This illustrated memoir documents the author's quest to come to grips with the sad reality of his wife's terminal illness. Author and cartoonist Erik Johnson gave himself the task of plumbing the depths of his psyche, cartooning and keeping a journal en route. His goal--fifty drawings in fifty days--was an attempt to make sense of a senseless disease and ultimately find healing. During the process he discovered, and quotes liberally from, the writings of art critic Jerry Saltz whose columns in the Village Voice inspired him to reflect deeply on the role of art in both psychology and self exploration. This is an emotional journey with twists and turns and, thankfully, a surprise ending. He offers to interested readers this intimate look into his soul with a hope that others will be inspired to benefit from creative introspection.