Aşk ve Kıskançlık: Kıskançlığın Nedenleri, Belirtileri ve Çözümleri

by Ayala Malach Pines, Canan Yonsel (Translator)

Kıskançlık nedir? Kıskançlığın sebepleri nelerdir? Kadınlar mı, erkekler mi kıskançlığa daha yatkındır? Kıskançlık bazen neden şiddete dönüşür? Kıskanç bir kişi olup olmadığınıza nasıl karar verirsiniz?

Bu kitapta kıskançlık psikolojisinin tanımı yapılıyor. Ayala Pines, insan zihni ve kalbinin gizli kalmış köşelerine derin bir gezi yapıyor; kıskançlığın dinamiklerini -nedenlerini, belirtilerini, tehlike işaretlerini- ve kıskançlığı kontrol altında tutmak için gerekli stratejileri gözler önüne seriyor.

Genres: Psychology, Relationships

359 pages, Paperback

First published June 23, 1998

Reviews

[Izlinda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read the first edition earlier this year and hoped this second edition would be slightly improved, instead of an exact reprint in paperback. Several years had passed so I would have thought it would be improved.

My memory isn't great, so maybe Pines did change a few things around. However, it felt like the same to me. Pines discusses various way to approach jealousy: a) psychodynamic (basically Freud - unconscious forces within the "jealous" person), systems (jealousy triggers occur relationship dynamics and best treated through couple therapy), sociobiological (evolutionary psychology and jealousy's universal), socio-psychological (cultures determine what types of behaviors are deemed jealous-triggering and how to express it) and cognitive-behavioral where jealousy can be a learned response and thus be unlearned.

Pines also shows ways people can "let go" of jealousy (swingers, open relationships/marriages) or be go to the other extreme and react violently. In her final chapter she also indicates a few coping strategies, and her appendices include a "How jealous are you?" questionnaire. It's pretty thorough.

It is dated, though, and again, seems too heavy on Freud's theories at some points. I think more should have been expanded on coping with jealousy and various other strategies. Her case studies are interesting and illustrate the points well, but at times felt like too much.

[Omeros · Rating 3 out of 5]

ayala discusses five approaches to jealousy:

(1) psychodynamic: Freudian, jealousy as a reflection of childhood experiences and unconscious forces
(2) cognitive-behavioral: behaviorist, jealousy as a learned response that can be unlearned
(3) systems: jealousy occurs in the context of a relationship and specific triggering situations, so more than the jealous individual
(4) social pscyhological: jealousy as a sociocultural construct
(5) sociobiological: Darwinian, jealousy as an instinct developed over the course of our evolutionary history

the main argument is that all five approaches or frameworks can be useful in treating a jealousy problem (even the last one, which is arguably helpful in breaking the fallacy of uniqueness that torments many a jealous individual, though i'm the least sympathetic to this one). prose is clean, clear, and precise. her pragmatism is rooted in her extensive clinical experience, very results-oriented, and quite refreshing. i learned a lot!

[Celeste · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book illuminating of sorts. With zero background on psychology, I was pleased to have a crash course into the different approaches to treatment as well as clarify the many aspects of jealousy. I lack the insight to be more critical of everything I've read, and I've taken down many notes for future reference for both myself and my friends. I'm interested to see how useful her recommendations would be to our lives. I hope someone I know enters a jelaousy crisis soon.

[Bjm Index]

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