The Madwoman and the Roomba: My Year of Domestic Mayhem

by Sandra Tsing Loh

Ah, 55. Gateway to the golden years! Professional summiting. Emotional maturity. Easy surfing toward the glassy blue waters of retirement…Or maybe not? Middle age, for Sandra Tsing Loh, feels more like living a disorganized 25-year-old’s life in an 85-year-old’s malfunctioning body. With raucous wit and carefree candor, Loh recounts the struggles of leaning in, staying lean, and keeping her family well-fed and financially afloat—all those burdens of running a household that still, all-too-often, fall to women.


The Madwoman and the Roomba chronicles a roller coaster year for Loh, her partner, and her two teenage daughters in their ramshackle quasi-Craftsman, with a front lawn that’s more like a rectangle of compacted dirt and mice that greet her as she makes her morning coffee. Her daughters are spending more time online than off; her partner has become a Hindu, bringing in a household of monks; and she and her girlfriends are wondering over Groupon “well” drinks how they got here.


Whether prematurely freaking out about her daughters’ college applications, worrying over her eccentric aging father, or overcoming the pitfalls of long-term partnership and the temptations of paired-with-cheese online goddess webinars, Loh somehow navigates the realities of what it means to be a middle-aged woman in the twenty-first century. By day’s end, we just might need a box of chardonnay and a Roomba to clean up the mess.

Genres: Memoir, Humor, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Contemporary, Essays, Biography

304 pages, Hardcover

First published June 2, 2020

About the author

Writer and performer Sandra Tsing Loh is a contributing editor to The Atlantic, host of the syndicated radio show The Loh Down on Science, and the author of five previous books. Her work has appeared in Best American Essays. In addition to having been a regular commentator on NPR’s Morning Edition and PRI’s This American Life, she has performed two solo shows off-Broadway. She lives in Pasadena, California.

Reviews

[♥ Sandi ❣ · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 stars Thanks to BookBrowse and W W Norton and Company for allowing me to read this ARC. Publishes June 2, 2020

Totally neurotic!! Throughout the whole book there was only a couple of spots that I could relate to this woman. Having been born to a hypochondriac drama queen, it was easy for me to recognize the type. Every simple little itty-bitty thing blown out of proportion. A knack for taking the mundane and dramatizing. A book of individual essays - each mundane, boring, yet fabricated as something special.

I believe that this author, Tsing Loh, has a syndicated radio program. I do believe that had I ever heard the program I would never have opted for the book. And now having read the book - will certainly never go looking for the radio program.

Totally not my taste in book, writing or authors. I suffered enough as a child - this exaggerated hype, while all too familiar to me, is the last thing I ever want to come close to again!

[LAPL Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading Sandra Tsing Loh leaves me breathless, and in the best possible way, from too much laughing. Reading her is akin to watching Robin Williams when he performed his one-person comedy routines. She has, as he had, that rare ability to come at us like jazz musicians riffing: fast and furious, insightful and poignant, enlightening and maddening. There are no one-liners here, but multi-prong judgments that Loh is very adept at, having written quite a few books that you can find here. Her work is as fresh and biting as ever.

As the madwoman (crazed and angry) protagonist in these essays, she has hit her golden years--mid-fifties; dealing with her elderly father, who has always been a handful; daughters emerging from childhood with their own views of life; divorce and a significant other. She skewers what many of us think about modern life, but dare not say, and definitely could not do with her panache and humor. She is very smart, and it shows in her intentional comments about cultural trends and conventions, while tossing in allusions to older ideas, and all the time not willing to give up on being engaged with life--a curmudgeon with a twinkle deeply buried in her soul. Even showing appreciation for perfection presents Loh with issues, as when visiting Carmel Grove, " ... it's so beautiful it scars you forever. It secretly makes you hate any place that isn't it--like your own home." Her aging craftsman house is badly in need of major repairs and HGTV creates a dreamy illusion that it will be a snap. Loh knows that's not the reality in L.A., where, " ... you'd spend a year just waiting for permits. And for contractors!" Come tax season, she and her partner get into a verbal duel over who has the best accountant, given the lifestyles of each tax preparer. Tiger Mom aspirations were never a goal, but suddenly she cannot even figure out the grading system at daughter Hannah's school. There are emojis and an epsilon where once there were letter grades. Going to the doctor, getting weighed and having your blood pressure taken seem to be contradictory activities. First you get weighed and then they, " ... slap a cuff on you and immediately take your blood pressure after you've just seen your actual weight in red digital letters," pondering why it's so high. Finally, when Loh's father succumbs to death, after numerous times being brought back from the brink, the family has a funeral and memorial like no other. Unique and original are characteristics of Sandra Tsing Loh's family, even in death.

There are times when her references catch me offguard, but the rhythm of her writing is compelling. From her heart and soul come ideas that are antidotes for what ails us about modern life. Grab some tissues, be ready to clutch your sides because she will have you gasping and laughing, and right now we need those laughs more than ever.

Reviewed by Sheryn Morris, Librarian, Literature & Fiction

[Kayla TM · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was really excited to receive this book in the mail. What a great title. It just sounded like a fun, entertaining adventure through someone’s life. I have to admit, I feel the book was cheapened simply by the fact that Loh has written several books of this type about her life. I had expected the book to be a particularly crazy year in someone’s life, and even before getting to the first page I felt let down. The book itself, everything else aside, is entertaining with some funny moments. However, I feel the book was written with a very particular audience in mind, and I am not within that category. I am not in my mid to late fifties with teenage, or soon-to-be teenage, children. Because I don’t fit in with the intended audience, so much of the humor is lost on me. This story, I’m sure, is great for people who can relate to juggling desires of a household of teenagers who have ideas that differ from their own, and maybe when I get to that point the book will have a different rating for me. As of now, however, I found myself bored with the ranting of the author and the exhausting topics of things like lawn maintenance. Two stars.

Thanks to the publisher and goodreads for my copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have been reading Sandra Tsing Loh for 25 years. She has hilariously shepherded me through adulthood, and I will be forever grateful.

[Robyn]

The MADWOMAN and the ROOMBA: MY Year of Domestic Mayhem....

The book was often mildly funny, but I was amazed at the pride taken in not knowing how to do so many things... I thought everyone knew how to mow their yard, even if you don't do the mowing, surely at some point in your life... you pushed, pulled or rode on a mower and cut grass.... so some of what was related in the book set back women's equality 25 years! The rest just showed how neurotic she was.

One can only hope that life is really marked by all the crazy things that happened to or were caused by Sandra Tsing Loh. However, I know mine would have been better prepared for the needed equipment, who doesn't have more than kitchen shears and pizza wheels to cut with in their kitchen by the time they are 55? But if I was going to mark out a year, 2020 would have been one to do... mine would have had long stretches of crickets ... because nothing was happening.

3 stars

Happy Reading!

[Rosemary · Rating 2 out of 5]

In January I received this book from a friend in Southern California. The accompanying note read, in part, “Over the summer I hosted a Zoom book signing for Sandra. She is hilarious, and the book hopefully will be a nice diversion. This was an extra copy and it is signed. (woo-woo!)” She said I could pass it on and that’s good cause I’m gonna.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had been meaning to read this author for years, but somehow never got around to it - so I was excited when I saw there was a giveaway for her new book, and really thrilled when i got one of the giveaway copies! Although our experiences are none too similar, she writes the way I think: Lots of exclamations! (and parenthetical statements) So of course i loved the book.

I'm a bit older than the author, but we're close enough in age that I can relate to the idea of being 55 as "like living a disorganized 25-year-old's life in an 85-year-old's malfunctioning body." Her book reminds me that midlife stresses can be funny, viewed from the proper angle, so I'm eager to get my hands on the rest of her books, ASAP -- because I don't know about you, but I can always use a good laugh. Thank you, Sandra Tsing Loh!

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Perhaps I should have read The Mad Woman in the Volvo first, to get an idea of the strong personality that the author has. She seems to be making a living by writing about humorous but insignificant events in her life. Compared to today’s daily news offerings about Covid 19, her writing tries to make light of the baby boomer’s lifestyles. So much has changed in our lives in the past month, so this memoir just falls short of being enjoyable.

[Alison Robinson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Random collection of stories about a middle-aged woman struggling to complete tasks in her life. I was confused because the stories didn't even all relate to "domestic mayhem" as the title implied. It did have some funny parts, but I overall just didn't get it.

[Khanh · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some of this was humorous, but I really didn't like the writing. I don't mind dramatic, but this was a bit too over-the-top for me and it never stopped.

[Jady Babin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I discovered Sandra Tsing Loh and her sense of humor while watching her Ted Talk on menopause. She had me in stitches. I decided to research her a bit more and found that she had written a number of books.

‘The Madwoman and the Roomba: My Year of Domestic Mayhem’ is her newest humorous memoir.

Her short stories, snapshots into her chaotic life, were apropos to the stage of life I find myself currently in. A normalizing and relatable collection of anecdotes.

“Better yet, just pick a roasted chicken up at the store. Sometimes your best cooking utensils are your car keys.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Mary Katherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

First of all, thank you to my friend, Kim, who let me read her ARC of this book.

This was my first encounter with Sandra Tsing Loh's work. It will not be my last. She's hilarious! I really enjoyed her stories about navigating love, life, and work as a middle-aged woman. Her stories about her dad made me laugh out loud. The story of her doing her daughter's homework, in which she had to write poems about the parts of speech, is one of the funniest things I've read in a while. I want to be in Loh's friend group.

[Douglas · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm reminded of Seinfeld - it was described as a series "about nothing". The author writes about ordinary life, but it is good reading and sometimes laugh out loud. She can also be somber and reflective at times.

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. I’m really not the target audience for this book; but I enjoyed it nevertheless. Sandra Loh has a great sense of humor and she writes with courage and honesty.

[Wendy Thomas · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of the essays in this book were relatable, others, not so much so. I found the writing style a bit challenging at times, but overall I enjoyed the humor and the emotional impactfulness.

[Cathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall, most of the essays were pretty funny and interesting. I have not read any of the author’s other books. I liked that the essays followed the format of a year in the her family’s lives.

[Lindsay Moffatt · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has its funny moments, which is the only reason I finished it. It took me much longer to get through as I found many chapters to be boring.

[Debra M · Rating 5 out of 5]

I woke my husband up by laughing out loud

Each morning before breakfast I would read a chapter of two. I would wake up my husband because I was laughing. Her anecdotes and stories are so relatable and funny. I welcomed this change from my usual pattern of reading noir mysteries. It's nice to get out of one genre into a lighter fare. Kudos.

[Kiran Mascarenhas · Rating 2 out of 5]

I loved her chapter on parts of speech, but for the most part she illustrates that privilege and entitlement are not limited to one particular race or gender. Her brand of snark is about the right to eat cheese and follow your heart into a low paying, high satisfaction, cultural capital profession, and then heap scorn on people who work harder than she does.

[Archd · Rating 1 out of 5]

Couldn’t finish - couldn’t get past author’s whiny voice.

[Cheryl Gatling]

Sandra Tsing Loh is a columnist for NPR. Here she writes about her real life, in a way that is sometimes poignant, but mostly cute and funny. It reminded me of our own family newsletter, the Gatling Gazette, where we tell people what we did, but we try to be entertaining, probably with mixed success. Loh also has mixed success, but I think that is mostly because these essays/bits of memoir are better received in bite-sized pieces than in trying to plow through one after the other in a whole book.

I love the burning waffle on the cover. Loh is something of a madwoman in that she can get emotional. She can panic. She can make plans that are bigger than her ability to carry out. She stresses about preparing her kids for college, about going to parties, having parties, paying taxes, having Buddhist monks as houseguests, mowing the grass (a thing she has apparently never done). An episode where she takes her daughter to a gaming convention, and tries to bluff her way in using her NPR press credentials is memorable. The story of trying to support her daughter who has formed an online friendship with a troubled and potentially suicidal boy is deeply touching.

The book roughly follows Loh and her family through the seasons of one year. At the end of the year, her father dies, and his funeral is also touching. Loh is absolutely a bright and clever writer, and lays on thick the self-deprecating humor. I would willingly read more of her stuff.

[M · Rating 2 out of 5]

A painfully average upper-middle-class woman dramatized a year of her painfully average life with minimum editorial budget. I think this is classified as a comedy, though it should be shelved next to the phonebook and subsequently pulped. For the love of Christ, for a privileged little #$^& to try to whine to the audience about how unfortunate and broke she is while living a life of ample first world comfort my generation can only dream about isn't just tone-deaf but insulting. This woman's life revolves around what she buys and what mundane nonsense her kids are up to. Oooohhhhh woooooowwwwwww your kid plays Pokemon Go and does schoolwork? Why don't you repost ver batim 3 pages of your kid's homework, we all realllllllly want to read that! The most interesting thing that happens is they have some mice show up in their house, to which she acts like a Dresden Bombing victim. That's it. All her other "problems" are Marie Antoinette complaining about a run in her stockings.

Oooh wooowwww I'm just so quiiiiiirrrkkkkkkyyyyy tee hee! My painfully average consumerist suburbanite boomer self whose personality can be found at the clearance rack of a Walmart!

Author: meet me in the Denny's parking lot; I've had enough of your blunderings. You are soft, sheltered, and boring. You remind me of an aunt I have, because everyone has an aunt just like you. You are the target audience of every advertisement campaign from dish soap to women's multivitamins.

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to W.W. Norton for gifting me this book via a Goodreads giveaway! The title really caught my eye (seemed it could be my memoir -- burning an Eggo and the Roomba bit) and I really appreciated how Loh's essays were organized by month. The author has a very strong voice and seemed frenetic to me-- like a step and a half away from a breakdown. I'm glad she's chosen to self-deprecate and to laugh at some of the more interesting antics of her family members vs. come unglued! There were a few laugh-out-loud moments where Loh's inner monologue really struck a chord with me -- like her instructing her daughters to cry when she dies and "then you may go to the Cheesecake Factory." Overall, I enjoyed the book, but it was not a relaxing read since the author's take on her life and the events therein seem almost manic!

[Julie Trapp · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 Middle age, for the author, feels more like living a disorganized 25-year-old’s life in an 85-year-old’s malfunctioning body. With raucous wit and carefree candor, Loh recounts the struggles of leaning in, staying lean, and keeping her family well-fed and financially afloat―all those burdens of running a household that still, all-too-often, fall to women. The Madwoman and the Roomba chronicles a roller coaster year for Loh, her partner, and her two teenage daughters in their ramshackle quasi-Craftsman, with a front lawn that’s more like a rectangle of compacted dirt and mice that greet her as she makes her morning coffee. [Amazon review]

What a uninteresting book. My last year was far more interesting and relatable to the real world. Maybe I should find a ghost writer and make some money.

[Jill Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wasn't familiar with Loh before this book, but will definitely be looking into her back catalog now any time I need a break from my life/issues because hers are similar but so much more entertainingly presented!

With a delightful wit and self-deprecating voice, she manages to capture the joys, struggles, and hilarity of getting older and turn them into anecdotes and stories that made me smile, laugh, and grin sardonically from page to page... Life as a
50-something mom to teens / teens isn't all fun and games though, and Loh captures the difficulties with several poignant stories as well.

This was a fun escape-from-your-own-life book that read pretty quickly.

Thanks to the Amazon Vine program for my obligation - free review copy.

[(a)lyss(a) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book through the Amazon Vine program in exchange for an honest review.

I haven't read Sandra Tsing Loh's other books so this was my first introduction to her writing.

I'm not really the demographic for this book, a lot of the stories are anecdotes about being a middle aged woman. While I enjoyed some of them, there isn't really a theme that ties the collection of stories together. There's a lot of jumping around and sharing of child rearing antics and it's not always clear where the story is going or what we're supposed to take away.

Overall I found a few chapters funny, but some stories weren't more than a couple pages long or felt like they didn't fit.

[Liz Mackie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I kept this on my coffee table and savored it during COVID lockdown. Sandra Tsing Loh is a trip to the California coast in the form of a humorous personal essayist--within a page of any piece, I was in a different climate. These are hilariously detailed looks at a VERY particular place and time in our culture, which manage to convey a deceptively large number of universal human truths about family, parenthood, religion, ambition, and money, among other things. The last essay is stellar but the ones proceeding it felt a little haphazard as a lead-in; that small disappointment aside, I loved it.

[B. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received an ARC though I don't think it was through a Goodreads Giveaway. It was a really quick read, which has that going for it, and while some aspects were relatable, most of the time it just felt over the top - everything's blown out of proportion and you can see where jokes that are intended to be funny just fall flat. This could be an age gap thing, as I'm roughly two decades younger than the author, and it could be that I simply cannot (yet) relate to her experiences. Some of the essays are better than others, but all in all, it wasn't my cup of tea.

[Bonnie Too · Rating 3 out of 5]

I first heard Loh interviewed on a podcast and was intrigued by the idea of this book. As I began to read it, I felt like I was reading a new-age Erma Bombeck, based on the west coast instead of the east coast. As I read I was entertained, but a little concerned for this author's wellness. I just wanted her to find her happy place. The book felt like her daily journey for that quest. I just wanted to say "move away from this place where you live!"....IMHO it seems like a a small town might just be her happy place. This would be an amazing idea for her next book??

[Tiffany Brost · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good. And really funny. And I know it's actually her life and her experiences (although it didn't seem like the overweight challenges could have been accurate, judging by her photo - but I could be wrong). This was a super fast read, and I really enjoyed it. However. It got to be a little cliche. The beginning hooked me with her somewhat unusual and unique experiences. Toward the end, it seemed a little as though she was throwing in everything that every one of her friends might have experienced too. A little too much. But overall, a fun and funny read.