Narcissistic Fathers: The Problem with being the Son or Daughter of a Narcissistic Parent, and how to fix it. A Guide for Healing and Recovering After Hidden Abuse

by Theresa J. Covert

Do you think your father might be toxic?
Still struggling from the effects of a narcissistic or psychopathically abusive relationship?

Many people do and sadly there is very little information available to be found online or in the written research, or with counsellors and therapists that can help. Narcissistic Victim Syndrome is not officially recognised, nor is it widely even known.
Even when it is accepted, recognised and known not many people seem to know what to DO ABOUT IT to heal it… The fact is being in a relationship with a narcissistic mother over a long period of time has long lasting traumatic effects that can be extremely catastrophic to the person suffering them.

But First, A
Before we go further, let me make something abundantly
This book does not contain a "magic wand" that will bring you instant answers without having to do any work. What I’m about to share with you takes both time and effort and has worked wonders for me and my private clients. And I believe it can help you too. But this only works for those who are willing look deep inside themselves and are committed to finding true happiness. So with that said, let me tell you…

As a
- You felt like you were never good enough
- Your father seemed wrapped up in themselves and their life
- Your father didn’t seem to care about your feelings
- Your father was very controlling and manipulative
- You were made to feel bad or wrong if you got upset
- Your needs weren’t met

As an
- You still feel like you are not good enough
- You feel confused, anxious, sad in your relationship with your father
- Your father puts you down, and never celebrates your achievements
- You sometimes doubt your perception of events, and feel like you are going crazy
- You struggle to make decisions and have difficulty trusting your gut instinct or intuition
- Your father is very critical, manipulative, controlling and tells lies
- They still don’t seem to care about your feelings or your needs
- You feel like you are the one parenting them

This Book is for you if you have been in a toxic relationship with your parent and you just want to make sense of it and make some changes.

Maybe you have tried to talk to your father or friends about your relationship, but they don’t understand either and they may even tell you that it couldn’t have been that bad.

Maybe you know that your father treated you badly and unfairly growing up, and you know its affecting you now but you don’t know what to do about it.

Sometimes a parent can have a mental health illness like depression, borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, or addictions, which unfortunately would have created a toxic environment for you to grow up in.

If so, then you might be feeling really alone and confused, frustrated and unable to see a way out or how things can change.

This retreat is NOT meant to be a substitute for clinical intervention including psychotherapy, it is meant to be educational and supportive.

I can’t promise you that reading to this book is going to be a “total cure”, but I can promise that if you APPLY YOURSELF DILLIGENTLY, take notes, read and re-read the chapters, follow all instructions to the letter, with a tenacious resolve to get better you will feel an instant decrease in anxiety within the first 24 hours and should see huge improvements within the first 3 days. This is not hype, this is what my audience commonly report

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Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Parenting

141 pages, Paperback

Published March 15, 2020

Reviews

[Tiffany Dominguez · Rating 5 out of 5]

I know this book doesn’t have many reviews. I was skeptical to start it because of that. But…wow. The daughter of a narcissist herself, the author (also a doctorate in psychology) nails it on the behaviors, repercussions and how to heal from a narcissistic father.

I cried during parts. And when she suggested being the parent to myself I never had because I deserved the love I was told I never deserved, it was a break through moment for me. Highly recommended.

[Myada Elmasry · Rating 3 out of 5]

كتاب خفيف ومفيد، يُقدّم مدخلًا واضحًا وبسيطًا لفهم الحياة مع أب نرجسي، ويشرح تأثير هذا النمط الأبوي على الأبناء بطريقة مناسبة للمبتدئين الراغبين في التعرف على الموضوع أكثر.

