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Black Girl In Love (with Herself): A Guide to Self-Love, Healing, and Creating the Life You Truly Deserve
Speaker, writer, and producer Trey Anthony breaks it down, giving black women a relatable voice and personalized "keeping it real" to-do list on how to practice self-love and self-care.
Therapy is not just for white women-no matter what your momma told you!
After a lifetime of never truly relating to the personal development experts because of the color of her skin, Trey Anthony has written the book she needed to read as a black woman trying to navigate a world filled with unique challenges that often acts like she doesn't exist.
On the outside Trey Anthony was the overachieving, reliable, and strong black woman she was raised to be, but on the inside the pressure of sacrificing her own needs to please others was building. When her grandmother and mother raised her strong, they also unknowingly taught her that self-love and expressing emotions were weak, creating an unhealthy dynamic that had Trey facing burnout and rock bottom.
In Black Girl in Love (with Herself), Trey breaks down the lessons and tools that she used to heal her life, including how to:
- Set clear and healthy boundaries-even with the people who raised you
- Quit being the family ATM
- Sort out who is a real friend, and who is just there for parties and gossip
- Confront microaggressions at work without missing a beat
- Forget who black women are "supposed" to be
And fall in love with yourself!
Therapy is not just for white women-no matter what your momma told you!
After a lifetime of never truly relating to the personal development experts because of the color of her skin, Trey Anthony has written the book she needed to read as a black woman trying to navigate a world filled with unique challenges that often acts like she doesn't exist.
On the outside Trey Anthony was the overachieving, reliable, and strong black woman she was raised to be, but on the inside the pressure of sacrificing her own needs to please others was building. When her grandmother and mother raised her strong, they also unknowingly taught her that self-love and expressing emotions were weak, creating an unhealthy dynamic that had Trey facing burnout and rock bottom.
In Black Girl in Love (with Herself), Trey breaks down the lessons and tools that she used to heal her life, including how to:
- Set clear and healthy boundaries-even with the people who raised you
- Quit being the family ATM
- Sort out who is a real friend, and who is just there for parties and gossip
- Confront microaggressions at work without missing a beat
- Forget who black women are "supposed" to be
And fall in love with yourself!
256 pages, Paperback
First published January 5, 2021
84 people are currently reading
412 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
December 1, 2023
I really am enjoying “Black girl in love with herself”, it’s different to the self help books I’ve read previously. I read a chapter a day, first thing in the morning. I love the notion of a different song to listen to every chapter, it’s really creative, and then the questions to answer at the end.
The first two chapters were really relatable, and really helped me to reflect on my own life, parents and friendship group.
The third chapter, really had me in my feelings, and made me reflect so much on my “friendship” group. Chapter 9 talking about letting people get in your head, was also a very relatable and helpful section of the book for me.
I could go on chapter by chapter, but I won’t. I would just recommend this book to everyone. I loved it, and read a chapter every morning to start my day of positive. Plus listening to the recommended song every morning do so much for your day.
Favourite Quotes:-
- “ I need to stop acting strong, I needed to all my friends know I wasn’t doing well.”
- “I was so desperate for someone to take care of me, and didn’t believe I was fully capable of doing those things for myself.”
- “There’s a lot to unpack about the heavy expectations levied on black women. They are the only flowers that are expected to blossom, despite not being watered.”
- “ but you will only truly heel if you have enough Love for yourself.”
The first two chapters were really relatable, and really helped me to reflect on my own life, parents and friendship group.
The third chapter, really had me in my feelings, and made me reflect so much on my “friendship” group. Chapter 9 talking about letting people get in your head, was also a very relatable and helpful section of the book for me.
I could go on chapter by chapter, but I won’t. I would just recommend this book to everyone. I loved it, and read a chapter every morning to start my day of positive. Plus listening to the recommended song every morning do so much for your day.
Favourite Quotes:-
- “ I need to stop acting strong, I needed to all my friends know I wasn’t doing well.”
- “I was so desperate for someone to take care of me, and didn’t believe I was fully capable of doing those things for myself.”
- “There’s a lot to unpack about the heavy expectations levied on black women. They are the only flowers that are expected to blossom, despite not being watered.”
- “ but you will only truly heel if you have enough Love for yourself.”
