She Never Told Me About the Ocean

by Elisabeth Sharp McKetta

"I’ve always admired the writing of Elisabeth Sharp McKetta, and her beautiful, ambitious first novel demonstrates why. She Never Told Me about the Ocean is a heroine’s journey through forgiveness, birth and rebirth, all the while treading the line between honoring the dead and feeling paralyzed by them. She has offered us a complicated portrait of mothers and daughters, cupped inside one another like nesting dolls."― Arthur Golden, author of Memoirs of a Geisha " She Never Told Me About the Ocean is a tidal and intimate book, brimming over with wonders and terrors and the watery echoes that bind generations of women. What a pleasure this book is from start to finish. McKetta maps the dark portals through which her women continuously reinvent themselves, newborn at every age."― Karen Russell, author of Swamplandia! and Orange World and Other Stories Told by four women whose stories nest together, She Never Told Me about the Ocean is an epic about a rite of passage that all humans undergo and none remember: birth.

Eighteen-year-old Sage has been mothering her mother for as long as she can remember, and as she arrives on the shores of adulthood, she learns a secret: before she was born, she had an older brother who drowned. In her search to discover who he was and why nobody told her, Sage moves to tiny Dragon Island where her mother grew up. There, she embarks on a quest to learn the superstitions of the island, especially its myths involving her mother. Gathering stories from Ilya, a legendary midwife who hires Sage as her apprentice; Marella, Sage’s grieving mother who was named for the ocean yet has always been afraid of it; and Charon, the Underworld ferrywoman who delivers souls to the land of the dead, Sage learns to stop rescuing her mother and simply let go. But when her skill as Ilya’s apprentice enables her to rescue her mother one final time, in a way that means life or death, Sage must shed her inherited fears and become her own woman.

Genres: Fiction

285 pages, Paperback

First published March 2, 2021

About the author

Elisabeth Sharp McKetta is a novelist, poet, biographer, teacher, and a mother of two. With a PhD on the intersections between fairy tales and autobiography, as well as a seven-year streak of writing weekly poems for strangers, she teaches writing for Harvard Extension School and Oxford Department for Continuing Education. She has authored ten books and co-edited one anthology. Her poetry and short work have been published widely, including in The Poetry Review and Real Simple; her work with myth and memoir has been spotlighted in Harvard Magazine. Her TEDx talk, “Edit Your Life like a Poem,” led to a personal growth guide to be published by Penguin Random House. Elisabeth lives with her sea-swimmer husband and her children.

Reviews

[catherine ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

*Thank you to the author and publisher for a free copy in exchange to an honest review!*

Actual Rating: 3.75

In a story about a young woman figuring out her family history, I did not really did not expect there to be so much magic and myth!

She Never Told Me About the Ocean is written from multiple perspectives, the first belonging to eighteen-year-old Sage who discovers that she had an older brother who drowned. As she moves back to Dragon Island where her mother grew up to learn what happened, she discovers that there is much more to the island and the people living there.

The plot for this is just so rich; I honestly didn't expect this book to hit so hard in its themes about womanhood (and motherhood), overcoming generational fears, and grief, but it did a really beautiful job in weaving these subjects together and for different characters.

Admittedly, it took me a little while to understand what kind of book this was. I had started off expecting something that was a little more linear and concrete in its storytelling, with more of a singular plot around Sage researching her family history. This is not just that story; there's a lot of backstories and myths that are being weaved together that were a little confusing when I started reading. Once you understand what kind of story this is and suspend a bit of disbelief, it's easy to let yourself just fall into the story and feel everything.

This was an intensely character-driven story. I'm usually someone who isn't a fan of the multiple perspectives kind of writing either because I don't care equally for all points of view or because I start mixing up who's who. With that being said, I really couldn't imagine this story being written another way. A lot of this book is important in that it talks not just about what happened, but also about how the characters deal with them mentally and how our bodies react to grief and fear.

The writing style is undoubtedly the best part of this book. Every chapter, every perspective, every line just read like surreal poetry. The different settings where this story took place were really brought to life, especially the ocean which had a voice of its own. It really felt like every word in the book was chosen deliberately — this story couldn't have taken place anywhere else other than Dragon Island.

Ultimately, She Never Told Me About the Ocean is a story that manages to take heavy emotional themes and weave around them new stories about why we are who we are; this book might not be for those who read more straightforward and action-driven stories, but for those who like fiction that is slower, more intimate, maybe even slice-of-life, this book is a must-read.

[MCS · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a story about 18 year old Sage, and her mother, coming of age at the same time. Through mysticism and realism, it brings the reader on journey about the complicated relationship between mother and daughter. Each character is relatable to who I have once been or who I hope to be.

McKetta’s previous work includes poetry, which is evident by the precise and wonderfully chosen language. It was a delight to read and a bit sad to leave these characters behind.

[LeAnne Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully deliberate book. If you are familiar with previous books by McKetta, you will have fun recogizing unique words and phrases from earlier works. Reading "She Never Told Me About the Ocean" is like walking around inside a painting in progress. As more layers of water-thinned paint are added, the picture starts to come into focus. Enjoy this gorgeous book.

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's about a 3.5 stars for me.
It kept my attention at times, but I was slightly confused for a while as the magic and character entanglement unfolded.
It had an interesting and unique plot, which I give the author a lot of credit for. Would I read it again? No, but it was entertaining as a first read.

[Erika Herman · Rating 5 out of 5]

What truly sets this book apart is its exploration of the human spirit and the complexities of relationships. The characters are so beautifully crafted, each with their own vulnerabilities and strengths. Their journeys of self-realization and growth resonated deeply with me, leaving me reflecting on my own life and relationships.

"She Never Told Me About the Ocean" is a triumph of storytelling that reminds us of the boundless power of the human imagination. It is a testament to the author's talent and creativity that they were able to craft such a captivating narrative where dreams become intertwined with reality, and the ocean becomes a metaphor for the vast depths of our emotions.

[Ariel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another 3.5 stars-er. An odd little book that mixes together a lot of very disparate-seeming things - and mostly works? Coming of age? Check. Midwifery? Check. Supernatural? Check. Mythology? Check. Multiple narrators? Check. Tropical islands? Check. Ode to the unknowableness of life and the ocean? Check, check. It’s a lot, and the book floats through it all, carrying us along. I never really felt “grounded” reading it, but still it drew me along nonetheless. There was something very compelling about it, but it didn’t completely blow me away.

[Mary S · Rating 4 out of 5]

i LOVE midwifery 😤😩

[EllenZReads · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is like a song of love to the water...like a rush of water spilling out all the secrets...Birth, death, all the strange and wonderful things in between.

The novel reveals the beauty of love, family, and place in the stories of Sage, her mother Marella, and mysterious and ethereal midwife Ilya, with dream-like interludes from a re-imagined Charon, mistress of the ferry who carries the souls of the dead across the river Styx into the Underworld.

I thought this was a gorgeous book and I highly recommend it! Elisabeth Sharp McKetta is the author of eight previous books. This is her first novel...but hopefully not her last!

[Margaret Carmel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is full of surprises.

She Never Told Me about the Ocean is a delightful novel about the relationships of several women and how they deal with grief, life and overcoming your fears. It takes place on the fictional Dragon Island south of Hawaii when 18 year old Sage and her family return after her grandmother's death. While her mother is still despondent from the long buried tragedy of Sage's older brother drowning and her father is off fishing, Sage finds her way on the island by apprenticing with a midwife and comes to terms with her mother's mental illness.

The book jacket certainly advertises the cycle of mothers and daughters at the center of this story, but it doesn't prepare you at all for the magical realism elements of this story. It's a lovely addition and adds and ethereal quality to the storytelling, but it can really throw you off guard if you think this is a straight contemporary fiction story going in.

I was a bit worried in the beginning of this book about how Sage sees her mother as someone to take care of, instead of pushing back on her abusive behavior, but her transformation over the course of the book is a really special journey and I loved reading it. It matches well with her growth as a midwife, her mother processing her own pain (to a degree) and all of the cycles of the natural world.

Lovely.

[Johanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every time I thought this book was getting good... it got better. The characters wove together, as connected as the ocean and as life and death. The writing was both ethereal and accessible, poetry in a natural narrative form.
Picking up this book to read during breaks in my day, I felt like a kid headed to story hour - as excited to be a part of the rhythm of the words as I was to find out what would happen next.

[Sharon Rimmelzwaan · Rating 5 out of 5]

She Never Told Me About The Ocean by Elisabeth Sharp McKetta is a story of female relationships, breaking away from dysfuntional relationships interwoven with myth and folklores.
We meet Sage, eighteen years old. A young woman who has taken the caring role for her mother. Her grandmother is dying so Sage and her parents, George and Marella return to Dragon Island to say their goodbyes. Marella is not really a willing participant in this, it is more the fact that Sage has made her mother return. This is the first time any of the three have been back since Sage was born. As the time goes on and they are still on Dragon Island sorting everything out. Sage discovers she had an elder brother and decides she is going to find out everything she doesn't know. We see Marella confronted with everything from her past as well as a midwife who has the ability to speak truth from the future. These women both need to speak their truths and find a way to free themselves from the dysfunctional realtionship they have and hopefully accept whatever type of love they have left between them.
A book that as you begin you think you know where it is going and before you know it you are in a world I can't fully explain. The weaving of this tale must have had a dash of fairy dust included. The myths, folklores and even mystical things that are part of the journey are alongside the maternal relationships and the daughter to mum. Death and even as I call it the limbo place are part and parcel of this very lyrical and intricate book.
The author has managed to encapsulate the fragile state of life and the shown us how relationships can be broken by grief from the past that hasn't been worked through. A truly mesmerising tale written is such an eloquent way.
Thanks to Anne Cater of Random Things Tours and Paul Dry Books for the copy of the book.

[Veronika Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Firstly let me say that I loved this book. Every word, every phrase, every brilliant moment. It has gone to the top of my favourite books of the year.

It is also a book very close to my heart. Like Sage I mothered my own mother from a teenager until her death which was three days before my fortieth birthday. Like Marella, my mother lost a child at a year and a half (though due to tuberculosis). She was soon pregnant with my brother and then me. Her anxiety surrounding our welfare amongst other things became all consuming, leaving her living in fear, and leaving me, like Sage, with her inherited fears.

She Never Told Me About the Ocean is a work of magical realism – I didn’t realise to what extent when I started it. There were touches of the mystical beauty I have only ever found in the books of Alice Hoffman (not so much Practical Magic which is the best known as it was made into a Hollywood film) but in others such as The World That We Knew, Faithful, Blackbird House and she is my favourite writer ever. This is the biggest compliment I could pay any author.

When Sage’s beloved Nana is dying she decides to go to the strange Dragon Island to say goodbye, virtually dragging Marella with her. Sage is overwhelmingly distraught. Together with her father George, they stay at Nana’s huge, rambling house where they sort out her things and prepare for the funeral. Though Nana always stayed to look after Sage when George was away at sea (my grandmother had to look after me and my brother when my mother became unable to do so), none of them have been to Dragon Island since Sage was born.

The days turn to weeks, George is once more away at sea, the two women are still living at the house and Sage meets Ilya the midwife, who takes her on as her apprentice. We also hear from Charon the ferry-woman, who takes souls across the river to the Underworld. But in this story, the Underworld is accessible to living humans, who can make a bargain to bring back a departed loved one in exchange for years of work when their time comes.

But what happens in this book is almost secondary to the thoughts and philosophy behind it. This is a book about mothers and motherhood, about unbreakable bonds and the love we have for our children and our parents regardless of time, distance or conflict. I cannot praise it enough. It made me revisit my life and my childhood and the meaning of everything I believe in. I know that sounds pretentiously profound, but if you read She Never Told Me About the Ocean – please do – you will hopefully understand what I mean.

Many thanks to @annecater for inviting me to be part of #RandomThingsTours.

[Cheryl M-M · Rating 5 out of 5]

Since Sage can remember she has always been the adult in the mother daughter relationship. Her mother is fragile and unstable. She refuses to engage with the world or get close to her child. Sage has never really questioned the why of her behaviour until her grandmother says something peculiar before she dies.

The return to Dragon Island forces Marella to confront the past, which includes the island’s midwife and her ability to speak truth to the future. It’s a story filled with the power of sisterhood, the complex relationship between reality and figures of folklore. It’s also a story of breaking free from the shackles of dysfunctional relationships and being able to finally embrace a restricted maternal love, but love nevertheless.

It’s one of those books where you go – where did that come from, which well of inspiration spoke and filled your head with such rivers of inspiration? It’s a spectacular venture into myth, folklore and magical realism. Simultaneously it’s also an intricately woven web of women’s relationships. Mother to daughter, daughter to mother, death to living and the somewhere that exists in between.

McKetta is an excellent writer and storyteller. She captures the fragility of life and death, the extreme weight and consequences of unresolved grief, and the fractured nature of relationships strained by mistakes of the past.
*I received a courtesy copy*

[Tavi Black · Rating 4 out of 5]

She Never Told me about the Ocean was a satisfying read full of lush images, with references throughout to water and motherhood. We immediately connect with the protagonist, Sage, in the opening pages. Less so with her mother, yet anyone can empathize with a woman who has lost a child. It was Sage's connection to her grandmother (and the eventual severing) that really hooked me. To avoid a spoiler, I will just say that that disturbing image stayed with me.
All of the female relationships in this novel are complex and layered. I loved the invention of Charon being a woman who ferries souls across the river, though those sections were probably my least favorite, as far as voice goes. It's a tricky thing to rewrite myth and to include magical realism in a novel. I think McKetta handled this beautifully. It was not a quick read for me, which was just fine. I took the time to drink in her gorgeous prose.

[Sherry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Meticulously crafted story of mothers and daughters, birth, life and death, inherited fears and the courage to fight them. Sage has taken has always taken care of her fear ridden mother, Marcella. When her father goes to sea, Nana comes to Blue Island from Dragon Island where Marcella grew up, to cook, clean, and keep a watch on her highly excitable daughter. Sage seeks the hidden secrets in their past from the island’s revered midwife Ilya and becomes her apprentice. Sage’s hopes of college and escape are lost when Nana dies, and Sage must become the sole caretaker of Marcella. Sage, Marcella, Ilya and Charon, who ferries the dead across the River Styx, are the narrators who unpeel the endless onion or nested doll layers of stories with stories, secrets amid secrets, myths and legends in this complexly interwoven tale of birth, death and redemption.
Fascinating blending of reality, myths, loss and rebirth.

[M. · Rating 3 out of 5]

With astounding prose and rife imagination, McKetta explores both a place’s and a family’s mythology, its attentions drawn most to where the two intersect.
McKetta guides us through the viewpoints of multiple women as they discover who they are, where they come from, and how far they’ll go to secure their love, their families, and their futures. Sage is 18, a woman who’s put her future on hold to bury her grandmother on her home island. Marlena, Sage’s mother, is a woman subsumed by grief, her own coming of age was interrupted and wilted after losing her firstborn to the ocean. Of course, every family has its secrets and Sage knows nothing of this loss; instead, she and her mother have a tenuous—and often tempestuous—relationship that colors even their relationship to the landscape.
In strokes heavy with longing, with grief and generational fears and magic, this is ultimately a lyrical tale of growth, of becoming the people they want to be.

[wellreadtraveler · Rating 4 out of 5]

She Never Told Me About the Ocean is a story about mother/daughter relationship, forgiveness and finding your way.
Sage is eighteen when she discovers a hidden secret about a brother she never knew and how he died. Her mother has always been fragile and emotionally unavailable and finding out this secret on her grandmothers death bed is a huge blow to young Sage. Ilya is Dragon islands midwife and hires Sage as her apprentince. In Ilya Sage finds the motherly figure she has always wanted and learns how to help the women of the village deliver their babies. Sage sets out to learn who her mother is and what she's been through as well as discover who she is as a young woman in this world.

[George the Girl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished reading this, and am left so open, so vulnerable. Reading it felt like swimming in the sun, heavy lidded eyes, a scratchy breeze, air of salt. It felt like me, like my mother, my children.

It was powerful, yet subtle and inviting. Difficult to read, but nurturing. It broke my heart even as it taught me how to heal it.

It reminded me a lot of one of my favorite authors, Madeline L'Engle, and her almost dreamlike story telling ways.

It was beautiful. This is one I'll read again, pull out on my dark days, flip through on my triumphant ones.

[Shanna Wright · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am torn on my review of this one. Some of the writing is so good. However, over time the ocean metaphors get stretched thin and the mythical side is just too much. Overall, it was just too much for me. It didn’t take the form of fantasy like a Narnia or Lord of the Rings. It attempted to be real life woven with mythical realms. I guess Narnia is that as well, but without any reincarnation themes. Maybe that is what got to me. Too much reincarnation? It was just overall too much for me to enjoy fully.

[Kristal · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had a hard time relaxing into the magical realism at first, but once I did I enjoyed the story. I strongly disliked the mother character but that’s likely because she was written accurately & reminded me of a real person or two.
The protagonist, Sage, was likable and interesting. Overall an enjoyable read.

[Julie Des · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly a beautifully written book! I enjoyed this immensely and will most likely read again as well as recommend to friends as a top pick. It is a rich combination of myth/folklore and realism that stirs emotion while you read as it touches on birth death and all the human connection that happens in between.

[Kiley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story weaves water through the duality of life and death, land and sea, & daughter and mother with prose so beautiful my tears could fill a bathtub.
It was a book that made me content through my journey with it, somewhat familiar but with enough doses of magic and mystique to keep the pages turning.

As I read this from a young daughter’s perspective, my favorite part was Sage’s birth as a midwife and woman in the cave (womb) where she delivered the doctor’s wife secret child by her own hands.

[Penny · Rating 5 out of 5]

In general I'm not a fan of books with magic or fantasy as part of the plot, this is an exception. A girl and her relationship with her mother and their disparate relationship with the ocean are at the heart of this beautifully written book. Discover and enjoy!

[Dorothy Yoder · Rating 4 out of 5]

Confusing at times because of the switching between fantasy and reality, characters with the same names and how all the characters are related. I would not read again or recommend to a friend but give the author credit for creativity.

[Denise Caruzzi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lovely story.....lovely words.....
it was magical in every way, and the characters so real and compelling (including the part played by the sea). I so appreciated the relationships and the connection. Highly recommended, and i am hoping for a follow-up!!

[Stacey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very different from anything I’ve read before. I loved the midwifery-focused themes. There’s a fantasy element that may not be a match for every reader’s taste, but I thought it worked well for the tone and setting of the book.

[Ellen Stead · Rating 5 out of 5]

This would be a great choice for your book club! Beautifully written, engaging storyline and lots to discuss

[Brittany Collins · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most imaginative, intricate, and completely absorbing books I've read in years! A work of poetry-- and of brilliance.

[Shelley · Rating 4 out of 5]

A mix of fantasy, fiction and female power! This was an engaging read that had unexpected details. So well written!

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautifully written story and I highly recommend it!