Po pabaigos

by Clare Mackintosh

Clare Mackintosh: Ši istorija ne apie netektį, o apie viltį. Viltį dėl ateities ir gyvenimo po neišvengiamos tragedijos. Mes negalime nuspėti ateities, kai tenka priimti sunkius sprendimus, tačiau galime būti patys atsakingi už ateitį. Galime pasirinkti gyventi vėl.
Maksas ir Pipa yra pati tvirčiausia pora, kokią tik pažįstate. Jie – ir geriausi draugai, ir mylimieji. Jie nepalaužiami. Bet susirgus sūnui gydytojai jo likimo klausimą atiduoda į tėvų rankas. Tai pirmas kartas, kai Makso ir Pipos nuomonės išsiskiria. Abu skirtingai įsivaizduoja savo sūnaus ateitį.
O jeigu jie galėtų eiti abiem keliais?
Jaudinantis ir įžvalgus pasakojimas apie meilę, santuoką, tėvystę ir nepasirinktą kelią. Romanas „Po pabaigos“ vieną neužmirštamą šeimą iš nepakeliamos netekties nuves į stebinančią, sutaikinančią ir atperkančią pabaigą bei gyvenimą, kurį jai lemta surasti. Clare Mackintosh su tokia pat kaip Jodi Picoult romano „Mano sesers globėjas“ emocine jėga padeda mums suprasti, kad kartais pabaiga yra tik dar viena pradžia.
„Po pabaigos“ yra nuostabiai parašytas romanas, įtikinamas ir prikaustantis dėmesį, skaudus ir tikroviškas. Clare Mackintosh kviečia mus į širdį veriančią, vaizdingą kelionę, pasakodama vieną sunkiausių situacijų, kokioje tik gali atsidurti tėvai. Negaliu liautis apie jį galvojusi. Liane Moriarty, romano „Nekaltas melas“ autorė

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Audiobook, Thriller, Book Club, Mystery, Family

384 pages, Hardcover

First published June 25, 2019

About the author

Welcome to my Goodreads profile! Whether you're new to my work, or a hard-core fan, it's lovely to see you here. My latest book is OTHER PEOPLE'S HOUSES, the third book in my DC Ffion Morgan series. Like THE LAST PARTY and A GAME OF LIES, this is designed to be read as a standalone, but if you've followed Ffion and Leo from the beginning, I think you'll love seeing where OTHER PEOPLE'S HOUSES takes them.

If this is the first time we're meeting, welcome! In addition to the books above, I'm the author of I LET YOU GO, I SEE YOU, LET ME LIE and HOSTAGE - page-turning thrillers that have sold more than three million copies across 40 countries, and hit bestseller lists including The Sunday Times and The New York Times. I also wrote the emotional rollercoaster, AFTER THE END: a family drama about an impossible choice that threatens to tear a couple apart. It's the most personal novel I've written, and I've loved hearing from readers who have connected with it. In 2024 I released a memoir, I PROMISE IT WON'T ALWAYS HURT LIKE THIS, based on my experiences of navigating grief following the loss of my son eighteen years ago. It's a book to offer hope when you feel as though there's none to be had; a book to give to a friend when you don't know what to say.

Coming in 2026 is what I'm boldly going to tell you is my best book yet... a standalone thriller with a twist that'll knock your socks off! It's called IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK, and I would love you to add it to your shelf right now!

I love connecting with my readers, and there are plenty of ways you can get a sneak peek at what's going on behind the scenes. My Facebook group offers reading recommendations and exclusive extras to members (just search online for 'The Clare Mackintosh Book Club'), or if it's general chit chat you're after, please do follow me on Instagram, where I go to avoid writing, and to share snippets of my life in rural Wales, complete with three spaniels and Pete the goat. I'm also on TikTok, much to the dismay of my three teenagers...

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With over three million copies of her books sold worldwide, number one bestseller Clare Mackintosh is the multi-award-winning author of I Let You Go, which was a Sunday Times and New York Times bestseller and the fastest-selling title by a new crime writer in 2015. It also won the Theakston Old Peculier Crime Novel of the Year in 2016. She has since written seven more bestselling novels. Together, her books have been translated into 40 languages and spent more than sixty-five weeks in The Sunday Times bestseller lists.

Clare is patron of the Silver Star Society, a charity based at the John Radcliffe hospital in Oxford, which supports parents experiencing high-risk or difficult pregnancies.

* * *

For more information find Clare on Facebook, Instagram, Threads or TikTok at @ClareMackWrites

#ILetYouGo #ISeeYou #LetMeLie #AftertheEnd #HostageBook #TheLastParty #AGameOfLies #IPromise #OtherPeoplesHouses #ItsNotWhatYouThink

Reviews

[Nilufer Ozmekik · Rating 4 out of 5]

Three point five rounded up to four, but I still have my deep concerns about this book because this is not what I expected stars…

I know this writer is a genius. I know what she has done to me when I was reading “I Let You Go”! I talked gibberish for one week at least and lost my facial expressions. I looked like a Botox addict after her big twist punched me several times. So this is not the surprising, smartly written book I desired and wished to read!

I confessed, as soon as I read the first half of the book, I got so emotional and used all napkins and toilet paper to clear the traces of my ugly cries. I adored Max and Pip’s 3P’ed story (POWERFUL, POIGNANT, PROFOUND) about how they try to decide their sick son’s future. Should they let him go or should they resume fighting for his life?
After I read that the author faced through the same process in her real life with her husband, I was flabbergasted for a long time. My heart hurt for them. My soul cried both for her and the characters she created based on her real life.

The opening at the courtroom and their painful visits to the intensive care for their two-year-old child were heart-ripping, hard-to-digest parts of the book. This was a different kind of thriller writing. Because it is real, it is about our worst nightmares. WHAT IF something happens to our children? WHAT IF it is too late diagnosed and there is nothing to do to save your loved one! What IF your partner in crime could turn into your worst enemy because you have big conflicts to decide your child’s life!

I was about to give five stars to this incredibly emotional story. But then I started the second half of the book, and the storytelling technique definitely changed into Paltrow’s “Sliding Door”movie crossover “Two Lila Bennetts”book kind of two alternative universes.
At one of them, the judge sides with the father; at the other one, he decides to side with the mother. I was intrigued by the different consequences and their new paths they’d have to follow. But at those parts, the author lost me! Because different realities slowed the pace down, and too many dramatic, soap opera-kind of revelations disturbed me.

The ending didn’t satisfy me. I was waiting more because the elements of the story are strong, well-rounded; the characters were also well-developed, strong, and the writing was solid.

In my opinion, the author’s big trauma affected her decision about ending the story. I respected her decision because this book might be a way to say goodbye to her child and make peace with her bottled-up depressing feelings, her emotional turmoil, her suffering, her cries, and broken heart.

I was planning to give three stars to this book. But I hit my hand(actually, I bite my fingers, too) to stop myself and asked myself what the hell I was doing? I know this is not the book I waited for, but if it’s the best way for the author to share her feelings by ripping a wounded piece from her heart and pouring her insecurities without giving a second thought, it are the bravest things that not many people can manage.

So for her tough move to write about something more hurting than Achilles Tendon Pain and the amazing first half of the book, I gave her four stars, shut my mouth. My emotional side overshadowed my intellectual brain, and I know this was the right and best thing to do. Agree or disagree? We turn back to the same dilemma of this book.

[Deanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

My reviews can also be seen at: https://deesradreadsandreviews.wordpr...

4.5 Stars!!

"After the End" was a novel Clare Mackintosh had been wanting to write for more than a decade. Twelve years ago, Clare and her husband had to make an extremely difficult decision. Ever since they have questioned whether or not they made the right choice.

I knew this was going to be quite different from the author's previous novels, but I was excited to read it.

I thought this was an excellent read!

Parents often have to make tough decisions. Occasionally, they may have to make what seems like an impossible decision. “After the End” does an excellent job of showing what the outcome might be for both sides of an incredibly hard decision.

The book opens with everyone in a courtroom, waiting for a ruling that will change many lives.

For the last year, Max and Pip have been made many trips to the hospital with their two-year-old son, Dylan. After multiple treatments and surgery, Dylan should’ve been getting better. However, they had to return to the hospital and now Dylan has been in the pediatric intensive care unit (PICU) for quite some time.

Pip and Max often torture themselves with "What ifs". What if they’d noticed symptoms sooner? What if they had trusted their instincts? etc...

Dylan’s doctor tells Max and Pip that she needs to speak with them. The news she gives leaves them with an impossible decision to make.

It’s a decision they may not be able to agree on.

Wow. What an incredible read!

Most of the story is told from Pip and Max perspectives, but we also hear from Dylan's doctor. Dr. Khalili works hard for the children she treats. We see how difficult it is being the person who often has to give bad news, and how hard it is to not get emotionally involved with patients and family members.

As I read I constantly wondered what I would do if I was in a similar situation. People cope in many different ways.

“After the End” was a uniquely written and thought-provoking novel. I was a little confused at first when reading the "After" chapters but once I caught on it all made sense. I was gripped by this heart-wrenching read.

I was prepared for an emotional read but this story hit me harder than I expected. This is not a novel I will soon forget.



I'd like to thank G.P. Putnam's Sons for providing me with an advanced copy of this novel. All opinions are my own.

[Dorie - Cats&Books :) · Rating 4 out of 5]

***NOW AVAILABLE***

This was an incredibly hard book to read and an even harder book to review. I have waited a few days to let my thoughts settle and have decided to try and write this review to help others decide if it’s something they would like to read.

I had read Ms. Macintosh’s thrillers and really loved them. I knew what this book was about but it was more thought provoking and heartbreaking than I had imagined. As you know from the blurb, two young parents disagree on the decision of whether to continue life support to their young 3 year old son. Dylan has a brain tumor which was partially resected, now growing back. It has damaged his brain beyond repair and he will never be able to walk, talk, communicate his needs and there is no hope for further improvement.

As a reader I felt that the first half of the book was stronger. We follow Pip and Max as they struggle to come to terms with the fact that their beloved son will never grow to be a normal child, never be able to lead any semblance of a normal life. Then they must make a decision that no parent should ever have to make. Their relationship and marriage are well outlined and I felt as though these character were very well described. I felt my heart ache for both of them.

The author has been through this trial, she lost one of her twin babies more than a decade ago. Perhaps this is why the hospital scenes feel so real, raw and heartbreaking. From a statement by the author: “A key location for AFTER THE END is an Intensive Care Unit. Twelve years ago I spent four months in ICU with my newborn twins. Writing the scenes set in hospital was easy because everything feels still so vivid and clear, all these years later. The beeps and whirrs of the machines, the fluorescent lighting, the smell of the anti-bac gel...a sensory overload I translated into words.”

The second half of the book gives us two possible court decisions and what Pip and Max’s life might be like after either decision, to take Dylan off of life support or to allow his father to take him to the US for a type of radiation treatment.

The second half of the book was a much slower read for me. Much of the dialogue seemed repetitive from one thread to the other and at times it was difficult to follow the back and forth between the two separate scenarios. I think I would have preferred one outcome to be established with the reader left with the thought of “what if the ruling had gone the other way?”

I can definitely recommend this book but warn that there are some very descriptive elements of severely ill children which may be hard for some people to read. It is well written and covers a subject which is very pertinent in our world of ever increasing technological developments in the medical field.

This book is set to publish on June 25, 2019.
This was a Traveling Sisters read.

I received an ARC of this novel from the publisher through Edelweiss. This was a Traveling Sisters read.

[Emily (Books with Emily Fox on Youtube) · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is not a mystery/thriller!

Holy boredom. Look I went into this thinking it was the same genre as the other books from the author but it's a contemporary. I don't know why others have categorized it otherwise but it definitely didn't help me enjoy this.

Two parents can't agree about what to do with their terminally ill child. One wants to try more treatment no matter what, the other to let them go. They go to court and the second half of the book shows you the different outcome.

An interesting format but the first half was much better than the second, especially since my favorite character wasn't present anymore. I didn't end up caring about the characters as much as I hoped which left me feeling heartless and apathetic.

