Der Psychopath in dir - Entdecke deine verborgenen Stärken! (Fischer Paperback 3273)

by Kevin Dutton

*** Nutze den Psychopathen in dir! ***Gibt es gute Psychopathen? Bin ich am Ende selbst einer?Kaltblütig, berechnend, abgebrüht, hemmungslos –Psychopathen gelten gemeinhin als gefährliche Zeitgenossen. Doch viele Eigenschaften, die uns zu Psychopathen machen, lassen sich auch positiv für mehr Selbstvertrauen, Konzentrationsfähigkeit, Entscheidungsfreude und Charisma – Qualitäten, die Menschen erfolgreich und glücklich machen. Kevin Dutton, Bestsellerautor und Fachmann, und der ausgewiesene Psychopath Andy McNab zeigen auf beeindruckende Weise, welche Vorteile es hat, ein guter Psychopath zu das Erfolgsgeheimnis für mehr Liebe, Glück und Zufriedenheit im Leben.Vom Autor der Spiegel-Bestseller »Gehirnflüsterer« und »Psychopathen«

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Business, Audiobook, Personal Development, Science

411 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2014

About the author

Dr Kevin Dutton is a researcher at the Department of Experimental Psychology, University of Oxford, and a member of the Oxford Centre for Emotions and Affective Neuroscience (OCEAN) research group.

He regularly publishes in leading international scientific journals and speaks at conferences around the world.

Reviews

[Robert J. Engleman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great topic...but in need of ruthless editor.

A psychopathic, ruthless editor. A steely-eyed surgeon of style. A knife wielding wizard of words, a cunning crusader of...

Ok, you probably get it. The topic itself is fascinating. But, god please spare us the *alliteration*. There does seem to be an improvement in editing from Wisdom of Psychopaths...here we are spared the tortured metaphors of the previous book.

Obviously since I read his last book, and bought this, I find the topic of what I suppose could be called "applied psychopathy" to be very intriguing. Just in need of a ruthless editor. Perhaps it's me, but the writing distracts from the topic and work.

[Alannah Marie · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is nothing but pop-psychology. A 'good psychopath' is an oxymoron.
Anyone who has ever had to deal with a psychopath in a workplace, will know that they are not team players and although they are attracted to leadership positions, they make terrible leaders.
They steal, they lie, they cheat, they are parasitic, they bully others, they take foolish risks, they don't develop longterm goals, they don't form good long-term relationships. It takes more than charm or ambition to be successful.
Great leaders are often known for being able to inspire, motivate and direct a team. They are also honest, connect with people well, helpful and considerate. These are all things that require a decent amount of empathy.

[Emily G · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am starting a new job at work where I'm going to be managing a large team of operatives, and my default setting is 'nice'. This book, therefore, has given me insight on how to use my innate inner psychopath strengths, and dial back my emotional, overly empathetic side, to get what I want out of my team and not what they want out of me!

So why not five stars? Because I didn't agree with all the scenarios detailed in the book, as they could easily have ended more violently, imho, if the person didn't have a sense of humour! I also think that we would have benefitted from understanding why Andy McNab failed the first time he went for SAS selection, but it wasn't even mentioned.

The combination of Kevin Dutton and Andy McNab works well, I think, and is a clever marketing tool. I only bought because I like Andy McNab, he seems very down-to-earth when you meet him and I was interested to hear his take on how to be successful in life.

[Flint · Rating 1 out of 5]

I guess I should have stuck to my usual reaction to any 'self-help' book that has the word 'success' in its title and steered clear. Or perhaps I should just steer clear from self-help books.

But the idea intrigued me and having read Kevin Dutton's book ' the wisdom of psychopaths' I gave it a try.

I'm also generally quite interested in research about the mind and about what separates 'psychopaths' from the rest of us.
But what I got from this book is 'pop psychology' and while that isn't necessarily an immediate turn off to me, albeit a bit of a turn-off, the book was also somehow boring.

Let's be clear there are probably some points I could use in this book practically for a week or two until I, of course, derail to my baseline of 'miserable git.' For example, I should probably take heed of the idea of 'just doing it' As I do have a tendency to over analyse everything till I become paralysed by my analysis and either don't act on something or by the time I get around to acting on it being so tired of whatever it is being in my head putting minimal effort into the actual thing I should just do.

I do wish I could be a psychopath if not just so I no longer had to feel! Because fuck knows I'm tired of feeling things. I guess that's why this title appealed to me.

But as I'm learning repeatedly but still keep trying like a mad-man to read self-help books, they are full of bollocks or I am. Or both. Or maybe we are all full of bollocks.

Perhaps instead of self-help books, I should become a drug addict instead, or at least get a self-help book in hardback that is also voluminous so I can wack myself over the head with it till I'm numb.

[Luke · Rating 5 out of 5]

What is a good psychopath? And how can thinking like one help you to be the best that you can be?

i started this book before i started college and it was a great help to me, now I've never been a great believer in self help books but have to be honest when i saw this book i thought "thats a weird but interesting name for a book? hummm maybe i should give it a look see" and its bad its actually pretty amazing you see everyone has an inner psychopath inside of them from birth its a human instinct to survive to get the most out of life.

it starts off by explaining to you what a psychopath really is and the common misconceptions of one and how we all are one and then goes on to explain to you how to use it and well make people your own slave by manipulating them in other words. And like the art of war this book gave me a better understanding of myself and the world around me and how I can utilize different aspects of myself to get what I want without anyone else being none the wiser and i'll be honest I've been rather crafty and well ........ used others to my advantage but for good that is to get me to where i need to be and people are still none the wiser ;) not just that but I've always had a silver tong and had a way with words so this book has made me a persuading machine ;)

and so will you be if you see this book on the shelves its been a great help to me with and i will be using the skills I've learnt from this book for the rest of my living days.

I also love the tick box's they have at the end of every chapter to see what kind of person you are depending on the subject chapter it is amazing a great touch to an already amazing book and helped me hone in my skills and learn something new about myself

i think like a psychopath 😇/😈

[Kieran Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book that is both interesting and really helpful. Kevin and Andy break things down into simple terms and make it suitable to the every day person by using every day situations as examples to improve yourself. If you're set in your ways then it probably won't be much help but it definitely gets you thinking about alternative perspectives and who knows, might change you for the better.

