Mom, They're Teasing Me: Helping Your Child Solve Social Problems

by Michael G. Thompson

Through vividly written case studies and a reader-friendly question-and-answer format, Mom, They’re Teasing Me is full of specific, how-to advice for parents to help their children navigate the sometimes harsh terrain of social life–which includes name-calling, after-school fights, esteem-crushing cliques, and malicious exclusion by the popular kids. Through thoughtful discussion and insightful suggestions, parents will discover

• The difference between real risk and normal social pain
• The appropriate time to intervene–and when to step back
• Tips on how to mediate between children–without appearing meddlesome
• The importance of teaching and encouraging leadership
• The redemptive power of friendship

Mom, They’re Teasing Me answers key questions about the many manifestations of social cruelty, offers compelling descriptions of prime “teasing” scenarios, and illustrates how to counter them. It is an indispensable book for involved parents who want to make their child’s formative years rich and rewarding.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Childrens

247 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2002

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

psychologist, school consultant and international speaker on the subjects of children, schools and parenting

Reviews

[Nata]

O carte utilă și practică (veți găsi la fiecare capitol studii de caz, întrebări și răspunsuri) despre tachinare și agresiunea cu care se confruntă un copil în cadrul unei școli sau în alt mediu social.
Mi-a plăcut structura cărții, e scrisă pentru părinți, dar și pentru învățători/profesori. Fiecare are un rol în rezolvarea tachinării.

Să o citiți și voi.

[Zoe]

I highly recommend this book for anyone who wants to understand the "big picture" surrounding bullying in schools and in society. Instead of consoling targets and punishing bullies, this book advocates preventive measures for bullies and the empowerment of targets. I am starting to see that regular, consistent training for members of any social group (such as an elementary school classroom) in positive social skills is a must. This book is going to become part of my permanent tool box.

[Eugenia]

I like the authors' perspective in these issues. I guess the book is somewhat reassuring. My impression is that it is better at giving guidelines about when to vs. when not to get involved rather than what should be done. Some of the question/answer sections are valuable if your kid is having that particular problem. More valuable than the last book on the subject that I read...

[Danielle]

This book was not what I expected, or exactly what I was looking for, but it was still extremely interesting and helpful! I picked up this book because my 7 year old daughter has been saying "no one likes me" and "I have no friends" a lot lately. But all the evidence points to the contrary- she appears to make friends very easily, has almost no social fear, and is always playing with whatever other kids are around! So I wanted to get to the bottom of this, and see if there's anything I can/should do. Her particular "problem" was not directly addressed in the book, but I did find that there are much bigger problems out there in girl-land. And that I probably have no need to worry, as long as I parent my kids well- support them through disappointment, help them deal with their emotions, but generally let them live their own lives. The usual stuff.

What I really loved about this book is the way it deciphered children's social hierarchy, and why there is a hierarchy at all, why some kids are at the top and others at the bottom. It helped me understand when this hierarchy gets out of control and becomes very dysfunctional and possibly damaging to the children- and how the adults can and should step in. I don't think my kids have been in that environment (yet) but I recognize it from my own childhood. So it was helpful to process some of the stuff that I and my sister went through, understand why it was the way it was, and recognize the signs of something like that happening with my own kids.

[Shana]

Seems more useful for teachers than parents, also while he has measured counsel on a few points, his viewpoint is sort of negative, that kids are horrid and cruel. I think a more current book (post Wonder) would highlight the power parents, teachers and kids have to see beyond and be kinder and more inclusive. Maybe I am naive. I was looking for tips for my child who has a sometimes visible ailment that her classmates notice and found nothing of use for how she can better deal with questions comments, negative body language, etc.

But there are some general scenarios he gives examples for how to approach that may be helpful to others.

[Christen]

Wonderful book offering relief and reassurance to parents. I enjoyed all of the stories and words of advice.

I see the theme of attachment as the force that touches all social interaction and much of the joy of our existence. I liked the reminders of thinking back to one's own childhood and the embarrassment and shock of having parents try to meddle or understand the social nuances of friendships, popularity, and culture. But the bedrock of parental attachment and support is needed at the same time. It's a fine line but I like how this book encourages us to walk it and be there for our children.

[Sydney]

Lots of good advice re: children's friendships. I wish more teachers would read books like this one, too.

Read for research.

Only critique: some of the depictions of gender roles seemed a bit outdated.

[Ana Porumbaceanu]

O carte buna per ansamblu, insa spre sfarsit modelul american, sa zic asa, apare la suprafata.
Totusi o recomand parintilor si chiar cadrelor didactice pentru a stii cum sa abordeze la clasa probleme precum bullying, rivalitate, rautati, popularitate vs.tocilari, timiditatea, etc.

Ii acord 3 stele pentru ca a fost cateva ocazii in care subiectul fie s-a repetat sub alta forma ( adevenit oarecum redundant), fie modelul american era extrem de vizibil. Este normal sa fie asa, autorii sunt americani, insa eu m-am plictisit oarecum spre final.

[Melissa’s Bookshelf]

This book was insightful in distinguishing between what is normal and abnormal in childhood social situations. It was helpful in illustrating many of the situations children experience in elementary, jr. high and high school. It also made me realize that often what we think might be a traumatizing situation for our child turns out to be not that bad. My only wish was that there was a little more advice on how to help children cope with the all too real pain of exclusion and teasing.

[Myfanwy]

Excellent, helpful book. One of the things I find most challenging about being a parent are the social issues my child faces in interacting with other children. This book gives great advice for parents and educators in helping children through the ups and downs of social living without living their childhood for them (or imposing your own childhood woes on them).

[Doni]

This book was the most realistic representation of childhood I've ever read. But I felt that most of the advice was how to have a more accurate perception of what was going on in your child's life, not as much how to help him or her change what was going on for the better.

[Ling]

The book is nice and helps parents understanding kids' social world. However, it is not as scientific or helpful as I expected. The answers to many of the questions either wander away from the topics in question or sound like "common sense" to me. Not many suggestions are practical either.

[Karen]

Interesting discussion of what is truly problematic and what is just "normal social pain".

[Ruth]

A great book for teachers to read.

[Debbie]

The book was a good read but as others said, there is not much take-away information in it.