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La belleza del caos

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rare book

312 pages, Paperback

First published August 28, 2017

29 people are currently reading
2647 people want to read

About the author

Claire Christian

6 books244 followers
Claire Christian is a novelist and playwright who lives in Brisbane.

Claire’s debut young adult novel BEAUTIFUL MESS won the 2016 Text Publishing Text Prize. It has been translated into four languages across five different countries – and counting. She is currently working on adapting it to film. In 2019 she secured a three-book deal with Text Publishing, the first of which will be released in October 2020. It’s Been A Pleasure, Noni Blake is a pleasure seeking, queer, romantic comedy.

Claire has written a bunch of plays you can read; TALKING TO BRICK WALLS, LYSA AND THE FREEBORN DAMES, THE LANDMINE IS ME and HEDONSIM’S SECOND ALBUM.

She has had the great joy of directing Michelle Law’s smash-hit play SINGLE ASIAN FEMALE from 2017. Claire is a proud member of the theatre collective THE MAMAS BOYS.

Claire has over fifteen years’ experience teaching, and facilitating, across multiple education and community sectors; where she has mostly works with teenagers helping them to tell excellent stories.

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5 stars
494 (31%)
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633 (39%)
3 stars
367 (23%)
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64 (4%)
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29 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 250 reviews
Profile Image for L A i N E Y (will be back).
408 reviews829 followers
May 24, 2021
This is one of those utterly rare times when I both prefer them being friends and also prefer them as a couple. It’s glorious.

I am so proud of Ava. How she could make herself do the right and selfless thing How she could do that I will never understand. If in the same position, I know in my heart I would never be able to do that. And at her age too, no less. No waaayyyy would I be able to do that. I was rather a flawed teenager, as you can imagine. So the more I think about it, the more I realize how much effort it must took and I was so inspired by that amount of tremendous courage all over again.
Profile Image for Sue Gerhardt Griffiths.
1,225 reviews79 followers
August 20, 2017
Wow. Just wow. So beautiful. So raw. So gripping.

I was spellbound by Ava and Gideons’ story. The author has created two authentic characters, one struggling with grief and the other with anxiety and self-esteem issues, their emotional journey’s are beautifully written with a touch of humour added to the mix. I laughed and cried in equal measure in some parts of this book.

This is so, so good, everyone should read this novel!

Love the cover, fitting to the story.

A huge thank you to Text Publishing and Goodreads Giveaways for this review copy.
Profile Image for Farhina ↯↯ The Wanderer Of Inked Adventures.
450 reviews165 followers
July 24, 2020
2020: Book #4 for the Reading Rush for the prompt: a book that takes place on a different continent than where you live.(reread)
I FEEL SO EMOTIONAL ALL OVER AGAIN. ALL THE STARS IN THE WORLD (AGAIN).
PLEASE READ AND CHECK THIS BOOK OUT IF YOU HAVEN'T.



2017:
"And I've got to keep sorting my shit out, because life is messy.
But fuck, it can be beautiful. "




This is my new favorite mental health book that deals with depression and anxiety. 💓

This was just so beautifully written, and flowed so nicely. And had someone of the most beautiful quotes and relatable liners, that made me go hell ya, me af!

"You do not need to apologize for being on the planet. You have a right to be here. What you have to say is valid. We want to hear it. None of this bullshit martyr stuff. Own your art. Own you existence. Don't be dickheads. Simple?"

"You're lucky. Rae mutters this; she doesn't talk much.
"Yeah, I guess." It's weird when that happens, when someone says something that makes you realize that what you think is normal really isn't."


'I tend to not really make choices that are based on my own happiness and so I figured l'd start trying to do that a bit more. I don't think I'm one of those people who are naturally happy, you know? I'm definitely not one of those carefree people who go with the flow and wake up every morning in a good mood. I'm not that guy. tend to live in a state of, well, anxiety.I'm not confident. I know, shock horror, I hardly think you'd have worked that out by now. "


The main characters had me falling in love with them. They were so broken and vulnerable and I loved their journey.
Ava was like don't come near me "rawr" persona that made people want to stay one feet away from her. She was dealing with the loss of her best friend. And how to just go on with the gaping whole in her heart.
And Gideon was a cute little hurt puppy dog. Suffering from depression and sadness. And just trying not to be awkward as hell and freak out in every social situation.
He made lists and had a mental conversation before doing things and it was just so relate able his anxious little omg I have to meet another human what do I do now thing. Because honestly Gideon same bruh!
Also the parents were kinda amazing 😂 on both the mc's side. They were funny understanding and very lovely. And I loved that so much. All three had such quirky and fun personalities...


The discussion about mental health, depression and anxiety in this book was so good.And I loved how natural, raw and beautiful it was. How positive it was and in trying to help deal with things and how their were therapists. How despite all the negatives this books made you go and told you and made you see how their are positives too and how you can find beauty around you and I loved that.

"I don't know what your fascination with being normal is. I don't think any of us are normal. We've all got shit going on, but we're all trying to convince each other that we're normal. I think it's fucked. I think it would be so much better if we were all just more honest and said when things were bad, or that we weren't okay or were sick or we were happy or whatever, l used to be one of those people you talked about those people who would wake up in a good mood. I think it's just in you, you know. You're either a positive person or you're a negative person"

I was all in all for Ava and Gideons relationship. It's starts in such a little way and the way it builds. I just haven't felt this strong about two characters in a while and it made me really happy to root this hard for my favorites 💓

This book gave me all the feels. The good the bad, the happy the sad. The oh so relatable that made me go oh yes. That me.

The writing was a beauty tbh. The quotes and all the one liners I have from this one are way too high!


This book had letters and list! Loved loved that part 😂😭 And beautiful poems. I just loved the dynamics of this all.

You know a book that leaves you warm and fuzzy and leaves you a little gobsmacked this one was one of them. And I love that feeling soo much. So yeah hello to another one of my favorites 😭

I did have a problem with the last few pages.... But I can also understand why it went that way . . . . and yeah the last page did kinda make up for it.

Over all,this book was amazingly beautiful inside and out. With that beauty of a cover that freaking shines to everything that was inside.


"Do you know what the Japanese say about broken things?" Robbie looks at me. "Kintsukuroi they call it. They take broken pieces of porcelain and they repair cracks with gold. Making it as it was, but new again. They believe that the cracks can make something more beautiful, more valuable."
"Is that for real?"
"Have I ever lied to you?"
"No."
"They believe that the cracks shouldn't be hidden, that they're part of their history, and should be shown. If you're going to show the cracks, why not show them beautifully."

(I love how this quote from the books is the inspiration for the cover it makes it 100x more love able because now it has a story behind it)

From amazing mental health rep to amazing characters. It was just instant love for me. It was so positive and reading it just gave me so many burst of happy energy but also sad times too. But overall pretty lovely experience

Please pick it up! Pretty please! 😭💓

Thank you to Text Publishing for sending me a copy.
_____________________________

This was so beautiful..... I am so over whelmed by the amazingness😭 Rtc
Profile Image for Marianne.
4,404 reviews341 followers
September 3, 2017
4.5★s

Beautiful Mess is the first novel by prize-winning Australian novelist and playwright, Claire Christian. When she actually attends, Ava Spirini is in Year 11 at MacGreggor State College, but her regular outbursts in the months since the death of her best friend, Kelly Waititi, have her on shaky ground. Insulting the principal, Mrs Bryan, abusing the school assembly and punching a classmate? Only so much can be excused due to grief before there are consequences. But they just don’t get it: “…she wasn’t just my best friend, she was my soul sister. And that kind of love doesn’t end. You can’t just move on from that.”

Hanging out (and more) with Kelly’s older brother, Lincoln is a way to be closer to her friend, though she’s not sure how Kelly would feel about that. At least her single Dad backs her up in every way, and her boss, Ricky at Magic Kebab, keeps her entertained.

Gideon Franks-Meyer is in Year 12 at Ava’s school. Despite unfailing support from his mums, Mandy and Susan, and his older sister, Annie, his battle with anxiety and depression has been a long and hard one. While he saw Ava’s assembly meltdown and remembers Kelly, he’s sure she won’t recognise him when he turns up to do dishes at Magic Kebab. He’s there because his therapist has suggested taking a “small, safe risk”. Friendship with this fiery girl might be possible if he can overcome crippling shyness; if she doesn’t think his poetry and record collection uncool; it’s probably more than he could wish for.

An alternating narrative gives both Ava and Gideon a voice: they are smart and perceptive, and between them, have many wise words to offer on mental illness. Their story features grief, guilt, self-harm (suicide and cutting), anxiety, depression, love, and friendship. It highlights society’s fixation on being normal and demonstrates the importance of finding the right therapist. Gideon’s poem “Broken” brilliantly encapsulates depression.

While there’s heartache, this is by no means a sombre tale and there’s plenty of humour in the dialogue: “’Do you actually have condoms?’ Susan says. I quickly interject, ‘Yes, I bought them.’ The last thing I need is a trip to Woolies with my mothers to buy condoms. I can just picture the argument in the aisle about which brand is best for durability and ethical production… Besides, what would either of them know about buying condoms?’”

While this novel may be branded as Young Adult, it is certain to appeal equally to older readers. The characters are endearing despite their sometimes unwise decisions and occasionally poor behaviour, the dialogue is believable and the story is important and uplifting. A brilliant debut from an author to watch.
Profile Image for K..
4,719 reviews1,136 followers
March 16, 2019
Trigger warnings: grief, death of a friend (in the past), suicide (in the past), mental health, self harm (in the past), violence.

3.5 stars.

I'm clearly going to be on Team Unpopular Opinion where this book is concerned, but I just.........didn't really get the type, to be honest. I really loved Gideon's story and his voice. But I had a hard time with Ava and I honestly can't pinpoint why.

That being said, I loved that therapy played such a significant role in the story and I loved the emphasis that everyone's grief is different and will progress at a different rate. I loved the secondary characters - Gideon's family were especially wonderful. But at the same time, I was never hooked by the story. And I think it was partly because to me, it felt like there were a whole lot of threads that were raised but never answered.

Add a wee dose of uncomfortable-ness about the fact that Kelly and Lincoln are (from memory) the only people of colour in the story and I just...yeah. I dunno. There was something about it that I didn't love.
Profile Image for Text Publishing.
713 reviews289 followers
June 22, 2018
‘Tender and absorbing, this debut novel from Australia tackles challenging topics…with an open and loving hand. It deals with myriad emotions and allows the healing process to be organic. The sweetness of the characters rises above the darkness they carry, and their honest desire for acceptance…will resonate with a wide range of readers.’
Booklist

‘A book full of heart and hope. Claire Christian’s voice leaps off the page, brimming with energy and verve.’
Judges' comments, Readings Young Adult Book Prize

'This page-turning novel displays a great deal of artful charm.’
Kirkus

'The characters are engaging, and their emotional struggles are palpable...While the majority of the plot is dark and grim, support from caring adults and siblings brings about an ending that is realistic and hopeful. ­VERDICT Recommended for most public library young adult collections.’
School Library Journal

Beautiful Mess doesn’t shy away from how rough the teen years can be, but also demonstrates the possibilities of healing and provides quite a few laughs to boot.’
Readings

‘A raw, affecting coming-of-age story that starts a conversation about mental health.’
Readings

‘Claire is such a lovely bubble of positivity. I’m excited to see what she brings to Aussie YA.’
Danielle Binks, Alpha Reader

‘Beautiful Mess is a stunning read. Claire Christian has delivered a raw and moving debut with beautifully flawed, well-drawn characters who you can’t help but fall in love with.’
Gabrielle Tozer

‘There are no easy answers in this book; its scenes explore debilitating anger and frustration, first sexual experiences and the importance of therapy in recovery. But there is deftness of touch in the writing and some genuinely funny moments. This is a strong, character-driven story from a talented playwright and novelist, which tackles some hefty issues with lightness and humour. It is an impressive debut.’
Books + Publishing

‘Beautiful Mess is a powerful, poignant novel about love, loss, and learning that even though we might feel cracked or broke at times, we are still beautiful…Claire Christian must be commended for tackling some of the most confronting themes in YA with sincerity and heart.’
Written Word Worlds

‘An engrossing read that brings together Ava and Gideon, two emotionally flawed and troubled characters not unlike Libby and Jack in Jennifer Niven’s Holding Up the Universe or Eleanor and Park of Rainbow Rowell’s book of the same title.’
Readings

‘Beautiful Mess tackles young adult issues head on, but with a lightness of touch that lifts it from the dark topics it explores. A debut novel with memorable, authentic characters that touch your heart, float into your life and leave you wanting more.’
Magpies

‘A truly touching story of young people trying to navigate their way through real problems. I highly recommend this novel and congratulate Claire on a great debut.’
Lamont Books

‘Claire Christian delivers an honest and searing depiction of the flow-on effects of grief…A book with a lot of heart and hope and a useful compass for teens facing similar issues.’
Kids’ Book Review

‘Bittersweet and funny…A beautiful book with important words to say about mental health, love and brokenness.’
Paper Fury

‘Beautiful Mess is a wonderful reflection of complexities of adolescence. Palpable, poignant and captivating, the narration of two adolescents finding moments of solace in one another. Claire Christian is a captivating, compassionate and remarkable debut author composing a narrative that will linger long after the final page.’
Diva Booknerd

‘Beautiful Mess is the most sensitive explanation of depression and how it affects lives that I have ever read. If you read any other book and felt a bit uncomfortable about the depiction of depression, read this one and understand more. Recommend it to your teenagers, your students, your friends with teen kids. It might help them understand and recognise themselves in some of the pages.’
The Sapling

‘Tender and insightful…An enlightened look at youth suicide and mental health.’
New Zealand Herald

‘Claire has created an authentic and informative book for young adults, while also an enjoyable read.’
Tea in the Treetops

‘The characterisation is strong and works wonderfully with the sinuous dialogue. In these darkened lives there are some light and funny moments, cleverly crafted by Claire Christian…All libraries for young adults should stock at least one copy of this book.’
Reading Time

‘A raw, beautifully written story that sensitively tackles grief, suicide, self-harm and first sexual experience.’
NZ Women’s Weekly

‘A funny and sad rom-com that doesn’t sugar-coat the grittier parts of teenage angst.’
Readings Best Young Adult Books 2017

‘The issues that are tackled in this book are important…Anxiety and depression, self-harm, suicide and grief are covered without making it feel like that’s all the book was written to do.’
Boffins Books
Profile Image for Kelly (Diva Booknerd).
1,106 reviews295 followers
September 24, 2017
Ava is barely surviving in the depths of despair after her friend takes her own life. As the moments pass Ava is inconsolable, engaging in abusive and destructive behaviour, now expelled while involved in a non committal sexual relationship with Lincoln. Seeking solace in one another. Ava is an incredible character, her despair is palpable as she navigates life after Kelly, a vivacious young woman who was diagnosed with depression and committed suicide.

Gideon is a quiet, young poet with anxiety, baring the pain of self harm. With the assistance of his councillor and medication, Gideon performs Slam poetry by sharing his experience with small audiences. Throughout the quiet, solitary moments, Gideon meticulously considers scenarios, moments of reflection while retreating to the sanctuary of his bedroom until bravery ignites.

Beautiful Mess is a wonderful reflection of complexities of adolescence. Palpable, poignant and captivating, the narration of two adolescents finding moments of solace in one another. Six months prior, Ava lost her childhood friend Kelly to depression, leaving behind a family in despair. Ava feels unsupported by her peers and teaching facility, offered counselling without compassion and understanding. Ava's father is a single parent and a wonderful support, compassionate and maternal while Ava momentarily finds comfort in a physical, although considerably toxic relationship with Lincoln. Ava's narrative also examines mental health through her own undiagnosed depression after losing Kelly and enrolling in The Alternative Program, who offer counselling and education for teens unsupported by the traditional education system.

Gideon is an extraordinary young man who upon the advice of his therapist, composes slam poetry as a instrument to express his experiences with illness. Gideon is often socially incapacitated and with the encouragement of his family, engages in acts of bravery to defy his social anxiety. A wonderfully peculiar young man, Gideon is disengaged with the online world and preferring to communicate through the artistry of writing letters in which he and Ava communicate. The concept was charming and allowed both Gideon and Ava to share their experiences while easing Gideon's transition into the tentative friendship.
Kintsukuroi they call it. They take broken pieces of porcelain and they repair the cracks with gold. Making it as it was, but new again. They believe that the cracks can make something more beautiful, more valuable.

A wonderful inclusion of diversity. The late Kelly is bisexual and Maori, Ava is of Greek heritage, Gideon's parents are in a female, same sex relationship and the discussion of depression, suicide and anxiety was magnificent and wonderfully represented. I appreciated the reiterating of the importance of prescription medication and counselling. Too often young adult literature promotes the mental well being of adolescents as an illness to be remedied by a love interest and I applauded the discussion of mental illness as a chronic condition that fluctuates upon a wellness spectrum, Gideon a quintessential example.

Claire Christian is a captivating, compassionate and remarkable debut author composing a narrative that will linger long after the final page. Exquisite Australian young adult literature.
Profile Image for Hej__jessica .
207 reviews10 followers
March 11, 2019
Ava und Gideon, zwei Teenager gefangen in ihren eigenen Welten. 

 

Ich mochte Ava und Gideon sehr, Gideon trotz ein paar seiner schrägen Marotten sogar noch ein bisschen mehr, da er greifbarer war als Ava. Ava und Gideon leiden, sie leiden unter ihrer Vergangenheit, der Gegenwart und der Zukunft. Beide sind Gefangene ihrer eigenen kleinen Welt und nur zusammen können sie es schaffen, dort auszubrechen. 

Für mich war "Du bringst mein Leben so schön durcheinander" ein sehr poetisches, stilles und tiefgreifendes Buch. Es gibt die altbekannten Teenagerprobleme aber auch ganz neue Aspekte einer jungen Liebe die auf Trauer und Zweifel aufgebaut wurde. Beide Charaktere sind nicht bereit für die Liebe, suchen sie eigentlich nicht und finden sie dennoch in den Momenten in denen es am unwahrscheinlichsten scheint. 


Ein großer Punkt des Buches ist das Thema Depressionen und Selbstmord. Hier Spoiler ich auch nicht, denn schon in den ersten Seiten wird dieses Thema aufgegriffen und sehr fein aber dennoch ohne große Umschweife thematisiert und dem Leser um die Ohren gehauen. Ava muss sich damit auseinander setzen, was jemanden dazu bewegt sich selbst das Leben zu nehmen und ist mit ihrem eigenen Ich ebenfalls so überfordert, dass sie gar nicht wahrnimmt in welche Abwärtsspirale sie abdriftet. 


Aber da kommt Gideon um die Ecke. Das genaue Gegenteil von Ava. Ruhig, schlaksig, auf keinen Fall draufgängerich und sehr introvertiert. Dabei ist er es, der Ava wieder zeigt wie Leben funktioniert. Er ist es der ihr klar macht was sie verpasst wenn sie weiter um sich schlägt. Er ist ihr rettender Anker. 


"Du bringst mein Leben so schön durcheinander" ist keins dieser typischen YA Bücher die zur Zeit den Markt überschwemmen und in der Masse untergehen. Dieses Buch ist so viel mehr. Es hat so viel mehr. Und es erzählt so viel mehr, wie jedes andere Buch das ich bisher gelesen habe. Die Geschichte hat Intelligenz, ist tiefgreifend und aufrüttelnd. Sie ist ein kleiner Schatz.
Profile Image for Samantha (WLABB).
4,249 reviews278 followers
August 20, 2018
The title did a good job setting me up for a story that was both beautiful and messy. This book was a total emotional rollercoaster, and I have to admit, I really loved the ride.

• Pro: My heart belongs to Gideon. I fell in love with this awkward, tenderhearted, skinny boy, who wrote amazing slam poetry, loved his family to pieces, and bravely fought his depression.

• Pro: The poetry featured in this book was incredible. I don't think any of the poems failed to bring tears to my eyes, but I also loved that Christian put a spotlight on how amazing art is as an outlet for pain.

• Pro: Not only did this book have incredible poetry, there were also a myriad of letters between Ava and Gideon, which were so sweet and funny and made my heart do a little flip flop.

• Pro: Both Gideon and Ava scored in the family department. Ava's dad was trying so hard to support his daughter as she grieved, and he even went to bat for her in some tough situations. His love for Ava was obvious, and they shared a really lovely connection. Gideon's moms were too fabulous and so was his sister. I loved their dynamic, and there were so many heartwarming on-page moments with them.

• Pro: I was really pleased with the way all the mental health issues were addressed. There was a positive stance towards medication and therapy, as well as alternatives to talk therapy. There were times, when Kelly or Gideon were trying to help people understand their depression, which really hit home for me, because they totally captured my own feelings.

• Con: The whole time I was reading this book, I was thinking "5-stars", but then at 91%, Christian did something that made me yell, "WTF". It sort of frustrated me.

• Pro: BUT, she did give me a nice, jump-ahead ending, which left me feeling happy and hopeful.

Overall: A beautiful and messy story of grief and loss, told with humor and lots of heart.

*ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.

BLOG | INSTAGRAM |TWITTER | BLOGLOVIN | FRIEND ME ON GOODREADS
Profile Image for Sprinkled Pages.
395 reviews137 followers
August 20, 2017
debating between 3.5 stars and 4 stars

i liked how well written this was and the exploration of grief as well as the fantastic characters! at times, it wasn't as relatable but still a solid and addictive read.

for more, read my no spoiler book review: https://sprinkledpages.blogspot.com.a...
Profile Image for rachel, x.
1,795 reviews938 followers
June 24, 2018
i hate that those last fifty pages made me go from 'this is the most represented i've ever felt' to 'what the hell did i just read make it stop'
Profile Image for Grace Arango.
1,350 reviews675 followers
April 8, 2018
LOVED:
- The Anxiety Representation
and
- The Poetry aspects

BUT
I didn't find interest in the characters and everything else besides the things above.
Profile Image for Monica Haak.
Author 15 books112 followers
April 10, 2018
een heel mooi ontroerend boek met zware onderwerpen maar toch echt een mooie uitwerking.

recensie binnenkort op myperfectbooklife
Profile Image for Jocelyn (foxonbooks).
417 reviews20 followers
August 17, 2017
I raced through this 'issue-heavy' Aussie YA this week. Raw, honest and really engaging, I related so well to the protagonists even though I've not been in a similar situation. A great read.
Profile Image for Irene.
989 reviews
March 25, 2018
“Het leven dat kon ze verdragen, het leven omarmde ze vol, maar van de pijn kon ze niet winnen.”

Nadat Kelly zelfmoord heeft gepleegd, is Ava kwaad op de wereld. Ze maakt het zichzelf onmogelijk op school en voelt zich nergens meer prettig.
Totdat Gideon bij Magic Kebab komt werken. Gideon is Ava’s tegenpool: hij trekt zich het liefste terug in zijn eigen wereld met muziek en poëzie.
Een bijzondere vriendschap ontstaat tussen hen, ondanks de bagage die ze allebei met zich meezeulen.

Je leest vanuit twee perspectieven, Ava en Gideon, en dat vind ik bij dit boek van toegevoegde waarde. Beiden hebben hun eigen problemen, gedachten en gevoelens. Ondanks dat er meerdere boeken geschreven zijn over bijzondere vriendschappen en soms in combinatie met soortgelijke thema’s, vond ik dit toch echt een bijzondere vriendschap. Ze leren van elkaar, houden van elkaar en groeien in hun eigen proces door elkaar.
Dit is een boek wat grappig kan zijn op sommige momenten, maar ook kleine scheurtjes in je hart kan maken omdat het mooi geschreven is.
Een mooi boek over zelfmoord, rouwverwerking, depressie, liefde en vriendschap.

Chaos. Maar wel schitterend.

"Ik heb hem bedankt voor de prachtige gedichten en voor het oprapen van de scherven van mijn versplinterde hart, zodat ik het zelf weer in elkaar kon lijmen.”
Profile Image for Toby.
861 reviews376 followers
November 11, 2019
Exactly what I needed. A joyous novel that gave me all of the feelings and reminded of so many moments in my own life. With two protagonists who are damaged little fuckers in their own ways you may not be sure who you love the most or want to hug and help with the pain but the time you spend with them will make you smile and laugh and feel warm from head to toe and gasp at their errors and groan at their stupidity and grow alongside them. It’s a YA. I am not its target audience. I would never have read this book if i hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting the author and hearing her speak so passionately and eloquently but there are entire chapters where I was reading in a busy brewery and feeling like they were so exceedingly well written that i wished i hadn’t been drinking the rather spectacular hazy ipa and sitting somewhere peaceful instead to allow me to fully appreciate the storytelling skill on display. Colour me fully surprised.
Profile Image for Jenna.
Author 5 books775 followers
January 19, 2019
An absolutely stunning exploration of grief, mental illness, love and friendship. My heart is very full.
Profile Image for Clare Snow.
1,282 reviews103 followers
March 3, 2018
TW: Suicide, Self harm

I have things to say, including: I finished 3 days before book group! WTF I'm sure book groupers have things to say too. I might write things after.

And reading this finished my two February Book Challenges. Didn't think that was gonna happen.

I love this cover. It has shiny.
Profile Image for reading_far_away.
88 reviews3 followers
April 22, 2019
Inhalt

Seit dem Suizid ihrer besten Freundin Kelly verspürt Ava eigentlich nur eins: Wut. Sie ist wütend auf ihre Freundin, die sich das Leben genommen hat, sie ist wütend auf sich selbst, weil sie die Anzeichen nicht erkannt hat, und sie ist wütend auf ihre Schule, weil die ihrer Meinung nach nicht richtig mit der Situation umgeht. Eines Tages lernt sie auf der Arbeit den zurückhaltenden Gideon kennen und die beiden fangen an, sich gegenseitig Briefe zu schreiben.

Meine Meinung

Es kommt wirklich selten vor, dass ich ein Buch an einem Tag durchlese, doch bei Du bringst mein Leben so schön durcheinander war das tatsächlich der Fall. Nachdem ich es beendet hatte, war ich ziemlich aufgewühlt und habe erstmal ein bisschen gebraucht, bis ich meine Gedanken dazu geordnet hatte. Das Buch ist alleine durch die Thematik des Suizids von Avas bester Freundin Kelly keine leichte Kost, doch auch Gideons Geschichte hat an mir genagt und mich zum Nachdenken gebracht. 

Doch fangen wir erstmal bei Ava an: Claire Christian zeigt mit ihr, dass Trauer nicht gleich Trauer ist. Trauer äußert sich bei jedem anders und bei Ava zeigt sie sich vor allem in einer großen Wut; Wut auf sich selbst, auf ihre beste Freundin und auf ihre Schule. Sie wird vor der gesamten Schülerschaft verbal ausfällig, geht nur noch unregelmäßig zur Schule und greift einen Mitschüler körperlich an. All das führt dazu, dass Ava der Schule verwiesen wird und von nun an auf die Flexi-Schule geht, eine Schule, die für Jugendliche mit besonderen Herausforderungen bestimmt ist. Mir hat es sehr gut gefallen, dass Claire Christian mit Ava verdeutlicht hat, dass Trauer nicht immer leise ist, sondern ebenso laut sein kann und Menschen zu Handlungen bringen kann, die nicht einmal für die Betroffenen selbst Sinn ergeben. So lässt Ava sich beispielsweise auf eine Affaire mit Kellys Bruder Lincoln ein, obwohl sie sich nicht einmal sicher ist, ob sie ihn leiden kann. 

Dann tritt eines Tages Gideon in Avas Leben, denn er fängt in eben jenem Imbiss als Tellerwäscher an, in dem Ava arbeitet. Gideon befindet sich schon seit mehreren Jahren in Therapie, denn er leidet an Depressionen und Panikattacken. 

"Ich kämpfe jeden Tag, lege Gipsverbände an Brüche an, die keiner sehen kann. Ich kämpfe jeden Tag." (S.86)

Durch eine seiner Therapeutinnen hat Gideon angefangen Poetry Slams zu schreiben und vorzutragen, und sie helfen ihm, seinen Gefühlen und Gedanken Ausdruck zu verleihen. Seine Texte haben mich sehr berührt und nachdenklich gestimmt und ich habe es als sehr positiv empfunden, dass Claire Christian sie in ihr Buch miteingebunden hat. Das einzige, was mich etwas irritiert hat, war, dass in dem Buch immer von Slam Poetry die Rede war, denn mir war bis dahin nur der Begriff Poetry Slam geläufig. 

Gideon hat gemerkt, dass ihm das Online-Sein nicht gut tut, und daraufhin beschlossen herauszufinden, ob es ihm ohne Facebook, WhatsApp & Co besser geht. Eine Folge dessen ist, dass er kein Handy besitzt und deshalb fangen er und Ava an sich gegenseitig Briefe zu schreiben, obwohl sie sich ja auch auf der Arbeit sehen. Und allmählich entwickelt sich zwischen den beiden eine sehr enge Freundschaft, die letztendlich darin endet, dass sie eine Beziehung miteinander eingehen. Diese Beziehung habe ich als sehr authentisch empfunden, sie beginnt sehr zaghaft und kommt ohne großes Drama aus, hat aber durchaus Tiefgang. 

Was mir an diesem Buch besonders gut gefallen hat, war die Diversität, die in dem Buch auftritt: Ava lebt bei ihrem alleinerziehenden Vater, Gideon und seine Schwester Anna haben ein lesbisches Paar als Eltern und sowohl Ava als auch ihre beste Freundin Kelly haben nicht nur Jungs sondern auch Mädchen geküsst. Nichts davon wird an die große Glocke gehangen, es ist einfach Teil der Geschichte und genau so wünsche ich mir Diversität in Büchern: dass sie auftritt ohne großartig zum Thema gemacht zu werden, denn so wird sie als das dargestellt, was sie ist: Normalität. 

Eine Entwicklung in dem Buch hat mir leider nicht so gut gefallen, ich möchte aber nicht spoilern und werde deshalb inhaltlich nicht genauer darauf eingehen. Ich konnte diese Entwicklung so gar nicht nachvollziehen, sie hat für mich keinen Sinn gemacht und wirkte für mich irgendwie erzwungen.

Fazit

Du bringst mein Leben so schön durcheinander ist eine berührende Geschichte, die viele wichtige Themen wie psychische Erkrankungen, Mobbing, Homosexualität und Suizid behandelt. Trotz der "Schwere" einiger dieser Thematiken ist es Claire Christian gelungen ein Buch zu schreiben, dass sich sehr leicht lesen lässt und das mich als Leser mit einem positiven Gefühl zurück gelassen hat. Ich vergebe vier von fünf Sterne.
Profile Image for Karschtl.
2,256 reviews61 followers
March 14, 2019
It's okay to be not okay

Das hier ist nicht nur ein - zugegeben sehr süßer - Boy meets Girl Jugendroman, sondern vor allem eine Geschichte über Trauer, Depressionen, Selbstverletzung, Suizidgedanken. Ein unglaublich wichtiges Thema, ganz besonders für diese Zielgruppe. Und Claire Christian hat das Ganze sehr einfühlsam und realistisch umgesetzt.
Sie lässt uns an den Gefühlen von Ava und Gideon teilhaben, beschreibt ihr Kennenlernen und die sich daraus entwickelnde Beziehung. Die Kapitel von Ava und Gideon unterschieden sich deutlich im Stil, so dass es auf mich recht authentisch wirkte dass ich jetzt die Gedanken eines jungen Mädchens beziehungsweise eines jungen Burschens folge.

Ich habe nicht recherchiert, ob diese Geschichte mit dem Gold zum Risse füllen stimmt. Aber sie hört sich toll an, eine super Idee!

Ein Lob auch an die Übersetzerin, die selbst die Gedichte von Gideon super hinbekommen hat, so dass es sowohl Sinn macht und sich auch noch reimt. Bestimmt keine leichte Aufgabe.
Profile Image for Mirre Doornekamp.
5 reviews
August 18, 2021
I loved this book it made me laugh a lot, out loud. It also gave a good and different view of grieve and all the weird feelings that come with it. I am very updet about the ending. People deserve all the happiness why not let them keep that 🥲

Profile Image for Gabby gcdeditorial.
278 reviews21 followers
June 7, 2018
4.5 stars.
This was such a beautiful and heartbreaking story about grief and pain and love. I loved it so so much - a new favourite!
Profile Image for Joan.
611 reviews7 followers
August 15, 2017
I received this as a Goodreads giveaway and loved it . An often heart wrenching, moving story of 2 damaged and sad teenagers- Gideon and Ava. Drawn together in an unlikely friendship, tentively trusting each other with their deepest thoughts, healing some of the hurts they felt.. Sometimes happy and often sad but always feeling very real.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
3 reviews4 followers
August 2, 2017
there were a lot of things I love about this, aside from the gorgeous cover.
I felt it attempted to show the effects of mental illness, not just have them talk about how sad they are. it actually impacts Gideon and Ava's lives in the opening scenes of the novel.
I also love the depiction of seeing a psychologist (you can tell I'm a psych student). It's presented really positively. They liked their psyc, they didn't see them because they were "mad", and it's was helpful
both teens liked their parent/s
letter writing and poetry (I love both)
having a character say both tizzy and foibles.
I had some issues with the ending, I felt certain scenes never quite got resolved.
overall though, I liked it.I found it gripping and relatable and I really felt the emotion.
Profile Image for taylor .
38 reviews
September 19, 2021
Sucked. Then sucked slightly less, then noticeably less, and then completely flipped 180° once I thought to myself “This book isn’t actually that bad”. It. Sucked. It started off horribly, then had some sweet moments about dealing with loss and mental health, and then turned into a 14-year-old-fanfic-writer style plot where nothing anyone says makes any sense what so ever and makes you want to slam your head through the book so hard it rips in half and damages your brain so you don’t remember the stupid second hand embarrassing makes no sense shit that happens. ITS NOT EVEN THAT BIG OF A DEAL NOTHING WVEN HAPPENS it’s just. why do writers always make characters say the weirdest most inhuman shit at the worst possible times. let me set the scene: (TW for suicide? and spoilers?) a girl lost her best friend to depression, she meets a sweet lovely boy who likes poetry and is also struggling with depression. said boy is extremely understand and genuinely a good person, but when main character girl says she doesn’t want to rely on him to make her happy (break up) he decides it’s a good idea to say “I know you’re sad because your best friend k*lled herself, but if you break up with me I might off myself too and it’s your fault 😁❤️” *slightly changed wording*. Why? is all i ask. Why? he would not say that, so Why Author? and then in a matter of 23 pages main character is completely fine 😼because she… 😼 I DONT EVEN KNOW NOTHING HAPPENED? WHY IS SHE OKAY NOW???? maybe i am overreacting because this always happens in the first 48 hours after finishing a book but i am mad.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
36 reviews4 followers
June 19, 2017
Having had the pleasure of meeting Claire at this years Text award night I was very keen to read her book. It was the winner of the Text award last year, which automatically guarantees it will be published, emphasising why it is such a great award for up and coming authors.
It is a truly touching story of broken and damaged young people trying to navigate their way through real problems. The two main characters are the essence of the story- Ava, whose best friend has committed suicide, and Gideon, who has severe anxiety and self esteem issues as well as many scars from previous self harm episodes.
I can't give away too much yet but suffice to say you will love it! They are amazing characters with obvious flaws while still being very real and raw and by slowly finding each other are able to begin the healing process.
Gideon's poetry is a real highlight and the whole story is fantastic with not too much of 'won't the world all be wonderful in the end'.
I highly recommend this novel and praise Claire for her great work.
Profile Image for CorniHolmes.
940 reviews44 followers
March 26, 2019
Bei einem Blick in die Programmvorschau des Thienemann-Esslinger Verlags ist mir „Du bringst mein Leben so schön durcheinander“ sofort ins Auge gesprungen. Bei dem Buch sprach mich einfach alles auf Anhieb an. Den Titel finde ich wunderschön, das Cover ist so hübsch und der Klappentext klang auch ganz zauberhaft. Hier wusste ich wirklich sofort, dass dieses Jugendbuch ganz genau das Richtige für mich sein wird. Es wanderte dann auch sogleich auf meine Wunschliste und zog kurz darauf bei mir ein.

Ava und Gideon sind total verschieden, haben aber eine große Gemeinsamkeit: Beide sind sie an schweren Schicksalsschlägen zerbrochen und haben die Freude am Leben verloren. Was sie ebenfalls gemeinsam haben, ist ihr Nebenjob in einem Schnellrestaurant. Hier werden sie sich kennenlernen und bereits ihre erste Begegnung soll alles verändern. Es soll sehr schnell eine innige Freundschaft zwischen den beiden Jugendlichen entstehen, eine Freundschaft, die ihnen Halt geben und aus der schließlich mehr werden wird. Ava und Gideon verlieben sich ineinander, allerdings sind sie beide so viel Nähe eigentlich gar nicht gewöhnt…

Ich habe bei meiner Bücherauswahl mal wieder einen absoluten Glückstreffer gelandet. Ich bin so begeistert von diesem Buch! Es ist so schön und bewegend, es ist humorvoll, zugleich aber auch traurig, es ist tiefgründig, ehrlich und so authentisch. Solche Art von Büchern lese ich immer ganz besonders gerne. Ich liebe das, wenn ich beim Lesen auf eine emotionale Achterbahnfahrt der Gefühle mitgenommen werde. Ich war hier immerzu am Schmunzeln, ich habe mitgelitten, war schockiert, wütend, traurig und kurz darauf schon wieder glücklich. Für mich hat sich „Du bringst mein Leben so schön durcheinander“ zu einem richtigen Highlight entwickelt. Bereits nach den ersten Seiten wusste: Oh ja, dieses Buch wirst du lieben!

Claire Christian ist hier eine ganz besondere und alles andere typische Liebesgeschichte gelungen. Das Buch sticht auf jeden Fall aus der Masse hervor, es ist erfrischend anders und es enthält so viel mehr als die klassischen Love-Stories. Der Hauptgrund, warum dieses Buch so außergewöhnlich ist, sind die beiden Protagonisten Ava und Gideon. Beide sind sie ganz wundervolle Charaktere, wobei Gideon definitiv mein persönlicher Liebling ist. Gideon ist einfach Zucker. Ich fand ihn total süß. Er ist extrem schüchtern, sehr unsicher und er hat eine sehr harte Zeit hinter sich. Eine Zeit, die eigentlich immer noch nicht vorbei ist, denn Gideon befallen immer wieder schwere Depressionen, Panikattacken und Selbstzweifel. Um sein Leben in den Griff zu bekommen, geht er regelmäßig zu Robbie, seinem Therapeuten. Die Gespräche mit ihm helfen sehr, genauso wie das Verfassen von Gedichten. Gideon ist ein leidenschaftlicher Poerty-Slammer und ein wirklich guter! Wir Leser bekommen einige seiner Werke zu lesen und obwohl ich mit Gedichten eigentlich so gar nichts anfangen kann (ich weiß auch nicht, ist auch einfach nicht so meins) haben mir die wunderschönen, poetischen Poetry-Slam Texte von Gideon unheimlich gut gefallen und sehr berührt.
Total schön fand ich auch Gideons Entwicklung im Verlaufe des Buches. Er wird offener, traut sich mehr zu, wird selbstbewusster.

Ava mochte ich ebenfalls vom ersten Moment an richtig gerne. Wie Gideon, so muss auch sie gerade durch eine verdammt harte Zeit durch. Der Selbstmord ihrer besten Freundin Kelly belastet sie sehr. Trost sucht sie bei Kellys großem Bruder Lincoln, den sie eigentlich nie so wirklich leiden konnte. Dennoch sucht sie seine Nähe auf. Der Tod von Kelly hat für eine Menge Veränderungen und Chaos in Avas Leben gesorgt – auf eine schlechte Weise. Dann aber soll Ava Gideon begegnen. Durch ihn wird ihr Leben nur noch mehr durcheinander gebracht. Schön durcheinander. Der Titel passt wirklich perfekt zu dieser Geschichte, ich liebe ihn.

Die Beziehung zwischen Ava und Gideon wird wundervoll und so berührend von der Autorin beschrieben. Da wir die Handlung im Wechsel aus den Sichten von Ava und Gideon erfahren, bekommen wir von beiden einen sehr tiefen Einblick in ihre Gefühls- und Gedankenwelt. Total unterhaltsam fand ich ihren Briefwechsel. Hach Leute, dieser ist so schön und herzallerliebst und irgendwie auch richtig witzig. Besonders die Briefe von Gideon haben mir ein breites Lächeln aufs Gesicht gezaubert.

Ich habe das Buch quasi inhaliert. Nicht, weil es so actionreich spannend war, nein, große Spannung ist hier nicht enthalten. Die Geschichte ist sehr ruhig und leise, aber dennoch wahnsinnig mitreißend. Zumindest war sie das für mich.
Es werden eine Menge schwerer, aber sehr wichtiger Themen angesprochen wie Tod, Trauer, Verlust, Mobbing, Depressionen, Suizid, Ängste und noch so einigem mehr. Ja, es hört sich nach viel an, aber die Story wirkt an keiner Stelle überladen an zu vielen Themen. Ich habe jedenfalls es nicht als too much empfunden. Für mich war hier alles stimmig und absolut perfekt.

Was ich auch nur loben kann, ist der Schreibstil. Er ist intensiv, flüssig, einfühlsam und liest so herrlich angenehm. Sehr gut gefallen hat mir auch, dass die Kapitel so schön kurz sind. Lange Kapitel kann ich ja gar nicht ab, kurze sind mir viel lieber.

„Du bringst mein Leben so schön durcheinander“ ist so ein Buch, bei dem ich den Eindruck habe, dass es bisher nicht die Aufmerksamkeit erhalten hat, die es verdient. Klar, es ist natürlich immer Geschmackssache, nicht jeder wird das Buch so lieben wie ich. Ich jedenfalls kann nur sagen: Wenn ihr auf der Suche nach einem Buch seid, das anders ist, das euch überrascht, das kein typisches Happy End am Ende hat, das von zwei ganz wundervollen jungen Menschen handelt und das voller Gefühl und Emotionen steckt – dann solltet ihr „Du bringst mein Leben so schön durcheinander“ unbedingt lesen! Ich kann es jedem wirklich nur ans Herz legen.

Fazit: „Du bringst mein Leben so schön durcheinander“ erzählt eine wunderschöne Geschichte über Liebe, Freundschaft, Schicksalsschläge, Wut, Trauer, Verlust, Selbstzweifeln und noch so vielem mehr! In meinen Augen ist Claire Christian hier ganz besonderes und unheimlich wichtiges Buch gelungen, welches ganz viel Aufmerksamkeit verdient und das ich jedem nur ans Herz legen kann. Für mich ist „Du bringst mein Leben so schön durcheinander“ ein absolutes Highlight, es hat mich auf eine emotionale Achterbahnfahrt der Gefühle mitgenommen, es hat mich nachdenklich gestimmt und mir die tollsten Lesestunden beschert! Hier vergebe ich sehr gerne volle 5 von 5 Sternen!
Profile Image for Jennifer.
344 reviews29 followers
April 17, 2018
"Maybe being bored is a good thing. Because what that actually means is that things aren't like they were. And that's all I ever really want, for things to never be like they were."

"I tend to not really make choices that are based on my own happiness and so I figured I'd start trying to do that a bit more."

"It doesn't feel exciting. It just feels...nothing. which completely freaks me out because what if it's not what I want? What if there is nothing to be excited about or look forward to anymore and what if this is the way I'm going to feel about things for the rest of my life?"

Soundtrack: Someone To You by Banners
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