Things Fell Apart, but the Center Held

by Dianne Darr Couts

Dianne Darr Couts’ memoir, Things Fell Apart, but the Center Held , spans continents and cultures. It tells the story of Dianne’s extraordinary childhood, rich with wonderful experiences juxtaposed with sexual, emotional and spiritual abuse. Personal and institutional betrayal would impact Dianne and her family for life, but her candid memoir also expresses gratitude for the people and experiences that fostered resilience and helped her survive.

As the daughter of missionaries, Dianne lived and went to school in Ohio, France, Senegal, Guinea and Mali, West Africa. Her memoir includes stories of adventures in all those places, but it also recounts the abuse she experienced. In the final chapters, Dianne reveals how the physical effects of that trauma followed her into adulthood.

Drawing on her own experience of trauma and its lasting effects, and on her years as a board member of MK Safety Net, Dianne speaks at national conferences and in churches to raise awareness of abuse in religious settings and to encourage abuse survivors on their healing journeys.

242 pages, Paperback

Published May 7, 2020

Reviews

[Dylan Gray]

Aptly titled, "Things Fell Apart, But the Center Held" is an illustrious tale of a worldly young woman growing up and maintaining her strength and faith despite her traumatic trials and tribulations. Within this narrative, we are transported to all the places Dianne Darr Couts has called home--from those in the United States--Akron, OH and Greenville, South Carolina, respectively--to exotic locales in Europe and Africa. We travel with Dianne through deserts, rainforests, and oceans as she recounts in unflinching detail the traumatic events that served to shape her young life. I was fortunate enough to have spent 4 years in the presence of the author, as one of her French pupils at the school from which she retired. Thanks to Dianne's prolific life experiences, education, and general acceptance of all people, I learned more from those French courses than any other class. I did not just learn French from Madame Couts, but Geography, History. and helpful English tips. In the small town where Dianne and I met, not many of the citizens had ever been to, or even heard of, many of the regions and nations depicted in this narrative--this made hearing her stories in person even more interesting. It was so wonderful getting to experience 4 years under the guidance of Ms. Dianne Couts. It is so wild that she and I--two people who grew up in wildly different circumstances and in different generations--are both rooted to Northeast Ohio. This book is a testament to a woman's strength, courage, and faith. Despite being let down in faith-based settings, Dianne maintains her spirituality and trust in the Lord, but also serves to help those also affected by the physical and sexual abuse at the hands of missionary leaders in West Africa. Despite her turbulent upbringing, Dianne Darr Couts is one of the most positive, intelligent, and open-minded people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. It was an absolute thrill to see her as a published author and to get the opportunity to read her first work. Anyone who has the pleasure of knowing Dianne needs to read this book--so does anyone with an interest in hard-truth, real-life stories.

[Mark · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tenderly told story of growing up a third culture kid (TCK)

Honest, engaging and entertaining first person story of what it was like growing up as a missionary kid (MK) Well with a read.

[Barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a memoir by a friend of mine from childhood. In many ways, it is also my story. We were both children of missionaries and attended the same boarding school. This is a very personal story, vulnerable and transparent to its readers. I was amazed at her detailed recollections from a very young age. I don't think many of us have that kind of recall. I applaud her bravery and courage, along with her siblings and others, in recounting those years of pain and abuse. Where many would have pushed it under the rug or turned their back on it, she was willing to confront and pursue those who had perpetrated abuse on children. I, for one, am profoundly grateful for her relentless pursuit of the truth. As a memoir, it was unflinching in exposing truth even in sharing with the reader her own personal struggles, particularly with her health and in her response to abuse.
She was insightful, a keen observer, and took the reader with her on her travels. Although I also lived in France, I was too young to remember that part of my life. She fleshed that out for me. I always wanted to go to Bamako, Mali and enjoyed those descriptions of Africa very much. I was reminded again of the harrowing trips we made to boarding school over nearly impassable roads! Her story became very personal as I remembered the events she recounted and my reactions to the situations. I shuddered at some of the memories and recoiled as she mentioned some of the people involved. Although I have had my own journey of healing, Dianne certainly was able to add to it. For many who feel that things have fallen apart in their lives because of abuse, this book affirms those feelings while still reminding the reader that, though we be shaken to the very core, there is a center within us that will hold us together.

[Dee Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Like a Letter from the Collective Past

Whether one comes to this story fully aware of the shrouded, sordid past that so many of us only discovered as career missionaries or the story comes as a total shock, Dianne candidly and courageously presents this gift of grace to all of us. It is for education, for inspiration, and should encourage insight for our much-needed transformation.
As a pioneer in advocacy, I have been deeply humbled to walk alongside the Darr's, the Shellrude's, and the Beardslees, even as they have kept me determined to both fight and to rest appropriately as we have breathed our way toward health and the shared visions we hold for future generations.

[Dawn Meehan · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful book. I recognized several names that overlap in our lives and tiny Kenmore community. This book is eye-opening to the horrors that can happen where you would not expect it too.