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MILLION BILLION: Brief Essays on Snow Days, Spitwads, Bad Sandwiches, Dad Socks, Hairballs, Headbanging Bird Love, and Hope.
In this fresh collection of "Roughneck Grace" columns, New York Times bestselling author and humorist Michael Perry reinforces his reputation as a writer navigating between the transcendent ("The conga line was no longer a line, but rather a fluid knot of nearly a thousand happy children winding in and around itself throughout the aisles of the auditorium while Cyril Paul and the Calypso Monarchs played from the stage."), the quotidian ("Outside my window the June evening is winding down and the sunlight is goldening and the shadows are winning the lawn and the birdsongs are of the settling sort."), and the goofy ("I have never been hungover in my life and I'm not saying that cat was, but this was my first thought, and I went with it, imagining him down at the kitty tavern 'til all hours, knocking back miniature beers and teensy chasers, maybe purring at some lady kitty and nudging the catnip chews her way until he remembered he'd been fixed, at which point he retreated with his beer to the jukebox, where he slumped into more serious drinking, his pupils sad and wide in the barroom gloom, his tail limp."). Whether putting himself on roller skates for his daughter's birthday, fixing the chicken fence, or celebrating St. Jude ("the patron saint of fools"), Perry writes with a big heart from a small place.
Million Billion picks up where the two other collections (Roughneck Grace and From the Top) left off, and includes columns originally published between March 27, 2016 and March 25, 2018.
Million Billion picks up where the two other collections (Roughneck Grace and From the Top) left off, and includes columns originally published between March 27, 2016 and March 25, 2018.
- GenresMemoir
256 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 4, 2020
11 people are currently reading
77 people want to read
About the author
Michael Perry
25 books606 followersMichael Perry is a New York Times bestselling author, humorist and radio show host from New Auburn, Wisconsin.
Perry’s bestselling memoirs include Population 485, Truck: A Love Story, Coop, and Visiting Tom. Raised on a small Midwestern dairy farm, Perry put himself through nursing school while working on a ranch in Wyoming, then wound up writing by happy accident. He lives with his wife and two daughters in rural Wisconsin, where he serves on the local volunteer fire and rescue service and is an amateur pig farmer. He hosts the nationally-syndicated “Tent Show Radio,” performs widely as a humorist, and tours with his band the Long Beds (currently recording their third album for Amble Down Records). He has recorded three live humor albums including Never Stand Behind A Sneezing Cow and The Clodhopper Monologues, is currently finishing his first young adult novel, and can be found online at www.sneezingcow.com.
Perry’s essays and nonfiction have appeared in numerous publications including The New York Times Magazine, Esquire, Backpacker, Outside, Runner’s World, Salon.com, and he is a contributing editor to Men’s Health magazine. His writing assignments have taken him to the top of Mt. Rainier with Iraq War veterans, into the same room as the frozen head of Ted Williams, across the United States with truckers and country music singers, and—once—buck naked into a spray-tan booth.
In the essay collection Off Main Street, Perry wrote of how his nursing education prepared him to become a writer by training him in human assessment, and he credits singer-songwriters like Steve Earle and John Prine with helping him understand that art need not wear fancy clothes. Above all, he gives credit to his parents, of whom he says, “Anything good is because of them, everything else is simply not their fault.” His mother taught him to read and filled the house with books; his father taught him how to clean calf pens, of which Perry has written, “a childhood spent slinging manure – the metaphorical basis for a writing career.”
Perry has recently been involved in several musical collaborations, including as lyricist for Grammy-nominated jazz pianist Geoffrey Keezer, and as co-writer (with Bon Iver frontman Justin Vernon) of the liner notes for the John Prine tribute album “Broken Hearts & Dirty Windows.” Perry also collaborated with Vernon and Flaming Lips lead singer Wayne Coyne on a project that began when Vernon approached Perry and said, “Say, you’re a nurse…” The results were bloody, but then that was the point.
Of all his experiences, Perry says the single most meaningful thing he has ever done is serving 12 years beside his neighbors on the New Auburn Area Fire Department.
Mike says:
If I had to sum up my ‘career’ in one word, it would be gratitude. I get to write and tell stories all around the country, then come home to be with my family and hang out at the local feed mill complaining about the price of feeder hogs. It’s a good life and I’m lucky to have it.
Perry’s bestselling memoirs include Population 485, Truck: A Love Story, Coop, and Visiting Tom. Raised on a small Midwestern dairy farm, Perry put himself through nursing school while working on a ranch in Wyoming, then wound up writing by happy accident. He lives with his wife and two daughters in rural Wisconsin, where he serves on the local volunteer fire and rescue service and is an amateur pig farmer. He hosts the nationally-syndicated “Tent Show Radio,” performs widely as a humorist, and tours with his band the Long Beds (currently recording their third album for Amble Down Records). He has recorded three live humor albums including Never Stand Behind A Sneezing Cow and The Clodhopper Monologues, is currently finishing his first young adult novel, and can be found online at www.sneezingcow.com.
Perry’s essays and nonfiction have appeared in numerous publications including The New York Times Magazine, Esquire, Backpacker, Outside, Runner’s World, Salon.com, and he is a contributing editor to Men’s Health magazine. His writing assignments have taken him to the top of Mt. Rainier with Iraq War veterans, into the same room as the frozen head of Ted Williams, across the United States with truckers and country music singers, and—once—buck naked into a spray-tan booth.
In the essay collection Off Main Street, Perry wrote of how his nursing education prepared him to become a writer by training him in human assessment, and he credits singer-songwriters like Steve Earle and John Prine with helping him understand that art need not wear fancy clothes. Above all, he gives credit to his parents, of whom he says, “Anything good is because of them, everything else is simply not their fault.” His mother taught him to read and filled the house with books; his father taught him how to clean calf pens, of which Perry has written, “a childhood spent slinging manure – the metaphorical basis for a writing career.”
Perry has recently been involved in several musical collaborations, including as lyricist for Grammy-nominated jazz pianist Geoffrey Keezer, and as co-writer (with Bon Iver frontman Justin Vernon) of the liner notes for the John Prine tribute album “Broken Hearts & Dirty Windows.” Perry also collaborated with Vernon and Flaming Lips lead singer Wayne Coyne on a project that began when Vernon approached Perry and said, “Say, you’re a nurse…” The results were bloody, but then that was the point.
Of all his experiences, Perry says the single most meaningful thing he has ever done is serving 12 years beside his neighbors on the New Auburn Area Fire Department.
Mike says:
If I had to sum up my ‘career’ in one word, it would be gratitude. I get to write and tell stories all around the country, then come home to be with my family and hang out at the local feed mill complaining about the price of feeder hogs. It’s a good life and I’m lucky to have it.
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
September 29, 2022
Squee! It came today, and gosh I'm having trouble putting it about 20 books down where it belongs on the priority list. I have got to stop overbooking myself....
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Well, between then and now I moved 400 miles to a new home in a new state, and then I made myself read only a couple of essays a day max., but I've finally finished. My favorite author* really has mastered this short format over the years. I'd love to see another 'real' book like Jesus Cow, sequel to Scavengers, or companion to Montaigne, but meanwhile these little pieces give me a bunch of nibbles of his insights, humor, nostalgia, and lovely style.
I will continue to actually collect paper copies of everything he writes so that I can reread them at will. Highly recommended, and maybe not the worst place to start if I haven't already persuaded you to read something else by him.
Oh, and a four-star rating is given this only so I can remember which of his are my very most favorites. His four-star books are better than some books I've given five stars too, tbh.
*Well, maybe a toss-up between Perry and Becky Chambers.
---
Well, between then and now I moved 400 miles to a new home in a new state, and then I made myself read only a couple of essays a day max., but I've finally finished. My favorite author* really has mastered this short format over the years. I'd love to see another 'real' book like Jesus Cow, sequel to Scavengers, or companion to Montaigne, but meanwhile these little pieces give me a bunch of nibbles of his insights, humor, nostalgia, and lovely style.
I will continue to actually collect paper copies of everything he writes so that I can reread them at will. Highly recommended, and maybe not the worst place to start if I haven't already persuaded you to read something else by him.
Oh, and a four-star rating is given this only so I can remember which of his are my very most favorites. His four-star books are better than some books I've given five stars too, tbh.
*Well, maybe a toss-up between Perry and Becky Chambers.
June 12, 2020
Nobody makes me laugh like Michael Perry! He is the ultimate "midwest dad". Always evolving, yet always true to his roots. I have had the pleasure of listening to Perry on a couple of his book tours, and he is as funny in person as he is when he's writing. In this book, he covers a huge range of topics. Absolutely guaranteed to make you laugh out loud, perhaps even evoking an embarrassing snort.
Cannot go wrong with this book!
Cannot go wrong with this book!
May 27, 2022
Michael Perry hit every ONE of my funny bones in Million Billion. This was my first date with him—and until two days ago I thought Dave Barry and Bill Bryson dominated the literary world of “funny men!”
When he described his racing to the airport “like the accelerator was a cockroach” and described chickens as “pigs with feathers” I nearly peed in my pantaloons … it was love at first sight!
Perry’s sense of humor is exaggeration X’s 20, so you have to be ok with that—I AM so his writing appeals to me. Plus he and his family reside in rural Wisconsin, so there are MANY familiar references to my home state, such as the weather, our food preferences, hunting, etc., which make his columns relatable and hilarious.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Laughing-to-tears Stars!!
When he described his racing to the airport “like the accelerator was a cockroach” and described chickens as “pigs with feathers” I nearly peed in my pantaloons … it was love at first sight!
Perry’s sense of humor is exaggeration X’s 20, so you have to be ok with that—I AM so his writing appeals to me. Plus he and his family reside in rural Wisconsin, so there are MANY familiar references to my home state, such as the weather, our food preferences, hunting, etc., which make his columns relatable and hilarious.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Laughing-to-tears Stars!!
September 8, 2023
Comical. "It is my understanding that this pending "fun run" is a 5K which is a blithe way of saying "short enough you can make it, long enough you won't look good doing so." "5" stands for "five" and "K" stands for "kilometers" an imaginary unit of measurement (what is this Canada?) which taken in quintuplicate equals just over three miles. The distance is doable but in no way is it fun."
"St Jude. The patron saint of fools. Of desperate situations. Of lost causes. I figure right about now he's running out of business cards and has hired extra help to answer the phones." "The main problem with farming is weather and I have a predictive ability about it being raised by people of the soil whose livelihooods depended on keeping an eye to the sky, an ear to the wind and a mind on the moon lest the hay get wet or the seeds not sprout. Also I know my zip code and how to spell weather.com".
"St Jude. The patron saint of fools. Of desperate situations. Of lost causes. I figure right about now he's running out of business cards and has hired extra help to answer the phones." "The main problem with farming is weather and I have a predictive ability about it being raised by people of the soil whose livelihooods depended on keeping an eye to the sky, an ear to the wind and a mind on the moon lest the hay get wet or the seeds not sprout. Also I know my zip code and how to spell weather.com".
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 6, 2020
Another gem from Michael Perry. I will confess that I prefer his full-length books (The Jesus Cow and Population: 485 being my favorites), but this book of brief essays will tide me over (I hope) until his next release.
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September 9, 2020"Winter hasn't even gotten it together to arrive, and already I'm tired of darkness. Already I'm pulling for solstice, just so we can rotate toward light."
November 30, 2020
I LOVE Michael Perry and have since Population 485 and the adoration continues. This volume could have used some severe proof-reading (???) Odd.
July 31, 2021
I may not know how to raise chickens or fix a truck but Michael Perry just speaks to me as a proud Wisconsinite.
February 3, 2022
This is a collection of Michael Perry's columns from the Wisconsin State Journal. They are funny, self-deprecating, and down to earth.
April 25, 2022
A collection of essays previously published in the Wisconsin State Journal. I much prefer his other books.
April 12, 2023
Enjoyed the essays
November 10, 2020
Gentle evening reading
The thing about Perry's writing is that, while I'm not a farmer at all, I get drawn in and relate to his little joys and failures that all of a certain age feel.
The thing about Perry's writing is that, while I'm not a farmer at all, I get drawn in and relate to his little joys and failures that all of a certain age feel.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews