The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You

by Elaine N. Aron

Do you have a keen imagination and vivid dreams? Is time alone each day as essential to you as food and water? Are you noted for your empathy? Your conscientiousness? Do noise and confusion quickly overwhelm you? If your answers are yes, you may be a highly sensitive person (HSP) and Dr. Elaine Aron’s The Highly Sensitive Person is the life-changing guide you’ll want in your toolbox.

Over twenty percent of people have this amazing, innate trait. Maybe you are one of them. A similar percentage is found in over 100 species, because high sensitivity is a survival strategy. It is also a way of life for HSPs.

In this 25th anniversary edition of the groundbreaking classic, Dr. Elaine Aron, a research and clinical psychologist as well as an HSP herself, helps you grasp the reality of your wonderful trait, understand your past in the light of it, and make the most of it in your future. Drawing on her many years of study and face-to-face time spent with thousands of HSPs, she explains the changes you will need to make in order to lead a fuller, richer life.

Along with a new Author’s Note, the latest scientific research, and a fresh discussion of anti-depressants, this edition of The Highly Sensitive Person is more essential than ever for creating the sense of self-worth and empowerment every HSP deserves and our planet needs.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Mental Health, Personal Development, Adult, Unfinished

398 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 1, 2020

Reviews

[Kalyn Nicholson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've held off on writing this review because I struggle to find the words to describe how powerful reading this book was. Never has an author reframed such a deep and intrinsic part of myself that I've often felt insecure about into what now feels like one of the most substantial pieces of my being.
This book made me stop hiding my sensitivity away from the world and, most importantly, myself. It halted many of the internal "suck it up" and "don't be so sensitive" mental loops I've been stuck on for years and instead allowed me to feel a sense of permission to own and explore the things I notice in everyday life and am so sensitive to.
It helped me better understand my relationships with other people, society, and myself, and pointed with a more defined focus to a life purpose I've always felt drawn towards but was missing the ingredient of my sensitivity.
It worked through many initial imprints left by parents and care-takers and ultimately left me feeling a lot less alienated and crazy.
If you know you're a sensitive being and sometimes feel a sense of uncomfortable force and harshness behind many of the motivational books you read, this book is for you. While most of the world thrives on this "life is tough and so are you" archetype, there is also a significant portion of the population whose deep programming thrives upon "life is tough, but you see through."

[booklady · Rating 3 out of 5]

Insightful and comforting for me as I saw myself as a classic Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and Elaine Aron insists that we are that way by genetic make-up not because we chose to be crybabies or shy or whatever.

She goes on to offer many tips for behavior management for one's own and other's benefit, to manage not change. I don't know what I was expecting but there was a lot of material which was not at all helpful or applicable, so I skimmed that. Hence, only 3.5 stars. What was helpful, I really appreciated. Also, there were several other books which I will be looking up.

If you or someone you love has struggled with sensitivity, I do recommend this book and I will be looking into others on this subject.

[Nostalgia Reader]

After reading Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking a few years ago and having something “click” to the fact that I was probably a highly sensitive person, I knew I’d eventually need to read Aron’s foundational work on the subject to hopefully gain more clarity and deeper understanding of being an HSP.

I was immediately turned off by the tone of the book. I knew there would be some self-help tones to it, but remembering the factual presentation of sensitivity in Quiet compared with this hand-holding, “you’re special!” tone, I was not at all enthused to be identifying as sensitive. But I soldiered through the first three chapters (and the new intro for 2020), thinking that there’d still be something MORE I’d learn about sensitivity. Quiet only touched on it for introverts, surly there is more, deeper, profound facts in this work!

But there was not. Aron rambles on and on about how your childhood—no, INFANCY, which no one really remembers—shapes your sensitivity, and how your parents shaped your sensitivity, and that you should treat your sensitive self as an infant. The moment the book suggested “you should look at yourself as a precious little infant that needs caring for and nurturing because you’re sensitive,” I about yeeted my Kindle off the deck. None of what was being said jived with how I either view my sensitivity nor how I deal with it. (Sorry, infants are not precious! I find belittling myself to be quite helpful in many instances!) While I am by no means saying that childhood and parenting style does NOT shape your sensitivity, the WAY that Aron frames it did not convince me at all (despite many of the same studies being quoted in Quiet, which were framed with less emphasis on parenting and more on the actual neurological differences of sensitive people).

Based on other things I’ve read about HSP’s, I feel fortunate that almost all of the advice on how to live a “balanced” life—not too over-stimulated, not too bored—has more or less already touched on things I already practice to some extent or another. The bits that were new to me all included meditating on your deeper self and connecting to your subconscious, which I have sort of tried sometimes, but OH BOY is that not a fun ride, talk about over-stimulating.

My coping mechanisms throughout my life have always “nurtured” my need to have down time, alone time, “in” time. Perhaps I truly am NOT sensitive, at least not highly, and my overstimulation is more due to my likelihood of being on the autism spectrum and/or having ADHD, combined with growing up in a naturally introverted household. However, when I skim back over Quiet’s use of HSPs to help define aspects of introversion, I again 100% agree that I’m highly sensitive. Aron’s book unconvinced me of being sensitive due to its tone and examples.

I was looking for answers to my still unanswered sensitivity questions. Is it something that can evolve over time? To that end, does puberty and hormonal changes have something to do with it (i.e. is cortisol affected by puberty)? Tell me more about how sensitivity interacts (or is caused by) mental illnesses and divergence. Give me a 400-level class about sensitivity please, not a 050-level one.

If you might suspect you are sensitive and have not read anything about the subject before and feel like you need guidance on coping mechanisms for it, by all means please give this book a chance, it might be very eye-opening for you! But for me there was little new information and strategies presented in a tone I do not respond well to at. all.

[Alisha · Rating 3 out of 5]

A few valuable insights, but I tend to prefer something more practical. This felt like it got enmeshed in psychobabble, and any book that can throw around the word “Jungian” that frequently is a little too philosophical for me.

[Kellie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I tend to avoid self-help books about personality because I find them to be, for lack of a better term, a load of mumbo jumbo. However, I’ve been interested in the concept of high sensitivity for a long time and this is the fundamental book on the subject and written by a psychologist so I thought I’d give it a go. I found the first half of the book to have some useful information and tools and appreciated that Aron’s claims were backed by research. I wish that she had talked more about physical sensitivity since I really want to know why music makes me cry and lights give me headaches and I can hear electricity, but she mainly focuses on our emotions. I found the section on how HSPs’ varying childhood experiences inform their adulthoods to be particularly educational.

However, the second half of the book takes a turn into mostly unsubstantiated claims (Jung’s heavy influence notwithstanding). Aron makes vast overgeneralizations about our thoughts and feelings, inarguably posits which historical figures were HSPs, and basically explains how our special abilities are superpowers that make us superior to the other three quarters of the population without really acknowledging any of the downsides.

One of my biggest complaints is when she discusses what she perceives to be our over-reliance on psychiatric medication to fix our innate personalities. While there is a significant discussion to be had on our current mental health epidemic and tendency to immediately turn to drugs over holistic treatment, it feels completely unscientific to me that she doesn’t acknowledge any possible contributing factors of HSPs having higher rates of psychiatric treatment. I acknowledge that this book was written in 1996 and Aron briefly attempts to rectify this in the 2012 foreword by discussing our higher rates of depression and genetic variations in serotonin levels, but she says that she would not change anything within the text of the book itself.

The final chapter is what made this book lose all credibility for me. Aron’s advice and descriptions of our experiences, though far too often all-encompassing, are at least grounded in reality up until this point, where it veers off a cliff fully into woo-woo territory. Aron discusses HSPs having visions, guardian angels, and, I’m not kidding here, the gift of prophecy. I do believe that highly sensitive and perceptive people may be able to predict the outcomes of events or understand emotionally fraught situations more accurately because of our observational skills and pattern recognition abilities, but this simply has no place in a book that purports to be scientific in nature (even one that is also a self-help manual) and left the whole thing on an extremely sour note for me.