Not for me.

[Kaceey · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ All five heartbreaking stars
This was such an emotional read. So much so, I actually thought of walking away after only the very first chapter. I just didn’t think I could endure the journey. I left it for the night and in the morning, took a deep breathe, told myself “buck-up, you’re stronger than this!” I tapped my kindle to start chapter 2 and I’m so very glad I did.

“You cannot feel grief without first feeling love, and now my heart is filled with both.”

Pip and Max need to face the hardest decision of their lives. Their son Dylan has an incurable brain tumor. With choices limited, the physicians recommend palliative care, to allow their dear son to pass with dignity. But another option found is a groundbreaking treatment half-way across the world. And it may give Dylan just a little more time. But at what cost?

How do they make such a soul-searching decision? Quality of life vs quantity. At the end of the day will they be able to live with their decision and its consequences?

“I can’t have both lives, I can only live this one.”

Clare Mackintosh writes such an emotionally charged, heart-wrenching novel that will surely linger in your heart long after you’ve read the last word. As I closed my kindle late at night, I sat quietly in the dark just reflecting... I know this book will stay with me for a very long time.

An emotional buddy read with Susanne

Thank you to Edelweiss, G.P. Putnam's Sons and Clare Mackintosh for an ARC to read and review

[Lindsay L · Rating 5 out of 5]

5+ stars!

Heart-wrenching. Thought-provoking. Emotion-stirring. This has earned a spot on my Favourites List.

One of the most emotional, hard hitting and gut wrenching books I’ve ever read. Pip and Max face a decision that is every parents worst nightmare. Whether to continue treatment for their brain damaged, critically ill two-year-old son or take him off life support to end his suffering. How can one choose? What happens when the parents don’t agree on the decision?

I am emotionally exhausted after finishing this gripping, thought-provoking novel. Never have I ever used so many Kleenex to wipe away tears while reading a book. The author, Clare Mackintosh, does an outstanding job pulling the reader into this unimaginable, heart breaking situation. I felt as if I were there in the hospital room with these characters.

The story is narrated through both Pip and Max’s perspectives, along with their sons’ doctors’ perspective, which were all brilliantly executed. I put myself in each perspective and felt torn and gutted for what they were facing as parents and the doctor. At times, the story had me sobbing uncontrollably to the point that I had to put the book down and take an emotional rest. To say I was invested in this families’ journey is putting it lightly. I was full-out emotionally connected, hanging on every word, hold my breathe and clench my teeth in anticipation of what was to come, choke back sobs in sadness. I felt EVERYTHING alongside these characters.

This is a major change of pace novel for this author who writes thrillers. What a feat for her to successfully transition into such a serious and emotional genre. I’m in awe of her talent and look forward to what she comes out with next!

Thank you to Edelweiss and my lovely local library for a copy of this unforgettable book!

[*TUDOR^QUEEN* · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to Putnam's Sons / Penguin Publishing Group for providing an advance reader copy via Edelweiss.

The premise of this book lured me in immediately. The story takes place in England where they have the National Health Service (NHS). The parents of almost three year old Dylan Adams, who has a cancerous brain tumor, are just told that the hospital recommends no further treatment; just comfort (palliative) care. The mother has accepted that devastating assessment, but the father insists on further medical intervention in the United States. It must go to court for a judge to determine the outcome. As the story begins, the parents are sitting separately with their legal teams in court awaiting the judge's decision. A chasm between Pip and Max Adams has existed ever since they parted ways on Dylan's medical treatment plan. However, seconds before the judge renders his verdict, they inch their way closer...ultimately holding hands.

The author Clare Mackintosh prefaces the book with the revelation that she and her husband had to make this same decision in 2006 when they withdrew life support from their critically ill son. To this day, they still question their decision, and this informs the themes explored in this book.

The book was written in quite a fascinating way. It's narrated in dueling chapters from the perspectives of Pip Adams (mother), Max Adams (father), and Dr. Leila Khalili (Dylan's physician). But when the judge reaches his decision, the book takes off in two different tangents that leave you momentarily disconcerted. Quite unexpectedly, both decisions, their medical outcomes, and effects on their marriage- are explored, in the same dueling narratives from Pip and Max (and occasionally Dr. Leila Khalili). At times I would get a bit thrown off as to which outcome I was reading, but it just took seconds to adjust and get grounded again. Both outcomes were brilliantly explored and left me in amazement at how life can play out. The moral of the story is, that no matter what decision you would make, you would always be second guessing yourself if you made the right one.

Final thoughts: Thought-provoking, poignant, exquisitely/masterfully written, marathon page turner. I will be looking out for other books by this author based on this excellent read. Highly recommended.

[JanB · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a nightmare to be told your child is terminal with no hope of recovery. How can you make decisions when every cell in your body doesn’t want to let your precious child die, but regardless of the decisions made, your child will die. It’s just a matter of when. What makes a life worth living? Who decides?

The dilemma of such a heartbreaking decision is one the author and her husband faced after their infant son had a massive brain hemorrhage. It’s obvious she’s intimately familiar with the subject matter and the first half of the book is powerful and deeply resonates.

Unlike what happened to the author, the fictional couple in this novel don’t agree on how to manage and treat their son’s illness so the courts must intervene and make a decision to continue treatment or let him go. The author did a magnificent job detailing the emotional and physical toll on everyone when a child is critically ill. It made me think about my own beliefs and wonder what I would do when there is not one “right” choice. I liked how the author brought in the power of the press and social media along with the public’s rush to judgment without knowing all the facts.

However, I could have done without the Dr’s POV. I didn’t think it added anything relevant to the story as it was more about her personal life, not her medical judgement, and it felt like filler.

The second half of the book is, as the title suggests, after. After the judge makes a decision, the author explores two different outcomes: one in which the judge sides with the mother, and one in which the judge sides with the father. It was thought-provoking to examine the ramifications and consequences of either decision. I’m certain anyone who has made such a heart-wrenching decision has moments of doubt and wondering “what-if”. I had them with my elderly parents and know they would be even stronger when it's your child.

From here, the narrative alternates between two alternate realities. I found it difficult to follow at first because the characters were the same, but I soon fell into the rhythm of the story-telling. Unfortunately, as intriguing as the premise is to examine two different outcomes, the story became predictable chick-lit and eye-rolling unbelievable. I would have preferred the story been as nuanced with emotional depth in the last half, as it was in the first half. Another buddy read with Marialyce, this was a solid 5 star book in the first half, downgraded to a 3.

Many thanks to the publisher and Edelweiss for a copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.
For our duo review please visit: https://yayareadslotsofbooks.wordpres...

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this as a paper arc from Goodreads back in spring, but it’s taken me until now to read it. It’s not an easy book. Whether you’re a parent or not, you can’t help but be drawn in by this incredibly sad story of two parents dealing with their three year old son’s brain cancer. It will have you thinking what would you do in the same situation.

The book would make a fascinating book club discussion, because the parents do not agree on what to do once traditional treatments fail. “I thought about what makes a life a life.” I will freely admit to being on the side of quality not quantity. But, if it were my child, would I be able to make that same pledge, to be that selfless?

Mackintosh takes a turn with the novel I didn’t see coming. Once we get to the court’s ruling, we begin to get two alternative storylines. They alternate between Max and Pip, between a yes and a no ruling. And what I loved is that both sides have regrets, at times think they made the wrong decision.

Mackintosh knows of what she writes. In 2006, she faced a similar situation, when she and her husband had to decide the fate of their young son who had developed meningitis and had significant brain damage.

This is a poignant book. But as Mackintosh herself says, it’s a story about hope not loss.

[Brenda ~The Sisters~Book Witch · Rating 5 out of 5]

It took me a while to find the courage to read After The End. When I did, I read it when the house was quiet and it was mostly just me at home so I could be left alone with my thoughts for this one. Once I started, I read it in less than 24 hours and it was all I thought about for a while. Then, it took me a while to find the courage to write this review and then longer to find the words to write.

After The End is a heartbreaking, painful issue-driven story that explores an unthinkable, impossible and unimaginable decision with no right answers, our main characters here parents Pip and Max are left to make after their son Dylan is diagnosed with a brain tumour.

There is nothing more painful than seeing your child not well, nothing more terrifying then the fear of losing them and knowing you have to comes to terms with you might lose them or the unimaginable losing them. You can lose who you are in all that pain. Clare Mackintosh compassionately explores all of this in this unforgettable, emotionally powered story that deeply moved me.

In the first half of the story, Clare Mackintosh explores the raw, honest, heart-wrenching emotions through parents Pip and Max. The second half then explores two different outcomes after the end from their POV. I struggled a bit with the credibility of Max's after the end POV, but it did not take away from the power of this story at all. The story comes together well and I loved the way it wrapped up. Clare Mackintosh gave me hope and some closure to my own regrets, decisions, judgements made towards me and my mistakes as a parent leaving me with some peace with it all.

“Everyone has an opinion, yet the truth is that no one can really know what is right. No one can predict the future, and so all we can do is make a decision based on the facts we have, and—sometimes on what our heart tells us.”

The most beautiful thing here is this story is the hope and strength I could feel throughout the book right to the very end. Not only hope after a loss but the hope that the choices we make are the right ones and that we can find peace through our bravery, compassion, hope, dignity, and the power of our hearts and we can find who we are again.

I received a copy from the publisher on EW.

[Jayme C (Brunetteslikebookstoo) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh, I hope I can do this beautiful book justice!


This is the story of Max and Pip- two parents who love each other but who love their son Dylan more.

Dylan has a tumor which could not be completely removed, and it is growing again. His brain damage is irreparable, and if he lives, he will not walk or talk, or be able to communicate his needs.


Max and Pip must decide if they should explore a treatment which will NOT cure him, but MAY extend his life..or allow the Doctors to provide only comfort care and allow him to die.

Each has a different thought on what is right, so the court must decide.

This is issue driven fiction at its finest!

Although Clare Mackintosh is known for her three outstanding suspense novels, previously, she has wanted to write THIS story for more than a decade.

The reason: She and her husband had to make this IMPOSSIBLE decision, twelve years ago. Parents in this situation will forever question if they have made the right choice...

The novel introduces you to this loving family, walking the same path until they reach that fork in the road, where the court must decide.


Then it uses the "sliding doors" approach to finish the novel, where it explores the outcome of each path-the one in which the court rules in favor of Max-and what he feels is the right decision for his son vs. the course of action which Pip feels is right, and what might transpire if the court rules in her favor.

I became lost in their story, and I finished with tears streaming down my face, but in the best possible way!

Though I felt each parent's pain, and fear, and doubt, in the author's own words.."this is not a story about loss, but about hope. Hope for the future, for a life beyond an unavoidable tragedy."

I felt that hope too.....as the book ends on a POSITIVE note, not a sad one..no matter which parent you side with, and despite the difficult subject of a toddler who is dying.

Perhaps only someone who has experienced this could tackle this subject with the sensitivity and understanding required. Although many married couples do not survive the loss of a child, this story does hope to share the message that you"can shape the years that follow, and choose to live again."



I would like to thank Edelweiss for the digital ARC I received in exchange for a candid review. And, to thank Claire Mackintosh for sharing her experience in this work of fiction. This title will be available June 25, 2019! Pre-order today!

[Scarlett Readz and Runz....Through Novel Time & Distance · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tragic. I am mush. My heart is aching 💔. This book is gut-wrenching and incredibly compelling. Experience all the feels stretched beyond the limits you ever thought possible....it will bring you to your knees just reading the story.
Mackintosh wrote this novel undoubtedly insightful with uttermost care yet as real as it ever could be.
THIS will go on my 5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ book list of 2019.

My time of reading any kind of self-help books has gained interest and flourished in my twenties, peaked for a few years then diluted with life and by now has long gone. If to gain information about a subject matter, feel better equipped to deal with challenges, gain perspective, reflect and meditate positively over life's big questions they have been a great source of encouragement and support.

