A melancholic exploration of trauma, loneliness, obsession, and mental degradation. In beautiful prose that undulates between clarity and ambiguity, it probes and leaves one ultimately off-balance by the end, the mind whirling as the waves shift the sand.
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"I’m not going to lull you to sleep with dreams—but the signs make it clear to me that the brain is not something you can touch. The same is true for all things, and that’s what this story is about."
"No one’s crazy. I mean what I say. There are so many sides to reality that, in the best-case scenario, it’s cubistic. Worst-case scenario, predictable. Never flat."
"When I’d looked up rhinos online a few days earlier, countless close-ups of wounds had come up and ever since, I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about this act: ripping a horn off a rhino’s face."
"All things end in the sea, she said. In the landfill, said her mom. The landfill is in the sea, said Ellen. Then we are in the sea, said her mom. We are in the sea, said Ellen. Everything is clean in the sea, said her mom. Everything is always moving in the sea, said Ellen."
"There are so many ways to disappear. When I’ve been at my lowest, I’ve thought about how I could vanish without a trace. I didn’t want it to end with someone stumbling upon my body at the edge of a forest. A rowboat out in an open sea of sleeplessness and a shotgun report. Still, the most common, most unostentatious disappearances take place within a person. When the personality takes over the work of the soul and continues onward, fully mechanized, with the help of the body."