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The Husband Project: 21 Days of Loving Your Man--on Purpose and with a Plan

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Keeping a marriage healthy is all about the details―the daily actions and interactions in which husbands and wives lift each other up and offer support, encouragement, and love. In The Husband Project women will discover fun and creative ways to bring back that lovin’ feeling and remind their husbands―and themselves―why they married in the first place. Using the sense of humor that draws thousands of women a year to hear her speak, Kathi Lipp shows wives through simple daily action plans how they can bring the fun back into their relationship even amidst their busy schedules. The Husband Project is an indispensable resource for the wife who desires to The Husband Project is for every woman who desires to bring more joy into her marriage but just needs a little help setting a plan into action.

208 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

170 people are currently reading
806 people want to read

About the author

Kathi Lipp

42 books340 followers
Kathi loves giving real help and how-tos to move people forward in every area of their lives. With humor and wisdom, Kathi offers hope paired with practical steps to live with meaning.

Kathi Lipp is the Publisher Weekly bestselling author of 17 books including Clutter Free, The Get Yourself Organized Project, The Husband Project, and Overwhelmed.

She is the host of Clutter Free Academy the Podcast, runs the Facebook group Clutter Free Academy where 8000 women (and a few brave men) learn to live free from clutter. Kathi speaks at conferences across the US.

She is featured on Focus on the Family, MOPS International, Crosswalk.com, Girlfriends in God and Proverbs 31 Ministries as well as a number of other media outlets around the country. And she’s a featured expert on clutter for Women’s World Magazine and has been named “Best of Broadcast” on Focus on the Family twice.

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5 stars
211 (35%)
4 stars
198 (33%)
3 stars
132 (22%)
2 stars
40 (6%)
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13 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 53 reviews
Profile Image for Wendi.
91 reviews12 followers
September 10, 2009
Perfect for : Personal Use, Women's Bible Study Group, Women's Group

In a nutshell: Love it . . . NEED it! In hoping to pick up a book that would help me "fix" some things with my husband, I actually found that I needed to fix myself - starting with my perspective! After one day of reading the book, I found myself noticing things that I am grateful for, instead of focusing on the things that aren't quite right. I also realized that now that we have a toddler, I've moved my focus from my husband to our son, and it is time for me to learn to share that focus a little better so I'm not neglecting anyone. Sounds hard right? Nope - Kathi Lipp has written a wonderful book to help you show your husband that you love and appreciate him through little things you do over the course of 21 days (21 days builds a habit!). I highly recommend this book to anyone in a serious relationship - no matter how long you've been in it!

Extended Review: One thing I've learned over the past eight years of marriage - we will have our ups and downs, our days where we love each other unconditionally, and we also have some not-so-great moments where tempers flare and teeth grind. . . SO, when I heard about this great new book out called The Husband Project, I was instantly interested! Wow - sounds like the answer to my prayers. While it is not quite the project I was expecting, it is indeed something I need. I've become absorbed in daily things that get on my nerves and have stopped paying attention to the good things he is doing, and I certainly don't make the effort to show him that I appreciate him - so this book is perfect for me!

Kathi Lipp has created a project, that is meant to help you show your husband that you love and respect him, but shhhh - it's a secret. She carefully explains that you want to keep this project a secret so that expectations aren't changed (You've worked to set up a nice surprise, and if he knows you are working on the Husband Project, he may not see the surprise as anything special because he is expecting some grand gesture, so this is one of those times when it is good to keep a secret).

Content: The book has three main sections. The first goes into how to prepare for the Husband Project (why is it important, what is the purpose, what do you need to do ahead of time).

The second section covers the actual project - all three weeks are detailed with daily project suggestions which include good explanations, a daily prayer, ways to change the project, and actual feedback from people who have done that project.

The third section includes a few tools to use throughout the project. It has a great checklist/planner, two guides (guide to choosing lingerie, and some great recipes for guy food), and some information on how to contact the author.

Format: Each project is explained in detail, including why the project was chosen and what it is trying to accomplish. It is followed by a prayer for the day, some ways to be more creative with the project, and some comments from people who have already completed the project.

Readability: Very easy to read, understand and implement!

Overall: I highly recommend this book to anyone in a serious relationship, but especially for those whose relationship feels like it has hit a dull or rough patch. Give this book a chance to help change your perspective and put some fun (respect, love, laughter, etc) back into your relationship.
Profile Image for Susy Flory.
Author 31 books89 followers
September 4, 2009
Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important (Carl Reiner).
Marriage starts with being totally enthralled with the most amazing man you've ever met. Then ... life happens. Kids, bills, illness, family issues, not to mention stubble, belching, and raggedy underwear. You love your husband, but you don't always LIKE him. The Husband Project is for us, women who have fallen into a comfortable marriage routine, meaning "you don't bug me and I don't bug you." This book offers hope that there's more to marriage than just a lukewarm partnership stuck in neutral; in just 21 days you can jump start your marriage. Kathi Lipp's writing is clear, real, and hilarious as she challenges you to put your marriage on "project status" and shows you how to work her plan with very little effort and lots of results. The book also offers lots of practical info, such as a list of great guy movies, man-pleasing recipes, and "The Real Woman's Guide to Lingerie Shopping." If "a simple word can renew hope (Lois Rabey)" then this fun and friendly book can help you renew your marriage. It's like a kick in the pants from a wise and wonderful best friend, and Lord knows we all need that from time to time!
Profile Image for Keiki Hendrix.
231 reviews522 followers
September 3, 2009
"The Husband Project is as much about changing our attitudes as it is about blessing our husbands."

Wanna take on a 3 week (21 day) project that could perhaps change your entire marriage? Welcome to your how-to guide in Kathi Lipp's "The Husband Project: 21 Days of Loving Your man..on Purpose and With a Plan."

In our current culture where so many women are praised and admired for seeking to fulfill themselves' or 'pursuing their own interest' (to the detriment of many of their families), one would think that this book would not be worth the time.

What? You want me to spend 21 days completing project after project after project for my husband? What's in it for me? To the wise woman, the last question could be answered in Proverbs 14:1...

Every wise woman buildeth her house:
but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

The key here is the word 'buildeth'. To build or construct something you most often need a plan. This book is packed with ideas, tips, notions, recipes, and so much more. The author is a busy wife, mother, and retreat speaker, not to mention and very funny writer.

The projects are well thought out with objections noted and responses given at each step of the 21 days. Sample contracts for accountability partners, project management guidelines and forms, and a great list of 'guy food' recipes combine to make this a wonderful book to use in the Women's Ministry of your church.

Complimenting the book, is the author's website at http://www.kathilipp.com where you will find sample chapters, additional/bonus materials and leader's guide, articles, and audio.
Profile Image for Rocio.
92 reviews13 followers
November 19, 2018
I love this book. I really believe in it and I’m excited to try my husband project. Marriage in itself is such hard work and we must always remember to take care of our relationship and water it daily just as we would to a plant to watch it grow and flourish.
Profile Image for Debra.
2 reviews
March 6, 2011
This book is amazing, but not meant for a newly-wed. I think this book is best read after the rose-colored glasses have been set aside for a bit. The Husband Project is somewhat a play on words because it really transforms you as a wife as you take on this project with gusto . . . your hubby. I have learned how often I have let the busyness of life has dictated how well or how poorly I love my husband. It was not a pretty mirror to look through, but in so doing, I re-learned the need for "the little things" to become my habit as I die to myself and then experience a new level of joy as I serve and love my husband as we do life together. I don't want to just make it through marriage; I was my marriage to enhance and stimulate me to godliness as I influence my husband to the same. It just takes accountability and 21 committed days to get you going in a new direction. Check it out.
Profile Image for Amanda Best.
150 reviews19 followers
June 25, 2016
Recently started this project as a surprise for my one year wedding anniversary in July. Very quick read and helpful with the projects.
Profile Image for Amy T..
127 reviews4 followers
November 25, 2017
This one gets a 2.5 to 3 stars.  It was ok.  First off, the title makes it sound like your husband is a project when the book is actually about ways to bless your husband. I didn't like that. The author was very humorous and real, which I enjoyed. She explained things in a way that made you feel like she was on your level. The book seemed particularly geared towards wives who have children, which was good because women with children can place their marriage on the wayside too much. And she did a good job addressing those who stay at home with kids and those who work. But those without kids may get less out of this book. I give her some credit for having some good ideas to bless your husband and really practical ways to help wives place more focus on their marriage (particularly those with kids). I think my biggest issue with this book is that I didn't feel like her ideas were all that original. if you haven't spent much time reading marriage books, seeking counsel, or going to marriage retreats, this book may be very helpful.  But for those who engage in these things and frequently work towards making their marriage a priority, this book just wasn't anything special. And she explained her ideas as if they were innovative and unique. I'm afraid these are neither and merely good ideas that she borrowed.
Profile Image for Chantel.
185 reviews2 followers
August 5, 2016
Although I had to give the book itself only three stars, I have to give the study and process of doing this book 5 stars. I had a blast. My two accountability partners were encouraging and helped challenge me. It was so much fun and I recommend the experience to anyone - no matter where your marriage is!! For the book itself. I loved the outline format of the book and her supportive suggestions throughout. On the chapters she DID it, I loved when Kathi gave us a true insight to our husbands in a biblical viewpoint ... But she didn't do it for every chapter and so some days I felt a wanting for "more" in the biblical sense. I also felt like some of the "challenges" are things that you should try to do daily... As a matter of fact most of the challenges weren't that at all for me. Granted that's not the case for all marriages, but a wife who strives to live by the principles outlined in Proverbs 31 will have to use a LOT of imagination as I did to complete anything above what I consider, just ordinary. So it fell severely short for me in that aspect... I had to rewrite most challenges to go above and beyond my daily habits to intentionally focus on my husband...
Profile Image for Shawna Ridgley.
446 reviews
March 1, 2014
I've been married for 18+ years and another friend had this on their reading list so I thought I'd take a look. The book had some good suggestions and a nice format if you are a goal-oriented type person who needs a plan to stick to. I really appreciated how the author uplifted men and also how they put the focus on the wife and her making changes to love her man better, regardless of the man's actions/response. However for me, after being very happily married for 18 years I realized that I was already doing most of her suggestions, so it wasn't really new information for me. But I thought it could have been very helpful when I was newly married and trying to figure things out. I think it could also be helpful to those who've been married for awhile but life has gotten to be more about the kids or jobs or hobbies and you're desiring to reconnect.
Profile Image for Shannon Upton.
Author 9 books76 followers
February 28, 2015
Kathy Lipp shares many great ideas about how to show your husband a little extra love! She challenges the reader to complete extra acts of love each day for a month. She encourages you to find other women to share the journey with you, but I completed the book on my own and was able to keep up just fine.

My only small complaint (and this has more to do with the industry than Kathy Lipp) is that she perpetuates the idea that Christian wives in general don't love and support their husbands enough. I've read several books with similar premises, and I find it frustrating. Maybe I just have great friends(!), but the women in my circle try very hard to love and support their husbands. Books like this aren't revolutionary, they're just helpful.

The Husband Project could be very helpful to you, and enjoyable! I'd recommend this to any married woman.
Profile Image for Kathy.
Author 2 books6 followers
July 20, 2011
Well this book changed the way I look at my husband and my marrige. I had already read "Marrige: A Path to Sanctity," so I had the theological background going into marrige. This book is more of a "how-to" put those ideals into practice. I especially enjoyed the male approved recipes. I own many whole foods and vegetarian cook books, but my husband's favorite meal is meatloaf. Now I have a no-fail recipe for that, that I can throw into the mix once or twice a month. I also have tons of little activities that I can do to bless my husband when he is feeling down, when I feel the need to do some blessing, or just because. This is a must read for wives.
Profile Image for Ashley.
294 reviews
March 6, 2012
I probably shouldn't mark this as read because I didn't really read the whole thing. I like the idea and had a good start on it, but then felt like I needed to adapt the projects too much. I totally agree with the concept of going out of your way to do things for your hubby- we all know that the best way to love someone more is to serve them! It was good to flip through and get some ideas of different things to do- maybe somewhat out of your comfort zone, but in the end I feel like I would rather ponder it myself every day instead.
Profile Image for Alyssa.
625 reviews71 followers
August 4, 2012
Read this book as part of a community blog challenge. I just wanted to explore more ways to love on my awesome hubby and this book provides a treasure trove. It is super easy to read and fun to follow along. The author provides so many helpful ideas and hints that it is completely easy to relate each project to your husband personally. None of the projects has to be big, the idea is to be building small habits in yourself over the 21 days.

I recommend this book for anyone who wants to become a more loving, grateful wife!!
Profile Image for Wendi Klaiber.
271 reviews5 followers
August 8, 2015
I heard the author of this book speak on a Podcast, and I decided to purchase it and encourage my girlfriends to embark on this project. Well, we made it through 14 days. While doing the project, my husband frequently commented about how something had gotten into me because I was being so encouraging. It is a great reminder to actively love your spouse on a daily basis and to not take them for granted.
713 reviews5 followers
July 10, 2016
Author Kathi Lipp shares ideas for keeping the love for our husbands alive in our hearts by daily completing a "project" with our guys in mind. Some of the projects are quick and easy (but can mean so much), such as simply making a point of thanking our husbands for the things they do for us, and others are more involved, such as cooking a special dinner. All suggested projects are complete with several suggested variations, allowing easy tailoring to our own situations.
Profile Image for Amy Allred.
50 reviews5 followers
July 3, 2012
Wonderful, practical and so helpful in changing my heart. I recommend this to both my Christian and nonChristian friends. I love how real and totally doable this is. And it really did bless our marriage. I'm reading and doing this project a second time now a year later and it's just as perfect today
Profile Image for Amy Wasson.
80 reviews1 follower
September 13, 2015
I LOVED this book. This book helped me learn so many things about my husband. I did the projects to the best of my ability, but some of the projects require spending money. I realized how much I lack funds to do the extra special things in life. I still had a blast doing these projects. I felt a lot closer to my husband by doing these projects.
3 reviews1 follower
August 12, 2016
Wonderful book that fills your mind with positive thoughts towards your spouse!

Each little project has ideas to make it worth while for the husbands and wives. Kathi knows that as wives we don't love everything our men do and she has tips to make it a little easier on us. Great book!
Profile Image for Michelle Hart.
577 reviews7 followers
December 23, 2019
I was hoping for some newer ideas to spoil my guy. I must already be pretty good at it because there was nothing new here.

If your relationship is in a bad place or even just in a rut, it might be good for you. If your relationship is good, you're probably already doing all of these and will likely also find this book 'meh'.
17 reviews1 follower
September 26, 2012
Good suggestions on really loving your husband. I skimmed a lot because the first half was all mostly setting up the project and encouraging me to do it, which I didn't need. But the ideas presented I think are really excellent suggestions on what men really want from their wives.
2 reviews2 followers
May 15, 2013
to be clear this isn't going to change your husband! he's the same man you married, but give him 21 days of love and attention and I promise this comical easy read will do more for your marriage than you can imagine. get a friend and set up a plan to love on your man.
Profile Image for jennifer.
12 reviews
July 7, 2016
A real tool for wooing your guy

This book is perfect for the woman who needs ideas and an extra push in the right direction. It takes 21 days to form a habit and the habit of loving your husband on purpose is the best habit you could have.
Profile Image for Linda Grebler.
38 reviews4 followers
Read
August 4, 2016
Learn to be intentional about loving your hubs again.
After 28+ years, I definitely needed the "projects" in this book to remind myself to be sweet to him and love on him, like it was so easy to do in the beginning, but got harder as "life" gets in the way.
Profile Image for Melissa Friend.
19 reviews
June 9, 2010
Man, to actually do this project would be really tough, I think. Although I've asked two of my friends to read it and maybe the three of us can try it.
Profile Image for Patricia.
39 reviews1 follower
Want to read
August 11, 2016
To read in the distant future...
Profile Image for Crizzle.
1,004 reviews10 followers
February 4, 2013
Quick, easy read. Kind of made me nauseous at parts, but I guess that's my own problem. Still working on 'the project'! :-)
Profile Image for Sarah Wroblewski.
3 reviews
March 27, 2013
Things you should always being doing but forget in the normal every day chaos - loved it!
Profile Image for Belle.
10 reviews
August 20, 2014
It was fun! I totally recommend to spice up your marriage :)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 53 reviews

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