[Eric · Rating 1 out of 5]

I decided to delete my previous comment. I was too hash on commenting this book. Even though I don't like it by that time, I may change my mind in a different circumstances or someone else may like it. It takes a lot of efforts to write a book. I shouldn't be to hash on the author. So, I take back what I said before about this book. And to my fellow readers, keep on reading and keep on learning.

[Bernie Gourley · Rating 4 out of 5]

The central premise of this book is that psychopaths have a range of traits that help them succeed. These traits include thick skin, focus, fearlessness, charisma, and coolness under high pressure. The “good” in “good psychopath” is used to describe individuals who have psychopathic characteristics while retaining the ability to play by societal rules—at least to the extent necessary to stay in good stead with the law—as well as to recognize the ramifications of their personalities. If you thought you were going to learn how to get away with a tristate prostitute killing spree, you’re looking into the wrong book. The book does discuss what differentiates good from bad psychopaths, but it’s clearly addressing the former.

Unlike Dr. Dutton’s previous book, “The Wisdom of Psychopaths,” this book is a self-help book rather than pop science. It’s designed to help anyone channel their inner psychopath. If you’re already a psychopath, it may help you think about how you can apply your natural tendencies to getting what you want in life. If you’re not a psychopath, it’ll advise you on how to go about facilitating the growth of characteristics that serve psychopaths. McNab serves as the psychopath in-residence, offering stories and his own experience, while Dutton is the scholar trying to lend a more objective understanding of the subject.

The book’s organization is straight forward, there is a prologue plus three chapters that outline the subject and lay out the key concepts, and then chapters 4 through 10 each address one of the seven essential characteristics of the good psychopath. These include proclivities like non-procrastination, being confident, being oneself, taking criticism with ease, being persuasive, living in the moment, and reducing the influence of emotion in decision-making / behavior. These seven chapters are the heart of the book, and they explain how to think about and advance these personality characteristics.

One strength of the book is the use of stories and jokes to convey ideas in a reader-friendly manner. However, some of these stories are clichéd. On the other hand, a number of them come from the career of McNab, and he—as a former SAS member--had a more fascinating career than most. Also, many of tales and anecdotes come from the interaction of this scholar / warrior duo. The chapters also have quizzes that will help the reader evaluate their level of psychopathy, and the e-version of the book is linked to on-line versions of the quizzes.

I can imagine a range of responses to this book from love to hate. There’s one way to love this book (despite its faults), but two ways to hate it. The most obvious way to dislike it, but probably not the most common way, is substantive. One may object to a range of virtues such as coolness under pressure and living in the moment being labeled psychopathic. However, if this was a problem for the reader, one probably wouldn’t purchase (or, being psychopathic, steal) the book. Reading the blurb would tell one what to expect in that regard.

The more likely reason for hating this book is stylistic. The authors wrote it as though they were speaking to the reader, and we know there are good reasons for one’s written style of communication being different from the spoken word. The first such reason is that spoken language can confuse when one is lacking non-verbal information streams. In this case, there are two authors who haven’t merged into one voice, but instead retain their distinct voices. This means that one may have moments of not knowing who’s speaking. Such confused moments usually don’t last long because the authors work hard to create widely different personas. Dutton is the PhD with an erudite / nerdy bent, but who works to come off as the cool professor whose class one might enjoy taking. McNab is the psychopath, and he’s a soldier to the core. Still, even the occasional half sentence in confusion is distracting.

The second reason for writing differently than speaking is that one doesn’t know to whom one is speaking. Not everybody digs f-bombs and bawdy jokes. Those who do will probably find the style neither distracting nor offensive. Many readers won’t have a problem with the language, but will nonetheless find the authors’ attempts to come off as cool to be distracting or irritating. Working to appear cool wears well on 13 year olds, but seems a little pathetic in grown men talking to an audience of other adults.

I found this book interesting and I’d recommend it for people interested in personal development. However, I can’t say that I didn’t find the style of the book grating on occasion.

[Raoufa Ibrahim · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this .. it's the first book I read that I pick in the bookstore without any previous planning.

First you must understand that Psychopaths are not all bad.. there are good ones, in this book you're going to learn about them and from them, to understand if you are one of them or if you want to be one of them what to do (you'll not be a psychopath if you are not, but you're going to learn their characteristic and maybe you could apply it in your life).

The book discuss The Seven Deadly Wins in each chapter.. it will help you achieve your goals not only at work but in all aspects of life:

1-Just Do It :Psychopaths go for it.

2-Nail it :Psychopaths know how to win.


3-Be Your Own Person : Psychopaths have immune self-belief.


4-Become a persuasion black belt :Psychopaths study people.


5-Take it on the chin :Psychopaths move on.


6- Live in the moment : Psychopaths are focused when it matters.


7- Uncouple behaviour from emotion :Psychopaths aren't ruled by emotion.


You'll find that you have already the 7 wins or most of them, thats good.. or you don't have any of them, then you have to learn them in order to get what you want.

[Hadeel Othman · Rating 1 out of 5]

Could not finish. This reads more like a cheesy sales pitch than anything resembling academic discussions. While the conclusions they come to can be considered technically true, the means in which they are explained and justified are so crudely oversimplified it's hard to believe. They actually spend more time mentioning the meals they had than referencing any legitimate actual psychological experiments. At best this book is at a junior high level, but definitely not if you're looking for an actual informed discussion on the topic.

[Alyson Walton · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not for me! I finished this book but to be honest, it was hardwork. I don't mind a book being hardwork but I like to feel the reward of knowledge and this just didn't do it for me!

[Esrafurkanyigit · Rating 5 out of 5]

İş hayatınızla ve sosyal yaşantınızla ilgili yaşadığınız pek çok soruna çözüm olacak bir kişisel gelişim kitabı. Hemde komik! Öneriler hikayelerle pekiştirilmiş. Bir bakın derim :)

[☘Misericordia☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣ · Rating 4 out of 5]

🌹

[YHC · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learned from this book that Good Psychopath is the one who practices perfectly the mindfulness to a certain level. Living at the precise moment: present, even to enjoy the fragment of second. Enjoy means feel it fully. This training could actually help us in many different kind of problems, enhance different parts of stability.
Emotion does exists in Psychopath, but they are able to switch on and off easily. This is what normal people can not do. But again, the good psychopath we talk about here is not the series murderers kind, but that kind of well trained, calm soldiers.

Overall, mindfulness could actually sort out many things. I think i will practice more.

七大制胜法宝
所有秘诀就都包含在下面列出的七个行动指南里了。做这样的心理 改造不仅是为了获取成功，还为了获得一个更富有、快乐和满足的人 生。优质精神病态者的这七大制胜法宝不仅能帮你达到工作目标，还能 让你在生活的各方面都如愿以偿。
它们可以帮助你：
•得到一份工作 •达成一个交易 •追求到一个对象 •增加薪水 •获得一个机会 ……得到所有你一直努力争取却无法搞定的东西。
它们还能帮你得到内心的平静。因为你越能掌控自己的生活，你就 越能意识到一个奇怪的事实：你从前习惯做的那些事，都是为他人而 做。
你做这些事是为了：
•给老板留个好印象 •讨好同事们（在讨好了老板之后！） •保持家庭和睦 •偿还朋友的人情 •让巴士站遇到的女孩觉得你很酷（你最近开车压过老妇 人吗？）
耶稣基督说过：“你希望别人怎样待你，你也要怎样待别人。”
这是一种值得称颂的想法！
优质精神病宣言不是教你不尊重他人。但你也需要尊重自己，这同
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等重要。所以我们要把那句话修改如下：
“别人会怎样对待他们自己，你也怎样对待你自己。”
下面是需要你付诸行动的几条准则。
在接下来的七个章节里，我们会依次讲解这些准则。
希望你能克服自由的眩晕！
希望你能找到内心那个优质精神病态超人！
1. 尽管去做
精神病态者勇于争取。研究显示，拖延行为消耗宝贵的精力。如果 精神病态者想得到什么东西，他们只管去争取。在回报的驱使下，他们 不会浪费时间多加考虑，而是直接行动！
2. 搞定它
精神病态者懂得如何获胜。他们具备在紧要时刻打开某个“开关”的 能力。一些顶级运动员也拥有这种特质。研究发现，如果对精神病态者 的成功行为给予奖励，而非对其错误行为进行惩罚，他们会进步得快得 多。他们以玩游戏的方式获得胜利！
3. 坚持自我
精神病态者的自信心爆棚。你无法在任何时候都能取悦任何人，所 以精神病态者不明白为什么要与自己作对。我们大多数人害怕直抒观 点，精神病态者却不在意别人怎么想。他们敢于畅所欲言。
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4. 做个黑带级别的超级说服者
精神病态者能够读懂他人。他们都是天才级别的心理解码大师。和 其他食肉动物一样，了解猎物的想法让他们具有独特优势。一个世界顶 级诈骗犯曾经说过：“我可以像读地铁线路图一样读取你的想法。再像 洗牌一样地改变它。”
5. 泰然接受失败
精神病态者总是朝前看。他们专注于自己所擅长的领域并付诸行动 ——避免情感上的拖延。他们不会自乱阵脚，也不会轻易后悔。研究显 示，在模拟的商务场景里，精神病态的谈判者能比其他人赚更多钱，因 为他们更少为失败的交易而感到懊恼。有一句禅宗谚语是这么说 的，“要么放手，要么被拖垮。”
6. 活在当下
精神病态者在关键时刻十分专注。无论你信不信，拥有“活在当 下”的能力是精神病态者和佛教大师之间的共同点。顶级运动员亦是如 此。你参加工作面试的时候请记住迈克尔•约翰逊[28]的这句话：压力只 不过是重要机遇周围的影子而已。
7. 将行为与情感分离
精神病态者不受感情左右。事实上，他们会后退一步，像做手术一 般将感情因素从事件中移除出去。当你在困难的任务面前压力倍增的时 候，问问自己：如果我没有了这种感觉，我会怎么做？如果我不在意别 人的看法，我该怎么做？如果这件事根本就不重要，我又会怎么做？

"大约一年前，我的一个很要好的朋友意外死亡了。我对此难以置 信，内心十分悲痛。过了一周左右，我收到一张卡片。
是安迪写来的。
内容如下：
生活是一项艰难的任务。我们都像是个特种兵，每一天面 临着巨大的压力，必须在敌军后方做出大大小小的快速决定。 大多数事情都不在我们掌控之中。我们只能根据所知的信 息采取行动，被危险、疯狂、痛苦和失望所围绕。那些导弹追 踪器点亮了我们头顶的天空，决定着我们的未来。 无论你是谁，都得尽可能做到最好。当你爱的人们被抓 走、被击毙，或在行动中失踪的时候，你不得不承受痛苦，咬 紧牙关，勇敢面对困难，微微一笑，或放声大笑，然后背起所 有行囊，低着脑袋继续前进。 因为生活没有给我们配备保险搭扣。
我说过他是一个优质疯子吧——果不其然。我将继续与他合作写 书，而且我们已经定下了完稿的时间。"


-----如果你的工作需要你拥有批判性思维与决策制定的能力，那么你该 选择在早晨工作，因为这个时段的效率最高。
正午之前是保持专注力的最佳时间，因为专注力需要意志力，而意 志力和肌肉一样，随着我们在一天之中逐渐疲劳而能力减弱，并慢慢堆 积起过多的心理乳酸.

====如果你的工作需要创造力，由于灵感高峰期通常与困倦高峰期同时 到来，所以对大多数成年人来说，这个时间出现在午后两点。
此时，你的大脑开始疲乏，你的思维不再像一条聚焦的光束，而像 弧形光一样开始发散。你脑中的想法一个一个地冒出来，在事件之间做 出了专注时无法想出的关联来。

---•午夜12点至次日早上7点发送的所有电邮中，只有4%
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被打开。 •财务和医疗这两大问题往往会扰得人们夜不安眠。倘 若要保证最大收件率，请在早晨发送此类邮件。 •早上6—7点之间发送的招聘邮件中有1/3会被阅读—— 总体阅读率仅为16%。为什么？“因为这正是许多老板考虑 后勤问题的时间。”安迪犀利地指出。 •在早上10—11点之间发送的旅馆服务邮件中有近1/4被 打开。原因何在？当人们顺利地开始一天的工作之后，他 们想得最多的就是娱乐休闲。 •中午和下午3点之间，是邮件阅读的间断期——前面提 到过，这也是工作分神的高峰期——但是与环境相关的事务 除外，比如环境保护、能源与科技之类的问题。“难道因为 从事这些行业的人有更强的意志力？”安迪好奇问道。这个 问题值得探讨！ •电子邮件被打开的几率在下午3—5点的时段内有所上 升——尤其与旅游相关的邮件。在下午3点发出的旅游信息 邮件中有41%会被打开阅读——比起总体阅读率，有了显著 提高。 •在晚上7—9点之间，电子邮件的阅读率有小幅度上 涨。需要人们认真阅读的邮件——比如汽车、教育和保险的 邮件——在这个时段内最能获得关注，因为此时已经没有了 工作相关问题的打扰。 •电子邮件打开几率在晚上9点过后大幅下降。然而，休 闲和旅游相关的信息除外——此类邮件中有超过1/3是在晚 上10—11点之间被打开的。 “我猜想，”安迪无可奈何地指出，“这是因为在一天结束的时候， 我们都想逃离现实生活！”

--------从我们史前祖先的那个年代开始，社会就一直渴望着冒险者的出 现。社会需要一个冷酷无情、有魅力和号召力、懂得欺骗且情感强烈的 人的出现。
这样的人符合以下几点：
•不需要被人喜欢 •不需要归属感 •不需要被别人认同 •不害怕挑战现行规矩
记住，成功的秘诀就是像安迪一样拥有这些人格特质，并且懂得将
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这些特质：
•调整到合适的程度 •进行适当的重组 •放置在恰当的情境下
同时能够做到慎重处事与自我约束。
另外，你还得有坚持信念的勇气。无论别人如何评价你，坚持走自 己的路，做自己要做的事。


----这些家伙早已因为“活在当下”的生活态度而臭名 昭著——他们既不懂得后悔，也不在乎后果。但另一方面，比起常受抑 郁症和焦虑症困扰的我们，他们的烦恼明显少很多。
我把这个观点说给马克听，他似乎并不赞同——不过他认为，精神 病态者和拥有正念的人的差异也许在于他们利用当下的方式不同。正念 者教你品尝它，而精神病态者教你吞下它。

---------“每天早上我醒来，都把这一天当作选拔竞赛的第一天。我在前一 天表现糟糕还是出彩，又有什么关系？没有必要为前一天的失意黯然神 伤，也不必为前一天的辉煌沾沾自喜。它们都已经过去了。” “在选拔过程中，‘今天’是我生命里最重要的一天。是唯一我能掌控 的日子——我们都努力成为这个世界的一分子，无论你是好是坏，你都 是你。所以为什么要为明天忧心呢？”

----“专注的秘诀是把每一天看成车轮转动一圈。虽然时间流逝、日复 一日，但你得把每一天都看成是车轮仅有的一次转动。我在书里写过， 这是你获得成功的唯一方法。即便现在，我还是采用三小时思考法，这 要把我太太逼疯了！比如第二天的午餐会上我要做一个报告，前一天晚
上她会问我：‘你想好明天要说什么了吗？’而我常常回答她：‘还没有， 我明天早上再考虑。我得把今天该做的做完，才能开始明天的事。’

----“所以问题的关键在于如何防止你的大脑随时做出各种超前想象。 关于恐惧，或者说我对恐惧的理解，是大多数时候它来得毫无根据（因 为老实说我好像从来没有恐惧过）。���们怎么说来着？人们担心的事情 中有99%不会发生。所以何必瞎担心呢？” “问题是人们花太多时间去担心可能会发生什么，可能哪里要出 错，以至于他们忘记了眼前的事。他们完全忽略了一个事实，那就是， 一切都还好好的。这一点从你的审讯游戏里已经可以清楚看到……所以 为什么不活在当下呢？”

--一位乘客坐在出租车上。他突然往前倾，拍了拍司机的肩 膀，想问他一个问题。不料司机吓了一跳，尖叫起来，车子失 去了控制，突然转向，朝一辆正行驶而来的巴士方向冲去。最 后车子骑上了马路牙子，在离一家店的橱窗只有几英寸的地方 停了下来。一时间大家都说不出话来。之后，那位司机一边颤 抖着一边说：“对不起，老兄——不过你真的把我吓死了。” 乘客感到不可思议。“你太神经质了，”他说，“我只不过 拍了一下你肩膀。” “是的，是的，我知道，”司机说道，“我早该告诉你的， 你看，今天是我第一天开出租。” “好吧……那你之前做什么？” “我是开灵车的。”司机回答……

---其实，当受试者在考虑是否该闷死婴儿解救其他人的时候，研究者 在精神病态者的大脑中发现了正常人脑中没有的惊人的神经活动：当顶 级运动员进入一种自动且不费力的状态，或称作“自动流水”状态时，脑 部也会出现类似的神经活动——它也同样出现在佛教高僧出神冥想的时 候。
我们需要几年的努力才能得到的，精神病态者却天生就拥有了。

---“你知道吗，当我越能够专注在单一的事件上，它就越快被我忘 记。当你将关注力放在你嘴里冰冷的钢铁上时——好吧，这还挺有趣 的！它的味道？真不怎么样——你觉得手枪会是什么味道？” “我估计要比这个鬼东西的味道好一些。”我边说着边把杯子里剩余 的咖啡倒在草地上。
安迪笑了。
“你将注意力放在震耳欲聋的枪击声上，警卫的脸上，廉价的须后 水的味道上，你的呼吸上，还有你仍然活着的事实上！当你只能拥有当 下的时候，你会发现这个感觉太棒了。”

