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Try to See it My Way: Being Fair in Love and Marriage
A deeply probing book that gets to the heart of what all healthy romantic relationships need: fairness.
Most couples enter a marriage hoping it can last forever. So, why are more and more relationships failing over time? As Dr. B. Janet Hibbs explains, poor communication skills or inherent differences between men and women are not solely to blame. The answer lies much deeper— the key to healthy, loving relationships is fairness. Without a sense of fairness, marriages fail.
Intuitively, we think we know what is “fair.” But as this book reveals, the way we each define “what’s fair” is much more complex, and is powerfully shaped by our family expectations and experiences.
Fairness issues underlie everyday problems that become larger than life, such as: Why don’t you ever help clean the house? Why don’t you ask me how my day was anymore? Or, they can create family loyalty conflicts that sound like this: Why do you always let your mother tell you what to do? The “growing pains” in relationships— around money, children, and sex—all require the skills to negotiate what’s fair.
Here, Dr. B. Janet Hibbs provides readers with a road map for recognizing imbalances and building a stronger, more loving relationship based on a new kind of fairness—one that they create with their partner. Filled with compassion, practical advice, and compelling, real-life examples throughout, this book offers a groundbreaking understanding of the root cause of conflicts that erode relationships. It is essential reading for therapists and all couples.
Most couples enter a marriage hoping it can last forever. So, why are more and more relationships failing over time? As Dr. B. Janet Hibbs explains, poor communication skills or inherent differences between men and women are not solely to blame. The answer lies much deeper— the key to healthy, loving relationships is fairness. Without a sense of fairness, marriages fail.
Intuitively, we think we know what is “fair.” But as this book reveals, the way we each define “what’s fair” is much more complex, and is powerfully shaped by our family expectations and experiences.
Fairness issues underlie everyday problems that become larger than life, such as: Why don’t you ever help clean the house? Why don’t you ask me how my day was anymore? Or, they can create family loyalty conflicts that sound like this: Why do you always let your mother tell you what to do? The “growing pains” in relationships— around money, children, and sex—all require the skills to negotiate what’s fair.
Here, Dr. B. Janet Hibbs provides readers with a road map for recognizing imbalances and building a stronger, more loving relationship based on a new kind of fairness—one that they create with their partner. Filled with compassion, practical advice, and compelling, real-life examples throughout, this book offers a groundbreaking understanding of the root cause of conflicts that erode relationships. It is essential reading for therapists and all couples.
- GenresNonfictionMarriage
320 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2009
11 people are currently reading
87 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
September 23, 2009
I think this book is a good read for people needing to build their self-esteem in the context of their marriage and especially helpful for those who feel they are "going it alone" in trying to improve their marriages, also for couples who want to break the cycle of confrontion within their marriages. Occasional explanations of psychological concepts seemed geared more for therapists/counselors. Lay persons who read this while in therapy would probably benefit the most from it. If your marriage is in trouble and you're not working on your own psychological issues, negotiation may only be a band-aid. On the other hand, learning when and how to negotiate in a relationship is never a bad thing.
August 30, 2022
Not bad at all - the exercises at the end of each chapter truly make you reflect honestly about your motivations and intentions. Some ideas are repetitive
June 18, 2012
Don't know why this book is more reviewed...although the anecdotal couples weren't relatable to me, the insight and concept of this book is one of the more helpful books I've read on this subject...great talking points and starting points for couples working to maximize their communicative abilities togethers, etc. Recommended.
November 13, 2010
Showed reasonable analysis of how to overcome non fairness in marriage, the book addressed the most common issues that leads to divorce. I would recommend anyone to read it to raise his/her awareness and to maintain a healthy family.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews