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A Beginner's Guide to America: For the Immigrant and the Curious
A stirring, witty, and poignant glimpse into the bewildering American immigrant experience from someone who has lived it. Also, a mirror held up to America.
Into the maelstrom of unprecedented contemporary debates about immigrants in the United States, this perfectly timed book gives us a portrait of what the new immigrant experience in America is really like.
Written as a guide for the newly arrived, and providing practical information and advice, Roya Hakakian, an immigrant herself, reveals what those who settle here love about the country, what they miss about their homes, the cruelty of some Americans, and the unceasing generosity of others. She captures the texture of life in a new place in all its complexity, laying bare both its beauty and its darkness as she discusses race, sex, love, death, consumerism, and what it is like to be from a country that is in America's crosshairs.
Her tenderly perceptive and surprisingly humorous account invites us to see ourselves as we appear to others, making it possible for us to rediscover our many American gifts through the perspective of the outsider. In shattering myths and embracing painful contradictions that are unique to this place, A Beginner's Guide to America is Hakakian's candid love letter to America.
Into the maelstrom of unprecedented contemporary debates about immigrants in the United States, this perfectly timed book gives us a portrait of what the new immigrant experience in America is really like.
Written as a guide for the newly arrived, and providing practical information and advice, Roya Hakakian, an immigrant herself, reveals what those who settle here love about the country, what they miss about their homes, the cruelty of some Americans, and the unceasing generosity of others. She captures the texture of life in a new place in all its complexity, laying bare both its beauty and its darkness as she discusses race, sex, love, death, consumerism, and what it is like to be from a country that is in America's crosshairs.
Her tenderly perceptive and surprisingly humorous account invites us to see ourselves as we appear to others, making it possible for us to rediscover our many American gifts through the perspective of the outsider. In shattering myths and embracing painful contradictions that are unique to this place, A Beginner's Guide to America is Hakakian's candid love letter to America.
222 pages, Hardcover
Published March 16, 2021
92 people are currently reading
1698 people want to read
About the author
Roya Hakakian
7 books52 followersRoya Hakakian (Persian: رویا حکاکیان) (born 1966 in Iran) is an Iranian-American poet, journalist and writer living in the United States. A lauded Persian poet turned television producer with programs like 60 Minutes, Roya became well known for her memoir, Journey from the Land of No in 2004 and essays on Iranian issues in the New York Times, The Washington Post, the Wall Street Journal and on NPR. Awarded a Guggenheim Fellowship in 2008, Roya published Assassins of the Turquoise Palace in 2011, a non-fiction account of the Mykonos restaurant assassinations of Iranian opposition leaders in Berlin.
Roya was a founding member of the Iran Human Rights Documentation Center, and serves on the board of Refugees International. Harry Kreisler's Political Awakenings: Conversations with History, highlighted Roya among '20 of the most important activists, academics, and journalists of our generation.'
Roya was a founding member of the Iran Human Rights Documentation Center, and serves on the board of Refugees International. Harry Kreisler's Political Awakenings: Conversations with History, highlighted Roya among '20 of the most important activists, academics, and journalists of our generation.'
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 90 reviews
April 5, 2021
Though it took a few pages to get into the second person guide-book style of this non-fiction narrative, it was well worth the adjustment. The book begins with witty, heartfelt advice on the joys of immigrating to America. It made me proud to be from the USA, and also felt surreal given that I've spent almost 9 years living abroad. Then, slowly, the book moved darker, becoming tongue-and-cheek, with slight sarcasm, as it addressed racism, ceilings, and hypocrisy. In the end, it was harsh and critical, pointing out the obvious flaws in our nation build on freedom and the struggle of the immigrant. This balance was necessary and perfect, and it ends with a beautiful call to action. The author did an incredible amount of research through reading and interviews. The reformatting of this into the guide-book style was particularly genius. I was amazed at how she was able to generalize and specify the plights of many different immigrants without relying on stereotypes. I recommend this book to immigrants and native-born US citizens alike. It will help us laugh together, roll our eyes together, understand better, and do more.
P.S. I switched between the Kindle version and the audiobook and the audiobook is EXCELLENT (read by the author). The only drawback is, I kept having to pause to highlight things (the quotes at the beginning of each chapter are particularly amazing). But it's worth it for the emphatic narrative.
P.S. I switched between the Kindle version and the audiobook and the audiobook is EXCELLENT (read by the author). The only drawback is, I kept having to pause to highlight things (the quotes at the beginning of each chapter are particularly amazing). But it's worth it for the emphatic narrative.
July 8, 2022
Americans will selflessly give generous amounts of time and money to an endless variety of causes, but they will calculate their share of the dinner check down to the last cent. Also, the country that serves as a bastion of capitalism for the rest of the world, prints currency that seems suited for a communist country, with dull, olive-drab colors and nothing more than inconspicuous numbers and small photographs of various statesmen to help identify different denominations of value. These are just a couple of the many insightful observations that Roya Hakakian makes about the peculiarities of American people and culture in her entertaining and enlightening book, A Beginner’s Guide to America: For the Immigrant and the Curious.
For people born in the United States, especially those who aren’t well traveled, there is much about our culture, habits, politics and lifestyle that we either take for granted or rarely consider, and seeing oneself from the perspective of an outsider can be both amusing and disconcerting. I felt both pride and shame while reading this book, but, at least for me, the book was mostly a source of amusement as the author explained her efforts to make sense of the paradoxical nature of the American people.
Ms. Hakakian moved to the U.S. as a refugee from Iran. In the prologue, the author explains that the book is intended as a generic description of the American immigrant experience, but it soon becomes clear that the book is more specifically oriented toward people who have come to America as either refugees from or dissidents of war-torn or totalitarian governments. While any legal immigrant would have to endure the same bureaucratic ordeal of navigating the U.S. State Department, most of the cultural shocks described by the author would be limited to people who come from countries with political and ethnic identities that are entirely different from the United States. The book follows the conceit of a primer for new immigrants, and, while the author maintains this conceit throughout the book, it is obvious the book is directed at a much larger audience. In fact, much of the book appears to be squarely aimed at narrow-minded, native-born U.S. citizens. However, regardless of the intended audience, the book is directed at the reader and written almost entirely in second person.
The book begins with the author’s, and thus the immigrant’s, first impression of America. After making their way through the airport and enduring numerous inspections of their passports and queries about their reasons for being here, the newly-arrived immigrant who actually manages to leave the airport will likely be struck by the enormity of America: big cars, big people and a never-ending and lush landscape. Especially for someone coming from the deserts of the Middle East, America truly is a beautiful and awe-inspiring place. It is in these early chapters that native-born Americans will feel their hearts swell with pride as the author describes the generosity of strangers who help immigrants with no expectation of receiving anything in return and how a person from a strange and foreign land can arrive in America wearing their native garb without eliciting much concern, or even casual interest, from the people on the street.
The author goes on to describe the delight and surprise newly-arrived immigrants will feel as they learn about the freedoms that ordinary citizens enjoy. There are no morality police chastising or disciplining young couples for public displays of affection. Books and the internet aren’t censored. Public officials don’t ask for or expect bribes. The sight of a police officer provides a sense of security rather than a sense of dread. And, most shocking of all, American citizens frequently and vehemently criticize their government. As the author explains, for someone coming from a proscribed culture, all of this takes some getting used to.
Of course, at the heart of this is America’s most important trait: a profound respect for the rule of law. Native-born Americans take this for granted, but, for those coming from a country where social and political circumstances are dictated by the whims of a dictator or a theocracy, it is a remarkable achievement.
The American obsession with the seemingly trivial will also puzzle the newly arrived immigrant. The author was fascinated to learn about the American hobby of bird watching. Why would sensible people devote hours to identifying and observing various species of birds? For people coming from a country where day-to-day survival was never taken for granted, such behavior seems almost comical, but, as the author explains, Americans indulge in these activities because they enjoy an unprecedented level of prosperity and security. The practice of planning for the future, such as retirement and college savings, also seems strange to the refugee immigrant, but Americans plan for the future because they are likely to have one. On the other hand, tomorrow is something that is never assumed by someone living in a war-ravaged country like Syria. The luxury of assuming a future, perhaps more than anything else, best illustrates the privilege of living in a country like the United States.
However, even though Ms. Hakakian finds much to praise about America, she is also unsparing in her criticism, and most of this criticism is focused on our hostile attitude toward immigrants. As she explains, America was founded by immigrants, but, as each successive wave of nationalities and ethnicities have found their way to our shores, they have followed a repetitive practice of closing the door behind them. The English didn’t accept the Irish, the Irish didn’t accept the Italians, and none of them showed much tolerance for Asians or African-Americans.
Perhaps what I most admire about this book is Ms. Hakakian’s even-handed attitude toward her adopted country, but this isn’t accomplished by taking an apolitical approach to her subject. She doesn’t achieve objectivity by not offending anyone. She achieves objectivity by offending everyone. For example, conservatives will likely be offended by what they perceive as a frequently ungrateful attitude toward the country that gave the author refuge from her home country, and liberals will likely be offended at the author’s willingness to condemn Muslims for what she perceives as blatant misogyny.
One of the most important questions the author raises in this book is what it means to be an American. Since its founding, the law, culture and identity of the United States has been defined by its English heritage. In fact, it has been said that an American is nothing more than “an Englishman fully expressed.” However, within the next twenty years caucasians of Northern European descent will no longer be the dominant ethnicity in the United States. There will likely be more people of Asian descent than of European descent. How does this change the identity of the United States and what will be the impact on American culture? While some may regard this ethnic change as “unAmerican,” it is actually the most profound example of what America represents. The American continents were the last places in the world to fall under the influence of European and Asian imperialism. The Europeans may have gotten here first, but that doesn’t give their descendents the right to bar the door from future generations of immigrants even if it results in a drastic change in our traditional identity. And that seems to be the ultimate point of this fascinating book.
Books about an outsider’s perspective on America certainly aren’t new. They are at least as old as de Tocqueville’s Democracy in America, but, with her book, Roya Hakakian has given us a contemporary, amusing and thought-provoking look into a modern-day immigrant’s perspective on our great country.
For people born in the United States, especially those who aren’t well traveled, there is much about our culture, habits, politics and lifestyle that we either take for granted or rarely consider, and seeing oneself from the perspective of an outsider can be both amusing and disconcerting. I felt both pride and shame while reading this book, but, at least for me, the book was mostly a source of amusement as the author explained her efforts to make sense of the paradoxical nature of the American people.
Ms. Hakakian moved to the U.S. as a refugee from Iran. In the prologue, the author explains that the book is intended as a generic description of the American immigrant experience, but it soon becomes clear that the book is more specifically oriented toward people who have come to America as either refugees from or dissidents of war-torn or totalitarian governments. While any legal immigrant would have to endure the same bureaucratic ordeal of navigating the U.S. State Department, most of the cultural shocks described by the author would be limited to people who come from countries with political and ethnic identities that are entirely different from the United States. The book follows the conceit of a primer for new immigrants, and, while the author maintains this conceit throughout the book, it is obvious the book is directed at a much larger audience. In fact, much of the book appears to be squarely aimed at narrow-minded, native-born U.S. citizens. However, regardless of the intended audience, the book is directed at the reader and written almost entirely in second person.
The book begins with the author’s, and thus the immigrant’s, first impression of America. After making their way through the airport and enduring numerous inspections of their passports and queries about their reasons for being here, the newly-arrived immigrant who actually manages to leave the airport will likely be struck by the enormity of America: big cars, big people and a never-ending and lush landscape. Especially for someone coming from the deserts of the Middle East, America truly is a beautiful and awe-inspiring place. It is in these early chapters that native-born Americans will feel their hearts swell with pride as the author describes the generosity of strangers who help immigrants with no expectation of receiving anything in return and how a person from a strange and foreign land can arrive in America wearing their native garb without eliciting much concern, or even casual interest, from the people on the street.
The author goes on to describe the delight and surprise newly-arrived immigrants will feel as they learn about the freedoms that ordinary citizens enjoy. There are no morality police chastising or disciplining young couples for public displays of affection. Books and the internet aren’t censored. Public officials don’t ask for or expect bribes. The sight of a police officer provides a sense of security rather than a sense of dread. And, most shocking of all, American citizens frequently and vehemently criticize their government. As the author explains, for someone coming from a proscribed culture, all of this takes some getting used to.
Of course, at the heart of this is America’s most important trait: a profound respect for the rule of law. Native-born Americans take this for granted, but, for those coming from a country where social and political circumstances are dictated by the whims of a dictator or a theocracy, it is a remarkable achievement.
The American obsession with the seemingly trivial will also puzzle the newly arrived immigrant. The author was fascinated to learn about the American hobby of bird watching. Why would sensible people devote hours to identifying and observing various species of birds? For people coming from a country where day-to-day survival was never taken for granted, such behavior seems almost comical, but, as the author explains, Americans indulge in these activities because they enjoy an unprecedented level of prosperity and security. The practice of planning for the future, such as retirement and college savings, also seems strange to the refugee immigrant, but Americans plan for the future because they are likely to have one. On the other hand, tomorrow is something that is never assumed by someone living in a war-ravaged country like Syria. The luxury of assuming a future, perhaps more than anything else, best illustrates the privilege of living in a country like the United States.
However, even though Ms. Hakakian finds much to praise about America, she is also unsparing in her criticism, and most of this criticism is focused on our hostile attitude toward immigrants. As she explains, America was founded by immigrants, but, as each successive wave of nationalities and ethnicities have found their way to our shores, they have followed a repetitive practice of closing the door behind them. The English didn’t accept the Irish, the Irish didn’t accept the Italians, and none of them showed much tolerance for Asians or African-Americans.
Perhaps what I most admire about this book is Ms. Hakakian’s even-handed attitude toward her adopted country, but this isn’t accomplished by taking an apolitical approach to her subject. She doesn’t achieve objectivity by not offending anyone. She achieves objectivity by offending everyone. For example, conservatives will likely be offended by what they perceive as a frequently ungrateful attitude toward the country that gave the author refuge from her home country, and liberals will likely be offended at the author’s willingness to condemn Muslims for what she perceives as blatant misogyny.
One of the most important questions the author raises in this book is what it means to be an American. Since its founding, the law, culture and identity of the United States has been defined by its English heritage. In fact, it has been said that an American is nothing more than “an Englishman fully expressed.” However, within the next twenty years caucasians of Northern European descent will no longer be the dominant ethnicity in the United States. There will likely be more people of Asian descent than of European descent. How does this change the identity of the United States and what will be the impact on American culture? While some may regard this ethnic change as “unAmerican,” it is actually the most profound example of what America represents. The American continents were the last places in the world to fall under the influence of European and Asian imperialism. The Europeans may have gotten here first, but that doesn’t give their descendents the right to bar the door from future generations of immigrants even if it results in a drastic change in our traditional identity. And that seems to be the ultimate point of this fascinating book.
Books about an outsider’s perspective on America certainly aren’t new. They are at least as old as de Tocqueville’s Democracy in America, but, with her book, Roya Hakakian has given us a contemporary, amusing and thought-provoking look into a modern-day immigrant’s perspective on our great country.
June 1, 2021
2.5 stars
Well, I’ll try to stay fair.
I really had to make an effort to finish this book. I sometimes agreed with the depiction of what can be a new life in America. But most of the time, I found the author’s style or too neutral, or too dramatic. Using “you” for 300 pages was a risky choice. Okay, she explored various possibilities. “You” came from that country. “You” knew this as a child.
Unfortunately, I didn’t find myself in any of her immigrant portraits. I didn’t believe in them either. Not personal enough I guess.
The rosy outlook or the dramatic tone (“Yes, music under the sky, and no arrests. It is possible.”, “Instead of dissecting cadavers, you looked at them in fading print and poor-quality photos.”) really bothered me. I have an idea of what the author wanted to do (sharing her own experience, among other things), I just don’t understand how the result can be so clumsy.
And the chapters on romance and bodies seemed so retrograde to me.
I enjoyed some parts of the book, for example when she explains what “service” means for Americans... but that’s all that I can remember.
As a new immigrant in America, nothing really seemed accurate to me, except some very obvious facts.
Well, I’ll try to stay fair.
I really had to make an effort to finish this book. I sometimes agreed with the depiction of what can be a new life in America. But most of the time, I found the author’s style or too neutral, or too dramatic. Using “you” for 300 pages was a risky choice. Okay, she explored various possibilities. “You” came from that country. “You” knew this as a child.
Unfortunately, I didn’t find myself in any of her immigrant portraits. I didn’t believe in them either. Not personal enough I guess.
The rosy outlook or the dramatic tone (“Yes, music under the sky, and no arrests. It is possible.”, “Instead of dissecting cadavers, you looked at them in fading print and poor-quality photos.”) really bothered me. I have an idea of what the author wanted to do (sharing her own experience, among other things), I just don’t understand how the result can be so clumsy.
And the chapters on romance and bodies seemed so retrograde to me.
I enjoyed some parts of the book, for example when she explains what “service” means for Americans... but that’s all that I can remember.
As a new immigrant in America, nothing really seemed accurate to me, except some very obvious facts.
June 1, 2021
A DNF for me. Although this book is supposed to show what life is like for the new immigrant in America, the author’s anger, cynicism and sarcasm are just overwhelming. As a former ESL tutor, I expected to gain some insight into what my students have experienced. After 60 plus pages, I found that I just couldn’t continue. I’m sorry that the author seemed to have such a bad time of it, but I got tired of America being blamed for whatever she found hard about being here.
June 12, 2021
This is a beautifully written book from an immigrant from Iran who left in August 1984 and finally became a United States citizen. Hat tip to Russ Roberts and his podcast, EconTalk, for interviewing the author, which led me to want to read this book. As a native born citizen, this book will open your eyes to your country in new ways you might have never thought of before. An excellent example is her story of putting on a seat belt in a taxi: “…better than any seal or stamp in your passport, that you have officially moved into a territory where human life is not as cheap as you once knew.” Asking “Where are you from?” is the most vexing four words according to the author, as the immigrant takes it to mean that you do not belong here (of course, they eventually learn that even the native-born ask each other this question). How about living in a new place where none of your kin are buried? Being able to buy any books you want: “How bizarre that you had to leave your country to learn the truth about its past.” A trip to the supermarket, something we natives take for granted, is a cornucopia to a newcomer. How we feed our pets here, and even dress them. Or this: “You will pass through Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard, Harriet Tubman Avenue, and Frederick Douglass Highway, and you will realize that America’s mistakes are not few, but that she has the ability to correct herself, and change course.” She provides this metaphor: “Doctors can transplant the heart of one human into another. But no one has figured out how to transplant the human himself, especially one who was chased out of his homeland. Though he looks like the rest, he is nothing like them. Like the stages of grief, there are also the stages of arrival: disorientation, despair, fury, acquiescence, assimilation.”
This is an optimistic thought: “Hating an immigrant community is America’s hazing ritual. It means that a future generation, with undue adulation to make up for the spurns of their elders, will be ushering you into their fold.” And this is an excellent point: Do not make the common mistake of thinking that it was, that it is, the uneducated or the disaffected who have harbored small-minded views. The sins of the elites are far greater. Their lofty language has a way of refurbishing every old malice into something fresh and respectable. In 1921, the renowned economist and first president of the American Eugenics Society, Irving Fisher, delivered a speech at the Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory.”
And my favorite passage: “It is only a matter of time until everyone realizes that America, with its grand ambitions, can never belong to any single group, no more than paper can be Chinese, or penicillin British. Like all great discoveries, America, the modern world’s first democratic invention, belongs to everyone. She is a mecca for all who dream her dreams…Do not mistake the certificate for a deed. You can only guard her grandeur, not claim it. Citizenship does not give you the ownership of this land. It only gives you the honor of her stewardship, the pride of upholding her principles, and of keeping her fire burning to warm all the generations to come.”
A wonderful read that will give you a new appreciation for both America’s strengths and faults.
This is an optimistic thought: “Hating an immigrant community is America’s hazing ritual. It means that a future generation, with undue adulation to make up for the spurns of their elders, will be ushering you into their fold.” And this is an excellent point: Do not make the common mistake of thinking that it was, that it is, the uneducated or the disaffected who have harbored small-minded views. The sins of the elites are far greater. Their lofty language has a way of refurbishing every old malice into something fresh and respectable. In 1921, the renowned economist and first president of the American Eugenics Society, Irving Fisher, delivered a speech at the Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory.”
And my favorite passage: “It is only a matter of time until everyone realizes that America, with its grand ambitions, can never belong to any single group, no more than paper can be Chinese, or penicillin British. Like all great discoveries, America, the modern world’s first democratic invention, belongs to everyone. She is a mecca for all who dream her dreams…Do not mistake the certificate for a deed. You can only guard her grandeur, not claim it. Citizenship does not give you the ownership of this land. It only gives you the honor of her stewardship, the pride of upholding her principles, and of keeping her fire burning to warm all the generations to come.”
A wonderful read that will give you a new appreciation for both America’s strengths and faults.
April 16, 2021
Being an expat (and aspiring immigrant) into the United States myself, I was very curious about this book and enjoyed it for the most part.
The author gives great insight into situations, customs and the american way of life so it's definitely an interesting read for those who plan to live in the US or arrived here recently without knowing a lot about the ins and outs of the culture and language. As a foreigner immigrating into the country you get a feeling of being among others in the same situation while reading and that can be a great comfort during difficult times.
The title says it's a "beginner's guide to America" and while I did feel guided through certain situations when reading, it also felt a bit too lecturing from time to time: "You will encounter this or that....and you will feel THIS WAY about it" or "You will meet people who asked XY question and that will make you feel like so.....". This writing style is too generalising in my opinion, since every immigrant's story is as unique as the people themselves.
Another thing is, that the author is telling you about her very own life story and her path and reasons on why and how she immigrated to America. Her story is very interesting indeed, but it was a bit confusing at times to seperate it from the general "guidelines" that ALL immigrants can relate to. Granted she has anecdotes and stories from other immigrants inserted into the book here and there to show a different perspective, but those were very specific and again....while really really interesting to read about, they are not relatable for all immigrants from all the parts of the world.
Towards the end, this "guide" turned more and more into a somewhat judgmental, political opinion piece, telling you almost aggressivley what to think and why you are either a victim or an aggressor - there's hardly anything in between in seems - without any differentiation. I didn't enjoy this part in the slightest and it left a foul aftertaste to the majority of the book I had enjoyed reading up to then.
The author gives great insight into situations, customs and the american way of life so it's definitely an interesting read for those who plan to live in the US or arrived here recently without knowing a lot about the ins and outs of the culture and language. As a foreigner immigrating into the country you get a feeling of being among others in the same situation while reading and that can be a great comfort during difficult times.
The title says it's a "beginner's guide to America" and while I did feel guided through certain situations when reading, it also felt a bit too lecturing from time to time: "You will encounter this or that....and you will feel THIS WAY about it" or "You will meet people who asked XY question and that will make you feel like so.....". This writing style is too generalising in my opinion, since every immigrant's story is as unique as the people themselves.
Another thing is, that the author is telling you about her very own life story and her path and reasons on why and how she immigrated to America. Her story is very interesting indeed, but it was a bit confusing at times to seperate it from the general "guidelines" that ALL immigrants can relate to. Granted she has anecdotes and stories from other immigrants inserted into the book here and there to show a different perspective, but those were very specific and again....while really really interesting to read about, they are not relatable for all immigrants from all the parts of the world.
Towards the end, this "guide" turned more and more into a somewhat judgmental, political opinion piece, telling you almost aggressivley what to think and why you are either a victim or an aggressor - there's hardly anything in between in seems - without any differentiation. I didn't enjoy this part in the slightest and it left a foul aftertaste to the majority of the book I had enjoyed reading up to then.
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May 27, 2021Recommend the podcast with Russ Roberts...
https://www.econtalk.org/roya-hakakia...
Roya Hakakian on A Beginner's Guide to America
Apr 26 2021
Author and poet Roya Hakakian talks about her latest book, A Beginner's Guide to America: For the Immigrant and the Curious with EconTalk host Russ Roberts. Hakakian was born in Iran and came to the United States as a 19 year-old, not speaking any English, and carrying only the things she could stuff in her backpack. She tells Russ about the love affair she's had with her adopted country as well as where there is room for improvement.
https://www.econtalk.org/roya-hakakia...
Roya Hakakian on A Beginner's Guide to America
Apr 26 2021
Author and poet Roya Hakakian talks about her latest book, A Beginner's Guide to America: For the Immigrant and the Curious with EconTalk host Russ Roberts. Hakakian was born in Iran and came to the United States as a 19 year-old, not speaking any English, and carrying only the things she could stuff in her backpack. She tells Russ about the love affair she's had with her adopted country as well as where there is room for improvement.
February 16, 2021
This book ended up being both nothing and everything that I expected. So many of the author's decisions, including the use of second person, and framing it as a guidebook, make it accessible and draw the reader in.
Whether you are a new immigrant, an immigrant from years past, or an American-born citizen, there is something in this book for you. It shines a light clearly on what America still has to grapple with both from its past and future, while highlighting all it has to offer.
A really insightful and yet hopeful read.
Whether you are a new immigrant, an immigrant from years past, or an American-born citizen, there is something in this book for you. It shines a light clearly on what America still has to grapple with both from its past and future, while highlighting all it has to offer.
A really insightful and yet hopeful read.
October 9, 2021
Engaging memoir to listen to - so interesting to hear what America looks like in the eyes of immigrants and their different experiences and perspectives.
October 15, 2021
I don’t like sarcasm when it’s used negatively. It can be used to bring a smile … then OK.
April 28, 2021
Although I did not read every word of this book, I read enough throughout the text to get a sense of the author's "guide to America" for immigrants and the curious.
We who were born here may be sympathetic, but we can't clearly understand the struggle of learning the language, the currency, the rules and regulations (or lack thereof) for newly-arrived refugees. And because we haven't experienced the same kind of war, violence, poverty and deprivation as those who flee their homelands, we don't always recognize the struggle it takes for refugees to settle here.
Eye-opening in part, painful at times, this book should be required reading for us all.
We who were born here may be sympathetic, but we can't clearly understand the struggle of learning the language, the currency, the rules and regulations (or lack thereof) for newly-arrived refugees. And because we haven't experienced the same kind of war, violence, poverty and deprivation as those who flee their homelands, we don't always recognize the struggle it takes for refugees to settle here.
Eye-opening in part, painful at times, this book should be required reading for us all.
March 4, 2022
As one of the curious, I really enjoyed the glimpse into an immigrant's experience. I'm sure her experience as a refugee from Iran differed from the experience of many other immigrants, but I imagine there are a lot of commonalities. And I felt like I got a better idea about what is different about America. Seeing us from the perspective of an outsider was very interesting!
April 10, 2023
3.5 I was hot and cold over the course of this one. Surprising to no one who knows me: I identified with the parts criticizing America and her history and her biases the most.
Read
May 16, 2025Кинула читати, бо десь на сороковій сторінці була історія про пару росіян і їхні труднощі в адаптації, а мені це не цікаво.
March 16, 2021
The author Roya Hakakian gave an intimate look at the experience of being an alien. Whether you're an immigrant or a curious one, she spoke to you directly in this book. Based on her experience, she described the moments after immigrants set foot on "the land of free."
As an immigrant myself, I could relate to her journey of assimilating. I was lucky that I was prepared enough for the culture shock when I arrived here as a student—surrounded by a host mother and friends who were kind to teach me about the culture. It was exciting to learn new things, which beat my anxiety at that time. Not everyone can have a smooth transition when they enter a new environment. After more than a decade living in the States, I still have ups and downs.
If you were born here, you might think this book isn't for you. But it's the opposite; I feel the author gave insightful information and advice that will show you what it's like being a foreigner in this country. Hopefully, it can cultivate empathy for immigrants. Thank you to @aaknopf for this gifted book!
As an immigrant myself, I could relate to her journey of assimilating. I was lucky that I was prepared enough for the culture shock when I arrived here as a student—surrounded by a host mother and friends who were kind to teach me about the culture. It was exciting to learn new things, which beat my anxiety at that time. Not everyone can have a smooth transition when they enter a new environment. After more than a decade living in the States, I still have ups and downs.
If you were born here, you might think this book isn't for you. But it's the opposite; I feel the author gave insightful information and advice that will show you what it's like being a foreigner in this country. Hopefully, it can cultivate empathy for immigrants. Thank you to @aaknopf for this gifted book!
October 6, 2021
What the heck is this?! I literally couldn't get past chapter 3, it was such a mess. Can we say negativity?! Was this meant as a humorous look at what foreigners face moving here? My dad appreciated the classes he took when he moved to the US, and never viewed his instructors is such a negative light. Don't waste your money.
June 3, 2021
A look at US history through an immigration lens.
January 16, 2025
A 3 1/2. Some insight but also lots of predictable comments. The best were descriptions of 'rules' in American culture and assumptions about what is right, sometimes exclusively
April 22, 2022
As much as many people who live here would like to forget or believe otherwise, America is and always has been a nation of immigrants. We Americans love to wax poetic about what a great country we live in, but we forget that somewhere back in the past, our ancestors made the decision ( or in some cases, were forced) to uproot their lives in another place and make a new life here. I’m a child of immigrants, but having been born in the US, I never really got a feel for what my parents went through and what they must have experienced and still experience coming to this country and living here. That’s why I so enjoyed this book - it gave me a chance to see this country the way someone from somewhere else sees it, and to learn about the changes in themselves and their lives they experience as they adjust to a new life in a new
Roya Hakakan reminds us that the perspectives and cultural mores and beliefs of people coming to America don’t disappear the minute someone crosses the US border; those beliefs and perspectives form how immigrants see this country and shape how they adapt to it - or don’t adapt, as the case may be. The book serves as a guide to what a newly arrived refugee may feel and experience, and it’s intended to provide them encouragement and hope to get past the toughest and most confusing parts of their experience. The book can also provide their children and grandchildren a new perspective on why their parents or grandparents look at life in America the way they do, and give them a greater appreciation for what the sacrificed and what they gave up to come here.
This book’s title may sound like it’s intended as a “how to” guide to getting through the process of coming to America, but it really isn’t. I think Roya meant the book to provide a bit of encouragement to the immigrants who follow her, a way to provide a bit of hope that they’ll make it through this challenging experience and learn and grow as a result, that they’ll make it through because others that came before them made it through, too.
Kudos to Roya for giving us all a new outlook on life in America, warts and all, and helping others see what makes this country both so different and so special. Highly recommended!
Roya Hakakan reminds us that the perspectives and cultural mores and beliefs of people coming to America don’t disappear the minute someone crosses the US border; those beliefs and perspectives form how immigrants see this country and shape how they adapt to it - or don’t adapt, as the case may be. The book serves as a guide to what a newly arrived refugee may feel and experience, and it’s intended to provide them encouragement and hope to get past the toughest and most confusing parts of their experience. The book can also provide their children and grandchildren a new perspective on why their parents or grandparents look at life in America the way they do, and give them a greater appreciation for what the sacrificed and what they gave up to come here.
This book’s title may sound like it’s intended as a “how to” guide to getting through the process of coming to America, but it really isn’t. I think Roya meant the book to provide a bit of encouragement to the immigrants who follow her, a way to provide a bit of hope that they’ll make it through this challenging experience and learn and grow as a result, that they’ll make it through because others that came before them made it through, too.
Kudos to Roya for giving us all a new outlook on life in America, warts and all, and helping others see what makes this country both so different and so special. Highly recommended!
November 17, 2021
Eye-opening and fascinating for an American-born citizen to see ourselves and the country we take for granted from an outside or newcomer's perspective.
For example, on first arriving in America: "You get into your taxi and are suprised to see that you are its only passenger. There is no one else around to squeeze you against the door, to make room for. Though you can spread out, you will keep your body compact within the humble boundaries of past cab rides. But soon the vastness of America will inspire you to sprawl too, and to grow into your new, roomier surroundings. As your taxi pulls away from the curb, either your driver or an incessant beeping will force you to put on your seat belt. Since you are not accustomed to observing any safety practices, the seat belt will cause you to feel bound as if in a straitjacket. The thought of having such protection only to ride through peaceful streets is laughable to you. Car crashes were the least of your worries in the land you left behind, a place where the living were not so protected, the siren of aerial bombings, or all manner of violence, were as common as church bells in the small towns of America. Sometimes you were treated as a human ATM at manned roadblocks on lawless streets, handing out cash to thugs or the adolescent gang members who were the self-appointed gatekeepers of your town. Now you only worry about a mere accident. Even though you already feel the safest you have ever felt, you must put on your seat belt, for it is the law, as are helmets for cyclists. These safety measures make you realize, better than any seal or stamp in your passport, that you have officially moved into a territory where human life is not as cheap as you once knew." (pg 11)
The book continues on in this manner, gently pointing out the blessings, downsides, and quirks of living in the Land of Opportunity.
For example, on first arriving in America: "You get into your taxi and are suprised to see that you are its only passenger. There is no one else around to squeeze you against the door, to make room for. Though you can spread out, you will keep your body compact within the humble boundaries of past cab rides. But soon the vastness of America will inspire you to sprawl too, and to grow into your new, roomier surroundings. As your taxi pulls away from the curb, either your driver or an incessant beeping will force you to put on your seat belt. Since you are not accustomed to observing any safety practices, the seat belt will cause you to feel bound as if in a straitjacket. The thought of having such protection only to ride through peaceful streets is laughable to you. Car crashes were the least of your worries in the land you left behind, a place where the living were not so protected, the siren of aerial bombings, or all manner of violence, were as common as church bells in the small towns of America. Sometimes you were treated as a human ATM at manned roadblocks on lawless streets, handing out cash to thugs or the adolescent gang members who were the self-appointed gatekeepers of your town. Now you only worry about a mere accident. Even though you already feel the safest you have ever felt, you must put on your seat belt, for it is the law, as are helmets for cyclists. These safety measures make you realize, better than any seal or stamp in your passport, that you have officially moved into a territory where human life is not as cheap as you once knew." (pg 11)
The book continues on in this manner, gently pointing out the blessings, downsides, and quirks of living in the Land of Opportunity.
May 11, 2022
I once subscribed to the magazine World Press Review, which published articles from papers around the world so that I could see how those outside the US viewed America during the Cold War (I was, and remain, a geek like that). This book provides just such an insight, pointing out with awe and some consternation those uniquely American qualities we take for granted, from the vast quantities of inconceivably perfect apples that are nonetheless bland compared to those back home, to the freedom women enjoy demonstrated in the simple question, "Merlot or Chardonnay?" Apparently not every culture affords their women such discretion.
Author and Iranian immigrant Roya Hakakian argues the reason why no nation in world history has ever been so mighty is our "perfectly imperfect harmony." I wish more people could learn to appreciate how perfect that imperfection is. Reading this book would be a good place to start.
Author and Iranian immigrant Roya Hakakian argues the reason why no nation in world history has ever been so mighty is our "perfectly imperfect harmony." I wish more people could learn to appreciate how perfect that imperfection is. Reading this book would be a good place to start.
June 22, 2021
I feel like this book is a must-read for any new immigrant. Unlike many other books written in the last couple of years, it is written with SO MUCH LOVE for the country. Recognizing its flaws, imperfections, work to be done, but caring so much for its ideals and values. In that sense, the book is almost old-fashioned, and yet so refreshing. It is not in vogue these days to love America.
Admittedly, I was annoyed at first by the narration in 2nd person, like an instruction manual. But I got used to it by the middle of the book.
It's interesting how the book written by someone from Middle East, with certain history and background, can be so relatable for almost each and every immigrant to the US, no matter where they are from. At the end of the day, there is a reason why we end up here, and it is probably not so unique. How many times I almost exclaimed: "Yes, so true" and how many times almost sobbed when it came to heartache of belonging, leaving the family behind, and so on.
The book doesn't leave out any social problems that may still exist in the US. But even those are described in the most loving and non-confrontational way, like a mother would talk about her child's less than perfect school grades. I wish more people could discuss their political views and differences in this way, rather than spit on everything America stands for because of a few issues you don't agree for.
Overall, I'd say the book is written with a lot of heart, and I loved it.
Admittedly, I was annoyed at first by the narration in 2nd person, like an instruction manual. But I got used to it by the middle of the book.
It's interesting how the book written by someone from Middle East, with certain history and background, can be so relatable for almost each and every immigrant to the US, no matter where they are from. At the end of the day, there is a reason why we end up here, and it is probably not so unique. How many times I almost exclaimed: "Yes, so true" and how many times almost sobbed when it came to heartache of belonging, leaving the family behind, and so on.
The book doesn't leave out any social problems that may still exist in the US. But even those are described in the most loving and non-confrontational way, like a mother would talk about her child's less than perfect school grades. I wish more people could discuss their political views and differences in this way, rather than spit on everything America stands for because of a few issues you don't agree for.
Overall, I'd say the book is written with a lot of heart, and I loved it.
July 15, 2021
I really wanted to like
A Beginner's Guide to America
. The idea is certainly a winner - a book about the experience of a recent immigrant to America, written by a recent immigrant in the form of a guidebook.
Unfortunately, I just didn't connect with this book.
Perhaps it was because it was told in the 2nd person. "You" came to America with this or that expectation, after "you" suffered this or that experience in your homeland. In small quantities 2nd person works, but when an author writes a whole book that way there is a risk that your readers may not connect with your "you".
Maybe it's the way the author put the material together. Hakakian took her own immigrant experience, and blended it in with the experiences of other recent immigrants she interviewed into a single thread. The problem is not all the experiences blend together and without any attachment to real people it was harder to connect.
Don't get me wrong - there were parts of the book I did connect with . But overall I can't really recommend this one. Two stars ⭐⭐.
Unfortunately, I just didn't connect with this book.
Perhaps it was because it was told in the 2nd person. "You" came to America with this or that expectation, after "you" suffered this or that experience in your homeland. In small quantities 2nd person works, but when an author writes a whole book that way there is a risk that your readers may not connect with your "you".
Maybe it's the way the author put the material together. Hakakian took her own immigrant experience, and blended it in with the experiences of other recent immigrants she interviewed into a single thread. The problem is not all the experiences blend together and without any attachment to real people it was harder to connect.
Don't get me wrong - there were parts of the book I did connect with . But overall I can't really recommend this one. Two stars ⭐⭐.
February 15, 2022
The pain of losing everything familiar can render refugees incapacitated emotionally, socially, psychologically, and the trauma of facing everything new can be utterly overwhelming.
In this extended letter, Ms. Hakakian tries to reassure the new arrivals to this country that their responses are understandable and, perhaps, transient, and that there are things to know to speed that transiency. She provides insights into Americans' behaviors and expectations, Americans' assumptions and attitudes, into the ways that the refugee process works so that the seeming insults might be swallowed, and the seeming benefits might be garnered.
This is a wonderful book. Lyrical, funny, deadly serious. Personal. Applicable. This is a book for immigrants and refugees, to be sure, but it's also a mirror for "native born" Americans to ponder who we are and who we want to be.
This should be required reading for everyone, the kind of book that would be most interesting if included in high school courses on history, government, economics, and other social studies.
In this extended letter, Ms. Hakakian tries to reassure the new arrivals to this country that their responses are understandable and, perhaps, transient, and that there are things to know to speed that transiency. She provides insights into Americans' behaviors and expectations, Americans' assumptions and attitudes, into the ways that the refugee process works so that the seeming insults might be swallowed, and the seeming benefits might be garnered.
This is a wonderful book. Lyrical, funny, deadly serious. Personal. Applicable. This is a book for immigrants and refugees, to be sure, but it's also a mirror for "native born" Americans to ponder who we are and who we want to be.
This should be required reading for everyone, the kind of book that would be most interesting if included in high school courses on history, government, economics, and other social studies.
April 9, 2021
The political debates about immigration continue and it’s unlikely the issue will ever be completely resolved – if only because each generation of Americans faces a different set of circumstances. What we rarely talk about during these debates is what these immigrants feel about our country. It’s certainly something I’ve rarely take into consideration, which is why Roya Hakakian’s “A Beginner’s Guide to America: For Immigrants and the Curious” (Alfred A. Knopf) was so thought provoking. Hakakian, who was born to an Iranian Jewish family, came to the United States in 1985 seeking political asylum. Her work is not really for immigrants, though, and, while at first it sounds like a critique, it’s really a love letter to her new home.
See the rest of my comments at https://www.thereportergroup.org/stre...
See the rest of my comments at https://www.thereportergroup.org/stre...
September 2, 2022
Every native-born American should read this book and think about the things we all take for granted most of the time.
May 23, 2021
I have mixed feelings about this one. I really liked it. I thought it was relatable, funny and very informative. I loved her writing so much I ordered one of her previous books. BUT it felt a little too rosy for me. She does a great job at pointing out our troubled areas as a country, but it just felt like a love-letter to America, very patriotic and very much in line with American exceptionalism and there we don’t see eye-to-eye.
June 1, 2021
Overall, I found the book to be less than readable -- mainly, I think, because of the writing style; it felt like a lecture. I did find some sections on US history to be quite insightful. (As a side note: The subtitle of this book could be "For the WELL-TO-DO Immigant and Curious.")
January 1, 2022
If you are considering this as a text for ESL/ESOL, forget it, unless you are working primarily with immigrants from Islamic countries; use America's leading Interculturist Robert Kohl's work for a more apt distillation of American values and culture. In a nutshell (in the essay, he elaborates): 1. Personal Control Over the Environment 2. Change is good 3. Time & Its Control is important 4. Equality & Egalitarianism 5. Individualism & Privacy 6. Self-help 7. Competition & Free Enterprise 8. Future Orientation 9. Action/Work Orientation 10. Informality 11. Directness, Openness, Honesty 12. Practicality & Efficiency 13. Materialism & Acquisitiveness
Or see University of Michigan's 101 [very specific tips and] Characteristics of Americans and American Culture.
This book is more snarky memoir than the guide it promises to be. Written in the first person to "you" and telling "you" the reader what you will expect or will feel is absurd, unless the reader comes from a culture similar to the Iranian author's. She exhibits the time honored Persian tradition, an art, really, of whining and complaining about everything and it's not merely tiresome; it's unwarranted. Here's the thing: In the USA, for some years, Black Nigerian immigrant women have out-earned native born White and Black women. According to Pew Research, males from India have the highest incomes of any group in the USA. Thus, empirical data counters those sections of Hokakian's book about rampant anti-immigrant hostilities, particularly the treatment of brown-skinned immigrants. Obviously, plenty are flourishing to an extraordinary extent.
Further, Hokakian repeats the constant narrative we are given, that people of European ancestry, Whites, in the US feel threatened by becoming a minority in the USA, but the Census data actually indicate otherwise: 65% of Hispanics have only European ancestry, like blonde, blue-eyed Cameron Diaz, or both candidates for the Chilean presidency in 12/2021. What is the reason for that category, exactly? When European ancestry is accounted for among "Hispanics," the U.S. is currently around 84% European, 6% Hispanic, meaning mixtures of Black, indigenous, and European, 13% Black, 5.7% Asian, and 2.8% Other. For comparison and perspective, in 1960: 87% European, 11% African, 1% Latin, 1% Asian. 1790-1850, the population in SETTLED regions was 82-84% European and the rest African.
Another element that is disingenuous is her statement about immigrants only making contributions to the nation, not taking from it. Let's take a look at the data from Denmark, since I have that at hand. "Immigrants from non-Western countries and their descendants drained" about $5billion, 1.4% of the GDP, while immigrants from Western countries contributed $1billion. Immigrants presumably mostly refugees, from 24 Muslim countries "account for 50% of the non-Westerners, but 77% of the drain. Alongside that worry are fears that Muslims bring notions about democracy and the role of women that Danes find threatening." If previous immigration patterns hold, all of this will be less of an issue by the third generation, but research indicates greater radicalization among second and third generation, exacerbated by hostility.
I have lived in other countries and traveled widely and practiced the "when in Rome" dictum, making every effort to assimilate [a politically incorrect word for immigrants TO the U.S.], observe, and appreciate the culture. For decades, I have taught English to Speakers of Other Languages from a variety of countries and been in relationships with immigrants from Latin America and the Caribbean; nothing here will be helpful to them; our cultures are too similar. But I won't recommend this to my students from China either; again, their lens is unlike the author's. It is rare for my Chinese students to express criticism, so appreciative of clean air to breathe, green spaces free of crowds, eager to please their parents, and motivated to succeed. Let's hope they preserve their culturally-conditioned commitment to success and don't lose it to Americanization; we would all suffer for that.
Want to know what to expect if traveling in the U.S.? Use Rough Guide or just Google "what should foreigners expect in the United States" and see something like this.
If you want to know about other ethnicities' perspectives about family dynamics, there is no substitute for McGoldrick's classic, Ethnicity and Family Therapy.
Or see University of Michigan's 101 [very specific tips and] Characteristics of Americans and American Culture.
This book is more snarky memoir than the guide it promises to be. Written in the first person to "you" and telling "you" the reader what you will expect or will feel is absurd, unless the reader comes from a culture similar to the Iranian author's. She exhibits the time honored Persian tradition, an art, really, of whining and complaining about everything and it's not merely tiresome; it's unwarranted. Here's the thing: In the USA, for some years, Black Nigerian immigrant women have out-earned native born White and Black women. According to Pew Research, males from India have the highest incomes of any group in the USA. Thus, empirical data counters those sections of Hokakian's book about rampant anti-immigrant hostilities, particularly the treatment of brown-skinned immigrants. Obviously, plenty are flourishing to an extraordinary extent.
Further, Hokakian repeats the constant narrative we are given, that people of European ancestry, Whites, in the US feel threatened by becoming a minority in the USA, but the Census data actually indicate otherwise: 65% of Hispanics have only European ancestry, like blonde, blue-eyed Cameron Diaz, or both candidates for the Chilean presidency in 12/2021. What is the reason for that category, exactly? When European ancestry is accounted for among "Hispanics," the U.S. is currently around 84% European, 6% Hispanic, meaning mixtures of Black, indigenous, and European, 13% Black, 5.7% Asian, and 2.8% Other. For comparison and perspective, in 1960: 87% European, 11% African, 1% Latin, 1% Asian. 1790-1850, the population in SETTLED regions was 82-84% European and the rest African.
Another element that is disingenuous is her statement about immigrants only making contributions to the nation, not taking from it. Let's take a look at the data from Denmark, since I have that at hand. "Immigrants from non-Western countries and their descendants drained" about $5billion, 1.4% of the GDP, while immigrants from Western countries contributed $1billion. Immigrants presumably mostly refugees, from 24 Muslim countries "account for 50% of the non-Westerners, but 77% of the drain. Alongside that worry are fears that Muslims bring notions about democracy and the role of women that Danes find threatening." If previous immigration patterns hold, all of this will be less of an issue by the third generation, but research indicates greater radicalization among second and third generation, exacerbated by hostility.
I have lived in other countries and traveled widely and practiced the "when in Rome" dictum, making every effort to assimilate [a politically incorrect word for immigrants TO the U.S.], observe, and appreciate the culture. For decades, I have taught English to Speakers of Other Languages from a variety of countries and been in relationships with immigrants from Latin America and the Caribbean; nothing here will be helpful to them; our cultures are too similar. But I won't recommend this to my students from China either; again, their lens is unlike the author's. It is rare for my Chinese students to express criticism, so appreciative of clean air to breathe, green spaces free of crowds, eager to please their parents, and motivated to succeed. Let's hope they preserve their culturally-conditioned commitment to success and don't lose it to Americanization; we would all suffer for that.
Want to know what to expect if traveling in the U.S.? Use Rough Guide or just Google "what should foreigners expect in the United States" and see something like this.
If you want to know about other ethnicities' perspectives about family dynamics, there is no substitute for McGoldrick's classic, Ethnicity and Family Therapy.
June 7, 2021
In April, The Mark Twain House & Museum hosted an event with author Roya Hakakian as she discussed her new book on immigration, A Beginner’s Guide to America: For the Immigrant and the Curious, with former Connecticut U.S. Congressman Sam Gejdenson and author Jeanne Zulick Ferruolo. The event prompted me to read Hakakian’s new book. Although I am not an immigrant myself, my grandparents and numerous great aunts and uncles came to America from Poland so I was curious to see what she had to say.
Hakakian, who was a teenager during the 1979 Islamic Revolution in Iran, was admitted to the United States as a refugee in 1985. Hakakian began writing the manual for immigrants in 2016, during the height of heated rhetoric about immigration by then-presidential candidate Donald Trump. As president, Trump ordered a travel ban against some Muslim-majority countries, including Iran, and ordered record low refugee admissions.
Hakakian breaks the book into two useful halves; the first tackles the hurdles of arrival in the U.S. - from tense moments at customs and immigration to the overwhelming nature of shopping in the land of plenty to the woes of public transportation. In the second half, the author takes a more introspective approach and adds useful cultural and historical context to the experiences of immigrants when they arrive in America; this part opens with a long series of “lessons.” Hakakian addresses the reader as “you” as she reveals the minute details of American life. The guide is a balance between the cruelty and generosity of the American people. It demonstrates this country’s idiosyncrasies, however, Hakakian manages to strikes a balance between admiration and criticism “achieving a love letter to America that nevertheless isn’t blind to the country’s imperfections.”
As I was reading, I frequently thought about my grandparents’ and other relatives’ journey to America and what they left behind. Hakakian states “It’s a rite of pass to change countries…a huge transformation. You don’t remember the physical details [of arriving in America]; what you were wearing or what day of the week it was. What you remember is the emotional detail and how those events left you feeling. And that’s what I think no immigrant ever forgets."
Hakakian, who was a teenager during the 1979 Islamic Revolution in Iran, was admitted to the United States as a refugee in 1985. Hakakian began writing the manual for immigrants in 2016, during the height of heated rhetoric about immigration by then-presidential candidate Donald Trump. As president, Trump ordered a travel ban against some Muslim-majority countries, including Iran, and ordered record low refugee admissions.
Hakakian breaks the book into two useful halves; the first tackles the hurdles of arrival in the U.S. - from tense moments at customs and immigration to the overwhelming nature of shopping in the land of plenty to the woes of public transportation. In the second half, the author takes a more introspective approach and adds useful cultural and historical context to the experiences of immigrants when they arrive in America; this part opens with a long series of “lessons.” Hakakian addresses the reader as “you” as she reveals the minute details of American life. The guide is a balance between the cruelty and generosity of the American people. It demonstrates this country’s idiosyncrasies, however, Hakakian manages to strikes a balance between admiration and criticism “achieving a love letter to America that nevertheless isn’t blind to the country’s imperfections.”
As I was reading, I frequently thought about my grandparents’ and other relatives’ journey to America and what they left behind. Hakakian states “It’s a rite of pass to change countries…a huge transformation. You don’t remember the physical details [of arriving in America]; what you were wearing or what day of the week it was. What you remember is the emotional detail and how those events left you feeling. And that’s what I think no immigrant ever forgets."
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