Despite the few excerpts that I found value in, if you think that you may be a highly sensitive person (which, although she barely discusses this, overlaps with but is not 1:1 with neurodivergence), I recommend that you just read some blogs and magazine articles instead.

[Eser · Rating 1 out of 5]

The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron is a book I picked after answering yes to the questions that were presented in the book description such as "Are you easily overwhelmed by stimuli?" or "Do you need to withdraw during busy times to a private, quiet place?" According to the blurb, I was a highly-sensitive-person (HSP) and this book would allow me "to learn a lot about myself." However, I was disappointed by its contents.

First, the book tries to convince the reader that HSP is a trait. There are numerous descriptions about how HSPs behave and what they think from cradle to grave. These descriptions were generally based on Dr. Aron's patients and other "HSPs" she knows. However, many of these descriptions read like a horoscope: (almost) everyone can identify with one or two things and ignore the rest. Still, where the author completely lost me was when she got into dreams, supernatural sensations, and the spirituality of HSPs. Worse, she'd devoted an entire chapter to it.

In short, this book did teach me something about myself. I learned that I don't need a label to explain why most social interactions drain all my energy.

[Allison ༻hikes the bookwoods༺ · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not sure what to make of this book. It's insightful, but also incredibly dated in both presentation and the illustrative examples. I would like to read a more recently published book on the topic. I was also disappointed when the author moved toward the mystical in discussions of spirituality. It took the scientific basis of the book down a notch.

[Fe]

this book took turns enraging, gaslighting and triggering me. there's some good parts that are difficult to accept because of the overall framing and wording. mixed emotions. currently coping in form of ppp review.

[Samantha Miller · Rating 1 out of 5]

Well, the one thing this book taught me is that it is totally acceptable to majorly skim through something you just aren't into. As someone who just might be an HSP, this book stressed me out. It was confusing and felt like a platform for the author's ramblings vs. a helpful guidebook for HSPs.

[Makenna Luzenski · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the theoretical concept of the HSP and the practical advise for dealing with highly intuitive and extreme processing. There was plenty of reflective work that I think would especially help someone struggling.

I wasn’t going into this expecting a self-help book, so I had been hoping for my data and theory. I also found some of it pretty hand-wavy, and I was confused how some of the advising even applied to HSPs specifically, and not just regular people. It was basically psychotherapy in a book, so take that as you will.

[Diana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Things I learned:
1.) Roughly 20% of the population is considered “highly sensitive”, a trait that has been biologically ingrained in our species (and others!) as a survival skill. And as we know, when a minority exists within a population, it tends to be misunderstood or marginalized.
2.) Culturally, there are “warrior kings” and “royal advisors”. Historically, the world has expanded due to aggressive cultures, that is, by those who are “warrior kings”. But societies are only sustained and peaceful when they are balanced by their royal advisors; judges, priests, and wise counselors. While the warrior kings value expansion, freedom, and fame they are balanced with the advisor class to check their impulses and uphold justice. They are a thoughtful group that tries to redirect the warrior kings expansive energy away from aggression and domination toward creative inventions, exploration, and protection of the powerless. HSPs tend to fill that role, and although they want to make us out as weak, we have an important contribution to make. It is not something to be "cured", it's an asset.
3.) I learned so much about myself, like the concept of overarousal and how much I actually experience it, and instead of shaming this part of myself, I need to nurture it!

This book was a revelation. For so long, I questioned what was wrong with me, why I felt inherently flawed, why I experienced the world so deeply. Dr. Elaine Aron’s research and insights helped me reframe my sensitivity not as a weakness, but as a gift. I recognize now the societal conditioning that falsely equates sensitivity with fragility, and I refuse to internalize that message any longer. Instead, I will embrace this trait fully while also seeking balance, acknowledging the strengths on the other side of the spectrum in pursuit of wholeness. This book gave me the perspective, awareness, and validation I needed to not only accept but celebrate my sensitivity! For that, I am deeply grateful.

