DYKE, a memoir

by Elaina Martin

Canadian event producer, music director and community organizer Elaina Martin has, over the past three decades, become widely known in Eastern Ontario, bolstering queer representation, community sustainability and the arts. In this soulful narrative, she shares how she grew into these roles, and what she learned along the way. Her descriptions of the eras, personalities, and local cultures she has known so intimately convey not only the life of one butch, queer musician and writer, but explore the meanings of tragedy, resilience, queer life, contention, forgiveness, and family.
From being abused and eventually outed in her northern Ontario town, to singing and partying her way through the best and worst of Ottawa’s gay venues at the height of 1990s decadence, to ultimately finding harmony and love, her story will break your heart and ignite your spirit.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

296 pages, Paperback

Published June 12, 2020

Reviews

[Alanna Why · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ottawa folks will most likely recognize Elaina Martin as the founder of Westfest, the beloved free street festival that ran for 16 years. Her first book, Dyke: A Memoir, details growing up as a butch lesbian in Sudbury in the '70s and '80s. This memoir is very frank about what it was like to grow up in a working-class family in Northern Ontario and doesn't shy away from the numerous traumatic experiences Martin endured. Despite its rawness, the book has a conversational tone that is highly readable and fast-paced - I often read multiple chapters at a time because the story sucked me in. I especially liked all the scenes that took place after Martin moved to Ottawa. I loved reading about all the gay and lesbian bars that used to exist in the city and any book that includes a line about “shopping for groceries at the Herb & Spice” has an automatic soft spot in my heart. This book is being released by the author on June 12 and I would definitely recommend picking it up if you're a fan of Canadian queer music history or memoirs. (Please note that I received an Advanced Reader's Copy of this in exchange for a fair and honest review.)

[Gillian · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an interesting, engaging, and painful memoir about a butch lesbian in Canada's life, from her childhood to adulthood. I absolutely love that she is a local author in Ottawa and when I saw this copy, signed by her, at my local bookstore I had to grab a copy (actually just convinced my family to buy it for me for Christmas!)

Since the memoir covers so many different parts of her life I don't want to divulge too much, but I was intrigued from the start and finished it in a day. Elaina faced so many hardships, but her ability to overcome each of these challenges is truly inspiring. While a central focus is about her experience growing up as a lesbian in a less-than-accepting town and times, and about carving a space for herself and other LGBTQ+ folks in this world-- particularly in Ottawa-- there are so many different lessons about love and life in this memoir.

The part about losing her father hit me really hard. I truly believe in our loved ones being able to hold on, and being able to communicate with us beyond the physical boundaries of life. The freedom from her hometown and the traumas it represented for her, with what she believes is his final send-off to her, was so touching and has continued to stick with me.

It was so interesting to read about Ottawa's LGBTQ+ nightlife that used to be so much bigger than it is now. I had no clue just how many gay nightclubs and bars there have been in Ottawa throughout the years, and it really makes me wish we still had these establishments in this city! I love that it's so much safer to be out as an LGBTQ+ in public in Ottawa now, but I do also cherish queer spaces and wish we had more of them. I love learning about the queer history of a city I've lived in my whole life, so this was very exciting.

The fact that she dates a nonbinary person and talks about her experience and love for them really warmed my heart too. I know that lesbianism has always included nonbinary people, but it's just really reaffirming reading about an older dyke's relationship with a nonbinary person: especially when the dominating discourse about lesbian history is that it was exclusive. So this makes my nonbinary lesbian heart so happy and is a great reminder that I belong- especially when she lives in Ottawa and has been involved in this community for years before me. While there are so many different aspects of lesbianism in the past that I am staunchly against (ie. political lesbianism, trans-exclusionary lesbianism, the lack of understanding of bisexuality so bi women were thought of as either straight or lesbian), I often find this is the only side of lesbian history we see: one that is negative. It's important to me to remember there have always been lesbians with varying relationships to gender, that lesbianism isn't just about a relationship between two cis women, and that there are many parts of lesbian history to honour and be proud of.

Overall, I loved this memoir and will definitely be buying her second one.

CW: assault, violence, domestic abuse, parental/familial violence, rape, sexual assault, graphic depictions, lesbophobia and homophobia, mentions of racism

[Carrie Kellenberger · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is clearly a healing memoir for Elaina Martin. I enjoyed her story and really felt for her with everything she has been through. Perhaps the author might be interested to learn that her memoir was sent to me in Taiwan. She's world famous now. :)

It felt strange wandering through my old haunts with Martin in Ottawa and yet it was exactly what I needed as a reminder of my 20s in downtown Ottawa at Icon, Centretown Pub, and other familiar haunts known to the local LGBT community. Having lived on Bank Street for close to a decade, it really brought my hometown memories back to me.

I'm a Carleton Place girl and know the areas she describes in her memoir really well. She captures Sudbury perfectly and her long drives from Sudbury to Ottawa and the places she passes along the way traces the same route we take to get to our cottage on Lake Nippissing in North Bay.

[Ellen Symons]

Elaina Martin is a local musician and organizer, and her voice and presence are as big and bold in this memoir as they are in person.

This is a very personal book, about Elaina Martin's family, friendships, relationships, and jobs. It's a story of pushing through during some deeply painful times, and a story of choices. It's a story of how we cope, even when our methods aren't helping us.

Elaina Martin has strength and tenacity, and her book shows us some of the difficult, and even terrible, events she's confronted throughout her life. It shows her repeatedly struggling and lonely, and repeatedly coming out on top surrounded by enthusiastic and loving friends.

I lived in Ottawa at the time she writes about in this memoir, and it was fun to see behind the scenes of one of the main gay bars at the time. Elaina also organized festivals that I knew about or attended, and that connection to local history kept me reading.

What's lacking for me in this book is an understanding of the author's growth as a person. She prevailed, but wasn't able to paint her inner journey in a way that would have allowed me to feel connected to her choices and be truly inspired. Also, a tighter edit would have allowed me to focus more on the story and less on the writing.

Finally, I would have liked a hint of what else was going on in the cities Elaina lived in at the time. Elaina Martin and queer identities were blossoming together, but we have no broader context here. I understand this is not meant to be a political book, yet it feels very narrow. Elaina's second memoir, Dyke II: The Decadent '90s, promises on its back cover to answer some of those social and political questions. At the very least, it will be a wild ride through one woman's participation in a slice of queer history.

[edie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you for sharing your memories and making space for people to exist within them

[Rebecca]

Closer to Fine by Indigo Girls coded asf if you ask me.

An open, vulnerable memoir from Canadian singer-musician, music programmer and festival director Elaina Martin.

I found it remarkable how Elaina recognizes Ottawa as a queer city, one that they deeply evolved within, specifically as a lesbian. The cultural tapestry that is woven into their experiences, page-by-page, warmed me. They arrived in Ottawa in 1999, the year I was born, released music and emerged within the local music landscape. They began hosting and directing their own music festival in 2000 after some unfavourable experiences at a lesbian-exclusive festival in rural Ontario, supporting women and lesbian acts within the scene, and creating a foundational panorama of queer artists to bring to Ottawa- notably Indigo Girls and Tegan and Sara (the latter of which I saw in concert at the same venue this past summer … 24 years later!!).

Elaina Martin completely re-contextualizes being a queer, lesbian Canadian, an underrepresented theme in the literary world, totally non-existent specific to Ottawa. Elaina uses direct, unembellished language to convey their straightforward sincerity and their profound love and appreciation for those closest to them. Their ability to find a flowing, continuous current of connection and community is a true testament to queer resilience; namely their lifelong friendship with Benny, the colloquial gay man and lesbian best-friendship with Brad (lowkey as complicated as a relationship … we’ve all been there fr), the touching, transcending friendship of Miss Carole and their revelatory and provoking relationship with Rowan. All of these varying dynamics, as chronicled by Elaina, are common and resonant among queer people but rare in published work.

Personal and universal experiences aside, I was most compelled by the cultural, historical aspect. I would have loved if there was a more defined temporal structure, my only criticism, but that’s because I care way too much about regional and spatial history. I loved exploring the queer spaces of Ottawa’s past within this memoir and taking a glimpse into the local music scene. Underground gay bar drama, lesbian bar karaoke night, Women’s Rock City music festival, lesbian-exclusive music retreat in the woods- no shot I missed all that because I was born in 99. I would’ve loved to see you open for Indigo Girls.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this and it is especially cathartic as someone who grew up in similar circumstances and had dreams of using my expertise in partying the way she did, but things fell apart for me. It's inspiring to know she got out of this town and was able to build a life for herself, giving me hope I could maybe still do the same one day. This town can grab hold of you with it's toxicity and this memoir shows that well. It's a good read for people who grew up in small towns and it's interesting I am sure for people who haven't as well. It will give you a look into what we get up to our in the boons lol. And as someone who was repressed and only started their journey with sexuality recently, this book found me at the right time. I'm eager to read the sequel!

[Melitchko · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

[Jaime M]

I could hear Elaina’s voice throughout - she wrote it the ways she talks - in her own voice.