A Serial Killer's Daughter: My Story of Faith, Love, and Overcoming

by Kerri Rawson

Now a New York Times Bestseller! Now in tradepaper.

What is it like to learn that your ordinary, loving father is a serial killer?

 In 2005, Kerri Rawson heard a knock on the door of her apartment. When she opened it, an FBI agent informed her that her father had been arrested for murdering ten people, including two children. It was then that she learned her father was the notorious serial killer known as BTK, a name he’d given himself that described the horrific way he committed his crimes: bind, torture, kill. As news of his capture spread, Wichita celebrated the end of a thirty-one-year nightmare.

 For Kerri Rawson, another was just beginning. She was plunged into a black hole of horror and disbelief. The same man who had been a loving father, a devoted husband, church president, Boy Scout leader, and a public servant had been using their family as a cover for his heinous crimes since before she was born. Everything she had believed about her life had been a lie.

Written with candor and extraordinary courage, A Serial Killer’s Daughter is an unflinching exploration of life with one of America’s most infamous killers and an astonishing tale of personal and spiritual transformation. For all who suffer from unhealed wounds or the crippling effects of violence, betrayal, and anger, Kerri Rawson’s story offers the hope of reclaiming sanity in the midst of madness, rebuilding a life in the shadow of death, and learning to forgive the unforgivable.

“No easy answers here. No platitudes. Only raw honesty, written with the gracious authority of one who has glimpsed hell. Kerri Rawson shares her earned wisdom and a hope that has been bought with tears and nightmares. This book is a gritty must-read in the library of hope.”

—Paul J. Pastor, author of The Face of the Deep and The Listening Day

Genres: True Crime, Nonfiction, Memoir, Audiobook, Crime, Biography, Biography Memoir

336 pages, Paperback

First published January 29, 2019

About the author

Kerri Rawson is the daughter of Dennis Rader, better known to the world as the serial killer BTK. Since her father's arrest, Kerri has been an advocate for victims of abuse, crime, and trauma, sharing her journey of hope, healing, faith, and forgiveness. She lives with her husband, two children, and two cats in Michigan. 

Reviews

[AMANDA · Rating 1 out of 5]

Kerri Rawson, who, of course, is the daughter of Dennis Rader aka the BTK serial killer, starts off her book well enough, offering a concise history of her family and her parents' relationship up til when Kerri and her brother are born. She then begins to recount her childhood, spending chapters upon chapters narrating her vivid memories of camping and hiking trips with her family/father.

It quickly became less a memoir centered on a daughter of a notorious serial killer contrasting the memories she had of the father she thought she knew and the horrendous secret life he had behind everyone's back, and more of a long-winded chronicle of her teenage angst and journey to finding god. I'm not exaggerating when I say that this book is basically a christian memoir.

I'm not going to knock her for her faith, especially if it helped her find peace after her father was revealed to be BTK. I just have a personal aversion to organized religion, and the overabundance of christian-talk throughout the book didn't sit well with me - especially in terms of expecting this to be more centered on life with her father, and also because it felt like I was witnessing someone's testimony, which is not something I would voluntarily do.

Additionally, her tone in regards to a few things was a bit questionable, to say the least. One thing that particularly stood out to me was how she'd write entire passages describing random bits of her childhood or teenage years (often with barely a mention of her father) and then ended the chapter(s) with a sentence that went along the lines of 'and in whatever-year or whatever-month, my dad killed this person'. It seemed very flippant to me the way she talked about her father's victims, and I ended up with the impression that Kerri viewed herself almost like more of a victim than them. That's a harsh thing to say, I know, but that feeling was cemented for me toward the end of the book when she -finally on topic- recounts her father's sentencing hearing. She writes about being upset that the prosecution didn't get permission from her family to present a detailed account of her father's crimes to the public in order to aid in his sentencing, and rather, only asked for the approval of the families of the victims. I'll quote her directly...

"Considering my dad's narrow telling, the public's need to hear the full truth, and the victims' families rights to closure, the prosecutors decided to go forward with a full disclosure of my dad's reign of terror. They checked with the victims' families before proceeding, making sure they were okay with a full release of the evidence. None of them objected. But the prosecution didn't check in with this family. The eighth family." She then goes on to ask the reader, " Wouldn't it embarrass my family further? Shame us? Hurt us?"

How incredibly selfish.

Unfortunately, Kerri Rawson doesn't have a lot of insight to offer about her father's life and having grown up as his daughter, and that's not because she doesn't actually have any, she just chooses to focus on other things, such as her religious journey and the camping trips that led her to finding god. This is hardly a book about what it is like to be a serial killer's daughter and it's very far away from being the book it's advertised as.

For true crime books that are written by family members of the perpetrators of famous crimes, that are both more insightful and dignified, I'd highly recommend A Father's Story by Lionel Dahmer (Jeffrey Dahmer's father) as well as A Mother's Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy by Sue Klebold, the mother of Dylan Klebold.

[melinda · Rating 1 out of 5]

should’ve been filed as some religious memoir

[Lisa Elizabeth · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was really boring. I kept losing interest. I didn’t need to know the minute details of a summer camping trip in the early 90s to understand that BTK masqueraded as a good father for decades. I wanted to hear about the process of reconciling the father and the serial killer. That’s why I wanted to read this book. However, I don’t need the author’s entire life story to get there.

—-

I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. I was not paid for this review.

[Fleeno · Rating 1 out of 5]

I hated this book more than words can say. If it were possible to give negative stars I would. I was expecting a books about what it was like to find out you've been living with a sadistic murderer and share DNA with a monster but instead it is more like someone's journey to christianity and someone who I don't think I like very much at all.

The clincher for me was when she expressed hurt that when it came time for her father's sentencing they decided to present evidence of the crime to satisfy thethe public and give closure to the victims families. They checked with the victims families but not one checked with HER family! Wouldn't it embarrass their family? Hurt them? Probably, but fuck Kerri, it isn't about you! Maybe, just maybe the victims and their families are the most important people to consider in a trial.

Rawson doesnt seem to have a lot of insight into her father's behaviour and it is unclear if she is just clueless or if she wants the world to see her father in a different light. At one point she says "He was never abusive, but he did try to strangle my brother twice"??? Oh sure, that's not abusive at all. She talks about her father being a pressure cooker and needing to monitor him in case he went off but never says what happened when he actually went off. Most of the book is spent painting a portrait of a normal, boring family with a father that was very concerned with their safety and wellbeing, with no warning signs that her father was BTK. There may have been no signs that he was a killer but his letters show a manipulative personality and I wonder how on earth he possibly hid that personality for 30 years. How did he never let the mask slip? Or maybe he did when he tried to strangle her brother and it just isn't mentioned.

Rawson has obviously found solace in her faith and that's great, it's fantastic she found it in her heart to forgive her father but while she focuses so much on her family, there is little concern for the families of the victims. It all felt very self involved - he murdered someone whose house had the same floor plan as their house, did he hide in the room that was hers? Did he go shopping for supplies with her? She went bowling, was that the same bowling bag he used on a murder? He used the car she learned to drive in, she used to move in. I get that you might think these things but it is all a lot of me me me and not a lot of the victims. In fact it is only when her father gives his finale statement and refers to the family as social contacts that she cuts off contact. That's the point you cut off contact? When it becomes obvious to her that he doesn't care about them? Not when its obvious he murdered 10 people??

The book also includes letters to and from her father with some fantastic quotes- "We're all so sorry you have been living with what you've been living with for so long"...yeah dad, sorry you're a sadistic murderer and you had to keep that a secret for so long. My favourite though, "We refuse to let the bad stuff win. Mum shared 34 good years with you, Brian 29 years and me 26 years. We're trying to hold on to that and not let the other stuff define you or us. You should not let it define you either. You're stronger and better than that. I love you and I know you're trying to do the right thing. I'm truly sorry your life has turned out this way." You know what. If someone brutally murders 10 people then that should be the defining part of their life.

There are people in this world who focus so much on forgiveness and the Christian thing to do they concentrate almost solely on perpetrators of crimes and very little on the victims and that's where I feel Rawson is at. I mean maybe she resolved all of my issues with the book in last chapters but I fell asleep listening to audible. The narrator was God awful and slow, I had to increase the speed to almost double before she didn't sound like she was speaking to naughty children. When I woke up she was whining about something or other and I decided not to bother with the hour or so I missed or the last hour, cos by that point I just didnt care anymore. Also, she put shit on Stephen King for basing his story The Good Marriage on BTK and perhaps she should give Uncle Stevie a break and put shit on her dad for killing 10 people instead.

[Jadrian Wooten · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm mad at myself for not quitting this book.

[Noorilhuda · Rating 1 out of 5]

No one should buy or pick this book up. It’s an attempt to profit from the infamy of being BTK’s daughter and make a bit of money on the side by playing the victim card. An infuriating read. An apologist manual. Also a self-pitying exercise. Apart from great denial and support for BTK which oozes from every pore of this woman and her mother and in fact her entire family. Yes, Kerrie Lynn Rawson did not endear herself to me, neither did her extended family. Her first letter to her incarcerated ‘dad’ whom she hasn’t spoken to or met since the holy-crap revelation and arrest, starts rather mundanely with the usual ‘family stuff’ of where everyone is at and doing what, assures him that everyone is doing okay, convinces him that she was not the one to turn him in or betray him, as a message of solidarity, and how sorry she and everyone is that he has been living in such pain (aka his crimes) for so long (!) and that she hopes he is treated fairly, with compassion and she is sorry ‘dad’ is alone in fighting this trial and wants him to know that she hasn’t abandoned him, but will visit or call when she’s ‘ready’. Normal stuff. Yes, that’s the letter a serial killer’s daughter would write.

This puke-inducing candy floss exchange occurs on pages 181-182 and the pattern follows till the end with a rose-colored letter-writing competition between ‘dad’ and daughter. Hallmark Greetings. Even at the end of the book when the daughter tries to feign anger at the father in one of the letters, it is done as if the ‘dad’ had merely gone off his rocker, had an allergic reaction to his circumstances, some childhood abuse no one can find, and snapped, been essentially a mere ‘bad boy’.

My anger is not directed at the book because the family must have known or had an inkling of the predilections of the man they loved (because seriously, who can imagine living with the most-wanted murderer who stalks, tortures and strangles women over lunch breaks or Boy Scout camp retreats?), rather it’s their actions/ reactions after they find out that really are very telling. BTK was not the only one wearing a mask in that family. Buying and reading this book means you are acknowledging that this family deserves sympathy (and extra money). They don’t.

One of my many problems with this narrative is that the daughter and her entire family whom she is obviously close to, did not even once ask the ‘dad’ ARE YOU REALLY BTK, did not even once question this ‘dad’ WHY, and the ‘dad’ never once tried to explain anything to them either, and none of them felt sorry or said sorry to the actual victims’ families. What kind of looney bin is this? Instead the daughter is angry at how the FBI revealed her ‘dad’s other life’ to her, how FBI ‘tricked her into giving a DNA sample’ (!) She wants therapy to talk over her childhood issues as if she had an ominous inkling over the threat that lived under her roof but which she couldn’t decipher (seems the ‘dad’ is not the only one suffering from delusions of grandeur). And she conveniently skims over the entirety of any conversation the family must have had after his arrest with each other and him, his past, present, his sex life, the killings, method, the awfulness of it all, what the cops and his psychologists spoke to them about different events and cases, what his son and wife must have asked him, if not the daughter, or did everyone’s brains went to pasture simultaneously in a land far far away? Instead, a pastor is brought in to cushion the blow for the family and to make life easier for BTK, so that everyone can cruise their way around the elephant in the room. No one asks ‘dad’ Who are you? How could you do this? How could you do this to us? Who are we and what were the murdered women to you? Did you ever think of killing us? Did he ever beat mom in bed or lose temper with men? His friends? His brothers? No. No one goes through any Q&A. Instead, the daughter has the gall to declare her family as his eighth victim (!) Can someone please tell her she is not an actual victim? I don’t for a second believe that the family did not know BTK would have to talk about his crimes in court after pleading guilty - they knew, that’s why his family wasn’t in court, and all the victims’ families were. If they cared about the murdered, they would have shown up. If BTK’s family really thought they themselves were victims, they would have shown up. Instead, they all hid in shame so that media could not capture their faces while continuing to write kind poetic letters to ‘dad’! Further on, the daughter is angry that prosecution did not ‘ask her family’s permission’ or ‘prepare the family’ before giving the entirety of the sadistic evidence against her father in court at the time of his sentencing - even though none of them was present, so technically she should not even care! I think it incredibly selfish, narcissistic and demeaning of the daughter to say or expect that. She didn’t attend the two-day hearing, but took time to read about it on the net later on, and feels justified in feeling betrayed by prosecution! This in spite of the fact that she already knew what BTK was, and did, and knew her father was BTK and not a grocery store thief.

This book is selective memory and eulogy, as if her suffering is greater than, if not equal to, that of the dead and their families. A little bit of empathy is all it takes, even if it is for public consumption and a book tour, but no. What the daughter does show in this 336 page opus, is the need for self-centered appraisal and gloating attention to her mental problems without reflection or retribution - almost like her father. What she shows is that this family is as big a coward as the guy who betrayed them.

And you know what the clinker is: once a strange, anonymous FBI guy is on her doorstep to tell her that her ‘dad’ is BTK, she never once says, ‘no, you are wrong, you’ve got the wrong guy, my dad isn’t the sort, he’s a nice guy, he wouldn’t hurt a fly.’ She does it only when her husband gets home and she has had time to think that yeah, this actually is true and is in disbelief over the enormity of what that means - for her. She doesn’t call her mom. And starts asking when all the victims were killed and tries to correspond the family activity with it - and brings her broken arm into it - an incident she comes back to repeatedly in this book (Fact: Broken Arm is mentioned 4 times: pgs. 25, 129, 143, 211. Her Night Terrors since childhood are mentioned 11 times: pgs. 25, 109, 120, 155, 195, 196, 268, 273, 281, 282, 293, 317; The murdered are mentioned as ‘victims’ 11 times; One of them, Mrs. Hedge, is mentioned 22 times; One creepy chapter - 37 - notes where the family was when each killing occurred - sounds sensationalistic, but doesn’t highlight anything of significance, you can get more in forensics or true crime series) - when the only two things that were really important were asked by the FBI: your father collects and stores stuff at home, doesn’t he? and may I have your DNA sample? Again, she never once asks him why FBI needs it, or why he is asking about the storage unit.

I was surprised just like everyone else when BTK turned out to be a church leader, Boy Scout, military-background, home-security-alarms professional, long-married father of two, a collector of stamps and quarters and aficionado of astronomy, birds and hiking. He was the epitome of a seemingly well-adjusted normal family man. Not a loner with sexual problems; blue collared with a dysfunctional family full of mental illness; man with mommy issues living in a decaying house. Nothing. But all the questions that come in the minds of normal functioning people, especially after the grenade disclosures, and the self-analysis that goes with it, never came in the minds of his family. Instead, they wrote this book lamenting the unfairness of their new life. And talk about a broken arm and night terrors.

The ‘dad’ confesses to police without ever first talking to any member of his family (I don’t know what he did with his one phone call) - and that tells you a lot about this guy’s relationship with his family. And when the daughter is told this, she never once asks FBI that she’d like to talk to her dad or could someone from the family be allowed to talk to him. More evidence of creepy? Read the correspondence between ‘dad’ and daughter. It makes you think the ‘dad’ is Nicholas Cage from Con Air, serving out a wrongful manslaughter conviction and the seven-year old daughter is writing about bullies at school and concerned for her daddy far away from home. From pages 181-336, narcissism, entitlement and immaturity run free - both ways. It’s all in extremely bad taste. Mom is talking to ‘dad’ about pleasantries. The serial killer’s family wants him dressed ‘appropriately’ for his trial, no orange jumpsuit, so Uncle Bob, BTK’s brother, selects a suit. The daughter does not want ‘dad’ to get any bad news about Grandma or mom’s foot injury. She wants him to be careful who he writes to in fan mail lest it sends the wrong message out there or “hurts your case in court”. She wants ‘dad’ to stay strong and healthy (because gee, if a serial killer doesn’t have his health, what does he have?!) After his conviction, she and her husband watch the TV movie ‘The Hunt for the BTK Killer’ and she doesn’t like who plays her father. She quotes a Holocaust survivor to refer to her feelings about her ‘dad’. She is not angry that her father killed people mercilessly, or at all, she’s just miffed he called her a ‘social contact’ in front of the judge and by extension, the world. She thinks he’ll go to heaven because he asked God’s forgiveness (and not the victims’). I sat and read in disbelief.

Plus, considering how the daughter is enraged at and condescending of the media presence and coverage, she is callously exploiting the need to know/ decipher BTK aka her ‘dad,’ through this book. I hope the advance was worth it. That BTK is a rage-oholic control-freak, obsessed with his own mythology and celebrity-status, is a given, but his daughter and family come across as similar too. She talks of privacy and sheltering the family, and the threat of ‘family pictures’ making it to news or ebay, but they are all on display for a buck right here! She wouldn't mind Oprah calling now, would she? I guess, 'dad' is not the only actor in the family. What’s more? ‘Dad’ has given permission to the daughter for the reproduction of his nine letters given in the book - which means the daughter has told him about her book-publishing intentions - which means he has more than heaven to look forward to.

My guess is this book is written in part to please ‘dad’ and make a bit on the side. An attempt to mock the pain of the actual victims’ families and mock the curiosity of every ‘stranger’ who has wondered about BTK and his family. Instead of coming across as ‘we are not our father, brother, husband, son’ it comes across as ‘who do you think you are to point a finger at us’ kind of an effort. It’s an attempt to give voice to and humanize the serial killer and his thoughts: what his daughter has chosen to share with public is deeply insensitive. He writes on his arraignment: “let’s get the dog and pony show on the road”; On relations with his fellow inmates: “I’ve gotten respect of the Pod / Dirty Dozen”, “the guards like me”; On his trial: “I’m so tired of Boot Camp 101, ready for closure, what a mess for us”; On life in prison: “Bible and Christians are my new friends”; On family occasions: “need to design a birthday and wedding anniversary card”, “your mother has not sent a thank you even though I sent a birthday card”; On the house being sold, both ignoring how he also killed while living there and hid trophies: “sad about the house, all those loving years there”, “defense did not tell me about the lien on the house, I trust no one in the legal system anymore”; His plea for a better treatment: “I will need monetary funds for books, magazines, hobby supplies, mailing items…..bottom line, either the family support me or I will have to create another support system”, “my art is improving and everyone want some poem from me”; His fears for children: “I would wish no harm to you but some crazy individual might try something”; His future plans: “In the event of my death, I wish to be cremated and ashes spread in Flint Hills….it’s nice to know where you will be at and in God’s hands,” “someday we will meet again on the other side of the River.”

This book adds to the kind of notoriety BTK loved and the boogeyman he wanted to come across as. Don’t feed this monster like his family has. Don’t feed the egos of his family either. The daughter of a serial killer should not profit from his story or her relation to him. Don’t buy or read this book.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is a serious and terrible sorrow when others must carry the burden and fall-out of someone else’s criminal acts. “The Serial Killer’s Daughter: My Story of Faith, Love, and Overcoming” (2019) fortunately is a rare and highly articulate memoir written by Kerri Rawson. Rawson’s father, Dennis Radner, the self-identified BTK, ruthlessly murdered 10 people, (2 victims were children) in Wichita, KS. (1974-1991). Radner is serving 10 consecutive life sentences for these crimes in the Kansas El Dorado Correctional Facility.

In February 2005, Rawson called her husband Darian to let him know that a man was outside their Michigan apartment building clearly looking at their window, she was frightened, until the man identified himself at her door as an FBI agent. Unable to call her mother, or other family members, she learned the horrific truth that her father was apprehended for the notorious BTK crimes that for decades had terrorized residents of her Kansas home town. Her seemingly loving devoted father was a married family man, a military veteran, a dedicated church official and Boy Scout leader-- the BTK monster committed multiple heinous murders, he was believed to live in the community undetected for decades, leaving clues and taunting the authorities. Rawson’s life would never be the same after she learned her father’s vile and sickening truth: that he confessed to the BTK murderers. The shock and terror of her father’s crimes would haunt Rawson, her family, friends, associates, and community for years afterward. Rawson experienced symptoms of severe anxiety from trauma, depression, and PTSD.
Although Rawson suffered from occasional night terrors as a child, her life had been normal and ordinary. Enjoying a close relationship with her parents; she did well in school, and went camping and hiking with her father and brother. In her teens, she turned to her Christian faith and spirituality to sustain her in grief after the death of her beloved cousin, Michelle (1996). Many parts of the book read like a novel, slowing the storyline down somewhat, yet there is no correct way to tell a story like this.

Rawson was especially careful to tell only her story, there is little written about her mother Paula, who was granted a quick divorce from her husband (m.1971- 2005) without the customary waiting period. Unable to sell the family home, an unidentified buyer bought the property and the house was torn down. Several years would pass without Rawson writing to her father as she engaged the necessary services of a specialized trauma therapist. Rawson also wrote about avoiding the shadows of silence and shame, of further spirituality, forgiveness and mercy, as her courageous journey of healing moved forward. Rawson graduated from Kansas State University, she and her husband Darian live in Michigan with their two young children. ** With thanks and appreciation to Thomas Nelson Books via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review

[alittlelifeofmel · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars.

I will always forgive memoirs for things I would not forgive a novel for. The reasoning being: people who write memoirs are not authors. They are in the sense that they've published and written a book, but this isn't their job, this is them telling their story to the world. So while yes, I had some issues, I also didn't really let them affect my reading.

I'll start off with my minimal issues before I get into the things I really enjoyed.
This was a bit too heavy on the religion for my tastes. Kerri Rawson is a very devoted to religion, something I have no issues with, so this wasn't unexpected from the book. While I wasn't fond of it, I never found myself wishing I wasn't reading those parts, wanting to skip them, or being bored/irritated. I actually found it really interesting to read about her journey to recovery and what specific bible verses helped her.
There was also a lot of repetition in this book. Again, it didn't really bother me and I was able to enjoy everything regardless, but I was aware of it at times.

Now, the good.

This was a really well done memoir. I felt her emotions, I felt her pain, I empathized and sympathized with her, which is something few authors manage to make me do. I kept picturing how I'd react to finding this out about someone I loved, and it just was unfathomable. I liked the acknowledgement that her family was also a victim, their family was also ruined by this crime. People tend to overlook these innocent family members, but they exist and they're hurt too. It really added a third element to crime that wasn't really something I ever thought about before.

Kerri would also add some really hard hitting moments in this in really subtle ways. It is clear it was the effect she was going for, but she achieved them well. She would often talk about really good things that happened in her life at a given time, and then finish off that story with the point that her father murdered someone the next day. She would talk about the last time she ever hugged her dad, standing on the floorboard he kept his trophies under. Again, it really puts it into perspective how absolutely monumental of a life change you'd have to go through in order to move on.

She was so candid and open about the book, honest in ways and about things that could have angry parents, etc, emailing her about, but I appreciated it.

I won't lie, I went into this book because who doesn't want to read about what it's like to find out your dad is BTK, but I left this book feeling a deep connection to a woman I've never met, and wanting to cheer her on for everything she's overcome, all her struggles, and her perseverance.

Lastly, a little note, I so appreciate her husband. He stuck with her, supported her, and loved her through everything she went through. I know we didn't get all the details, but there were so many small moments in this that I couldn't help but think "I am so glad she had a man like this."

[♥ Marlene♥ · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not sure if I can finish this because I am so bored by it it makes me fall asleep. She talks about her father a bit but she talks about her faith so much more.I should have known looking at the title. That being said her life is not anything special except for the disgusting cruel things her cowardly father did. This book would never have been published and certainly not purchased if not for her infamous father.
-------
Okay I finished it yesterday. The second half of the book was a bit more interesting but just a bit.

Okay I am going to say something mean. Sorry I do not have a filter.


One thing I have noticed. There are people that want to help others, but not the victim but the ones that did the crime. One story I read was a man who volunteered in jail, helping out the very most criminal prisoners there. But one day his family was hurt by a criminal and then all of a sudden he could and would not help them anymore.

That is the same in this book. She keeps on having contact with her father and wrote him letters. She did that until in his testimony he said something about her SHE did not like. Only then did she stop having contact with him.

Quote: "Dad stood up in court and called us-my mom,my brother and I, social contacts,pawns in his game. (she then talks about him learning them chess) My family lived and loved this man for decades.
We fed him,did his laundry and took care of him when he was sick and injured.I adored him. Even though he could be a brute.
And now he called us "social contacts"
How dare he,
He could rot in jail"

End of quote:
My point is that people find it so much easier to pity a criminal if they or their loved ones have not been victimized

That being said, she has forgiven him. hallelujah

[Ashley Rayford · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’ve always been fascinated by true crime and serial killers. I remember when they found out BTK was Dennis Rader. When I heard his daughter was writing a book I was very intrigued. I can’t imagine finding out someone you love so dearly has done such unimaginable evil. That said, I did not enjoy this book. It is poorly written and it’s basically Kerri being very long winded about how much she suffered. I understand there is going to be an element of that in this situation, as I said I can’t imagine how they dealt with it, but it was just too much. Seemed to be little regard for the people he murdered and their families. The book combined with the 20/20 interview left me feeling as though it was all a money making endeavour. In the end I couldn’t read more than 60% of the book and that was generous. I hope Kerri and her family are able to find peace and keep it, but unfortunately I don’t recommend this book.

[Jennifer · Rating 1 out of 5]

Just one long poor me self-serving pity party.

[Mariah Roze · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great story. My heart goes out to Kerri and her family. I am so glad she wrote a book and was willing to share her story publicly.

"In 2005, Kerri Rawson heard a knock on the door of her apartment. When she opened it, an FBI agent informed her that her father had been arrested for murdering ten people, including two children. It was then that she learned her father was the notorious serial killer known as BTK, a name he’d given himself that described the horrific way he committed his crimes: bind, torture, kill. As news of his capture spread, Wichita celebrated the end of a thirty-one-year nightmare.
For Kerri Rawson, another was just beginning. She was plunged into a black hole of horror and disbelief. The same man who had been a loving father, a devoted husband, church president, Boy Scout leader, and a public servant had been using their family as a cover for his heinous crimes since before she was born. Everything she had believed about her life had been a lie."

[Valerity (Val) · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Serial Killer’s Daughter: My Story of Faith, Love, and Overcoming

I approached this book with my mind and feelings completely open and was really surprised how much I came away with from it. Kerri Rawson is fresh and likable as she tells her story of growing up in her family in Kansas. She describes it as just a totally normal, semi-dysfunctional family who works, goes to school, has vacations. Pretty typical family, it seems. She comes across very real as she shares her story and I find it like reading something a friend could be relating about what a really awful period in their life was like. The situation is just so unimaginable, and I just felt horrible for Kerri and her family, and all of the families.

It gets a little bit repetitive on a few things, the spiritual theme, and other items that come up repeatedly perhaps after a while, but if that helped her get through all of what she describes well, more power to her. What I didn’t expect were some of the stories of situations she ended up in growing up with her dad that turned harrowing that she shares. In hindsight, she, of course, sees them differently after she learns of his killing past. I found this book better than I expected and well laid out. I’m glad I purchased this very heartfelt book, as it told so much more than just the BTK aspect of the family. They became real people to me by the midst of the book, not just headlines, due to her writing.

Also on my BookZone blog:
https://wordpress.com/post/bookblog20...

[Suzanne · Rating 2 out of 5]

Update - February 14, 2025:

Since writing this review, I have listened to a podcast about BTK that features Kerri Rawson and she comes off a lot better in it than she does in this memoir. She seems to have taken the time to process what her father is and has done, and she seems to have grown a lot. She is much less self-focused and rather expresses a lot of compassion for and anger on behalf of her father's victims. I think she must have done a lot of work, and to me, it shows.

Original Review - 2019

I feel bad rating someone's memoir only two stars, but this was not very well written. At all.

First of all, the pacing was really weird. Rawson gives us a glimpse of her early years over a few chapters, which is fine, but then we spend SIX CHAPTERS reading about a backpacking trip she took with her dad to the Grand Canyon in the mid-nineties. I kept expecting something to happen during that trip that might tip her off as to her her Dad's dark side, in order to warrant so. many. chapters. But no. She does make a pledge to God while camping, though, so I guess that's why we have to hear about blisters and filtering water for so many pages.

Also, the conversations with God were a lot to handle. I don't mind reading about how her faith got her through her trauma. That is fine. Do what you have to do to cope. But throughout the book, Rawson "speaks" to God in italics and it's so frequent it becomes grating. And it's often just her writing: "God?" randomly.

God?

She also comes across as quite self-centred. She pays lip-service to her father's victims but she says the most ridiculous things at times. When a book about her father's crimes comes out near her birthday, she sulks and writes: "Happy birthday to me." This is when she is a full-grown adult with a husband, by the way.

The other thing that annoyed me is that she always refers to her father's victims as someone's mother, daughter, sister, or grandmother. It's a tragedy that he murdered these women because they were PEOPLE, not because they played a feminine role in other people's lives. UGH.

She also only cut off contact with her father when he said in public that his family were only "social contacts" and "pawns in his game." She doesn't cut off contact when she hears about how he tortured and murdered innocent people (wives and mothers!) but only when she feels used. She also gets really angry when she realizes that her father used to make her mother wait to eat dinner for him while he spent time at his office sending letters to the police. She writes that this "royally teed her off." (Side note: the weird non-swear words were a lot to handle, too). More evidence that she doesn't really feel very deeply for the victims is when she gets angry that the judge at her father's sentencing decides to provide detailed descriptions of Dennis Rader's crimes (after Rader himself glossed over a lot of it in his statement). She seems to consider this a personal affront, and thinks it's insensitive to her and her family, because it's "shaming" them. As though understanding the brutality of his crimes is irrelevant at a sentencing hearing and just done to embarrass her and her mother and brother. She also describes watching a TV movie about her father, years later, and while not being able to watch the "violent parts", she says she laughed until her sides hurt at a scene when her father orders milk with ice in it at a restaurant, because that was one of his hilarious quirks. Good times.

Finally, and this is a very small quibble, she mentiones Taco Bell no less than six times over the course of this memoir. Was this book brought to me by Taco Bell? Perhaps not, because Arby's is also mentioned several times.

All right, onto the positives. It was very interesting reading about what life was like with Dennis Rader. When Rader was arrested in 2005, the media insisted that he was perceived as a nice, normal guy who had a family and a job and was active in his church. But Rawson paints a picture of a man who was often emotionally abusive and was occasionally violent. He choked his son on two occasions and kicked in Rawson's bedroom door at one point. She describes walking on eggshells around him when he was in one of his moods. Her mother also tells Rawson that at one point she was watching a report about BTK on the nightly news and her mother asked Rader why BTK wrote to the police on the back of a cereal box and he replied "Because he's a serial killer. Cereal." Her mother also describes teasing Rader about how BTK writes with the same grammatical errors as him. That was chilling.

But a few interesting tidbits can't save this memoir, I'm afraid.

[Kristy · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 Stars

I commend Kerri Rawson for having the strength to write this and carry on after finding out who her father was.

I think this would have done better as an essay. The first third to half of the book was basically a normal girl with normal problems lives a normal life. I know it was there to show how we never know what may be hiding in the shadows, but it really dragged. Once Rawson got to the part where her dad was arrested, things picked up. It was sad to see how affected she was by what her father did and I think it’s important to remember that the family of these killers are also victims.

If you are a true crime fan I wouldn’t recommend this. But if you like memoirs about how faith can save you then definitely pick up this book.


I received an advanced copy through Netgalley in return for an honest review.

[Wanda Pedersen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wouldn’t have requested this book from the library if I hadn’t heard the author interviewed on the radio. She sounded somewhat exasperated and I wondered why, driving me to look for her book. Now that I’ve read it, I understand some of her indignation.

First, it seems that many people don’t read the title or don’t believe it. This is NOT a book about her father, this is HER story. Yes, her father appears in her account as a major player because he is her father, but the story is hers. It focuses on her life and her beliefs. I can see why she’s ticked that people read it only as a way to view her dad.

Secondly, it has obviously been written as what the evangelical Christians call “a witness.” She is professing her Christian faith and it is the most important part of the work to her. The discount of that by secular reviewers must drive her mad.

Truth be told, she could have used a good ghostwriter to assist her. There are several chapters dealing with one hiking trip to the Grand Canyon, where there should probably only be one. It was a good idea to use this trip as a way to illustrate her relationship with her father and to highlight his idiosyncrasies. It just drags on far too long and has too much religious reference in it.

It quickly becomes obvious to the reader that Dennis Rader was a volatile man and a challenge to live with. His daughter, having known no other way of life, didn’t realize the extent of his abusiveness until long after his arrest. She has fought a life-long struggle with anxiety and depression and that is unsurprising, given her family situation. Interestingly, it seems that she and her mother are the ones who are depended on to “manage” Rader. Funny how it’s always up to the women in the family to handle the volatile man!

The important aspect of this book, to my mind, is the fact that we tend to forget the families of serial killers when we are thinking about their victims. Rawson shows us in no uncertain terms the difficulties encountered by her family and their attempts to put their lives back together. Dennis Rader may be BTK to the world, but he was still a husband and father, uncle, neighbour, and working man. Those who shared his life were shocked by his arrest and confession and had hard work to do to put all of this behind them to some extent. We need to extend to them the same compassion that is offered to the murder victims’ families, as they have been betrayed and damaged too.

[Jay Ward A.K.A. Chris Chambers · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ok...as you probly noticed I didn’t finish reading it. I made it a few chapters in and it’s literally the girl’s life story...”my uncle was great because he was always quick with a joke.....Grampa pulled me close and told me how proud he was of my graduation.....Dad killed the Otero family one morning when my Mom was pregnant with me...Grandma’s house was always my favorite place to visit, especially on the holidays, she always had the classic Christmas music playing while we all sat around and told stories.....” it’s just a run-of-the-mill telling of a normal, boring, sprinkled with affection for her family biography with a quick mention every 10 pages or so of one of her dad’s crimes. I was expecting a whole lot more. Maybe some stories of the family wondering where he was late one night.?! Or her and her brother stumbling upon a strange article of clothing in the garage. Or even a mention of how he seems just a little TOO into the murder investigation as it was ongoing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. I gave up.

She seems like a nice girl, well-written, and it’s terrible what she’s had to endure, but I can’t help but think what the victims families must think as they read this account as she tries to come across as “another victim.” It’s definitely written with that tone! Idk...I guess she IS technically a “victim” in all this but...c’mon.

Bottom-line for me with this one is I didn’t crack this book to hear all about her ups and downs, highs and lows, and every other memory along the way. I would’ve turned to the Lifetime Network for that. Which is EXACTLY where this story is headed! STAT!

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook narrated by one person using slightly varied vocal tones for different people. It's an interesting viewpoint we don't always see reflected in true crime stories. This young woman, newly married and living in a different state from where she grew up gets a visit from an FBI agent with information that makes everything about her world change. Her dad has done evil, unimaginable things. The book was raw, honest and inspiring. I look forward to reading her next book as there is much more to the story.

[Carly · Rating 1 out of 5]

Super disappointing. I was very excited to read this book and while it did have some interesting information, I felt like this was a book that was focused mostly on Kerri's religious experiences. I was not anticipating this to be so Jesus-y.

[Rachel Smalter Hall · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've grown to love what memoirs can reveal about our shared humanity when the author is willing to dig deep. True crime, on the other hand, has always given me nightmares. Enter the true crime memoir. It turns out I love true crime memoirs! When super creepy, criminal acts are filtered through the very personal, introspective lens of a memoir, I can handle it. I can stop covering my eyes. I can peer a little more closely into the depths of humanity.

Kerri Rawson's astonishingly candid book about learning her beloved father had been leading a double life as a serial killer her entire life is the mother of all True Crime Memoirs. It touched me to my core. I'm all for the "complicated father-daughter-relationship" memoir, and it doesn't get any more complicated than "my dad is a serial killer." What I love about this book is how she fully explores the heart's confusion around knowing someone's a monster yet loving them anyway. She's so honest and pure in these moments, and her voice truly moved me.

I also really appreciated the thread of dark humor that she weaves into her story. Being able to laugh at your pain is such a hallmark of surviving crime, trauma, and abuse, and Kerri Rawson has all that in spades. Even in the darkest moments of her story, she tosses out unexpected one liners that endeared me to her even more. She's funny, and it turns out she's also a very talented writer and storyteller.

The first half of the book moves a bit slowly as she describes her family's life "pre-BTK," as in before anyone knew about her dad's double life. But this part of the story still has lots of payoff as it establishes the close relationship she had with her dad, as well as lays the foundations for her religious beliefs that would ultimately see her through her darkest hours. When she finally gets to "after-BTK" about halfway through the book, the story accelerates to lightning speeds, and I had to give myself a few little breaks only because it had gotten so intense.

Even though the cover screams "true crime," I hope this memoir will find a wider readership, as I truly loved it and found it to be a deft and moving account of a life that most of us can hardly even begin to imagine.

[Kimberly Dawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

This was an okay to good listen on audiobook. It was a little repetitive, which is understandable, perhaps, because of the ongoing spiral of shame and the painful fallout the family experiences as they learn the details of Dennis Rader’s murderous actions.

What I find curious is the lack of dysfunction in the family that was reported as a result of this man’s dark personality. There were a few incidents in which he lost his temper. In these instances, his wife would suggest he then go outside. More serious were two incidents in which he nearly strangled his son, if not for his wife’s intervention. His short fuse is acknowledged, yet Dennis Rader’s children do not steer clear of him as a result. His daughter reports what a great father he was. It seems only after he is incarcerated does she notice his narcissism, and in one instance she does refer to him as a con man. When she finds evidence of his evil scheming in her childhood home, she experiences more anger toward him for deceiving them.

She refers once to his childhood acts of animal abuse and fascination with murder.
The reasons that might explain why he developed a criminal mind in childhood are not explored in this book.

In the beginning of the book, Kerri was away at college and was experiencing severe depression. She did not connect her depression to any events of her childhood.
In fact, her father drove to visit her on weekends in order to help her through her depression.

Kerri has family photos fishing with her father, who loved the outdoors. They went on many family vacations together.

I find it extremely unsettling and chilling, that a man could deceive his wife and family of his murderous capacity, tendencies, and acts of violence. My heart goes out to Kerri and the rest of her family.

[Myrn🩶 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kerri wrote an honest and eye opening book. It’s about her life with a serial killer for a father and how her life spiraled after finding out. She does talk quit a bit about her faith too. I hope and wish the best for her.

[Brad · Rating 2 out of 5]

The only reason I am giving A Serial Killer's Daughter a second star is because I believe memoirs from the families of the infamous are potentially important stories with the possibility of real insight into both the familial damage caused by the infamous and how the infamous hide their crimes (or behaviours) from those closest to them. Therefore, despite the fact that A Serial Killer's Daughter succeeded at neither of those things, I feel it is important for people who care about such things to listen to or read this book just to catch a glimpse, at least, of what could be.

The Good: There's not much good in A Serial Killer's Daughter, but what is good are the moments, few and far between, that offer real insight into terrifying yet mundane realizations that her father was BTK -- from first being told her father was a serial killer by the FBI to what it must have been like for her to find evidence from his killings in an old book to the inevitable links she made between the familiar and safe places of her childhood with her father's aberrations, Kerri Rawson tapped into something vital and worth reading about. They are instances that remind us of how boring the most horrible things can be, how easy frightening things are to ignore, or miss, or pass on by; moreover, these moments reveal the other thing that is "good" about A Serial Killer's Daughter, which is Rawson's brave decision to put herself out there, unless it wasn't really brave at all (more of this, however, in the Ugly).

The Bad: There is a lot of bad in here. First, Rawson's journey to Christ stifles her telling of her story, and it might very well be the worst element of A Serial Killer's Daughter. Considering her father's own "relationship" with god, both before and after capture, her deep dive into the bosom of Christianity at least raises eyebrows about her critical thinking skills and at most makes one wonder how she can really believe that she is somehow blessed by god's presence while another, so close to her, who indoctrinated her into her earliest beliefs, could be so untouched by god's presence despite his own claims that he is.

Second, there are many moments where it just doesn't feel like Rawson is being terribly honest. Whether this is because she hasn't been able to bring herself to full honesty for fear of shame, whether it is because she actually believes the things she says, or whether this is because she wants to paint a certain picture of herself and her father, these moments (and I will let you find them for yourself) undermine her authority as an author.

Third, there are almost no insights into BTK. I don't think I was looking for gory details (although maybe I was), but there was nothing offered by Rawson that shed light on her father. Sure she tried to square peg the round hole on some of his behaviours, some of the moments of temper or pique that she could recall, and every once in a while she even fit a round peg in a round hole, but none of these were insights of worth, and because of her seeming authorial dishonesty they were further diminished.

The Ugly: I don't know the truth here, but by the end of the book I couldn't help wondering how much money Kerri Rawson was making from this endeavour (and the documentary BTK: A Killer Among Us). The Son of Sam laws ensure that criminals can't profit from their crimes. Now, Rawson claims to be a victim of her father's crimes, which means the Son of Sam laws clearly don't apply to her -- and she may very well be a victim of her father -- yet, at the same time, it is a rather convenient declaration that helps her white-out some of the grey when it comes to the ethics of what she is doing -- particularly since she had the nerve to go after Stephen King for profiting on a fiction based on her father. If she has donated all of the profits to the families of the victims BTK killed, or even given 7/8ths of her profits directly to them or to some appropriate charity, then what she is doing isn't ugly and I am mistaken. But if she is making serious money off of her father's crimes it is, at least, pretty shitty even if it is perfectly legal, and it suggests her motive for the book was entirely mercenary, undermining her bravery.

Of course, there is a worse possibility, which is that her decision to write about herself -- because I should be clear that this book is all about Kerri Rawson and how she was victimized by Dennis Rader -- sprang out of her own narcissistic needs, and if that was her motivation for writing it is a direct parallel to the motivations of her father, the man who killed 10 people in Wichita.

I really hope I am wrong about the ugly.

[Bookworm · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’ve been on a string of mediocre books lately and sadly this was not the one to break the streak. In fact I was especially disappointed with this read. True crime is usually a genre that’s hard to mess up. Stick with the facts, stay objective and tell the story. I feel for Kerri Rawson, daughter of the BTK killer. I couldn’t even fathom the impact of discovering that one’s father is a psychopathic serial killer. And I appreciate her attempt to share her story but felt this rendition wasn’t really true crime but rather a memoir about finding religion. Kerri fails to take a step back from her experience and portray BTK in an objective manner. She also fails to fully honour and acknowledge his victims properly. There is very little detail about how BTK committed his murders and the impact on the victims’ families. The author seems to use this platform as an opportunity to journal her pain and to heal, which is fine, but probably shouldn’t have been published as a book. I felt like Kerri lacked insight and self-awareness and this detracted from her ability to tell a story that would allow readers to understand and connect with the experience of being BTK’s daughter. She heavily relies on religion, which honestly became tiresome and off putting by the end. I’m happy that she was able to find religion to help her heal and move on from this experience, but really it has no place in a true crime novel. I will also say that I ended up skimming a chunk of the first half because she spends too much time focusing on herself growing up, and in particular, a camping trip her father takes her on. Oh my goodness, way too much needless and insignificant detail that made my eyes gloss, and added nothing to the story. Again, seemed more like a journal entry one would write to heal from grief. I would not recommend this book if you’re looking for true crime.

[Auntie Raye-Raye · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's okay. Kerri doesn't go into explicit details about her father's murders. It's not explotive or sensational.

It is as advertised. Life with a serial killer for a father and the fallout when finding out what he is.

I wasn't into the hour long section about a family camping trip, nor did I much care for all the god and religious parts.

[Nat PlainJanetheBookworm · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic. I've seen a lot of talk from people who, quite frankly, are plain ignorant stating things like the author just wants her "five minutes of fame" "she's not a victim" and worse things. I find it hard to believe that people are that heartless, but then I see it daily.
I can't imagine waking up one day and learning that your father is responsible for murdering 11 people. However, the author does a wonderfully honest job of showing and telling us just that. It doesn't matter how much I read, or how many clients I see, the fact that these people look so normal to us on the outside and function just like everyone else. The betrayal, shock, heartbreak, denial, loss, and everything else that she goes through is nothing I would wish on anyone. And then to have to deal with his actions as well and the shame that comes from it... Of course, she and her family are victims.
I was completely surprised at how well this book was written. It actually had a fiction feel to it. I got completely wrapped up in this and finished it in a day, it was that good. But then I've read so much about the offender and the murders, that it felt so good to read something about this event from another angle. It just goes to show how good these killers are at being 'normal', it's actually hard to comprehend...
Fantastic read, and congratulations to the author. I hope she found some peace and solace in writing it, and wish her the very best in her healing journey.

[Ginny · Rating 1 out of 5]

60 pages in and already wondering why this book was published-FIFTEEN YEARS after her world comes crashing down. Honestly, it feels like she is trying to cash in on her father's reputation and the popularity of Mindhunter.

I am also not enjoying the detailed account of her life. I get it-it is painting the picture of Rader as a father, as a husband, and to show how he was able to hide from and fool his family. BUT, there is still a lot of exposition that would have benefited from heavier editing. Example: What does her cousin's death have to do with her father, the serial killer? I think this book was purposefully mis-marketed.

68-wtf is this a camping/hiking book? Pages 55-96... 41 pages?! And now straight to God talk. So a religious hiking book that features a serial killer's daughter!

106-crap-more hiking and camping.
123-yup, more hiking and camping. Maybe I should do a drinking game for each time hiking and camping is mentioned. Except not alcohol because I like my liver.

Wait. The 1st time she ever heard of BTK was 2004? And she talked to her mom about it, who recalled mentioning it to Rader-who was all 'no worries you are safe.' Well, I guess he would know!

138- how in the hell does she remember her dad not being home on a specific date when she was 7 years old? Just because of a storm and sleeping in her mom's bed?

192- "In fact, we would have qualified for victim support services in the state of Kansas, but we weren't aware of this until 2017." Wow. Someone sounds bitter. Does she even care people are dead because of her serial killer father? This reads as a woe is me, I lost, I lost, I lost. Yes she did, but at least her family was MURDERED! "There wasn't going to be much of anything left once Dad was done with us." WHAT?!

And now a bunch of letters between Kerri and Dad. At this point I don't even think serial killer groupies would be interested in this book. And confession: I skipped 98% of the letters.

I just can't anymore. "Unlike the rest of the world, I was able to tie many of my dad's details [to the murders] to my own life." She also says she's lost some memories of the devestation he caused in her life. Clearly she didn't lose enough memories-I mean hiking details, the clothing she wore.

And now we dip back to 1974 after the plea deal? What is happening? Was there even an editor? I swear to the book gods, if she mentions her broken arm and that Oldsmobile one more time...

This woman actually thinks her family should have been consulted before full evidence was given? Oh wait, right above she wrote that her father gave a "one-sided, narcissistic view" of the crimes, almost complaining he minimized the torture of his victims. Yet she has the audacity to complain the prosecutors didn't check with his family? no. no no!

lol "My father selfishly rambled for 20 minutes." Ohhhhhh like this book!

SO the whole time she defends him and has all these memories (some tainted, but remember-she lost those memories anyway) but it wasn't until he calls his family "social contacts" that he is no longer her loving father. Now he can rot in hell.

"You wouldn't have known you were standing next to the daughter of a serial killer." Yeah well, she didn't know she slept in the same house as a serial killer. Who gives a rat's ass.

And the thing that really bothers me about this book, no the thing that disgusts me about this book- "I cut off all communication with him and tried to distance myself from the news." Then why in the hell am I 256 pages into a 336 page book of garbage? Seriously! Why was this book published? If 100% of the proceeds were being donated to some sort of victim support, or recovery or something I would feel differently, but this just the narcissistic rambling of the daughter of a serial killer. She is truly trying to make money off of him-going so far as to ask her mother for letters that he sent. She wants people to know who she is, look at her damn goodreads bio.
I have read Sue Klebold's memoir and did not have this reaction; but this book....wow.

(Yes I angry finished this book.)

[Court · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm baffled by the idiotic comments in reviews to this book - it *is* a religious memoir, stupid. It has "Faith" right in the title, for one thing, and for another it is published by Zondervan/ Thomas Nelson. I'm an atheist and I can't relate to Kerri's experience in that way at all, but she is honest from page one about her intentions.

I realize it's hard for some people to understand how a family could not know that their dad was a monster. It's hard for Kerri to reconcile her loving dad with the evil man who murdered 10 people. She is so open and honest about the ptsd, anxiety, and depression she struggled with her whole life and that was exacerbated by her father's arrest. Some of her descriptions are so vivid I had to walk away from the book a few times, because they triggered my own memories of similar feelings. This is a hard hard read.

Kerri is nothing but respectful to the victims. Her own empathy and horror at what her dad did makes it an even tougher read. But it is HER memoir about HER life and HER dad. If you want a play by play account of the victims and crimes, there are plenty of well written books to check out. This is Kerri and Paula and Brian's story, and the extended Rader family's story. They are victims too - their dad may not have been an outward monster to them, but he was abusive, and what he did ruined all of their lives. After he confessed and the evidence came out, they never denied his guilt. Most of the family cut ties with him and he's rotting in prison where he belongs, for two life sentences.

Though Kerri forgives him in the Christian sense, it's obvious she'll still struggle with what he did and the trauma he caused for the rest of her life. I am glad she was brave enough to tell her story and to share the perspective of what the loved ones of those who commit violent crimes go through. Obviously it's nothing compared to people who died at the hands of her father, but to have no sympathy for them and to not understand that they too are victims and survivors and to outright villify her is truly baffling to me.

[Ellen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book left me somewhat confused as to Kerri Rawson's response to her father being the BTK murderer. On one hand I welcomed the God centered guidance she relied on throughout this unending ordeal. At the same time I found her focusing on childhood memories in order to keep the caring Daddy more alive than the reality of who he was all along. I ask the author where lies your reality?
Another obstacle was Kerri's continuing communication with her father through letters as if all is well with the world. I didn't hear very much concern for the victims who spent their final moments on earth being terrifyingly tortured to death. Again I ask Kerry where lies your reality?
There are 2 choices from what I've come to know for the family of a serial killer to choose from. One is to cut off all communication completely as well as possibly move away and change their name. The other is to stay in communication including prayer for that incarcerated family member. So That leaves me with Kerri's decision to forgive her father and continue a relationship with him.

This story was a disappointment. I found the author's view of reality extremely shallow and without adult reasoning.

[Kayla Hewett · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️ An interesting story of the daughter of serial killer, BTK. There were some really great parts of this book and some more drawn out details. I enjoyed the parts that described her childhood and certain events with her dad that showed just how normal he was. I also enjoyed the parts where she described some behaviors, that looking back on were suspicious. Also, I just couldn’t imagine how painful and confusing it must have been to have your whole life turned upside down and questioning everything you ever knew. Unimaginable.