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A Curious History of Sex

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This is not a comprehensive study of every sexual quirk, kink and ritual across all cultures throughout time, as that would entail writing an encyclopaedia. Rather, this is a drop in the ocean, a paddle in the shallow end of sex history, but I hope you will get pleasantly wet nonetheless.

The act of sex has not changed since people first worked out what went where, but the ways in which society dictates how sex is culturally understood and performed have varied significantly through the ages. Humans are the only creatures that stigmatise particular sexual practices, and sex remains a deeply divisive issue around the world. Attitudes will change and grow – hopefully for the better – but sex will never be free of stigma or shame unless we acknowledge where it has come from.

Based on the popular research project Whores of Yore, and written with her distinctive humour and wit, A Curious History of Sex draws upon Dr Kate Lister’s extensive knowledge of sex history. From medieval impotence tests to twentieth-century testicle thefts, from the erotic frescoes of Pompeii, to modern-day sex doll brothels, Kate unashamedly roots around in the pants of history, debunking myths, challenging stereotypes and generally getting her hands dirty.

This fascinating book is peppered with surprising and informative historical slang, and illustrated with eye-opening, toe-curling and meticulously sourced images from the past.

You will laugh, you will wince and you will wonder just how much has actually changed.

353 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 6, 2020

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14770 people want to read

About the author

Kate Lister

3 books199 followers
Librarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.

Kate Lister is a lecturer at Leeds Trinity University, where she researches the history of sexuality and curates the online research project Whores of Yore. Kate is also a columnist for iNews, Vice, and the Wellcome Trust where she writes about the history of sex. Kate won a Sexual Freedom Award for Publicist of the Year in 2017.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,167 reviews
Profile Image for Matt.
1,052 reviews31.1k followers
May 30, 2024
“To say that humans have overthought sex is something of an understatement. All life on this planet shares the desire to reproduce, but what makes humans unique are the infinitely complex and varied ways we seek to gratify our sexual desires…Humans are also the only creatures that stigmatize, punish and create shame around their sexual desires. While all animals have courtship rituals, no wildebeest has ever gone into therapy because it’s struggling to express a latex fetish. The queen honeybee will shag up to forty partners in one session…and not one drone will call her a slut…Yet the guilt we humans feel around our desires can be paralyzing…”
- Kate Lister, A Curious History of Sex

It should go without saying – though I’ll say it anyway – but sex is pretty important to life. Most of us wouldn’t be here without it, along with the fortuitous meeting of sperm and egg that sometimes accompanies the act.

Many creatures have sex, but for humans, it is far more than an evolutionary impulse. It is of massive significance to our identities. It is a driver of motivations. It occupies a not-insubstantial portion of our thoughts. Sex – and its close cousins lust and love – can infect the mind like a madness. Throughout the course of human existence, it has caused men and women to make bad decisions, commit crimes, give up thrones, start wars, and launch a thousand ships across the Aegean Sea.

Generally speaking, sex does not occur in the public arena, but that has not stopped anyone from making it a matter of public concern, especially as to questions of sexual identity and preferences. People have been exiled, ostracized, beaten, imprisoned, and executed. There has been sexually-based violence beyond counting. Talking about sex can get pretty dour.

Yet, as Kate Lister notes repeatedly in A Curious History of Sex, it can also be fun. Indeed, it should be fun. And consensual. And safe.

***

In looking at the title, it’s important to note the indefinite article. This is a history of sex, not the history. Lister as at pains to remind us that her offering is not comprehensive, as though such a thing were even possible.

Not only is this not comprehensive, it’s not even methodical. Rather, it’s downright idiosyncratic. Lister divides A Curious History of Sex into eight sections, within which are three smaller subsections. For example, there is a section on “Sex and Money,” another on “Sex and Hygiene” – which is marvelous – and a third on “Sex and Food.” The paths she decides to follow, as well as those she avoids, can be head scratching. For instance, she is generally sex-work positive, without really acknowledging downsides such as trafficking and coercion. At the same time, she ignores the way modern technology has given such workers distance, safety, and better profit margins.

Unsurprisingly, given its ad hoc nature, A Curious History of Sex is consistently uneven. Some parts were great, some average, and others I would have excised completely. The sequence about food and sex, for instance, did nothing for me, except ruin the notion of food and sex both. I also would have rearranged the presentation, as the book starts with a bouncy ebullience, but then progresses towards weightier topics – such as abortion – at the end.

***

The unevenness here is not fatal to the project. When I reached the end, and tallied up the good and less-good, the good won out.

For me, A Curious History of Sex worked best when it employed a light touch. Probably my favorite essay involved Lister’s deconstruction of the origin myth of the vibrator. Legend has it that it was created by male Victorian doctors in order to cure the “hysteria” of their female patients, and to keep them from getting carpal tunnel. As Lister astutely notes, this fable fits our view of the Victorians as caught in a hopeless loop of repression/expression. But as she pulls at the threads holding it together, it comes apart.

Lister is less successful when she goes fully serious. For instance, she has a subsection on the racial fetishization of nonwhite people by whites. This is a huge topic, one that deserves a full and complete discussion. Unfortunately, Lister tries to encompass it in a measly ten pages. As a result, it felt like Lister was patting herself on the back for bringing it up, though she entirely failed – because ten pages is not enough – to even scratch the surface. On the other hand, she does a great job summarizing the awful history – and present – of both male and female genital mutilation.

Of course, the valuations of each segment will change for each person, depending on what you’re looking for.

***

So, you might be wondering, what was I looking for? Funny you should ask, because my wife certainly did, as soon as this was delivered. Then she gave me a look.

The answer: beyond my obvious prurient interest, I’m intrigued by the age-old conflict that has been waged over this one particular act, or rather, combination of acts.

Sex is a natural, biological imperative. It is powerfully entwined with desire, which is ingrained and unique to each person. It is an intensely private, intimate thing. Nevertheless, a powerful fraction of society – all over the world, not just the angry old men of the western world – has forever sought to codify what expressions were permissive, and what were immoral, illegal, or both. Lister shares this interest.

One of the ongoing themes of A Curious History of Sex is how almost every sexual practice ever conceived has already been done, and it’s been done many times, over the span of many years. Despite this, every generation seems to have to fight the same battles over again, the pendulum swinging back and forth between liberty and restriction, between free expression and obscenity, and between privacy and governmental intrusion.

***

Lister belongs to a generation of cool – or cool to me – British historians, such as Alex von Tunzelmann and Dan Snow. People who’ve gone to Oxford or Cambridge, but also dye their hair or wear blazers with jeans, and who show up on YouTube to breakdown the inaccuracies of historically-based movies. As she does in her online appearances, Lister nicely combines deep research, strong opinions, cheeky humor, and – of course – a few puns, a double entendre or two, and the employment of every piece of sexual slang throughout the ages. If you read this, you won’t be able to stop yourself from laughing every time you hear reference to Daniel James Brown’s The Boys in the Boat.

Even though I ended up skimming certain parts, and even though it occasionally touches upon somber subjects, it was a pleasure to read in general. If I had tried a bit harder, I’m sure I could’ve found a better volume on this subject, but I don’t regret choosing this one.

***

At this point, I suppose I should warn you that this book about sex is absolutely filled with sex. It has language, it has descriptions, and it even has pictures. So, if that’s not your thing, this definitely won’t be your thing.

***

In her introduction, Lister quotes the famed Colombian novelist Gabriel Garcia Marquez, who wrote that “everyone has three lives: a public life, a private life and a secret life.” The secret part – Lister notes – is the most honest part. Somehow, though, this secret part – which encompasses our unspoken needs and desires – has been wrenched into the open and turned into a moral issue aired on a public forum. At the end of A Curious History of Sex, she closes this thought by advocating the disentangling of sex and shame. It’s a nice idea, but as her book implicitly demonstrates, it is not likely to happen anytime soon.
Profile Image for Jo .
930 reviews
February 20, 2022
I totally love reading about sex education, and this book is no exception. This was quirky, interesting, shocking in parts, but overall, it was fulfilling and this book came along just at the right time, because as of late, I've needed something to lift the gloom.

Lister is fun, and I had a lot of fun with this book. I enjoyed the chapter on "The C Word" more than than I'd expected to. Now, I've never really rated the word "cunt" and I often hear teenagers (particularly boys) calling one another one in the street, but being honest, I had never realised just how far back that word has gone. I might think a little differently now.

The chapter on vibrators was fascinating, and I was also surprised to learn that the bicycle was seen as a sexual aid for women to gain sexual pleasure, and men fought to stop women having access to riding a bike! Unless it's them we're riding, some particular men always have something to say. What madness is this?!

Women's pubic hair has always been a major talking point for me. It is well known, that generally, society expects women to be smooth instead of hairy, otherwise, we are seen as dirty, not very sexy, and finally, we are not succumbing to the man's wants. But remember ladies, while we do all of this, it is perfectly fine for the man to stay hairy as an ape.

This book is great for everyone, and even though it took me a while, I love the fact that there is no sugar coating in here. Wonderful stuff!
Profile Image for K.J. Charles.
Author 65 books12.1k followers
Read
February 8, 2020
Not so much a history of sex as a delve into various parts. As you might say. There's chapters on eg abortion, attitudes to the vulva, contraception, male sex workers, public hair styling, and much more. Lots of slang. Leans fairly heavily to Western and Victorian attitudes, and to cis male attitudes to cis female bodies though there is a determined effort to widen the scope with lots on the medieval period and some on non-Western cultures including some fabulous Indian art. I have the print edition and the pictures are a big plus.

Very sex positive and sex worker positive. Highly readable and often extremely funny though best seen as a series of essays rather than a single thesis.
Profile Image for Matt.
4,817 reviews13.1k followers
June 3, 2021
I am always interested in books that force me to think and teach me something while I enjoy them. I have read many a biography or memoir, alongside books that expound on world history, all in hopes of coming away with more knowledge (or any) on a subject. However, when it came to Kate Lister’s piece, it was a few people who recommended it simply to see what I would write in my review that had me reaching for this piece. Lister tackles the wide world of sex, reproduction, and how humans have handled the enormous topic throughout history. Mixing detailed explanations with wonderful humour to offset any nervousness that might be found when discussing the topic, Lister produces a stunning account that is full of education, elucidation, and even ejaculation (alliteration can be so much fun)! Not for the prude of mind, Lister’s book is wonderfully detailed and easily digested, with just enough humour to keep the reader pushing further.

