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176 pages, Hardcover
First published August 1, 2017






“What’s your job, Dad?” he asked.
“He tells them about what happened,” Ruth offered.
“What happened?” Ido widened his eyes with worry.
“There was a monster that killed people,” I said.
“And you fight the monster?” he asked, excited.
“It’s already dead,” I tried to explain. “It’s a memory monster.”



I listened to them singing and praying in the empty synagogues, closed my eyes, and swayed like them with devotion, trying to get carried away with them. But nothing rose from within my soul, and the image of God before my eyes resembled a tattered merchant who has gone bankrupt, his glasses sliding off his nose as he tries in vain to put order in the accounting ledgers strewn over his desk.
Ashkenazis, I heard them saying on more than one occasion, are the forefathers of left-wingers. They weren’t able to protect their wives and children, collaborated with the murderers, they weren’t real men, didn’t know how to hit back, cowards, softies, letting the Arabs have their way… Only a few years later did I learn that hateful places breed hate.
Dear teachers, you can report back to your school that the message has been received. Only power. No conscience, no manners, no second-guessing. Those only challenge the soul and harm functionality. We can’t allow ourselves even a moment of weakness, because everything will be taken away. We have to be a little bit Nazi. You’ve finally said it. You got the point, kids, well done.
That’s when I gave the first blow, hard, right in his face, a bone cracked, blood came gushing out of his nose, then another one, no stopping, hard, full force. It’s what I had to do.


