Bailando con elefantes

by Jarem Sawatsky, Vicente Merlo Lillo (Translator)

"If you need some encouragement in living with joy, read this book. It will change your perspective on everything." --Lana Philips

"Sawatsky beautifully models a way to dance in the gale of full catastrophe, to celebrate life, to laugh with it and at himself." --Jon Kabat-Zinn, national bestselling author of Full Catastrophe Living

"...beautiful and inspiring book...full of humor and wisdom about the pain of loss in our life, by someone living with a debilitating disease." --Jean Vanier, national bestselling author of Becoming Human

NATIONAL BESTSELLER
2017 NAUTILUS AWARD WINNER
2017 LIVING NOW BOOK AWARD WINNER

Want to enjoy the life you are living, even as you face major life challenges?

Is your mind succumbing to age? Is your body failing you? Can you ever find joy, peace, or fulfillment in these challenging conditions? The answer is a resounding YES.

Author Jarem Sawatsky saw the countless guides out there for those caring for the ill and healing the curable, but when he was diagnosed with Huntington's Disease he found there was nothing for those living with incurable illness. He quit his job as a professor and devoted his life to exploring the possibilities of living with chronic conditions. Now he's bringing his findings and insights to you in this empowering mindfulness guide.

In Dancing With Elephants you'll discover:

Simple practices to bring healing to your heart and life to your new outlook Humorous (and occasionally heart-wrenching) stories of Sawatsky's own journey of self-discovery and surprising family caregiving Multiple ways to build confidence in yourself, even when you've been shaken to the core A new perspective to transform your pain and renew your spirit Practical tools to face your seemingly inescapable fears, and much, much more! Based on the popular blog of the same name, Dancing With Elephants includes insightful interviews with compassion experts Jon Kabat-Zinn, Lucy Kalanithi, and Patch Adams. Sawatsky's landmark book provides support that only a fellow traveler down this road can offer.

If you like touching stories, mindful wisdom, and a touch of irreverent humor, then you'll love Sawatsky's life-changing book.

Buy Dancing With Elephants today to discover a new way to live with joy!

Book 1 in the award-winning & National bestselling series. More than 35K copies of the series sold and over 475 of five star reviews. Available in digital, print and audiobook.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Health, Psychology, Mental Health, Death, Medical

236 pages, Paperback

Published September 30, 2019

About the author

Jarem Sawatsky, Ph.D., is the National Bestselling author/ co-author of 5 books, including the award-winning Dancing with Elephants. He is internationally known for his work as peacebuilder, and teacher working to bring an engaged mindfulness to those interested in wellness, resilience, and transformation. He is Professor Emeritus of Peace and Conflict Transformation Studies at Canadian Mennonite University.

Since being diagnosed with a terminal disease, he has been stumbling his way (literally) into finding more healing and joyful ways to live. His most recent book is the National Bestselling and award-winning “Dancing with Elephants.”

Even though he has holes in his brain (yes, literally), his work has been celebrated by authors who have sold over a million copies such as Lucy Kalanithi and Peter V. Rabins, Nobel Peace Prize Laureates like Jody Williams and Mairead Maguire, New York Times Bestsellers like Sharon Salzberg and Jen Mann, National Bestselling authors like Jon Kabat-Zinn, Margaret Wheatley and Jean Vanier, and even a well-known clown, Patch Adams.

If you would like a free copy of A More Healing Way – Vol 2 in his award-winning How to Die Smiling Series (a 4-hour video and audio series), go to www.jaremsawatsky.com/more-healing/.

Reviews

[Amanda]

DNF @35%. Too much god/religion for me.

[moxieBK · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dancing with Elephants — Jarem Sawatsky (5 parts; 30 chapters) Nov. 21-23, 2017

I bought this book on Sept. 21, 2017, because I needed it to understand and find comfort in my uncertainty and pain (my father has Dementia,) but I didn’t read it right away. I felt it might be too painful to read it. I had anxiety about what I might read within these pages. And I was scared for my father. We had discussions after he was diagnostic, and before he got worse (currently, his short term memory is totally shot, but his long term memory is sharp.) Life with a Dementia person (I didn’t live with him, but my Momma did before he had to go into the nursing home,) and he would describe how he’d look at Momma and see his sister or his mother or an old girlfriend (from nearly 70 years ago, mind you,) and I could see in his eyes he knew he was failing. And he’d say top me: I never thought I’d go this way. I'd never thought I’d die before her (my Momma.)

It was heartbreaking to listen to him talk, but I knew he needed that. And then this book came along. And like I said: I didn’t think I could read it. And then another life changing event took place: my nine year old lap cat died and I suffered for it. (People who do not have pets will not understand how the companionship of a furry friend can be just as real as a human friend.) That is when I was going through my ebook and this one popped up. I call it one of two after-death events that BK left for me. Because after I read this book, I felt a lot better on so many levels. The chapter on Living Beauty Awake really made me sentimental, because I saw my BK boy in it. But crying is a great release and it always helps me overcome. After reading this book, I went out and gifted this book for Momma because I know she will benefit from it as well.

I am not a religious person, and there is a lot of religious/spiritual aspect in this book….but thankfully nothing too preachy. This is more about finding your inner-self and working through issues that humans struggle with in life-ending (somewhere in the known/unknown future.)

This is specifically for people with those issues, but even people without, it is helpful for. This book is just plain good sensible living strategies. None of us know when our last breath may be, and this book helps keep that into perspective.

For me, it was helpful because I see things differently now that my Dad is ill. I understand things better now that my Momma struggles with her own decisions, both in relationship to her (she has early signs of Alzheimer’s,) and the decisions she’s had to make for Dad.

It’s never easy when you know your life is definitely going to decline in the nearer future. And I find it interesting how perspective changes when you say, “ah, it’s out there somewhere,” as opposed to “ah, sheesh, it’s closer than somewhere.”

A fantastic book. One of the best non-fiction books I’ve read this year, and perhaps ever. Not preachy at all, despite this being the author’s background. (Thanks so much for that!) And a very quick read. The chapters were just the right length. I did read this on a traditional e-reader; there are videos and other links in this book that make it more suited for a tablet, but I've always been more of a traditional e-reader type. Reading it on a Kindle or Kobo or Glowlight Plus will be absolutely fine. This was the perfect non-fiction book to read for my Thanksgiving holiday, full of a lot of thankful thoughts and walking (and waking) meditations that really touches the Soul, no matter the current health status.

Five stars.

[L.R. Pardee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely marvelous. It's been a long time since I've written a review, but when I got to the end of this book, turned to the front, and started reading again, I knew I had to. Our author, Jarem Sawatsky, is dying of Huntington's Disease. That's not really a spoiler. This book is his exploration of living his remaining years beautifully. You would not expect such an exploration to be uplifting and delightful, but he nails it. For anyone facing mental and physical decline, and, spoiler alert, that's all of us, this book is an excellent road map for a life well-lived.

[Tiempo de Lectura · Rating 4 out of 5]

"El arte de bailar con elefantes no consiste en la eliminación del sufrimiento. No queremos matar al elefante. Aprendemos a bailar con él.Todos los seres vivos sufren. Para reverencias la vida, no podemos seguir en una actitud de negación; hemos de comprender que el sufrimiento y la muerte son inevitables".

En esta historia el autor Jarem Sawatsky nos cuenta que su vida está en medio de un gran baile con elefantes ( miedos). El actualmente está luchando con sobrellevar su vida en medio de una enfermedad crónica degenerativa (Huntington), enfermedad de la cual ha sido testigo anteriormente, ya que es hereditaria. Conforme la historia avanza va tocando temas diferentes a la par de sus vivencias en referencia a estos, temas como: Soltar el miedo, Sustituir el miedo por amor, Celebrarlo todo etc. Temas que para el son cotidianos y difíciles de vivir, pero el ha decidió aceptarlos y vivir hasta el final de la mejor manera posible. Realmente nos muestra que en nuestra actitud está enfrentar todos nuestros miedos.
Algo me gustó es que también entre algunos relatos el autor nos deja algunos de sus poemas, que la verdad me gustaron mucho.


Una historia humana e inspiradora

[ML Faulkenberry · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was very insightful to me. I found a few chapters that I cannot wait to share with family caregivers in our weekly Dementia Support group. Several of the chapters I found to be very enlightening were Celebrating Everything and Responding to a Disease with a Circle and Embracing Weakness. I heartily recommend this book to anyone who is walking in the valley of Dementia or any other life long illness and Share it with your "circle of care".

[Lyndsi · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well...wasn't what I expected. And maybe that's my problem. Not written well, but most of the advice is decent. I was turned off from all of the "to learn more about xyz, email this address, or find this page, etc." I'd recommend putting all those advertisements at the end on a reference page instead of spelling it out throughout the book. I tried to appreciate this book, but...meh. I can sum up this book in ten words: We're all going to die one day; deal with it. *Shoulder shrug*

[Adrian Nester · Rating 5 out of 5]

Both helpful and hopeful. A lot of books are written for people with disease and their caregivers, but this honest, first-hand account from someone with a chronic disease is a true gift.

[Nati · Rating 5 out of 5]

A life lesson. This book teach us how to live life, but nor only throug illness but through health as well. Jared show us to focus in what really matters and to fully enjoy everything we do, not only when we are experiencing a rough time but every single day of our life's.
I received an advance copy of this book but reviewed it voluntarily
Thanks Jared for sharing your life experience with us

[Ink Drinker · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have never ever said this before / this book changed my life.

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

Superficial

I think maybe it’s just me I was looking for a little bit more concrete ways to go about some of the steps as I am truly a beginner

[Bob Morton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an ARC copy of this book. What follows is an honest review.

The author has Huntington's disease. As the disease progresses in a human body the person loses control over their movements. Some have likened the lack of control to that of an elephant dancing, hence we have the name of the book.

When faced with a disease like Huntington's of which there is no cure, one has to decide what they will do with their life and what remains. Many will try to fight it, some, like the author will embrace it. This does not mean they will not hold on to every bit of life they can, but that they will live a life where there will not be a lot of drama. Decisions will be made before they need to be, arrangements made that need to be done. That is the thrust of this book.

One needs to get support not just for the person, but to their love ones as well. In this book, the author suggests making circles of people from all walks of life, that can treat each part of you, not just the medical ones the doctors can.