[Non · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've never had a self-help book hit home quite like this before. I've always known there was something wrong with him, but it wasn't until month 10 of trauma therapy when I finally felt strong enough to talk about him. My therapist used the dreaded word after I read some old letters out loud to her. "His words are narcissistic." Record scratch. What? But my mother is the token narcissist in the family. They can't both be narcissists, right? After reading this book, the word fits him like a glove. I've never felt so validated. The book made me grateful he never reached the typical love-bombing phase of abuse, at least not with me. I'm certain that's the reason I never really bonded with him and don't miss him. I was simply never good enough to be loved, so the only thing I'm "missing" without him in my life is attempted control, projection, frustration, and abuse. This book is a good starter read for adult children of narcissistic fathers that are starting to escape the fear, obligation, and guilt of an abusive relationship and ready to start loving themselves the way their father has never been capable. While validating, the book is no substitute for psychotherapy. A therapist who specializes in childhood trauma is helpful for adult children of narcissistic parents. Narcissistic abuse can cause complex PTSD, anxiety, depression, derealization, disordered eating, and more. And if you're reading this, I'm so sorry.

[Grace · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted more from this, personally. The author seems to assume you just found out your dad was a narcissist, or are maybe just suspecting it, but I’ve known my dad was a monster all my life so I couldn’t connect to the parts that stressed how shocking it can be to learn that your father isn’t the good person you think he is. Lol, I’ve never thought my dad was a good person, at least not that I can remember. The descriptions of narcissism in this book were literally descriptions of my dad, so that was fascinating, but again, something I already knew. I wanted more emphasis on how to actually heal from that. There was some on healing, but very bare bones. It was definitely spot on with a lot of the feelings someone gets being raised by someone like that (feeling unlovable in particular). This would be a better person for someone who is just learning that their father might be a narcissist and wants somewhere to start.

Also, I’m definitely the scapegoat, but he didn’t have a golden child that I remember, even though I have three younger siblings.

[Janice Kujawa · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Must Read

I really enjoyed digging deeper into what a narcissist is. Many adults often wonder "why am I the way I am?" After reading this book, many people might be able to finally answer that question. But its good to know that you're able to rise above and relinquish the hold of a narcissist. Will definitely recommend.

[Morgan Wick · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learned so many details I needed to understand. It felt like reports written about my family dynamics throughout my life. I've been doing a lot of research to help understand. This felt like it filled in some gaps for me. It was a quick listen, I plan to immediately start it again to absorb a bit more.

[Isabelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5, no citations, def more of a guide than a textbook

[Gayla Gomes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Raised by a narcissist

Do you have trouble forming relationships? are you unhappy? anxious? do you have self doubt? Is it hard for you to relate to your own needs? Perhaps you were raised by a narcissist. If you were this book can help you on your road to recovery

[Sumer Sener · Rating 5 out of 5]

informative read

Very informative and concise read. It is the first book I’ve read on narcissism. I think, however, that it lacks understanding of the father. The book could benefit from a chapter or two Sally the inner worlds of the narcissists and what caused them to be the way they are.

[Keith · Rating 5 out of 5]

First off this had nothing to do with my dad. My dad is a wonderful man and my mom was a wonderful woman. However, I had to see how this works on both sides. You know when you have a life time of being gas lighted by people you have to examine the whole spectrum. One thing I learned with some of the former men I used to be friends with who are like this? Wow. The funny thing to be treated as an object for their benefit and I can connect the dots and see it now. Were we ever friends? The funny thing with those guys who are like this I don’t talk to any of them. Either an argument or lost touch. Thank God. One sign of this if you disagree with the person and then this is seen as wrong. That is a wake up call. Now we can agree with disagree and get along but don’t try to convince or brainwash to see your point of view. I saw this in some cases and I won’t identify who but after my mom died and someone in my family who was a man insisting certain things. You can’t do that. I can’t go into another person’s world and insist things. Then I can’t go into personal worlds saying what that person should do. So my advice is read these books. This one was good about narcissistic fathers.

[Tia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wasn't expecting to feel this validated in the end tbh. I really wasn't.
If you have a narcissist parent you would know how you end up going through phases of "maybe I'm the problem and not him".
But this book gives you the confidence of not only the fact that he's the problem but also that no matter what I can over come that

Just because past was shitty doesn't mean future will be too.

