That Ex

by Rachelle Toarmino

Rachelle Toarmino's debut collection of poems is "The Glass Essay" for the Tinder generation, a fiery and playful exploration of the all-too-real experiences that come with being an ex. While the title suggests a meditation on leaving and being left—on absence, even on woundedness—there are no ghosts in this book. Instead, the reader finds Britney Spears and other archetypal exes and troubled lovers, from Carmela Soprano and Lorde to Anne Carson and Molly Bloom. They don't haunt the rooms of these poems: they party in them, fill them with their laughter, rage, and tender longing. Unbroken and big-hearted, they sing together of magic and pain, of old fights and new gambles, of getting over a breakup and getting over yourself.

Genres: Poetry

108 pages, Paperback

Published June 9, 2020

About the author

Rachelle Toarmino is a poet from Niagara Falls, New York. She is the author of the poetry collections Hell Yeah and That Ex, as well as several chapbooks, most recently My Science, winner of the 2024 Sixth Finch Chapbook Contest. Her work has appeared in Poets.org, Literary Hub, Electric Literature, American Poetry Review, Bennington Review, Southeast Review, The Slowdown, and Omnidawn, which awarded her its 2024 Single Poem Broadside Prize. She earned her MFA in poetry at UMass Amherst, where she received an Academy of American Poets Prize. She is also the founding editor in chief of the literary publishing project Peach Mag and the creator and lead instructor of Beauty School, an independent poetry school. She lives in Buffalo.

Reviews

[Rachelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’d know, I wrote it

[Maile · Rating 5 out of 5]

best book of poetry i read this year.

reminds me of: lorrie moore, lorde’s melodrama, fleabag, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, that one time your ex called to tell you he still loved you on christmas, when you and your friend are 2 glasses of wine in and the goss gets goooood, when you are alone in an airport security line, therapy, your first really good english teacher, etc etc etc.

[Matthew Bookin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A funny, timely, and vivacious meditation on forgiveness and the ways in which alienation can be repurposed as a healing act of rebellion. Toarmino’s voice is sharp and commands attention - this is a debut that pays tribute to the past as it watches it burn, lit match in hand. These are broken hearted pop poems that invite you in to laugh, talk shit, and commiserate. The fire in this book cannot be faked.

[Rachael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simply, a banger! Hot poems by a hot person. I sent pics of different poems to my group chat, a different one for each person. Some real 2020 poetry here in that it is a perfect vision and also wholly relevant! Whoosh.

[Carrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

lovely, intimate, surprising

[Eve · Rating 4 out of 5]

there’s a line in this that says ‘aren’t all names ghosts?’ and I think I’ll be thinking about that for the rest of my life

[jaz · Rating 1 out of 5]

so I expected good things from this book, seeing as Big Lucks has published some of my top favourite poets, but That Ex was a HUGE letdown.

its basically straight person tumblr poetry for the alt kid. I expected at least a lil mental illness or a lil intrigue, but no, it reads like a straight alternative girl trying to justify that boys don't like her cause she's too alternative. the reviews I'd read had promised it was cutting edge and amazing and mixed poetry and DMs and whatever else, so I was hoping for some sort of Literally Show Me a Healthy Person type book, but no, it fell flat in all regards. it can be described as someone aspiring to be Rupi Kaur for those who hate Rupi Kaur but solely cause she made it mainstream.

This is truly one of the worst poetry books I've read this year, and the only reason I don't regret buying it is because I got it on sale.

Up until now I've had nothing but rave reviews of Big Lucks books, but now I'll be more vigilant and do my research before purchasing anything from their poets.

edit: if anyone in North America would like a free copy of this book I will send it to u, pls take it off my hands

[Chase! · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn’t plan to read this all at once but suddenly I was more than halfway through and couldn’t stop. Like staying up late reading twitter threads that I’ll never be able to find again. Lots of heart in these poems, lots of life. And “all the dumb voices we used with each other.”

The millennial love poems I didn’t know I needed.

[Aidan Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Introducing Ex Canon. Smart, funny, full of heart and heat. Read this.

[D. Arthur · Rating 5 out of 5]

That Ex is a feat, a tightrope walk of humor, and wisdom, and heart. Read these poems to be proud of being an ex, but also to bask in the dazzling hope for life and love after lost love. These poems are whip smart and relatable, but ultimately there is no one like Rachelle Toarmino. The world is a little better and brighter having her work in it, and I simply cannot wait to continue to read more from her in the future. This is a bedside table book, I love having the chance to reach for its bright pink cover right before bed or first thing in the morning. I look forward to devouring it over and over and over again.

[Jessicatz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I know little (almost nothing) about poetry. I hardly ever read it. This book might have changed that for me. Relatable and heartfelt, this book of poems is full of insight into breakups and how relationships are and end. Also, I love a good Britney reference, and absolutely loved "A Word For It". Looking forward to the next book from this poet.

[Gardner Astalos · Rating 5 out of 5]

i am………that ex