I think this book could have been good if it had a better editor. Not just someone to worry about sentence structure but also someone to chop things out and make the story itself a little less repetitive.
Also, it would have been great if that editor were a man. The male characters just did not feel realistic to me. I get that this story is written for women by a woman, but I almost found some of the dialogue and thoughts of the men laughable.
This issue was driven home further because we had to spend scenes hopping back and forth from the male to the female character's thoughts. This took out a lot of the surprise, and nothing was a mystery. An example of this is when the H and h meet. We start in the man's head where he's amazed by her beauty, then we jump into the woman's head where she thinks she should have put on makeup and doubts the guy has any interest, this back and forth goes on a few more times until the man leaves a large tip and a note about seeing her again. All of the scenes like these would have been better if we only saw things from the woman's perspective, with her not sure about how the guy feels only to receive the tip and the note in the end as a surprise. But then the book would have been a lot shorter, which perhaps the author didn't want, but in my opinion this would have made for a much better if faster read.
I opted to give "Merry Me" two stars instead of one for an okay plot and characters that could have been interesting, though nothing quite met its full potential here due to writing issues.