Losing Control: Finding Freedom By Letting Go

by Mark Smeby

A culture of perfection, even within the church, has led many of us to live lives simply trying to control everything around us. That’s been my story. We’re working harder, doing more, and feeling increasingly worn out and stressed rather than fulfilled and blessed. But what if the life we are searching for is ultimately more about letting things be as they are, releasing our need to control everything and everyone (including ourselves!)?

This book is an invitation to turn from a me-driven life to a faith-fueled life—a faith rooted in surrender and acceptance of life just the way it is, believing that it’s okay to have things be out of our control, all the while holding onto hope that God has awesome things in store. Instead of a life marked by stress, frustration, and cynicism, letting go of my need to always get my way has led to a life marked more by unshakable faith, relentless hope, and unbelievable love.

MORE: This book is about surrendering to life as it is ... all of our out-of-control circumstances, challenging relationships, wavering faith, fluctuating self-image—and finding the awesomeness in it all, rather than being frustrated that things aren’t the way we think they should be. Resting in the mess.This doesn’t come easy for me. I want to fix everything. And everyone. Because, when everything is fixed, then my life will be smooth sailing. I won’t have anything to worry about or manage. And, probably because I’m not absolutely perfect at fixing myself, most days I find it easier to try to fix other people.

This isn’t about giving up on goals and dreams or rolling over and playing dead until the game is over. It’s also not about being weak, letting life bowl us over. It’s actually the opposite. It’s about moving through life with an intentional grace, surrendering to life as it is, accepting people and circumstances as they are, not as we want them to be. And then finding ways to use our passions and energy to insert love and truth into the world, unattached to expectations of how it should all turn out. We do this in order to see more clearly the marvelous in the mystery. To draw closer to other people, not further away. To live from our heart, rather than from our head. To not run from that which is messy or complicated, but to see the beauty in it.

My hope is that this book will help you say farewell to fear, insecurity, ego-driven decision making, self-pity, and regret. After we’ve thrown those ugly bits in the trash, let’s aim for the warm pools of joy and peace, which include greater acceptance of ourselves, others, our circumstances, and maybe even God. We will learn how to live with wide open hands of grace and love. That’s when the magic and beauty of life will truly come alive.

It all starts by letting things be a little out of control.

Genres: Nonfiction

165 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 7, 2020

About the author

BRAND NEW BOOK: Losing Control: Finding Freedom by Letting Go

Mark Smeby has been an in-demand writer in the Christian music and publishing industry for nearly 25 years, honing his craft with a wide range of assignments from in-depth feature stories, co- authoring celebrity tomes, humorous essays, album reviews, book publicity materials, award show scripts, corporate speeches, liner notes, and ad copy—all the while pursuing his own dreams of being a recording artist. In addition, Smeby spent much of the same 25 years going inside a Nashville prison on a weekly basis to lead a “Life Group”—mentoring men through relationship and study, impacting his own views on justice and worthiness. As he began recording music and touring throughout the U.S., Smeby also nabbed co- starring appearances in two episodes of television’s hit series “Nashville,” as well as multiple roles in faith-based films.

Smeby’s creative efforts are focused on the concept of hope, communicated through his books, nine music projects, live events, social media, and his daily radio feature, the “Live Hope Minute.” This inspiring feature is currently heard in 250 markets around the U.S. and Canada and is also available as a hardcover one-year devotional and a free mobile app.

To book me for a live event please shoot me an email

RANDOM FACTS

1) My version of “Mary, Did You Know” (from Christmas) was the MOST downloaded holiday song on amazon.com in 2014, 2015, and 2016.

2) I had a blast being on national television when I co-starred in an episode of ABC TV’s hit series “Nashville,” playing the booker of bands at the hip East Nashville music venue, The 5 Spot. I will appear in the first episode of Season 6 of "Nashville" now on CMT. I'm so proud to have been in "Because of Grácia" - I hope you get to see it. I also played the romantic lead in “1 Message,” an inspirational motion picture about the ravages of breast cancer, serving as a “saintly mentor” to the lead character.

3) I’ve completed nine successful years of my Hope of Christmas Tour, bringing light to the true meaning of the season across the country. This is in addition to various tours throughout the US sharing songs in concert; from New Hampshire to Washington, from Minnesota to Florida.

4) I also appeared in the Christmas-themed “The Perfect Gift” motion picture as the film’s antagonist, Blaine Pollett. The film also featured my compassionate holiday song “Emmanuel (You Are With Me)“— receiving emails of gratitude from people around the world, including South Africa, Portugal, and Egypt, to name a few. The music video for this song has also been seen on UP television network, and captured nearly 50,000 views on YouTube.

5) My signature song (if you will) “Pilgrim Man” received airplay on over 100 radio stations around the country, reaching #3 on the CRW Global AC &

Reviews

[John Hiles · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so good. Gods perfect timing for a message that we need to hear. I recommend this book and bought extra copies for my loved ones. Thank you Mark.

[Hannah Morrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've always had a little bit of an issue with controlling my life to look the way I think it should be in order to be a valuable person who has it all together and has earned love. But what I have learnt is that trying to do this ends up looking like manipulation, dissatisfaction and no energy for the important bits in life. This book has helped me to let go of this and to start knowing myself valuable NOW, not when everything is 'fixed' and as a result enabled me to start actually living my life from a place of hope and faith, and living it now- not when I get to where I think I should be.

I would sincerely recommend this book to anyone wanting to let go of the need for control. The text itself is full of valuable content and the questions at the end of each chapter leads your thinking down the right route for you to make the changes you need to make.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good well written book.

[Mark Smeby · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm so thrilled for people to get to read this book—especially people who have been struggling with their faith. I don't want the pain of my past experiences keep me from seeing the beauty of faith. I've been working on it for a long while, hoping to capture a new way of looking at myself, other people, and God—in a way that has less to do with having things go my way, and more rooted in love and hope.

[Alan Smeby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unique approach to describing Scriptual truth, personal pain and recovery from depression and uneworthingness to focusing on Hope and Love.h personal struggles and recovery from emotional pain and feelings of failures by focusing on God's love

and focusing on Hope. All people, Christian and non-believers, will be shaped to a life of positive change and Hope.

[Candace Wagner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Food for thought for this Control freak

I received this book as a Goodreads giveaway

I'm not a particularly religious person, but I read this book with an open mind and found that many of the concepts could apply whether you use them as part of a faith-based practice or not.

Learning to let go of ideas about how things should be and find joy in the things that are is a very real struggle. I greatly appreciate that the author included many examples from his life and others to help illustrate how you can find hope even when things don't go the way you wished they would.