Speaking of Boys: Answers to the Most-Asked Questions About Raising Sons

by Michael G. Thompson, Teresa Barker

My eight-year-old son is the only boy in his class who doesn't have a Gameboy. I don't want him to be ostracized for not having one, but I worry that it's addictive. What do you think?

Our two sons are eleven and fourteen, and they are fiercely competitive. The tension around our house is awful. How can we help them get along better?

We've worked very hard to keep our ten-year-old son in touch with his feelings. Sometimes it seems as if we've put him at a disadvantage, surrounded by tougher boys who can be pretty cruel with teasing. How can we help him protect himself when other boys start to tease?

With his bestselling book Raising Cain, Michael Thompson, Ph.D., at last broke the silence surrounding the emotional life of boys and spearheaded an important national debate. His warmth and humor quickly made him a popular and respected international speaker and consultant. Now he directs his authority, insight, and eloquence to answering your questions about raising a son. With candid questions and thoughtful, detailed responses, Speaking of Boys covers hot-button topics such as peer pressure, ADHD/ADD, and body image as well as traditional issues such as friendship, divorce, and college and career development. This perceptive, informative, and passionate book will leave you not only with useful, practical advice but also with the comforting knowledge that other parents share the same concerns you do when it comes to raising our boys into well-adjusted, responsible men.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

352 pages, Paperback

First published August 1, 2000

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

psychologist, school consultant and international speaker on the subjects of children, schools and parenting

Reviews

[Donald · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful, practical advice on how to effectively parent boys ages 4-18. The book is structured in a Q&A format, with each chapter addressing a different topic. The author had no religious, political, or other emotional agenda. It was fascinating that his advice at times could have applied in 2023 even though the book was written in 2000. The main takeaways for me are to be patient with my sons and allow them to seek their strength and independence. If I listen, be available, and avoid over controlling, we will manage through these pre-adult years. I plan to read this multiple times over the next several years.

[Shae · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't read this entire book, just the two chapters that were the most relevant to my specific time with an almost thirteen year old. The book looks like it was written awhile ago (note the reference to Gameboys in the description), but it reads as very spot on and enduring with the psychology. It was a great way to check my parenting strategy against his current stage of life and make some adjustments.

[Christine Comito · Rating 3 out of 5]

answers to the most-asked questions about raising sons, by the author of Raising Cain

[Sally · Rating 3 out of 5]

Written by Michael Thompson and Teresa Barker, this book describes the questions Dr. Thompson has been asked by parents of boys over his counseling career. Related questions are organized by topics (e.g Girls, Love and Sexuality; Social Anger and Aggression) so it is easy to find what parents have asked regarding those subjects, and includes Dr. Thompson's responses.

This book cannot cover every single question that he's been asked or you might have, but it is certainly worth a read. I wish it also had an index or table that related the questions by age since some topics had questions asked by parents of younger kids as well as by teenagers.

I will definitely keep this on my book shelf as I will need to re-read parts of it as my sons get older and we have specific areas we are interested in.

A good overall picture of what goes on in the minds of boys!

[Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The question & answer format means there is lots of specific, practical
advice. It is not a thorough look at ages and stages or brain development. (The author's other book Raising Cain is more comprehensive.) I'd say most of the advice is related to older kids and teens and some of it got repetitive (basically, if your teenage son acts like a jerk, it's because he's differentiating himself from you and proving his manhood). I'm uneasy about his casual attitude toward video gaming based on other books I've read (namely Boys Adrift). What I liked was the way each answer included specific things to say and do. As a parent it can help to have those "scripts" when you feel in danger of freaking out.

[Jenn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am always seeking out resources that will continue to help me be the best mom that I can be. This book was written in the question/answer format. As with many self-help books, some topics were relevant to my own boys and some--not so much. It did help me feel like I could better define boundaries in my children's behavior. Concrete examples will make this a good book for my reference library as my boys continue to grow and change.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Im a little bit scared by this book. I pretty much figured out after reading the question and answers that I have alot to learn with regards to raising my three boys. YIKES.

The book was good, the content was varied from questions concerning 4 year olds to 18 year olds. It was grouped by subject matter broadly, but, I think it might have worked better grouped by age, only because I spent alot of time skipping around trying to find question and answers pertaining to my children's ages.

[Kellie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I went to an event and listened to the author speak about boys. I was very impressed. This book wasn't as good as him in person, though. It was a god book and it isn't that I disagreed with him, it's just that most of it was common sense and dealt with problems with older boys. Most of it didn't have anything to do with the problems we are having with Jeremy. I will still read his other books in hope that they will be more helpful for us.

[Melly · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an excellent book -- questions and answers by a psychologist who wrote "Raising Cain" (which I now want to read). I like his voice, and his experience, and his insight. Truthfully, most of the questions are about boys older than my own, but it was helpful to see what's coming down the pike. I feel like I really learned about some male motivations that I didn't know about before.

[Joan Kilpatrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great for anyone with a boy in your life!

This book was much easier to digest than Raising Cain, another of his books. I think it was because of the specific question and answer format. There are so many things about boys I never understood, and so many things about being a child and teen that I had forgotten, that his explained a lot of why boys react the way they do.

[Cori · Rating 3 out of 5]

A light overview of common dilemmas and issues parents encounter when raising boys. The author used actual questions and then responded so the info is fairly surface-level and reads much like Dear Abbey or other advice columns.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

While a lot is common sense, there were some great insights into what makes boys and men tick. It was new for me and when I shared it with my husband, he couldnt' believe I didn't know this already. So it may help with our relationship as well.

[Deron · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't read all of this just skimmed it (after reading Raising Cain I was curious to read more by Thompson) but the parts I read I enjoyed. Smart, thoughtful, and liberal advice for raising kids. Mostly skewers towards middle school/high school advice.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

In a Q&A format, this book address questions about parenting boys. Some are applicable to the current life-phase of my boys; others aren't. All in all, it's a good, definitely not-too-heavy reading for parents of boys.

[Joanna]

Raising Cain was wonderful and so far this book is very informative too.

[D'Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

http://dwitkowski.blogspot.com/2009/0...

[Jennie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot of these questions were about boys older than the ones I have, but I liked the author's approach and it's good for me to realize what I might be getting into in a few years.

[Stephanie]

Classic.

[Alison Kenney · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recommend anything that Dr Michael Thompson writes.