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I Give my Marriage a Year
How far would you go to save your marriage?
Lou and Josh have been together for 14 years. They share two kids, a mortgage, careers and plenty of history. Now, after a particularly fraught Christmas, Lou is ready to ask herself: is this marriage worth hanging on to?
Every month for a year, Lou sets a different test for their relationship - from daily sex to brutal honesty - to help her decide if she should stay or go. Secrets are exposed, old wounds reopened and a true-to-life suburban love story unfolds.
I Give My Marriage a Year paints a sharply accurate, often hilarious picture of a modern Australian marriage. Lou and Josh are a couple on the edge, and their efforts to bring their relationship back from the brink will resonate with anyone who has ever asked themselves: is this enough?
Whose side will you take? Who deserves a second chance? And will Josh and Lou stay together or split for good?
Lou and Josh have been together for 14 years. They share two kids, a mortgage, careers and plenty of history. Now, after a particularly fraught Christmas, Lou is ready to ask herself: is this marriage worth hanging on to?
Every month for a year, Lou sets a different test for their relationship - from daily sex to brutal honesty - to help her decide if she should stay or go. Secrets are exposed, old wounds reopened and a true-to-life suburban love story unfolds.
I Give My Marriage a Year paints a sharply accurate, often hilarious picture of a modern Australian marriage. Lou and Josh are a couple on the edge, and their efforts to bring their relationship back from the brink will resonate with anyone who has ever asked themselves: is this enough?
Whose side will you take? Who deserves a second chance? And will Josh and Lou stay together or split for good?
432 pages, Paperback
First published August 25, 2020
486 people are currently reading
5058 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 549 reviews
September 5, 2020
I freaking loved this book! So important, timely and thought provoking. If you only read one book this year - make it this one!
May 14, 2024
I had not heard of Holly, journalist, and editor at Mamamia. Now that I’m aware of this multitalented woman, I have now become acutely interested!
I’ve sat on this review for a few weeks. This often happens when a book effects me, and I’m not sure what it is that I want to say.
My observation is this. The author and I are at the same age, and I just feel she jumped in the head of the married woman, the working woman, the mother, the unsure woman, the flighty woman, the conflicted woman, and the woman not unafraid to make her own mess. And how real is this? Those that say otherwise, I’m going to say this is bollocks. In my opinion.
The crux of it is a couple is going about their lives; what they’ve slid into. The mortgage the kids, the full-time work. Husband has dreams of making music rather than carpentry as his income, and a teacher wife, loves her kids but is now wanting more. She literally gives her marriage a one-year contract, and as the months count down, the marriage goes through all sorts, mostly a blindsided husband and an erratic wife. This is very real, and I think a welcome and fresh voice to the AWW scene.
Throw in an awful mother-in-law (don’t you find they are so well written, always with an ever-growing dislike in the reader’s mind, making the read all the more delicious?) to take us into murkier waters.
This book is full of humour and angst, while looking in one cannot compare themselves to the characters, which causes extreme discomfort at times. A sure sign of quality work, this book is engaging and approachable, never mind how much it makes one squirm.
What I took from this reading experience is the cleverness the author used to take us on a journey through a fictional Australian marriage, making the reader raise eyebrows many times. The actions are questionable, but I never hated them, I wanted it to work. As always, I love when I find a new author, of a similar age. How does Holly just get it. Quite eerie, funny, and serious all at once.
I highly recommend.
I listened to this via the BorrowBox platform and my public library.
I’ve sat on this review for a few weeks. This often happens when a book effects me, and I’m not sure what it is that I want to say.
My observation is this. The author and I are at the same age, and I just feel she jumped in the head of the married woman, the working woman, the mother, the unsure woman, the flighty woman, the conflicted woman, and the woman not unafraid to make her own mess. And how real is this? Those that say otherwise, I’m going to say this is bollocks. In my opinion.
The crux of it is a couple is going about their lives; what they’ve slid into. The mortgage the kids, the full-time work. Husband has dreams of making music rather than carpentry as his income, and a teacher wife, loves her kids but is now wanting more. She literally gives her marriage a one-year contract, and as the months count down, the marriage goes through all sorts, mostly a blindsided husband and an erratic wife. This is very real, and I think a welcome and fresh voice to the AWW scene.
Throw in an awful mother-in-law (don’t you find they are so well written, always with an ever-growing dislike in the reader’s mind, making the read all the more delicious?) to take us into murkier waters.
This book is full of humour and angst, while looking in one cannot compare themselves to the characters, which causes extreme discomfort at times. A sure sign of quality work, this book is engaging and approachable, never mind how much it makes one squirm.
What I took from this reading experience is the cleverness the author used to take us on a journey through a fictional Australian marriage, making the reader raise eyebrows many times. The actions are questionable, but I never hated them, I wanted it to work. As always, I love when I find a new author, of a similar age. How does Holly just get it. Quite eerie, funny, and serious all at once.
I highly recommend.
I listened to this via the BorrowBox platform and my public library.
August 13, 2021
Every now and again you find a book that reads you back. One that makes you wonder if the author not only has cameras inside your house, but is somehow listening to your thoughts. A book you don't even want to recommend to other people, for fear that they'll read it and get too much information about you.
Anyway, on an unrelated note, I Give My Marriage a Year is an exceptional book.
The story sounds unremarkable: Lou and Josh are married. Neither of them has exactly the career they'd dreamed of, and since having their two kids, they've struggled to find time for each other. In some ways, they don't understand one another anymore, and in other ways, they understand all too well, and it makes them resentful. Lou, who is having an affair, gives herself a year to decide whether to cut her losses.
See what I mean? Now you think my marriage is in trouble. Venetia and I are doing fine, thank you very much (though she was alarmed to see this book on the coffee table). But Josh and Lou are painfully relatable in ways I've never seen before. The story, told one month at a time from alternating perspectives, peels back the layers of their fear and anger and disappointment such that you can't help but feel it all right alongside them. And as with Hollow Empire, each time the perspective changes, the action jumps forward, not back, keeping the story moving at a canter.
A side note: I didn't realise how sexist I was until I read the chapters from Josh's perspective and was surprised that a woman had written them. So much of it felt like secret men's business - the shameful thoughts men have that women aren't supposed to know about. I found myself wondering, "Which male betrayed the tribe and told Holly Wainwright all this?" (And yes, I'm aware how ridiculous that sounds, given that I write from a woman's perspective all the time. It was just so real, that's all!)
That's the value of good fiction. When you see your own thoughts in someone else's writing, things you'd never dare say out loud, you're forced to admit that you have more in common with other humans than you think.
Perhaps the most impressive thing about this book is how expertly it shifts the reader's sympathies between the two protagonists. I flipped from team Josh to team Lou and back again more times than I could count. Actions that seem reasonable from one perspective are horrendous from the other. This balancing act also extends to the tone. There's enough comedy to take the edge off the tragedy, and the characters have just the right mix of thoughts, words and actions. It's also worth noting how entertaining the side characters are, from Lou's wild bestie to Josh's miserably divorced mate. The settings, from their home to their holiday destinations and their respective workplaces, are all utterly convincing. (The one weak point might be their love for their children, which is often stated, but only occasionally shown.) And the conclusion, in which the two heroes (and the reader) finally understand what they're really fighting about, is a stunner.
The book doesn't sound like a page turner, but it really is. The things that Lou and Josh say and do to one another are almost unforgivable, yet it's impossible not to root for them, to desperately hope that they somehow find their way back to one another. Unlike with a romance novel, the outcome is far from certain. (Also, the two narrators of the audiobook, Casey Withoos and Patrick Harvey, are excellent, even when they're playing one another's characters.)
Usually, when I finish a book, I donate it to Lifeline. Not this one. It's going back on the shelf, so I can read it again the next time I want to feel seen, and moved - or if I ever need a reminder that marriage is worth fighting for.
Jack Heath is the author of Kill Your Brother.
Anyway, on an unrelated note, I Give My Marriage a Year is an exceptional book.
The story sounds unremarkable: Lou and Josh are married. Neither of them has exactly the career they'd dreamed of, and since having their two kids, they've struggled to find time for each other. In some ways, they don't understand one another anymore, and in other ways, they understand all too well, and it makes them resentful. Lou, who is having an affair, gives herself a year to decide whether to cut her losses.
See what I mean? Now you think my marriage is in trouble. Venetia and I are doing fine, thank you very much (though she was alarmed to see this book on the coffee table). But Josh and Lou are painfully relatable in ways I've never seen before. The story, told one month at a time from alternating perspectives, peels back the layers of their fear and anger and disappointment such that you can't help but feel it all right alongside them. And as with Hollow Empire, each time the perspective changes, the action jumps forward, not back, keeping the story moving at a canter.
A side note: I didn't realise how sexist I was until I read the chapters from Josh's perspective and was surprised that a woman had written them. So much of it felt like secret men's business - the shameful thoughts men have that women aren't supposed to know about. I found myself wondering, "Which male betrayed the tribe and told Holly Wainwright all this?" (And yes, I'm aware how ridiculous that sounds, given that I write from a woman's perspective all the time. It was just so real, that's all!)
That's the value of good fiction. When you see your own thoughts in someone else's writing, things you'd never dare say out loud, you're forced to admit that you have more in common with other humans than you think.
Perhaps the most impressive thing about this book is how expertly it shifts the reader's sympathies between the two protagonists. I flipped from team Josh to team Lou and back again more times than I could count. Actions that seem reasonable from one perspective are horrendous from the other. This balancing act also extends to the tone. There's enough comedy to take the edge off the tragedy, and the characters have just the right mix of thoughts, words and actions. It's also worth noting how entertaining the side characters are, from Lou's wild bestie to Josh's miserably divorced mate. The settings, from their home to their holiday destinations and their respective workplaces, are all utterly convincing. (The one weak point might be their love for their children, which is often stated, but only occasionally shown.) And the conclusion, in which the two heroes (and the reader) finally understand what they're really fighting about, is a stunner.
The book doesn't sound like a page turner, but it really is. The things that Lou and Josh say and do to one another are almost unforgivable, yet it's impossible not to root for them, to desperately hope that they somehow find their way back to one another. Unlike with a romance novel, the outcome is far from certain. (Also, the two narrators of the audiobook, Casey Withoos and Patrick Harvey, are excellent, even when they're playing one another's characters.)
Usually, when I finish a book, I donate it to Lifeline. Not this one. It's going back on the shelf, so I can read it again the next time I want to feel seen, and moved - or if I ever need a reminder that marriage is worth fighting for.
Jack Heath is the author of Kill Your Brother.
August 28, 2020
I Give My Marriage A Year is a funny yet drama filled story of a couple who are struggling with their marriage. Lou and Josh have been together for 14 years, but Lou is not sure if she can do another 14 years with him. They have a enviable life from the outside, with 2 daughters and a house. But all is not as it seems.
Their marriage is not so great, both of them have their secrets. But Lou has a plan - she is going to give it a year. Each month she comes up with an area to focus on, some with hilarious results. It is not all fun and games though. We hear the story of their relationship from both Lou and Josh, past and present. Will they save their marriage or go their separate ways? I could not work that out, even up until the end. I wasn't overly keen on Lou's character and liked Josh alot more. But they both had their moments.
It is an emotional, funny and relatable book. Set in Sydney it was easy to see the story happening as I read it. My husband did see the book as I was reading and and said "I hope that is not a self help book you are reading!!"
Thanks to MacMillan Australia for my advanced copy of this book to read.
Their marriage is not so great, both of them have their secrets. But Lou has a plan - she is going to give it a year. Each month she comes up with an area to focus on, some with hilarious results. It is not all fun and games though. We hear the story of their relationship from both Lou and Josh, past and present. Will they save their marriage or go their separate ways? I could not work that out, even up until the end. I wasn't overly keen on Lou's character and liked Josh alot more. But they both had their moments.
It is an emotional, funny and relatable book. Set in Sydney it was easy to see the story happening as I read it. My husband did see the book as I was reading and and said "I hope that is not a self help book you are reading!!"
Thanks to MacMillan Australia for my advanced copy of this book to read.
September 13, 2020
I’m sorry to say I didn’t enjoy I Give My Marriage A Year. It lacked the passion of Sally Rooney, the sharp perception of Charlotte Wood, and the suspense of Liane Moriarty – without those, there’s not much left. Wainwright tried her best to tell a “relatable” story, but ended up hashing over very worn ground: a white, middle-class couple with kids, the wife underappreciated, the husband’s masculinity threatened. In fairness, this book is probably aimed at an older crowd, and I’m sure many other readers will enjoy it… but it’s not a stand-out, and it’s not for me.
My full review is up now on Keeping Up With The Penguins.
My full review is up now on Keeping Up With The Penguins.
May 27, 2020
I Give My Marriage a Year, is the perfect book for anyone who is married, divorced, broken up, been heart broken, has kids, decided not to have kids, has family issues, struggled with money, feels lonely, wishes for more, or to put it simply: is human.
Lou and Josh have been married for 14 years, have two young daughters and live with a large mortgage in inner-Sydney. Lou is a teacher and Josh has only ever wanted to play the guitar and write songs, but is forced to be a ‘chippie’ and work for his builder mate just to make ends meet. At the beginning of the book Lou starts a new entry in her diary with the words “I Give My Marriage a Year”. The reader then follows the alternating story between Lou and Josh as we discover the issues between them, both past and present, which have led to these words.
This book is full of very real characters we will easily recognise, not only in ourselves but people we all know. It is poignant, funny, clever, and has many almost cringe-worthy moments we all know when we say or do things we wish we hadn’t, or alternately wish we had! This is a book about being a mother, a sister, a lover, a friend, a sibling, a husband, a wife….well, you get the picture. What makes this book special is not only the engaging story and characters, but the fact that you would expect to take one person’s side, but it is so well done you can empathise and understand both sides which I feel is the aim.
Perfect for fans of Liane Moriarty, Jojo Moyes, Sally Hepworth, and Lucy Diamond.
May 30, 2024
This book was a trip. I mostly loved it as the story dove into the heart of Lou and Josh's 15 years of marriage as much as any I have ever read on a marriage. The alternating narration between the two helped balance the story and give it depth.
But I really struggled with Lou more as she pushed the entire crisis in their marriage, while Josh, although flawed, really was settled into their lives with Stella and Rita, their two children who are very much part of the story, but not really about their separation unfortunately. Knowing Lou is frustrated in her life and with her marriage does not make anything she did ok in my eyes.
A mixed bag for me, but as it all took place right around where I live and worked, which always makes a story more relevant and interesting for me. Well written, strong characters, just didn't love how it all unfolded. 4 stars for this library ebook. Some notable quotes below.
'He wasn't treating Sinead as a person. He was treating her like a memory he revisited to make himself feel strong. Yeah, Mum, I got it' Josh talking to himself about his ex girlfriend. pg 51
'Lou's parents weren't that bad, he decided. They were just trying to stick to the script that had been torn up long ago, and they weren't sure they weren't at all sure that they liked where the rewrites were going.' pg 57
'To say a baby changes things is the understatement of a lifetime, Lou decided.' pg 144
'You used to be equals' said one of the mother's group mums. 'Now you're just mum.' 'Fuck that, thought Lou.' pg 146
'It was like every night, the monotony of domesticity. Depending on Lou's mood, she could find it intoxicating or suffocating.' pg 211
'The hardest thing you'll ever do in your life,' Emma said, 'is forgive someone for hurting you.' pg 232
But I really struggled with Lou more as she pushed the entire crisis in their marriage, while Josh, although flawed, really was settled into their lives with Stella and Rita, their two children who are very much part of the story, but not really about their separation unfortunately. Knowing Lou is frustrated in her life and with her marriage does not make anything she did ok in my eyes.
A mixed bag for me, but as it all took place right around where I live and worked, which always makes a story more relevant and interesting for me. Well written, strong characters, just didn't love how it all unfolded. 4 stars for this library ebook. Some notable quotes below.
'He wasn't treating Sinead as a person. He was treating her like a memory he revisited to make himself feel strong. Yeah, Mum, I got it' Josh talking to himself about his ex girlfriend. pg 51
'Lou's parents weren't that bad, he decided. They were just trying to stick to the script that had been torn up long ago, and they weren't sure they weren't at all sure that they liked where the rewrites were going.' pg 57
'To say a baby changes things is the understatement of a lifetime, Lou decided.' pg 144
'You used to be equals' said one of the mother's group mums. 'Now you're just mum.' 'Fuck that, thought Lou.' pg 146
'It was like every night, the monotony of domesticity. Depending on Lou's mood, she could find it intoxicating or suffocating.' pg 211
'The hardest thing you'll ever do in your life,' Emma said, 'is forgive someone for hurting you.' pg 232
December 6, 2020
I am writing this first part when I haven’t finished the book yet, but I have so many thoughts that I feel like I need to write them down before I don’t have them anymore.
I hate Lou. I thought in the beginning of the novel that I hated her because I am similar in relationships, I tend to get a bit self-centred and stuck in my head, but the further I got in, the worse she got.
SHE LEAVES HER HUSBAND AT A CAMPSITE IN THE MIDDLE OF F*CKING NOWHERE?!? ALL BECAUSE SHE THINKS HE’S HAVING AN AFFAIR, WHEN SHE IS ACTUALLY HAVING ONE!!! Her best friend, Gretchen, even tells her that she is being irrational, yet she still does it. Lou is a selfish person. I understand that she is human and she has flaws, and she needs to think of her own happiness, but she purposely goes out of her way to hurt Josh when she is the one f*cking the marriage up. Josh loves her, consistently, irrevocably throughout the whole novel. He forgives her for her affair and tries to make the marriage work.
I 100% get where she is coming from about the frustration of him not contributing more into the care of their kids and home, which he immediately tries to rectify when she brings it up in therapy. The moment he starts to detach and distance himself because he is hurting, she goes all tears and red-faced as if she isn’t the one that has been counting down the days to the end of her marriage.
She feels physically ill by the thought of him touching her, so she seeks comfort from another man. Then assumes Josh is doing the same and practically leaves him to fend for himself out in the middle of nowhere. The father of her children. On Easter.
Don’t get me started on Gretchen. She is a classic enabler. She will occasionally ark up and tell Lou to rethink sh*t, without saying it in direct terms. GRETCHEN, WE UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN, JUST TELL LOU SHE IS BEING AN IDIOT. Gretchen will tell Josh that Lou is being an idiot, but will not tell Lou to her face. A good friend will help, but a great friend will tell you that you’re in the wrong. Gretchen has been Lou’s friend for decades, and the most she can come up with is, I never wanna get married but you should stay married to Josh. Great one, Gretchen, you got any more hard hitters for us???
Now, to continue this after I have officially finished the book.
It take Lou almost the whole book to admit to the therapist that she’s had an affair, but really, she’s admitting it to herself. She states during a conversation to Gretchen that her ‘affair’ wasn’t an ‘affair’, it was a blip in time, a mistake. Lou, I’m pretty sure when you have continuous sex with someone that isn’t your husband; it’s an affair. Stop trying to justify your actions behind a thin veil of idiocy.
Look, I’ll level with you. This book terrified the living hell out of me. I am a single woman in my early twenties. I have severe crippling commitment issue and this book just provided me with an outlet to realise that marriage is sucky. I know I’m generalising, which makes me no better than Lou, but it took them so long to realise that their issues were stemming from complacency. They’d spent fourteen years being married and Josh had stopped paying attention, Lou had started getting angry with herself and simmering instead of talking about it.
Really, they needed the trail separation to realise that they were not being fair on each other. Lou continued to blame her indiscretions on Josh when she was the one that chose to have an affair, and as her therapist pointed out close to the end of the book; was Lou really angry at Josh, or was she angry at herself?
She says that nothing was the same after Josh made her have an abortion, and while Josh wasn’t as supportive as he should have been and Lou realises quickly that the right decision was to have it, she still does it and blames him for it. Josh didn’t threaten to leave, he didn’t threaten her life; he simply said he didn’t know if he could do it. She made the decision to have the abortion, not him. She was in control of the situation and she chose to continue on that course, but blamed Josh for years and then pursued an affair because she couldn’t deal with the guilt. If she’d just dealt with her feelings in a constructive manner, then it wouldn’t have been a problem.
I’m judging this from a perspective of ignorant ambivalence, as I have never been married, had kids, or had an abortion. I have never felt the guilt of aborting a clump of cells that you wanted. I am speaking in a purely hypothetical sense because I can’t truly relate to the topic.
I found the flashbacks a little confusing if you don’t pay attention to the dates and it was hard to keep interested in the storyline when the current storyline was just getting interesting and it’d switch to a flashback. They were vital for the story as a whole. It was very interesting knowing how Josh and Lou were when they were dating, then about to marry, then having their children, then starting to have issues. What it mostly showed was that Lou has always been a little self-centred, Josh was always a little too laid-back for Lou’s own breed of high maintenance. She meets him in the middle in some instances, but she is a product of her mother (who is an insufferable b*tch).
To talk briefly about Annabelle, Lou’s mother, she is probably just as insufferable, if not more than, as Lou. She spends most of her time telling Josh that he isn’t good enough for Lou and everyone knows it. She was a poor girl in Northern England who Lou’s father brought to Australia and gave her a good life, yet she still has the audacity to turn her nose up at a hard-working man who is providing for her daughter and her grandchildren. Especially considering that it isn’t Josh who broke the marriage up, instead Lou. Who slept with a man on New Years Day while Josh took his children to his mothers to watch stingrays, and then had the f*cking AUDACITY to ‘give her marriage a year’ when she is the f*cking problem. Lou has the audacity to agree with her mother on a few accounts, but she doesn’t vocalise it. You know why, Lou? Because it’s a dick move.
I do apologise for the harsh words during this review, but this book made me so very angry. It made me sit back and say aloud “how can someone be this f*cking selfish?” It made me question my own judgement in the beginning thinking that I was anything like Lou. Any decent human being wouldn’t leave their husband stranded in the middle of nowhere, no matter how angry they are. You may think it, but doesn’t mean you’d do it.
I understand why they decided to stay together in the end and she did atone and apologise (sort of) for her affair, but their relationship is complicated. The time away from each other did good and they settled into a good rhythm in the end, but it seems like they might have this issue again in fourteen years and Lou will blame him for it again.
I hate Lou. I thought in the beginning of the novel that I hated her because I am similar in relationships, I tend to get a bit self-centred and stuck in my head, but the further I got in, the worse she got.
SHE LEAVES HER HUSBAND AT A CAMPSITE IN THE MIDDLE OF F*CKING NOWHERE?!? ALL BECAUSE SHE THINKS HE’S HAVING AN AFFAIR, WHEN SHE IS ACTUALLY HAVING ONE!!! Her best friend, Gretchen, even tells her that she is being irrational, yet she still does it. Lou is a selfish person. I understand that she is human and she has flaws, and she needs to think of her own happiness, but she purposely goes out of her way to hurt Josh when she is the one f*cking the marriage up. Josh loves her, consistently, irrevocably throughout the whole novel. He forgives her for her affair and tries to make the marriage work.
I 100% get where she is coming from about the frustration of him not contributing more into the care of their kids and home, which he immediately tries to rectify when she brings it up in therapy. The moment he starts to detach and distance himself because he is hurting, she goes all tears and red-faced as if she isn’t the one that has been counting down the days to the end of her marriage.
She feels physically ill by the thought of him touching her, so she seeks comfort from another man. Then assumes Josh is doing the same and practically leaves him to fend for himself out in the middle of nowhere. The father of her children. On Easter.
Don’t get me started on Gretchen. She is a classic enabler. She will occasionally ark up and tell Lou to rethink sh*t, without saying it in direct terms. GRETCHEN, WE UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN, JUST TELL LOU SHE IS BEING AN IDIOT. Gretchen will tell Josh that Lou is being an idiot, but will not tell Lou to her face. A good friend will help, but a great friend will tell you that you’re in the wrong. Gretchen has been Lou’s friend for decades, and the most she can come up with is, I never wanna get married but you should stay married to Josh. Great one, Gretchen, you got any more hard hitters for us???
Now, to continue this after I have officially finished the book.
It take Lou almost the whole book to admit to the therapist that she’s had an affair, but really, she’s admitting it to herself. She states during a conversation to Gretchen that her ‘affair’ wasn’t an ‘affair’, it was a blip in time, a mistake. Lou, I’m pretty sure when you have continuous sex with someone that isn’t your husband; it’s an affair. Stop trying to justify your actions behind a thin veil of idiocy.
Look, I’ll level with you. This book terrified the living hell out of me. I am a single woman in my early twenties. I have severe crippling commitment issue and this book just provided me with an outlet to realise that marriage is sucky. I know I’m generalising, which makes me no better than Lou, but it took them so long to realise that their issues were stemming from complacency. They’d spent fourteen years being married and Josh had stopped paying attention, Lou had started getting angry with herself and simmering instead of talking about it.
Really, they needed the trail separation to realise that they were not being fair on each other. Lou continued to blame her indiscretions on Josh when she was the one that chose to have an affair, and as her therapist pointed out close to the end of the book; was Lou really angry at Josh, or was she angry at herself?
She says that nothing was the same after Josh made her have an abortion, and while Josh wasn’t as supportive as he should have been and Lou realises quickly that the right decision was to have it, she still does it and blames him for it. Josh didn’t threaten to leave, he didn’t threaten her life; he simply said he didn’t know if he could do it. She made the decision to have the abortion, not him. She was in control of the situation and she chose to continue on that course, but blamed Josh for years and then pursued an affair because she couldn’t deal with the guilt. If she’d just dealt with her feelings in a constructive manner, then it wouldn’t have been a problem.
I’m judging this from a perspective of ignorant ambivalence, as I have never been married, had kids, or had an abortion. I have never felt the guilt of aborting a clump of cells that you wanted. I am speaking in a purely hypothetical sense because I can’t truly relate to the topic.
I found the flashbacks a little confusing if you don’t pay attention to the dates and it was hard to keep interested in the storyline when the current storyline was just getting interesting and it’d switch to a flashback. They were vital for the story as a whole. It was very interesting knowing how Josh and Lou were when they were dating, then about to marry, then having their children, then starting to have issues. What it mostly showed was that Lou has always been a little self-centred, Josh was always a little too laid-back for Lou’s own breed of high maintenance. She meets him in the middle in some instances, but she is a product of her mother (who is an insufferable b*tch).
To talk briefly about Annabelle, Lou’s mother, she is probably just as insufferable, if not more than, as Lou. She spends most of her time telling Josh that he isn’t good enough for Lou and everyone knows it. She was a poor girl in Northern England who Lou’s father brought to Australia and gave her a good life, yet she still has the audacity to turn her nose up at a hard-working man who is providing for her daughter and her grandchildren. Especially considering that it isn’t Josh who broke the marriage up, instead Lou. Who slept with a man on New Years Day while Josh took his children to his mothers to watch stingrays, and then had the f*cking AUDACITY to ‘give her marriage a year’ when she is the f*cking problem. Lou has the audacity to agree with her mother on a few accounts, but she doesn’t vocalise it. You know why, Lou? Because it’s a dick move.
I do apologise for the harsh words during this review, but this book made me so very angry. It made me sit back and say aloud “how can someone be this f*cking selfish?” It made me question my own judgement in the beginning thinking that I was anything like Lou. Any decent human being wouldn’t leave their husband stranded in the middle of nowhere, no matter how angry they are. You may think it, but doesn’t mean you’d do it.
I understand why they decided to stay together in the end and she did atone and apologise (sort of) for her affair, but their relationship is complicated. The time away from each other did good and they settled into a good rhythm in the end, but it seems like they might have this issue again in fourteen years and Lou will blame him for it again.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 6, 2020
Thank you to NetGalley for the opportunity to review this book. I found it quite tedious to get through. I couldn't form any connection with any of the characters and I honestly thought Lou was just a terrible person. It did have some promise but unfortunately fell a bit flat.
October 4, 2020
*https://mrsbbookreviews.wordpress.com
‘I decided in January, Josh’, she called up to him, ‘that this is the year of make or break.’
‘Make or break?’ He pushed the goggles back on his head with one hand, the other still clutching the saw.
‘Us’, Lou said, her face turned up to him. ‘One year to decide if we should stay together or not.’
I Give My Marriage a Year is a realistic, honest and considered look at a marriage in crisis. From the author of the bestselling novel The Mummy Bloggers, Holly Wainwright offers a balanced and thoughtful presentation of both partner’s views in regards to the possible demise of a long standing relationship. A book that holds universal appeal, I think I Give My Marriage a Year will strike a chord with all readers, no matter their marital status.
Holly Wainwright carefully considers all options in a marriage on the verge of ultimate collapse in her new novel. We meet Josh and Lou, a couple who have shared fourteen years of marriage together, weathering the good times and the bad. But lately Lou has been feeling like she can no longer continue living in an unhappy marriage. Lou must ultimately decide if it is worth continuing on with her marriage to Josh, or end it once and for all. So Lou gives her marriage an expiry date of one year. During this year Lou sets some goals and challenges to complete to help put her marriage back on track. From counselling and separation time, Lou is willing to try these different activities to help stimulate her downward spiraling marriage. But Josh isn’t always receptive to these adjustments and with some past secrets bubbling to the surface, it seems that this marriage may not be able to be saved. Holly Wainwright takes a no holds back approach to the ins and outs of this marriage, delivering moments of semblance, humour and realism. The question is – will this couple find a way to salvage their marriage, or is it high time that is ended?
