Monkey Mind: Was Dein Verstand Dir sagen will

by Ralph De La Rosa, Ingrid Ickler (Translator)

Hope for all those who want to meditate but feel they can't because they think too much.

“My mind is so busy, I really need to meditate.”

“My mind is so busy, there’s no way I can meditate.”

Familiar dilemma? These days just about all of us know we should be meditating, but that doesn’t make it any easier to sit down and face the repetitive thoughts careening around our brains—seemingly pointless, sometimes hurtful, nearly always hard to control. Rather than quitting meditation or trying to wall off the monkey mind, Ralph De La Rosa suggests asking yourself a question: If you were to stop demonizing your monkey mind, would it have anything to teach you? In a roundabout way, could repetitive thoughts be pointing us in the direction of personal—and even societal—transformation?

Poignant and entertaining, The Monkey Is the Messenger offers a range of evidence-based, somatic, and trauma-informed insights and practices drawn from De La Rosa’s study of neuroscience and psychology and his long practice of meditation and yoga. Here at last—a remedy for all those who want to meditate but suppose they can’t because they think too much.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Buddhism, Spirituality, Meditation, Psychology, Mental Health

362 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 13, 2018

Reviews

[Jessi ❤️ H. Vojsk [if villain, why hot?] · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m sure some of us have thought about meditation in some point of our life.
(Maybe you’re thinking about it at the moment?)
Maybe you tried it and loved it. Or failed.
I’m sure many of us think that
meditation = not thinking.
Or maybe you have the feeling that it is wrong to think anything while meditating.
But that’s the problem.
Even our scientists say:
our brain can’t be quiet.
Our brain can’t stop thinking.
So instead of feeling miserable while meditating and giving up because some tiny little thought came your way, look at this book and try some of the exercises.
It shows us a way with being able to think while meditating, just accepting the thoughts and working with out inner mind monkey.

The first thing I noticed was the easy writing that made you “flow” through the pages.
It wasn’t filled with heavy, slow writing that made you stop or give up.
It takes you by the hand and shows you the way.
Literally. The author shows us many great exercises that I will definitely continue to put into my every day routine.

Also the author looked at Meditation from many different perspectives and angles, giving us the freedom to form our own mind and still showing us all the important things.

All in all definitely one of my favorite mindfulness/ meditation books I read in a very long time. All the others made me give it up, but not this one!
Definitely a recommendation.

[Literary Redhead · Rating 5 out of 5]

“The Monkey Is the Messenger: Meditation and What Your Busy Mind Is Trying to Tell You” by Ralph De La Rosa reframes the concept of a mind that won’t quiet down during meditation.

The author, a psychotherapist, life coach, rogue meditation teacher, storyteller, and musician whose works has been featured in CNN, SELF, GQ, Women's Health, and Elephant Journal, among others, suggests asking yourself a question: If you were to stop challenging your monkey mind, what would it teach you? Could our repeating thoughts point us in the direction of personal and even societal transformation?

Ever inspiring, “The Monkey Is the Messenger” offers evidence-based, somatic and trauma-informed insights and practices drawn from De La Rosa’s study of neuroscience and psychology and his long practice of meditation and yoga. At last, a remedy for all us who fear we can’t meditate ... because we suppose we think too much. Highly recommended!

Pub Date 13 Nov 2018

Thanks to Shambhala Publications, Inc. and NetGalley for the review copy. Opinions are fully mine.

#MonkeyIsTheMessenger #NetGalley

[Suzanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Before reading this book, I’d given up on meditation because I couldn’t clear my mind of flitting thoughts that seemed like correction gurus. Now I understand those thoughts are loyal carriers wanting me to hear their important messages. They are all about my best interest and survival.
Less and less do I try to silence them and make them go away. I don’t fearfully blame them for my anxiousness or causing stress but know they are well intended and giving me a report on my inner state. More often I converse with them asking, “What’s up,” or holding my arms open inviting them to come closer for comfort.
Sometimes they don’t trust me to come near but it feels right to keep being there for them. I’m sleeping better.
Thought Participation is how I think of meditation now.
Instead of believing I’m full of problems and need to import better software, I’m starting to think the real me was always correctly installed but quite covered with lead pipes leading in the wrong direction.
Instead of focusing on my breath, it’s my muscles and body sensations that give me the most clues to my internal state. De La Rosa gives much evidence about our bodies being where our sub/unconscious lives, not deep and unreachable in our imaginations.
My 4 star rating is because sometimes the author anthropomorphized explanations of how the brain and our thinking works when I wanted scientific understanding. Pairing both would have been the most helpful to me because the monkey words give me an anchor to understand some of the esoteric scientific concepts.

[ConstantReader · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book, like all my meditation books, with a pencil in hand. I had to sharpen my pencil over and over again because I underlined so many great lines, explanations, definitions, and concepts. I am entirely impressed with how seemingly effortlessly RDLR explains complex encounters I've had in my meditation sits over the years.
This book is a springboard - read it and take the jump. It seems more like a workbook, and I've been using it as such (there are recordings included with this book, see "List of Practices" before the Foreword). Under this book's direction (chapter 13, pp. 223 - 226) I did a meditation to work with one my exiles, and she had information for me. Her info made total sense, and I take it to be true, and not a creative fabrication. I woke up the next day feeling lighter. I'm so grateful.
This book is exceptionally well-written and well-paced. It does not read like a first book, which may be a sign that there are more to come. RDLR fearlessly shares his trauma with the reader, and that is nothing short of heroic. If he were to write a memoir, I would read it in a heartbeat. I feel the meditation community here in NYC needs his story -- it has helped encourage one of my parts to tell the truth about things she has done, and to start/continue healing. This book - more specifically, practicing this book's guidance - is now part of my self-healing process, and I recommend RDLR's teachings wholeheartedly.

[Michael Sasson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! Buddhist lovingkindness and psych Internal Family Systems work... Who'd a thunk it? May we all awaken and be free!

[Nancy Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Monkey Mind: Imagine a nuclear reactor being used to power an army of hamsters running on treadmills—and then every so often those hamsters, much to your surprise, turn to you and say something meaningful.

When we allow our experience to dictate what we feel, think, and do, it’s become our boss. When we fight against our experience or try to blot it out in some way, it’s become our enemy. When we meet our experience with curiosity, allowance, and even kindness, the experience has become our friend, or an ally.

Each morning when I reach for a coffee cup in the cupboard, although I think that I want the cup, what I really want is the space inside the cup so I can fill it with coffee. That empty space is created by the boundaries, the form of the cup itself, but it is the space inside the cup that makes it useful.

There is only the way it is now. And then the way it is now. And then the way it is now.

[Kiersten · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone should read this book! The author breaks down not only the process of meditation, but the importance of meditating and what our thoughts are trying to tell us. Also includes guided meditations to help with self-love, empathy, and past traumas.

[LeeLee Lulu · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is an unscientific book about meditation. (It was in a book bay near the library checkout). It posits that psychological trauma embeds itself in body memory. You're supposed to meditate yourself into the past and gently soothe the past self using loving-kindness meditation.

Alas, there's a section called "Not All Mammals" that literally compares humans to sea turtles. And yes, the author explicitly refers to sea turtles as "mammals."

I had to turn to my husband and be like "uh, so... tell me if I'm crazy... but... sea turtles are amphibians or something, right?"
He said, "I'm pretty sure they're reptiles." (Note: that's correct.)
I said, "Definitely NOT mammals, though."
He said, "Absolutely fucking not."
I had to read him the sea turtle thing aloud.
He kept groaning and telling me to stop reading hippie-dippie nonsense.

Meditation can be pretty cool; however, it's hard to find people who can discuss it without sounding like they're on a floating cloud of pure glitter-ganja.

This was not the book for me.

[Roger · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book on meditation practice and the psychological aspects of human nature was excellent. The author's experience as a recovered addict, meditation teacher and psychotherapist encapsulates his expertise in meditation techniques and human nature with his life experience as a recovering addict into a deep dive into the human psyche and the benefits of a meditation practice. The book has a spiritual connotation to it but doesn't espouse or denigrate any religion. Anyone can read this book and get a lot out of it, regardless if you meditate or not. I highly recommend it.

[Juanita · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book! I have to admit, it took me a long time to read it because it made me uncomfortable at times, but you don't grow as a person in comfort. I opened my mind, powered through, and I loved it. The beginning is well-suited for anyone, at any level of meditation, and the middle to end is for anyone BUT only those with an open mind. Prepare yourself for a journey :) I highly recommend it.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was full of great metaphor examples that helped make understanding concepts easy. It got pretty heady at times but still remained clear cut and easy to follow. The whole thing was very insightful. Occasionally you might have to take a step back when things get heady/technical. A bit of it is really in the weeds.

[Gerry · Rating 5 out of 5]

De La Rosa’s unique life experience gives him a perspective and an authority not found with other teachers and mindfulness writers. Beginning meditators heat about The Monkey and are taught to treat the creature as an enemy. This writer takes the stand that the Monkey is actually an ally, to be respected and enlisted as a valuable teacher.

[Steven · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot of good ideas, I would have liked more of the science. I will probably buy a copy of the audiobook since it has nice meditations lead by the author. I have some concerns that this rides the line of sudo science.

[Jeff · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the fact that intention & breathwork were both featured . In my 20’s , I had panic attacks and breathwork got me through them. We could all stand to embrace a bit more intentional calm in our life,this book is a good guide towards how to accomplish that.

[Hapzydeco · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ralph De La Rosa uses the proposition of the monkey mind as a springboard for calming the mind. If the reader was expecting a meditation guide they might be disappointed.

[Mindy · Rating 2 out of 5]

A bit advanced, couldn't really get into it

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good meditation and breathing techniques to quiet the mind.

[Dana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ralph De La Rosa's "The Monkey is the Messenger" is not a book I would ever choose to read, but a friend recommended it, (knowing I was a psych major in college) and lent me their copy. I plodded through it, ever so slowly, as I was bored to tears, and my eyes kept rolling around in my head while reading. Six weeks later, (I normally read books in a matter of hours or days) I read the very last page and can now return the book, and not have to see it beckoning to me, only to be ignored, from my nightstand.
I DO give great credit to the author for all he has done to overcome a life of addiction and depression. Whatever it takes for someone to do that, is fine with me, so kudos to Ralph De La Rosa th for digging himself out of the worst kind of life. If that took turning to medication and a lot of Freudian mumbo jumbo (and I say this as someone who holds a degree in psychology from a highly regarded university) then I am glad those tools exist. I am someone who simply decides I can do anything to which I set my mind, and have trouble empathizing with those who cannot get out of their own way. I do recognize that some people simply cannot do it without major therapy, or leaning on crutches, such as drugs, alcohol, or establishing a belief system in something that is not concrete. I am too science based and matter of fact for that, so the book cannot receive my praise on content.
There is a lot of talk in the book about childhood trauma. Again, I cannot relate as I had the most wonderful, generous, bright, and adoring parents any child could ever hope to have. I understand that we all carry our inner child with us, as that child is still US, but we have moved on (hopefully) and matured. In some cases, people are stuck with the emotions of childhood, but are adults who have to function in the real world, which is often harsh and demanding. Those people cannot handle real life, and turn to substance abuse or other addictive and destructive behaviors. Again, not something to which I can relate, but I don't live in a bubble, so I have certainly come across people who have done those things. Most never really escape the vicious cycle of drugs, recovery, drugs, recovery, and so on. The author is one, thankfully, who did, and he then went back to school and earned his PhD! He is a practicing therapist, writer, and speaker who believes in meditation and many of the teachings of Buddhism. That is the gist of the book-lots and lots of pages on different ways to mediate- (I would so rather go for a walk or read a beautifully written novel), but I indulged him, for a bit, and tried some of his breathing techniques. They do bring about relaxation, but so does a good book and a lovely cup of tea (for me, anyway).
I think if you are someone who is struggling with trauma, abuse of any sort against you or by you towards yourself, this book might be of some value to you. De La Rosa is still a relatively young man, and many may relate to him on the hardships of today's challenges. He writes well, and is frank and open with his readers about the ugliness of his past as a heroin addict. You might love the book, and find the help you seek, but for me, it was a waste of reading time. I am a content person, someone who was given the right tools as a child to negotiate all that life brings, both good and bad. We all suffer losses and endure times of great sadness. That is part of life! It's how we deal with them that separates those who need outside help, from those who can heal and grow on our own.
In no way am I belittling the need for this book, nor am I belittling those who find it a godsend. It just did nothing for me, as I don't fit the personality type for whom it was intended. What everyone should take away, no matter yourr personality type or life experiences, whether you are generally happy and stable, or suffering from some kind of mental illness, is that we all need to take very, VERY good care of our children, and of other people's children with whom we interact. We have the ability to create strong, kind, empathetic human beings equipped with the mental strength to deal with all that life throws at us, or to leave a child so broken that they cannot repair the breaks in their minds or hearts, and who will continue the abuse they received, in whatever form that might have been, both with themselves and with the children they may have someday. I can see how, to some, "The Monkey is the Messenger" could be a 5 star read. For content, it was no stars for me, but I gave it 3 stars as a shout out to the author for his bravery in so many matters, and because he writes in a very readable fashion, which will be a plus for those who need his guidance.

[Joshua Strayer · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had such high hopes for this book but it is a complete let down.
It has very little to do with the monkey mind at all, a phenomenon elucidated by many people in the psychology world, and is mostly about trauma and the imprints it has on us. The author tries to stay to his thesis about the monkey mind by randomly and without context putting that phrase into random sentences but the book is more about him trauma dumping his life and experiences.
Mindfulness and meditation is what the book was supposed to be about and if you boil everything down to those essential pages you can cut down this 250 page book to about 20 pages.
The author goes on frequent tangents, does a horrid job of tying themes together with his overarching goal of the book, and in general does not stick to the idea of the book.
The ONLY reason that I did not give it a 1-star review is because it is quite well written otherwise, but the content is essentially getting ready to read a book on penguins but finding out the whole book is on Antarctica. That’s nice, tangentially related, but effectively false advertising and essentially a waste of time other than enjoying the topic of Antarctica aside from the penguins.

If you didn’t like that metaphor then get ready, the book is filled with far more worse metaphors trying to relate them to whatever story is supposed to be told.

Bottom line: absolutely would not recommend

[Wan Shoo · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book offered profound insights on making peace with my restless inner 'monkey mind' and finding the balance needed for true internal calm. Its core lesson on equanimity—accepting and understanding the root causes of inner turbulence—was especially valuable. While I appreciated the benefits of the various breathing techniques described, I sometimes found the instructions for 'when' and 'why' to use each method challenging to follow. To enhance its practicality, I believe an appendix summarizing each breathing method and its specific benefits at the end of the book would be incredibly helpful. This is, of course, just my personal perspective. Ultimately, the book holds significant value; its guidance can be a genuine source of stress relief during times of emotional distress.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book ended up being different than I expected, but that's not a bad thing. It isn't about trying to quiet "the monkey" or even treating thoughts like leaves to let drift by in a stream, a visual I have often seen encouraged. De La Rosa instead recommends dialoguing with it and uses the Internal Family System model of psychotherapy as a way of interacting with it and thus integrate within ourselves. This was rather timely as I have only recently become familiar with Dr. Gabor Mate who also encourages us to gently engage withand be curious about inner critical and wounded parts of our personality.

[Jen Bojkov · Rating 3 out of 5]

Book about meditation with practices included. The author incorporates psychotherapy methods with the meditation techniques. I enjoyed reading a lot of the information about meditating, the brain, and the techniques, but it got a little too trauma-focused for me in the latter third of the book. It's not that I have not experienced trauma, but the author is a recovering drug addict- which I think is probably a little more intense than me getting teased as a kid for being skinny. I may purchase this at some point because I would love to have this as a reference.

[Molly]

The "monkey mind" is the part of our cognitive awareness that gives us a continuous and often irritating or even tormenting inner monologue. Many express hopes that we can silence or suppress it through various practices of meditation. This author sees the inner words as a resource that we should respect and tap into. His premise is that the monkey may be telling us something valuable.
I like to read or at least skim meditation manuals. You might think I do this instead of meditating, and you might be right, at least in part. I thought this one was a pretty good explanation.

[Amy Colbert · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.2 (audio) - Monkey mind refers to the uncontrollable cacophony of thoughts that often interrupt meditation. But perhaps instead of trying to get rid of these thoughts, we should pay attention to them. These are the things we need to work through. Ralph De La Rosa provides practices to help us learn from our persistent thoughts.

[Alex Hare · Rating 5 out of 5]

amazing read and resource, will be coming back to this book repeatedly for the rest of my life. highly recommend!!

[Carol Milters · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book on Mindfulness, why and how to cultivate compassion with your monkey brain and amazingly effective exercises

[Roxane · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to the audio book and it was read in such a monotone voice that it made it very unenjoyable to listen too. The content was good so I wish I had read it myself.

[Carly Schafrik · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wished I could have enjoyed it more. The psycholanilizer in me couldn't let go. On to find a different meditation mentra....

[Aligata · Rating 3 out of 5]

Better than expected.

[Joel Atella · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book CHANGED MY LIFE. Such a beautiful gift in this world. I want to go around the streets handing this out to people 🤣 Reframes and frames so many things with one focus: loving kindness.