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How to Be Autistic
An urgent, funny, shocking, and impassioned memoir by the winner of the Spectrum Art Prize 2018, How To Be Autistic by Charlotte Amelia Poe presents the rarely shown point of view of someone living with autism.
Poe’s voice is confident, moving and often funny, as they reveal to us a very personal account of autism, mental illness, gender and sexual identity.
As we follow Charlotte’s journey through school and college, we become as awestruck by their extraordinary passion for life as by the enormous privations that they must undergo to live it. From food and fandom, to body modification and comic conventions, Charlotte’s experiences through the torments of schooldays and young adulthood leave us with a riot of conflicting emotions: horror, empathy, despair, laugh-out-loud amusement and, most of all, respect.
For Charlotte, autism is a fundamental aspect of their identity and art. They address the reader in a voice that is direct, sharply clever and ironic. They witness their own behaviour with a wry humour as they sympathises with those who care for them, yet all the while challenging the neurotypical narratives of autism as something to be ‘fixed’.
‘I wanted to show the side of autism that you don’t find in books and on Facebook. My story is about survival, fear and, finally, hope. There will be parts that make you want to cover your eyes, but I beg you to read on, because if I can change just one person’s perceptions, if I can help one person with autism feel like they’re less alone, then this will all be worth it.’
This is an exuberant, inspiring, life-changing insight into autism from a viewpoint almost entirely missing from public discussion.
Charlotte uses they/them pronouns.
Poe’s voice is confident, moving and often funny, as they reveal to us a very personal account of autism, mental illness, gender and sexual identity.
As we follow Charlotte’s journey through school and college, we become as awestruck by their extraordinary passion for life as by the enormous privations that they must undergo to live it. From food and fandom, to body modification and comic conventions, Charlotte’s experiences through the torments of schooldays and young adulthood leave us with a riot of conflicting emotions: horror, empathy, despair, laugh-out-loud amusement and, most of all, respect.
For Charlotte, autism is a fundamental aspect of their identity and art. They address the reader in a voice that is direct, sharply clever and ironic. They witness their own behaviour with a wry humour as they sympathises with those who care for them, yet all the while challenging the neurotypical narratives of autism as something to be ‘fixed’.
‘I wanted to show the side of autism that you don’t find in books and on Facebook. My story is about survival, fear and, finally, hope. There will be parts that make you want to cover your eyes, but I beg you to read on, because if I can change just one person’s perceptions, if I can help one person with autism feel like they’re less alone, then this will all be worth it.’
This is an exuberant, inspiring, life-changing insight into autism from a viewpoint almost entirely missing from public discussion.
Charlotte uses they/them pronouns.
157 pages, Paperback
First published September 19, 2019
77 people are currently reading
1652 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 140 reviews
April 1, 2021
I read this via Scribd and i'm going to have to get my own copy at some point!
This autobiography of growing up (unknowingly) autistic is amazing. So heartfelt, honest and raw. I related to some of it. It can sometimes be depressing and I cried reading it but it's also full of hope and happiness (just keep reading) and I also kept bouncing (from happiness) while reading it.
I honestly wish everyone would read this, whether you are autistic or not. It's for everyone. You'll either see yourself and/or see another autistic person (since autistic people aren't a monolith) or get to understand autistic people a little better.
Quotes
"there's no bravery without fear, no courage without that awful lump at the back of your throat and the turning of your stomach."
"As an autistic person, we cannot rely on body language or facial expressions the way a neurotypical person would. But we are very in tune with emotions. The problem is an excess, if anything, of empathy. We feel your anger, your pain, your sadness. And then we overload, and don't know how to handle that."
"I choose the title because I thought it was funny. There's no one way to be autistic, there are millions. Every autistic person is their own person with their own identity, and I wanted to get that message across. My experience is my experience. It might not have been yours. But we might have shared some of it."
"It's really dumb, but it's true, living a happy life after trauma really is the biggest fuck you that you can give to the person or people who hurt you."
This autobiography of growing up (unknowingly) autistic is amazing. So heartfelt, honest and raw. I related to some of it. It can sometimes be depressing and I cried reading it but it's also full of hope and happiness (just keep reading) and I also kept bouncing (from happiness) while reading it.
I honestly wish everyone would read this, whether you are autistic or not. It's for everyone. You'll either see yourself and/or see another autistic person (since autistic people aren't a monolith) or get to understand autistic people a little better.
Quotes
"there's no bravery without fear, no courage without that awful lump at the back of your throat and the turning of your stomach."
"As an autistic person, we cannot rely on body language or facial expressions the way a neurotypical person would. But we are very in tune with emotions. The problem is an excess, if anything, of empathy. We feel your anger, your pain, your sadness. And then we overload, and don't know how to handle that."
"I choose the title because I thought it was funny. There's no one way to be autistic, there are millions. Every autistic person is their own person with their own identity, and I wanted to get that message across. My experience is my experience. It might not have been yours. But we might have shared some of it."
"It's really dumb, but it's true, living a happy life after trauma really is the biggest fuck you that you can give to the person or people who hurt you."
February 24, 2020
Everything the author says about autism in this book is factually correct, but the book doesn't express the information about autism in a clear way. However, it would be fine to include in a list of books about autism and written by autistic people: some people might find it helpful. For me, it doesn't really work as a description of being autistic because the author jumps around the topic too much, and it's grasp what they're saying. As well as that, it doesn't work well as a memoir, because the author doesn't seem to have really processed what they're talking about emotionally: they qualify everything they say, and apologise to family members for writing about them in way that makes the work feel immature or uncertain. At times, the writing is so raw I feel protective of the author: "Don't put it out there yet!" I wanted to say. "It's clear you're not ready to talk about this!" Overall, I found reading this made me very uncomfortable, but I had a lot of empathy for the author and everything they have been through. My experience being autistic is very different, but I felt a similar level of pain and hurt.
September 1, 2022
Often Disturbing but Ultimately Uplifting
Review of the Myriad Editions paperback edition (UK Sept 2019/N.Am. Jan. 2020)
Charlotte Amelia Poe won the inaugural Spectrum Art Prize (2018) for their video work How to be Autistic , the text of which is printed as the epigraph for this same-titled memoir.
Now 30-year-old Charlotte was not diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum until they were 21 years old. This was despite a young lifetime of anxiety disorders and social withdrawal which you would have thought would have provided some clues to medical professionals, who instead seem to have only prescribed a cocktail of various tranquilizer medications. The beginnings of the diagnosis came about through their mother's chance discoveries about the spectrum.
The memoir is told in flash backwards and forwards as it is grouped around various topics. Several of these are about the coping mechanisms and hobbies (including body modification and fan-fiction writing) that helped Poe to persevere and work towards becoming a writer, which was always their goal. There are already several zine and poetry collections listed on Goodreads in their name, so this memoir is not actually their first work. Some samples of the poetry are included throughout the memoir. A novel is already finished as well.
I wouldn't categorize myself as being on the spectrum, but rather that I am very OCD and introverted. Those sorts of characteristics did make me score rather high though on one of the older AQ (Autism Quotient) tests that Poe makes reference to in the memoir. This was something* through Wired Magazine from about 20 years ago. That made me feel especially empathetic to this memoir and several aspects and obsessions of Poe's personality. I encourage everyone to read this in order to better understand the world of the Autism Spectrum and indeed that of all spectrums e.g. gender, sexual, social, etc.
Trivia and Links
The Spectrum Art Prize ("Reflecting the creativity, diversity and excellence of artists with autism.") appears to be a biennial award as the 2nd Prize is expected to be announced in early 2020. Follow news about that here.
*You have to score it manually now, but it is still available at https://www.wired.com/2001/12/aqtest/ (I remember coming in at the low 40's out of 50)
Review of the Myriad Editions paperback edition (UK Sept 2019/N.Am. Jan. 2020)
"I chose the title because I thought it was funny. There's no one way to be autistic, there are millions. Every autistic person is their own person with their own identity, and I wanted to get that message across. My experience is my experience. It might not have been yours. But we might have shared some of it." - excerpt from pg. 127 of How to be Autistic
Charlotte Amelia Poe won the inaugural Spectrum Art Prize (2018) for their video work How to be Autistic , the text of which is printed as the epigraph for this same-titled memoir.
Now 30-year-old Charlotte was not diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum until they were 21 years old. This was despite a young lifetime of anxiety disorders and social withdrawal which you would have thought would have provided some clues to medical professionals, who instead seem to have only prescribed a cocktail of various tranquilizer medications. The beginnings of the diagnosis came about through their mother's chance discoveries about the spectrum.
The memoir is told in flash backwards and forwards as it is grouped around various topics. Several of these are about the coping mechanisms and hobbies (including body modification and fan-fiction writing) that helped Poe to persevere and work towards becoming a writer, which was always their goal. There are already several zine and poetry collections listed on Goodreads in their name, so this memoir is not actually their first work. Some samples of the poetry are included throughout the memoir. A novel is already finished as well.
I wouldn't categorize myself as being on the spectrum, but rather that I am very OCD and introverted. Those sorts of characteristics did make me score rather high though on one of the older AQ (Autism Quotient) tests that Poe makes reference to in the memoir. This was something* through Wired Magazine from about 20 years ago. That made me feel especially empathetic to this memoir and several aspects and obsessions of Poe's personality. I encourage everyone to read this in order to better understand the world of the Autism Spectrum and indeed that of all spectrums e.g. gender, sexual, social, etc.
Trivia and Links
The Spectrum Art Prize ("Reflecting the creativity, diversity and excellence of artists with autism.") appears to be a biennial award as the 2nd Prize is expected to be announced in early 2020. Follow news about that here.
*You have to score it manually now, but it is still available at https://www.wired.com/2001/12/aqtest/ (I remember coming in at the low 40's out of 50)
December 20, 2021
2.5/5 Stars
There were a lot of good things about this book, and some really relatable parts to it, as an autistic person myself - including the wonderful poem at the start of the book - but there was so much of it that just didn't feel like it fit. All the details about the author vomiting, for example. It's definitely an okay read, but not one that I think I will revisit.
Want more queer books? You can find me here: Book Blog | Twitter | Instagram
There were a lot of good things about this book, and some really relatable parts to it, as an autistic person myself - including the wonderful poem at the start of the book - but there was so much of it that just didn't feel like it fit. All the details about the author vomiting, for example. It's definitely an okay read, but not one that I think I will revisit.
Want more queer books? You can find me here: Book Blog | Twitter | Instagram
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April 10, 2021I really don’t know how I feel about this one. I definitely appreciated certain essays/chapters a LOT, and there were some solid gold quotes, but overall it felt very disjointed. Not going to give a star rating at this point because I rarely read non-fiction and don’t feel like I can objectively rate it.
Here are some quotes I loved, though:
• “People are aware of autism in the same way they’re aware of house fires: both are scary things that happen to other people.”
• “A trip from A to B for a neurotypical is a trip through the entire alphabet for an autistic person, at random.”
• “nobody will ever tell you what is wrong with you, just that you are wrong, and that what you do and say is wrong. you will look at the world and you will see everybody else and find yourself lacking, and not know why. you will cling to the edges of tables and shift in your seat as you try not to pass out as another wave of panic crashes through you”
• “Truth is, there are a lot of ‘I did it’ moments, but they get drowned out by the ‘I didn’t do it’ moments. Humans are bias machines, and we are especially influenced by negatives. We want to believe the worst about ourselves and will pick those scraps up throughout the day and piece them together until we have something that we can look at and say, ‘look, aren’t I terrible’, even if everyone else says otherwise.”
• “So next time you’re upset and an autistic person isn’t behaving the way you want them to, don’t think of them as uncaring. Realise instead that they’re trying to figure out how best to make you feel better, as quickly as possible.”
• “Expressing myself online became second nature, and while I always had a habit of oversharing, it meant I was able to talk about things I couldn’t talk about to anybody else. Even though I was shouting into the void (these were the days of Ask Jeeves, after all, so search engine optimization terms weren’t exactly a thing) it felt meaningful. It sparked a love affair with the internet that I have never lost. For better or worse, I’d found a sanctuary, a home. The internet helped me feel less alone.” - THIS ONE WAS SO RELATABLE AND EXACTLY ME
There were lots more quotes I loved but I’ll leave it at that for now. It’s a quick read, so I recommend giving it a go if it seems interesting to you, especially my fellow autistics! There really is a lot of excellent stuff in this book, it’s just not consistent throughout, which isn’t actually a big deal for a less than 200 page book.
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Here are some quotes I loved, though:
• “People are aware of autism in the same way they’re aware of house fires: both are scary things that happen to other people.”
• “A trip from A to B for a neurotypical is a trip through the entire alphabet for an autistic person, at random.”
• “nobody will ever tell you what is wrong with you, just that you are wrong, and that what you do and say is wrong. you will look at the world and you will see everybody else and find yourself lacking, and not know why. you will cling to the edges of tables and shift in your seat as you try not to pass out as another wave of panic crashes through you”
• “Truth is, there are a lot of ‘I did it’ moments, but they get drowned out by the ‘I didn’t do it’ moments. Humans are bias machines, and we are especially influenced by negatives. We want to believe the worst about ourselves and will pick those scraps up throughout the day and piece them together until we have something that we can look at and say, ‘look, aren’t I terrible’, even if everyone else says otherwise.”
• “So next time you’re upset and an autistic person isn’t behaving the way you want them to, don’t think of them as uncaring. Realise instead that they’re trying to figure out how best to make you feel better, as quickly as possible.”
• “Expressing myself online became second nature, and while I always had a habit of oversharing, it meant I was able to talk about things I couldn’t talk about to anybody else. Even though I was shouting into the void (these were the days of Ask Jeeves, after all, so search engine optimization terms weren’t exactly a thing) it felt meaningful. It sparked a love affair with the internet that I have never lost. For better or worse, I’d found a sanctuary, a home. The internet helped me feel less alone.” - THIS ONE WAS SO RELATABLE AND EXACTLY ME
There were lots more quotes I loved but I’ll leave it at that for now. It’s a quick read, so I recommend giving it a go if it seems interesting to you, especially my fellow autistics! There really is a lot of excellent stuff in this book, it’s just not consistent throughout, which isn’t actually a big deal for a less than 200 page book.
Bookstagram | Booktube | Booktok | Book Blog | Twitter
October 12, 2019
I found this a rather empty book. Kind if like reading a teen MySpace blog entry. It doesn't really express much in the way of what autism is. It is more than anxiety and I feel this book could have done much more to explain that.
October 7, 2019
I was searching for more primary sources on autism and stumbled upon this little book (didn't read any reviews, just dove right in). As much as I appreciate the efforts of the author in creating this piece (and the video that helped them win an award and motivate them to write this), it's still too unstructured for me.
It's a memoir of a relatively short life (the author just a couple of years older than me) and a whole decade is completely skipped (so we don't learn anything about the years of self-discovery and becoming an adult and all the important things that happen after the end of adolescence).
On the other hand, how often do we get a chance to read about the miserable lives of undiagnosed fellow autistic people? Not often, surely. I wish there had been more details about the dichotomy between the behavior of neurotypicals and the behavior of the author (as I'm sure there was a pretty big gap there, just like in my own case). I wish we had also seen a glimpse of the good things, the nice stuff, more on the discovery of "special interests" and the journeys that they surely initiated.
Maybe there will be a second, revised edition, where the chapters stop jumping around randomly in time (this jumping around in time may work for novels, but only for a few chapters and even then just in special cases) and where the author will go into more detail into their experiences as an autistic person in a world build for neurotypicals.
I do appreciate the encouragement at the end. I may even give this a go, writing down what it was like for me to grow up in a world that hadn't heard of autism (or that girls could be autistic) and didn't have even the little psychological support that folks in the UK take for granted.
It's a memoir of a relatively short life (the author just a couple of years older than me) and a whole decade is completely skipped (so we don't learn anything about the years of self-discovery and becoming an adult and all the important things that happen after the end of adolescence).
On the other hand, how often do we get a chance to read about the miserable lives of undiagnosed fellow autistic people? Not often, surely. I wish there had been more details about the dichotomy between the behavior of neurotypicals and the behavior of the author (as I'm sure there was a pretty big gap there, just like in my own case). I wish we had also seen a glimpse of the good things, the nice stuff, more on the discovery of "special interests" and the journeys that they surely initiated.
Maybe there will be a second, revised edition, where the chapters stop jumping around randomly in time (this jumping around in time may work for novels, but only for a few chapters and even then just in special cases) and where the author will go into more detail into their experiences as an autistic person in a world build for neurotypicals.
I do appreciate the encouragement at the end. I may even give this a go, writing down what it was like for me to grow up in a world that hadn't heard of autism (or that girls could be autistic) and didn't have even the little psychological support that folks in the UK take for granted.
July 24, 2021
Read on Scribd!
How To Be Autistic is one of the hardest books I think I've ever had the opportunity of reading. I knew that many of the topics included and discussions happening would not be easy to digest and could trigger my anxiety off a little. Even though I was shaking at the end, this is the furthest from unenjoyable. If anything, Charlotte's writing style came across as expressive, honest, and sincere. It was everything that I could have experienced and did. Sadly, the stigmas for autism still exist today and as a woman with ASD as well, some of the events that did happen to Charlotte also happened to me (discrimination, ableism etc) so getting the emotions out in writing is never a relaxing time. Looking forward to getting a copy soon!
L I N K S:
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Ko-Fi-https://ko-fi.com/alicemtb44
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How To Be Autistic is one of the hardest books I think I've ever had the opportunity of reading. I knew that many of the topics included and discussions happening would not be easy to digest and could trigger my anxiety off a little. Even though I was shaking at the end, this is the furthest from unenjoyable. If anything, Charlotte's writing style came across as expressive, honest, and sincere. It was everything that I could have experienced and did. Sadly, the stigmas for autism still exist today and as a woman with ASD as well, some of the events that did happen to Charlotte also happened to me (discrimination, ableism etc) so getting the emotions out in writing is never a relaxing time. Looking forward to getting a copy soon!
L I N K S:
My Wishlist-https://www.amazon.co.uk/hz/wishlist/...
Twitter- www.Twitter.com/AllyBookKnot
Ko-Fi-https://ko-fi.com/alicemtb44
Affiliate Link for Waterstones-http://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmi...
Affiliate Link for Book Depository-https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinm...
Affiliate Link for Blackwells UK-https://www.blackwells.co.uk/?a_aid=A...
November 12, 2019
This book is beautiful. It means so much to me and I think I’m really going to struggle to put my thoughts into words.
So firstly, I hardly ever read non-fiction so this was a little bit out of my comfort zone but Charlotte’s writing style is so raw and true and flows so well that I absolutely raced through this.
I’m currently 19 years old and I’m on a 2 year waiting list for an Asperger’s diagnosis. I’ve showed symptoms of Autism as well as having anxiety my whole life and yet I’ve only recently been referred for this diagnosis. All of the signs were there but it felt like my GP and psychologists as a child just didn’t spot it. Charlotte’s situation was very similar and also wasn’t diagnosed until adulthood.
Anyway, I don’t just want to go on about myself but I think it’s important to know the background to help you understand why this book is so important to me. Autism is so underrepresented, so to read a book written by someone with autism who has experienced so many of things I’m going through is such a comfort.
Charlotte’s story is one that needs to be read by everyone. Not enough people know about the daily struggles people on the spectrum face and there are so many untrue stereotypes out there that this book quashes spectacularly.
This book is a true eye opener and I’m in awe of the way Charlotte has put so many emotions and experiences into words. I could never tell my own story so eloquently so I’m going to be giving this book to everyone in my family to read. Even if you have never been affected by autism, you still need to read this book. We need people to understand what we deal with and we need real societal change when it comes to autism. That’s only going to happen if we talk about it more and get the word out there.
Charlotte, you’re an absolute inspiration and I’m so grateful to you for writing this book. It will always have a special place in my heart.
5 stars🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Thank you to Myriad Editions for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
So firstly, I hardly ever read non-fiction so this was a little bit out of my comfort zone but Charlotte’s writing style is so raw and true and flows so well that I absolutely raced through this.
I’m currently 19 years old and I’m on a 2 year waiting list for an Asperger’s diagnosis. I’ve showed symptoms of Autism as well as having anxiety my whole life and yet I’ve only recently been referred for this diagnosis. All of the signs were there but it felt like my GP and psychologists as a child just didn’t spot it. Charlotte’s situation was very similar and also wasn’t diagnosed until adulthood.
Anyway, I don’t just want to go on about myself but I think it’s important to know the background to help you understand why this book is so important to me. Autism is so underrepresented, so to read a book written by someone with autism who has experienced so many of things I’m going through is such a comfort.
Charlotte’s story is one that needs to be read by everyone. Not enough people know about the daily struggles people on the spectrum face and there are so many untrue stereotypes out there that this book quashes spectacularly.
This book is a true eye opener and I’m in awe of the way Charlotte has put so many emotions and experiences into words. I could never tell my own story so eloquently so I’m going to be giving this book to everyone in my family to read. Even if you have never been affected by autism, you still need to read this book. We need people to understand what we deal with and we need real societal change when it comes to autism. That’s only going to happen if we talk about it more and get the word out there.
Charlotte, you’re an absolute inspiration and I’m so grateful to you for writing this book. It will always have a special place in my heart.
5 stars🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Thank you to Myriad Editions for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
January 15, 2022
I’m not really quite sure where to begin. I loved being able to see life through the eyes of Charolette, their voice, and what it means to be autistic. Having an immediate family member being fairly recently diagnosed with autism, reading this is the start of my journey to have a better relationship and outlook of autism. And although—as a neurotypical myself—I will never truly understand the brain of someone who has autism, they touched on and explained other mental illnesses that I can certainly relate to. Overall, it was very touching and I truly wish I can use this book to help aid me in my endeavors to strengthen my relationships with my autistic family members.
September 23, 2022
2.5 stars
I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, I think it's great that books like this exist. However, the structure of the book felt more like a series of blog posts/diary entries than an actual book. It wasn't clear enough about what autism actually is. I came to this with a lot of prior knowledge, but if you didn't have that, I don't really think you'd get a lot out of it in terms of what autism actually is.
My main issue was the writing style which I found to be rather immature. The constant repetition was infuriating. There are only so many times I can read the same phrases - "I'll talk more about this in later chapters", "More on this later", or "I'll come back to this in a bit" etc etc. Again and again and again. OKAY, I get it!!!! It was honestly baffling to me that the author felt the need to repeat this so many times.
There were, of course, good aspects to this book and some relatable parts and it's eye-opening for me to read and learn more about the spectrum as a whole to reiterate that not all autistic people think/feel or act the same way.
I respect the author for writing about these tough experiences but I just didn't get what I was hoping for from this book.
I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, I think it's great that books like this exist. However, the structure of the book felt more like a series of blog posts/diary entries than an actual book. It wasn't clear enough about what autism actually is. I came to this with a lot of prior knowledge, but if you didn't have that, I don't really think you'd get a lot out of it in terms of what autism actually is.
My main issue was the writing style which I found to be rather immature. The constant repetition was infuriating. There are only so many times I can read the same phrases - "I'll talk more about this in later chapters", "More on this later", or "I'll come back to this in a bit" etc etc. Again and again and again. OKAY, I get it!!!! It was honestly baffling to me that the author felt the need to repeat this so many times.
There were, of course, good aspects to this book and some relatable parts and it's eye-opening for me to read and learn more about the spectrum as a whole to reiterate that not all autistic people think/feel or act the same way.
I respect the author for writing about these tough experiences but I just didn't get what I was hoping for from this book.
June 7, 2022
"We, as a society, like to compare pains and mental anguishes as though one can somehow trump another. But your pain is your pain, and if it is hurting you, then it matters. Don’t compare yourself to somebody else, just compare yourself to yourself. Day to day, hour to hour. If you feel like you’re at risk, tell someone. If you feel slightly better, count it as a win. I know it’s a cliché and oft repeated, but it really does get better."
140 odd pages and yet I had to read this between two weeks. It's such an important but extremely difficult book to read. Charlotte is non-binary, queer, bisexual and autistic and this is their story.
I've read more literary memoirs but nothing as simple and Hard-hitting. We learn as we read and grow.
Easily one of my best recent finds.
4.5/5
P.S. Thank you Dear Chelsea podcast for this wonderful recommendation!
140 odd pages and yet I had to read this between two weeks. It's such an important but extremely difficult book to read. Charlotte is non-binary, queer, bisexual and autistic and this is their story.
I've read more literary memoirs but nothing as simple and Hard-hitting. We learn as we read and grow.
Easily one of my best recent finds.
4.5/5
P.S. Thank you Dear Chelsea podcast for this wonderful recommendation!
July 27, 2020
5 Stars
This memoir was beautiful. Charlotte Amelia Poe managed to make me laugh, cry, and taught me so much more about what it means to be an autistic person. They have clearly had great difficulties in their life because they were never diagnosed at a young age or understood; the trauma and pain of school that they described made me angry and made my heart ache. Having said that Poe was clear to state that there have been moments of joy and hope which balanced out the heavy parts of this memoir.
I really liked the structure of this book as the chapters were split into short chapters that covered specific time periods and events in Poe's life. I always enjoy short chapters as it feels easier to dip in and out of a book. These chapters were intersected with short poems and short stories that further expressed Poe's feelings on various subjects which I really liked.
Not only does Poe talk about being autistic, but they also talk about their own gender and sexuality. They talk about the misconceptions that surround autistic people and sexuality, and how they are often infantalized through shows such as the Undateables. They talk about the difficulties of mental health, the failings of the support systems and healthcare for those with mental health needs.
This is a multifaceted memoir that gave me a lot to think about and made me question my own preconceptions about autism and my own biases as a neurotypical woman. I really enjoyed reading this memoir and would recommend it to everyone.
"I know rallying autistic people is like herding cats, we're all so unique, but that's what makes us amazing, we have an entire spectrum to draw from and each of us had a different voice."
This memoir was beautiful. Charlotte Amelia Poe managed to make me laugh, cry, and taught me so much more about what it means to be an autistic person. They have clearly had great difficulties in their life because they were never diagnosed at a young age or understood; the trauma and pain of school that they described made me angry and made my heart ache. Having said that Poe was clear to state that there have been moments of joy and hope which balanced out the heavy parts of this memoir.
I really liked the structure of this book as the chapters were split into short chapters that covered specific time periods and events in Poe's life. I always enjoy short chapters as it feels easier to dip in and out of a book. These chapters were intersected with short poems and short stories that further expressed Poe's feelings on various subjects which I really liked.
Not only does Poe talk about being autistic, but they also talk about their own gender and sexuality. They talk about the misconceptions that surround autistic people and sexuality, and how they are often infantalized through shows such as the Undateables. They talk about the difficulties of mental health, the failings of the support systems and healthcare for those with mental health needs.
This is a multifaceted memoir that gave me a lot to think about and made me question my own preconceptions about autism and my own biases as a neurotypical woman. I really enjoyed reading this memoir and would recommend it to everyone.
April 3, 2020
“We are exploded planets and we are all miracles. We have no way of knowing how many times a black hole has had to explode before we came along, before the stars aligned just right for us to exist.”
First and foremost, How to be Autistic is a memoir about the childhood and further experiences of somebody with autism, but it’s also a breathtakingly honest exploration of sexuality, gender, identity and mental health. It is hard hitting stories from school, interlaced with thought provoking poetry.
As a neurotypical person seeking out an own-voices perspective, I really appreciated the metaphors Charlotte used to describe the differences in the way we perceive the world, and correct common misconceptions exacerbated by tv and other forms of media. I also loved their sense of humour that offered some relief and the ending was uplifting whilst remaining real.
This is such an important book for anyone to read; for neurotypical people to gain a better understanding of how we can do better in the future, and for other people on the autism spectrum to gain comfort in the knowledge that there are other people out there experiencing similar things. This is the sort of book that leaves you just that bit kinder than when you started.
Thank you to Myriad Editions for sending me this copy to take part in the read along and review.
First and foremost, How to be Autistic is a memoir about the childhood and further experiences of somebody with autism, but it’s also a breathtakingly honest exploration of sexuality, gender, identity and mental health. It is hard hitting stories from school, interlaced with thought provoking poetry.
As a neurotypical person seeking out an own-voices perspective, I really appreciated the metaphors Charlotte used to describe the differences in the way we perceive the world, and correct common misconceptions exacerbated by tv and other forms of media. I also loved their sense of humour that offered some relief and the ending was uplifting whilst remaining real.
This is such an important book for anyone to read; for neurotypical people to gain a better understanding of how we can do better in the future, and for other people on the autism spectrum to gain comfort in the knowledge that there are other people out there experiencing similar things. This is the sort of book that leaves you just that bit kinder than when you started.
Thank you to Myriad Editions for sending me this copy to take part in the read along and review.
September 24, 2019
I read this book in pretty much one sitting. It’s so damn powerful, and I don’t think words I write here could do it justice in any way. What I can say is this: I genuinely feel privileged to have been allowed inside Charlotte’s world and brain. I guarantee that anyone who reads this will not come out unchanged. Thank you, cosmic human, for surviving, for writing this book, and look, here you are, absolutely bloody thriving ✨ if you haven’t already, R E A D this book 📖
September 14, 2019
This is like The Bell Jar for autism. How to stand in someone else’s shoes and understand how they see and relate to the world. I applaud Charlotte for her honesty and openness- for baring herself to us. An important read that should go a long way towards promoting compassion and understanding. Why on Earth the Autism Quotient test isn’t used, I really don’t know
January 5, 2021
Mixed feelings about this one... On one hand, I think it's great books like this (about autism, by autistic people) exist, and this was an enjoyable read. Also, props to the author for having the guts to put this very personal work out there for us all to see. I really enjoyed the chapters on the author's special interests too (e.g. body modification and fan fiction). But... the structure and depth of the book felt more like a series of blog posts than an actual book (which made it easy to read, but ultimately unsatisfying) and wasn't clear enough about what autism actually is (I came to this with a lot of prior knowledge, but if you didn't have that, I don't think you'd have learnt a huge amount). Finally, in keeping with the blog-like feel, I found the writing style rather immature at times - two specific examples being apologies to family members for writing about them/events that may upset them, and the frequent "jokes" or other comments about being "so old". Charlotte is in their early 30s. Yes, no longer a teenager, but hardly pension age.
ETA I also *really* wasn't into the ~creative writing~ bits in italics within the book. But I'll admit that's just not my cup of tea in terms of reading material anyway - maybe it's yours and you'll love them!
ETA I also *really* wasn't into the ~creative writing~ bits in italics within the book. But I'll admit that's just not my cup of tea in terms of reading material anyway - maybe it's yours and you'll love them!
November 2, 2022
This was a really interesting read, only because I could relate to so much of her experiences. They’re very similar to my experiences of school, anxiety, bullying by both students and teachers alike. But as others have said, this book seems to be more like a bunch of blog entries rather than a memoire. Or biography of sorts. It feels like she collected a few blog posts from her blog and just put them together in a book. Because in parts she talks to the reader or to family members on the page, as though she’s verbally having a conversation in some parts. Again like others have said, it feels like a book on anxiety rather than autism. There’s barely much in there that talks about the traits and her experiences of autism. It’s more her experiences with sever anxiety, and spending most of her childhood and growing up being sick on a regular basis. But there were small bits that did reflect parts of her autism, like the stuff about handwriting, and eating struggles, but not much else really. It was more on being sick more than anything.
One thing did annoy me a little though is when she compares being blind/visually impaired to autism suggesting visually impaired people don’t get the same stigma as autistic people and uses employment as an example. There are as many unemployed blind and visually impaired people as there are autistic people. They are discriminated for the list of things she said, like not being able to drive, use technology without accessible software and for not being able to see in general. I know she did then turn it around to talk about being short sighted, but that’s not really a disability as such because short sightedness can be fixed with glasses. But disability can’t be fixed with just glasses, there are many visually impaired people who wear glasses who’s sight isn’t fixed by glasses. These are the ones who are classed as having a disability, and they are the ones facing stigma when employment is concerned and in other areas in general too.
One thing did annoy me a little though is when she compares being blind/visually impaired to autism suggesting visually impaired people don’t get the same stigma as autistic people and uses employment as an example. There are as many unemployed blind and visually impaired people as there are autistic people. They are discriminated for the list of things she said, like not being able to drive, use technology without accessible software and for not being able to see in general. I know she did then turn it around to talk about being short sighted, but that’s not really a disability as such because short sightedness can be fixed with glasses. But disability can’t be fixed with just glasses, there are many visually impaired people who wear glasses who’s sight isn’t fixed by glasses. These are the ones who are classed as having a disability, and they are the ones facing stigma when employment is concerned and in other areas in general too.
April 24, 2022
“By birth, we were handed a rather poor hand. But by continuing to fight, every damn day, in a world that is not ours and is not shaped to handle us, we show how strong we are, and every second we’re breathing is in utter defiance of everyone who ever told us we were wrong. Please don’t give up.” - Charlotte Amelia Poe
In conjunction with the #autismacceptancemonth , reading a book narrated by an autistic author makes me feel closer and have better understanding about what autism is.
I would say that this book is an eye-opener for all neurotypical people to learn from autistic people.
How To Be Autistic telling the reader about the life of Amelia, wasn’t being diagnosed as Aspengers until she was twenty-one. She went to meet different counts of psychiatrists and psychologists from 1997-2005 but the diagnosis was depression and social anxiety. This happened because there is always a common misconception that autistic people must be someone that is illiterate, hyperactive, feel no empathy, making less eye contact and etc. Actually there are many different types of autism spectrum disorders which show varies in symptoms that we need to alert.
Autism is not only about being less sensitive with emotions, less eye contact, being isolated from people, agoraphobia, feeling overwhelmed with surroundings, boring routine in life, hating changes, same menu for food in life, and heavily medicated with diazepam to be relaxed. But autism is a spectrum disorder that we need to celebrate with together, holding hands in hands to be with them because they are Different Not Less
In conjunction with the #autismacceptancemonth , reading a book narrated by an autistic author makes me feel closer and have better understanding about what autism is.
I would say that this book is an eye-opener for all neurotypical people to learn from autistic people.
How To Be Autistic telling the reader about the life of Amelia, wasn’t being diagnosed as Aspengers until she was twenty-one. She went to meet different counts of psychiatrists and psychologists from 1997-2005 but the diagnosis was depression and social anxiety. This happened because there is always a common misconception that autistic people must be someone that is illiterate, hyperactive, feel no empathy, making less eye contact and etc. Actually there are many different types of autism spectrum disorders which show varies in symptoms that we need to alert.
Autism is not only about being less sensitive with emotions, less eye contact, being isolated from people, agoraphobia, feeling overwhelmed with surroundings, boring routine in life, hating changes, same menu for food in life, and heavily medicated with diazepam to be relaxed. But autism is a spectrum disorder that we need to celebrate with together, holding hands in hands to be with them because they are Different Not Less
July 18, 2023
I really enjoyed this and read it in one sitting (in the small hours of the morning thanks to insomnia). I struggle to understand why it has received many unfavourable reviews.
I love the frankness with which Charlotte Amelia Poe writes and found it utterly refreshing (perhaps because it is exhausting trying to navigate the over ‘fluffed’ intricacy of neurotypical language - I am also autistic if you hadn’t guessed). Poe says what they mean and means what they say and I adore this.
The book is short, snappy and to the point, sharing Poe’s journey as an undiagnosed autistic person, how that affected them and how they made art from it.
I saw myself in so many pages of this book: particularly the hauntingly familiar being-sick-at-school-and-refusing-to-eat-my-lunch-with-other-kids.
I also did not see myself in many parts of Poe’s story, and that is the beauty of being autistic. We are all unique and yet our experience of surviving in a world not made for us is still so valid.
I love the frankness with which Charlotte Amelia Poe writes and found it utterly refreshing (perhaps because it is exhausting trying to navigate the over ‘fluffed’ intricacy of neurotypical language - I am also autistic if you hadn’t guessed). Poe says what they mean and means what they say and I adore this.
The book is short, snappy and to the point, sharing Poe’s journey as an undiagnosed autistic person, how that affected them and how they made art from it.
I saw myself in so many pages of this book: particularly the hauntingly familiar being-sick-at-school-and-refusing-to-eat-my-lunch-with-other-kids.
I also did not see myself in many parts of Poe’s story, and that is the beauty of being autistic. We are all unique and yet our experience of surviving in a world not made for us is still so valid.
February 4, 2024
Early on in the book she refers to an "autism quotient test". It takes 10 minutes to take and she invites you to google it and try it. It asks you 50 questions, the authors cited a score of 32 or more as indicating "clinically significant levels of autistic traits". I scored 35. I read this book as my wife had suggested for some time that I might be autistic. I have been visiting my doctor regularly for some time because of anxiety and depression, but there's been no mention of autism. I will be 65 soon and I can look back on my life and share a lot of the experiences the author had, but without any of the support. I am so grateful to her for sharing her experiences and the difficulties she went through. Hopefully if I mention autism to my doctor when I see her next, it might suggest new treatments other than anti-depressants. Thank you Charlotte.
August 14, 2022
A short lovely memoir about the author's experience living with autism.
Much of it is very raw and honest, and Poe is not afraid to tackle difficult topics (such as bullying and mental health). Some parts may be a little triggering, so should be approached with caution.
I loved the chapters on gender/sexuality (about the author's identities of being asexual and nonbinary), and fandom/fanfiction
Personally I didn't like the first half as much (all the chapters related to school), I thought it could have been written a bit more smoothly and some parts felt slightly repetitive.
But overall there were a lot of great quotes and passages -- Poe also includes a smattering of poetry, which was very nice, and provides a lot of realistic hope.
Much of it is very raw and honest, and Poe is not afraid to tackle difficult topics (such as bullying and mental health). Some parts may be a little triggering, so should be approached with caution.
I loved the chapters on gender/sexuality (about the author's identities of being asexual and nonbinary), and fandom/fanfiction
Personally I didn't like the first half as much (all the chapters related to school), I thought it could have been written a bit more smoothly and some parts felt slightly repetitive.
But overall there were a lot of great quotes and passages -- Poe also includes a smattering of poetry, which was very nice, and provides a lot of realistic hope.
February 21, 2022
I really appreciate Charlotte sharing their experience as a person with autism in this book. Many times autism feels generalized and left to the experience of children with autism, but to me, feels like an untouched issue that many more deal with. This is a great, relatively short read for those hoping to learn more about people’s (especially adult’s) individual experiences with autism. I loved Charlotte’s conversational writing and tone, and the stories they shared throughout the book. Highly recommend!
February 21, 2023
this book was so truthful about the hardship afab people have when having autism. i loved this book as it made me feel seen and aware about the diagnosis system and how unfair it is (as someone who has been on the waiting list for a year+)
We struggle every day. We’re made to feel like burdens. We’re put into homes. We’re put on waiting lists. We’re bullied and mocked and laughed at by the media. “We are worth more than this. We are human beings. Our skills are valuable. Our ways of thinking are valuable. Just give us room to breathe and a few accommodations and watch us go.”
We struggle every day. We’re made to feel like burdens. We’re put into homes. We’re put on waiting lists. We’re bullied and mocked and laughed at by the media. “We are worth more than this. We are human beings. Our skills are valuable. Our ways of thinking are valuable. Just give us room to breathe and a few accommodations and watch us go.”
December 10, 2024
This is such a well written and necessary insight into Charlotte Amelia Poe’s life. I spent a lot of the book in disbelief and anger that they weren’t being supported in all the ways they should have been but I also spent a lot of the book thinking about my own life. It struck me whilst reading, that a lot of autistic people have the same experiences when it comes to places of education and societal interaction.
Some quotes I particularly enjoyed:
‘after all, you are fucking cosmic’
and
‘a book is an object, it is only when it is opened and read that it becomes real’
Some quotes I particularly enjoyed:
‘after all, you are fucking cosmic’
and
‘a book is an object, it is only when it is opened and read that it becomes real’
January 14, 2021
A painful but honest account of a young woman living with undiagnosed autism. I read it quickly from behind my fingers, pained on her behalf at her stories of struggling through a school system that refused to understand her.
‘I wanted to show the side of autism that you don’t find in books and on Facebook. My story is about survival, fear and, finally, hope. There will be parts that make you want to cover your eyes, but I beg you to read on, because if I can change just one person’s perceptions, if I can help one person with autism feel like they’re less alone, then this will all be worth it.’
The chapters are interspersed with poetry, which I enjoyed more than I expected. An uncomfortable read, but one I'm glad I finished.
‘I wanted to show the side of autism that you don’t find in books and on Facebook. My story is about survival, fear and, finally, hope. There will be parts that make you want to cover your eyes, but I beg you to read on, because if I can change just one person’s perceptions, if I can help one person with autism feel like they’re less alone, then this will all be worth it.’
The chapters are interspersed with poetry, which I enjoyed more than I expected. An uncomfortable read, but one I'm glad I finished.
September 11, 2023
"There's no one way to be autistic, there are millions. Every autistic person is their own person with their own identity, and I wanted to get that message across."
It started out so powerful but was underwhelming in parts, definitely a great read along with Odd Girl Out by Laura James
It started out so powerful but was underwhelming in parts, definitely a great read along with Odd Girl Out by Laura James
May 23, 2020
Very interesting read. A good insight into what living with autism is really like and the daily struggles. A subject close to my heart so was interestong to read from an autistic perspective
January 24, 2021
Интересен, макар и кратък, мемоар на момиче с аутизъм. Хареса ми да погледна през нечии чужди очи света и да видя как всъщност е устроен за хора без проблеми, недъзи или заболявания. Има още доста да поработим.
June 2, 2021
I really appreciated actually being able to read a book about autism by a person with ASD who also has a reasonable amount of support needs. I know some people didn’t like the tone of the book but honestly I think it deserves to be read
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