Tho imo the "how to heal" part was far to short but then again I don't think reading long eassys on that will help in healing
You'll need to understand and accept the problem which 1st 11 chapters help in and then figure out a way to deal with it and ch12 helps you in how do to do that for some situations, for rest you need to come with on your own because it might be a "categorised abuse" it's still unique to every case. Might have similar patterns across cases but still it's gonna be different

Definitely helps in understanding a mind of narcissist and gives validation to those who need.

Imo a must read

Felt like it was written just for me

[Dana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Narcissistic fathers...

I chose this book because through my therapy sessions I discovered my father has narcissist traits. I needed to learn why he treats me the way that he does, and how my childhood affects my adulthood. This book has made cry as I read descriptions that remind me of my father. I feel I am better equipped to heal from my painful childhood and move forward with confidence.

[Tiffany · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's like someone took my experiences and wrote them down

The experience the author writes about when a child of an NPD father realizes that their father is a narcissist was word for word the process I have gone through.

This book is a great step in realizing I'm not alone. Not all of it was relevant to me but 90% of it was.

If you suspect your father was a narcissist then please please read this book.

[Anna Pembs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book

As a daughter of a narcissistic father, I found this book very validating, truthful and helpful. It's written in an honest way and if you are ready to accept the truth about your narcissistic father, that he was/ is indeed mentally ill and will never be able to love you in the way you needed or deserved, then this book is for you.
Thank you.

[Alexander J. Hankes · Rating 5 out of 5]

fantastic for those rediscovering themselves after an abusive childhood

I really enjoyed this book. Currently sitting at 38 years old realizing that I don’t even know myself as I’ve worked through my upbringing and being both the black sheep and the golden child. This book was well written and provided the initial framework to living my life on my terms.

[Robert A. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Controlling Vs Neglectful Fathers

Very helpful book, my only critique is that it is mostly about controlling fathers & rarely speaks of the neglectful father who invests little to nothing in his spouse or children while chasing his own selfish desires to the detriment of the family at large.

[M · Rating 2 out of 5]

as an entry level introduction, the message is fine but this book is poorly written, repetitive, and completely devoid of nuance. hammers the same surface level points for several chapters and doesn’t explore anything outside of the author’s personal experience. read the narcissist in your life by Julie L Hall instead for actual insight.

[Nicole Harmon · Rating 4 out of 5]

An understanding of narcissism in family

I liked this book because it further explains narcissm and it's effect on family. I'm fathers it's two personalities you deal with. Can't wait to read the mother's traits. Recommend to buy!

[Angie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good but repetitive

The book has good and accurate information, but it is also very repetitive. It is written for someone who is trying to determine if their father was a narcissist or who just realized their father was.

[Keisha King · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Home"

This book really hit home for me. I can definitely understand why the author got into psychology after that type of childhood. It was a good read. I would definitely recommend this book to my family.

[Christina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very insightful. I appreciated the emphasis on finding a good therapist. A therapist that isn't capable of working with a survivor of narcissistic abuse can do more damage. Like any profession, not all mental health professionals are good at their jobs.

[Lindsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

My therapist recommended this to me, and I must say, as the child of a narcissist, I felt seen by this book. It was both illuminating and helpful to recontextualize my childhood and how I interact with my family and the wider world.

[Madison Swartz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very informative book on how narcissists function and why they do the things they do. Not an incredible book for healing or many ways to deal with narcissists but just to see how they tick and why they are so hurtful.

[Katrina Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredibly interesting

This book talks about things which a lot of people are afraid to talk about. It gives you a true insight.

[laura newman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful

This book is helpful in dealing with people who are toxic and insist on dumping on people they should be supporting the most

[Teresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I related to almost everything covered in the book. I found it helpful and validating.

[Chelsea D · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF. The narrator is extremely boring. I would read a paragraph and completely forget what I’d read. There’s some good info here but it’s too hard to get through.

[Devorah Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cried so much, how true the book was to my life.

[Shafaq Khan · Rating 5 out of 5]

So relatable, 5 stars

[Robyn White · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audiobook.