TW: infant death, drug/alcohol abuse, death threats, rape threats, suicide mention, bomb threat, underage pregnancy, neglect
There is so much I want to talk about here. I'm going to start off with the relationships. Because holy wow. Really strained familial relationships here. They tried, absolutely all of the characters tried. But wow.
Since I feel like she is the core problem let's talk about the mother. Detective Julie Bergen. I wouldn't necessarily call her a neglectful mother in the sense that she provides for her family in the best way she can. BUT she does not know how to be a mother after everything with her husband. Her husband died of an alcohol and drug overdose, and a lot of people think he killed himself. Taking clues from the text I would agree with that, even if the main character does not. However, that's a point I will address in a little bit. Right now I'm talking about how this messed up the mom.
After her husbands death Julie essentially stops being a mother and starts being a widow. She spends the majority of her time at work, causing a large emotional divide between her and her three children. She does try, but not nearly hard enough. Her strained relationship with all of her children, to me, directly led to her daughter's pregnancy. And no, I'm not talking about our 16 year old MC here. I'm talking about her 13 year old, 8th grade daughter. Who no one realized was pregnant. So, neglect in my opinion.
In addition to a mother who is barely around we've also got an older brother and sister who are determined to hide everything from the youngest sister. Landry is 13, not stupid. Middle schoolers know how to navigate the internet. They hear rumors the same way high schoolers do. I understand why Penn and Beckett wanted to hide the worst of it from her. Landry is just a kid after all. But, kids aren't stupid just because they're kids. They should have talked to her about things. Maybe if there had been open communication between the siblings instead of misguided attempts at protection, Landry wouldn't have gotten pregnant then hid it from them for nearly eight months and given birth in a locker room shower. So, obviously the way the characters didn't communicate really affected their relationships and ended up messing with their family and their emotions, leading to the events of the book.
Which goes into my next point. The biggest theme of the book is how no one pays attention to the most vulnerable until they have an angle to spin. People see what they want to see. When there's a vigil for this poor dead child the most important thing to so many present is showing that the town is not this bad place where no one knows someone is going through this alone. Except, someone did. And a vigil like this should be for remembering the child. Only Beckett seemed to understand this. Well, her and her sister, but we weren't supposed to know why Landry got this at this point in the story.
Everyone was so concerned with the image of the town, but very few people seemed to care about what the mother of this child went through. Alone. Only a handful of characters even showed sympathy. Most, including characters that we would expect to be kind, like other mothers, were calling for the arrest and punishment of this girl. Even when I wasn't 100% sure who the mother was I was still shocked and appalled at this. But this went to the overall commentary the story was trying to make. When there is a tragedy, people will twist it to fit their own narrative. They will use it to further their agenda. They won't see it until it's important to them. And I think we can apply this to life in general, especially for teenagers right now. How many school shootings do we hear about every year? How many are used to push political agendas, instead of working to fix the core problem and improve life for these kids who then have to advocate for themselves? How many times does this blow over in a matter of days with little to no actual change made for the better?
Yeah. Exactly. This book did a great job of showing readers exactly how that point is applied to other tragedies, not just the ones we, as Americans, have become desensitized to. And it does such a damn good job of it. Really appreciate how well this is done.
Okay, moving on before this turns into even more of a political rant.
Let's talk about characters for a second here. Our MC is a teenager. Now, I know you're thinking "all YA protags are teenagers that's what YA is Kailey" but hear me out. She's grown up, but not in a way that makes her not seem like a teenager. She's not an adult with the written age of 16. She's gone through a hellish trauma. Beckett is the one who found her father's body and ultimately feels responsible for his death. It weighs heavily on her, and we can clearly see the parallels between how she feels she failed her father (even though he was an addict and that's not her fault) and how she failed the mother of this child without noticing. That becomes even more apparent once she figures out it's her little sister who she adores. And yet she still makes mistakes. She doesn't reflect on how her trauma is impacting her life the way an adult might, but works to figure it out. She stumbles around a bit, in her love life, her personal life, and her investigation into the death of this child. I didn't really like Beckett, but I thought she was written so smartly. For example, when she thought her boyfriend was cheating, she overreacted and jumped to conclusions and dumped him, in the normal way a teenager would. Some characters in YA who faced the same situation might've acted a bit more maturely. But Beckett doesn't and I loved that. She was allowed to be a kid, even faced with all this crap thrown at her.
And. Okay. Speaking of kids allowed to be kids. Landry wasn't. A PREGNANT 13 YEAR OLD! I SAW IT COMING AND IT STILL IT WAS TOO MUCH! And listen the one trigger warning I'm so happy I didn't have to add was rape. I will say that I am so happy I didn't have to read about the rape of a minor causing a pregnancy that led to a stillborn baby and gargantuan amounts of trauma for an already traumatized family. But this little girl was so grown up already. She was scared, and alone, and taken advantage of by an attention-seeking best friend. She's a child who had just lost her father, whose mother was so distracted she couldn't see her youngest daughter was struggling, and she didn't tell a single person besides her best friend who was really taking advantage of her. Everything about Landry, from her love of cooking to her obvious pain about her dead father, was layered and deep. She was the most complex character in the entire book. And she was thirteen years old. As much as I hate the knowledge that this is very possible and has most certainly happened somewhere in this country, i have to admire the author's skill here. Landry might not have been allowed to be a kid, but this was written phenomenally.
The setting could've been a little more well-developed. I know we were in a small town but, beyond the fact that it was repeatedly stated, I didn't really get that sense. Sure there was small-town gossip, and the way the other characters treated Beckett after she found the baby definitely had that mindset to it, but not once did I feel like the setting itself was small. Even the gossip didn't feel "small town" enough somehow throughout the first half of the book. It did pick up in the second half, though the general sense of setting never clicked for me.
For the most part the plot itself was fairly predictable. I don't mean that in a bad way. This kind of story had specific beats it had to hit, and hit them it did, right on the head. I thought the story was gripping and kept me invested. Even knowing certain things had to happen for genre-sake, I looked forward to them coming. Certain foreshadowing things were nice. I can't say that every reader would pick up on them but I imagine anyone who reads very often or reads a lot of thriller-type novels would see it. I hope they like the story as much as I did, despite knowing certain twists are coming.
Overall I enjoyed this book a lot. It was dark, dramatic, and incredibly honest. Also painful and sad. It made for a truly thought-provoking and interesting read. Please keep in mind the trigger warnings if you do plan to read (and I hope you do). This is definitely not going to be a book for everyone, but it's a very good read. I give it 4/5 stars.