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176 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1969
‘Ulisses, remember how you once asked me why I voluntarily kept away from people? Now I can tell you. It’s because I don’t want to be platonic in relation to myself. I’m profoundly defeated by the world I live in. I separated myself just for a while because of my defeat and because I felt that other people were defeated too. So I closed myself up in an individualization that if I hadn’t been careful could have been transformed into a hysterical or contemplative solitude.’
‘Through the drunkenness of the jasmine, for a moment a revelation came to her in the form of a feeling–and in the next instant she’d forgotten what she’d learned from the revelation’
‘We haven't surrendered to ourselves, because that would be the start of a long life and were afraid of that. We’ve avoided falling to our knees in front of the first one of us who says, out of love: you're afraid….We haven't used the word love so as not to have to recognize its contexture of hate, love, jealousy and so many other contradictions…We've disguised our indifference with false love, knowing that our indifference is disguised anguish. We've disguised with a small fear the greatest fear of all and that's why we never speak of what really matters.’
‘[O]ne of the things I've learned is that we ought to live despite. Despite, we should eat. Despite, we should love. Despite, we should die. It's even often this despite that spurs us on. The despite was what gave me an anguish that when unsatisfied was the creator of my own life. It was despite that I stopped on the street and stood looking at you while you were waiting for a taxi. And immediately desiring you…’
‘We erred by humanizing him. We humanized Him because we didn’t understand Him, so it didn’t work. I’m sure He isn’t human. But though not human, nonetheless He still sometimes makes us divine.’
pretends she’s alive and not dying since in the end living was no more than getting ever closer to death… pretends that everything she has isn’t pretend… pretends she isn’t crying inside…
There was the sea, the most unintelligible of nonhuman existences. And there was the woman, standing, the most unintelligible of living beings. She and the sea.