February 11, 2023
“Black girl in love (with herself)” is a part memoir, part self-help book helping block women learn to love themselves by sharing the painful process the author, Trey Anthony, went through on her journey to self-love.
The book consists of an introduction, sixteen chapters, an epilogue, a list of resources and support, acknowledgments, information about the author, and “Sis, Take Note” which is an area in the back of the book for the reader to make notes as they’re reading the book.
In the introduction, Trey shares how she had a seemingly perfect life as the first black woman in Canada to have her own TV show, having a loving fiancée that she was preparing to adopt a child with and how it all came tumbling down. In Trey’s brokenness, she decides to pick herself up, share her experience with the world, and create a new identity outside of her romantic relationship. The main purpose of this book is to help black women learn what to do when they don’t know how to love themselves or have forgotten how to love themselves and how to pick themselves up when they are beaten down by life.
In chapter one, the focus is on Trey's mother and how her Mom finds Trey’s job as a wellness expert hilarious and thinks that meditation, journaling, and yoga are things that white people do. When mother and younger sister come to visit after the implosion of Trey’s life, she reflects on how strong black women have been taught to be. Stress caused by lack of sleep, taking care of sick family members, and stress at multitasking lead to a medical emergency but instead of asking for help, Trey adds more to her workload. Eventually, Trey learns to find her own safe space to fall apart and be vulnerable as often as needed. Black women know how to be strong but not tender with themselves and each other.
In chapter two, the focus is on how the strong black woman trope does a disservice to all black women in that it leads to overwork, exhaustion, and an ignoring of feelings and/or medical issues. This chapter also focuses on the importance of having friends who can bear witness to you falling apart without judgement. I was especially fascinated by Trey’s experience with being vulnerable with her white female versus black women friends.
In chapter three, the focus is on the importance of having true friends and understanding that friendship is a give and take. Despite having supportive friends, Trey doesn't really trust that her closest friends would support her in times of crisis. I really liked how Trey explores three different type of friends: the camera-ready good-time friends, the bag-of-bad-news friends, and the drama Diana friend.
In chapter four, the focus is on the messiness of family and the importance of creating boundaries with family to protect one's own well-being. In addition, Trey shares her personal experience when enforcing boundaries and her family's anger at her taking time for her mental health.
In chapter five, the focus is on the perils of being the one in the family who’s “made it.” and being expected to be financially available to family and friends as a sign of success. Buying constantly supporting family financially, this is can be physically and emotionally exhausting as well as can lead to guilt from taking care of grown family members. While her words sting, such conversations are necessary to take full ownership of one's life and force independence for dependent family members.
In chapter six, the focus is on how black women in the workplace and shares how often black women overwork themselves due to being told at a young age that "you have to work twice as hard to get half of what they (white people) have." Unfortunately, the more successful black women are, the less likely they are to see other professional black women. Trey discusses black fatigue due to being black and how it slowly chips away at our souls then provide tips for doing with microaggressions while at work.
In chapter seven, the focus is on the importance of getting therapy while expressing the shame in the black community for going to therapy or publicly addressing mental health issues. In many black families, if you name it, you have to address it and most families would rather work around mental health issues than address it head on. Trey provides mental health suggestions such as meditation, exercise, getting hair done, journaling, getting a massage, having regular me time to feel one’s best self, and learning to have white space in your calendar to have time for self-care.
In chapter eight, the focus is on getting drama out of one’s life. In this chapter, Trey discusses different types of drama in life such as relationship, work, friendships, and family drama. A quote that really resonated with me in this chapter was that people will counsel from where they are, not where you are. Having said this, it’s best to work out relationship problems out among yourselves before seeking professional help.
In chapter nine, the focus is on how to better interact with family, friends, and other black women. This chapter discusses the importance of spending time with people you actually like, not those who can further your career or connect you to famous people. Other chapter highlights include own changing your mind, even if it makes sense to no one other than you, to go to the next level, you have to change and level some people behind, learn to celebrate all black women because when one woman wins, all women win.
In chapter ten, the focus is on mindset and the power of writing down goals and keeping the faith that they good things will happen. Trey shares a story of how she manifested a meeting with Oprah which didn’t go as planned. This chapter also highlights the importance of giving positive self-talk to oneself.
