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So-Called Normal: A Memoir of Family, Depression and Resilience
“Mark Henick is a powerful storyteller.” —Rosie O’Donnell “ So-Called Normal is a call to arms, yes, but it’s also a call to care, highlighting the power of kindness. Required reading for anyone working with children and teens.” — The Globe and Mail A vital and triumphant story of perseverance and recovery by one of Canada’s foremost advocates for mental health When Mark Henick was a teenager in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, he was overwhelmed by depression and anxiety that led to a series of increasingly dangerous suicide attempts. One night, he climbed onto a bridge over an overpass and stood in the wind, clinging to a girder. Someone shouted, “Jump, you coward!” Another man, a stranger in a brown coat, talked to him quietly, calmly and with deep empathy. Just as Henick’s feet touched open air, the man in the brown coat encircled his chest and pulled him to safety. This near-death experience changed Henick’s life forever. So-Called Normal is Henick’s memoir about growing up in a broken home and the events that led to that fateful night on the bridge. It is a vivid and personal account of the mental health challenges he experienced in childhood and his subsequent journey toward healing and recovery.
304 pages, Paperback
First published January 12, 2021
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5318 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews
May 16, 2024
Exceptional. Honest, raw and nuanced.
February 5, 2021
(I wrote this review when I was half asleep, so please cut me some slack.)
I became aware of Mark Henick during my mid-teens. As a young person living in Nova Scotia, who also struggles with mental health issues and thoughts (and attempts) of suicide, his tale of survival and perseverance appeals to me and gives me hope for the future.
So when I found out that he was publishing a book, I knew I had to read it. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on a copy! And, needless to say, I wasn’t disappointed. Mark’s book gives you a detailed description of what it’s like to struggle with your mental health from a young age. He provides you with a much needed trigger warning at the beginning, then doesn’t hold back. There is no shame in his writing. The frank telling and observation of his own life is what makes this true story so compelling.
At one point, Mark writes a quick line about how you shouldn’t meet your heroes. Well, if this book were a meeting, than Mark Henick is the exception to that old adage. Reading this book gave me perspective on my teenage role model. It didn’t change my glowing opinion of the man, but rather how I viewed him. Mark’s writing is deeply human. If you only know him from his TedTalk, then you don’t really know him.
Being able to read and understand the events that led Mark Henick to the infamous bridge moment (and all the events afterwards) has been my privilege. I’m so happy and honoured that he has allowed us this look inside his head. I really cannot recommend this book enough.
I became aware of Mark Henick during my mid-teens. As a young person living in Nova Scotia, who also struggles with mental health issues and thoughts (and attempts) of suicide, his tale of survival and perseverance appeals to me and gives me hope for the future.
So when I found out that he was publishing a book, I knew I had to read it. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on a copy! And, needless to say, I wasn’t disappointed. Mark’s book gives you a detailed description of what it’s like to struggle with your mental health from a young age. He provides you with a much needed trigger warning at the beginning, then doesn’t hold back. There is no shame in his writing. The frank telling and observation of his own life is what makes this true story so compelling.
At one point, Mark writes a quick line about how you shouldn’t meet your heroes. Well, if this book were a meeting, than Mark Henick is the exception to that old adage. Reading this book gave me perspective on my teenage role model. It didn’t change my glowing opinion of the man, but rather how I viewed him. Mark’s writing is deeply human. If you only know him from his TedTalk, then you don’t really know him.
Being able to read and understand the events that led Mark Henick to the infamous bridge moment (and all the events afterwards) has been my privilege. I’m so happy and honoured that he has allowed us this look inside his head. I really cannot recommend this book enough.
January 27, 2021
Very good honest observation of his own life and struggles. Does not preach or advise, yet opens your eyes to some truths.
December 31, 2020
From the pre-publication review I sent to the book's publisher:
So-Called Normal takes the reader on a journey inside the head of a young man who is struggling with debilitating mental illness. We journey with him as he tries to make sense of a normal that simply isn’t working for him -- and we celebrate with him as he begins to imagine a new and better life for himself. The result is a fiercely honest and highly relatable memoir that will stick with you long after you’ve finished reading. Highly recommended for anyone who has ever struggled with mental illness themselves or who has watched someone else they care about struggle in some way. In other words, it’s a book for pretty much all of us.
- Ann Douglas, author, Parenting Through the Storm
So-Called Normal takes the reader on a journey inside the head of a young man who is struggling with debilitating mental illness. We journey with him as he tries to make sense of a normal that simply isn’t working for him -- and we celebrate with him as he begins to imagine a new and better life for himself. The result is a fiercely honest and highly relatable memoir that will stick with you long after you’ve finished reading. Highly recommended for anyone who has ever struggled with mental illness themselves or who has watched someone else they care about struggle in some way. In other words, it’s a book for pretty much all of us.
- Ann Douglas, author, Parenting Through the Storm
January 27, 2021
I am so fortunate to have won the Advanced Reader Copy of Mark Henick's memoir "So-Called Normal".
This book beautifully and devastatingly illustrates the author's struggles with anxiety and depression. He depicts his internal pain with hindsight and clarity by pinpointing the events and triggers that lead to his deteriorating depression and suicide attempts. He demonstrates that the mental health field still needs a lot of improvement, that "be a man" is never good advice, that it's OK to struggle with your emotions (as you're surely not the only one) and that you should never be ashamed to ask for help if you cannot handle it yourself. The best part: he proves that it is possible to overcome your demons.
Everyone should read this book! Everyone should know that words and actions can affect/trigger a person more than they let on. Everyone should learn to be nicer, to be patient and empathetic because you never know what kind of internal battle someone is fighting. Everyone should work towards admonishing the stigma around mental health. No one should be afraid to speak about their feelings or ask for help.
May this book pave the way to better and happier world.
This book beautifully and devastatingly illustrates the author's struggles with anxiety and depression. He depicts his internal pain with hindsight and clarity by pinpointing the events and triggers that lead to his deteriorating depression and suicide attempts. He demonstrates that the mental health field still needs a lot of improvement, that "be a man" is never good advice, that it's OK to struggle with your emotions (as you're surely not the only one) and that you should never be ashamed to ask for help if you cannot handle it yourself. The best part: he proves that it is possible to overcome your demons.
Everyone should read this book! Everyone should know that words and actions can affect/trigger a person more than they let on. Everyone should learn to be nicer, to be patient and empathetic because you never know what kind of internal battle someone is fighting. Everyone should work towards admonishing the stigma around mental health. No one should be afraid to speak about their feelings or ask for help.
May this book pave the way to better and happier world.
June 19, 2023
When I read this book I was captivated. I think it took me several months to finish because I took breaks and read other books to obsorb the topics. It might be a triggering book for some but it does end well and shares an experience of hope and resilience. Bonus points for me because it's Canadian.
July 10, 2024
Really powerful memoir or resilience and hope. The many ways in which the system let Henick down is staggering. The revolving door of emergency psychiatric care is clearly illustrated in his experience. He shares it all without blaming; he just tells it like it is. The professionals he encounters cover a spectrum "between somewhat helpful and traumatically harmful." When he suffers a concussion he "left the hospital feeling cared for, repaired in some way." This is not the case in the basement psych wing in Sydney or the children's psych ward in Halifax many hours away from home. Henick describes the procedures which "sometimes lead to collateral damage, mundane trauma—an unintended consequence of following the rules," as he is treated in psych wards as a self-described frequent flyer.
Henick's journey is, sadly, a common one. What is uncommon is his ability to describe depression, dissociation, the stigma of being wheeled on a gurney in restraints, the silence that surrounds mental illness, and the daily effort that recovery requires. He sometimes struggles to describe emotions saying "putting thoughts to emotions was like tasting colours or smelling sound." I think he does a tremendous job of getting very close.
His activism and resilience is remarkable.
Henick's journey is, sadly, a common one. What is uncommon is his ability to describe depression, dissociation, the stigma of being wheeled on a gurney in restraints, the silence that surrounds mental illness, and the daily effort that recovery requires. He sometimes struggles to describe emotions saying "putting thoughts to emotions was like tasting colours or smelling sound." I think he does a tremendous job of getting very close.
His activism and resilience is remarkable.
March 26, 2021
One of the best memoirs I've read giving insights into the stigmas and struggles of living a life plagued by suicidal ideation, depression, mental illness and the methods and failures of the medical community to assist. Mark grew up in Cape Breton and was the product of a broken home - he lived most of his childhood with his mother's abusive boyfriend and suffered extreme depression. Really great on audio. So glad he was able to get the help he needed and make a new family for himself. He tells his young son: "Life is hard but I kept choosing to do it anyways."
Favorite quote about just how stigmatizing having a mental illness is: "My identity had become exactly what I feared most - I had been categorized and dismissed as a 'crazy person.' I didn't want to be a so-called crazy person. I just wanted to be a person living with a mental illness. I didn't want to be defined by my worst moments, I wanted to define myself. I was starting to realize who I am is a choice and nobody can take that away from me."
Favorite quote about just how stigmatizing having a mental illness is: "My identity had become exactly what I feared most - I had been categorized and dismissed as a 'crazy person.' I didn't want to be a so-called crazy person. I just wanted to be a person living with a mental illness. I didn't want to be defined by my worst moments, I wanted to define myself. I was starting to realize who I am is a choice and nobody can take that away from me."
May 8, 2021
I have been looking forward to reading this book since I found out it was in the works and I have never been happier to have picked up a book. Firstly, to anyone struggling with mental health, to anyone who wants to understand, please read this memoir.
Mark spoke to my college in 2017 and it honestly was the beginning of a huge shift in my life. I'd been silently struggling for almost 10 years, and after hearing about his struggles I made the decision to get help.
This memoir takes you through not only the struggles mental health throws at us but also that there's hope, even if for years you've never been able to find it. It's not a quick fix, it takes years and work, and you might never fully get there, but you try.
Many parts hit close to home while reading and many times I had to stop to catch my breath. It's shocking to see someone else had similar thoughts as you, around the same age as a kid, but it was comforting. We're not alone, any of us, even if that voice begs to differ.
I can't wait to read it again.
Mark spoke to my college in 2017 and it honestly was the beginning of a huge shift in my life. I'd been silently struggling for almost 10 years, and after hearing about his struggles I made the decision to get help.
This memoir takes you through not only the struggles mental health throws at us but also that there's hope, even if for years you've never been able to find it. It's not a quick fix, it takes years and work, and you might never fully get there, but you try.
Many parts hit close to home while reading and many times I had to stop to catch my breath. It's shocking to see someone else had similar thoughts as you, around the same age as a kid, but it was comforting. We're not alone, any of us, even if that voice begs to differ.
I can't wait to read it again.
February 2, 2021
Can't recommend this book enough. So honest, open, and raw.
April 15, 2021
"Nothing changes if nothing changes, but eventually, something changes everything."
Thank you for sharing your story, Mark. A big tearful book. Recommend recommend recommend.
Thank you for sharing your story, Mark. A big tearful book. Recommend recommend recommend.
September 26, 2023
If you ever wondered what goes on inside the head of someone with depression and intrusive suicidal thoughts then this is the book for you. Marc gives a good description of his struggles and his own healing journey that now consists of him telling his story and helping others feel like they aren’t alone.
I personally have never struggled with thoughts of suicide but I have had mild depression and struggle with ADHD. It’s important we talk about our rough times because no one should have to struggle alone.
I personally have never struggled with thoughts of suicide but I have had mild depression and struggle with ADHD. It’s important we talk about our rough times because no one should have to struggle alone.
February 23, 2024
Excellent. Truly digs into the reality of mental health, trauma, surviving suicide and growing through the challenges. Thank you for such vulnerability. Your book gave me a better understanding of what the youth I work with are truly feeling. It also gave me insight into what my daughter was feeling before ending her life in 2019 at the age of 14.
June 14, 2021
Thank you, Mark, for sharing your experiences. Thank you for speaking matter-of-factly while simultaneously keeping it personal and acknowledging that your experience won't be the same as others'.
January 13, 2023
Title:
So-Called Normal: A Memoir of Family, Depression and Resilience
Author: Mark Henick
Genre: Memoir
Rating: 4.25
Pub Date: January 12, 2021
Thanks to HarperCollins Canada for sending me a DRC of this book in exchange for an honest review. #gifted
T H R E E • W O R D S
Unflinching • Essential • Insightful
📖 S Y N O P S I S
So-Called Normal is Mark Henick's story of growing up overwhelmed by depression and anxiety that led to a series of increasingly dangerous suicide attempts. It details his time in a broken home and the events that led to a fateful night that would change his life forever. It is a vivid and personal account of the mental health challenges he experienced in childhood and his subsequent journey toward healing and recovery.
💭 T H O U G H T S
As someone who has dealt with mental health challenges my entire adult-life, I was eager to pick up Mark Henick's memoir of his own personal journey of living in a toxic environment, dealing with depression and suicidal ideation, and making it through.
Mark offers a gift of hope by exposing the depth of his pain. It offers insight into the stigmas and struggles he faced navigating the world around him. So-Called Normal is raw. It explores the nature of the disease. Mark does not preach or advise, yet he opens eyes to a path of healing and/or recovery. This book is a reminder that we are surrounded by people who struggle each and every day but 'who keep on keeping on'. It's a triumphant story of perseverance that I'd recommend to everyone in order to learn more about mental illness.
Please proceed with caution if you are picking up So-Called Normal. The content can be extremely difficult to read and may be trigger to some. And if it gets to be too much, set it aside and take care of yourself.
📚 R E C O M M E N D • T O
• anyone struggling with mental illness
• anyone caring for or trying to understand mental illness more
• health professionals
⚠️ CW: mental illness, depression, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, self-harm, alcohol, drug misuse, bullying, harassment, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, chemical and mechanical restraint, domestic violence
🔖 F A V O U R I T E • Q U O T E S
"Life is hard but I kept choosing to do it anyways."
"I just wanted to be a person living with a mental illness. I didn't want to be defined by my worst moments, I wanted to define myself."
Author: Mark Henick
Genre: Memoir
Rating: 4.25
Pub Date: January 12, 2021
Thanks to HarperCollins Canada for sending me a DRC of this book in exchange for an honest review. #gifted
T H R E E • W O R D S
Unflinching • Essential • Insightful
📖 S Y N O P S I S
So-Called Normal is Mark Henick's story of growing up overwhelmed by depression and anxiety that led to a series of increasingly dangerous suicide attempts. It details his time in a broken home and the events that led to a fateful night that would change his life forever. It is a vivid and personal account of the mental health challenges he experienced in childhood and his subsequent journey toward healing and recovery.
💭 T H O U G H T S
As someone who has dealt with mental health challenges my entire adult-life, I was eager to pick up Mark Henick's memoir of his own personal journey of living in a toxic environment, dealing with depression and suicidal ideation, and making it through.
Mark offers a gift of hope by exposing the depth of his pain. It offers insight into the stigmas and struggles he faced navigating the world around him. So-Called Normal is raw. It explores the nature of the disease. Mark does not preach or advise, yet he opens eyes to a path of healing and/or recovery. This book is a reminder that we are surrounded by people who struggle each and every day but 'who keep on keeping on'. It's a triumphant story of perseverance that I'd recommend to everyone in order to learn more about mental illness.
Please proceed with caution if you are picking up So-Called Normal. The content can be extremely difficult to read and may be trigger to some. And if it gets to be too much, set it aside and take care of yourself.
📚 R E C O M M E N D • T O
• anyone struggling with mental illness
• anyone caring for or trying to understand mental illness more
• health professionals
⚠️ CW: mental illness, depression, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, self-harm, alcohol, drug misuse, bullying, harassment, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, chemical and mechanical restraint, domestic violence
🔖 F A V O U R I T E • Q U O T E S
"Life is hard but I kept choosing to do it anyways."
"I just wanted to be a person living with a mental illness. I didn't want to be defined by my worst moments, I wanted to define myself."
February 10, 2021
This book is an amazingly beautiful swan song. 100% a must read!!
May 28, 2024
I'm so glad the author found a way out of his darkness. This book is very frank and very honest about what life is like with mental illness and how poorly the mental health care system is set up. I went through the mental health care system with my daughter and there simply are not enough professionals or treatment centers to provide adequate care. Also, there is so much more research and understanding that needs to be done to help patients - especially younger patients! It also amazes me how people flock to help when there are physical ailments but no one is there to help when there are mental/psychological ailments. The author noted this too in his book.