It is a well written book. I would recommend it to any going through a terminal illness, of their own or a loved one. I also found many inspirational moments in the book as well. While I have cancer, it is a slow moving one so I do not have the same trauma that many do. Still I think many just going through life could gain from this as well.

[maria arcara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I barely just finished reading this book and I'm simply overwhelmed. I had no idea what Huntington's disease is and it breaks my heart to think of people both having to experience it and having to watch loved ones experience it. I feel like Mr Sawatsky's attitudes and approaches are nothing short of amazing! I found this book to be incredibly inspiring and I deeply value the content included. I love how he put links right into the book so I could get directly to the videos; I appreciate that he included his own poetry and such poignant quotes from others; and, I think most of all, I value the suggestions and tools he offers for anyone dealing with any type of struggle. It's true that my story is as different from his as night is from day, yet I found numerous bits of advice, information and perspective that I believe will help me to live in a more loving and compassionate way. Thank you, Mr Sawatsky, from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story, insights, intentions, love and humor with the world!

[Ekta · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a professional in the younger onset neurocognitive degenerative diseases space, and as someone who lives at-risk for a rare dementia, I can vouch for how beautiful this book is. A must-read for anyone who lives or is at-risk for a chronic condition.

I am willing to look past how much the author hails Jon Kabat Zinn and Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction when in reality all of these teachings come from Buddhism.

I don't mind the talk about god and references to the Bible and such because I am able to draw parallels with my beliefs.

A co-worker of mine died of ALS this summer and she found immense peace in reading this book. I also read a portion of it to a group of people living with Huntingtons and they cried because they felt seen and heard, and it brought them perspective.

You have to remember: The author lives with Huntington Disease.

[Maribel, Entre mar y libros · Rating 2 out of 5]

Curioso libro de no ficción que nos acerca a la enfermedad degenerativa y la muerte como parte de la vida nos cueste asimilarlo o no. De la mano de un prestigioso hombre heredero del mal de Hutinton.

Y como a raíz del mainfullness,meditación, su grupo de apoyo cristiano, y técnicas budistas ayuda a que se lleve esto mejor para el que lo sufre y le rodea.
Vivir el momento como si fuese el último.

Ser creativo, amar, intentar ser positivo , feliz , y sufrir o angustiarse menos con técnicas.
Por ahora me gusta , lo tengo en audiolibro y es muy gratificante.

[Ugnė Jurgelevičiūtė · Rating 3 out of 5]

Knyga - trumpas apibendrinimas, kaip drąsiai sutikti ligą ir senti sukaupus jėgų. Aptariama, kaip atrasti daugiau sutvirtinančių būdų gyventi.

“Kančia - realybė, kurią reikia sutikti pakelta galva.”

“Tie žmonės, kurie savo kūne jaučiasi tarsi namuose, priverčia gerokai mažiau kentėti tuos, kurie yra šalia jų, ir tuos, kurie bando jiems padėti. Tai juk grandininė reakcija.”

“Tikiu, kad galiu būti bent per pus tokiu žmogumi, kokį mane įsivaizduoja mano šuo.”

“Gijimas - tai gebėjimas išsilaisvinti iš dalykų, kurie negali įkvėpti gyventi, ir kasdien daryti tai, kas teikia gyvenimo džiaugsmo.”

“Medicininia tyrimai rodo, kad ligą vertinantieji kaip “priešą”, jaučia stipresnę depresiją ir nerimą, jų gyvenimo kokybė prastesnė nei tų, kurie į ligą žiūri pozityviau.”

“Jei suklupai, apsimesk, kad tai - šokio dalis.”

[T. Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love

This is a very valuable addition to my library and my life learning experiences. I read it slowly, absorbing the words so as to apply them to my life. I knew nothing of "mindfulness" training and have been curious. This book is one I am sure I will return to often as a handbook for life. I also listened to the audio book for the book. Both are well done and much appreciated! Big smile!

[Zalias · Rating 4 out of 5]

Knyga pas mane atkeliavo netikėtai. Nustebino požiūrio kampas "Mes visi mirsime. Nusiramink. Klausimas yra ne "kaip". Klausk, ar tu gyveni. Ar esi toks žmogus, kokiu nori būti?". Buvo vietų, kurios man skambėjo keistai, buvo vietų, kurios įkvėpė. Plona knygelė, kurią gerai perskaityti visiems.

[Shining Star · Rating 5 out of 5]

Knyga skirta žmonėms, sergantiems nepagydomomis ligomis.
Įtraukė nuo pirmo puslapio. Knygoje apstu susimąstyti verčiančių sakinių, kurie giliai įstrigti į širdį gali ir lėtine liga nesergančiam žmogui.
Labai smagi struktūra, ganėtinai trumpi skyriai, kas galbūt darė įtaką tam, jog greitai ir lengvai susiskaitė.