Sometimes books surprise you. This was the case with I Give My Marriage a Year. I went into Holly Wainwright’s new novel with the opinion that it was going to be a much like her debut, The Mummy Bloggers. I will say I enjoyed Wainwright’s debut, but I didn’t absolutely love it. I have to admit that I shelved Give My Marriage a Year as a traditional chick lit style novel, which is a genre I have battled to like of late. Thankfully, Holly Wainwright’s third novel proved its worth, I really connected with this novel from start to finish.
I Give My Marriage a Year begins and ends with the starring married couple of this new tale, Josh and Lou. I did find I grappled with the character of Lou. Even though I shared many things in common with Lou, I ultimately struggled to like her. I also disagreed with Lou’s suspect choices and her treatment of Josh. In fact, even though Wainwright alternates the points of view in this book evenly between Josh and Lou, I found it was Josh that I aligned with. This is not to say that Josh is perfect, but he was quietly flawed and I was able to sympathise with him above Lou. I actually felt sorry for Josh in many sequences of the novel and I wondered if ultimately he was ill-suited to Lou and better off moving on, rather than letting Lou call all the shots! Although it is clear that I didn’t warm to Lou, I loved Wainwright’s presentation of these characters. They appeared to be deeply authentic and the characters reminded me of family members, friends and general acquaintances. This could also be observed in Wainwright’s support cast, the highlight being the children of Lou and Josh, along with Lou’s enigmatic friend Gretchen, who all bring something to the overall proceedings of the novel. They were valuable additions to this life literature tale.
I think I connected to I Give My Marriage a Year due to the age, marriage length and life situation of the protagonists, who all seemed to mirror my own circumstances in some way. I could completely connect to the parenting issues, financial concerns, career issues, hobbies, interests, emotions, intimacy levels and temptations that arise throughout the progression of this marriage. What I also liked about I Give My Marriage a Year was the focus Wainwright gave to the past history of this marriage. We see the initial beginnings and spark of love that ignites between Josh and Lou. We witness their relationship flourish into marriage, children and then take a fall. Using a blend of insight, raw honesty, wit and realism, the reader follows this emotional journey of private pain, revelations, ire, sadness, affection and hope as this couple move to a final decision. Wainwright chooses to suspend the decision of the marriage expiry date until the bitter end of the novel, so do stick around as it is well worth it!
I Give My Marriage a Year is a thought provoking contemporary domestic fiction title. A modern tale with broad appeal, Holly Wainwright’s third novel should not be missed!
*Thanks extended to Pan Macmillan for providing a free copy of this book for review purposes.
I Give My Marriage a Year is book #108 of the 2020 Australian Women Writers Challenge
‘I decided in January, Josh’, she called up to him, ‘that this is the year of make or break.’
‘Make or break?’ He pushed the goggles back on his head with one hand, the other still clutching the saw.
‘Us’, Lou said, her face turned up to him. ‘One year to decide if we should stay together or not.’
I Give My Marriage a Year is a realistic, honest and considered look at a marriage in crisis. From the author of the bestselling novel The Mummy Bloggers, Holly Wainwright offers a balanced and thoughtful presentation of both partner’s views in regards to the possible demise of a long standing relationship. A book that holds universal appeal, I think I Give My Marriage a Year will strike a chord with all readers, no matter their marital status.
Holly Wainwright carefully considers all options in a marriage on the verge of ultimate collapse in her new novel. We meet Josh and Lou, a couple who have shared fourteen years of marriage together, weathering the good times and the bad. But lately Lou has been feeling like she can no longer continue living in an unhappy marriage. Lou must ultimately decide if it is worth continuing on with her marriage to Josh, or end it once and for all. So Lou gives her marriage an expiry date of one year. During this year Lou sets some goals and challenges to complete to help put her marriage back on track. From counselling and separation time, Lou is willing to try these different activities to help stimulate her downward spiraling marriage. But Josh isn’t always receptive to these adjustments and with some past secrets bubbling to the surface, it seems that this marriage may not be able to be saved. Holly Wainwright takes a no holds back approach to the ins and outs of this marriage, delivering moments of semblance, humour and realism. The question is – will this couple find a way to salvage their marriage, or is it high time that is ended?
Sometimes books surprise you. This was the case with I Give My Marriage a Year. I went into Holly Wainwright’s new novel with the opinion that it was going to be a much like her debut, The Mummy Bloggers. I will say I enjoyed Wainwright’s debut, but I didn’t absolutely love it. I have to admit that I shelved Give My Marriage a Year as a traditional chick lit style novel, which is a genre I have battled to like of late. Thankfully, Holly Wainwright’s third novel proved its worth, I really connected with this novel from start to finish.
I Give My Marriage a Year begins and ends with the starring married couple of this new tale, Josh and Lou. I did find I grappled with the character of Lou. Even though I shared many things in common with Lou, I ultimately struggled to like her. I also disagreed with Lou’s suspect choices and her treatment of Josh. In fact, even though Wainwright alternates the points of view in this book evenly between Josh and Lou, I found it was Josh that I aligned with. This is not to say that Josh is perfect, but he was quietly flawed and I was able to sympathise with him above Lou. I actually felt sorry for Josh in many sequences of the novel and I wondered if ultimately he was ill-suited to Lou and better off moving on, rather than letting Lou call all the shots! Although it is clear that I didn’t warm to Lou, I loved Wainwright’s presentation of these characters. They appeared to be deeply authentic and the characters reminded me of family members, friends and general acquaintances. This could also be observed in Wainwright’s support cast, the highlight being the children of Lou and Josh, along with Lou’s enigmatic friend Gretchen, who all bring something to the overall proceedings of the novel. They were valuable additions to this life literature tale.
I think I connected to I Give My Marriage a Year due to the age, marriage length and life situation of the protagonists, who all seemed to mirror my own circumstances in some way. I could completely connect to the parenting issues, financial concerns, career issues, hobbies, interests, emotions, intimacy levels and temptations that arise throughout the progression of this marriage. What I also liked about I Give My Marriage a Year was the focus Wainwright gave to the past history of this marriage. We see the initial beginnings and spark of love that ignites between Josh and Lou. We witness their relationship flourish into marriage, children and then take a fall. Using a blend of insight, raw honesty, wit and realism, the reader follows this emotional journey of private pain, revelations, ire, sadness, affection and hope as this couple move to a final decision. Wainwright chooses to suspend the decision of the marriage expiry date until the bitter end of the novel, so do stick around as it is well worth it!
I Give My Marriage a Year is a thought provoking contemporary domestic fiction title. A modern tale with broad appeal, Holly Wainwright’s third novel should not be missed!
*Thanks extended to Pan Macmillan for providing a free copy of this book for review purposes.
I Give My Marriage a Year is book #108 of the 2020 Australian Women Writers Challenge
June 2, 2025
Funny yet serious, relatable and thoughtful exploration of life, love and a modern marriage.
September 11, 2020
1.5 I just can’t round it up ... I’m very much in the minority here but I found it was so cliched
September 10, 2020
I had high hopes but unfortunately found this book hard to get through. The only relief I found was in the flashbacks to the main characters’ youth as a couple - but even this is tinged with sadness as it simply tells a story of a couple who fell into “getting old” and out of love. I love the premise, but there wasn’t anything moving the storyline along for me, as I felt the marriage had no hope to begin with.
September 20, 2020
Sadly I found this book dull and tedious, I just didn’t care about the characters, whether they stayed together or not. The character of Lou was one dimensional and the quirky best friend trope tiresome. I’m kicking myself for being swayed by the promotion and purchasing such a forgettable (and somewhat irritating) read.
September 9, 2020
I have some complex feelings about this book. I found it quite a hard read – it was difficult to read two people in such a bad place and watching pretty much one person punish another, whether intentionally or not, was definitely difficult.
Lou and Josh have been together or married for fourteen years and they have two children, around 8 & 5. Lou is a teacher and Josh wanted to be a musician but fell into carpentry to pay the bills and he’s still doing it, all these years later. They have a lot of the usual pressures of those who are married with children and living in Sydney – financial, distribution of the emotional load, differences in what they want out of life, especially now. It feels like Lou has really hit a wall – after being Josh’s wife for so long, she’s wondering if she wants to go another fourteen years being his wife and then another fourteen years after that and etc. Plus they have something that they’ve never really dealt with, a decision they made a few years ago that Lou is struggling with, that she blames Josh for and she’s been pushing him in certain ways ever since. Whether she realises that’s what she’s doing or not, it’s basically what it boils down to. And Josh, although he has come to know about it, has chosen to bury his head in the sand about it and refuse to really acknowledge it or discuss it. Lou makes a decision on New Year’s Day, that she’ll give the marriage a year, trying a different thing each month to help try and resurrect it. And if she still feels the same at the end of the year, she’ll let the marriage go.
My problem started with Lou making this decision, despite what she was doing, or had been doing, at the time. Also the first choice she makes is for them to have sex every day, despite the fact that she seems to really not want Josh to touch her and it has to happen every day. No matter what. Josh also doesn’t know she’s doing the whole ‘giving my marriage a year’ thing at first and he’s sort of dragged along on a ride that he doesn’t really know has an end date/destination.
Both Lou and Josh have made a lot of mistakes and have some significant flaws in how they approach things but man did I find it hard to connect with or sympathise with Lou. I think because of the way she reacted after the issue revolving around that decision they made a few years ago. I couldn’t really get on board with that and I found myself strongly resenting her as a character because of the choices she made. She had a lot of opportunities to stop what she was doing and she chose not to, and perhaps you could argue that she punishing herself as well as Josh, for both the decision and her reaction to it but it made me look at her and think why are you doing this and also, why are you even still married? There are times when it seems like she really can’t bear Josh and the whole ‘I give my marriage a year’ thing feels honestly, more like she’s torturing him than anything else. It actually felt like Lou checked out a little while ago and the year is just dragging out something. Josh always makes it very clear that he loves Lou, that all he wants is to be married to her and nothing else. He’s not a perfect husband by far – and it takes him a very long time to realise how much of the emotional load Lou carries in their lives, regarding both the home and the girls and this is often a very common gripe in marriages. A lot of the ins and outs of the life of people married with children fall to the women and they know things – the precise schedule of their children, what items they need from the grocery store, when the shower needs to be cleaned, etc whereas men, even if they’re more than willing to pull 50/50 need to be told what to do, rather than just seeing something and doing it. This is Lou’s constant complaint about Josh. He will say to her “what can I do to help” which infuriates her because telling him is just one more thing that she has to do. But I sort of also felt like hey, fourteen years has gone past and you haven’t sat down and had a conversation about this? About how Josh needs to really familiarise himself with the ins and outs of what it takes to maintain a busy home life with two children. Lou is one of the “it’s just easier if I do it myself but then I’ll complain about it because I’ve had to do it all myself”. I also felt the way her mother treated Josh was absolutely appalling and Lou was no where near as supportive of her husband as she should’ve been, nor did she dress her mother down enough when she was horrifically rude to him. It’s okay not want something different, to not want the suburban house with the backyard. It’s okay to not have a fancy city career as well. Annabelle was a horrible person, be it to her own children or their partners. What she said to Josh at his own birthday was inexcusable and the attempts to justify it quite pathetic.
Unfortunately, I didn’t really buy into the ending of this. It just didn’t seem logical to me, after everything that had happened and been revealed. I also think the book didn’t really take the opportunity to showcase the effects of this “year” on the children either. I feel as though this was very well written, because it elicited a strong emotional response from me and it honestly felt like I was in the middle of this miserable marriage and I could see and feel very well how the characters were feeling. But I didn’t enjoy the experience, to be honest. I hated almost everyone in the end, I didn’t actually feel like I was rooting for Josh and Lou to stay a couple. I couldn’t see it. Actually, I didn’t want to see it, after everything they’d done to each other. I did not feel supportive or connected.
***A copy of this book was provided by the publisher via NetGalley for the purpose of an honest review***
Lou and Josh have been together or married for fourteen years and they have two children, around 8 & 5. Lou is a teacher and Josh wanted to be a musician but fell into carpentry to pay the bills and he’s still doing it, all these years later. They have a lot of the usual pressures of those who are married with children and living in Sydney – financial, distribution of the emotional load, differences in what they want out of life, especially now. It feels like Lou has really hit a wall – after being Josh’s wife for so long, she’s wondering if she wants to go another fourteen years being his wife and then another fourteen years after that and etc. Plus they have something that they’ve never really dealt with, a decision they made a few years ago that Lou is struggling with, that she blames Josh for and she’s been pushing him in certain ways ever since. Whether she realises that’s what she’s doing or not, it’s basically what it boils down to. And Josh, although he has come to know about it, has chosen to bury his head in the sand about it and refuse to really acknowledge it or discuss it. Lou makes a decision on New Year’s Day, that she’ll give the marriage a year, trying a different thing each month to help try and resurrect it. And if she still feels the same at the end of the year, she’ll let the marriage go.
My problem started with Lou making this decision, despite what she was doing, or had been doing, at the time. Also the first choice she makes is for them to have sex every day, despite the fact that she seems to really not want Josh to touch her and it has to happen every day. No matter what. Josh also doesn’t know she’s doing the whole ‘giving my marriage a year’ thing at first and he’s sort of dragged along on a ride that he doesn’t really know has an end date/destination.
Both Lou and Josh have made a lot of mistakes and have some significant flaws in how they approach things but man did I find it hard to connect with or sympathise with Lou. I think because of the way she reacted after the issue revolving around that decision they made a few years ago. I couldn’t really get on board with that and I found myself strongly resenting her as a character because of the choices she made. She had a lot of opportunities to stop what she was doing and she chose not to, and perhaps you could argue that she punishing herself as well as Josh, for both the decision and her reaction to it but it made me look at her and think why are you doing this and also, why are you even still married? There are times when it seems like she really can’t bear Josh and the whole ‘I give my marriage a year’ thing feels honestly, more like she’s torturing him than anything else. It actually felt like Lou checked out a little while ago and the year is just dragging out something. Josh always makes it very clear that he loves Lou, that all he wants is to be married to her and nothing else. He’s not a perfect husband by far – and it takes him a very long time to realise how much of the emotional load Lou carries in their lives, regarding both the home and the girls and this is often a very common gripe in marriages. A lot of the ins and outs of the life of people married with children fall to the women and they know things – the precise schedule of their children, what items they need from the grocery store, when the shower needs to be cleaned, etc whereas men, even if they’re more than willing to pull 50/50 need to be told what to do, rather than just seeing something and doing it. This is Lou’s constant complaint about Josh. He will say to her “what can I do to help” which infuriates her because telling him is just one more thing that she has to do. But I sort of also felt like hey, fourteen years has gone past and you haven’t sat down and had a conversation about this? About how Josh needs to really familiarise himself with the ins and outs of what it takes to maintain a busy home life with two children. Lou is one of the “it’s just easier if I do it myself but then I’ll complain about it because I’ve had to do it all myself”. I also felt the way her mother treated Josh was absolutely appalling and Lou was no where near as supportive of her husband as she should’ve been, nor did she dress her mother down enough when she was horrifically rude to him. It’s okay not want something different, to not want the suburban house with the backyard. It’s okay to not have a fancy city career as well. Annabelle was a horrible person, be it to her own children or their partners. What she said to Josh at his own birthday was inexcusable and the attempts to justify it quite pathetic.
Unfortunately, I didn’t really buy into the ending of this. It just didn’t seem logical to me, after everything that had happened and been revealed. I also think the book didn’t really take the opportunity to showcase the effects of this “year” on the children either. I feel as though this was very well written, because it elicited a strong emotional response from me and it honestly felt like I was in the middle of this miserable marriage and I could see and feel very well how the characters were feeling. But I didn’t enjoy the experience, to be honest. I hated almost everyone in the end, I didn’t actually feel like I was rooting for Josh and Lou to stay a couple. I couldn’t see it. Actually, I didn’t want to see it, after everything they’d done to each other. I did not feel supportive or connected.
***A copy of this book was provided by the publisher via NetGalley for the purpose of an honest review***
August 25, 2020
“How do you decide to leave this whole life you’ve built, this family you’ve made, this home you’ve created? The secrets you’ve told, the fears you’ve shared . . . These children you’ve made. How do you decide to just leave?”
After fourteen years of marriage, Lou has realised she is no longer happy, but she feels she can’t just leave, for the sake of both her unsuspecting husband, Josh, and their young daughters, Stella and Rita, she has to try everything to save it. So Lou decides to give their marriage a year, setting tasks for each month that self help books suggest may help repair the rift between her and her Josh, from having sex every day for a month, to sharing a fun activity, to marriage counselling, before making a final decision.
“I give my marriage a year. Bold. Underlined. I give my marriage a year. Exhale..... I’m going to try everything I can to save my marriage, Lou wrote into her phone. And if it doesn’t work I’m going to let it go. Exhale.”
Told from the alternating perspectives of Lou and Josh, Holly Wainright presents a thoughtful, witty, and poignant portrait of a floundering marriage in I Give My Marriage A Year.
Shifting between the past and present, Wainright sensitively explores the changes in, and the complexities of, a long term marriage, from the carefree bliss of courtship to the irritants, disappointments, compromises, and crises that can erode the foundation of a relationship.
Lou and Josh are well developed characters, whose strengths, flaws and emotions felt authentic. I empathised with both characters, familiar as I am with the ordinary stressors of marriage - finances, parenting, intimacy, housework, and life goals. I felt both Lou and Josh had valid grievances, and though it’s tempting to take sides, I think Wainwright did well to balance the culpability of each in the breakdown of their relationship.
The supporting characters are also well drawn and believable, and contribute effectively to the story. Wainwright shows how the parents’ of Lou and Josh influence the couple’s thoughts about marriage, as well as the experiences of their siblings and friends. Lou’s best friend, Gretchen, provides interesting contrast with her less conventional ideas about relationships. I was also impressed with the author’s realistic portrayal of the children, something many authors struggle with.
Well-written, thought-provoking, and absorbing, though there is plenty of drama and angst to be found in I Give My Marriage A Year, there is also humour and optimism. I quickly found myself invested in the story of Lou and Josh’s marriage, and was never sure if they would reconcile or not, until the last pages.
After fourteen years of marriage, Lou has realised she is no longer happy, but she feels she can’t just leave, for the sake of both her unsuspecting husband, Josh, and their young daughters, Stella and Rita, she has to try everything to save it. So Lou decides to give their marriage a year, setting tasks for each month that self help books suggest may help repair the rift between her and her Josh, from having sex every day for a month, to sharing a fun activity, to marriage counselling, before making a final decision.
“I give my marriage a year. Bold. Underlined. I give my marriage a year. Exhale..... I’m going to try everything I can to save my marriage, Lou wrote into her phone. And if it doesn’t work I’m going to let it go. Exhale.”
Told from the alternating perspectives of Lou and Josh, Holly Wainright presents a thoughtful, witty, and poignant portrait of a floundering marriage in I Give My Marriage A Year.
Shifting between the past and present, Wainright sensitively explores the changes in, and the complexities of, a long term marriage, from the carefree bliss of courtship to the irritants, disappointments, compromises, and crises that can erode the foundation of a relationship.
Lou and Josh are well developed characters, whose strengths, flaws and emotions felt authentic. I empathised with both characters, familiar as I am with the ordinary stressors of marriage - finances, parenting, intimacy, housework, and life goals. I felt both Lou and Josh had valid grievances, and though it’s tempting to take sides, I think Wainwright did well to balance the culpability of each in the breakdown of their relationship.
The supporting characters are also well drawn and believable, and contribute effectively to the story. Wainwright shows how the parents’ of Lou and Josh influence the couple’s thoughts about marriage, as well as the experiences of their siblings and friends. Lou’s best friend, Gretchen, provides interesting contrast with her less conventional ideas about relationships. I was also impressed with the author’s realistic portrayal of the children, something many authors struggle with.
Well-written, thought-provoking, and absorbing, though there is plenty of drama and angst to be found in I Give My Marriage A Year, there is also humour and optimism. I quickly found myself invested in the story of Lou and Josh’s marriage, and was never sure if they would reconcile or not, until the last pages.
October 4, 2020
Quite a compelling and easy read, good for a holiday. Unfortunately I found the main characters fairly unlikeable, especially Lou. The ending was a little abrupt. I liked Holly’s first book better. 2.5 stars for this.
September 21, 2020
I guess the fact that by the end of this book I didn't care whether the marriage survives is a testament to the fact that this wasn't really my jam.
August 6, 2020
Lou and Josh have been together 14 years and have two young daughters. But lately their marriage hasn't been so great and Lou has finally set a target, she gives her marriage one final year to work. She sets new tasks for her and her husband which are quite funny and I loved the antics to begin with. That said, it wasn't all jokes and there was definitely a serious side to this novel, considering past mistakes, secrets and hurts and how much a couple can withstand before they call it quits. The family dynamics with supporting characters also really added to this, with spanners thrown in the works and interfering relatives or in laws that we can all relate to at some point in our lives.
Despite the fact I didn't truly like either of the main characters, I enjoyed that they were both so flawed, as we all are, and so realistic, relatable. As a sydney sider, I also enjoyed the local references and scenery. While I had a love hate relationship with the characters this was a book that I did enjoy and will remember for some time to come. Unique and beautifully written. I look forward to more by this author.
Despite the fact I didn't truly like either of the main characters, I enjoyed that they were both so flawed, as we all are, and so realistic, relatable. As a sydney sider, I also enjoyed the local references and scenery. While I had a love hate relationship with the characters this was a book that I did enjoy and will remember for some time to come. Unique and beautifully written. I look forward to more by this author.
October 14, 2020
Shit. And painful.
December 4, 2020
Sooo long and drawn out with an unlikable main character 😴
August 29, 2020
Thanks the Netgalley for ARC.
I wanted to like this book having read Holly’s other books however I found the characters very unlikable. The story flashes backwards and forwards however the detail was quite tedious and long winded.
I wanted to like this book having read Holly’s other books however I found the characters very unlikable. The story flashes backwards and forwards however the detail was quite tedious and long winded.
December 5, 2020
I was hoping for more but unfortunately didn't get it.
This is a story of a 14 year old marriage, including 2 kids, and a woman that basically has a midlife crisis and considers leaving her husband but decides to give the marriage a year and see how she feels about it then.
I was hoping it would have a bit of 'men are from Mars, women are from Venus' about it, exposing marital spats and showing them from both perspectives, making fun of it and being relatable to most people (women) in a heterosexual monogomous relationship.
Sadly, all the issues that came up were very much specific to this couple in particular. They had a pretty messed up scene really and I couldn't relate to any of it. None. But when you talk to female friends, there are many common themes across relationships. Coming up with something more universal shouldn't have been so hard. It was disappointing.
This is a story of a 14 year old marriage, including 2 kids, and a woman that basically has a midlife crisis and considers leaving her husband but decides to give the marriage a year and see how she feels about it then.
I was hoping it would have a bit of 'men are from Mars, women are from Venus' about it, exposing marital spats and showing them from both perspectives, making fun of it and being relatable to most people (women) in a heterosexual monogomous relationship.
Sadly, all the issues that came up were very much specific to this couple in particular. They had a pretty messed up scene really and I couldn't relate to any of it. None. But when you talk to female friends, there are many common themes across relationships. Coming up with something more universal shouldn't have been so hard. It was disappointing.
October 3, 2021
A very thought-provoking story, set in the familiar backdrop of Sydney suburbs and recent events, about the minutia of relationships and the messiness of life.
I Give My Marriage A Year is one of my top reads of the year so far — if not the top read — with its boisterous drama, cringe-worthy mistakes, and unflinching honesty. Confusing as it was, the jumping timeline of the plot was necessary to bring to light the traumas of the past and their ripple effects on the present. And though I can’t speak from experience about the events in the plot, I felt every word and emotion from all sides of the story and all sides of the characters as they navigated love, family, and humanity. Five stars.
I Give My Marriage A Year is one of my top reads of the year so far — if not the top read — with its boisterous drama, cringe-worthy mistakes, and unflinching honesty. Confusing as it was, the jumping timeline of the plot was necessary to bring to light the traumas of the past and their ripple effects on the present. And though I can’t speak from experience about the events in the plot, I felt every word and emotion from all sides of the story and all sides of the characters as they navigated love, family, and humanity. Five stars.
January 18, 2025
This book is okay for a fun read, if you call reading about someone’s marital break down fun. I found it in a street library and it was fairly easy entertaining. Nothing groundbreaking.
August 4, 2021
[pls don't even consider reading this if you hate cheating and books with no plot, trust me]
it's a bit weird that i spent months trying to find another book that gave me the same rush as sally rooney and it ended up being a random one i saw on the library shelf and only grabbed because of the title. while it doesn't have the same writing, age of the characters, and millennial commentary as rooney, it makes the mundanity of life feel intoxicating. this book quite literally has no plot and skips over so many monumental events that other novels would revolve chapters around - their wedding day and birth of their children as an example - but i felt so attached to the characters and invested in their story.
it's a bit weird that i spent months trying to find another book that gave me the same rush as sally rooney and it ended up being a random one i saw on the library shelf and only grabbed because of the title. while it doesn't have the same writing, age of the characters, and millennial commentary as rooney, it makes the mundanity of life feel intoxicating. this book quite literally has no plot and skips over so many monumental events that other novels would revolve chapters around - their wedding day and birth of their children as an example - but i felt so attached to the characters and invested in their story.
August 12, 2021
marriage problems books are always a serve for some reason
December 1, 2021
“I Give My Marriage A Year” by Holly Wainwright
Reviewed on 2 Dec. 2021
I know I am in the minority here, but I couldn’t get into this book. There was nothing about Lou or Josh that made me want to get to know them more. The idea of the story was cool, but the more I listened to the audiobook, the less I became interested in Lou’s adventures. At one point, she was on her hands and knees on the floor of a party trying to avoid the guy she liked who she just saw hooking up with another girl, which caused her to suddenly be picked up by a handsome man who she just started making out with and whom she eventually ends up marrying. I thought about how Lou is totally not the kind of chick I’d hang with now or want to get to know in my spare time.
The characters are flat, the stories are not entertaining, and I didn’t want to finish it, and wish I hadn’t by the time I finally did!
I thought I would learn something fun from this, but the only thing I got out of it is a challenge for my husband and and myself to have sex each day for 30 days straight! So for that, I’ve rounded the rating up from 1.5 stars to 2 stars!
Reviewed on 2 Dec. 2021
I know I am in the minority here, but I couldn’t get into this book. There was nothing about Lou or Josh that made me want to get to know them more. The idea of the story was cool, but the more I listened to the audiobook, the less I became interested in Lou’s adventures. At one point, she was on her hands and knees on the floor of a party trying to avoid the guy she liked who she just saw hooking up with another girl, which caused her to suddenly be picked up by a handsome man who she just started making out with and whom she eventually ends up marrying. I thought about how Lou is totally not the kind of chick I’d hang with now or want to get to know in my spare time.
The characters are flat, the stories are not entertaining, and I didn’t want to finish it, and wish I hadn’t by the time I finally did!
I thought I would learn something fun from this, but the only thing I got out of it is a challenge for my husband and and myself to have sex each day for 30 days straight! So for that, I’ve rounded the rating up from 1.5 stars to 2 stars!
October 1, 2020
Lou and Joel have been together for 14 years. This story is set in Sydney and is a contemporary examination of the highlights and challenges of the every day issues associated with marriage, children, work and mid life. It is not dramatic or judging.
The time line goes backwards and forwards, starting at a point where Lou wonders if their marriage is sustainable, and decides to give it all for a year to test whether that is the case. A later chapter covers the meeting of each other, the heady days of the early relationship, the morph into marriage, which then follows with very familiar trajectories of the birth of children, juggling family life, dealing with complex relationships with in-laws and others.
Chapters are written alternatively from each of the two main protagonists perspective which shows the complexity of relationships and understanding from different understandings.
It was a book about middle Australia dealing with issues faced by many people in an empathic way.
The time line goes backwards and forwards, starting at a point where Lou wonders if their marriage is sustainable, and decides to give it all for a year to test whether that is the case. A later chapter covers the meeting of each other, the heady days of the early relationship, the morph into marriage, which then follows with very familiar trajectories of the birth of children, juggling family life, dealing with complex relationships with in-laws and others.
Chapters are written alternatively from each of the two main protagonists perspective which shows the complexity of relationships and understanding from different understandings.
It was a book about middle Australia dealing with issues faced by many people in an empathic way.
August 4, 2020
How far would you go to save your marriage?
After 2 kids, a home, careers and 14 years of marriage Lou tell Josh she’s giving their marriage a year to decide wether or not they should stay together.
Every month for a year Lou sets new goals and test for them to try, from sex everyday for a month to seeing a therapist. Secrets are kept quiet until they combust and everything is laid on the table. Can you really forgive someone and move forward?
I loved that the book flipped from current day to the past to piece together their different upbringings, challenging family dynamic and their love story across the years.
It all comes to a head under dire circumstances and they both decide what they want in life and if they want a happily ever after together or apart!
After 2 kids, a home, careers and 14 years of marriage Lou tell Josh she’s giving their marriage a year to decide wether or not they should stay together.
Every month for a year Lou sets new goals and test for them to try, from sex everyday for a month to seeing a therapist. Secrets are kept quiet until they combust and everything is laid on the table. Can you really forgive someone and move forward?
I loved that the book flipped from current day to the past to piece together their different upbringings, challenging family dynamic and their love story across the years.
It all comes to a head under dire circumstances and they both decide what they want in life and if they want a happily ever after together or apart!
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