----当下是份礼物
“每个人都明白活在当下非常重要，但问题是怎样做到，”哈佛大学 心理学家埃伦•兰格[18]这样说，“当人们不在当下时，他们还没有达到明 白自己不在当下的地步。” 她说得对——当然除非你和安迪一样，敢和死神面对面抗衡。塞缪 尔•约翰逊是怎么说的？没有什么比得上死亡更能让人专注思考了。
所以我们该怎么做？
如果我们并非面临一个突然而猛烈的生命终结，要如何抑制住分心 的强烈倾向，最终控制自己的思想——而不是为思想所控制呢？
我们要怎样从脑中那奔流不息、震耳欲聋的思想瀑布里冲出去，从 永远流淌着焦虑和悔恨的急流中走出，进入那代表了当下的平静的湖水 中呢？如何才能不被未来的期望所困扰，不被过去的后悔和痛苦所笼 罩？
可以想象，这做起来并不容易。要真正下决心做到——我们在第五 章说过打算做和真正下决心去做的区别——你需要不断练习，投入大量 的精力和意志力。这样你才能得到丰厚的回报。
若你能专注于手头的任务，将目标简化，让思想如特种部队一般训 练有素又紧密团结，那么在这个每分每秒都发生着快速而复杂的变化的 世界里，你将掌握着巨大优势。
记住这一点——或者干脆不要想这么多——你可以从本书里学到一 些小技巧。虽然你也许永远达不到安迪这样的优质精神病态者的程度， 也永远无法像他们一样处理得如此轻巧。
不过……也许你并不想成为他们。

----“总之，是正念帮助他渡过难关的。而且你知道吗？他们让他做的 一个练习就跟你刚刚说的一样。” “他们让他把一颗葡萄干放在手掌上，非常、非常仔细地看着它， 观察它的每一个细节；触摸它，体会它的质感；再把它放进嘴里，感受 它的表面，非常缓慢地咀嚼它，品尝它的滋味，在咽下它之前体会那一 瞬间的感受……整个过程中，他被要求深入体验每一个举动所带来的每 一个细节。这个办法拯救了他。”

---下面是一位神经外科医生告诉我他在手术前会进入的一种精神状 态。他和安迪一样，是一位优质精神病态者：
是的，当你在一场艰难的手术之前做彻底的擦洗时，会有 一股寒意流过你的血管。这是真的。我只能用喝醉酒来形容这 种感觉。只不过，这种酒醉方式让你的感官更加敏锐，而不是 更加迟钝；并且让你的思维更加清晰与精准，而非模糊和涣 散……也许用“超级清醒”来形容更准确。你会有更少的负面情 绪，更多的，我不知道，精神上的…… 而安迪描述了另一种“大脑振奋”的方式。 “对我而言，关注力更敏锐了，时间放缓了，好像一切进入了慢动 作。遇到麻烦的时候，我不会像一些人似的，连脉搏都跳动得更沉重。 我的大脑不会陷入一片混乱，反而感觉面前这个试图杀死我的人好似故 意减慢了速度，让我能够缓过神，弄清眼前的状况。他好像故意给我留 了许多时间，让我可以从皮套里拉下手枪，伸直手臂，再朝他脑袋开一 枪。并不是每一次都有这种体验，不过大多数时候我还是可以轻易做到 的。”
当情况变得棘手的时候，你要控制好整个战场。
安迪和外科医生所描述的大脑体验并非只有禅学大师和精神病态者 才有。我们都有希望获得，而且可以非常轻松地拥有……只要我们给自 己设定一个简单的挑战。无论你面对什么情况，你都可以让自己：发现 新的东西。
在武术修行的高级阶段，他们有一个专门的名词来形容它，叫
作“初心”，或者“初学者心态”。 “在初学者看来，一切都充满了可能性，”知名的参禅大师铃木俊隆 [21]解释道，“而在高手眼里，可能性寥寥无几。” 不仅武术界需要“初心”，其他领域亦是如此。
发现新的东西，可以让你坚定地留步于当下。因为只有当我们自认 为掌握足够知识的时候我们才会忽略眼前的东西，思想开始涣散。
我们在迷迷糊糊的时候审阅合同，因为我们已经做过上千次了。

---把大脑清空，专注于眼前的任务，不受背景声音的干扰，不让脑中 反复浮现出“贬低自我的念头”——包括对自我能力的否定，对差劲表现 的担忧，不断对自己进行比较和评估，以及任何影响原始体验的令人不 快的干扰性想法——这样一来，凡事都显得“澄净”多了，不再对你造成 威胁和恐吓。
这就是我的精神病态者体验结束后半小时内的感受。安迪和我一起 待在实验室里做了这次“精神病态形象大改造”[22]。在一些大脑电磁的魔 法作用下，我仅用了非常短的时间，就得到了“改造”。
很可惜，这种效果会渐渐消失。

----“这也就是为什么说到SAS选拔赛的盘问环节时，我告诉你有一些 选手最后自动放弃了。他们忘记了自己是在参加选拔，忘记了这只是一 项训练，而开始相信这一切都是真实的。” “无论何时你都要坚定地立足于现实。这也是为什么当你真有一天 被捕时，那些审讯者从来不戴手表；为什么他们要把你关在一个密闭空 间里，将你与自然光完全隔离。他们这么做是为了剥夺你的时间观念。 一旦时间够长，现实感就会消失，大脑的重力场功能也会丧失——于是 你漂浮在无知和遗忘的状态中。”
安迪说得非常正确。
错误的结论，不恰当的假设和糊涂的归因（如果你还记得前一章所 说的），都来自于不切实际的想法——你的想法和情绪随意地飘入了认 知的外太空，进入了过去或未来的心理以太层[23]，陷入了一段已经过去 的、或是一段还未到来的时间里。
但如果你能停留在当下——换上“初学者心态”——你会渐渐发现自 己的想法变得更加“牢靠”。

---如果我们可以有准备地迎接各种问题、任务和挑战，并且熟练地将 其一个个克服，我们的大脑激励中心会有规律地获得一些小成就感—— 这和药物一样能让我们感觉良好。
告诉你一个好消息。
我们只要能：
•把一天分为若干个独立的部分、区域或任务 •制定一张每日“待办事项清单” •在日记里记录下每个“小胜利”（就像游戏自动“保存”你的 进度一样）
只要能做到这几点，我们就可以提高自己的工作投入度、热情度和 工作效率。
另外记得，别同时做多项工作！
多任务操作不仅与关注当下的目标背道而驰——在多个台面上开启 无数个任务灯，会迫使大脑在不同任务之间紧张地快速切换——研究同 时表明，这样做实际上会影响工作表现，有时还会导致高达四倍的出错 率！
我们痴迷于多任务操作，是因为我们有一个错觉：我们在开展多项 工作的时候，感觉自己做了许多事，在不同项目上都有了一些进展，在 各个方面获得了令人心动的“叮叮叮”的廉价奖励的铃声。 但你得知道它的负面……一旦你在其中一项任务中遇到困难，你会 忽略它而选择其他更简单的任务，直到你在其他任务上也遇到瓶颈。最 后虽然你努力去完成其中一项，但由于你的精力已经散落在各处，你无
法清空大脑，保持清醒和专注。
-----我们在本书里从不同角度多次谈到过大脑的两个非常重要的部分， 以及它们的起源和功能。一个是杏仁核，这是古老的情感控制中心，根 据原始生存价值，它将世间的体验分为“好”与“坏”两种。而另一个是前 额叶皮层：它可以发出更先进、更老练、也更有魅力的理智之声。
在人类进化的过程中，我们可以发现，自然选择在这两个神经部门 之间搭起了联络线，一个沟通的渠道被打通了。
在这一千年的时间里，语言、意识和社会逐步出现，情感部门开始 与理智思维部门对话，我们大脑里的政治局面发生了变动。原先“专横 地”解决矛盾与制定决策，现在则更加“民主”。
在从前，大多数情况下我们只能用武力解决问题。因为当暴力手段 能满足需求的时候，我们便不会去思考其他办法。但是，随着时间推 移，我们采用的优先手段改变了。经过几百万年的大脑自治，突然之 间，优先性（precedence）被强迫与倾向性（preference）分享权利。 “好与坏”和“更好与更坏”组成了同盟。
这是自然选择的结果，也是一个正确的进化方向。

---“将军们待在一个房间里，而另一个房间里，是的，就是那些股票 经纪人。盖柯们会在在艾森豪威尔[14]们的地盘上把他们打败吗？还是军 事知识和战场经验更胜一筹呢？” “实验的结果让每一个人都目瞪口呆！” “两组人都获得了胜利。但你猜怎么着：是那些股票经纪人，而不 是将军们，在战争结束时保留了更多生还的人员与更多完好无损的战舰 和飞机。” “这是为什么呢？好吧，他们细细研究之后，发现了将军们在决策 方式上和股票经纪人的巨大差别。将军们在‘战斗’，而股票经纪人不 是。” “股票经纪人没有投入过多的个人情感，他们只是在解开各种方程 式。他们读取数据，处理数字，去除无用信息，最后在此基础上快速而 冷静地做出决定。他们决策的背后不掺杂个人情绪。只有冷酷过硬的数 学能力。” “当然另一边的将军们也研究了数据。不过，他们是怀着一颗怜悯 之心来解读这些信息的：他们将个人情绪带进了实验里。他们有丰富的 交战经验，非常清楚任何一个错误决定对于那些战场上的年轻人意味着 什么。是的，战斗总有牺牲。很遗憾，这就是战争的本质。”
“由于将军们和战场上的士兵来自同一个群体，他们从心底里希望 减少损失。他们一直努力将伤亡人数控制到最低。这是令人尊敬而可贵 的举动。但这么做也造成了一个问题。为了减少伤亡，为了努力找到替 代措施，实施更稳妥保险的计划，他们内心不免有些犹豫不决。比起冷 酷无情的计划，反而是这犹豫使他们赔上了更多生命，损失了更多战舰 和飞机。” “这有点像我那次跟你说的英式橄榄球比赛。如果你抢球的时候有 所顾忌，反而更容易受伤。但如果你全身心投入比赛，你更有可能毫发 无损地踢完全场。” “我不是说同情心有什么不好，它当然很有用。但麻烦在于——你 往往在自己最无力给予同情的时候生出怜悯之心。而这种温暖的、干扰 人心绪的情感可能导致更多伤亡。” “如果你的情感一直处于‘开启’状态，它是不会自己关闭的。只有当 你拥有了控制情感的开关按键——这时候你才能真正让它为你服务。”

---但是最近一项研究颠覆了这个结论。它提出——和安迪的说法完全 吻合——精神病态者不是不能产生同情心，而是他们拥有一个“开关”， 可以将其随意启动或关闭……而开关键刚好默认设置在“关闭”状态上。

---一种充满无限可能性的心理力场：他的大脑就好似一个神经系统的 避税港，能够神秘地逃开每日需要缴纳的情感税收。
“我只是在完成任务而已。”良治君对我说，“别误解，我并不是不 在乎。只不过在那个时候我无法在乎。我受过的训练不允许我去计较。 如果我当时想的是：‘他们是我的同胞，是我的兄妹。看看他们都遭遇 了什么……’我也许就完不成任务了。” “是的，大家都很害怕，都在尖叫。大家都很痛苦。但你也只能面 对它，不得不面对。这有点像是把自己内心的控制键关闭了，然后启用 自动驾驶功能。你只能之后再来细想。”
过了一段时间，我采访了一位技术超群的神经外科医生，是他让我 想起了良治君的这番话。这位医生对我说：
我不会同情我的手术病人。这是一种奢侈的情感，我无力 承担。在手术室里，我得到了重生：成为了一台冷酷无情的机 器，和解剖刀、钻子、锯子融为一体。 当你在难度极高的战役中与死神搏斗的时候，情感是不能 帮助你达成目标的，甚至会严重危及工作。所以在过去的几年 里我已经把它猎杀得荡然无存了。
这番话听起来令人震惊，是不是？也许你能接受一个特种兵说出这 样的话，但不能想象它出自一个正要锯开你的头骨检查你大脑的人。
但你不妨再想想！

---“你知道吗？你的感受并不真实。”安迪说道。他不知不觉中说出一 句有哲理的话。“我意思是，它真实存在，但又不真实……如果你知道 我指的是什么。它只是你大脑中不同派系的细胞在四处移动而已。没有 什么实际意义。即使你看电影时少了音效的配合，它还是同一部电影。 声音不能改变电影里的故事。这就是我对情感的看法。”
如果你觉得安迪对于情感和经历（内部世界和外部世界）之间关系 的这番见解听起来很耳熟，你没有搞错。乍看之下，它也是正念意义的 恰当描述——也就是我们在上一章中说过的“活在当下”的思想。
我们大脑里窜动的很多想法其实与现实毫无联系，因为很多时候它 包含了我们自己对事件的感受。
所以记住：它通常“只是你想出来的”。认识了这一点，你才有办法 问自己那个价值1亿美元的问题“如果……我会怎么做？”，然后再毫无 顾忌地去行动。
当我写《为什么疯子比常人更容易成功》这本书的时候，正念大师 马克•威廉姆斯给了我一个关于正念能量的例子，这大概是我听说过的 最好的案例了。他向我说明了如何使用正念让一个人克服对飞行的恐 惧。
“有一个办法，”马克解释道，“那就是把这个人带上飞机，让他坐 在一个飞行迷的身边——你知道的，那些超级热爱飞上天空的人。然 后，你在飞行途中递给他们一对大脑扫描器，看看他们的大脑活动图有 什么不同。其中一个人给出一幅愉快的大脑图，另一个人的大脑图则显 示出焦虑、紧张和恐惧。” “这两张扫描图，”你说，“如实反映了此刻你们大脑内的 活动情况。由于你们��的扫描图差异明显，所以它们都代表不 了什么，对吗？这两张图都无法对飞机的状况做出准确预测。 真相只在发动机里。所以它们有什么意义呢？好吧，它们实际 上代表着……你们手上拿着的东西。一个大脑活动图。仅此而 已。” “你现在感觉到的，”你对那个焦虑的乘客说，“仅仅是一 种感觉。它是一个神经的网络，一场电子的合奏曲，是由你脑 中的念头所引发的。这些想法来来去去，时聚时散，就像云朵 一样。”

----无论在哪儿，你都能听到人们宣传经常锻炼的好处。其实有证据显 示（你可能不会喜欢这个建议），常规锻炼之后若再来一个冻死人的冷 水澡，效果会更好。
锻炼本身能够把我们的身体放置在可控且可调节的物理压力之下， 从而帮助我们抵抗焦虑、压力和抑郁情绪。这就跟流感疫苗能够保护你 的免疫系统免受疾病侵入一样，锻炼可以让大脑抵御那些产生负面情绪 的刺激源。
而经常接触冷水似乎也有同样的作用。
至少对老鼠是有用的！
科学家发现，如果让老鼠经常在冷水中游泳，它们更不容易因 为“习得性无助”而感到不适。不知你是否记得，我们在第三章的案例中 提到过，习得性无助指的是老鼠不能“主动采取行动”和“反抗”的无力 感。
这种在适应力和情感承受力方面的增强效果是否在人类身上也能得 到发挥，仍然备受争议。一些研究者持肯定态度。他们指出，如果一个 人经常经受间歇性压力，并接受有规律的恢复训练（同时感受锻炼结束 时的冷水澡带来的热度变化刺激），他的情感会更坚强，在面临持续压 力时情绪会更加稳定。
在我看来，虽然这个观点只是一种推测，却也许包含了一些重要的 信息。
针对前文的观点，一些进化生物学家指出，早在我们史前祖先生活 的时期，人类的神经生物硬件已经可以支持哺乳动物体内的调温系统的 运作，同时为情绪激发机能的完善奠定了基础。所以美国心理学家理查 德•丁斯特比尔提出，耐冻性与情绪稳定性之间也许存在某种联系。你 在加强前者的同时，也许也能增强后者。
在精确的温度调节系统成为汽车、家庭和办公室的标配之前，我们 很少听说“路怒症”[22]的例子，难道这只是一个巧合吗？也许是。也许不
是。
最近有证据揭示，温控系统的普及与同样呈上升趋势的肥胖症之间 存在联系。
一个在密闭房间里进行的实验显示，只要把室内温度降低5摄氏度 ——从27度降到22度——就能让人在一天内多燃烧239卡路里。 所以如果你知道英国家庭的平均温度从1970年的13度上升到了2000 年的18度，即使你不懂科学也能看出，是室温的升高导致了体重增长率 的明显上升和健康程度的普遍下降……以及不稳定情绪的多发。
经过几百万年的进化和发展，我们已经懂得如何控制温度带来的压 力。如果，根据一些人的建议以及老鼠实验的结果，温度调节和情绪调 节的神经生理机能在历史上的某个时刻已经合二为一了，那么我们极有 可能通过室内温度的微调来提高人类应对压力的能力。
“也许‘放掉多余蒸汽（纾解压力）’这个短语比我想象得还要贴 切！”我对安迪说。我们此时站在寺庙房间的阳台上，目光穿过整个小 镇看着庙宁那闪烁着的金色灯光。
“想要去跑跑步，洗个桑拿，或者来个冰水浴吗？”
他微微一笑，摇摇头，伸着脖子上上下下打量着街道。
“你觉得晚上在这里买到一块培根三明治的可能性有多大？”他问
道。

--

[S.K. Gregory · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some very interesting info

[Alexandra Bulac · Rating 4 out of 5]

Now, this was a pretty good read.
The book is full of valuable information, such as the reasons why we behave the way we do in certain circumstances, and how to adjust our behavior to suit our needs. It basically teaches you how to inherit the qualities of a psychopath, while remaining a good citizen at the same time. And achieving your goals in the meantime.
It presents psychological concepts in an easy-to-understand manner, and it is full of actionable tips. It is also quite catchy, as it is presented as a story and not as a scientific document. The authors are the main characters in the book.
An overall interesting read, that I have found very helpful. It did manage to change my perspective and daily behavior. It is also quite motivational, in case you're into that at the moment.
Do I recommend it? Yes, definitely! It is a chill read, full of interesting stuff and actionable tips.

[Elli3 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Initially I wanted to give 4.5 but thinking about it 4 stars it’s an honest review.
I liked the idea, the concept (not what I expected tho). It had an easy vocabulary and with all the schemes you were flying through the book. Talking about schemes, they were a unique way to teach people and make the understanding better. The 9 tests were also fun and made you want to finish a chapter just to do them.


What threw me off was the narration that was implemented randomly; like we could be discussing about something and then it says “he said while looking at the menu figuring to order either pork either fish”… I mean I think that will make the information harder to understand. I did like the real life examples and yes respect for Kev and Andy but I think some things weren’t necessary at all. Another thing is that the chapters were long and they were providing a lot of information. If you actually want to let all that information sink in you would have to reread a chapter over and over again. You do gain some info, but maybe for some it’s not enough. Maybe some small summaries would have made the situation better.


Other than that, I think its a book that is kind of worth reading. The concept its pretty much about humans that react differently than the others and they are trying to teach you how and give you some advices to be like them. In the end it was alright. 😽🤙

[Victoria Sofroni · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mi-a plăcut comparația între psihopații răi și psihopații buni, ceea ce îi deosebește pe unii de alții.
Sunt exemple și mult storytelling.
Combinație interesantă între psihologie și militărie (dacă pot spune așa).

Oamenii de succes sunt psihopați.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book from start to finish and highly recommend it for anyone interested in how our brains work. The co-authors are Dr Kevin Dutton, a specialist in psychopaths’ brains, and Andy McNab, one of the most highly decorated Army and SAS soldiers of all time in the U.K. The reason this seemingly mismatched duo are working together is that Andy is a psychopath.
The whole premise of the book is that if we can harness some of the positive psychopathic responses, we will be more effective at all we do.
Each chapter presents stories that exemplify a particular trait and the chapters finish with a questionnaire that evaluates where you are currently on that behavioural spectrum.
I had a number of psychological assessments during my career and wasn’t surprised by the findings. I am a naturally cautious person, but what did interest me greatly is why I can respond so differently in different types of stressful situations. The crux seems to be, how emotionally involved I am and the book has definitely given me ideas to play with.
All this may seem obvious, or not, but I have read quite extensively on the general subject of psychology and there was plenty of new information for me.
The book is a lighter hearted look at a serious subject and there is use of some bad language in the text. Please don’t let either of these things put you off though.

[Greg · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was one of the first books I picked up on psychopathy and I'm very glad I did. I bought it from a WHSmiths in Manchester and you should of seen the look on the woman's face when I put it on the counter! I'm sure she was about to push the panic alarm! This book has great humour but also mixes facts and science in a very easy to understand simplistic way. Kevin seems to be an expert at relating with people, his words exude confidence and enthusiasm and you genuinely feel warmer in his presence. The addition of Andy really adds depth to the book and creates a great heroic role in the story which seemed to build some confidence in me and made me feel better about myself. If you want a science book, this isn't for you. However, if you want to read about psychopathy in a lighthearted humorous way, this book is for you.

[Alexander · Rating 2 out of 5]

A very superficial book claiming to be a guide.
I enjoyed it. It has good content - but it's things you'll have to Google and read more later. This book merely MENTIONS you what it talks about and give you a little checklist of tips. It doesn't elaborate and explain in detail. Very little practical examples.

However. The chat between the duo Kevin and Andy is nice to follow. But I'd just wish they didn't name the book GUIDE. It's not a guide. It's a dictionary with commentary.

Surface level help. Basically " tie your shoes by tying the strings into a know"

How... What kind of knot... Where do I start... The difference....

I enjoyed it a little but I wouldn't recommend it for someone wanting or need to learn. This book is a reminder basically for people who already know the content.

[William Cheong]

I learnt a new perspective to look at things.
To observe the circle of influence, what we can do at that situation,
uncouple the behaviour from the emotion, to learn to master emotion and empathy, making it like a switch, that turn it on-off at will.

To take note of the presence. to understand that there is 'default experience' (past), and 'direct experience' (now). learning to focus on the present;

so long I'm moving the things by inches, having small wins, I'm still winning. The optimistic mindset.

Meaningful book, that taught me to rethink my behaviour, and cognitive ability... perhaps time to reformat my thought :D ------- when most of us focus on turning off the NEGATIVE TAP, imagine what we can do to turn on a POSITIVE TAP.

[Jason Caldwell · Rating 1 out of 5]

I finished this in May, and it was atrocious. There was maybe 5% science in this, and the rest was cheesy wannabe buddy cop quips that the authors so desperately wanted everyone to believe was genuinely how they speak. It was bad. The accenting random words in every sentence, the rehashed common sense being claimed as new insight, and outright lies poured into the many cracks of logic were just too much.

It takes a lot for me to dislike any book, and this makes my top three. It was just so bad.

[Lucie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't like self-help books, came across this by accident and read half way through out of some misguided sense of duty. Basically all it tells you is that if you want something, you have to go get it. Who knew. The only difference here is that they wrap it into some popular science facts about psychopathy and how it's very useful for getting ahead because you don't care about anyone else. Again, how novel.

[anula · Rating 5 out of 5]

This books was a great journey! Andy McNab's humor wad priceless! In a few non-fiction books i laugh so hard. This book is the pair of a weak-personality. It teaches you how to become strong as a person, how to say "NO" when you don t want to do what you are told, how to become a tricky person and how to develop the good psychopath in you. Congrats Kevin Dutton and Andy McNab! Nest it is Flipnosis!

[Artem.linco · Rating 5 out of 5]

Positive thinking concepts explained with plain British humor.

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely fascinating! Easily the most interesting book I've read so far this year.

[Melita · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really good and funny. Don't let the title put you off.

[Vegapunk · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book whose 7 deadly wins provide a sound road map for cutting through the morass of life and attaining sucess...all within the spirit of the law!

[Janice Garland · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent self help book!