January 27, 2021
A fantastic, honest read. Mark's Cape Breton roots shine through in relatable ways that will remind readers from Cape Breton of the nuanced nostalgia that is home. Mark's story is truly his own, but he writes in a way that is accessible to those with lived experiences of various kinds, from mental health challenges, to difficult family relationships, to the insular culture of rural island life. A page turner, for sure.
January 23, 2021
I've been excited for this memoir since it was announced, and it definitely didn't disappoint. Henick has a flair for storytelling, and his story captured me emotionally from the start. From beginning to end, he does a masterful job of retelling his personal narrative in a way that brings it to life and hits hard. His honesty and vulnerability were palpable, and there were many points that brought me to tears. His is an incredible story, offering a first-hand look at mental illness, family, the healthcare system, recovery, and hope.
February 23, 2021
I am always so impressed by the courage that people show when sharing their personal stories with the world. I am further impressed and in awe because they allow themselves to become vulnerable to hopefully help others facing similar struggles. I was easily drawn into this story and was fascinated how the journey went for Mark, it was both heartbreaking and hopeful. It is a must read for those that love powerful memoirs that truly capture what resilience looks like while examining complex family relationship and the power of depression and so much more!
May 21, 2023
Believe it or not, this book wrapped me in the warmest hug. I thought to myself “This is the worst possible Christmas season read”. I was so very wrong. I had my reasons for wanting to read this book-beyond the subject matter, the Ted Talk-which I had heard of, but have still not seen-I wanted to experience the book first-the fact that Mark grew up in Cape Breton, but I never imagined that I would be left with so much hope and love for my family, friends and acquaintances.
On top of this, Mark has such a gift for transporting you to his story-I wasn’t reading about his life in Cape Breton-I was living it alongside him. I hope he writes more-fiction, non-fiction-it will not matter. He has a gift-this book is just one of so many he has given us. This was not a book about wanting to die-it is a book about how to live.
On top of this, Mark has such a gift for transporting you to his story-I wasn’t reading about his life in Cape Breton-I was living it alongside him. I hope he writes more-fiction, non-fiction-it will not matter. He has a gift-this book is just one of so many he has given us. This was not a book about wanting to die-it is a book about how to live.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 10, 2021
This is an unforgettable book that will stay with me for a long time. While I have never experienced clinical depression, it runs through my family, affecting some very close relatives. For the first time, reading about the inner turmoil, the suicidal ideation from the point of view of the sufferer, it opened my eyes immensely. The courage Mark shows in writing this book is admirable, as it gives us something tangible to hold on to after his successful speaking career.
And yet, it also illustrates how capricious Fate can be. What if it weren’t Mike Ritchey driving across that bridge? What if it had been a truck full of yobs like the ones who were eagerly urging him to jump? It’s a sobering thought.
And yet, it also illustrates how capricious Fate can be. What if it weren’t Mike Ritchey driving across that bridge? What if it had been a truck full of yobs like the ones who were eagerly urging him to jump? It’s a sobering thought.
February 27, 2021
This book is very eye opening to the struggles people face when dealing with anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation. It is sad how some in the helping profession labeled your pain as attention seeking! I think this book should be read in high schools so students know the weight their words can have on fellow students.
Wonderful book, Thanks Mark for sharing your story! I hope it helps those struggling realize with help and resilience you can overcome your pain.
Wonderful book, Thanks Mark for sharing your story! I hope it helps those struggling realize with help and resilience you can overcome your pain.
October 19, 2021
Borrowed from the Allegany County Library System this honest memoir of a young man who now encourages others facing mental health issues of depression, anxiety, suicide, and recovery attempts. I'm sharing this title with friends and family who face those same demons daily and although this world is a beautiful - it is also a hard world to live in and the more knowledge and self-care tools we can arm ourselves with - the better.
https://www.facebook.com/markhenick/v...
https://www.facebook.com/markhenick/v...
March 7, 2021
Beautifully written ,I hope this story opens dialogue for people with mental illness.Great job Mark,looking forward to your next one.
April 23, 2021
Such a good read. I could not put the book down. Highly recommend.
May 26, 2021
Really brave to write about your own struggles with mental illness. Want to see his TED talk.
July 17, 2021
Very sad, but hopeful story. I'm glad it was written because I found it helpful to connect with similar emotions and struggles and I know many others will too.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews