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Does She Think of Me: A Birth Mother's Journey to Forgiveness
"You're not permitted to see your child at birth." The nurse was cold and stern as she draped a curtain across the teenager's midsection. The baby's cries echoed off the cold operating room walls and boomeranged back to the girl's shattered heart. Wiping the tears from her eyes she desperately clung to her baby's fleeting shadow, cast upon the thin fabric that hung between them.
An unplanned pregnancy at seventeen, and the feeling they had nowhere to turn, forced a young couple to make a decision they would regret for the rest of their lives. Although Cathy and Joey had their entire future planned to eternity, nothing could have prepared them for this fork in the road. One decision, either way, would change the course of their love forever.
The pounding of her heart dances in rhythm to the methodical passing of time. How could nineteen painful years drag on like an eternity, yet suddenly fade in the blink of an eye? Anxiously waiting for the phone to ring Cathy accepts the unknown. Her future happiness depends on the questions she yearns to have answered. Did she make the right decision? Can her daughter forgive her?
An unplanned pregnancy at seventeen, and the feeling they had nowhere to turn, forced a young couple to make a decision they would regret for the rest of their lives. Although Cathy and Joey had their entire future planned to eternity, nothing could have prepared them for this fork in the road. One decision, either way, would change the course of their love forever.
The pounding of her heart dances in rhythm to the methodical passing of time. How could nineteen painful years drag on like an eternity, yet suddenly fade in the blink of an eye? Anxiously waiting for the phone to ring Cathy accepts the unknown. Her future happiness depends on the questions she yearns to have answered. Did she make the right decision? Can her daughter forgive her?
- GenresNonfiction
103 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 12, 2020
2 people are currently reading
488 people want to read
About the author
Cathy Williams-Thrun
1 book26 followersOct. 19, 2020: NYC Big Book Award Contest - Distinguished Favorite
May, 2020: 5 Star Rating - IndieReader Review
Does She Think of Me, A Birth Mother's Journey to Forgiveness
Cathy was born in St. John's, Newfoundland and moved to Ontario in 1981 at the age of 19. Her professional career spans from Cashier to Business Intelligence Analyst the majority of which was self taught or learned from taking evening continuing education courses. With no degrees or credentials behind her name Cathy challenged herself to write a book about her personal experience as a birth mother. Her book, Does She Think of Me, A Birth Mother's Journey to Forgiveness, published in March 2020, was awarded a 5 star rating from IndieReader and recognized as a Distinquished Favorite in the Memoir category by the NYC Big Book Award contest judges. She lives by the motto "Nothing ventured, nothing gained and it's all in or nothing. Don't do anything half assed." Cathy lives in Stoney Creek with her husband. Their blended family consists of four daughters, three of whom are married, and one son. They have blessed her with five grandchildren who call her Nanny. Life can't get any better than that!
https://www.amazon.ca/Does-She-Think-...
May, 2020: 5 Star Rating - IndieReader Review
Does She Think of Me, A Birth Mother's Journey to Forgiveness
Cathy was born in St. John's, Newfoundland and moved to Ontario in 1981 at the age of 19. Her professional career spans from Cashier to Business Intelligence Analyst the majority of which was self taught or learned from taking evening continuing education courses. With no degrees or credentials behind her name Cathy challenged herself to write a book about her personal experience as a birth mother. Her book, Does She Think of Me, A Birth Mother's Journey to Forgiveness, published in March 2020, was awarded a 5 star rating from IndieReader and recognized as a Distinquished Favorite in the Memoir category by the NYC Big Book Award contest judges. She lives by the motto "Nothing ventured, nothing gained and it's all in or nothing. Don't do anything half assed." Cathy lives in Stoney Creek with her husband. Their blended family consists of four daughters, three of whom are married, and one son. They have blessed her with five grandchildren who call her Nanny. Life can't get any better than that!
https://www.amazon.ca/Does-She-Think-...
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
March 31, 2020
So I finished the book. To say I’m a mess is an understatement. You know you’re in trouble when you cry reading the dedication!! I knew my wife Cathy had a way with words but wow this is incredible. I joined this story in late 2012. I witnessed some of it first hand and heard about some of the rest from Cathy. But, to read her life experiences in a book like this is heart wrenching, humorous, and incredible. I knew my wife is strong but I never realized how strong she is. Living through what she did and coming out the other end with the positive attitude that she has is a testament to her intestinal fortitude. I am proud to be in her life. Congratulations Cathy on this major accomplishment. Thank you for sharing this with all to see and read.
June 12, 2020
"You're making a very selfless and brave decision."
This memoir shows the contrast between doing and living with a selfless and brave decision. Cathy's memoir showcases how her upbringing ultimately led her to one of the most difficult decisions a mother could ever make regarding her child. Having three children of my own, I can't imagine not having any one of them missing from my life for any amount of days, much less years. Cathy's heartache became very tangible because it's described in real emotion - nothing is held back. I'm happy that she found the closure and the daughter that was always in her heart, if not in her arms.
This memoir shows the contrast between doing and living with a selfless and brave decision. Cathy's memoir showcases how her upbringing ultimately led her to one of the most difficult decisions a mother could ever make regarding her child. Having three children of my own, I can't imagine not having any one of them missing from my life for any amount of days, much less years. Cathy's heartache became very tangible because it's described in real emotion - nothing is held back. I'm happy that she found the closure and the daughter that was always in her heart, if not in her arms.
June 14, 2020
Oh my this is so beautifully written, I cried ugly tears. Thank you to the author for sharing the most intimate emotions & details. She takes us along her journey from the past and present, it’s raw and honest.
June 17, 2020
Does She Think of Me reads like a novel, but it is the true story of a mother who gave her daughter up for adoption at birth. But it’s really so much more. It’s the story of dysfunctional families, addiction, women who feel they have no voice, and about the love between mother and child. Cathy’s story will take you through a range of emotions from heartbreak to joy. Her moving journey traverses a roller coaster of feelings that grab you and won’t let go. I felt rage at her family’s refusal to help her, and was warmed by the love between the child’s father and her – how they moved forward and built a family despite all the obstacles. But the most poignant part for me was when she first talked with her daughter, Kelly, and Kelly’s adoptive parent’s acceptance of her birth mother’s family. This is a book that anyone who has experienced adoption in any form should read. Cathy’s portrayal of her life, of her emotional ups and downs, and her discovery that happiness does truly exist is one you won’t forget.
June 13, 2020
A heartbreaking memoir about giving a baby up for adoption. After twenty years they are reunited. The book is mostly about the years in between. She tells about missing a part of herself and worrying that her daughter is safe and happy. From keeping a journal to spending four years hand sewing a quilt she thinks about her every day. Very emotional and sometimes hard to read. An incredible story about an amazing woman. Highly recommend!!!
May 24, 2020
CHECK OUT MY REVIEW HERE!
Connect with me on:
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Connect with me on:
Instagram | Twitter | Goodreads
June 17, 2020
This heart-breaking, heart-warming, story of birth parents choice to place their newborn daughter for adoption, kept me reading and crying until the end. This e-book was received from Goodreads.
April 29, 2020
Cathy graciously sent me a copy of her book in return for honest feedback. Thank you!
When I was in high school - a small town high school that was fed from at least three towns, a girl came back from summer break pregnant. This was a girl who went to my public school, and though she was a year older than me, we were friends at that point and hung out (and played canasta, because small town). Our friendship did not make the transition to high school, but it was one of those things - we didn't dislike each other; we just weren't part of each others lives anymore. She would walk down the hall with her pregnant belly while people gossiped and whispered. She gave birth and had an open adoption and was back in school to finish up her classes. As far as I knew, that was the first time. Oh probably not the first time for a pregnancy, but the first time a student took classes while pregnant. I was ensconced in my naive life and didn't really realize what it would have meant for this young woman.
The reason for that preamble is that while I was reading Cathy's story, I couldn't help but be reminded of Jacqueline. Sure there may have been 15 or 16 years between the events, but it felt so similar (from my outside perspective).
It can't have been easy. Put aside everything to do with pregnancy that terrifies me, but to have to make the decision to give the child up for adoption. Even that phrase seems like it should be renovated. Cathy doesn't hide from the grief, the guilt, the shame, the fear, the agony. In this is a memoir that is considerate of everyone involved. It doesn't name and shame. It doesn't stir up drama. We see the affects of a fractured childhood brought on by alcoholism. We see the affects of postpartum; which somehow seems worse because (in my admittedly still naive mind), at least most women have a child at the end of it. Cathy and her husband didn't.
Even though this book was written years after the event, it was still so very current. There was still that connection - there wasn't a wall, or a veil hiding us from anything.
Even though I don't have children, nor can understand the desire to have them, I felt like there was something in there for me. Maybe because I knew someone who went through something somewhat similar. Or maybe it's because Cathy extended a hand to us and walked alongside as we followed her journey.
When I was in high school - a small town high school that was fed from at least three towns, a girl came back from summer break pregnant. This was a girl who went to my public school, and though she was a year older than me, we were friends at that point and hung out (and played canasta, because small town). Our friendship did not make the transition to high school, but it was one of those things - we didn't dislike each other; we just weren't part of each others lives anymore. She would walk down the hall with her pregnant belly while people gossiped and whispered. She gave birth and had an open adoption and was back in school to finish up her classes. As far as I knew, that was the first time. Oh probably not the first time for a pregnancy, but the first time a student took classes while pregnant. I was ensconced in my naive life and didn't really realize what it would have meant for this young woman.
The reason for that preamble is that while I was reading Cathy's story, I couldn't help but be reminded of Jacqueline. Sure there may have been 15 or 16 years between the events, but it felt so similar (from my outside perspective).
It can't have been easy. Put aside everything to do with pregnancy that terrifies me, but to have to make the decision to give the child up for adoption. Even that phrase seems like it should be renovated. Cathy doesn't hide from the grief, the guilt, the shame, the fear, the agony. In this is a memoir that is considerate of everyone involved. It doesn't name and shame. It doesn't stir up drama. We see the affects of a fractured childhood brought on by alcoholism. We see the affects of postpartum; which somehow seems worse because (in my admittedly still naive mind), at least most women have a child at the end of it. Cathy and her husband didn't.
Even though this book was written years after the event, it was still so very current. There was still that connection - there wasn't a wall, or a veil hiding us from anything.
Even though I don't have children, nor can understand the desire to have them, I felt like there was something in there for me. Maybe because I knew someone who went through something somewhat similar. Or maybe it's because Cathy extended a hand to us and walked alongside as we followed her journey.
July 12, 2020
To say this book is an emotional roller-coaster is probably an understatement! Being an adoptive mother this story from Cathy was really enlightening. I could never imagine what it would have felt like to have placed my child for adoption, but reading Cathy's story has really opened up the reality for me. I felt the heartbreaking, soul crushing pain she described feeling for 20 years before she finally had the chance to meet her daughter fie the first time. Being the adoptive parent, I can more than relate to Diane's feelings of being scared of losing her daughter because I have felt that same way when my children have searched for their birth parents.
What I think is most wonderful about this story is the validation of both sets of parents' feelings. Diane and Wayne both seemed to grieve for her loss, and never discounted her pain over the years.
I am sure this had to be a very difficult book to write, Cathy I thank you so much for sharing your experience with us! You have also helped to open my eyes to how a birth mother feels and what she might be going through from losing her child.
What I think is most wonderful about this story is the validation of both sets of parents' feelings. Diane and Wayne both seemed to grieve for her loss, and never discounted her pain over the years.
I am sure this had to be a very difficult book to write, Cathy I thank you so much for sharing your experience with us! You have also helped to open my eyes to how a birth mother feels and what she might be going through from losing her child.
July 8, 2020
I've always said that, for me to consider a book as being a "great read", it must either make me laugh out loud or make me shed a tear. This is a heart-warming story with a very happy ending. Cathy has a way of making us feel her pain and her struggle to act normal, when she was anything but feeling normal. She had me shedding that tear when she was finally reunited with her daughter at the airport. From a writer's viewpoint, I feel the story may have been better with more showing than telling, but other than that, it flowed nicely and was easy to read. What a wonderful gift for your daughter! Thank you, Cathy, for sharing your story with the world.
June 19, 2020
As a memoir, this would probably be a 2-star book, but that isn't what it is. It's a love letter from a mother to her family, including the children she raised, the child she gave up for adoption, and all of the extended family connected to their life journey. For that, it's a home run for sincerity and openness. Thank you, Cathy, for sharing your family - in all the senses that means - experience.
April 4, 2020
This book had me from the very first page. It was incredibly intense, almost as if you could feel the setting, people and emotions as if you were there watching from the sidelines. I can honestly say that this book had me on an emotional rollercoaster and at the end made me feel shook from lack of better words.
June 23, 2020
Interesting read
July 9, 2020
This book was beautifully written. It grabbed my heart at the beginning and kept it all through the book. Thank you for a wonderful book
June 20, 2020
I won a copy of this book through Goodreads.
It was an interesting read with much angst and guilt over giving up your first baby. This story shows how the feelings go on every day for years. I really liked how the story wrapped up didn’t leave you hanging.
It was an interesting read with much angst and guilt over giving up your first baby. This story shows how the feelings go on every day for years. I really liked how the story wrapped up didn’t leave you hanging.
July 6, 2020
As an adoptee, I think stories like this need to be shared, voices of birth parents are not as easy to find. This journey that Cathy takes you on is full of emotions, well worth the read. I won a copy from Goodreads.
July 9, 2020
This book brought back memories of the debate my sisters two friends had back in 1979. One had her baby and gave it up for adoption and the other had an abortion. I called my sister to find out if over 40 years later, they think they made the right decision.
May 18, 2021
Canadian author. This is a quick read but there is so much raw emotion shared. Bring some tissues.
July 22, 2020
Thought-provoking, deeply affecting, and just plain gut-wrenching at times. This story will make you want to wrap your arms around the author and protect her from the heartbreaking events of her life… but you can’t. Thank you, Cathy Williams-Thrun, for having the courage to put your life out there for all to see. This book whispers to all of us, “don’t give up hope.”
Lives will be changed
Lives will be changed
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews