Too Dark to See

by Chloe Heuch

After the death of her mother, 16-year-old Kay is on a mission to self-destruct.
Unhappy at home and school, she only finds peace with the semi-wild ponies on the moors.
She meets Sion up there, also looking to escape. They are drawn into a secret, intense love, but they cannot hide from their lives for long.
An evocative, debut YA novel about a grieving teenage girl who finds hope in a wild landscape.

Genres: Fiction

286 pages, Paperback

First published July 2, 2020

Reviews

[thewoollygeek (tea, cake, crochet & books) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adored this, it was such a heartfelt and emotion filled book. Chloe really does convey the full range of emotions that Kay goes through, I loved that you felt her pain, anger, joy, loss and love With her, she really wrote Kay and the story so well that you travel with her on her journey. I’m a long way away from a teenager or even a young adult now, but this felt so real and relevant to me for a YA reader, I can see how well this would speak to the target audience even more than it spoke to me. The writing is just beautiful, as is the story and from the start you just want to know what will happen and hope the best for Kay and Sion

Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for a free copy for an honest opinion

[Eleanor · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a digital advance copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Thanks to Netgalley and Firefly press for this copy. I am posting this review voluntarily.

If I’m honest, I don’t think this book was quite my cup of tea but there were many good aspects to it which is why I have given it a 3💙 rating.

This book follows Kay, a 15/16-year-old teenager after she loses her mother. As things begin to fall apart at home and at school, Kay finds solace on the moors. There she discovers the semi-wild ponies owned by Sion’s father. Sion too escapes to the moors from his cruel father. Their friendship blooms into love, but they can’t hide from their lives forever.

This book was great at dealing with how a teenager might deal with the loss of a parent, but also somewhat deals with how friendships can change as you grow older.

I did have a couple of issues with this book, my main one being that I found the characters seemed a little more mature than their 16-year age, especially given what they get up to in the book. Obviously this is based on my own experiences of being 16, but, to me, they felt more 17/18 rather than 15/16. I kept having to remind myself that their exams were GCSEs, not A-levels.

For me, this felt like a pretty typical teen romance story. As someone who has grown out of that phase of reading, it felt a little nostalgic, but not quite my current type of reading. I think someone who was around 17 would enjoy this book or someone who was a fan of ya romance novels.

[Mary Judy · Rating 4 out of 5]

An evocative story of a teenage girl coming to terms with loss and finding hope and light in the untamed landscape of her new world, Too Dark To See is stunning. Each page oozes with a purity of raw emotion. Kay is a carefully crafted character; a true portrait of complexity with great clarity and subtlety in revealing motivation and emotion. Sions' character stands as both compliment and foil to Kay, bringing in considerations of others' reality; that everyone is fighting their own battle. It is the blending of these two young peoples' lives that spark the brilliant light that shines through the book. Depictions of grief, love, self-destruction and resilience; of all the issues facing young people; are given to the reader in a voice without judgement or self-righteousness. The natural world in which the bulk of the action takes place echoes this sentiment, being just as it is without pretense or a skewed view. The incredible descriptions of the nature of the place, the lives of the animals are vivid, realistic and perfect in placing the reader well within the scenes. And the climax of the book? Simply nail-biting! Remarkable, genuine, heartfelt and so very real. (for ages 15+)

[Louise Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a lovely story to read about struggling with grief and how to cope. It felt as though all the circumstances within this story were very real and not too exaggerated, it was as if everything I could imagine actually happening. The book was very gripping towards the end of the story but overall I just wanted to ride this grief out with Kay and see everything unfolding. The final chapter really pulled the story together lovely and gave a heartfelt ending.

[Rhianydd · Rating 3 out of 5]

Too Dark To see
by Chloe Heuch
Spoilers alert in this book
2 jul 2020
Kay mother died and its just her dad and her aunt is staying in til the funeral is over and the funeral is today. Kay had nothing two wear only her school navy trousers and a old jumper so she fought that do that the best she could do. Heartbreaking the funeral was she cried all the time her friend Anna was there two comfort her she said why you not at school Kay said the teachers would not let her fought it was best two have the time off. The school bus was outside and every one was laughing and passing comments about the funeral and that made her cry more she could not wait two get home that night. They were moving two a new house in the next town because it was cheaper than stay where she was staying now with only her dads money coming in they needed a small house she loved this house and did not want two leave but had no choice the other house she did not like even though her mother rugs and cushion and table and armchair was there and paintings on the wall it was not like the other house.When she went back two school her friend Jess was throwing a party and asked her and Anna two attend Kay excepted the offer she could not wait two attend the party. Kay and Anna went two get Vocka and coke from the shop with they fake id and drank a bottle of wkd blue before they got two the party and was drunk before they went inside the party she loved the feeling the drink left her feel warm and fussy she loved the night there was some boys there and she hooked up on one and loved the way he touch her and they had sex outside her friends garden and all her friends were laughing like Jess and her gang she fought that she fitted the test after made the gang she did not even like this buy but loved the feeling of him inside her. that night she had a shower and went two bed> her period was late and was so worried she come on that her first time was not two have a baby with a stranger.Then the next couple of day she came on she was so thrilled she never do it like that again.
They all went out for drinks on the weekend with Jess gang and drank and kissed loads of boys Kayleigh was enjoying herself it took her mind of her mum and she even took a boy back two her house when her dad was sleeping she crept him upstairs and had sex and regretted it took a shower and went two school on Monday morning and heard the girls saying they too the morning after pill. so she went round the chemist and bought one out of her saving allowance money very dear two she took it and hoped for the best.
Anna was showing Kay a Braclette that Joe had bought her for being together for two weeks and they were going two the Cienma on Saturday and Kay wanted two have some time with Anna at the weekend so Anna fought why don't we go shopping together buy and some new clothes and you can stay the night my mum cooking a pork roast so she excepted the offer. Her dad gave her £30.00 pond for shopping and she enjoyed the day with Anna they had such a great time and everything she loved the meal with Anna they had pork roast apple pie and custard loved it she slept over. I was Kay birthday and she was sixteen and her father gave her £50.00 and a pendant she was great full for that and thank him and said she round Anna tonight Kay took her clothes and hair things with her and was happy every one was giveing her cards and wishing her happy birthday it was a good day has well. The night was great till ten o clock and there was a fight in Jess gang a boy started fighting and they all left just her and Anna there so they went tow slug and lettuce after. And Joe was there making a fuss of Anna and when Anna went two get some drink he was saying things like you don't like me and Anna tells me everything and you only like Anna the other way more then friends and things were getting nasty between them and Joe pushed her away from him and Anna saw what Joe did and took his side left Kay on her own and she walk home by herself her dad was there with a girl from work that she did not like the idea of him with another girl that was so sure so she took a shower and went two bed> the next day her dad too her round two Anna two get her present and things but Anna wasn't there so her mum just gave them and smilled. the next week in school was so difficult Anna didn't talk two her all week she eat her food on her own and talked two Jess most of the tie. she when home early.
next day she went two the farm and wanted two explore the land she climb over the gates and saw the horse the white and grey horse and gave them polo mints Then she saw Sion the father boy he was shouting at her please leave before my father catchers you so she did the next day she went back up there one of the horse was trapped his feet with bad wire and she have two find Sion she found him they got the horse free and put liquid onto her foot two help him and cloth round the foot as well the horse ran after down the hill> she like Sion they become good friend he showed her the empty house where they made love and the den they hang out of she loved the horse she named one sky and rode him a few time in till one day they were making love and the father caught them by the den he was trying two capture sky with a gun and Kay snap the horse of him and rode him all the way over two their house she hid him out the back she told her dad about everything what went on and she had a bath food when two bed the next day the horse was not there the farmer took him back so Kay and her dad went round two the farm and the father phoned the police the place was a mess dead horse and animals were rotten there the place was falling down every wear the police arrested the farmer he chucked Sion down the stairs he needed ambulance they found the horse tied two a Manchine so they set him free. They took Sion two a and e he stayed there till his mother came for him and his father went two prism and the horse was staying down a field next two the house with hay and food and a shelter Kay even made friend with Anna again things were great. Sion was staying with his mum and he was having a nice time with her plenty of food and life was great her and her father was going good she tried all her exams in school l and was moving on a life after her mother grief.

I loved this book i give a 3 out of five stars
the scene was great the plot was exiting.
the story was easy two enjoy.
i loved Anna character more than Kay even though i know what grief is like i felt for her and what she was going through.

[TBHONEST · Rating 5 out of 5]

Too Dark To See is a beautifully written portrayal of teens grief, and how the navigate the dark thick cloud that seems to encapsulate it. The characters are very real and have distinct personalities which draw you in to their individual stories.

[Liam · Rating 3 out of 5]

Too Dark to See is a very curious novel. I wasn't really sure what to expect from it, and I'm not really sure what I found either.

It's a novel about grief, about teenage life and how we cope with it. Kay has lost her mother and is struggling. From the start we see her using alcohol and casual sex as coping mechanisms for her grief. Then she has to deal with a house move, to the edge of a remote moor. She meets a new friend, who becomes more than just a friend, and has his own troubles. She faces adversity, fear, pushes her friends away, before finding some kind of peace.

It's a good novel. It deals with grief sensitively. There's more sex in it than I'm used to seeing in YA, but that too is generally handled quite sensitively. I liked the wildlife elements in it too, as Sion introduces her to the natural world all around her.

It's not great though. I just felt like there was something lacking. I don't think it's anything the novel does wrong, so to speak, more that it just doesn't go far enough, it feels restrained and a little safe.

As we see Kay struggling with her life, these big issues that threaten to tear everything down, they just...don't. There are very few repercussions she faces for any of her behaviour. She loses her virginity while drunk at a party, but it's fine. Slightly awkward seeing the boy at school the next week, but no big deal. She indulges in underage drinking, and it's fine. She skips school with such regularity that she's doubting whether she can even take her exams, but nothing ever comes of it. She trespasses on the land of the angry farmer with his shotgun and, although he chases her off, it never seems to stop her and there are no lasting consequences until the sudden and dramatic climax of the novel. It just all feels a little safe, like we're expected to believe that Kay's life is falling down around her but we're actually shown very little out of the ordinary for a typical teenager.

Too Dark To See handles its themes sensitively, but does little to push things.

[Katina Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

‘Too Dark To See’ is a beautifully written story of light and shade. Equal in grief, love, sadness and joy. Singing with the beauty of nature and life. Sympathetic and raw in its honest portrayal of grief and depression. Tender in its portrayal of burgeoning first love. I found myself swept up wholeheartedly in Kay and Siôn’s stories and immersed in the beauty of their surroundings.

Kay has lost her mother to cancer and Siôn’s mother has disappeared leaving him with his abusive father. Kay is trying and failing to balance her grief with school and exams. In trying to escape the deep loss that feels like it consumes her, she finds herself acting in ways she never would have before her mother died. Her friends struggle to understand her grief and resulting behaviour. She finds understanding and shared pain in Siôn. More than that, he introduces her to a deep love of nature and charms her with his passionate knowledge of it. There are moments of peace to be found in the wild. But there is danger in the background of these moments of joy and peace that kept me reading earnestly wanting them to be okay.

Author Chloë Heuch writes with sensitivity and tenderness, feelings tangible through her beautiful prose. I adored this heartfelt book. I know the story and characters will stay with me for a long time. A must read.

[Aisha · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book starts off quite confusing, the chapters jump between the past and present and everything is really fast paced with things being brought up and then not addressed again. However, after the initial chapters the book stays in the present.

There is little plot to the book, stuff does happen but it does not really add/amount to anything relevant. The focus of the book is on Kay, her grief and her relationship with Sion. I really enjoyed the writing style of the book, it captured her grief well, but I was let down by the ending which I thought was rushed and sort of tied things together neatly which I did not think suited the book. Although the romance was cute I feel like I would have preferred to see more dialogue between the characters.

There was also a comment Kay makes about rape in the book which I did not like, I get that it was used to show her self-destructing but I felt like it should have been addressed. This is something the book failed to do, the character does a lot of things throughout the book and the consequences are not really talked about or the emotional impact of them on Kay.

2/5

[emily rose · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was okay, i didn’t connect or care for any of the characters. I also didn’t see them grow.

[Becky Fisher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful Book 🥰

[Niamh · Rating 3 out of 5]

*2.5

[Adam Murphy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Too Dark to See by Chloe Heuch is a story of light and shade; equal in grief, love, sadness & joy. I don't know why but I continuously felt a nostalgic vibe from this piece of literature…even though I haven't lost someone close to me…yet.

After when things fall apart after the death of our 15-/16-year-old protagonist's mother, Kay finds solace on the moors. There she discovers the semi-wild ponies owned by another teenager, Sion & his father. Sion too escapes to the moors from his cruel father. Their friendship blooms into love, but they can't hide from their lives forever.

The characters are very well written & have distinct personalities that easily draw you into their personal stories. I kind of appreciate that it changes its brooder drama genre into a mild romance towards the second half of the story. I'm a long way away from a teenager (I'm most likely on the brink of adulthood now), but this felt so real & relevant to me for the YA fan reader inside me. If any teenager is going through angst mixed with grief, I'd recommend this self-help piece of fiction to them. 

[Kata Szekeres · Rating 4 out of 5]

I felt l have heard or read the story before only this time the characters of the two protagonists were broken up as if by a prism into multiple characters and relationships where ages and gender got mixed up too. It's a good first novel with quite well crafted, nuanced characters even though it's a relatively short novel about troubled teenagers/very young adults. Would have loved more description and detail about the landscape and maybe less monologues from the girl although telling her side of the story was probably the main artistic goal.

Edit: I live in North Wales and I've heard a rumour that the book is based on real life characters except the real life woman is Sion in the book, and the real life man is the girl called Kay! Thrilling!!

[D. · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lyrical, heartbreaking YA/NA novel dealing with a very young adult's challenges in life, and how she overcomes the grief and pain of losing her mother at a young age.
There are some tough topics in here - domestic violence being one of them, and the feeling that Kay has very few people to rely on, making her vulnerable, which again, is evocatively portrayed.
I had a few minor niggles with some character choices, and some of the things going on, but all in all, a read that is well worth it - whether you want a read that will challenge you, or one to relate to, this book is solidly written and worth the read.