[Wayne Northey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Review of Dancing With Elephants: Mindfulness Training
For Those Living With Dementia, Chronic Illness or an Aging
Brain, Jarem Sawatsky, Winnipeg: Red Canoe Press, 2017.
This is a mind-blowing book! It is written by a man whom my
wife and I knew when a child, because of intersecting with his
parents (our contemporaries) when they lived in Vancouver, later
in Winnipeg and Hamilton. Sadly, Jarem’s father is never
mentioned except with reference to his parents’ marriage being
“crushed piece by piece” (p. 91). And his mom, who lived the
“earthquake” of Huntington’s with denial her only skill, is
mentioned numerous times as a kind of foil for what Jarem
commits to become other than, determined rather to learn to
“dance with elephants”. We knew his brother too, who is also only
mentioned for “getting the hell out” of his mother’s home while a
teenager at the onslaught of their mom’s dealing with
Huntington’s disease. We never hear any name of his family of origin.
I also knew/knew of Jarem’s establishing himself as a noted advocate for peacemaking, justice
doing, and in particular his embrace and promotion of Restorative Justice. His university
teaching, his books and other writings, are brilliant and wise. Two of his books are offered for
free if one signs up for his mailing list. Highly recommended!
Jarem begins by telling us of course that he knows nothing about dancing or elephants. “And yet,
this is a training manual and love letter for elephant dancers like yourself (p. 7).” “Elephants” of
course are universally the human condition confronting our “big, unacknowledged fears” (p. v7).
We learn immediately of Jarem’s lifelong awareness of Huntington’s disease “lurking
somewhere in the corner (p. 8).” This is an incurable brain disease that “is a kind of combination
of Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, and Schizophrenia (p. 7).”
We learn right away of his family reality: both the possibility of inherited Huntington’s disease,
but also of his dear wife, who insisted on including “in sickness and health” in their vows. They
had identical twin girls, now teenagers, knowing the 50/50 chance of the potential possibility of
his passing on the disease. With his diagnosis of the disease, that possibility became reality.
We are informed of a list of symptoms of the encroaching disease.
While a student in Hull, England, Jarem began in earnest his study and commitment to healing
justice, which has endured. He signals to us that he does not want to pass on anger, fear or
violence to his family. “So I have been experimenting on myself to find a healing way to face
disease (p. 14).”
At 41, he retired from his university professor job. He gave away hundreds of books he had
accumulated, saving only “the handful I thought might be helpful for me in learning the art of
dancing with elephants (pp. 14 & 15).” Zen Buddhist Master Thich Nhat Hanh – known as
“Thay” by his students of whom Jarem was one – has pride of place in books he has kept. Jarem2
writes: “Thay is an author of more than one hundred books. I find his writing and speaking
deeply valuable. It is inspiring but also very concrete and practical. (p. 15).” While Jarem and his
family were at Plum Village, France, where Hanh lives, they learned the five mindfulness
trainings that make up each part of the book. As well as key authors cited for each part are
mentioned. Jarem points to the surfeit of books that teach financial and career success. But
billions need tips for facing disease, dementia, and aging. Jarem works at “the kind of healing
that awakens the heart to love. I call this dancing with elephants because dancing is a playful
way of engaging that which we fear most (p. 17).”
Part I is “Reverence for Life”. There is a beautiful poem by Jarem about first embracing things,
including the hard things, and the need to “Let it rain down on me”, a reprised line throughout.
Next, there is “Replacing Fear with Love”. One tool Jarem mentions for transforming fear into
joyful dancing is the “Corpse Prayer”. He writes, “If in the end all is dust, then now is the time to
enjoy, to play, to love. The fruits of this kind of freedom are countless (p. 31).” Then follows
“Letting Go”. Jarem dispenses a very wise observation: “It is only when we lose something or
have it taken from us, that we realize we feel entitled to it (p. 35).” Wow! His again lovely poem,
“Letting Go”, ends with “On the other side of entitlement lies more joy than sorrow / How do I
get to the other side? (p. 37)” Next comes “Celebrating Everything”. The author tells us then of
the “Movers & Shakers” (Huntington’s is known as the dancing disease) party thrown at the time
of his “retirement”.
We continue in Part I with “Living the Life You’ve Got with Jon Kabat-Zinn”. We read: “From
our perspective, no matter what diagnosis you come with or what’s wrong with you, there is
more right with you than wrong with you – no matter what is ‘wrong with you’.” This from Jon
Kabat-Zinn who has helped thousands at his “Stress Reduction Clinic”. He also founded
“Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)”, an eight-week program used in hospitals
around the world. The key to living healthily, according to Kabat-Zinn, is to “reclaim the present
moment (p. 47).” Jarem comments: “This is one of the great gifts of mindfulness. You can use
the very thing you fear as a tool to replace fear with love. I know he was offering me powerful
medicine (p. 48).” We also learn from Kabat-Zinn: “When all is said and done, all that
mindfulness is, is a radical act of love (p. 49).” And love changes everything!
One may receive “A More Healing Way: Conversations on Disease”, that includes the author’s
interview with Kabat-Zinn. Sign up for Jarem’s Readers Group here to receive it.
Part II is entitled “True Happiness”. We encounter “Live Beauty Awake” as the first chapter.
Jarem lets us know of having been asked by her husband to preach at a dear friend’s funeral.
Drawing on singer Steve Bell’s “Let Beauty Awake”, we are given four lessons from his friend’s
life: The Art of Beholding the Sacred; The Art of Dynamic Loving; The Art of Gardening
Creation Blessed; Let Beauty Awake from Death.
The next is “Embracing Dustness”. Jarem treats us to a simple poem by that title, which last line
is: The lovers of truth embrace
the way of the dust (p. 68)
For Jarem, “The dust is an image of resilience that transcends power and powerlessness (p. 69).”3
Further, “My experience is that embracing dust can teach us a lot about dancing with elephants
and about true happiness (p. 68).” Wow and wow!
The next two chapters discuss mindfulness walking and their new puppy, Kobi. In reflection on
love, Jarem writes poignantly:
Love is weird in that way. It is not like money, which decreases as you use it.
Nor is it like anger, which pushes others away as you use it. Love grows into
more love (p. 78).
In Chapter 11 on an “Ocean of Gratitude”, we read:
To be thrilled, grateful, wonder-filled and curious about life and living. These
are ways of being that are accessible to me (p. 82).
We learn about Dr. Patch Adams who at 18 years “dove into an ocean pf gratitude and has never
found the shore (p. 84).”
There was a famous movie about Dr. Adams starring Robin Williams. Dr. Adams says that “My
spiritual path is loving people (p. 86).”
In response, Jarem poses a couple of questions, then reflects further:
What if the answer to most of our problems is to make others radiant? When
we are not well, so many medical professionals tell us to focus on ourselves.
But what if the key to our own happiness is to care for others?
From Patch, I want to learn the joy of living, the gift of living in gratitude, and
the deep transformations that arise when we care and love those around us.
This book outlines some of my own social experiments in loving, but Patch
dared me to go further, bolder, and freer (pp. 86 & 87).
In Part Three on “True Love” we first read about “Responding to a Disease with a Circle”. In
this chapter, in one paragraph, we learn of the sadness of Jarem’s birth family. I knew his dad off
and on during this phase. I ached for him. I lost touch with his mom. Even at this remove, I ache
for the entire situation in which Jarem passed into his late and post-teen years. From the age of
18, there were 16 years ahead of the fog of Huntington’s earthquake trauma until her death. No
one can imagine this – outside of direct experience.
Jarem wonders:
Which ways of living, what kinds of mindfulness training might equip us to
live in a way that does not dump all the trauma of previous generations onto
the heads of my girls? For me, loving those around me requires that I pursue
that question with everything I can give (p. 93).
He discusses the power of circle peacemaking, highlighting Living Justice Press that is dedicated
to publishing examples of such, and Circles of Support and Accountability (CoSA) that do
exactly as the name indicates, around released sex offenders considered high risk in the
community. (I’ve had the privilege of serving on the CoSA Canada Board the past two years.)4
Jarem highlights the qualities of a circle of six around his family who offer nurture, support, a
collective “bullshitometer”, and even guidance for the family.
Jarem treats us to some of the gems he has already learned about “living life with wisdom (p.
97)”. In hearing from a social worker from the Huntington Society of Canada, they learned how
uniquely gifted they felt from their church group of friends who offer so much. Jarem wishes that
kind of circle on us all. Without a loving community around us, we slowly die.
In the chapter on “Dying and Mourning with Love”, Jarem asks: “How do we unlock the keys to
dying well? (p. 102)” He answers with a reflection on his mother-in-law, who died September
22, 2016.
In the next chapter on “Loving Our Ancestors”, we are introduced to the small Ojibway
community on the shores of Lake Winnipeg: Hollow Water. The film highlighted tremendous
healing of generations in relation to the violence of sexual abuse. The community members
looked back seven generations to help heal and impact healthy living seven generations into the
future.
Jarem also highlights the video Touching the Earth, as part of Plum Village, the community in
France founded by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hahn. Jarem as well describes some of his work in
this regard.
The author also mentions generational blessing as a longstanding unexplored area for most.
The following chapter, “Playing With Children”, highlights the deep joy of children in one’s life.
It also touches on decisions about having children with prospects of passing on a debilitating
disease to them.
Jarem also discusses Lucy Kalanithi, co-author of the bestselling book, When Breath Becomes
Air, under the title “Being Disarmed by Joy”.
He quotes her saying that “holding joy and pain at the same time is a task for a lot of people. It is
a task for all of us, really, at one point or another in our lives (p. 120).”
He cites her again reciting the final words in the book, addressed to his daughter, Elizabeth
Acadia:
“When you come to one of the many moments in life when you must give an
account of yourself, provide a ledger of what you have been, and done, and
meant to the world, do not, I pray, discount that you filled a dying man’s days
with sated joy, a joy unknown to me in all my prior years, a joy that does not
hunger for more and more, but rests, satisfied, in this time, right now, that is an
enormous thing (pp. 121 & 122).”
The chapter ends with a partial quote from Thich Nhat Hahn’s prayer, “Please call me by my true
names”. In it is the wish to “see that my joy and pain are one (p. 124).” Jarem wishes that prayer
for all elephant dancers.5
Part IV: “Loving Speech and Deep Listening” begins with a chapter about Jarem’s refusal to do
battle with his own disease. He writes: “But something in me knew that metaphors of war would
not help my journey of healing (p. 128).” For him, the language of war does not yield to the path
of love. He supplies eight reasons for this. At the end of the fifth reason, he writes: “Battling my
disease is not for me. I put my hope in embracing dustness (p. 132).”
In a chapter entitled “Breathing Anger”, Jarem shares practices he has been experimenting with
for letting go of the toxins of anger.
In discussing noted peacemaking activist/practitioner/author Jean Paul Lederach, Jarem draws
lessons for Lederach’s call to what he dubs the ingestion of “vitamin awe” (p. 160).” Lederach
writes:
Cultivating awe is a form of mindfulness. Awe is there and present in almost
everything around us every day, but we so rarely touch it (p. 161).
Lederach’s wife, Wendy, has battled Parkinson’s for several years. In her emails to Jarem, her
signature line is, “When you stumble, just make it part of the dance (p. 162).”
In Part V on “Nourishment and Healing”, the first chapter is on “Embracing Weakness”, which
for Jarem is developing a one-track mind and tunnel vision. He divulges four secrets to this that
are gems.
There is a whole chapter on “Falling Mindfully”, in relation to his own frequent physical falling
as metaphor for “falling in love”.
In the chapter “Valuing Your Life”, Jarem shares a profound poem he wrote about embracing
dust, entitled “On This Sacred Earth (or Going Home)” – pp. 178 – 180.
In “Eating like a Buddha”, Jarem reflects on “eating” as a metaphor for a life of “reverence,
happiness, love, and nourishment (p. 184).”
In “Developing a Family Health Plan”, Jarem reflects:
I want to enjoy my life. So I need to address these issues from my present
perspective. To me, it is freeing. When fear is not present, there is space and
freedom to explore and to live. We can waste energy wishing we were living
someone else’s life, but the life I have is the only one I can live. I don’t want to
waste it. Nor do I want to harm those around me. I still have living, loving, and
laughing yet to do (pp. 191 & 192).
In “Mandela Gardening”, Jarem discusses Richard Stengel’s Mandela’s Way: Fifteen Lessons on
Life, Love and Courage. We read:
In the midst of death, life! Out of neglect, beauty. Out of misery, happiness.
Out of disregard for life, love. Out of the attempt to crush the spirit, healing
and nourishment. Maybe this is why I kept the book. It shares hard-learned
skills of living beauty awake even in the most difficult of settings. Mandela’s6
gardening was not the hobby of a retired person. Rather, it was a powerful,
mindfulness training ground for one who would become a beacon of love,
courage, and renewal. “You must find your own garden.” These are the words
Mandela speaks to Stengel. These powerful words have never left me (p. 195).
Jarem now sees his writing “as a kind of Mandela Gardening” (p. 196).”, and he challenges
fellow elephant dancers to find theirs too.
The author next deals with “Practicing Self-Compassion with Toni Bernhard”. He mentions three
of her books, and a list of her books even in different translations, is h

[Angela Kalnins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dancing with Elephants: Mindfulness Training For Those Living With Dementia, Chronic Illness or an Aging Brain (How to Die Smiling Book 1)

By Jarem Sawatsky

WOW!

Just…wow!

I am a 52-year-old woman with a history of Dementia in my family. It is a fear, of mine, that I too will come down with this disease. Especially now when I can’t remember the names of my grand-children or the names for kitchen tools or office supplies. (I’m told this is very normal at my age…but still…)

I have read a few, more science-y books on Alzheimer’s and dementia. Some I’ve actually understood. None of them did I enjoy. THIS BOOK, however, Dancing with Elephants was a JOY to read.

Dr. Sawatsky is an incredibly talented writer. His humor and wit are woven all throughout this book in such a way that it never takes away from the seriousness of the topic and yet, you—the reader—are left with a smile on your face and hope in your heart.

He touches on several different subjects, not just dementia. Chronic, terminal illnesses for example. He himself has been diagnosed with Huntington's Disease—a terminal diagnoses in which the brain cells are slowly destroyed stealing away the vestiges of who the bearer is and was. It’s a devastating condition. And yet, Dr. Sawatsky is facing it with dignity, resolve, planning and humor. Through his writing, I have feelings of sorrow for him and his loved ones. Yet, I do not pity. I can only hope to face my own end—whenever it may come—with as much wit and wisdom, temerity and courage.

I do not—at this moment in time—have dementia. I may never get it. Who knows. However, the other facet of this book is the fount of information just on aging in general. This book is filled with passages, stories and information that brought me both joy and comfort along with a great deal of information that I can use and understand.

In addition, Dr. Sawatsky’s spiritual underpinning was a delight to see in his writing. Though his background is in Christianity he also leans toward Buddhism and the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh a Vietnamese monk. (While I personally do not follow Buddhism, and am a very conservative Christian—and all that entails—I am wise enough to know there are wiser men and women than I.) Thich Nhat Hanh’s teachings are of peace among human beings, human rights and giving… Those teachings are both astute and beneficial. Following your heart to the benefit of others as well as yourself is a main theme in Dancing with Elephants, one that touched my own heart and moved me with emotion.

I am not usually a “self-help” kind of reader. Yet, I’m so glad I stepped out of my comfort zone to read this book. It HAS helped me to focus on the things that matter in my life. Not my weaknesses or fears. I am concentrating on the joy in my life. My husband, my kids, my grandkids, parents, siblings and so forth. THEY are what’s important. If I age gracefully…or not so much…it doesn’t matter. If I can find humor and joy, comfort and peace in all my circumstances, that’s what matters.

[Lana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read an advance reader copy, and I've been trying to figure out what to say about it since.

The amount of wisdom contained in this book is unbelievable. Jarem interviewed Jon Kabat-Zinn, Patch Adams, Lucy Kalanthi (wife of Paul Kalanthi who wrote When Breath Becomes Air), Jean Paul Lederach, and Toni Bernhard about living with chronic illness. He comes from a Christian background, but is heavily influenced by the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh. It's a unique spirituality that makes this book just that much more special.

