Shrinking the Integrity Gap: Between What Leaders Preach and Live

by Jeff Mattson, Terra A. Mattson

Every leader values integrity, but far too few live it out. The founders of Living Wholehearted, Jeff and Terra Mattson, find that most high-capacity leaders have experienced childhood trauma and use leadership as a way to cope.
 
In Shrinking the Integrity Gap, the Mattsons remind readers that integrity is a way of being and not a one-time event. Providing long-term solutions rooted in grace, they explore the Integrating biblical truth, clinical research, relational wisdom, and real stories, Shrinking the Integrity Gap equips readers to become the kind of leader anyone would want to follow.
 

Genres: Leadership

288 pages, Hardcover

Published October 1, 2020

Reviews

[Justin Nichols · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.7/5 -- This is a terrific book! First thing that comes to mind that I appreciate about it is that, as seasoned Christian therapists, Jeff and Terra bring a LOT of important nuance to some pretty big topics. They have a good way of broaching things that need to be talked about regarding leadership and all the pitfalls and character flaws that plague so many.

Another thing I appreciated about it is having all of the thoughtful antidotes at the end of each chapter. They helped to process and interact with all of the content. They weren't easy or shallow questions; they hit on some key, deeper aspects that would cause the reader to put some serious thought into answering them.

I had been wanting to read this book for a while (particularly because I have met the authors--my wife and I did an awesome marriage retreat weekend with them several years ago--and because of the important subject), so I'm glad that our staff read this all together. It'll be great to discuss many of the antidotes with those I work/minister alongside.

I definitely recommend Shrinking the Integrity Gap. There are many, many fine moments in it, but I'll finish this review by sharing just one excellent quote:

"Let us aspire to stay connected to the greatest leader of all time, Jesus. His thoughts and ways are attractive, and we need to allow ourselves to be transformed into His likeness as we stand in awe of His glory and holiness. We must step humbly, recognizing that we cannot do this alone, and then submit to others, who are experienced, wise, and trustworthy. When we fall short, we can pause and ask ourselves what need we’re trying to get recognized. A pattern of mistakes may be a clue to a childhood wound–– a need that requires grace, time, and tender attention...

Modeling the integration of mind, body, heart, and soul is a powerful kind of leadership. Integration is key to living and leading with greater integrity. This requires connecting to the past and its impact on the present, discerning between wants and needs, and learning to be fully known in a safe environment. If this hard work is done, it can literally transform our neuropathways."

[Ryan George · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciate voices that avoid binary options and that avoid framing the world as red vs blue. Jeff & Terra Mattson abstained from those cultural tendencies in this book. At the same time, they didn’t make integrity nuanced or relative, either. They simply acknowledged that we’re all on a continuum of integrity, all tempted to live below the standard of our best selves. With that pragmatism, they offer advice for managing the temptations in our hearts rather than managing our façades. They framed accountability as a resource to becoming our best selves—a version where our internal and external realities are congruent. I quoted my favorite line from their book in the first draft of the book manuscript I just wrote: “Faith is what faith does.”

[Carrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jeff and Terra lend their voices to the need for healthy, wholehearted leadership in our world. Everyone is a leader in some capacity whether a Mom or CEO. This book goes below the surface into the core of where our strengths and weaknesses guide our ability to lead well.

Jeff and Terra humbly share personal stories in each chapter which provided a connection between authors and reader. This delicate balance of thoughtful transparency and professional wisdom give this book an edge over other leadership books I have read.

I also appreciated the thoughtful “unpacking” at the end of each chapter to give space for processing and application.

[Jeff Kershner · Rating 5 out of 5]

The writing of this Christian counselor and coaching duo is easy and engaging to read, and carries an important message that should appeal to anyone who wishes to live with integrity. It encourages leaders (everyone really) to live as intentionally and congruently in their private lives as they espouse to the world. The book has tips on great tools (like the CVI) and personal stories that help drive the narrative and message. I see this being a resource to keep coming back to and not just a one-and-done read.

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jeff and Terra combine their years of trauma counseling, personal experience, and leadership training to write a book that speaks directly to how the unprocessed pain a leader has experienced impacts their health as a leader.

It's well written and refreshing, because it's not another book that SHOUTS do more to be a better leader. Instead, it challenges leaders to deal with their hurts and hang ups to lead with integrity and from a place of health.

Listen to the conversation I has with Jeff and Terra here: https://www.graceenoughpodcast.com/in...

[Annie Beckstrand · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written; thoughtful; and speaking from expertise. I think all leaders would benefit.

[Kendra · Rating 4 out of 5]

After hearing Jeff (a leadership coach) and Terra (a licensed counselor) on Carey Nieuwhof's Leadership podcast, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on their book, which explores the disparity between leaders’ professed values and their actual lives. We have all witnessed the downfalls of high-profile leaders who have succumbed to unethical behavior, and sadly these falls from grace seem to be happening at an alarming rate within the church. In The Integrity Gap, the Mattsens show leaders (and all of us, really) how to stop hiding behind the masks of achievement, influence, and status and “engage in the process of learning to live and lead with greater congruence and grace.” They unpack the meaning of integrity, get to the root causes of why we experience gaps between our values and behaviors (trauma, narcism, isolation, and compartmentalization to name a few), and outline strategies for achieving wholehearted leadership. Relying on personal experience with church leaders as well as observations of everyone from local church pastors to US presidents, the Mattsens provide a compassionate but truthful portrait of a devastating problem with attainable solutions.

This book is an invaluable resource for Christian leaders—especially those in high profile positions, who are most likely to suffer from the symptoms caused by gaps in integrity. I love the way the Mattsens have brought important psychological concepts and research into the faith world, blending leadership principles and human behavior insights with the truth of Scripture. In a way, their work is itself an exercise in narrowing the gap between secular and sacred aspects of leadership. Though I am not a pastor or a leader of any kind, I foiund this incredibly informative and applicable for my role as a “leader” in my own family.

My Rating: 4 Stars.

This review first appeared on my personal blog, https://kendranicole.net/february-202...

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