Swimming through the pond called life, finding purpose and settling down hopefully goes smooth sailing if you have conquered some of the usual highs and lows of growing up....until you come upon a cross-road, AKA a punch in the gut, a life-altering occurrence, a devastating threat, loss or change. Until this happens, you just never know how much and in what way such a blow can impact your life and entire being. There isn't a way to ever be fully prepared no matter how many books you have read to do so.

In the case of this novel, it is about a happy young family life broken by a cancerous tumor, a brain tumor in Pip and Max's almost three-year-old son Dylan. As if the disbelief, long months at the ICU and surgeries weren't enough, given the circumstances, Dylan's prognosis isn't well.

Pip and Max are an amazing couple. He is from the US, she from England. They met on a plane, settled in England, are best friends, deeply in love, worked out their work schedules and happily created their little home and family.

Working through their son's illness and processing the situation differently, they are confronted to make a decision about Dillan's life at a crossroad, they end up disagreeing about the future care of their son.

After The End reads in alternating views of Pip, Max and the treating doctors. Nothing short of devastating, the journey of Dillan's life and or care is told in each of their perspectives from beginning to end. The joys, struggles, hopes, their memories of happy times and sad moments are captivatingly told. At times too much to take.

Dylan's life is in the hands of his parents. Either he is to be left in peace in palliative care until the end as the doctors suggest or undergo a private, very expensive treatment in a special facility in the US.

Both parents want the best for their child, but that may mean something different to each of them. Both of them are torn, hurt, worried, sleep-deprived, edgy and their different opinions put a big wedge into their relationship. They can't find peace in the other's proposed decision. A judge is to declare the fate of their son after hearing the brief presentations of different treatment options by specialists.

Cleverly, the novel continues here in alternate outcomes. After The End is an amazing way to demonstrate the situation from all different angles in different scenarios. Sadly, the extremely strenuous situation is often too much for a couple's relationship. This would certainly parallel with other difficult circumstances and the novel shows the unravel of a relationship and life in such delicate and painful steps, it is simply heartbreaking.

After The End continues with a different tone at midway through. I agree with other readers that the first part was absolutely excellent of a novel, perhaps better than the rest, but I stand by my high rating as a whole because that second part of the book focuses on the actual unravel/undoing of the life of the parents. A closer look afforded into the shattered hearts and minds of Pip and Max as individuals.

A message to the reader is easily understood, a stance can be taken for either parent. Life isn't black or white, nothing is ever positively only one way solvable. The repercussions of the road not taken vs the one taken brings forth questions, regret...maybe understanding? Love and life endures and continues, perhaps in different ways. Maybe there's a breaking point of being: at the one before and the one after.

Either way, this novel reached me deeply and is hitting too close to home. Perhaps because I have been at difficult crossroads before, but certainly because I know I will be facing huge medical decisions of a loved one with a very rare genetic disease. This may have influenced my thinking, or perhaps I stumbled upon this novel at the right time and will draw from it when that time comes. There is always the knowledge and certainty, even if it seems unfair at that time, that life all around will continue and pass by while not a soul around you knows your pain and struggles. And individually we all grieve differently and at different rates of time. Mackintosh's story of Pip and Max was as real as it ever could be to me.

If you can handle such a stirring, emotional, raw novel, then please give it a try. It is nothing short of moving through and through.

More of my reviews here:
https://scarlettreadzandrunz.com/

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whenever I read a book by Claire Mackintosh I know to clear my day and get comfortable,as I will not be able to put her book down and won’t be disappointed!!

Max and Pippa have a son Dylan who they adore. Sadly Dylan is diagnosed as having a brain tumour ,which couldn’t be removed during surgery and caused brain damage which will leave him unable to walk or talk.

Max and Pippa have the dreadful decision whether to opt for further treatment which may lengthen his life but not cure him or to allow doctors to give him palliative care till he dies.

This decision is hard enough but when Max and Pippa’s decisions are not the same, they have to let the courts decide. Their relationship is stretched to breaking point at a time when they should be there for one other.

This is such a beautifully written book, I was drawn into this book from the first page and had a Massive lump in my throat whilst reading this emotional story. This sensitive topic was dealt with compassion and understanding and left me with a tear in my eye.

A must read book that will tug at anyone’s heartstrings and reminds us all never to give up hope no matter what. You cannot help thinking what would you have done in this scenario!!

Thank you to Netgalley for my copy in exchange for a review.

[Susanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars

A family torn apart during an impossible time. Palliative care or alternative treatment? That is the question.

Max and Pip’s three year old son Dylan is sick. He has cancer and has developed an inoperable brain tumor. His doctor in London recommends palliative care, to which his mother, Pip agrees and his father, Max does not - as he would like Dylan to get alternative treatment at a facility in Houston, Texas.

Seeing as neither parent can come to an agreement it is up to the court to decide, leaving Max and Pip’s facing an impossible situation.

Here, through Claire McIntosh’s brilliant writing, we see the two perspectives written in alternating chapters as if the court had decided both ways, for Pip Adam, allowing Dylan to receive Palliative care, then for Max Adams, allowing Dylan to receive alternative treatment.

This novel is highly emotional and it put me through the ringer. There is no easy decision here and yet I cannot imagine allowing the court to make that decision for me, even though I have seen the court make decisions like this throughout the course of my life.

I listened to this audiobook on a road trip and will admit to sobbing at times while in my car - I cannot imagine what passerby’s must have thought of me. Admittedly, I felt more for Pip than Max. I found Max to be selfish and just wanted to shake him.. and yet at the end of the novel I had a better grasp as to where he was coming from.

“After the End” was a truly emotional read which I thoroughly enjoyed. I listened to this novel while Kaceey read it and was so grateful to share this buddy read with her! Thank you again Kaceey!

Thank you to Edelweiss, G.P. Putnam & Suns & Penguin Publishing Sons and to Claire McIntosh for the arc.

Published on Edelweiss and Goodreads on 10.26.19.

[Louise Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Max and Pip have a toddler called Dylan. Sadly he has been diagnosed with a brain tumour, of which surgeons could not remove all off. Then they are given the devastating news that the Timor is growing again. There is nothing more the surgeons can do but give him palliative care and make sure that he is pain free. Max, not wanting to give up on his son, researches the disease hoping to find a cure for his son. He finds that it can be treated in America. But first he has to take the hospital to court so that they will keep Dylan alive until they get to America.

This book reminded me so much about Charlie Gard, a young boy from England, whose parents fought to keep their young son alive so that he could get treatment in America. My heart was on my sleeve reading the first half of this book. I couldn't get through it quick enough. The second half has a duel storyline. The first being Pip's scenario, she just wants the plait ive care for her son. She did not want to see him suffer any longer than necessary. Max's story is where the court grants him his wish to take Dylan to America to receive treatment. The scenarios are told in alternating chapters and at times, this was quite confusing. Through they are both written about beautifully. If the author has stuck to one conclusion this would definitely have been a 5⭐️ read.

I would like to thank NetGalley, Little brown Book Group UK and the author Clare Mackintosh for my ARC In exchange for an honest review.

[Kat · Rating 4 out of 5]

AFTER THE END is beautifully written and quite a tear-jerker. Told from three perspectives. What do you do when your child is catastrophically sick and there may not be reasonable hope of recovery? When the government (NHS) steps in to decide whether further treatment is warranted or Pip and Max’s child can be flown to America for an experimental procedure that may prolong his life, it drives a wedge into their marriage. Dylan is not yet three, but has gone through surgery and six rounds of chemo for a brain tumor that have caused lasting brain damage.

Paralyzed from the neck down, on a constant cocktail of pain meds, unable to communicate, perform bodily functions or breathe on his own, now the tumor is back… and what happens when one parent believes he should be allowed to go into hospice, and the other wants to put him through more rounds of treatment?

I’ll be honest… this was a tough read in places. I really enjoyed the author’s writing, but be warned… have a warm cup of cocoa, cookies, a cat in your lap, and a rom-com waiting on Netflix to decompress afterwards. Told in two alternative timelines, we see the what-if scenarios. One where what would have happened had Dylan gotten the treatment played out, the other where time advanced had he not. It progresses past the point of Dylan’s treatment, following the effects on the marriage of Pip and Max (again, zero bright spots in this one, though I have to commend the author on how well researched and realistic this is). It was a tough read, but I ate up every bit of it for the skill and execution of the writing.

Trigger Warnings: cancer, death of child, infidelity, loss of marriage, grief, depression

[Liz Barnsley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't even know where to start with a review at the moment - reading this so early gives me the opportunity to not have to say too much as yet so nearer publication I will attempt to write a full review and make it count.

I can't even begin to imagine what it took to write this but After The End is incredible. Just that. The sheer weight of emotion in it is astounding, beautiful even in heartache and it offers a perspective and ultimately a choice for the reader that makes you think, really think about the toughest life choices.

Probably one thing that should be said, just because of expectations, is that "After The End " is not a psychological thriller, it's not like anything you will have read from Clare before - but this is a book that brings right to the forefront, her amazing talent, her ability to vividly show all the light, the dark, the nuance of human emotion. It is incredibly personal and touches your soul on the most basic level.

I won't forget this one.

[Debra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Parenting is hard. I think every parent might have experienced time in the upbringing of their child where they do not agree upon something with the child's other parent be it, curfew, discipline, when to have a cell phone, etc. But what happens when you are faced with the ultimate decision? What happens when your child gets sick? When your child has a terminal disease. Do you prolong his life to only face the inevitable? Do you allow him to pass away with comfort and care? How do you decide? How would you?

This book explores what happens when a married couple, Pip and Max, who love each other and love their child, Dylan, but cannot agree on what to do. As they cannot decide, the courts must step in and make a decision that is in their son's best interest.

The second half of the book explores what would happen if the judge decides for both parents. If he decides in the Mother's favor, what lies in store for their son and for each parent. If the Judge runs in the Father's favor, what lies in store for their son and each parent. This was an interesting concept but also a repetitive one.

An interesting twist is that this book also focuses on the child's doctor who is emotionally affected by Dylan's case as well.

I enjoyed the first half of the book much more than the second half. As I mentioned the second half was repetitive at times but did show the sad ways that a child's death can affect a couple. Not only the child's death but what happens when two people cannot agree on something. How it can wear on them, their relationship and those in their lives. Many couples and marriages do not last after the loss of a child. What will happen to this one?

This is a thought-provoking book which may be difficult for some to read. Even sadder is that the Author herself, lost a child. While reading this book, I often wondered if this was an emotionally challenging book to write or if it was a cathartic experience.

This was a traveling sister read.

Thank you to the publisher and Edelweiss who provided me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review. All the thoughts and opinions are my own.

[NZLisaM · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jodi Picoult fans, eat your heart out!

When it comes to writing a compelling, engaging, insightful story, Claire Mackintosh can do no wrong in my book, and even though I knew going in that this was going to be completely different from her usual domestic suspense thrillers (which I love) I was still desperate for the chance to read it.

After the End is the story of a terminally-ill toddler with multiple deliberating disabilities. Dylan is not yet three years-old but as the result of a brain injury is paralysed from the neck down, unable to communicate or swallow, unlikely to have any awareness of his surroundings, and without medication would be in constant pain. His parents are forced to make a decision no parents should ever have to make – stop all treatment, except pain relief, and allow him to die, or opt for an experimental treatment that may extend his life. With mother and father on opposing sides it's up to the courts to decide.

Before incorporated the days leading up to, and directly following, Dylan's parents receiving the devastating news that his tumor had grown to such an extent that they needed to make a decision regarding his future treatment. We were offered three differing, equally valuable perspectives – mother (Pip), father (Max) and one of the consultants looking after Dylan (Dr. Leila Khalili).

Clare Mackintosh did an incredible job of showing what life is like in the PICU (Pediatric Intensive Care Unit) section of the hospital – the day-to-day, and overall struggles of dealing and coping with a severely ill child, the support system including medical staff, and other parents in the ward, and the environment, treatment, and equipment. Glimpses into what Dylan was like when he was healthy, and when he first started developing symptoms gave us an overall picture of life before, and Dylan's personality. Max and Pip's resilience and love for each other, and the effects on their relationship and marriage was evident throughout. But at its core of course was their all encompassing love for their son.

The After section of the novel used dual POV's (Pip and Max) and parallel-timelines to show the different directions their lives might've gone in, depending on the Judge's ruling. This format didn't work as well for me as the first half, as things became somewhat repetitive, but I understand what the author was trying to achieve, and appreciated being given both outcomes of such an agonising decision. Even though I knew logically that neither option was going to end favourably for little Dylan, in my heart of hearts I would've been left wondering “what if?" so to be offered up both timelines gave me a sense of closure I wouldn't have gotten otherwise. The only other small issue I had with the last half was that I dearly missed Leila's viewpoint – she was a wonderful character that I would've liked to have heard more from.

Even though I personally prefer her thrillers, Clare Mackintosh has penned something truly special in this moving story of love, loss, guilt, grieving and hope.

I'd like to thank Netgalley UK. Little Brown Book Group UK – Sphere, and Clare Mackintosh for the e-ARC.

US/UK Release Date: 25th June, 2019.

[Maureen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A departure from her usual crime/thriller books, Clare MacKintosh has written an emotional, heart wrenching, brilliant novel about a family, Pip, Max, and their son, Dylan. Dylan, 2 1/2, becomes gravely ill, and Pip and Max end up on opposite sides regarding his treatment. It ends up being decided for them in a court of law.
This is a sad story, but also a beautiful one, touching on very difficult issues.
5 stars

[Marialyce · Rating 3 out of 5]

So many people, including this author have lost a child. It is a heart wrenching experience that one never truly recovers from. Your heart is broken, your life is empty, and for some the trauma of this breaks apart everything they held dear and loved and such was the case with the protagonists of the book After the End.

Pip and Max are a successful couple. They have a firm marriage and a son they adore. Life seems wonderful until fate deals them a card that is devastating and cruel. For their son, Dylan has cancer of the brain. He is a young child, just on the cusp of experiencing the joys of being loved, of living a wonderful life, and knowing that he had a family who adored him. The diagnosis is a nightmare and although Dylan is operated on, the prognosis is not good and then the worst happens the tumor grows.

This was, for the first half of the book, one that caused the tears to freely flow as you accompany Pip and Max on this journey through hell. How can they reconcile the love and need for their son when in reality things seem to point to his demise. This part of their story was so well done. You could feel the sorrow, experience the pain, and pray along with them that things would get better. It was truly a journey that many have traveled and it's one you hope and pray you will never know.

However, when I got to the second half of the story things seemed to fall apart as the story seemed disjointed and some things that occurred just didn't make sense. It was in this section of the story, that I became disappointed. I wasn't sure of what the author was trying to say and where she was taking me. Was she trying to say that marriages, even ones overflowing with love, never survive a crisis such as a loss of a child? Was she trying to say that life goes on, but perhaps not in the way you had first envisioned it to be? I am not sure. As the telling jumped from the various scenarios, I found myself sometimes at a loss as to who or what this chapter was about. There were also characters who appeared and while should have been a relevant part of the story really weren't developed into the tale.

However, the fact that this author could sit down and pen a book like this after the loss of her own son shows great courage and hopefully the writing of this tale was a catharsis for her. I only wish that the second part of this book was as strong and emotionally gripping as the first part of this story.
This was another story Jan and I shared. We came to the same conclusion about this story, and while we so empathized with what the author experienced, we so wished that the second part of this story could have been like the first.
Thanks are extended to edelweiss who forwarded a copy of this book to me.
Our duo reviews can be seen here: http://yayareadslotsofbooks.wordpress...

[Pauline · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have read and enjoyed all of Clare Mackintosh's previous books and was delighted to receive a copy of her latest book After the End.
This story is unlike any of her other books. This is a story of a family in crises, a sad emotional tale of a terminally ill child and the choice that his parents have to make for his future. A thought provoking story that made me think of what I would do in their shoes.
Thank you to NetGalley and Little, Brown Book Group UK for my e-copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Gary · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this book up purely because I had recently read a couple of really good psychological thrillers by the same author. However as I started reading it I was surprised that it was so different to the previous books I had read by her. This is a book must have been so difficult for her to write as it is a subject which is close to her and must have been a very difficult time of her life. Presumably her own story compelled her to write 'After the End'.
In the story Pip and Max have to contemplate whether they should terminate the life of their terminally ill son, Dylan. Dylan is three years old and is ill with cancer which has left him with brain damage and the medical staff can do no more for him. It is an impossible decision Max and Pip face but a decision that will ultimately change their lives forever. An impossible decision is made worse when they both want different outcomes forcing the need to put the case to the courts.

The book relates alternative scenarios to show the possible outcomes of either decision, Pips preference of switching off the machines keeping Dylan alive or Max's choice of seeking advanced medication in America, potentially prolonging everyone's suffering by keeping him alive to die peacefully.
I found this an hard book to read so I can fully understand how hard it must have been to write. I did consider stopping when I realised what the book was about but it was so well written I just had to read more. Avery good read but not suitable for everyone I am sure.

[Carrie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lot of folks are calling After the End by Clare Mackintosh a mystery or a thriller but I didn’t get either vibe from this one but maybe more perhaps just general fiction or a tad drama. The story is one in which parents are caring for a sick child, not searching for a missing one.

Max and Pip are a young married couple that thought they had everything going for. Very much in love and with a wonderful son things were good until one day they were’t. These parents get the most devastating news when they find Dylan has a brain tumor.

As with any parent out there Max and Pip only want what is best for their son but after the terminal prognosis they are given a choice on Dylan’s care and the couple cannot agree on what would be the best decision. When Max and Pip come to a stale mate the court is brought in to be the deciding factor.

I have previously read a few of Clare Mackintosh’s thrillers and had really enjoyed them so awesome writing was to be expected as usual. The thing with this one is it is a completely depressing subject and hard to “love”. It also didn’t help that the second half tackles the what if of both choices and becomes somewhat repetitive. I do think this was worth the read as it’s certainly thought provoking but readers need to beware of the sad and heavy subject matter.

I received an advance copy from the publisher via Edelweiss.

For more reviews please visit https://carriesbookreviews.com/

[Sharon · Rating 4 out of 5]

When their son, Dylan, is diagnosed with a terminal illness, Max and Pip are confronted with making a life changing decision something that no parent should ever have to do. But what happens when Max and Pip are unable to reach an agreement on a decision. It appears that what used to be a loving and happy family is now being ripped apart.

After The End by Clare Macintosh is a moving and heart-wrenching story. Highly recommended.

[Kristy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Max and Pip have a deep, untenable bond and a strong marriage that they feel is sealed by fate. But when their nearly three-year-old son, Dylan, gets sick, everything they know changes. Dylan has a brain tumor, and now Pip spends her days in the PICU, while Max tries to juggle work and being strong for his wife and child. Then, the couple receives the worst of all news: the chemo isn't helping Dylan's tumor, and the doctors feel Dylan's condition is terminal. Suddenly, Max and Pip find themselves on opposite sides--each wanting different medical treatment for their beloved boy.

Clare Mackintosh offers us a beautiful, poignant, and heartbreaking book based on her life experiences, having lost her own son. Knowing this makes the book even more tender and real, as each word is based on a kernel of truth. Reading this book isn't always easy--as a parent, my heart digested these words and put myself in the shoes of Max and Pip. This book makes you think, and it makes you so incredibly grateful for your own life, wanting to snuggle your own children and hold them dear.

"How can my son be a breath away from death, when evidence of his life is all around me? When I feel him in my heart, as surely as when I carried him in my womb?"

The story is one of loss, yes, but it's also a love story: Max and Pip, Dylan and his family, and more. We are introduced to Dylan's family and also to Dylan's doctor, Leila, whom I really liked. Leila has her own struggles. Her mom, Habibeh, is visiting, but won't leave the house, preferring to watch QVC and cook endlessly for her daughter. (Habibeh is a trip; she's awesome.) The decision of Dylan's fate falls on Leila's shoulders first: a lot for a young doctor to bear. We get the story through her eyes and then each of Dylan's parents. As a mom, I felt drawn to Pip, but I liked how we got both Pip and Max's perspectives. Each only wants what is best for their son--and, at first, each feels they are doing the right thing.

"However long you spend with someone, however well you think you know them, they can still be a stranger to you."

Mackintosh is best known for her thrillers, and, this book is just as well-written as those. And, interestingly enough, she throws in a bit of a twist here, too. I won't spoil it, per se, but will tell you that this book is a fascinating exploration of choices, allowing you to think about life and the various paths that everyone can take. It's a sad book, yes, but lovely too--a tribute to parents, medical professionals, and to the children we love so much. It's a reminder to cherish those we hold dear and that life can be short but beautiful, no matter which way it may turn out.

Overall, even though I found this difficult to read at times, I'm really glad I did. I was reminded, yet again, what a good writer Clare Mackintosh is. I'm so incredibly sorry she lost her son, and I'm in such awe that she could turn that loss into such a lovely book. I highly recommend this--it's a beautiful exploration of life's different paths and what fate can bring us.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher and Edelweiss in return for an unbiased review (thank you!). 4.5 stars.

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[*TANYA* · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, just WOW!!! I’m an emotional wreck and I love it!!! I wish just this once I had the right words to convey how heart wrenching and different and fantastic and tragic and redeeming this book was to me. My heart aches and my tear ducts need a rest after this. Read the authors note, it too is very moving.

[DeAnn · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 prepare for heartbreak stars

This one is very unique and unlike anything Clare Mackintosh has written before. Fellow Goodreads reviewer NZLisaM compares it to a Jodi Picoult book – and I completely agree with that comparison. If it is difficult for you to read about ill children, I would recommend skipping this one. It is very realistic and likely to break your heart.

The first half of the book is mostly “Before” – the life of a loving couple Max and Pip and their adorable toddler son Dylan. Tragically, Dylan’s health takes a dreadful turn and the prognosis is terrible for his future and damaged brain. The doctors recommend taking Dylan off life support as there doesn’t seem to be a way for him to recover and have a pain-free life. The big twist is that both parents have to agree to this course of action. One parent wants to seek an alternative treatment in the US (that would just extend his life, not cure him) while the other parent agrees with the doctor. It is up to the courts to decide Dylan’s fate.

The second half of the book “After” has alternating chapters with different outcomes. I found this to be a unique storytelling method and besides “Choose Your Own Adventure” books, I can’t think of another book that takes this route. While unique, I did enjoy the first half of the book better.

Mackintosh brings the hospital setting to crisp reality and this is a tragic situation for any parent. I thought the relationship between Max and Pip was very realistic and well done. I rooted for them as a couple. I also really liked that the author used the voice of the doctor treating Dylan as one of the viewpoints. This provided added insight into this book.

This was a heartbreaking book, but I’m glad to have read it. I pondered what I would do in this situation and I’m completely undecided. I think it’s normal to doubt our big decisions and this book pursues that line of thought, what would happen if this was the outcome? What would happen if the opposite was true?

Thank you to Edelweiss, G.P. Putnam's Sons, and Clare Mackintosh for a copy of the book to read.

[Kathryn in FL · Rating 4 out of 5]

Artfully written, Ms. Mackintosh does an excellent job of enthralling the reader through the challenges and choices two parents must face during a serious illness of their young son. A couple, who most would consider soulmates, now oppose each other. Their discord over this decision creates a fissure in their relationship. The question is can they get beyond this.

This is a solid story, the plot is viable, the characters are very sympathetic and one's heart is engaged as much as our rational nature.

This is a story that the less you know, the more you will enjoy it's telling. I have seen a few reviews that tell more than they should in my opinion, so I will not discuss details. I will say that the manner in which the story is written was very clever and added a great deal to the reading experience.

This tale is worthy of your time. Keep the tissues close by, you never know when your face will rain. It will give you insights that will remain in your heart long after you close the back cover.

[jv poore · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you like your heart ripped in half, then partially healed with hope, this is the book for you!