Telling Memories Among Southern Women: Domestic Workers and Their Employers in the Segregated South

by Susan Tucker

This is a collection of oral-history narratives that explore the complex bond between black female domestic workers and their white employers from the turn of the 20th century to the civil rights revolution of the 1960s. It is based on interviews with 42 women of both races from the Deep South.

Genres: History, Nonfiction, Memoir, Race, Southern, American History, Biography

294 pages, Paperback

First published November 1, 1988

Reviews

[Maria Christensen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I haven't read "The Help" but reading the reviews reminded me of this book which I read for an upper level Modern Southern History class in college about 12 years ago. The book is perhaps more suited for those with a deep interest in history than the casual reader. I received an A+ on the paper I wrote for this book (which is more of a statement on the writing abilities of my classmates than my intellectual abilities) and one thing in particular always struck me: the deep divide between the perception of the white women and the unspoken reality of their servants. I lived in Savannah, GA while reading this and majoring in history. That divide still existed, albeit in a slightly different form.

One interview sums up what I know from personal experience. The woman who was interviewed was angry. Angry at Northerners for persisting in believing that Southerners hate blacks. "There was never any hate in anybody's heart," she said. She, and most of the white women interviewed for the book, loved their servants. Of course, they loved them the way you love a child or a favorite pet. There was a lot of condescension and patronizing and a complete inability to believe that their servants did not tell them everything they felt. There was an utter lack of empathy and these women never acknowledged, not even to themselves, that they held a fearful, economic power over their servants that was always going to create a wall. They wore rose colored glasses about the way things were and nothing, not ever, is going to make them take them off.

[Randee · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was eager to read "Telling Memories..." as it is the "real" book upon which The Help was based. Hoping to find the story in which the domestic worker said, "I adored the little girl in the home in which I worked," I was sadly disillusioned as reality wore on through the non-fiction book. While there were mutually appreciative relationships and kindnesses, it was unnerving to hear the ways in which the white employers often spoke "lovingly" in the same way one would speak of a beloved pet. I am still a bit haunted.

[Jennifer Kristin Taheri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Got this on the $1.00 table at The Strand in NYC. It tickled me to find a book on this subject so far from home. I read it on the long drive home, and I loved it. It reminded me of the stories my Mama had about 'Bessie', when she was growing up, reminded me of some of my old clients, that were born just a couple of generations out of the slave South, and it reminded me of my own personal motto "Everyone has a story, and an extraordinary one."

[Kent Hayden · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you read the Help or saw the movie, this book was mentioned by that author as being a source of inspiration and fact for her fiction.

A equally divided number of interview with both black maids and servants and their white bosses are presented and the introductions to both the sections and the interviewed make this a fascinating book that one would have thought long gone in our time.

[Tracey · Rating 4.75 out of 5]

This book is even better than The Help. There is nothing repetitive about it! It is near and dear to my heart, as a black woman, to read these stories coming from both sides (black and white). The stories are well-written and provide a vast amount of knowledge of what life was really like for these women. I treasure my copy of this book and hope the author will write a PART 2, as I am sure there are more women to be interviewed. I liked the book so much that I bought it for my two daughters to read, and the book (when I am finished reading it) will be stored as a treasure in my personal library. I even highlighted areas in the book I wanted to remember. This book is something else!!!!

[Jennyanne Shacklock · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’ve read The Help then you’ll know some of the issues this book looks at and it’s not an easy read but do read it.
It’s soul destroying at times then enlightening at others but I couldn’t put it down.
Historically fascinating and from a social side eye opening in ways I wish I hadn’t read but I only read it, these ladies lived it. Humbling.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Keeping in mind that the interviews were conducted in the 1980s, and the challenges of race between subject and interviewer, overall I thought the interviews were interesting and thought-provoking. I am disappointed that the portions of the interviews in the book were so short. Which is why I'm thankful all the interviews, in their totality have been archived at the Newcomb College Center for Research on Women at Tulane University.

[Mary · Rating 2 out of 5]

Didn’t finish the book. The stories were too repetitive after about a quarter of the book.

[Kimberly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Basis for The Help? Sure seems like it.

[jmilesc · Rating 3 out of 5]

Did not finish. I tried- and if I were in the right mood I think I’d appreciate it more.

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

After watching The Help, and reading the book, I wanted to know the stories of the other maids. This book was used for reference by the Author of The Help. I liked reading the interviews of the domestics and people who hired domestics much more than the Author's analysis of the interviews, which is about half the book. Though written in the 80's, I was shocked at some of the things said by older white southern woman that are just not acceptable today. But also, I was shocked that things had changed so much in just about the 20 years from when The Help takes place and this book was written. It was very interesting to hear the accounts of the employers and employees, and the way they interacted. Though nothing was as shocking as what the maids in The Help revealed in the book and movie.

[Ali · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the book that Kathryn Stockett used for research for The Help.  And a model for the book that Skeeter and the maids wrote in that book.  Except.   The actual book interviewed both black maids and white employers.  And it was written in the 80's, when the way of life it describes was mostly dead and gone.  Some of the white women, with the benefit of hindsight, reflected on their days of employing (exploiting?) maids with unease.  But many viewed those days with nostalgia, as a time when everyone lived in harmony.  The black women - not so much.  Granted, there was often affection on both sides.  But it was a sorely unequal relationship, with the black woman scraping by on a pittance, eked out by the gift of their employer's discards and leavings.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Forty Two interviews that have been edited into narratives create an oral history of relations between female black domestics and their white female employers that is illuminating, educational, and highly readable. The book is divided into five sections. Each contains an epilogue, the domestics narratives, and ends with the employers narratives. The ages of the interviewees varies greatly but they all have the common denominator of the segregated south as a backdrop to their stories. Definitely a must read if you enjoyed Stockett's The Help.

[Melissa Moritz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Makes ya think for sure and kinda gives you a sense of what all women went through during that era. I feel for both not only because of equality and segregation but for the children that grew up during this time not understanding and "getting" that segregation was wrong but being told "that's just what we do". The relationships and bonds that some of these women shared were touching. And then there were some that were...not so much and I couldn't understand as a human being you could not be compassionate for another human being no matter what the color of their skin is.

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting stories and accounts of black slaves and domestic workers - the inspiration behind Kathryn Stockett's The Help, which is a 5-star book! I was happy to see that there were some good relationships between domestic workers and their employers. Some workers were taken care of their whole lives, like part of the family. The interviews were somewhat dry, but altogether enlightening on the subject.

[Jeanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was recommended in a discussion about Kathryn Stockett's book, The Help, which I read some time ago. Stockett seems a little too young to have experienced life as written about in the book, and this was recommended as a better interpretation. It is a collection of interviews of women who employed domestic workers in the South and the domestics themselves. The study was done in 1984, so was a little closer to the time. An interesting read.

[Cara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was really eager to get this book when I read that it was one of the sources/inspirations for The Help. I thought it would be really in-depth, fascinating stories from real women's lives. But actually, it's just a few pages per person, taken from interviews. You get a general sense of what life was like (which I already had) but no real feel for the day-to-day. I guess what I wanted was details, and there's no room for them here. After awhile, all the stories start to seem the same.

[Barbw · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book Telling Memories was listed in Kathryn Stockett's comments at the end of the novel The Help. Instead of being about the lives of black domestics, Telling Memories focused on the lives of female slaves during and shortly after slavery. Some of the slaves seemed to carefully answer the interviewers' questions and only a few seemed very honest about what their lives were like.

[Caroline · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got this out after reading The Help since the author said she got a lot of her inspiration from it. I found it very interesting to read especially since those experiences are so far removed from my own. I thought that the narratives could of been organized a bit better but all in all, engrossing.

[Monique · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinting study about the lives of African Americian women as domestic workers and the relationships which developed with their white employers from the turn of the twentieth century until the civil rights movement in the 1960s. The collection of oral histories adds a poignant quality to the tales told within.

[Lin · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,75/5 stars. I picked this up after reading The Help, because The Help had such an influence on me and I wanted to learn more about this topic. I'm glad I read it, as it helped me to get a clearer picture about the conventions and lifestyles in the South in those times. The book includes a lot of interesting narratives and deals with different aspects of domestic work in the South.

[Lamandra · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't finish this book - and that means a lot since I lean toward compulsive and can't stand not to finish a book once I start it. It's a series of interviews, written like a monologue for each interviewee, and just didn't hold my interest.

[Eileen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this to be a tedious read. I wanted to read it since it was listed as a source for the fictional book "The Help". It was interesting, but hard to get through. I am done with my copy if anybody wants it.

[Teresa Pinegar · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the book that inspired the author of The Help to write her novel. These are actual interviews of white female employees and of domestic workers. I really enjoyed this book and found it very fasinating!

[Jill Johnston · Rating 3 out of 5]

Amazing what was believed as truth in those days. We can sit back and pass judgment, or we can wonder, what truths do we believe today that are in fact a means of oppressing and maintaining a status quo?

[Micebyliz · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for better understanding of our society. I read The Help but it doesn't measure up to this book which is the real thing. i realize one is a novel and the other is research, but i think the comparison is valid.

[Jamie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Couldn't finish it...due back at library, but parts I did read were interesting...

[Kristin Daugherty · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this after I read "The Help" because it was a referenced book... Good Golly Miss Molly... Gave me a lot to think about.

[Teeniemisfeldt · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was very interesting, especially if you liked The Help--these are non-fiction accounts.

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very informative and entertaining (in spots).