5 ⭐ The Strange Ride of Morrowbie Jukes
At least for this story, Hindus have a custom where, if death lays hold of you, and you are on your way, or at the ghat, to be burned by the river, and if you somehow recover, and seem to be breathing, your mouth and nose are stuffed with mud. If you resist too much, then you are taken to the place of the"living dead." A crater in the sand, in the lower central Indian Desert, inescapable with its three sides of 65° slope, and the fourth side opening on a river and quicksand. In the river, a boat patrols, where anyone trying to escape is shot.
An English engineer, suffering deliriously from fever, rides his horse out with a"hog spear," intending to kill a dog baying at the moon, interrupting his rest. The horse takes off like crazy, having not been let out of his stall for days, and after a wild ride, stumbles over the lip of the crater, and horse and rider tumble down the aforementioned slope.
A colony of the"living dead," abominably stinking, is what Jukes discovers living in this forsaken place, where the only thing to be found to eat, is crow, if you can trick it into letting you catch it.
Now what does he do?
3 ⭐ The Phantom Rickshaw
A man seduces another man's wife on the Peninsula and Orientation steamship, going back to India. After he uses her up, he cruelly dropped her. So she haunts him. Oh, that all user-men could in reality be done this way.
His fiancee dumps him after he tells her he is haunted by his ex-girlfriend. He has a breakdown, and while recovering, gets a letter from her. His doctor reads him part of it:
"says that a man who would have behaved to a woman as you did to Mrs wessington ought to kill himself out of sheer pity for his kind."
The sniveling man feels sorry for himself:
"why couldn't Agnes have left me alone? I never did her any harm. It might just as well have been me as agnes. Only I'd never have come back on purpose to kill her. Why can't I be left alone - left alone and happy?"
He wants us to pity him 😂
"Pity me, at least on the score of my 'delusion,' for I know you will never believe what I have written here. Yet as surely as ever a man was done to death by the Powers of Darkness I am that man.
In justice, too, pity her. For as surely as ever woman was killed by man, I killed Mrs wessington. And the last portion of my punishment is even now upon me."
2 ⭐ Gemini
Twin brothers: both money-lenders, and they hate each other. One lends money to a rich landowner, the other lends money to poor villagers. The poorer one is beaten by the landowner, thinking he is his brother. The richer one picks him up and brings him to his house, to "care" for him. But he robs him instead.
I don't feel sorry for any money lender and I think that's the moral of the story.
3 ⭐ A Wayside Comedy
A bleak look at adultery in an isolated "Station" with only two married couples and a bachelor. Men suck.
3 ⭐ At Twenty Two
A take-off on the story of Germinal (where miners die in a flooding mine shaft).
2 ⭐ The Education of Otis Yeere
These ladies of leisure, that Kipling writes of in this short story, have too much time on their hands, and spend it meddling in young men's lives. Young men most often can largely stand improvement, in my disappointed experience, so I guess they could do worse.
One seasoned meddler, Mrs Mallowe, is coaching a less seasoned meddler, Mrs Haukesbee, in how to mold a young man.
" 'I warn you,' said Mrs Mallowe, beginning to repent of her suggestion, 'that the matter is not half so easy as it looks. Any woman - even the topsham girl - can catch a man, but very, very few know how to manage him when caught.' " 🙄
3 ⭐ The Hill of Illusion
A married woman and her Sancho have decided to run away together. He comes into town and they go for a rickshaw ride, discussing final arrangements.
2 ⭐ Dray Wara Yow Dee (all three are one)
Dumb story about a guy who got cuckolded and couldn't let it go. 🙄
2 ⭐ The Judgment of Dungara (the God Dungara is the God of Things as They Are)
"ask the grey heads of the Bannockburn medical Crusade what manner of Life their preachers lead; speak to the Racine gospel agency, those lean Americans whose boast is that they go where no English man there follow; get a pastor of the tübingen mission to talk of his experiences -- if you can. you will be referred to the printed reports, but these contain no mention of the men who have lost youth and health, all that a man may lose except faith, in the wilds; of English maidens who have gone forth and died in the fever-stricken jungle of the Panth hills, knowing from the first that death was almost a certainty. Few pastors will tell you of these things anymore than they will speak of that young David of St Bees who, set apart from the Lord's work, broke down in the utter desolation, and returned half distraught to the head mission, crying, 'there is no god, but I have walked with the devil!' "
Oh, those crooked missionaries got their just desserts in this one!
2 ⭐ With the Main Guard
Some Scotch soldiers have the midnight watch on the fort at Lahore, and it's blazing hot. To distract themselves, they tell the story of a battle they destroyed the enemy in. But their accents are written so thick, that half the reading of it is trying to figure out what they're saying.
The cute part is a little 2-year-old, walking in her sleep they find by the ditch where they go to cool off when the relief guard comes at 4 am.
3 ⭐ The Flood Time
An Englishman wants to cross the River Barhwi, but it's too swollen by rains. The old Muslim crossing-keeper invites him into his hut, invites him to his hookah, to await the river going down. Meanwhile, he recounts a story from his youth, when he was having a midnight affair across the river with a Hindi widow, and a great flood in the river nearly drowned him.
The Englishman is too grumpy for the hospitality of the crossing-keeper, imo.
2 ⭐ Only a Subaltern
An English boy makes it into some famous regiment in India, that his father had been famous in before him. He rises in the ranks and is the favorite of his commanding officers. After 3 years, he gets 3 months leave in Simla, where he attends balls, etc. He gets recalled after 2 months because of an outbreak of cholera. He goes back and rallies the men under him, especially one who is drinking too much (they thought that spirits would help fight off sickness). Sad ending.
3 ⭐ Baa Baa Black Sheep
The author and his little sister, at the ages of 5 and 3, are taken to England and boarded with strangers, for what reason the reader is not told. It's a horrible place for the boy, but the girl is coddled by the woman. The husband, "Uncle Harry," is his only solace, as he takes him for long walks to the ocean and around the countryside. The couple's son is a bully to the young Kipling. "Aunty Rosa" teaches him to read, however unwillingly, and then he is able to write letters to his parents in Bombay. Best of all, he can escape his misery in books he finds in the house, and those he is sent by his father. Alas, it's also a source for Aunt Rosa's punishment:
" 'don't disturve me, I'm reading. Go and play in the kitchen,' grunted punch.' Auntie Rosa lets YOU go there.' Judy was cutting her second teeth and was fretful. she appealed to auntie rosa, who descended on punch.
'I was reading,' he explained, 'reading a book. I WANT to read.'
'you're only doing that to show off,' said auntie Rosa. 'But we'll see. Play with Judy now, and don't open a book for a week.'
Judy did not pass a very enjoyable play time with punch, who was consumed with indignation. There was a pettiness at the bottom of the prohibition which puzzled him.
'it's what I like to do,' he said, 'and she's found out that and stopped me. Don't cry, Ju -- it wasn't your fault -- please don't cry, or she'll say I made you.' "
Life gets worse and worse for the previously spoiled boy, with frequent beatings. He graduates to the name of "Black Sheep." His only solace is to read, which is frequently denied him as a punishment.
Uncle Harry dies, making life that much bleaker, and he is made to go to day-school.
The boy Harry gets him in more trouble there, encouraging boys to beat him.
After 5 years, the missing parents show up. Much damage has been done by then.
5 ⭐ At the Pit's Mouth
This is one of those stories that gives you über schadenfreude.
3 ⭐ Black Jack
The "three musketeers," soldiers from Ireland who share their ups and downs, are once again in a story. One of them recounts a tale of twelve "black Irish" soldiers who conspire to murder an officer and blame it on him, their roommate. But he overhears them planning it, and does his own conspiring.
You have to get used to the way their Irish accent is written, or you will get a headache trying to figure out what Kipling is saying.
2 ⭐ On the City Wall
Lalun, a sex worker, holds a salon in her house in the City Wall of Lahore. The narrator goes there often and meets Wali Dad, an agnostic Muslim there. From Lalun's window, you can see the Fort, where an old, famous Sikh is kept imprisoned.
On the night of a Muslim festival, the Hindus and the muslims clash, and a riot begins. Amidst the fighting, (as the troops from the fort have been called out) Khem Singh escapes, and Lalun helps him climb up the City Wall to her window. The narrator escorts him across the city, where a hired carriage awaits him.
3 ⭐ The Man Who Would be King
Pretty crazy story about two Loafers (Englishmen in India with no visible means of support), who come to the newspaperman narrator's office in the steaming hot madrugada of a June night some city in India, asking to look at maps and encyclopedias, telling him they are going to the mountain villages of afghanistan to be Kings. Three years later, same hot madrugada, same steaming June night, and a broken-down, hobbled man comes straggling into the newspaperman narrator's office and tells him their story, of finding a village of white supposed descendents of Alexander the Great, and making them their subjects.