His story of living with Huntington's Disease as a family member (it is genetic) and after he received the diagnosis he had expected to get is not sad or sentimental in any way. You don't feel sorry for him in any way when reading this narrative. He "transformed fear into joyful dancing."

The cover is one of the most fun I've ever seen. I would never have considered dancing with elephants as a way of going through, but Jarem not only makes it seem bearable, but a love-filled joy.

If you need some encouragement in living with joy, read this book. It will change your perspective on everything. Even if you don't have a chronic illness, I recommend this book. It's one that will stay with you and teach you something new with every page.

I love his poetry as well. It enhanced the prose in a way that blessed me.

[Jim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jarem Sawatsky's Dancing with Elephants: Mindfulness Training For Those Living With Dementia, Chronic Illness or an Aging Brain is a grimly fascinating book on how to deal with a fatal disease, in this case Huntington's, which leads to the degeneration of nerve cells in the body. As one who is a recent devotee of mindful meditation, I find this book deals with the use of the same techniques in a truly dire situation.

I cannot help but think that the author is a brave and enlightened man, which makes this an interesting book to read, especially when facing disease or living with someone who is.

[Basilica · Rating 3 out of 5]

I struggled with this book for two reasons:
1. It is highly christocentric, which is not something expected from the description. It focuses heavily on the authors christianity and on finding meaningful relationship with Jesus. The problem is that a mindfulness approach isn’t necessarily related to religion.
2. It struggles to tie more than a couple coping skills and techniques with dementia, chronic illness, and aging. I was really looking for a book that might help me as a home health aide offer coping skills for my clients. Instead I got many anecdotes about the author and his Huntington’s disease- which, while interesting, was not what the book prompted.

While interesting enough to hold me through, the book simply isn’t about what it claims to be about. It is more about a man coping with his Huntington’s disease and how he walks through the world, not on meditating how dementia and aging affects daily life, and how to adjust and accept one’s prognosis.

[Martha · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a hard book to read. It makes you, if you have a chronic or fatal illness, examine how you are living your life. Are you battling your disease, bringing on fear and anxiety? My chronic illness is not fatal, so this was hard to hear as I tend to be a fighter and continue to battle my disease. (Lyme) I really had to take what I could from the book and leave the rest aside. If you are in search on how to live with your illness in a more peaceful, loving, way. This is the book for you.

Someone confusing in the beginning of the book as you begin to wrap your head around the concept, but as the book goes on, it gets easier.

Instead of saying I am battling my disease, If someone asks me how I am doing, I will respond, "I am dancing with my elephant." Let's see how they respond to that.

[Arna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book for carers of those with dementia, chronic illness or an ageing brain. However the principles are also excellent life principles for anyone in sickness or in health.

[Loretta · Rating 4 out of 5]

A way to live compassionately with love. The audio book was very soothing. We are all just temporarily able.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jarem Sawatsky lives with Huntington's Disease, and as someone with decades of experience in peace building, he turned his attention to how he could build peace in himself and his family in the midst of a chronic condition.

His main focus is understanding and adapting the Buddhist concept of mindfulness to how he will live out the rest of his life. On the way, he spends some chapters talking up others he's learned from on the journey, including Jon Kabat-Zinn, Patch Adams, Lucy Kalanithi, John Paul Lederach, and Toni Bernhard.

To me, this book was not about dealing with any particular condition as the title suggests, but rather with life itself. A lot of terrible things have happened to people I love over the past few years, and this book reminded me that there are ways to live fully in the face of the inevitable death and suffering that we all experience.

Caveats:
-Some of it was a little new-agey for me, like the whole idea of "Living Beauty Awake" and "Gardening Creation Blessed." Sounded a little hippy-dippy. Also not a big fan of the corpse prayer--if I'm going to meditate on impermanence, I'd prefer not to do it visualizing my rotting corpse. But maybe that's just me--I've always wanted to be cremated instead.

-It also bugged me that the author represented that belief in Heaven/afterlife is always dangerous and suggested that he knows this because he has a degree in theology. Although I agreed with him that many of our cultural concepts of Heaven are not actually found in Christian scriptures, I felt a little like he was saying no one should believe in Heaven and that such a belief is always bad. I disagree--I think it is bad when the idea of Heaven gives people anxiety, but to me that just means that people need to admit that it's an unknown and not something we can ultimately control. In other words, I think that belief that it definitely doesn't exist is just as much of a false attachment as believing it does, or that you know exactly what it would be like, or that you know some people will be there and some won't. All of those things are forms of arrogance.

Those things said, I got a lot out of most of the book. Living in the moment despite whatever is going on is an important thing to pursue, and I think could make anyone's life better. I especially appreciated the chapter on the uselessness of battle metaphors--"fighting" one's illness, "research will eliminate this disease." Living life with an attitude towards battling the inevitable is stressful. It puts stress on us and on our families. People need to learn the skills of letting go of what we can't control, accepting things, and processing what needs to be processed with others' help. The human condition is terminal, so we need to learn how to live with that.

Other chapters I really enjoyed and thought were important were the ones on creating a circle to support you through tough things, processing and learning from ancestral trauma, and the several chapters on deciding how you are going to think of yourself through difficulties, self-compassion for being imperfect, etc.

If you are open to concepts of Buddhism, especially from well-known monk and author Thich Nhat Hanh, whom Sawatsky admires, you will probably get something out of this book.

[Stephanie Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Hi, I’m Jarem Sawatsky. In a world afraid of dying, not achieving and not succeeding, I reflect on the gift of losing my mind (my friends have always thought I had holes in my head but now my doctors have also confirmed their accusations).

Since being diagnosed with a terminal disease, I’ve been stumbling my way (literally) into finding more healing and joyful ways to live. I am the author/ co-author of 6 books, including the award-winning and national bestselling, Dancing with Elephants.”

Dancing with Elephants is a chronicle of Dr. Sawatsky’s journey of mindfully navigating his decent into Huntington’s disease. The overriding message that I took away from the book is this: you can continue to live while you’re dying. You can enjoy life, however much of it you have left, while carrying the weight of a terminal disease. Though at some point your body will succumb to the symptoms of your illness, you do not have to become the disease itself.

I think the best kind of books are the kind that give you something to think about, the kind that make you reconsider previously held viewpoints, the kind that open your eyes to new ways of living (possibly even while you’re dying). If we break this book down into a basic conceptual outline, we find an underlying theme that is applicable to all aspects living: you can accept/acknowledge the bad things that are or that happen without letting them detract from the good.

Here’s a quote from another author that you all might know that I think helps explain the point that both myself and Dr. Sawatsky are trying to make: “Without pain, how could we know joy?' This is an old argument in the field of thinking about suffering and its stupidity and lack of sophistication could be plumbed for centuries but suffice it to say that the existence of broccoli does not, in any way, affect the taste of chocolate.”― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

Hope can be found when staring down a pit of despair. You can love through unthinkable pain. And you can continue to reach for life, even while knocking on death’s door. That’s how you dance with elephants.

[Marie F · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay, in all honesty, this was not what I was expecting from the subtitle... and if I'd picked it up at a different time in a different mood who knows if I'd have been too annoyed by this to have enjoyed what was presented or not (I suspect I would have and maybe even 2 starred it). But I managed to pick it up at the right time of life, just as one of my own chronic illnesses was flaring and I shortly after getting the news of my grandmother's terminal illness and transition to hospice (which came just a couple of days after the news of my SIL sudden death). I was in a very overwhelmed state and needed the calm of this book. I needed the repetition... I was neutral to the religious (Christian/Mennonite and Buddist) tones and messages even though somewhere in the back of my mind I noted the frequency of their presence... And because I was able to process this more like an autobiography or memoir rather than desiring it to be a productive self-help book, I really found myself able to embrace it as it is instead of overthinking its shortcomings as a self-help book befitting its subtitle.

I think sometimes you can like a book more because of when/how you crossed paths with each other than it might otherwise merit based on what it actually contains and who you are... this was indeed one of those times/books for me. It found in me a soft spot that resonated differently than it might otherwise have. It was annoyingly comforting, like a cat curling up to a sore spot and purring when you actually don't really like cats/aren't a cat person. So yup, this book was like that persistent unwanted cat, forcing my frantic heart towards a calm, but there's something to be cherished about such sneak attack surprises I suppose. I genuinely suspect I might quite like the author were I to meet him, but I just as sincerely suspect I might not like this book were I to read it in another time of life.

[Cariz · Rating 1 out of 5]

No se como calificar este libro...
Desde una burbuja de comodidad y lidiando con una enfermedad supongo que es hasta romántico pensar que todos pueden sobrellevar de manera super pacifica transitar por algo así...
En fin este libro puede resumirse en una experiencia personal del autor pero muy alejado de la realidad de muchos.
Rescato algunas frases de obviedades generales :
" La angustia en si misma es toxica"
" cuando descubres que estas muriendo...una especie de claridad emerge. Es la lucidez de distinguir entre lo que importa y lo que no importa "
"No podemos aprender a reverencia la vida si somos incapaces de acoger en nuestros corazones el hecho de que el sufrimiento existe"
"Compartir las cosas que da la vida-como el alimento-es un modo sagrado de estar juntos"
"Somos todos seres finitos. Todos vamos a morir...morir no requiere esfuerzo. El verdadero reto es vivir"
"El amor es así de extraño....El amor se multiplica y produce más amor"
"Hay dos estados: vivo y muerto...desde el instante en que eres concebido estás muriendo"
" Todos los humanos compartimos: El nacimiento y la muerte"
"La vida no consiste en evitar el sufrimiento"
"No quiero emplear mi limitada energía luchando contra algo. Quiero disfrutar el camino"
"Recibimos estímulos constantemente...esa sobreestimulacion es como un fuerte viento sobre la carne viva.pero la obscuridad y el silencio se han convertido en buenos amigos míos...En esta quietud, hallo mi hogar...sobre todo ello subyace un profundo anhelo de paz"
" La irá es una respuesta justa ante la injusticia"
"La paz no e ausencia de tormenta...La paz no mantiene el invierno a raya"
"Necesitamos una dosis diaria de vitamina del asombro"
"La compasión no es más que el reconocimiento de que estas sufriendo, y luego ser mable contigo"