[Christian Schultheiss · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dr. Anron has been studying and if we’re being frank here, one of the major modern spokewoman and researchers both in the study and help of this affected, living with or just curious of those now being called HSP’s or Highly sensitive people as the book announces in its title head. The crazy part about this book would have to be the fact that I dove into this completely out of curiosity of the subject in and of itself, but left it realizing that I resemble shockingly many of this books defining symptoms and traits that affirm and make me question some feelings I’ve had on myself before hand and how going forward I may better need or look to focus my life in its inputs and outputs in a way that works for me even if it might seem different or somewhat strange at times to others on the outside. My only real gripe with this would be it’s over repetitive nature at times and the feeling that condensed this could’ve been effective at eight chapters as per say ten.

[Chelsea · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think the timing of me reading this book made the overall impact greater than it would probably be otherwise. I found some things very enlightening and applicable, while others didn’t work for me at all. It’s piqued my curiosity and I definitely want to learn more about what it means to be a highly sensitive person (I answered true to all but two statements on the assessment).

[Alexandria · Rating 4 out of 5]

I took the quiz before reading the book which prompted me to pick it up because ~shocker~ I’m highly HSP lol. I enjoyed this book and learned a lot about myself that I finally was able to pinpoint. It helps getting the validation of what you’re feeling and that others go through it as well. It also helped me give myself a little grace as others don’t necessarily understand how differently HSPs can process information in situations that could seem normal to them but very overstimulating to HSPs. <3

[Julia · Rating 4 out of 5]

kind of makes me hate my therapist, but she’s doing her best

[Liz · Rating 1 out of 5]

I stopped reading this book about 2-3 chapters in because it lacks depth and borders on the unethical. Much of the description of a "highly sensitive" person fits a person who has experienced trauma. Much of the advice would actually make their symptoms worse or aid in the continued denial of their mental health condition.

[Maxime · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was published in 1996 and it shows. The information is outdated in both content and style.

Admittedly, some parts were interesting and others were relatively helpful. Most parts were a a bit too self-helpy with a tendency toward psychobabble and mysticism.

Overall, this book is fine.

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finally feel heard. My whole life I've felt uncomfortable because of my sensitivity but this book really sheds light on the sensitive soul. Incredible book.

[Rachelle Cobb · Rating 3 out of 5]

Informative but very dry. And that last chapter was weird. But I suspect I may be HSP (and may be raising one) so I’d like to find a Christian book on this topic.

[Catie Loveland · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75/5⭐️ this was a validating and interesting read

[Mary Caroline Giles · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful and insightful, didn’t think I was someone who was so sensitive until I started reading this book

[Macarena (followed that rabbit)]

Review coming soon. There’s so much I need to process, and I’d like to be able to write a helpful review.

[Dennis Murphy · Rating 3 out of 5]

some good ideas, some validation too

I think it’s clear that Aron has done a tremendous amount of research and is passionate about helping HSPs. I found a lot of it enlightening and it brought up more than a few memories that I’ve been able to work to reframe.

Honestly, I just walk away from this book wanting to read Jung.

[Jessica Jupiter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly Sensitive Reader

Very valuable book for people who are themselves HSP and even for those who love someone who is and hope to gain a better understanding; I personally have shared it with my own partner. Its easy to disregard the term and assume you understand the complexity, because even I had and I am one 😂 But being an HSP isn't simply being emotionally sensitive (which is mostly the result of something more than it being innate; and is something experienced by all at some time or other), but extends to all sensory stimulation and being so, it affects all aspects of life. This book was eye opening as it was validating for someone like me who has spent a majority of my adult life going over this diagnosis and that without really covering all the bases and this book put words to many sentiments that I had been boiling under the surface for some time about myself and my experience in this world. It is not a quick or easy read though because it will sometimes make you address past trauma and also the reframing of your life through the new lens of understanding who you are can elicit a lot of emotions. Be ready to have a Kleenex at times and a notebook because not only would note taking be helpful but there are quite a few activities in the book that you can work on.

[Steph · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you're one of those people who's been called "too sensitive," "shy," or "overly anxious," this book might be the thing to change your view on life.

Aron discusses everything about Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) in this book, spanning from how to tell if you are or know an HSP, how to interact with an HSP and with the world in positive ways, and how to progress as an HSP with knowledge, understanding, and patience. A great start to the book is a short quiz and description of an HSP, essentially that a highly sensitive person recognizes more subtleties and nuance in everyday life, which makes them both great observers and easily over-stimulated. Being a highly sensitive person is a mental, emotional, and physical trait that effects everyday life in positive and negative ways, depending on the situation.

I learned so much from reading this book, especially about the physical aspects of being an HSP. Aron takes a very academic approach mixed with case studies from her experiences as both an HSP herself and a psychotherapist. Very insightful, though it can be a bit dry and informational at times.

If you are or know someone who seems to be highly sensitive, please pick up this book.

[Ashley Justice · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars from me.
I only recently discovered high sensitivity is a real and rare personality trait. As I have read through this book and really taken in all the research studies, stories and insights Dr. Aron has to offer the HS community, I am starting to identify as being an HSP more and more. Now that I am finished with the book, I identify as being an HSP 100%. This book was incredibly helpful to me and it made me feel understood in a world where I often feel only a few people understand me. I felt like part of a community as I read this and was inspired to learn more through short articles on HS and Facebook groups. Thank you, so much for your work and your research, Dr. Aron!
So why only 3.5 stars? Admittedly, I lost interest in some of the chapters when I didn't find them particularly relevant to me or my life. Or I simply did not understand them at the time of reading the chapter, but I hope to understand these particular concepts in time.
Again, this is the first nonfiction book I have related to in a long time! I am grateful for this new knowledge and will use it and the points I highlighted and notes I took to help me continue to develop a deeper understanding of myself, how I live and this community I am confident I belong to.

[WhiteOwl · Rating 4 out of 5]

How did I miss this book when it came out in the late 90s?! Reading this book has been life changing for me! I am now in the process of reframing events in my every stage of my life including the present.

When a person learns they have a born trait that they share with approximately only 20% of the population, it makes sense they would feel less-then the 80%—especially if their culture glorifies the traits of the 80% and sees their HIGHLY sensitivity/creativity/intuitive nature as weak, crippling and sometimes even a behavioral problem. Also, highly sensitive people (HSPs) are easily overwhelmed and over stimulated - this book helps HSPs see their trait as valuable and how to wisely navigate workplaces, home life, and friends who challenge their mental/emotional well-being.

Lastly, this author is featured in a film (Amazon Prime and Gaia) called “Sensitive.” I highly recommend watching this video if you are interested in this topic.

[Colleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Counting this as finished because I got 2/3 of the way through and it got to the part of self-help books where it’s just repeating itself in different contexts. However, I am going to give this 4 stars because the concept is really interesting and I did find it helpful to better understand myself. There were also some interesting reflective exercises. I appreciated that they included an explanation of the research, but even without that (I didn’t go independently confirm anything), the idea that people can be varying levels of sensitive and that’s ok is a fine one. I often make fun of myself for having weird picky eating habits (for example) but just being prompted to think about that on a deeper level was enlightening. I liked the ideas about how sensitivity connects to positive traits like being detail oriented or having empathy because it is often viewed as a negative!

[Alisa]

DNF @ 30%

Ironically the audio narration was so irritating to me it was making me clench my jaw so I decided to stop listening lol. I said yes to all but a few of the questions on the self assessment, but I guess I didn't need to take that quiz to figure it out.

My big takeaway is to not keep pushing my physical limits and respect my own boundaries. "Everyone else can do it and be just fine" doesn't really make sense to keep telling myself when my physical consequences are obviously different from "everyone else." And even though I am not an old woman, I can notice how my limitations are more pronounced an obvious than they used to be. Gotta be my best health advocate here!

[Sergii · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great read for people like me who (according to the book) on average process more information of any kind but have our nervous systems easier overaroused as a result. Finally a consistent explanation of how I feel most of the time 🙂

As many self help books it should be taken with a grain of salt and a large one at that. In particular the author’s note is better read after the rest of the book otherwise it looks like a selling pitch of “you’re the highly sensitive person and this book is for you” and the overall book’s vibe of “let me make you feel so special” is a bit too much for my taste.