The Girls Next Door: Into the Heart of Lesbian America

by Lindsy Van Gelder, Pamela Robin Brandt

Lesbian women, with voices often less heard, are given a platform in this witty and insightful landmark book from journalists Lindsy Van Gelder and Pamela Robin Brandt.

Long misperceived as a separatist coven, a default option, or a sort of ladies' auxiliary to the gay men's movement, lesbian life has achieved a new visibility in the past few years. But for all the interest in who's out and who's not (yet), there's been surprisingly little understanding of the diversity and richness of lesbian experience.

This funny, lively, and perceptive book will change all that. Drawing on more than a hundred interviews with women around the country, and on their own keen wits and eyes, Van Gelder and Brandt have composed an unprecedented portrait of how gay women today—lipsticked and flannel-shirted alike—think, feel, love, and live. Three major "tribal" events—the long-running Michigan Womyn's Music Festival, "Dinah" (the annual Dinah Shore Golf Tournament and party circuit, a mecca for upwardly mobile luppies), and a cross-country trek with the activist Lesbian Avengers en route to the 1994 Stonewall commemoration—provide points of entry into an exploration of lesbian identity, social dynamics, and politics that's as entertaining as it is revealing. The result is a kaleidoscopic portrait that will resonate with lesbians themselves and reveal to their "neighbors" a world of unsuspected vibrancy and depth.

Genres: Queer, Nonfiction, LGBT, Lesbian, Gender Studies, Gay, Female Authors

320 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1996

Reviews

[Aria · Rating 2 out of 5]

So, I'm not sure how to rate this book. Having been around in the 90s as well as friends with both bi, lesbian, and gay identifying people (as well as straight) I recognize as familiar the situation as it was described when this book was published. It was interesting as it made apparent by my relative experience just how quickly things have changed since that time in my recent (enough) memory. The experiences from those older generations from the eras of the 70s and prior was not entirely new, but not entirely known to me, either. (How could it have been?) That whole concept of actively choosing to play a male or female role in earlier-era (40s and 50s) relationships was a fascinating bit of sociological information, and really demonstrated the grip those societally-imposed roles have on our psyches.

Reading as a Gen. X-er, I was able to put this 90s-published information in perspective, even the ugly bits that I knew would make my Millennial daughter cringe. The language and thinking that is second nature now (to anyone paying attention, but especially to the younger set) was so new at the time of writing it had yet to be explored and understood in the wider culture.

For example, the term transvestite. Simply unacceptable in modern parlance, seeing this word used repeatedly in the text makes one realize how recently the trans movement has come to the forefront even among other marginalized groups. Another example: the descriptions of obese females and the not exactly fat-shaming, but rather the explicit notice of this body type with some surprise of positive sexuality being associated with it was something I gleaned happening more than once in the book. Counter that with the happy reports of all body types unashamedly living in various clothed and nude states during the (now defunct) Michigan Womyn's Music Festival. It doesn't exactly match up. Yet another example: omg that arguing of what does and does not constitute a lesbian identity, and the (never understood by me) avoidance of the bi-sexual identity by most parties. The idea of sexuality as a fluid concept existing on a spectrum of possible choices had not yet been well-circulated at the time of publishing, although the foundational research itself was not exactly new. The confusion the lack of such a concept caused over how to use the (then oh so ever important) labels for sexual attraction was endless. I am so grateful that concept is coming more into the mainstream consciousness, and the understanding of most humans as being bi-sexual to some degree, even if they don't act on it or even realize it, is more accepted. It thankfully renders nearly moot most of those mental gymnastics people went through trying to make concrete something that almost always is not. (Thankfully the younger generations will benefit from this fluidity perspective, as so much damned time and energy was burned up tediously and endlessly arguing over those insufficient prior labels.)

My favorite part by far was how they chose to close the book. That interplay was absolutely honest and beautiful. What a perfect way to sum up what it is really all about, without having to spell it out. (Kudos on that.)

Like I said though, I'm not sure how to rate this book. If I think of it in the era it was written, it's a solid 3 leaning to a 4 star rating. If I think of it now, I want to say maybe 2 stars leaning to a 3, but it really depends on you are when you approach this material, and what context you can give it. That said, as far as the writing goes it's well done enough, although the bit about the Womyn's Festival was the most tedious to read for some reason. The part about the lesbian avengers was also somewhat painful, but I can imagine it had to be so much worse to be there with all of the ad-naseum "processing" that went on....frankly, I'd have had to leave them. I'm impressed at the patience of the author(s) to stick it out. It did seem an accurate portrayal of what anyone who has spent anytime with such groups of people knows from experience to be true. Finally, yeah, that U-Haul joke has been around a long time.

I will pass this on to my similarly-aged friend and she what her thoughts are on it. Will be interested to see what my daughter's thoughts will be, reading it with her young, modern worldview. Am so glad though, that my confusion over how to rate this 1990s decade publication is due to the many great forward changes that have occurred since it was written. That's awesome.

[Courtney Stirrat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ok. So for those of you who fail to understand The L Word, The Michigan Womyn's Music Festival, Flannel Shirts, Bright Red Lipstick, wearing ties (which I never do because I refuse to learn how to tie them. Tying my shoes is complicated enough), and generally all things girl-oriented, READ this! Seriously. Click on amazon, find a nice cheap used copy, enter your credit card information and buy it. Read it.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

where I first learned about Michigan Womyn's Music Festival.

[Chanel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me preface this by saying this book is daaated. It's about LGBTQ issues, and it was published in 1997. Need I say more? The way the authors talk, they'd be getting called out A LOT if they released this book today. However, I'd like to see how socially acceptable parlance will change in another 20 years.

All that said, this is an entertaining read. The authors write in a conversational tone, leaving lots of room for anecdotes from their literal road trip across the US to put themselves in the front seat of lesbian experiences. It's not just juicy anecdotes that give the writing color and life, it's also the authors' sense of place, eye to detail, and reporter-y style that lends credibility to their escapades. Vand Gelder and Brandt's writing makes me want to hang out with them.

All in all, I'd read again down the road when I'm looking for something entertaining, sociological, and heartwarming.

[Sara · Rating 1 out of 5]

I tried to read this because it was in my university's gsc library. I was dismayed because of the general brushoff towards trans women and men by the lesbian community, especially in the womyn's festival chapter.

[Vanessa · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars for containing lesbian history in terms of personal lesbian experience in the 90s and prior. Lost 2 stars for being dated and containing some transphobic content. Also some chapters dragged on a bit when the points had already been made.

[Ariel ✨ · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well, it does shed some light on the biphobia of the early aughts. We still see echoes of those attitudes in the community today.

[Ren · Rating 5 out of 5]

I liked learning that lesbians have always been like this

[Syd · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't a "we're-just-like-you" book. I'm not like my neighbors...that's why they call me queer.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is hilarious. An awesome read.

[Pants]

so far, so fun. interesting.

[Marks House]

2 copies

[Nicki Hill · Rating 2 out of 5]

actually felt generous with the two stars, but given this book is essentially from a different time, some allowances can be made, I suppose.

[Jen Steffens · Rating 3 out of 5]

Started to read and never finished :)