In chapter eleven, the focus is on love, sex, and intimacy as well as the importance of embracing sensuality and sexuality while dodging stereotypes of being too sexual, not sexual enough, or avoiding sex altogether. It was insightful to learn that intimacy can exist without having a partner and it’s important to know what you like so you can share it with your partner. Liked the suggestion for increasing intimacy with partner by scheduling an evening on intimacy in a nonsexual way.
In chapter twelve, the focus is on being vulnerable and not feeling shame in accepting help from others. Vulnerability is hard for some black women because they weren’t given role models who were vulnerable so it’s up to them to be our vulnerable selves. It is interesting to see a paradigm shift in Trey's family and that vulnerability can be taught at any age and children can be the biggest teacher.
In chapter thirteen, the focus is on religion and Trey’s relationship with Christianity as well as her embracing parts of various religions. Trey discusses that big role that church and God plays in the black community as well as how this relationship can lead to an unhealthy mindset. The chapter ends with the perspective that everyone has a purpose from God/Universe and it is important to not dwell in negativity.
In chapter fourteen, the focus is on the relationship between black fathers and black daughters as well as how this relates to self-love. Highlights different type of undesirable men such as the falling in love with his potential man, the man-child, Mr. Emotionally Unavailable. Trey encourages the reader to find a partner who brings something to the relationship, not someone who just take up space.
In chapter fifteen, the focus is on reconnecting with one’s inner child and accepting that those who raised us (parents, grandparents, etc.) were doing the best they could with what they had. Trey expresses the importance in showing grace to others and how exposing self to different types of parenting can help lead to breaking generational trauma and raising children who clearly notice when they are receiving mistreatment as adults.
In chapter sixteen, the focus on the importance of taking time to stop and notice the beauty of today. Highlight includes suggestion on embracing opportunities to add to beauty every day in one's life including noticing beauty in others, noticing beauty in ourselves, and beautifying one’s home. Trey expresses the importance of telling little black girls that they are beautiful as a way to empower them at an early age.
In the epilogue, Trey had done the work to love with herself despite experiencing heartache and joys. She has embraced her strengths and weaknesses while supported by friends and family. Trey has learned to not take herself too seriously as well as being open to whatever blessings the universe has in store for her. Highlights include, never give away power to love yourself to others, stop comparing your life to someone else’s timeline, choose themselves daily, cut off dead ends for growth, and accepts that as much as you try, sometimes you’ll succeed and sometimes you’ll fail.
As I finished the book, I appreciated Trey’s honesty as well as the suggested songs, list of questions and affirmations at the end of each chapter, and the list of resources (in the United States & Canada) for the reader to utilize. By reading this book, I feel empowered and encouraged to be vulnerable with those I trust and motivated to continue on my own journey of self-love and self-acceptance.
The book consists of an introduction, sixteen chapters, an epilogue, a list of resources and support, acknowledgments, information about the author, and “Sis, Take Note” which is an area in the back of the book for the reader to make notes as they’re reading the book.
In the introduction, Trey shares how she had a seemingly perfect life as the first black woman in Canada to have her own TV show, having a loving fiancée that she was preparing to adopt a child with and how it all came tumbling down. In Trey’s brokenness, she decides to pick herself up, share her experience with the world, and create a new identity outside of her romantic relationship. The main purpose of this book is to help black women learn what to do when they don’t know how to love themselves or have forgotten how to love themselves and how to pick themselves up when they are beaten down by life.
In chapter one, the focus is on Trey's mother and how her Mom finds Trey’s job as a wellness expert hilarious and thinks that meditation, journaling, and yoga are things that white people do. When mother and younger sister come to visit after the implosion of Trey’s life, she reflects on how strong black women have been taught to be. Stress caused by lack of sleep, taking care of sick family members, and stress at multitasking lead to a medical emergency but instead of asking for help, Trey adds more to her workload. Eventually, Trey learns to find her own safe space to fall apart and be vulnerable as often as needed. Black women know how to be strong but not tender with themselves and each other.
In chapter two, the focus is on how the strong black woman trope does a disservice to all black women in that it leads to overwork, exhaustion, and an ignoring of feelings and/or medical issues. This chapter also focuses on the importance of having friends who can bear witness to you falling apart without judgement. I was especially fascinated by Trey’s experience with being vulnerable with her white female versus black women friends.
In chapter three, the focus is on the importance of having true friends and understanding that friendship is a give and take. Despite having supportive friends, Trey doesn't really trust that her closest friends would support her in times of crisis. I really liked how Trey explores three different type of friends: the camera-ready good-time friends, the bag-of-bad-news friends, and the drama Diana friend.
In chapter four, the focus is on the messiness of family and the importance of creating boundaries with family to protect one's own well-being. In addition, Trey shares her personal experience when enforcing boundaries and her family's anger at her taking time for her mental health.
In chapter five, the focus is on the perils of being the one in the family who’s “made it.” and being expected to be financially available to family and friends as a sign of success. Buying constantly supporting family financially, this is can be physically and emotionally exhausting as well as can lead to guilt from taking care of grown family members. While her words sting, such conversations are necessary to take full ownership of one's life and force independence for dependent family members.
In chapter six, the focus is on how black women in the workplace and shares how often black women overwork themselves due to being told at a young age that "you have to work twice as hard to get half of what they (white people) have." Unfortunately, the more successful black women are, the less likely they are to see other professional black women. Trey discusses black fatigue due to being black and how it slowly chips away at our souls then provide tips for doing with microaggressions while at work.
In chapter seven, the focus is on the importance of getting therapy while expressing the shame in the black community for going to therapy or publicly addressing mental health issues. In many black families, if you name it, you have to address it and most families would rather work around mental health issues than address it head on. Trey provides mental health suggestions such as meditation, exercise, getting hair done, journaling, getting a massage, having regular me time to feel one’s best self, and learning to have white space in your calendar to have time for self-care.
In chapter eight, the focus is on getting drama out of one’s life. In this chapter, Trey discusses different types of drama in life such as relationship, work, friendships, and family drama. A quote that really resonated with me in this chapter was that people will counsel from where they are, not where you are. Having said this, it’s best to work out relationship problems out among yourselves before seeking professional help.
In chapter nine, the focus is on how to better interact with family, friends, and other black women. This chapter discusses the importance of spending time with people you actually like, not those who can further your career or connect you to famous people. Other chapter highlights include own changing your mind, even if it makes sense to no one other than you, to go to the next level, you have to change and level some people behind, learn to celebrate all black women because when one woman wins, all women win.
In chapter ten, the focus is on mindset and the power of writing down goals and keeping the faith that they good things will happen. Trey shares a story of how she manifested a meeting with Oprah which didn’t go as planned. This chapter also highlights the importance of giving positive self-talk to oneself.
In chapter eleven, the focus is on love, sex, and intimacy as well as the importance of embracing sensuality and sexuality while dodging stereotypes of being too sexual, not sexual enough, or avoiding sex altogether. It was insightful to learn that intimacy can exist without having a partner and it’s important to know what you like so you can share it with your partner. Liked the suggestion for increasing intimacy with partner by scheduling an evening on intimacy in a nonsexual way.
In chapter twelve, the focus is on being vulnerable and not feeling shame in accepting help from others. Vulnerability is hard for some black women because they weren’t given role models who were vulnerable so it’s up to them to be our vulnerable selves. It is interesting to see a paradigm shift in Trey's family and that vulnerability can be taught at any age and children can be the biggest teacher.
In chapter thirteen, the focus is on religion and Trey’s relationship with Christianity as well as her embracing parts of various religions. Trey discusses that big role that church and God plays in the black community as well as how this relationship can lead to an unhealthy mindset. The chapter ends with the perspective that everyone has a purpose from God/Universe and it is important to not dwell in negativity.
In chapter fourteen, the focus is on the relationship between black fathers and black daughters as well as how this relates to self-love. Highlights different type of undesirable men such as the falling in love with his potential man, the man-child, Mr. Emotionally Unavailable. Trey encourages the reader to find a partner who brings something to the relationship, not someone who just take up space.
In chapter fifteen, the focus is on reconnecting with one’s inner child and accepting that those who raised us (parents, grandparents, etc.) were doing the best they could with what they had. Trey expresses the importance in showing grace to others and how exposing self to different types of parenting can help lead to breaking generational trauma and raising children who clearly notice when they are receiving mistreatment as adults.
In chapter sixteen, the focus on the importance of taking time to stop and notice the beauty of today. Highlight includes suggestion on embracing opportunities to add to beauty every day in one's life including noticing beauty in others, noticing beauty in ourselves, and beautifying one’s home. Trey expresses the importance of telling little black girls that they are beautiful as a way to empower them at an early age.
In the epilogue, Trey had done the work to love with herself despite experiencing heartache and joys. She has embraced her strengths and weaknesses while supported by friends and family. Trey has learned to not take herself too seriously as well as being open to whatever blessings the universe has in store for her. Highlights include, never give away power to love yourself to others, stop comparing your life to someone else’s timeline, choose themselves daily, cut off dead ends for growth, and accepts that as much as you try, sometimes you’ll succeed and sometimes you’ll fail.
As I finished the book, I appreciated Trey’s honesty as well as the suggested songs, list of questions and affirmations at the end of each chapter, and the list of resources (in the United States & Canada) for the reader to utilize. By reading this book, I feel empowered and encouraged to be vulnerable with those I trust and motivated to continue on my own journey of self-love and self-acceptance.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 16, 2022
This book was incredibly healing.
I took Black Girl in Love (with Herself) with me on a recent self-care trip to Thailand and could not put it down. This book made me feel so seen and safe.
Trey Anthony is a Black queer author, playwright, life coach, and new mom. Her most recent book, written from a first person perspective is equal parts memoir, reflection, and guided offerings. Each chapter unpacks a theme that Black women commonly struggle with such as the strong Black woman trope, setting boundaries, overworking, and relationships with partners, co-workers, parents, and other Black women. After offering anecdotal stories and powerful words of wisdom, each section concludes with reflective questions and an accompanying affirmation.
I'm happy that I took my time with this book. I let the words soak in and I put effort into answering each question and genuinely saying each affirmation out loud. As a result, I feel like I've gained something from this book that I will continue to carry with me for years to come.
I took Black Girl in Love (with Herself) with me on a recent self-care trip to Thailand and could not put it down. This book made me feel so seen and safe.
Trey Anthony is a Black queer author, playwright, life coach, and new mom. Her most recent book, written from a first person perspective is equal parts memoir, reflection, and guided offerings. Each chapter unpacks a theme that Black women commonly struggle with such as the strong Black woman trope, setting boundaries, overworking, and relationships with partners, co-workers, parents, and other Black women. After offering anecdotal stories and powerful words of wisdom, each section concludes with reflective questions and an accompanying affirmation.
I'm happy that I took my time with this book. I let the words soak in and I put effort into answering each question and genuinely saying each affirmation out loud. As a result, I feel like I've gained something from this book that I will continue to carry with me for years to come.
March 30, 2021
I was not familiar with the work of Trey Anthony when I picked this up from the library. Let me just say that reads like biography more than an actual self help title. The "lessons" are so specific to Anthony's experiences that I don't think I got much (except annoyance) from the obvious declarations like "have boundaries" and "if you're rich you shouldn't pay for everything" and "don't overwork yourself" and "get therapy if you're depressed."
Let me save you time: first step to true self love, especially as a Black woman, is to truly respect yourself and be willing to be there for yourself the way you'd be for anyone else.
Let me save you time: first step to true self love, especially as a Black woman, is to truly respect yourself and be willing to be there for yourself the way you'd be for anyone else.
February 9, 2021
This was a good, positive read. Loved the affirmations! But, please stop over using "sis." And, the Oprah obsession was a bit much.
February 26, 2021
This book is magic in 256 pages. Trey does a fantastic job creating a piece of work that dives deep into what it means to be a Black girl and woman - and underscores the complexities of our lived experiences. Every single chapter was relatable. Every single chapter made me reflect on my own life. Every single chapter challenged me to really work through my inner s*** and heal myself so "I leave other people better than I found them." This is divine intervention for sure. I've been on a personal journey to heal my life and find peace within. This is my compass. Thank you, Trey. This is beautiful work.
June 21, 2021
This book did take me quite of bit of time to read. I decided to read this book because I am currently going through a "turning point" in my life and I thought this book might help and give me some goo insight. I was right. Reading this book was like getting advise from an older sister or an auntie. Someone who loves you and wants the best for you but also doesn't have time for nonsense. I related to everything Trey (the author) said. Each chapter spoke to me in a different way. I like the fact that the author included questions at the end of each chapter that made you look at yourself and your actions.
This is probably a book that I will re-read several years from now, just to "check in" with myself.
This is probably a book that I will re-read several years from now, just to "check in" with myself.
January 31, 2023
I would recommend this book to any black woman to focus on themselves and develop a self-care/ self-love routine. this book hits differently because it is written by a black woman and it is relatable even though the author is Jamaican and I'm black American it resonates because we have similar experiences. it's not a technical read it's funny and also it can call you out at times but for good reason. I picked this book up because I wanted to reinvigorate my care and self-love routine. this is a book you want to keep on the Shelf so you can come back to it because we are human sometimes we will fall off our routines. This book has me excited to be as radical as possible in loving myself.
August 7, 2021
Great book! This book will definitely allow you to reflect on your life and examine where you are dropping the ball, and work on it in a gentle, self-loving, and forgiving manner. Short and sweet.
March 8, 2021
I picked up this book randomly, as I often do, without any previous knowledge of the author. I feel like she put a lot of personality into this book & if I was more familiar with her I would've probably understood better her frequent use of "sis" & such. That being said, I still really enjoyed the book. I related to a lot of things, appreciated her honesty & took several photos of pages that I wanted to reference again.
March 23, 2024
First self help book of the year and it didn’t disappoint! Every young woman should read this book. I loveeee the personal anecdotes. It didn’t feel like those other self help books. It was very transparent and it felt like I was talking to one of my sistas and close friends. I LOVE the song recommendations at the beginning of each chapter I love the affirmations and talking points at the end the of each chapter! I would recommend this to any young woman to make sure she’s always in love with herself!
October 1, 2022
I lovedddd this book. Read it September 2022 for my book club and we had the author on with us. It was refreshing reading a self-help geared towards black women. And it wasn’t like “you should do x,y,z”.. it was storytelling with suggestions. I appreciated that a lot. Would definitely recommend this book to my friends.
February 18, 2024
Half a memoir half self help book with guided questions and affirmations at the end of the chapter. It is hard to put my finger on why it was so 'meh' for me.... nothing earth shattering in the realm of self-help, and the stories were good, but I didn't know the author, so I wasn't super invested, and the way it was written didn't hook me.
Not great 😕
Not great 😕
May 31, 2022
I really enjoyed this book. Trey did a great job using her life story to mirror how black women can take care of themselves through the ups and downs in life! The journal prompts at the end of wax h chapter are a lovely extension to the book!
October 23, 2022
I am a girl who is learning to love herself.
I am not black.
I have done inner child work.
This book was a quick read.
I recommend this book to any woman who is re building their life and learning to love themselves.
I am not black.
I have done inner child work.
This book was a quick read.
I recommend this book to any woman who is re building their life and learning to love themselves.
December 31, 2022
I laughed. I cried. I checked myself. I also had several AHA and I know that’s right moments. I intentional chose those book as my last read of the year. So glad I did. 10/10 most definitely would recommend.
February 2, 2021
I absolutely loved this book! Every page was relatable and made me feel less alone in my struggles.
February 11, 2021
A beautifully written book about loving yourself. It was a nice touch that after each chapter there were affirmations.
March 5, 2021
Loved reading this along with listening to the Audible version. I appreciated the transparency she shared with us. Her delivery was relatable and down to earth. This is a must read !
August 2, 2022
Love It. I think every black woman should read or listen to this! (the audiobook is read by the author and it is GOOD!)
September 1, 2022
This is a book I'd like to buy and come back to over and over! She give such insightful advice and great journaling prompts.
January 4, 2023
A must read for black women! I listened to the audiobook & I may start it over. Very insightful!
January 23, 2023
I was so in tune with this book, it such a good read esp when you dealing with so many emotions and pressure and need to understand oneself. This will put you at ease.
August 8, 2025
I loved the affirmations at the end of each chapter. This book showed me that it’s important to always put yourself first.
September 18, 2025
This self-help book resonated with me deeply. I felt understood and supported by the author's words, like a caring friend offering guidance.
November 30, 2021
Trey is an amazing writer. She shared her story to help women like me.
I couldn’t put this book down. I felt seen. I felt understood. Trey was able to put my feelings into words. This book caused so many emotions because of her transparency.
I would love more books from her. I NEVER read books again. I will definitely read this again
I couldn’t put this book down. I felt seen. I felt understood. Trey was able to put my feelings into words. This book caused so many emotions because of her transparency.
I would love more books from her. I NEVER read books again. I will definitely read this again
February 16, 2025
Structure would be good
I wasn’t familiar with Trey Anthony when I read this book. I found out that she is quite accomplished. The book reads like an autobiography, which isn’t a bad thing. The problem with this is some of us of a certain age need a bit of structure in our self-help books. Judging from all of the reviews, the way this book is written benefits a lot of people. And that’s a good thing. Just not for me. btw the book talks about Oprah. A lot. I found some tidbits in the book that are noteworthy, not earth shattering.
But I digress.
Many of the lessons while relatable to a lot of people, myself included, appeared to be specific to Anthony. The story is good and lot of people of color (myself included) have life experiences similar to Anthony. For this reason, it was hard for me to flesh out the ‘help’ from how Anthony’s biography is intertwined in the book.This book didn’t hook me. While there is good guidance in this book, self-love and self respect should be the overarching goals.
I wasn’t familiar with Trey Anthony when I read this book. I found out that she is quite accomplished. The book reads like an autobiography, which isn’t a bad thing. The problem with this is some of us of a certain age need a bit of structure in our self-help books. Judging from all of the reviews, the way this book is written benefits a lot of people. And that’s a good thing. Just not for me. btw the book talks about Oprah. A lot. I found some tidbits in the book that are noteworthy, not earth shattering.
But I digress.
Many of the lessons while relatable to a lot of people, myself included, appeared to be specific to Anthony. The story is good and lot of people of color (myself included) have life experiences similar to Anthony. For this reason, it was hard for me to flesh out the ‘help’ from how Anthony’s biography is intertwined in the book.This book didn’t hook me. While there is good guidance in this book, self-love and self respect should be the overarching goals.
January 15, 2021
“If you want to know about a black woman, touch her hair, ‘cause that’s where we carry all our hurts, hopes, dreams, and disappointments.”
Healing doesn’t come easy, especially when you are a Black girl. The constant facade of being stone on the outside but broken in a million pieces on the inside persists. The world always telling us that our healing and our mental health are not priorities but instead, we are expected to clutch to our martyr narrative. A narrative that hasn’t worked, that’s not working nor will it work in the future. In this book, Trey Anthony takes a look at what healing actually looks like for Black women and how we can overcome the obstacles in our way to become the best version of ourselves. What I loved most about this book is that it felt as though you were getting advice from a sister with realness, vulnerability and most of all love. If you are on a journey of healing or growth you need to read this book, so many gems.
Healing doesn’t come easy, especially when you are a Black girl. The constant facade of being stone on the outside but broken in a million pieces on the inside persists. The world always telling us that our healing and our mental health are not priorities but instead, we are expected to clutch to our martyr narrative. A narrative that hasn’t worked, that’s not working nor will it work in the future. In this book, Trey Anthony takes a look at what healing actually looks like for Black women and how we can overcome the obstacles in our way to become the best version of ourselves. What I loved most about this book is that it felt as though you were getting advice from a sister with realness, vulnerability and most of all love. If you are on a journey of healing or growth you need to read this book, so many gems.
August 6, 2021
A must read!
As a black woman, this book truly spoke to me. It touches on many topics that many of us growing up in black households don't discuss. However, so many of those things that happened to us as children along with this society that we live in truly shape how we as black woman view ourselves. This book has opened my eyes and makes me want to love and cherish myself as well as other black woman.
As a black woman, this book truly spoke to me. It touches on many topics that many of us growing up in black households don't discuss. However, so many of those things that happened to us as children along with this society that we live in truly shape how we as black woman view ourselves. This book has opened my eyes and makes me want to love and cherish myself as well as other black woman.
June 15, 2021
I Loved This Book
This book saw me; it READ me; it affirmed, and critiqued, as well as opened the door for exploration of, me. I really appreciate the author’s vulnerability, as well as the wide scope she subjected her and us (the sisterhood) as Selves, as analytic lens. Highly rector any “seeking” Black femme!
This book saw me; it READ me; it affirmed, and critiqued, as well as opened the door for exploration of, me. I really appreciate the author’s vulnerability, as well as the wide scope she subjected her and us (the sisterhood) as Selves, as analytic lens. Highly rector any “seeking” Black femme!
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