephanie spent the last years of her mother's life learning about the trauma her mother endured, the family that she never knew about and most importantly about the power of forgiveness. This book does not let you go from the first pages. A beautiful story of a life lived well, forgiveness and the love of a family and how it can change you.
Thank you NetGalley for the chance to read this book.

[Wayne Vandekraak · Rating 5 out of 5]

American Daughter is a raw and riveting story of hardship, injustice, and generational redemption. From the first till the last page I was captivated and spellbound and could not put the book down. The life-story of the author, Stephanie Thornton Plymale, is the story of America – the real and unvarnished America. A little girl who is the casualty of her mother’s trauma and yet refuses to succumb to be a victim herself. The author’s life allows us to see, as through a dark glass clearly, the reflection of our own country. A country with rough and raw edges, gritty and dark, yet dogged and determined. American Daughter, however, is ultimately about the deep-seated human longing to be found and to be known for who we truly are. American Daughter is a must read.

[Leza · Rating 2 out of 5]

A bit of a stretch to review someone’s devastating life experiences, fractured lives dominated by mental illness and horrific abuse; but this just wasn’t that well written. Repetitive, too many mentions of her interior design flourishes which frankly jarred with the subject matter and a few too many references to the author being beautiful. The lineage is interesting but to believe discovering that heritage resonates over a 150 years later in her career is a little far fetched. I don’t doubt the suffering but I just found the writing too ‘fluffy’ to serve a memoir like this. The epilogue however, carried genuine weight and maturity and was a very insightful opinion of America. If the rest of her writing had matched up to the epilogue this would have been a far more engaging memoir.

[Janis Howard · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a powerful read beginning with the first paragraph! I could NOT stop. I was impacted emotionally about this woman’s journey through her childhood. It is Stephanie’s life beginning with her as a child and the relationships that led her to who she is today: a woman who positively empowers others. . .

[Maggiendp · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would give this book 5 stars if I was rating my empathy for the author and her tremendous courage in achieving adulthood in one piece and apparently quite successfully. But I found the writing spotty and quite frankly the whole almost-affair piece was a distraction and boring. The writing about her childhood was heart wrenching, I would have liked to hear more about it.

[Ceeceereads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. I need to catch my breath. This book has emotionally blown me away. If you were moved by The Glass Castle, you may also want to read American Daughter. It was beautifully written; raw, complex and completely devastating. The journey of understanding that the author has been on was astounding to me. I so enjoyed reading about her present life and family and have been choked up many times as she revisited and tried to make sense of the past. It will take me a while to get over reading this book. 5 powerful and moving stars.

[Sierra · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don’t fully know how to feel about this book. The story of the author’s childhood and her discoveries as an adult are heart wrenching, but the writing is often tedious. She is also painfully selfish. I waited for the turn, where after going through all of this with her mother she would acknowledge how she herself has erred, but it never comes. She treats her husband terribly, relying on him for every aspect of her well-being and then proceeds to cheat on him. She acknowledges the emotional affair was wrong, but never seems to realize her expectations and reliance were unhealthy and unfair. The adoption of her daughter is also upsetting. It’s very clear she does not actually want to help a child, she wants to make herself feel better. She disregards the very idea of an open adoption without doing any due diligence, worried she’d have to deal with someone like her own mother without considering what is actually best for the child. Because of this “roadblock” she pursues international adoption, and again fails to acknowledge the potential psychological harm. She even mentions that Guatemala, where her daughter is from, stops all international adoptions in response to illegal adoptions where poor families are coerced into selling their children, but her main concern is how that will affect her own adoption process, never once considering that the child she is adopting could be a result of illegal practices.
Obviously all memoirs are self-centered, but her inability to recognize her own faults is off-putting to say the least

[Judy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love memoirs, especially stories about someone persevering through a difficult childhood and coming out better on the other side. I find them so inspiring and engaging, hard to put down. This title was sent to me by a friend this am. I downloaded it right away and couldn’t stop listening - got me through mindless Saturday house cleaning tasks. This memoir is so much better than the one I recently finished, “What My Bones Know “, that offered no hope; I found it like wading through quicksand. This one way better. Listen to on audio. PS: using your food stamp $ to get breast implants? That takes bad parenting to a whole nuther level!

[oohlalabooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to the author for sharing such intimate details of her childhood and upbringing. It’s a heart wrenching, powerful story with a beautiful understanding of what mental illness is, how actions and words can be traumatizing, and what a mother/daughter’s relationship should be and not. I haven’t felt emotionally compelled to a book in long awhile. (hugs)

[Kari · Rating 5 out of 5]

A painful memoir of a Survivor that endured years of abuse, neglect, poverty, homelessness and her mother’s mental illness and addictions with her siblings. It’s the Author’s incredible story of being able to rise above and become a success despite her past trauma. A deeply moving, powerful and heartfelt read.

[Aryn Burton · Rating 3 out of 5]

“It was not within my power to transform my mother, and it never would be”

This was a very hard read, the reality that someone can deal with so much hardship as a child is hard to fathom. Knowing that this isn’t just the story of one child, but millions makes it’s worse.

I kept wondering near the end of this what the point of this whole story would be, what did she want her story at the end of the day to keep with you. The epilogue was BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN, no beating around the bush - saying it how it is, and ultimately that chapter may have been my favourite part of the whole book. That you can feel sorry for someone, and understand the hardships they went through, take the time to learn their struggles and change your bias, but it doesn’t mean you need to forgive. We are all a product of someone or something and how do we cope with the consequences of that.

[Carla · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars

The description said this memoir is for fans of Educated and The Glass Castle and I’d have to say I wholeheartedly agree! Stephanie had a terrible upbringing – homelessness, foster care, sexually abused – the list is long and heartbreaking. Her mother suffered from mental illness and addiction, leaving Stephanie and her siblings to fend for themselves.

Stephanie is a great writer. Her prose immediately sucked me in and I knew I was in it for the long haul. Her journey with her mother was interesting – at the beginning of the book, they were nearly estranged, but as the book progressed, Stephanie’s mother becomes ill and she knows she wants to understand her mother as much as she can while she is able to get some answers. Through these revelations, Stephanie gains insight into her mother’s life and slowly begins to forgive her and have compassion for her. It really was a beautiful transformation that really reminds the reader that what others see on the outside is only a piece of the puzzle. Without excusing her mother’s behavior, Stephanie was able to heal her pain when she had more insight into her mother’s past.

What I absolutely hated about this book was Plymale’s exploration of her own marital issues with her husband. I appreciate that her husband was her saving grace, but the focus of the book should have stayed on her mother. This is a memoir, not an autobiography, so there was no need for Stephanie to stray into her personal problems in her marriage. To be honest, while I had a lot of compassion for Stephanie’s upbringing, the way she spoke to and about her husband darkened my opinion of her. I’m not saying there wasn’t value in her explorations of her unhappiness, but maybe it should have been in a different book. The two parts really didn’t compliment each other and I was way more invested in the mother/daughter relationship.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Find a way to be the love you didn’t get.”

Stephanie Thornton Plymale endured poverty, neglect, a mentally unhealthy mother, sexual assault and more during her childhood. But thankfully she found her husband and, with his help, became the love she didn’t get as a child.

I’m a huge fan of memoirs and I highly recommend this one that highlights how the systems of this country are failing many. This one has been compared to The Glass Castle and I can see why—I loved it.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
This is such an incredible story. So many emotions went through me the whole time I read this book. I, like many others, wondered how the author turned out so well after what she experienced growing up and even more as an adult I highly recommend this book.

[Luanne Ollivier · Rating 5 out of 5]

The most fascinating, captivating, gut wrenching, heart breaking tales are those that are true. Such as Stephanie Thornton Plymale's memoir - American Daughter.

Stephanie and her five siblings grew up in chaos - neglect, abuse, hunger, homelessness, extreme poverty and more. Their mother fought many demons - substance abuse, alcoholism and mental illness.

Despite the odds, Stephanie educated herself, got married, had children, ran a college and lived an enviable life. From the outside looking in, she was a success. But like that old saying goes - she was '...like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath."

It was not until she was in her fifties that Stephanie decided to try and find answers, reasons, cement her sketchy memories and finally ask her mother for truths This was a last chance as her mother was dying.

What she found was not at all what she expected. She learned more about her family, discovered relatives and saw her mother in a different light as she grew to know her as a person with her own struggles and demons. Stephanie found answers, healing and reconciliation. And herself.

This is not an easy read, so gentle readers be forewarned. But it's a true read. I am sure that Stephanie's story will resonate with many readers - for what happened to her and perhaps themselves. Sadly, there are many children living the same childhood she did.

It's impossible to judge someone's life. I applaud her honesty in sharing her life and her goal to "inspire others to share their stories, receive support and feel empowered by their ability to survive, forgive, heal, transcend and live the life of their dreams."

This was a five star read for me. If you enjoyed North of Normal, Educated or The Glass Castle, you'll enjoy American Daughter.

[Danielle W · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a very sad story but it is not like Educated or other works some blurbs compare it to. It is often saccharine, at times overly dramatic in the telling (describes an almost affair in Harlequin tones before later assuring you her husband is where she always belonged) and just puzzling (why are you including that your daughter whined about spending an hour at your mother's deathbed? Isn't that what kids do? It didn't add to the story and felt like an unnecessary swipe.) I don't at all mean to take away from the author's experience because it was BAD but memoirs of tragic tales still need solid bones and I didn't find that to be the case here.

[Amy White · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stephanie’s memoir is a captivating true story that will keep you on the edge of your seat and leave you feeling inspired. Despite the hardship she experienced as a child, from homelessness, neglect, and an estranged relationship with her mother, she grew into a strong, accomplished and nurturing woman with no regrets and no grudges. This story of overcoming will encourage you to achieve your dreams no matter what might be standing in your way.

[Michi Suzuki · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was INCREDIBLE, I finished it in 2 days. Written in such a powerful, raw and emotional manner - it had me in tears followed by waves of inspiration, hope and so much empathy for this author. She has a story to share with the world and one that will hopefully take away the very important messages and lessons I took away from it. Incredible. A must read for everyone. Thank you, Stephanie Thornton Plymale.

[Cheri Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! Such an amazing story, heartbreaking, devastating, I honestly couldn't imagine what she went thru. The things we take for granted, is unreal. Grateful I read this book. It made me appreciate my life and circumstances so much more. Very well written. 5 star read all the way!