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Healing Shame: How to Work with This Powerful, Mysterious Emotion―and Transform It into an Ally
Uncover our most powerful, complex, and misunderstood emotion
Shame. Just the word makes most people uncomfortable, and though we all feel shame, no one likes to acknowledge it. Why? Because shame is the most painful and destructive emotion we experience. It’s also designed to protect us.
In Healing Shame, Sheila Rubin and Dr. Bret Lyon ask the question: What if your shame—that awful, overwhelming emotion—could work for you instead of sabotaging your well-being?
“Shame is at the root of depression, trauma, addiction, eating disorders, and perfectionism,” they teach. “When we go to extremes to keep our vulnerabilities hidden, our very efforts keep us stuck. But when we develop a healthy relationship with this complex emotion, we find freedom and healing.”
An empowering exploration of shame—where it comes from and how we can heal
For almost two decades, Lyon and Rubin have been leading the effort to educate psychotherapists on how to more effectively work with shame. With this new audio program, they make their most important teachings available to everyone. Through six dynamic, practice-filled sessions, you’ll explore topics such as the difference between shame and other difficult emotions, sex and relationships, the body and aging, childhood trauma, and more. Finally, you’ll learn how to have a healthy relationship with shame, cultivating safe boundaries, strength, and resilience.
A married couple who have made peeling back the layers of shame their life’s work, Lyon and Rubin bring great compassion to their teachings. With humor and hope, they’ll help you understand how to transform toxic shame into healthy shame, so you can go from feeling stuck, wrong, and fearful to creative, whole, and empowered.
HIGHLIGHTS
• Why shame is the “magic” emotion—explore the mysterious, transformative nature of shame
• How shame keeps us stuck, making it harder to move on from other difficult emotions and experiences
• Unconscious shame—why this might underlie a host of other symptoms, and how to address our issues at their roots
• Where shame comes from—understand the unique series of events, internal and external, that lead to lasting shame, as well as its inextricable link with trauma
• The ways shame interacts with the most important parts of our lives—sex and relationships, addiction, our bodies, aging, sharing our work with the world, and more
• Working with shame in therapy—guidance for both practitioners and clients
• How to transform toxic shame into healthy shame—understand the evolutionary role of this powerful emotion
• A wealth of tools, practices, and exercises from a variety of therapeutic traditions to help you work with shame in safe, compassionate ways
• Six in-depth audio sessions filled with understanding, insight, and hope for healing
Shame. Just the word makes most people uncomfortable, and though we all feel shame, no one likes to acknowledge it. Why? Because shame is the most painful and destructive emotion we experience. It’s also designed to protect us.
In Healing Shame, Sheila Rubin and Dr. Bret Lyon ask the question: What if your shame—that awful, overwhelming emotion—could work for you instead of sabotaging your well-being?
“Shame is at the root of depression, trauma, addiction, eating disorders, and perfectionism,” they teach. “When we go to extremes to keep our vulnerabilities hidden, our very efforts keep us stuck. But when we develop a healthy relationship with this complex emotion, we find freedom and healing.”
An empowering exploration of shame—where it comes from and how we can heal
For almost two decades, Lyon and Rubin have been leading the effort to educate psychotherapists on how to more effectively work with shame. With this new audio program, they make their most important teachings available to everyone. Through six dynamic, practice-filled sessions, you’ll explore topics such as the difference between shame and other difficult emotions, sex and relationships, the body and aging, childhood trauma, and more. Finally, you’ll learn how to have a healthy relationship with shame, cultivating safe boundaries, strength, and resilience.
A married couple who have made peeling back the layers of shame their life’s work, Lyon and Rubin bring great compassion to their teachings. With humor and hope, they’ll help you understand how to transform toxic shame into healthy shame, so you can go from feeling stuck, wrong, and fearful to creative, whole, and empowered.
HIGHLIGHTS
• Why shame is the “magic” emotion—explore the mysterious, transformative nature of shame
• How shame keeps us stuck, making it harder to move on from other difficult emotions and experiences
• Unconscious shame—why this might underlie a host of other symptoms, and how to address our issues at their roots
• Where shame comes from—understand the unique series of events, internal and external, that lead to lasting shame, as well as its inextricable link with trauma
• The ways shame interacts with the most important parts of our lives—sex and relationships, addiction, our bodies, aging, sharing our work with the world, and more
• Working with shame in therapy—guidance for both practitioners and clients
• How to transform toxic shame into healthy shame—understand the evolutionary role of this powerful emotion
• A wealth of tools, practices, and exercises from a variety of therapeutic traditions to help you work with shame in safe, compassionate ways
• Six in-depth audio sessions filled with understanding, insight, and hope for healing
- GenresPsychology
Audio CD
Published April 6, 2021
5 people are currently reading
62 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
June 9, 2023
Oh my gosh.
I just loved this.
Very sweet.
Very nurturing.
Vulnerable (in the best way).
Sheila Ruben and Bret Lyon are a married couple.
They are both therapists.
And they specialize in healing shame (as you may well have surmised).
The program includes little meditation and journalling practices for each chapter.
I found them to be really useful and enjoyable.
I did this program (almost) like a two day intensive.
I didn’t intend to do that.
I intended to kind of skim through it.
But something about these two just made me want to slow down and actually do the work.
So YES to that!
Over the course of the program, the authors define shame in the following various ways:
Shame: (a) shame is a painful split in the interpersonal/intrapersonal bridge (b) being treated like an object (c) shame is being seen in a way you don’t want to be seen, and the unbearable exposure of parts of yourself that you don’t like (d) shame is the sudden interruption of pleasure (e) shame comes from difference (self/other).
If these definitions seem somewhat mysterious.
They become less so as you do the exercises.
Some other useful issues they explore include:
- The (SHAME<->PRIDE)Continuum.
- Healthy Shame (Counter-Shame) and Healthy Shaming.
- Shame, Sex and Relationships
- Shame regarding aging.
In sum.
I loved it.
I didn’t love it because it’s perfect (it’s far from perfect).
I loved it because it’s sweet, nurturing, healing and wise.
If you’re in that mood.
You may love it too 🥰
5/5 Stars ⭐️
I just loved this.
Very sweet.
Very nurturing.
Vulnerable (in the best way).
Sheila Ruben and Bret Lyon are a married couple.
They are both therapists.
And they specialize in healing shame (as you may well have surmised).
The program includes little meditation and journalling practices for each chapter.
I found them to be really useful and enjoyable.
I did this program (almost) like a two day intensive.
I didn’t intend to do that.
I intended to kind of skim through it.
But something about these two just made me want to slow down and actually do the work.
So YES to that!
Over the course of the program, the authors define shame in the following various ways:
Shame: (a) shame is a painful split in the interpersonal/intrapersonal bridge (b) being treated like an object (c) shame is being seen in a way you don’t want to be seen, and the unbearable exposure of parts of yourself that you don’t like (d) shame is the sudden interruption of pleasure (e) shame comes from difference (self/other).
If these definitions seem somewhat mysterious.
They become less so as you do the exercises.
Some other useful issues they explore include:
- The (SHAME<->PRIDE)Continuum.
- Healthy Shame (Counter-Shame) and Healthy Shaming.
- Shame, Sex and Relationships
- Shame regarding aging.
In sum.
I loved it.
I didn’t love it because it’s perfect (it’s far from perfect).
I loved it because it’s sweet, nurturing, healing and wise.
If you’re in that mood.
You may love it too 🥰
5/5 Stars ⭐️
January 9, 2024
It's a curious thing to feel onself change over time - some of what we all deal with (I think) is shame - due to various things, both personal and group/societal. This was a nice read. For me it was an audio book - and the presentation was quite slow. I was able to speed it up (1.5-1.7 times) and that helped as some of the sections were very slooooow (meant to guide meditation, so there was/is a reason :) )
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews