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Take My Hand
In this heartfelt, brave and honest account, Kerry Fisher and Pat Sowa share everything they’ve learnt from surviving the darkest of times. They shine a light on what it really feels like when your world shatters and how they found hope in the deepest despair.
Best friends since they met at university, Kerry and Pat had no idea that thirty years later, they’d need every ounce of their friendship to survive. In 2017, their worlds came crashing down when their teenage sons were both diagnosed with life-threatening illnesses within weeks of each other.
During the following rollercoaster months, Kerry and Pat regularly snatched time to message each other – often with black humour – providing a momentary refuge from their frightening realities. Together these two ordinary mums found a way to survive their extraordinary challenges and to navigate a new normal in an alien and isolating world. With raw honesty, they share the things they’ve learnt and what they wish they’d known – from how to tame raging mother guilt to restoring their natural optimism in the aftershock of tragedy.
In this profoundly moving book, Kerry and Pat take readers on a very personal exploration of the universal experiences of grief and loss, love and friendship that connect us all. Like a wise companion offering comfort, Take My Hand is a lifeline both to those overwhelmed by heartbreak and for friends and family who don’t know how to help. Most of all, it’s a powerful reminder that no matter how difficult life gets, you are not alone.
Best friends since they met at university, Kerry and Pat had no idea that thirty years later, they’d need every ounce of their friendship to survive. In 2017, their worlds came crashing down when their teenage sons were both diagnosed with life-threatening illnesses within weeks of each other.
During the following rollercoaster months, Kerry and Pat regularly snatched time to message each other – often with black humour – providing a momentary refuge from their frightening realities. Together these two ordinary mums found a way to survive their extraordinary challenges and to navigate a new normal in an alien and isolating world. With raw honesty, they share the things they’ve learnt and what they wish they’d known – from how to tame raging mother guilt to restoring their natural optimism in the aftershock of tragedy.
In this profoundly moving book, Kerry and Pat take readers on a very personal exploration of the universal experiences of grief and loss, love and friendship that connect us all. Like a wise companion offering comfort, Take My Hand is a lifeline both to those overwhelmed by heartbreak and for friends and family who don’t know how to help. Most of all, it’s a powerful reminder that no matter how difficult life gets, you are not alone.
- GenresNonfiction
248 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 28, 2020
285 people are currently reading
488 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 61 reviews
April 27, 2020
This was definitely never going to be an easy book to read but being a mother of a teenage son, I felt compelled to read it and I’m so glad I did.
Kerry and Pat’s stories are a reminder at how we take life for granted and how quickly that can change. Reading of both their journey’s when both sons are affected with two totally different illnesses around the same time was both heartbreaking and emotional, yet inspirational all at the same time.
I applaud the authors for bringing these two very different illnesses together and showing what a huge impact they have on not just the person that’s ill, but their loved ones also. We all know what it is like to be a teenager and being a parent, what it is like to live with them. I really felt for these two women as like most teenagers, their sons are fierce in their independence and wanting to be an adult yet they are still our babies. To see your child going through so much, it literally tore me apart.
Admittedly, I did spend most of my time crying my way through the book. The brutal account of both women with what they were going through and how it made them feel. It was also an eye opener as an outsider. Reading of their experiences of how friends or acquaintances would act around them or keep their distance and how some friendships have changed due to what has gone on. If anything it has made me more aware of ways I can help and wording things in a better way.
Both authors also include tips as well as advice for anyone going through similar to they have. I thought this was a wonderful idea as at the end of the day, until you are going through it, none of us know quite what to expect and am sure anyone that is currently going through it, will especially find it helpfully.
Take My Hand is an emotional story that offers hope. I take my hat off to both these inspirational ladies and thank them for sharing their experiences with us all. It can’t have been easy and I hope that they found it therapeutic in some way. With Pat and Dom’s story, I especially hope it raises awareness in helping people recognise mental health for the truly horrible disease it is.
My thanks to NetGalley and Thread Books for an advanced readers copy of this book. All opinions are my own and not biased in anyway.
Kerry and Pat’s stories are a reminder at how we take life for granted and how quickly that can change. Reading of both their journey’s when both sons are affected with two totally different illnesses around the same time was both heartbreaking and emotional, yet inspirational all at the same time.
I applaud the authors for bringing these two very different illnesses together and showing what a huge impact they have on not just the person that’s ill, but their loved ones also. We all know what it is like to be a teenager and being a parent, what it is like to live with them. I really felt for these two women as like most teenagers, their sons are fierce in their independence and wanting to be an adult yet they are still our babies. To see your child going through so much, it literally tore me apart.
Admittedly, I did spend most of my time crying my way through the book. The brutal account of both women with what they were going through and how it made them feel. It was also an eye opener as an outsider. Reading of their experiences of how friends or acquaintances would act around them or keep their distance and how some friendships have changed due to what has gone on. If anything it has made me more aware of ways I can help and wording things in a better way.
Both authors also include tips as well as advice for anyone going through similar to they have. I thought this was a wonderful idea as at the end of the day, until you are going through it, none of us know quite what to expect and am sure anyone that is currently going through it, will especially find it helpfully.
Take My Hand is an emotional story that offers hope. I take my hat off to both these inspirational ladies and thank them for sharing their experiences with us all. It can’t have been easy and I hope that they found it therapeutic in some way. With Pat and Dom’s story, I especially hope it raises awareness in helping people recognise mental health for the truly horrible disease it is.
My thanks to NetGalley and Thread Books for an advanced readers copy of this book. All opinions are my own and not biased in anyway.
January 15, 2022
3.5 stars
This memoir is about a time in two best friends lives when each of their teenage sons face life changing challenges. The two friends don’t live in the same city so they share their text and email communications throughout their ordeal.
While their struggles are different because one is a physical/medical life threatening issue and the other is a mental health life ending issue, but they are both emotionally trying for their respective families, shaking the certainty of what is typical.
The stories are well written candid accounts of their fears and frustrations, their anger and angst, and their friendship grounds them as they search for a way to the “other side” of the challenge of the tragedy before them. Also interesting is the manner in which they each deal with their outcomes and moving forward from there, trying to reach a place not of simply acceptance but of understanding and positive reflection.
The writing is straightforward and open, with all of their emotions laid bare. Kerry Fisher is a well known fiction writer. Pat Sowa has since become an advocate for mental health awareness.
Although it is not appropriately described as an “enjoyable” read it is worthwhile. Having said that it will not be everyone’s “cup of tea”.
This memoir is about a time in two best friends lives when each of their teenage sons face life changing challenges. The two friends don’t live in the same city so they share their text and email communications throughout their ordeal.
While their struggles are different because one is a physical/medical life threatening issue and the other is a mental health life ending issue, but they are both emotionally trying for their respective families, shaking the certainty of what is typical.
The stories are well written candid accounts of their fears and frustrations, their anger and angst, and their friendship grounds them as they search for a way to the “other side” of the challenge of the tragedy before them. Also interesting is the manner in which they each deal with their outcomes and moving forward from there, trying to reach a place not of simply acceptance but of understanding and positive reflection.
The writing is straightforward and open, with all of their emotions laid bare. Kerry Fisher is a well known fiction writer. Pat Sowa has since become an advocate for mental health awareness.
Although it is not appropriately described as an “enjoyable” read it is worthwhile. Having said that it will not be everyone’s “cup of tea”.
June 7, 2020
It is difficult to put into words how generous and brave this book is. That two mothers of seriously ill teenage boys would voluntarily relive the pain of those illnesses, in all their complicated and traumatic reality, is a quiet act of heroism. The juxtaposition of mental and physical disease does much to highlight the difference in the treatment of and attitude towards both, and to underline that both are equally deadly for the victims, and frightening for them and their parents and siblings alike. Take My Hand offers two authentic and important voices to add to the call for greater understanding of mental illness. It speaks eloquently about how any form of serious illness a young adult child affects the families who go through it. The memoir form is a constant reminder that this is real, this happened, and whilst there is no gratuitous dramatisation of events, the book is structured to flip between the two women, which allows the reader to engage with and absorb what is happening, and to follow these real life stories told with such dignity and compassion, humour and humanity. This is a kind, kind book. This is a book that, despite being painful and personal to the authors, is always thinking about the reader and what the reader might be going through, what comfort and advice that reader might be seeking in its pages, and when that reader might need a dash of dark humour. As well as two unflinching and frank accounts, there are tips on coping strategies, on letting yourself feel what you are feeling, allowing yourself to fail sometimes; there is great acknowledgment of that voracious beast, maternal guilt, and how it can eat you alive if you forget to be kind to yourself; there is humour, there is hope, there are some face-palm what not to say moments which made me cringe and smile. This is a memoir, yes, but it also a self-help book completely devoid of preachy instruction or bumper sticker positivity. It is also a book for anyone who has a friend or family member going through something like this. It is hard to know what to say, how to help, how to 'be there' and this book has tips on that too. My love and thanks go to Kerry and Pat for sharing their stories so that other might feel understood, supported and comforted.
April 30, 2020
It's every parents worst nightmares. Considering the stories, I'm not sure if 'loved it' sounds right, but I did. I loved the beautiful words they used when talking about their loved ones. I loved the friendship Kerry and Pat share. The support they had towards each other was so lovely. And I loved the amount of strength and courage they both have. Putting on such a brave face for others while their worlds were crumbling around them. They are both so incredible strong.
Pats story was particularly hard for me but her strength reminded me of my own family and shows there is hope beyond such unimaginable pain.
The tips and advice they provide throughout the book are a fantastic and very thoughtful touch. You can read advice on the internet, or in the therapy books, but I find the best advice comes from personal experience.
The book is so beautifully written and I have so much respect for them both for sharing their stories. It must have been so hard for them to bring up the past in such detail but they have both done it beautifully.
Pats story was particularly hard for me but her strength reminded me of my own family and shows there is hope beyond such unimaginable pain.
The tips and advice they provide throughout the book are a fantastic and very thoughtful touch. You can read advice on the internet, or in the therapy books, but I find the best advice comes from personal experience.
The book is so beautifully written and I have so much respect for them both for sharing their stories. It must have been so hard for them to bring up the past in such detail but they have both done it beautifully.
May 5, 2020
This hit me right in the feels. Just when you think your babies are almost raised things change at the flick of a switch. Two very different mothers coping with different circumstances. At times the book felt a bit too personal, like you're intruding on someone else's life, but hopefully this helps to normalise things to anyone else suffering like Kerry and Pat have. Recommended with a box of Kleenex.
May 1, 2020
Right.....now I have finished ugly crying and can see straight again, let me tell you that this is a beautiful, painful and wonderful book. I can't even begin to understand what these two incredible women went through, but their very candid and honest accounts go some way to help. For me this book is an expression of love, friendship and strength. Highly recommended but please ensure you have a box of tissues available!!!
June 9, 2024
I could relate to so many emotions in this brave book. Definitely feels less lonely in the world when another human/mother shares her story, and despite the stories being so different, there are so many parallels.
March 9, 2021
Here's a short message to anyone who might be reading this: I don't care who you are. I don't care about your age, gender, ethnicity, marital status, religious beliefs, employment status or anything else that may be used to define you. If you're human, and literate, this book is a must-read.
It tells in parallel the true stories of two best friends, both of whom are mothers to teenage boys of about the same age, who are devastated by serious illnesses in the space of a few weeks. But the illnesses are so similar in some ways and so starkly different in others. One of the boys is diagnosed with cancer, and whilst his treatment process is long and grim - months of chemotherapy with the associated hair loss, sickness and everything else that goes with it - he is at least given everything that the stretched, undervalued and yet still wonderful health service in the UK can give him. The other has a mental illness, for which the same level of understanding and support, never mind treatment, just isn't there.
I hope it's not giving away too much of a spoiler to say that the endings for the two boys are starkly different too. One manages to battle through his condition and still get the grades he needs to start his preferred university course. The other ... well, at the first sign I thought "oh no. Please, no." And frantically read on, hoping against hope that the worst hadn't happened. But it had. And the realisation left me feeling as numb as if I had been physically winded.
The writing is simple, honest, heartfelt and sometimes raw. It's impossible not to feel, and to absolutely understand every single one of the emotions that both women go through, and describe so beautifully and so powerfully. Grief for what they should never have had to lose. Self-reproach for having failed to notice signs that they didn't know how to recognise. Anguish as they try to find a balance that simply can't be found between wanting to protect their children and at the same time allow them to live a life of some normality. Guilt at not having been able to give their other children the level of attention that they perhaps deserved.
I'm not making this sound like an easy read, and that's because it isn't. But there is just the right amount of dark humour, and practical advice to make it bearable. Both women share some of the things that helped them get through their darkest of days, and some of the things to say and not to say if it's your friend, your parent or - God forbid - your child who is struck by similar circumstances. And throughout the book are copies of messages that they have sent to each other, and in which the shared love and support is there to be clearly seen. If the narrative of the book leaves you feeling heartbroken, this goes a long way to healing it again.
My message then, to both authors is simply this: thank you. Both of you. You're amazing. You're wonderful. You're incredible.
I'd also just like to pick up on a point that both authors, in their own ways, make about half way through the book, and that's feeling that some friends that they had known for years, even decades, had "vanished". Perhaps because they didn't know what to say or how to respond. If that's the case, I get it. But if you are one of those friends, please, please read this book, use the authors' notes to find something to say, then get back in touch with them and say it. Because you really do need a friend like one of these two people in your life.
It tells in parallel the true stories of two best friends, both of whom are mothers to teenage boys of about the same age, who are devastated by serious illnesses in the space of a few weeks. But the illnesses are so similar in some ways and so starkly different in others. One of the boys is diagnosed with cancer, and whilst his treatment process is long and grim - months of chemotherapy with the associated hair loss, sickness and everything else that goes with it - he is at least given everything that the stretched, undervalued and yet still wonderful health service in the UK can give him. The other has a mental illness, for which the same level of understanding and support, never mind treatment, just isn't there.
I hope it's not giving away too much of a spoiler to say that the endings for the two boys are starkly different too. One manages to battle through his condition and still get the grades he needs to start his preferred university course. The other ... well, at the first sign I thought "oh no. Please, no." And frantically read on, hoping against hope that the worst hadn't happened. But it had. And the realisation left me feeling as numb as if I had been physically winded.
The writing is simple, honest, heartfelt and sometimes raw. It's impossible not to feel, and to absolutely understand every single one of the emotions that both women go through, and describe so beautifully and so powerfully. Grief for what they should never have had to lose. Self-reproach for having failed to notice signs that they didn't know how to recognise. Anguish as they try to find a balance that simply can't be found between wanting to protect their children and at the same time allow them to live a life of some normality. Guilt at not having been able to give their other children the level of attention that they perhaps deserved.
I'm not making this sound like an easy read, and that's because it isn't. But there is just the right amount of dark humour, and practical advice to make it bearable. Both women share some of the things that helped them get through their darkest of days, and some of the things to say and not to say if it's your friend, your parent or - God forbid - your child who is struck by similar circumstances. And throughout the book are copies of messages that they have sent to each other, and in which the shared love and support is there to be clearly seen. If the narrative of the book leaves you feeling heartbroken, this goes a long way to healing it again.
My message then, to both authors is simply this: thank you. Both of you. You're amazing. You're wonderful. You're incredible.
I'd also just like to pick up on a point that both authors, in their own ways, make about half way through the book, and that's feeling that some friends that they had known for years, even decades, had "vanished". Perhaps because they didn't know what to say or how to respond. If that's the case, I get it. But if you are one of those friends, please, please read this book, use the authors' notes to find something to say, then get back in touch with them and say it. Because you really do need a friend like one of these two people in your life.
January 16, 2021
I knew this wasn't going to be an easy read but I'm pleased I read it. Two best friends, Kerry and Pat, face mental and physical illnesses with their teenage sons', Cam and Dom. This is such an honest, raw and moving account of both of their journeys. They both shine a light on what they went through and the impact it had on them and their family and friends. This memoir/self help guide was full of generosity and kindness from the authors, offering readers both practical and emotional advice to navigate their own way on a similar journey
Thank you both for writing this book, it is a gift
"Row your boat towards them if their can't find their oars"
Thank you both for writing this book, it is a gift
"Row your boat towards them if their can't find their oars"
November 28, 2021
Whilst my children are not yet teenagers (and as far as I am aware are not terminally ill), I found this book amazing. Parenting challenges are constantly thrown at us in different guises and we have to respond, mostly when we have no idea how to. Reading this made me want to hug my son tightly and never let him go....
May 27, 2020
Reading this at a time when the world is going a little bit crazy has really helped me put into perspective what is important in life. The things that I am currently dealing with are staying in, staying safe and spending more quality time than I have in a while with my two beautiful children. I cannot imagine for one second having to deal with the loss of either of them.
There are some books that I read that touch me far deeper than others and I know I will be thinking about this book in months, even years to come. The lymphoma aspect also really hit home, on a personal level, my own dad was diagnosed with this 15 years ago and I have seen first hand the devastation that this disease causes. I cannot imagine watching a child go through this. The courage and bravery that was shown both in the way the illness was treated and how he still was able in a small way to be allowed to be a teenager is truly inspirational.
Despite the story being truly heartbreaking, it was written in such a way that even though the loss and grief was soul destroying there was also a much needed sense of humour, a need to fight and a friendship that I can see has only grown stronger. The extracts of text messages between the friends that are shared in the dialogue really struck a chord. The dark humor, the brutal honesty and the knowledge that even when you are the very bottom someone has your back and is there for you even at 3am in the morning is a rare thing to find.
Kerry and Pat met at university through the years they have gone their separate ways but despite living miles apart the friendship had never weakened. They had no idea that they would need each other more than they could have dreamed. Both of their teenage sons became ill around the same age and at about the same time. It was their friendship that shone through and made this such a hard story to read. To know that when times are darker then they have ever been that there is someone there for you without any strings is so important.
Both of the stories take different paths and I don’t want to give any spoilers but how either of these inspirational ladies found the strength to get through this and come out the other side is quite awe inspiring.
When I put myself forward to read and review this book I knew I was letting myself in for an emotional read but I wasn’t quite prepared for the anger that this also brought out in me. The children had totally different illnesses yet I expected that whatever the illness a parent would be allowed to be as involved in the child's care in the same way. How wrong was I? I was angered that a parent with cancer can be very much involved in decisions and yet mental health issues it is quite the reverse. How can a parent with a child that has cancer be so involved with their care and yet a child with a mental illness is treated effectively as an adult? The parent has to have permission from the child as to what they can actually know. This to me is so wrong on all levels and I hope and pray that in time things change and the sooner the better.
This was a hard book to read however more than finding it all doom and gloom I also found it very uplifting. To see how the grief was and is still being dealt with, To see how the friendship has deepened and grown stronger. I am sure that neither of these ladies will ever get over the tragedies they have gone through but I hope that they can move forward in their lives. I for one am very grateful that they shared their story and it is one that I will always remember.
Many thanks to Thread Book for my ARC. This in no way impacts my review which is 100% my honest and unbiased reading experience
There are some books that I read that touch me far deeper than others and I know I will be thinking about this book in months, even years to come. The lymphoma aspect also really hit home, on a personal level, my own dad was diagnosed with this 15 years ago and I have seen first hand the devastation that this disease causes. I cannot imagine watching a child go through this. The courage and bravery that was shown both in the way the illness was treated and how he still was able in a small way to be allowed to be a teenager is truly inspirational.
Despite the story being truly heartbreaking, it was written in such a way that even though the loss and grief was soul destroying there was also a much needed sense of humour, a need to fight and a friendship that I can see has only grown stronger. The extracts of text messages between the friends that are shared in the dialogue really struck a chord. The dark humor, the brutal honesty and the knowledge that even when you are the very bottom someone has your back and is there for you even at 3am in the morning is a rare thing to find.
Kerry and Pat met at university through the years they have gone their separate ways but despite living miles apart the friendship had never weakened. They had no idea that they would need each other more than they could have dreamed. Both of their teenage sons became ill around the same age and at about the same time. It was their friendship that shone through and made this such a hard story to read. To know that when times are darker then they have ever been that there is someone there for you without any strings is so important.
Both of the stories take different paths and I don’t want to give any spoilers but how either of these inspirational ladies found the strength to get through this and come out the other side is quite awe inspiring.
When I put myself forward to read and review this book I knew I was letting myself in for an emotional read but I wasn’t quite prepared for the anger that this also brought out in me. The children had totally different illnesses yet I expected that whatever the illness a parent would be allowed to be as involved in the child's care in the same way. How wrong was I? I was angered that a parent with cancer can be very much involved in decisions and yet mental health issues it is quite the reverse. How can a parent with a child that has cancer be so involved with their care and yet a child with a mental illness is treated effectively as an adult? The parent has to have permission from the child as to what they can actually know. This to me is so wrong on all levels and I hope and pray that in time things change and the sooner the better.
This was a hard book to read however more than finding it all doom and gloom I also found it very uplifting. To see how the grief was and is still being dealt with, To see how the friendship has deepened and grown stronger. I am sure that neither of these ladies will ever get over the tragedies they have gone through but I hope that they can move forward in their lives. I for one am very grateful that they shared their story and it is one that I will always remember.
Many thanks to Thread Book for my ARC. This in no way impacts my review which is 100% my honest and unbiased reading experience
May 30, 2020
I was wary about reading this book because I knew it would mean being reminded about when my own child was very depressed, and I wasn't sure I wanted to face up to all that. However, I'm very glad I did.
Take My Hand is a beautifully written and emotional in the way that only true stories written from the heart can be. I'm not a crier, but I had tears in my eyes from 3% of the way in and I'm afraid they never really went away. This is a nail-bitting, terribly sad read but written with such humanity, hope and self-awareness that it is never boring or bleak. So many things Pat wrote resonated with me, and I have huge respect for her for saying them out loud - it really helps to feel less alone - and I hope her words reach a lot of people especially parents of children with mental health issues.
Kerry's story - written with her characteristic skill and verve - is also an illuminating insight into the world of childhood cancer - and again is choc-full of human-ness(?) and compassion. The two stories are held together by the friendship between the women and the similarities and differences in treatments...and outcomes.
I got a great picture of these two lovely boys, Dom and Cam, and how much both were loved. If I can deal with life as well and as authentically as Kerry and Pat, I will be proud of myself. Brace yourself to read 'Take My Hand' - it's a hard read but it's worth it.
Take My Hand is a beautifully written and emotional in the way that only true stories written from the heart can be. I'm not a crier, but I had tears in my eyes from 3% of the way in and I'm afraid they never really went away. This is a nail-bitting, terribly sad read but written with such humanity, hope and self-awareness that it is never boring or bleak. So many things Pat wrote resonated with me, and I have huge respect for her for saying them out loud - it really helps to feel less alone - and I hope her words reach a lot of people especially parents of children with mental health issues.
Kerry's story - written with her characteristic skill and verve - is also an illuminating insight into the world of childhood cancer - and again is choc-full of human-ness(?) and compassion. The two stories are held together by the friendship between the women and the similarities and differences in treatments...and outcomes.
I got a great picture of these two lovely boys, Dom and Cam, and how much both were loved. If I can deal with life as well and as authentically as Kerry and Pat, I will be proud of myself. Brace yourself to read 'Take My Hand' - it's a hard read but it's worth it.
October 8, 2021
This book simultaneously broke my heart and stitched it back together again. It is truly one of the most powerful reads I've ever encountered, filled with pain, anger, despair and … hope. And humour. Gallows humour, when you're faced with the unimaginable yet need to claw your way back to some small semblance of normality.
Kerry and Pat's stories are different but connected. Each struggling to cope with their sons' illnesses, a savage bolt from the blue when they expected plain sailing beyond the teenage years. No – correction – they expected all the usual angst associated with the transition to adulthood.
I took so many notes but will refrain from sharing too many here. Better to read for yourself and witness the raw emotions pulsating from the pages. Here are just a few that resonated with me:
It's almost unbelievable that I was blithely fretting about when to nudge Dom into completing his UCAS form so he could apply for university. I wonder if I'm the only one who completely missed the massive tyre-bursting pothole in their child's life plan?
'Time's a great healer.' It might be but the jury is definitely out and right now I don't have time. I need to know how to survive today.
It might well be that the NHS considers anyone over sixteen an adult but this shit is big and for someone who can't legally drink in a pub yet, it seems quite a lot to be navigating when your mother still buys your underpants.
There are useful links to organisations, websites and charities set up to help support those going through similar appalling circumstances as well as book recommendations. I fully intend to share some of these with people I know who might benefit from them.
I cannot recommend Take My Hand strongly enough. If you, or someone close to you, is going through the darkest of times, I believe it will help. Beautifully written straight from the heart, it will stay with me forever.
Kerry and Pat's stories are different but connected. Each struggling to cope with their sons' illnesses, a savage bolt from the blue when they expected plain sailing beyond the teenage years. No – correction – they expected all the usual angst associated with the transition to adulthood.
I took so many notes but will refrain from sharing too many here. Better to read for yourself and witness the raw emotions pulsating from the pages. Here are just a few that resonated with me:
It's almost unbelievable that I was blithely fretting about when to nudge Dom into completing his UCAS form so he could apply for university. I wonder if I'm the only one who completely missed the massive tyre-bursting pothole in their child's life plan?
'Time's a great healer.' It might be but the jury is definitely out and right now I don't have time. I need to know how to survive today.
It might well be that the NHS considers anyone over sixteen an adult but this shit is big and for someone who can't legally drink in a pub yet, it seems quite a lot to be navigating when your mother still buys your underpants.
There are useful links to organisations, websites and charities set up to help support those going through similar appalling circumstances as well as book recommendations. I fully intend to share some of these with people I know who might benefit from them.
I cannot recommend Take My Hand strongly enough. If you, or someone close to you, is going through the darkest of times, I believe it will help. Beautifully written straight from the heart, it will stay with me forever.
February 13, 2021
This book by two British mothers who each has a teenage son grappling with life-threatening illness is a labor of love with messages from the heart. There is a spiritual truth teaching that a person who has suffered can be a source of healing for others similarly suffering. This Wounded Healer concept is very much at work in this book. The two mothers are longtime friends who decided to share their intimate experiences with mental illness and cancer as a way to process their journey and share what they have learned with others enduring difficult medical trials.
One woman is an author, the other a teacher; in both families there is a sibling involved which has it's own repercussions as the parents focus on the family's seriously ill teenager. Both women write honestly of their struggles in life changing circumstances as each day they struggle to put one foot in front of the other. They express deep gratitude to their network of friends who walked the path with them, doing all they could to share the load. Both husbands also provided Invaluable support. The women convincently convey the intensity of their range of changing emotions such as fear and anger.
The authors provide numerous suggestion for coping strategies and discuss in detail things they wish they had known. As such, the book would be a valuable reference for those immersed in comparable situations. The book would also be helpful for deepening the understanding of friends and family called to be part of a support system. This is a very honest, human account of how dramatically hope and dreams can be shattered, of the beauty of the responses of those who reached out to take the hands of two mothers, and how those mothers want to offer a helpful hand to those who walk after them.
One woman is an author, the other a teacher; in both families there is a sibling involved which has it's own repercussions as the parents focus on the family's seriously ill teenager. Both women write honestly of their struggles in life changing circumstances as each day they struggle to put one foot in front of the other. They express deep gratitude to their network of friends who walked the path with them, doing all they could to share the load. Both husbands also provided Invaluable support. The women convincently convey the intensity of their range of changing emotions such as fear and anger.
The authors provide numerous suggestion for coping strategies and discuss in detail things they wish they had known. As such, the book would be a valuable reference for those immersed in comparable situations. The book would also be helpful for deepening the understanding of friends and family called to be part of a support system. This is a very honest, human account of how dramatically hope and dreams can be shattered, of the beauty of the responses of those who reached out to take the hands of two mothers, and how those mothers want to offer a helpful hand to those who walk after them.
August 17, 2023
First of all I would like to say I love the cover. It reflects the content perfectly warning you you are about to open a book with stories that will touch your heart.
Life threatening illnesses... You always think it's far from my bed and thank God it does not happen to me or affect me. But then it does...
This book is Kerry and Pat, two friends, moms with teenage sons, both boys being diagnosed with grave illnesses. They share their stories on how they, as well as their families, tried to cope with the fear, the devastation, the helplessness and all other emotions this entailed.
They share with the readers what helped them, what frustrated them and what was not helpful at all, tips that can be useful for other people dealing with the same situation. Of course it's personal, because what works for one person does not necessarily work for someone else as well.
Both boy's parents are strong people, supporting each other, but sometimes needing space too because not everybody deals with their feelings in the same way.The often bury their own grieve and sorrows in order to not burden the children with them.
I think it's very brave to tell their experiences to the world. I hope it helped them too, being able to put their thoughts on paper.
I know it all happened a few years ago and I do hope they are all alright now.
It's a very, very emotional story and I have to admit that I was not sure whether I would continue reading it, but I am glad I did. 4 stars
Thank you
Life threatening illnesses... You always think it's far from my bed and thank God it does not happen to me or affect me. But then it does...
This book is Kerry and Pat, two friends, moms with teenage sons, both boys being diagnosed with grave illnesses. They share their stories on how they, as well as their families, tried to cope with the fear, the devastation, the helplessness and all other emotions this entailed.
They share with the readers what helped them, what frustrated them and what was not helpful at all, tips that can be useful for other people dealing with the same situation. Of course it's personal, because what works for one person does not necessarily work for someone else as well.
Both boy's parents are strong people, supporting each other, but sometimes needing space too because not everybody deals with their feelings in the same way.The often bury their own grieve and sorrows in order to not burden the children with them.
I think it's very brave to tell their experiences to the world. I hope it helped them too, being able to put their thoughts on paper.
I know it all happened a few years ago and I do hope they are all alright now.
It's a very, very emotional story and I have to admit that I was not sure whether I would continue reading it, but I am glad I did. 4 stars
Thank you
May 29, 2020
First, I want to thank Kerry Fisher, Pat Sowa, Bookouture, and NetGalley for providing me this book so I may bring you this review.
Kerry Fisher and Pat Sowa are two incredibly strong mothers who open up and share their story not only of their son’s battle of cancer in Take My Hand. They give you an inside look how not only did this affect their sons but as a family as a whole. This is a very powerful must read book.
Warning: You will need tissues handy while reading this book! Yes, I admit I teared up at many points.
Kerry Fisher would like to dedicate this book to her little warrior family, and everyone else battling away in the eye of a sudden storm. May these be our worst days.
Pat Sowa would like to dedicate this book to Jan, Greg and Dom. I love you to Pluto and back a googolplex times.
Take My Hand focuses on very important topics such as mental health and suicide. There is a whole reference section in this book that is educational.
Kerry and Pat were so blessed to have the tight knit bond with each other through all of this. They really leaned on each other when things got tough through emails back and forth.
It goes without saying this book is near and dear to everyone’s heart that was a part Even Kerry’s and Pat’s husbands contributed and wrote something in this book.
Kerry Fisher and Pat Sowa are two incredibly strong mothers who open up and share their story not only of their son’s battle of cancer in Take My Hand. They give you an inside look how not only did this affect their sons but as a family as a whole. This is a very powerful must read book.
Warning: You will need tissues handy while reading this book! Yes, I admit I teared up at many points.
Kerry Fisher would like to dedicate this book to her little warrior family, and everyone else battling away in the eye of a sudden storm. May these be our worst days.
Pat Sowa would like to dedicate this book to Jan, Greg and Dom. I love you to Pluto and back a googolplex times.
Take My Hand focuses on very important topics such as mental health and suicide. There is a whole reference section in this book that is educational.
Kerry and Pat were so blessed to have the tight knit bond with each other through all of this. They really leaned on each other when things got tough through emails back and forth.
It goes without saying this book is near and dear to everyone’s heart that was a part Even Kerry’s and Pat’s husbands contributed and wrote something in this book.
March 31, 2023
This very personal memoir follows the paths of two long-term friends and mothers who find themselves facing - within months of one another - the truths of their teenage sons' illnesses, Kerry dealing with her son's rare cancer and Pat grappling with her son's serious challenges as his mental health takes a devastating turn.
Their stories weave seamlessly in and out of one another's as they draw on their close bond with one another for strength, as well as other beacons and the unexpected kindnesses that come their way. It was a brave act indeed for Kerry and Pat to commit these words to paper and to shine a light on what it feels like to be a mother and to try to keep existing when your world is upended in this way. This book is also an amazing toolkit for those who are experiencing the sickness of a child or, indeed, any loved one; something which, sooner or later, we will all deal with. With helpful resources, side notes and honest reflections, I will definitely be recommending this difficult but necessary read to many people.
'Now go and hug your children,' writes Kerry at the end of the book, 'especially those tricky teenagers, and tell them you love them.'
As a mother of three teens, never has this advice been more apt. Thank you Kerry and Pat for your courage in writing 'Take my Hand'.
Their stories weave seamlessly in and out of one another's as they draw on their close bond with one another for strength, as well as other beacons and the unexpected kindnesses that come their way. It was a brave act indeed for Kerry and Pat to commit these words to paper and to shine a light on what it feels like to be a mother and to try to keep existing when your world is upended in this way. This book is also an amazing toolkit for those who are experiencing the sickness of a child or, indeed, any loved one; something which, sooner or later, we will all deal with. With helpful resources, side notes and honest reflections, I will definitely be recommending this difficult but necessary read to many people.
'Now go and hug your children,' writes Kerry at the end of the book, 'especially those tricky teenagers, and tell them you love them.'
As a mother of three teens, never has this advice been more apt. Thank you Kerry and Pat for your courage in writing 'Take my Hand'.
May 8, 2020
What really stayed with me throughout my reading of this book was the raw honesty in the writing. Such personal feelings of anger, guilt, helplessness and sorrow were laid bare and it takes a great deal of courage to do that.
To see a child in pain is very difficult and to not be able to help that child overcome the pain has to be the worst nightmare for a parent.
That's exactly the situation Kerry and Pat faced when their teenage sons were diagnosed with life threatening illnesses just weeks apart.
Trying to deal with the sudden upheaval in their lives, they had to struggle with looking at what they could do versus wallowing in grief at the cards dealt to them.
Having been friends for a long time, and faced with almost identical situations, the two friends rallied around each other and helped each other cope while battling their own sorrows.
It's a heartbreaking read because it is all true. It is a very, very personal record of what they went through.
It is a reminder of how precious life is and how everything can change in the blink of an eye.
Most importantly, it is a testament to the fact that life must and does go on and it becomes even more important to value it.
To see a child in pain is very difficult and to not be able to help that child overcome the pain has to be the worst nightmare for a parent.
That's exactly the situation Kerry and Pat faced when their teenage sons were diagnosed with life threatening illnesses just weeks apart.
Trying to deal with the sudden upheaval in their lives, they had to struggle with looking at what they could do versus wallowing in grief at the cards dealt to them.
Having been friends for a long time, and faced with almost identical situations, the two friends rallied around each other and helped each other cope while battling their own sorrows.
It's a heartbreaking read because it is all true. It is a very, very personal record of what they went through.
It is a reminder of how precious life is and how everything can change in the blink of an eye.
Most importantly, it is a testament to the fact that life must and does go on and it becomes even more important to value it.
May 14, 2020
5 stars! This was a tough, but thought provoking book to read. I had to step away from it a few times as it was incredibly heartbreaking and made me want to give my two young sons a massive cuddle. Kerry Fisher is one of my favourite authors and I always look forward to her new releases. I was therefore sad to hear of her and Pats experiences. I’m not sure what I was expecting from this book- I knew it wouldn’t be particularly cheerful- but I was left with such admiration for these two wonderful mothers. I honestly couldn’t imagine going through even a fraction of what they did, yet Kerry and Pat give the reader hope. They survived their grief and are no doubt still navigating their new “normal” and I think they are an inspiration to anyone else who is currently suffering with their own grief or troubled times. The love for their children and the strong friendship of two lovely mums shines through in this story. The authors are incredibly brave to tell their story and I hope by doing this it helped in the healing process.
Thanks kindly to Netgalley, Pat and Kerry and publisher for the opportunity to read and review this book. I highly recommend.
Thanks kindly to Netgalley, Pat and Kerry and publisher for the opportunity to read and review this book. I highly recommend.
May 27, 2020
Take My Hand’ is a truly wonderful book. It is the true story of best friends Kerry Fisher and Pat Sowa who in 2017 experience the most horrendous of experiences when their sons are both diagnosed with life-threatening illnesses.
Due to the topic of the book, It could have been a morbid and distressing read. However, whilst it is, of course, very heartbreaking at times, it is thoroughly inspiring, a testament to the strength of the two woman and their friendship and really informative.
I loved how Pat and Kerry called themselves ‘3am friends’ to mean that they knew that they genuinely could phone each other at 3am and that the other would be there for them. That is the meaning of true friendship.
It is such a hard topic to cover, the most difficult thing that any mother will have to deal with, but this book deals with it so well. Highly recommended.
Thanks to NetGalley for a Kindle copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Due to the topic of the book, It could have been a morbid and distressing read. However, whilst it is, of course, very heartbreaking at times, it is thoroughly inspiring, a testament to the strength of the two woman and their friendship and really informative.
I loved how Pat and Kerry called themselves ‘3am friends’ to mean that they knew that they genuinely could phone each other at 3am and that the other would be there for them. That is the meaning of true friendship.
It is such a hard topic to cover, the most difficult thing that any mother will have to deal with, but this book deals with it so well. Highly recommended.
Thanks to NetGalley for a Kindle copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
June 27, 2020
This is one of those books when you don’t want to read what happens next because of the fear that it will be too painful to read but the authors experiences draw you in and you cling to the hope that the next chapter will bring a positive conclusion.
. Two mothers who have been friends since university days share their experiences of the incredibly painful situation both find themselves in when their teenage sons become seriously ill. Seeing your children suffer must be unbearable whatever their age so it must have been incredibly difficult for them both to share their feelings so openly and honestly in the way they did.
This book Is so beautifully written and so personal that it made me reflect on my own life and the people I love. It is a stark reminder that life is so precious that we need to be thankful for every day we have together.
Thank you Kerry and Pat for sharing your personal experiences by writing this book as reading it really has had a significant impact on me.
. Two mothers who have been friends since university days share their experiences of the incredibly painful situation both find themselves in when their teenage sons become seriously ill. Seeing your children suffer must be unbearable whatever their age so it must have been incredibly difficult for them both to share their feelings so openly and honestly in the way they did.
This book Is so beautifully written and so personal that it made me reflect on my own life and the people I love. It is a stark reminder that life is so precious that we need to be thankful for every day we have together.
Thank you Kerry and Pat for sharing your personal experiences by writing this book as reading it really has had a significant impact on me.
January 8, 2022
Such an emotional heartfelt read and both stories are every parents nightmare. Speaking as a mother we try and fix everything but sometimes we just can’t and then the guilt kicks in. As well as writing about the life changing events both Kerry and Pat relayed their emotions - grief, anger, depression, friendship and the kindness of strangers.
One line that Pat wrote that stuck with me - “It probably won’t be the easiest read but it is intended to be optimistic and I hope that it is useful. If it starts one conversation, or saves one life, then it will be worth it”. What a kind, caring and considerate lady you are Pat. And Kerry hoping their experiences will never touch us or ours. From experience when life changing health matters come into our life we have to learn to live a different life than what we had planned - it becomes fight or flight.
Wishing you both peace and happiness for the future and thank you for such a soul bearing book
One line that Pat wrote that stuck with me - “It probably won’t be the easiest read but it is intended to be optimistic and I hope that it is useful. If it starts one conversation, or saves one life, then it will be worth it”. What a kind, caring and considerate lady you are Pat. And Kerry hoping their experiences will never touch us or ours. From experience when life changing health matters come into our life we have to learn to live a different life than what we had planned - it becomes fight or flight.
Wishing you both peace and happiness for the future and thank you for such a soul bearing book
June 7, 2020
Heart-wrenching and brave. Vital reading for parents of tween-teens.
I’ve read everything Kerry Fisher has written. She’s my go-to author for well-written ‘chick-lit’ when I feel the need for something not-too-cerebral and quality fun. When I heard about this book I ordered in advance because I knew it would be good, and exploring writers I like who are writing in new genres is usually rewarding.
What a story. Extremely honestly written, bold and emotive. It also gave me a boost as a parent who, like most I’m sure, feels they often get it awfully wrong, whatever I do. In our world of ‘perfect’ social media-presented lives it is amazing to hear strong women admit that ‘perfect’ doesn’t exist.
‘Hold My Hand’ gave me courage, too, to push for help for my own tween who, while appearing bubbly and happy much of the time struggles with extreme social anxiety and suffers from deep despair and sleeplessness in the dark hours.
The contrast between cancer care and mental health care is stark and shocking. Kerry and Pat don’t make a lot of it during the course of the story but it comes up a few times, especially at the end of the book. Normalising mental health concerns and mental healthcare is vital.
Thank you for this book. A highly recommended read.
I’ve read everything Kerry Fisher has written. She’s my go-to author for well-written ‘chick-lit’ when I feel the need for something not-too-cerebral and quality fun. When I heard about this book I ordered in advance because I knew it would be good, and exploring writers I like who are writing in new genres is usually rewarding.
What a story. Extremely honestly written, bold and emotive. It also gave me a boost as a parent who, like most I’m sure, feels they often get it awfully wrong, whatever I do. In our world of ‘perfect’ social media-presented lives it is amazing to hear strong women admit that ‘perfect’ doesn’t exist.
‘Hold My Hand’ gave me courage, too, to push for help for my own tween who, while appearing bubbly and happy much of the time struggles with extreme social anxiety and suffers from deep despair and sleeplessness in the dark hours.
The contrast between cancer care and mental health care is stark and shocking. Kerry and Pat don’t make a lot of it during the course of the story but it comes up a few times, especially at the end of the book. Normalising mental health concerns and mental healthcare is vital.
Thank you for this book. A highly recommended read.
April 27, 2020
Wow what a raw, intimate portrayal of how two mums cope with the illnesses of their teenage sons! This is a truthful, honest down to earth read of the emotions, dread, hope, fear that they felt, although the sons cam and Dom were suffering from very different illnesses and with different outcomes! Patti and Kerri could call upon each other at anytime day or night if needed for a rant, cry, advice,laughter etc etc which showed the depth of long-standing female relationships that these mums shared and how it helped them during a time that as a parent you don’t even want to imagine! Not the easiest of reads due to the subject matter but told in such a true honest way that it draws you in.
Thank you net galley for this early read.
Thank you net galley for this early read.
April 28, 2020
A story written by best friends Kerry and Pat both heartbreakingly going through terrible traumas with their beloved teenage boys. One with mental health and one with physical health issues. Both stories as tragic as each-others. I chose to read this book based on my love of Kerry Fisher's novels. Through this is a true story and certainly a heartbreaking one it still features Kerry's wonderful humour through the darkest of times. Pat's story is so heart wrenching as her beautiful boy struggles and how she comes out with so much strength. An uplifting read at times and really educational in how to help families going through these dark times. A beautiful read.
May 3, 2020
Wow! Not sure where to start or even if what I write can do justice to this book.
This is a heartfelt and honest account of 2 mothers sharing their darkest times.. in 2017 their worlds were turned upside down by events nobody could have predicted. Facing these trials within weeks of each other, they were able to offer each other support whenever they could.
I read this book through tears at times and am in awe of the strength these 2 women have to A) be able to share their worries and pain and B) offer support to others who may be going through something similar.
Thanks go to Netgalley for the opportunity to read and review
This is a heartfelt and honest account of 2 mothers sharing their darkest times.. in 2017 their worlds were turned upside down by events nobody could have predicted. Facing these trials within weeks of each other, they were able to offer each other support whenever they could.
I read this book through tears at times and am in awe of the strength these 2 women have to A) be able to share their worries and pain and B) offer support to others who may be going through something similar.
Thanks go to Netgalley for the opportunity to read and review
June 4, 2020
A sad but educational read about two close female friends with teenage sons who experience trauma at the same time in their lives. One mother losses a son to suicide and the other a harrowing journey as her son battles cancer. Both women are honest in recounting their struggles and grief. . They provide helpful tips and guidance to readers who may be experiencing the same situations. This book is cathartic for their own healing but more importantly they want others to avoid some of the hardships and obstacles they had to deal with. Both women advocate for changes in health care especially for those dealing with mental health and cancer. A book filled with raw emotions .
August 5, 2020
This is one of those books that you never want to relate to or have to read. It is a book about life, death and the journeys in between. The two women who co -wrote the book, Take My Hand, Kerry Fisher and Pat Sowa are both highly accomplished women.
It is when both their 17 year old sons became seriously ill and their journeys dealing with life and death decisions take over their lives and their families lives, that the storylines of the book may resonate with some readers.
It is not an easy book to read but it is a brave book to give some hope for other parents who find themselves in these situations and feel alone.
Highly recommended.
It is when both their 17 year old sons became seriously ill and their journeys dealing with life and death decisions take over their lives and their families lives, that the storylines of the book may resonate with some readers.
It is not an easy book to read but it is a brave book to give some hope for other parents who find themselves in these situations and feel alone.
Highly recommended.
January 18, 2022
This is such a difficult book to read but knowing it is the true account of two mothers makes it heartbreaking and sad but also so important in talking about really difficult things. It deals with teenage cancer and suicide - the experience and the aftermath and talks about the support they gave each other and what was helpful from others. If someone you know is grieving or dealing with serious illness, it gives important insight on how to help. Its also about raising awareness we need to talk about hard things. Its a really well written book - its so honest and raw but hopeful and inspiring too.
June 2, 2020
Beautiful and heartbreaking
This is a special book , often harrowing and hard to read, but equally hard to put down. Two friends face different crises in their lives at the same time, and both fear they will lose their teenage boys. Kerry's son Cam is diagnosed with a rare form of cancer just as Pat's son Dom struggles with mental illness and attempts suicide. The two mothers write about their traumatic experiences with so much compassion and honesty and this is such a brave book, and one which will help so many others.
This is a special book , often harrowing and hard to read, but equally hard to put down. Two friends face different crises in their lives at the same time, and both fear they will lose their teenage boys. Kerry's son Cam is diagnosed with a rare form of cancer just as Pat's son Dom struggles with mental illness and attempts suicide. The two mothers write about their traumatic experiences with so much compassion and honesty and this is such a brave book, and one which will help so many others.
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