How to Be Yourself: Life-Changing Advice from a Reckless Contrarian

by Simon Doonan

" How to Be Yourself is a cheeky, kind and vibrant look at what it takes to shape your one beautiful and wild life." – Amy Poehler An irreverent book of radically honest advice by renowned fashion arbiter and legendary window dresser Simon Doonan
How to Be Yourself  is an irreverent book of radically honest advice by renowned humor writer and cultural commentator, Simon Doonan. Through his unconventional wisdom and singular storytelling, Simon Doonan is the ideal instructor to help readers find – and then flaunt – their own creative style and vision. With provocative wit, he walks us through every aspect of our fashion, socializing, love, work, decor, and family, sharing case studies, quotations by cultural icons and practical tips.
Illustrated with amusing vintage and contemporary photographs, some lifted from the Doonan family album, How to Be Yourself is an inspiring, joyful and entertaining survival guide – a literary GPS that promises to transport you away from your phone and back to yourself.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Personal Development, Humor

160 pages, Paperback

Published September 30, 2020

About the author

Writer, fashionista, acclaimed window dresser and author Simon Doonan is the Creative Ambassador for Barneys New York. His books include Confessions of a Window Dresser, Soccer Style, Eccentric Glamour and Gay Men Don’t Get Fat. His memoir 'Beautiful People’ was turned into a BBC TV series starring Oscar-winners Olivia Coleman and Brenda Blethyn. Simon appears as a judge on the NBC television show Making It, co-hosted by Amy Poehler and Nick Offerman.

Reviews

[Gee · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first chapter is great and the interview between the author and his interior designer/husband is soooo good but the rest of the book is less a guide to HOW to be yourself and more of a long lament by a boomer about why millennials annoy him

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was kindly gifted to me after I recommended to someone that they listen to Simon Doonan on a podcast where he hilariously describes auditioning for The Devil Wears Prada. The book is well designed and funny at times but overall I found it lacking in worthwhile content. Doonan is charming and entertaining in all forms but I'd recommend his guest podcast appearances over this.

[Meg S · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fantastic first few chapters. Unfortunately went from “cool, wise old gay soul” to “white boomer with the wrong priorities” which made the last 2-3 chapters drag on.

[Pasha · Rating 3 out of 5]

Received it as a gift from a dear friend. Pretty witty, light read, though one should not take it too seriously.

[Brandi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun read, and it’s inspired me to try harder when getting dressed everyday.

[Marie Grimmelprez · Rating 4 out of 5]

I came across this book in the small english section in a bookshop while on holiday.
It is different from the things that I usually read, but was quick and easy. It made me laugh a couple of times. Ideal for when you want something different during the holidays!

[Enrico M. Cestari · Rating 1 out of 5]

It started with a great premise, then it completely changes direction moving through biased examples which add little to no value to the philosophical and current topic that -could- have been discussed more in depth. Strongly disappointed.

[inra · Rating 5 out of 5]

i picked up this book because i recently finished one with the same title by ellen hendriksen and loved it. however, some minor differences: hendriksen’s book is an academic overview of tackling one’s inner critic and rising above social anxiety, while simon doonan’s version is a gay man in his 60s giving women advice on being more like themselves in all avenues of life, neatly sorted by categories like “people”, “love”, “decor”, etc.

i will say i was very pleasantly surprised. first of all, the book itself is so cute and fun to read. it’s small, short, colourful, has an amassed collection of celebrity quotes that break up the passages well, and it has photos. i didn’t want to put it down. doonan’s voice is another plus, as he’s kind yet honest and funny yet serious. i regretted reading this from the library because i would love to have my own copy with highlights in all the places that made me smile and pause — in other words, doonan himself is also quoteworthy alongside the more established examples he includes.

i really like the message of this book. it isn’t a manual for life, and the tagline “life-changing advice” is really a personal matter, but i do think it will certainly provide sparks of inspiration. some ideas may catch fire and some may not, but i would recommend it to people in both reading ruts or life ruts. i feel this book revolves around a truth that is often ignored, willfully or otherwise — that when we are not true to ourselves and don’t express our innate originality, we become both not memorable (important) and unhappy (most important).

and no, it is not entirely superficial as you might expect from a barney’s window dresser who is, naturally, obsessed with aesthetics. caution: you cannot fully separate outer looks from inner depths in this world, and he doesn’t waste time trying to defy physics. both core and shell are touched upon as they should be. your looks are what other people see but also what you see when you look in the mirror. to show this nuance in an example, he pleads for you to pay attention to your style while hating on instagram culture.

i like the personal references throughout, the full-page quotes in large font, the need for the glossary at the back, and the opening which denounces phrases like “follow your dreams” by pointing out, “dreams are just nightmares with better furniture. […] in lieu of focusing on your dreams, you must, i beg you, focus on yourself.”

my only gripe is the brevity of the conclusion. after an entire book that delves into various topics in detail, the conclusion was so rushed for a section that introduces two brand new concepts: unselfing and collective effervescent. i get those may not have been the point of this book, but they are both briefly described as vital in one’s journey so i was hoping for more words about it.

regardless, i loved it.

[Bookish Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simon Doonan is my fairy godfather. I’ve read and reviewed his books Wacky Chicks and Asylum. Now the ever entertaining Mr. Doonan is back with his latest book How to Be Yourself: Advice from a Reckless Contrarian.

How to Be Yourself is chockful of wisdom on a slew of topics. These include style, people, love, werk (work), decor, and family.

After a brief introduction, Doonan gives his sage advice in his usual witty manner.

We get encouragement on how to express ourselves in how we dress and how we decorate our homes.

Doonan gives us tips on how we should conduct ourselves in the ever-evolving workplace and on navigating our love lives.

He also shares ideas on how to deal with our families and other people.

Throughout How to Be Yourself, there are quotes by the likes of Coco Chanel, John Waters, Winston Churchill, and Iris Apfel. Doonan also provides a glossary in the back to familiarize yourself with some of the language he uses.

Much of the advice Doonan doles out is probably advice you’ve read elsewhere. But Doonan’s way with words and “you can do it” spirit makes up for it.

Originally published at The Book Self:
https://thebookselfblog.wordpress.com...

[Ivy Digest · Rating 1 out of 5]

Simon presumes that millennials and younger are lost and aren't comfortable being themselves. His title is more a message to himself than to readers, so I don't know who his intended audience is. Maybe a VERY lost and conservative Gen Z without internet?

It's good that he seems to have found comfort in his own skin but his reflections are unrelatable and dated for ages 40 and below. If you're older than 40, you don't really need advice on being yourself since at this point you don't care.
@IvyDigest

[Candice Alessia · Rating 2 out of 5]

I bought this book because the intro was poignant and actually gave me goosebumps. Unfortunately, aside from that and a small part of the conclusion, it was all downhill from there. This book was a disappointing collection of the author’s personal history and anecdotes and had literally nothing to do with being, finding, or embodying your best self. It was more about HIS best self, which after the first chapter gets old real fast. I definitely would not recommend this book.

[May · Rating 4 out of 5]

A funny book that kept me engaged and spark one or two thoughts. I liked that instead of doing a straight forward guide on how to find yourself it was more of a continuous story about himself occasionally annotating what makes these things so important. Obviously reading this book won't make you an idiosyncratic person over night but it made me better understand how they think.
I must say that I found the later chapters hard to relate to but that I can attribute to lack of life experience :)

[Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up this book while browsing at the library and it is a charming and quick read. The interview of the author's husband, designer Jonathan Adler, makes it worth the read alone. I folded down the corners on many pages with great quotes, my favorite being, "Love is the extremely difficult realization that something other than oneself is real. Love, and so art and morals, is the discovery of reality." - Iris Murdoch

[Nayad Monroe · Rating 3 out of 5]

A better title for this book might be “How to Be the Kind of Person Simon Doonan Likes, by Simon Doonan.” It’s a fun book to read to get a very specific point of view; you get a great sense of the author’s personality, and I enjoyed that. The book seems rather dismissive of certain forms of self-expression, though. It’s a quick read, so there’s not much to lose by taking it in to form your own opinion.

[B. · Rating 1 out of 5]

While I generally agree with the sentiment expressed in this book - being your true self is essential for higher quality of life and people are too obsessed with external validation and chasing abstract things to enjoy the present - I also do not agree with the idea that your clothing style or sexuality equate with your personality. Maybe I’m just not the target audience.

[Lauren Morrissey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was a fun and easy read. I picked it up in a museum after being drawn in by some of his opening lines. I would agree with some of the reviews here that state it's less about how to be your own self and more about how he became himself. The sentiment is still nice and there is plenty of food for thought, either as a direct or indirect consequence of his words. I enjoyed it!

[Gina · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

I adore Simon Doonan and his writing. He has a sharp wit and is very clever in his writing. I enjoyed Be Yourself, although it struck me as a modern, updated composite of Wacky Chicks and Eccentric Glamour -- the latter being my favorite of his calls to eccentric self-expression.

[Jessi Mendoza · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read, the author was funny and eccentric in his story telling although at times it did feel a bit of hatred for millennial ideology, which was completely called for but this would drag on for a few chapters. The interview at the end was amazing!! Great way to end this book would recommend if you are looking to read something fun and light

[Hannah Bagnall · Rating 5 out of 5]

For me, Simon Doonan can do no wrong. I want to read everything he's ever written and then have tea with him using my vintage teacups for an in-depth discussion of everything in his brain. Smart, hilarious, high-style, insanely inspiring!

[Ale · Rating 5 out of 5]

THE GREATEST BOOK OF ALL FUCKING TIME I LOVE IT SO MUCH I HAVE NEVER AUDIBLY LAUGHED SO FUCKING MUCH IN MY LIFE. COMEDIC AND HONEST GENUIS.



I’m on vacation in fucking ITALY... ITALY!!! And I finished it in 24 hours.
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[Chesco · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a fun, easy book to read about finding your own style and way around life. Fell into my hands by coincidence and enjoyed reading it, even learned a few things. The vocabulary is a bit tough for a non-native, although the book is generally fun. Good for a light read.

[Maria Gulczynska · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s as if Quentin Crisp met his younger self. My fave part is the fabulous conclusion to the scrummy and glammy ways of becoming. Selfing, unselfing and “collective effervescence” - that’s all life should be about to put it in a simple but complicated manner.

[Siskiyou-Suzy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun little book. My favorite part is the full color images on the matte paper. It's very pleasing. The book itself is just so nice to look at. The content was fun, maybe not so sure why this book exists, but it was fun.

[Blerina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun and cheeky! Remember how you walk and carry yourself!

[Lorri Steinbacher · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun little book that encourages you to take a look at yourself--both inside and out, and make tweaks to be your most authentic self.

[Paige Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

A quick and delightful read sprinkled with insight and perspective. I could have skipped the Us Weekly celebrity bits but the overall takeaways were well worth the read.

[Meredith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun and frolic. He is a joyful read. Uplifting in the most no nonsense sort of way.

[Rosita Iserani · Rating 5 out of 5]

Un libro irriverente, che si legge tutto d'un fiato! È volutamente provocatorio ed eccentrico, ma il concetto di base è pienamente condivisibile: "sii, senza remore, te stesso".

[Dianne Trautmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

A pretty straight forward life advice book with a tongue in cheek delivery style. A fun quick read. Meant for someone decades younger than I am, I would guess, but a fun read nonetheless.

[Michael Conroy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Other than the 1st chapter advising the reader to think about how to dress, to reflect who you are, nothing if any great interest.