Before getting too deep into things, Lister makes sure to explore some of the common words that have arisen in the discussion of sex. Many of these words have become woven into the fabric of modern language, though few can trace them back to their origins. Lister makes a point throughout of explaining these words and where they may have first come into print, surprising many readers as to just how many euphemisms exist for vagina, clitoris, or even penis. This laying of the groundwork proves useful, as it is key to understanding how humans have seen the body and what means have been used to ‘decorate’ words to help them pass muster. Lister pulls no punches, which may be a tad too vulgar for some readers, but more on that in a bit.

From the medical to the personal realm, the act of sexual congress and its associated climactic events receive some interesting discussion. Lister explores the orgasm and how it affects both sexes differently. While men appear to turn into ‘sleepy bears’ thereafter, it almost energises a woman into wanting more, so Lister presents in some of her research. Medicine has sought to explore how to help or hinder orgasms over long periods of time, with the help of salves, instruments, and even ways to approach sex. All of this is highly intriguing, especially when seen over a long historical approach. To say that the Victorians were the first to seek the vibrator to assist would be incorrect, though orgasmic liberation may have come to its zenith at that time.

Lister also looks into some interesting social norms as they relate to the human body and how sex has played into it. From personal grooming sentiments to body odour balancing and even prophylactics, sex and the body surely go hand in hand. Social norms and expectations have surely changed over time, but Lister takes the time to tackle how and why these changes have dictated what is ‘accepted’ today and how certain stigma mount because of the super-sexualisation of society. She really gets to the heart of the matter, offering some of her own opinions, as well as key scientific studies to help substantiate arguments on both sides.

Lister cannot complete her journey without looking at sexuality and how it has evolved as a business, exploring brothels, prostitution, and all manner of paid enjoyment. While it can surely be called the oldest profession, prostitution and paid sex has not always been sinister and part of an evil realm. Lister seeks to better understand human need for sex and the lengths to which some will go to procure it, even briefly. Taking the stigma out of it lessens its impact and allows the reader to understand sex as a business, as well as how it as grown over the centuries. This proves enlightening, as laws around the world towards prostitution are becoming looser and the stigma appears to be lifting in some form or another. She parses no words or topics, seeking to expound on both male and female sex workers, including how they ply their trade.

While many prudish readers may shy away from the piece, I would encourage them to come back and give the book a try. Being uncomfortable or ‘scandalised’ is all a part of societal norms. Peeking behind the curtain to see what’s really going on may open one’s eyes in a positive way, rather than shunning something as ‘dirty’ and ‘disgusting’. Education is the great equaliser, or so I have come to believe. While it is not for everyone, Lister seeks to teach and keep things as light as possible. Open mindedness is a must with this piece, as is a desire to learn, though having a great sense of humour cannot hurt either. Lister is thorough in his analysis, using great examples in chapters that make sense as one moves along through the book. There is so much to learn and the photographs added throughout offer a wonderful addition to the experience. Then again, having listened to the audiobook, narrated by the author, I have never heard so many “whore” and “cunt” references in the opening few chapters of a book as I did here. Still, it permitted me to better understand without feeling desensitised to the verbiage that has a strong connotation on this side of the Atlantic.

Kudos, Madam Lister, for such a great reading experience. I will have to read more of your work, as you really get to the heart of the matter and use humour to make it all a little easier to digest.

Love/hate the review? An ever-growing collection of others appears at:
http://pecheyponderings.wordpress.com/

A Book for All Seasons, a different sort of Book Challenge: https://www.goodreads.com/group/show/...
Profile Image for Petra X.
2,455 reviews35.7k followers
1-tbr-owned-but-not-yet-read
December 19, 2022
Is there anything new to say about sex? If so, I want to hear it!
Profile Image for Helga.
1,386 reviews481 followers
February 15, 2023
Geoffrey Rush as Marquis de Sade: "I write of the great, eternal truths that bind together all mankind. The whole world over, we eat, we shit, we f*ck, we kill and we die."
Truer words have never been spoken!

This book is well-researched, expertly composed and hilarious.



Profile Image for Johann (jobis89).
736 reviews4,680 followers
October 18, 2022
4.5 stars. Hilarious and informative. One of my fave non-fiction books this year!
Profile Image for jenny✨.
585 reviews944 followers
April 17, 2022
this is a case of "it's me, not you".

i went in expecting more cultural commentary, criticism, and analysis, instead of what essentially felt like a recitation of facts. judging from the many glowing reviews, this really worked for many readers! unfortunately, i am not one of them. i found myself slogging through this, wishing some topics had been afforded more space and detail (e.g., the chapter on racial fetishization) and others less (e.g., discussion of sex and bread). i also found it a wee bit dry to read so many quotes strung back-to-back, though i really do commend the author for doing her research. i am also a fan of the overall message of this book:

So, we must keep talking about sex. We must keep educating children about sex, and not just about what happens when a sperm gets its hands on an egg. We must talk about consent, pleasure, masturbation, pornography, love, relationships and our own bodies. Because the only way we will dispel shame is to drag sex out in the open and have a good long look at it. History has shown us how damaging shaming sexual practices, in all their myriad forms, can be. Let’s learn the lesson.


overall, though, this read to me like a long literature review sprinkled with humorous twitter-speak. not bad, just not my cup of tea!
Profile Image for Lucy.
465 reviews774 followers
December 3, 2021
5****

But as the history of contraceptives shows, abortion will always be sought, risks will always be taken and no amount of criminalisation, not even the death penalty itself, will change that.

This was probably one of the best non-fiction books I’ve ever read. This was non-fiction but so fun and witty, it had me turning the pages. This was brilliant.

Dr Kate Lister in this book, as clearly told from the title, is about the history of sex. This covered MANY different topics of the history of sex in manageable chunks. This included horrific, invasive virginity tests (still being used today in some countries despite NO SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE), FGM, and abortion, to the weird explorations of sex and bicycles, sex and bread and strange sex dolls. This also chartered the history of the language of sex as well (did you know to ‘lather’ or ‘lather-up’ was 16thC. slang for ejacualtion!?).

Dr Kate Lister unashamedly provides an uncensored history from Ancient Mesopotamia to modern day about a range of things. She busts myths, details of stereotypes (the fear of the female orgasm in Victorian times), and investigates just how different the approaches to body hair, sex work, and even bread penises (usually in fertility celebrations) changed throughout history.

Due to lack of evidence (currently- historical things keep turning up!) this book wasn’t able to delve fully into LGBT+ sex history in comparison to heterosexual relationships (especially little to nothing on Lesbian and trans sex history). So I’d be very interested to see as more things are uncovered and found in evidence, a different perspective of sex history.
Profile Image for Leo.
4,984 reviews627 followers
January 11, 2022
This was a great mix of both being very informative, ridiculously funny but also being able to switch tone when needed. The way it was told and narrated made it a very engaging listening experience.
Profile Image for Zoraida.
Author 39 books4,775 followers
October 25, 2023
Fun and funny! Delightful historical facts.
Profile Image for K..
4,719 reviews1,136 followers
April 2, 2020
Trigger warnings: mentions of rape, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of witch burning and torture, mentions of homophobia, graphic descriptions of female genital mutilation.

This book was genuinely fantastic from start to finish. And utterly hilarious. I was sold on this book within, like, a page of the preview on Amazon. Lister's writing is phenomenal and she's very matter-of-fact about her subject matter.

I think the thing that I loved most about this is that it's effectively like a series of microhistories in the one book. And I freaking LOVE microhistories. So that combined with the hilarious and informative writing made this a complete and utter winner for me.

(Just as a heads up, this book contains some...graphic...images. Definitely NSFW.)
Profile Image for Sammie Reads.
1,134 reviews183 followers
November 16, 2023
This book was so interesting! Boring at parts, and the big chunks that didn't capture my attention I just skimmed. Unexpected bonus, this author is actually laugh-out-loud hilarious!
Profile Image for Ieva.
1,308 reviews108 followers
February 2, 2021
Kā jau aprakstā, grāmatas ievadā un pēcvardā autore uzsver - šis nav visaptverošs ieskats seksa vēsturē (jo tai vajadzētu būt vairāku desmit sējumu enciklopēdijai), bet pāris ieskicētas tēmas, kas Kate Lister likušās nozīmīgas un apspriešanas vērtas. Man radās sajūta, ka šī varētu būt vairāku rakstu kompilācija, bet ne jau Cosmo līmenī. Lilit? Ja godīgi, liekas ka pat Satori vai Rīgas Laiks (ja redaktoriem uznāktu nerātns garastāvoklis). Tēmas koncentrējas uz rietumu pasauli un galvenokārt sievieti, bet ne tikai (piem., klitors, mēnešreizes, seksa roboti un lelles, prostitūcija utt.), tās tiek apspriestas nopietni un tā ka nav kauns klausīties audiogrāmatu pat braucot sabiedriskajā transportā (citi jau nedzird un nezina, bet tik un tā dažus romānus neērti un neiedrīgi klausīties, nākas pārtīt). Autores humora izjūta arī ik pa brīdim uzplaiksnī, bet gaumīgi un vietā, kā īsi iestarpināti komentāri.
Profile Image for Maricarmen Estrada M.
379 reviews89 followers
February 28, 2024
It’s 2024 and it is still very difficult to talk about sex and sexuality.
This book is not a comprehensive record, as Kate Lister mentioned in the excerpt of the book, but it does cover lots of ideas and facts of how sex life was in past history and in different cultures.
Her research as well as the way she approaches all the topics makes this a super interesting read.
Brilliant!
Profile Image for Peter.
41 reviews5 followers
April 11, 2020
Oh wow, I was so disappointed by this book! Going by all the positive reviews and a quick skim read before receiving the physical copy, I was really excited to read this. The book is well researched, has some brilliant photographic/illustration reproductions, but I found Lister's writing style really grating. Constantly peppering the text with slang terms, with their date of coinage comes across as a nice idea, but I found it utterly tedious after a while. I think there's something about this book which is very British - I can't really imagine anyone from another culture writing about sex in this way. The British approach to sex seems to be less about lustful passion and more about euphemistic avoidance, or jokes about fannies and wanking.
Interestingly the chapters toward the end of the book on abortion, prostitution (including male prostitution) were for me more satisfying than earlier parts of the book. I suspect this is because Lister drops the lame gags whilst discussing quite serious subjects, of which socio-political debates regarding both continue to abound.

My natural inclination was to give the book two stars as I really wanted it over by half way through (luckily, despite its girth, it's a super short book), which is not great for a book which cost £14. I've given three though as it may, especially for British people who can't discuss sex unless drunk or cracking jokes about it, make people re-think some of our contemporary attitudes to sex, with better knowledge of its history.

It felt a bit like reading a Horrible Histories book. One for the 16 years olds! :P
Profile Image for fatma.
1,020 reviews1,179 followers
May 11, 2021
wanted more analysis/discussion of the topics rather than just a laundry list of facts and examples...
Profile Image for Jolis.
377 reviews29 followers
November 28, 2020
Bija interesanti.

Bet nosaukums un grāmatas apraksts īsti neatspoguļo tās saturu. Autore izvēlējusies koncentrēties tikai uz mazu skaitu apakštēmu, un savu izvēli arī paskaidro. Personīgi man daļa no tām likās aiz matiem pievilktas.

Lai arī dažās nodaļās tiek runāts arī par seno vēsturi un viduslaikiem, visvairāk tomēr autores uzmanība vērsta Viktorijas laikmetam.
Profile Image for Sara.
1,492 reviews432 followers
Read
July 15, 2022
A very witty and interesting commentary on sex down through the ages - from the origins of certain filthy words to sex work, contraception and abortions. It was well thought out and structured, going from one subject to another in a cohesive way that made it very easy to read and when needed it didn't take itself too seriously. I got a lot of information out of it, and learnt a lot regarding evolving opinions to sex and how languistics plays such a large role in 'normalising' attitudes. I definitely want to read more widely on a lot of the content I discovered.

Obviously it's never going to be a complete look at the history of sex - that would take up several volumes, but I think overall this was a good starting point to expand on.
Profile Image for Rachel Bridgeman.
1,101 reviews29 followers
February 10, 2020
Right now, I am going to admit that it's a hard act to follow this book , it's very likely to be my non-fiction book of the year. There, I said it, the challenge is out there. There aren't enough stars for me to award this book, I am absolutely certain that a copy belongs in every library, the curious reader should be directed at it in much the same way that so many MANY men need to be directed to the clitoris.

Which, by the way, seems to be according to Kate's research, pretty much the route of all evil despite the systematic failure to locate, understand or please it-it is however, the source of much mutilation, burning, excision,malignmant and a key site for the devil to attach himself to-seriously,check out pages 39-68, for the focus on the body part which shall forever after be known as ' the boy in the boat.'

In this mighty tome, which contains both black and white illustrations, Kate expounds upon her themes of the social history of sex. Whilst the act itself has remained pretty much the same since time began, the way we humans categorise, compartmentalise and chastise those methods of intercourse and understaning of how our bits work ,is an entirely different matter.

Extending from the meanings of words which pepper our daily vocabulary, commonly used eoithets and slang, to a chronological history of genitalia(uses thereof), orgasms, sex aids, sex as a commodity and as an expression of self.

Fascinating as well as being ribald, this is similar to having the best, and most interesting lecture you have ever had. A weighty tome of 400+ pages, it contains not just impeccably researched topics such as the sexualisation of bicycles in the Victorian era, it has a HUGE breadth of further reading and notes. Which for someone who loves footnotes,is an absolute joy.

Kate's style is brillaint, she at once has you guffawing, gasping and groaning at the misundertandings people in the past have about what goes where, and what shouldn't go anywhere. Just when you think we as a race have advanced our understanding of the pleasure principle, she shocks you with something indecently recent -for example, it was only in 2010 that researchers actually shown that clitoral stimulation is needed to orgasm. It has at most points in history been seen as a sign of immaturity to not be able to come without this necessary friction. This is wonderful news to the 75% of women who have been saying this all along!

Shock and awe are induced by the barbed penis rings, worn by men to prevent too many erections due to the notion that semen was an essential essence, a holy fluid which should only be spilt for procreation purposes. Or the fact that monkey and babboon testicles were grafted into a substantial amount of men in the 19th and 20th century in order to 'absorb' their essence and extend life-apparently, masturbation robbed men of their 'vim' in a Samson-esque feat of unintended robbery. Spoiler alert, it did not extend anyone's lives and indeed curtailed a great many apes!

Couched in the most accessible prose, this is incredibly accessible, impeccably researched and imbued with wit and flair. I want to scream from the rooftops just how much I love this book!

I could go on, and on, and share extract after extract with you, honestly this book is spilling over with the kind of information that you want to read and share aloud, but far better is for you to buy it and see for yourself. However, a small warning as if it hasn't explicitly been said, this is not the kind of book you leave lying around the house where curious children or relatives could pick it up.

Not unless you want to have some very indepth conversations far earlier than you expected to have them....

Or maybe that is exactly what you need to do!
Profile Image for Sally.
496 reviews56 followers
March 26, 2023
I absolutely bloody loved this book. Irreverent, exploratory, informative and funny, 'A Curious History of Sex' absolutely obliterated my post-travel reading slump and gave me much to think about and laugh about over the last couple of days. If you’ve ever followed Kate Lister on social media, you’ll already have a rough idea of what you’re getting into. I’ll never think of the humble bicycle in quite the same way again.

This was a very excellent overview of the history of sex which which covers off a wide-range of sex-related topics at a very high level (vaginas, clits, penises, orgasms, sex toys, reproduction, contraceptives, language, legislation, medicine, sex workers…). The history Kate delves into is pretty Western, cis, and hetero-centric, but she gives a little disclaimer/explanation at the beginning and also does try to discuss and bring in other cultures and sexualities where possible. Although I’d have personally loved a bit more in-depth intersectional analysis of certain topics, there is an extensive bibliography provided along with further reading suggestions, so I mostly just strapped myself in and enjoyed the ride.

And what a ride! Some of the things human have made up or surmised with regards to sex over the centuries are truly mind-boggling and laugh out loud hilarious. Of course, on the flip side of that, humans have done a lot of fucked up, batshit crazy stuff to do with sex as well. Kate Lister drags it all out in the open and presents it with its pants down for all of us to see. Despite her academic credentials, her writing style is very informal, littered with historical slang and sprinkled with her own wry observations that I personally found very easy and an absolute delight to read. For those who don’t know Kate Lister, she is a very sex-positive and outspoken feminist who is absolutely not afraid to give her (very informed) opinion on contentious issues such as abortion and prostitution. I personally love this about her writing, but if you’re seeking a drier, more academic and objective tone when it comes to your sex history, you probably won’t find it here.

My edition of this book is also packed full of beautiful colour images that really enhanced my reading experience. They’re not at all safe for work, obviously, but definitely made me smile or wince upon multiple occasions.

Speaking of wincing, this is an adult non-fiction book about the history of sex—which is often disgusting and brutal. Expect graphic scenes of sexual and medical content, accounts and instances of sexual violence, horrifying contemporary sources packed full of sexism, misogyny and more, and an entire chapter dedicated to FGM which still managed to trigger a vasovagal syncope episode from me, despite in-text warnings from Lister.

A very thought-provoking and compulsively readable popular science book that I cannot recommend highly enough. Loved it.
Profile Image for Miku.
1,722 reviews21 followers
October 17, 2023
"Sprawy łóżkowe. Historia seksu" jest pozycją typowo popularnonaukową, która opowiada o tym co przedstawia nam tytuł czyli historii seksu, seksualności człowieka, jej kształtowania się w zależności od wieku czy szerokości geograficznej. Na samym początku, niemal zaraz po rozpoczęciu lektury, trochę przestraszyłam się języka, jakim autorka postanowiła operować już od pierwszych zdań wprowadzenia, tym bardziej przy temacie, który dla wielu osób jest tematem tabu. Jednak nie zniechęciło mnie to i postanowiłam zaufać autorce, wierząc, że wie co robi.

Ogólnie pozycja zasługuje na mocne 4 gwiazdki. Temat ciekawy, szeroki na wszelkie możliwe strony, opisywany językiem bardzo luźnym, a przynajmniej takim, żeby nie przeciążyć czytelnika naukowo-lekarskimi hasłami. Ta pozycja nie skupia się tylko na obecnych czasach, ale w zgrabny sposób cofamy się w epokach i możemy obserwować jak poglądy dotyczące seksualności człowieka jak i samoświadomość zmieniały się na przełomie wieków. Bardzo ciekawa była etymologia, czyli autorka rozpisywała skąd niektóre słowa, obecnie uważane za wulgarne, pojawiły się w naszych słownikach, jak również jakie miały pierwotne znaczenie. Niektóre osoby może to znużyć i trochę przestraszyć, ale spokojnie - jak już przebrnie się przez tę etymologię to potem jest bardzo ciekawie, a przede wszystkim znika ta cała łacina oraz naukowy język. Zagadnienia omawiane w tej książce są bardzo różne. Zostawiam przykłady: jaką rolę odgrywało dziewictwo oraz jak sprawdzano na przestrzeni lat czy kobieta była "czysta" (m.in. słynne pokazywanie prześcieradła po nocy poślubnej), żeński orgazm, jakie są trudności w jego osiąganiu oraz jak sobie go wyobrażano, a na deser dorzucę, że pojawia się temat przeszczepu jąder w XX wieku. Każdy rozdział opatrzony jest w bardzo obszerną bibliografię, więc jeśli zainteresuje kogoś konkretny dział to znajdzie sporo odnośników do źródeł. Dodatkiem dopełniającym tę książkę były różnego rodzaju ilustracje, których nie polecam pokazywać w miejscu publicznym albo w komunikacji miejskiej, bo pasażer siedzący obok dostanie chyba zawału.

W zasadzie to tyle. Nie polecam i nie odradzam, bo książki popularnonaukowe mają to do siebie, że trzeba chcieć po nie sięgnąć. Mi ta pozycja spodobała się, bo lubię ten rodzaj książek, a i poruszane zagadnienia są warte zapoznania się z nimi, nawet z czystej ciekawości.
Profile Image for Armita.
306 reviews38 followers
July 18, 2022
very informative. would definitely recommend.
Profile Image for Peter Tillman.
4,038 reviews476 followers
Want to read
April 19, 2020
Here's the NYT review, by the inimitable Dwight Garner:
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/17/bo...
Excerpt:
"Lister has a chapter subtitled “Sex and Bread.” I have a hard time imagining the baking deity Dorie Greenspan recommending this, but Lister relates accounts of women in the 17th century, up on the counter, kneading dough with their buttocks.

The women delivered the resulting loaves to their sweet-pea partners to inflame lust. Lister comments: “Should a lover ever approach you carrying an oddly squashed farmhouse loaf, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

This might be a good time to get a bicycle. Among the best chapters is one subtitled “Sex and Cycling.” Lister explores the history of bicycles as agents in the emancipation of women.

Bicycles permitted women to become vastly more mobile; they could flee restrictive families. Cycling led to the wearing of freer clothing. “The bicycle,” Lister writes, “cannot be ridden sidesaddle.”

The machines horrified many Victorians, she writes, because “they forced a recognition that women had two legs and that they opened.” Men worried that women, upon them, would become excitable and easily led astray. ...

If you are lucky enough to have a stash of those tasty morsels known as graham crackers in your house, dip one in milk and, while chewing, recall that they were inspired by the work of the Rev. Sylvester Graham, the dietary reformer and temperance movement leader.

Graham “saw a clear link between rich food and masturbation,” Lister writes. The graham cracker was “designed to bore the libido into submission.” Ditto the cornflake, invented by John Harvey Kellogg. Lister is enjoyable to read on Kellogg’s follies. She writes: “Kellogg was filling his patients full of yogurt at one end and cornflakes at the other.”

Heh. I'm out of graham crackers, sadly -- & Target won't ship them! The rats.
Profile Image for Matthew Gurteen.
485 reviews6 followers
May 1, 2021
DNF at page 225.

Why is it always the books you hear the most praise for that let you down? I was doing so well this year to have not DNFed a book yet too...

A Curious History of Sex by Kate Lister is one of the worst non-fiction books published, and it has nothing to do with the subject matter. On the contrary, if Lister had given the topic the depth and objective treatment it deserves, this book would have been good. As it stands, it is a poorly researched mismatch of vague and politically influenced opinions on sex. Unlike Lister, I will not resort to informal language and humour when reviewing this book but properly talk about its faults.

The language is as good a place to begin as any. Throughout the book, Lister uses informal slang terms with what I assume the date of the first usage in brackets next to them. For example, when talking about genitalia, Lister may sax 'XXXX (1855).' This idea is not bad in itself. The book is not about language, however. Lister does not discuss terms at all. Instead, she casually inserts them into the text like a teenager for humour(?). I add the question mark because I struggle to see how this book is funny at all. Comparing the search for witches' teats to the dark-mark from Harry Potter is just childish.

I can appreciate what Lister was trying to do with this book. The style was very reminiscent of someone like Caitlin Doughty with her casual view of an otherwise adult subject. Unlike books such as Doughty's 'From Here to Eternity,' however, Lister uses jokes to make fun of and criticise views on sex that are not her own. Rather than opening herself up to other opinions when writing this book, I get the sense that the author already knew - or thought she knew - what she was going to find. Any opinion on sex that is not modern or western is heavily criticised without justification. I wonder why Lister would want to be a historian because it appears as if she hates anything that has not come from the past decade of feminism.

If there was one name I did not think would appear in this book, it was Hillary Clinton. Yes, sex and politics are obviously linked, but Lister inserts her own politics into this book and claims it is unbiased. Of course, this book has come from the sex-positive movement, which, whether you agree with it or not, is heavily left-leaning. Lister does not attempt to remove these politics from her book, and so the final product is essentially propaganda.

This point is also the reason why the book is more disclaimers than content. Even if Lister had removed these, she still would not have had enough space to give the topics the depth they need entirely. The first chapter alone could have been its own book, and the further chapters could have all been several. The book constantly asks questions but provides no answers for them. It might as well be a book of poorly written introductions. Lister barely touches the surface of the points she discusses, giving the most basic information that a quick Google search could prove, or indeed, disprove.

And so we reach the point in this review where I inevitable have to talk about all the lies and misrepresentations this book tries to give as facts. I am not an expert in the subject, but I still picked out many historical inaccuracies. Here are some of them:

1. Lister points to Joan of Arc being called a 'whore.' This is true, but it is more complex than the half a paragraph Lister gives. For more information, read any book on Joan of Arc. The English and some French questioned her virginity as a means to discredit her. Furthermore, it was often a play on words. As Lister fails to mention, Joan's name at the time was Joan la Pucelle, literally Joan the maid. Pucelle, however, was close to the English slang term of pussell, which also meant maid, but a prostitute one. Lister completely fails to mention or discuss this at all.

2. Lister talks about the Kama Sutra as a sex book even though it is so much more than that and should be treated with more respect as a religious text. This point is what I mean by Lister's treatment of anything non-Western. For more information, readers should read the complete Kama Sutra themselves.

3. In the chapter on sex and bread, Lister talks about the phallic symbols of the bakeries of Pompeii as if they had some special relationship. Erotica and phallic art and emblems were everywhere in Pompeii, and no one is certain why. Current theories suggest that the phallus acted like a kind of 'evil-eye,' warding away evil spirits. Lister does not mention this and instead implies an unsupported connection. For more information, readers can watch these two videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOmB3...
https://youtu.be/BCMv14fE1qI
or read this article https://www.lifeinitaly.com/tourism/c...

4. One of the biggest misconceptions of the modern era that this book also peddles in its chapter on bicycles is how oppressive and damaging corsets were. This point has been disproved repeatedly, but Lister says that the bicycle resulted in a change in women's 'dangerous' fashion. Although this could be one reason, it is not entirely true. Much of the anti-corset rhetoric arose from anti-feminist and anti-suffrage groups by men who wanted to disadvantage women further. For more information, watch these videos, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rExJs...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNwTq...

These are just four points I noticed, but who is to say how many more there are. I could not trust anything the book told me after reading those easily disproved or misrepresented points.

All of this is without even discussing the gender politics and sexism riddled throughout this book. It is necessary to provide another list of the damaging and prejudicial aspects this book contains.

1. Female genital mutilation, or mutilation of the vulva, which, because the book deals with history, is assumed to be feminine, is discussed at length as a horrific act - which indeed, it is - while the male equivalent is barely mentioned. The barbaric practice of circumcision, which continues unquestioned in America, is hardly discussed and, when it is, joked about. The difference in tone was astounding.

2. Similarly, female virginity is discussed at length, but the impact of the concept on men's mental health is consigned to a footnote. Yes, historically, virginity has played a more prominent role in women's oppression for various reason, but Lister dismisses modern expectations of men as if they are nothing.

3. When men's issues are discussed, they are always preluded by how women have it worse. Although this may be true, did Lister not think she would be alienating half of her readership?

4. Erectile dysfunction is implied to be a personal failing despite the obviously damaging effect this opinion could have on people with penises. I cannot help but feel Lister would not see vaginal dryness as a personal failing, so why is the double standard present?

5. Finally, another double standard that can be seen all the time online and in the so-called 'sex-positive movement' is the fear-mongering of sex toys and dolls for people with penises. In her discussion of vibrators, Lister sees them as empowering. For toys not meant for use in or around a vagina, however, the pleasure is demining. She seems to suggest a link between them and necrophilia and say that greek statues of women were an early example. On top of this, the chapter on 'boys' sex toys spends more time discussing the cost of said items than their impact or history. The cost of modern vibrators was, needless to say, not mentioned.

All of these points lead me to say that I cannot recommend this book at all. I was hoping for an objective, factual study into the history of sex and sexuality worldwide. Instead, what Lister provides is a damaging and judgemental book of lies and half-truths to fuel her own agenda and ultimately do more harm than good in the discussion of sex in today's world. If it was not already apparent, I could not recommend it to anyone.
Profile Image for Cardiff Feminist Book Club.
18 reviews17 followers
May 11, 2021
What a sex positive, honest and fun discussion! Most of us really enjoyed the book and found it engaging, interesting and bloody laugh out loud funny. Our only negative is that we wanted it to bring the discussion into the modern context and discuss the implications for sex and sexuality more.

We discussed themes that emerged from the book for us and spent a lot of time talking about shame; around sex and bodies, about women's sexuality in particular and the absolute fear men have had of women's sexuality throughout History!

We liked that each chapter gave you an overview of a particular area (sex and bicycles was a particular fave) and gave resources for exploring that more.

We reflected on disgust around women's pubic hair and the onslaught of culture and advertising that tells us we have to be 'slick as a dolphin' (thanks for that analogy @polly).

We discussed the use of language to describe women's bodies and that most names for the vagina are related to men (sheath!) We're all agreed the best term to use is #TeamCunt

Take aways:
#TeamCunt
The book provides a jump off point for further reading
We enjoyed reading it in public to cause embarrassment to teenage children
Profile Image for Brigi.
922 reviews99 followers
May 15, 2022
This is a highly readable book - I am so bad with non fiction, but this was really interesting! I particularly liked the chapter on the bicycle and women's emancipation and the outrage it sparked among men, as I've never heard it discussed before. The part about male sex workers and the "tart cards" was also intriguing. Wish there had been more lgbt themes/topics, but I know it's impossible to cover everything.
Profile Image for Rubi.
1,964 reviews71 followers
August 19, 2024
Me ha encantado como aborda el tema, como nos despierta la curiosidad con todos los datos históricos que aporta, la buena selección de ilustraciones; pero sobre todo he apreciado el conocimiento, labor de investigación y documentación para regalarnos esta joya de información y revelaciones, mucho muy instructivo.
I loved how she approaches the subject, how she awakens our curiosity with all the historical data she provides, the good selection of illustrations; but above all I have appreciated the knowledge, research work and documentation to give us this gem of information and revelations, much of it very instructive.
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