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Mindfulness Essentials #6
Cum să lupți
Îi putem înțelege pe ceilalți doar atunci când îi ascultăm cu adevărat. Când suntem capabili să-i ascultăm pe alții cu adevărat, le putem înțelege durerea și dificultățile cu care se confruntă.
Dar când suntem furioși, nu putem să-i ascultăm sau să le auzim suferința. Să-i asculți sincer pe ceilalți reprezintă o formă de meditație.
Devenim conștienți de respirația noastră, o urmărim și practicăm concentrarea; astfel aflăm despre celălalt lucruri pe care nu le știam înainte.
Practicând ascultarea profundă, îl putem ajuta pe celălalt să se elibereze de percepțiile greșite care îi provoacă suferință.“
Thich Nhat Hanh este unul dintre cei mai cunoscuți și respectați maeștri Zen din lumea contemporană, poet și activist pentru pace și drepturile omului. În anul 1967 a fost nominalizat de către Martin Luther King la Premiul Nobel pentru Pace.
Este autorul a peste 100 de cărți care abordează tematici precum meditația, conceptul de mindfulness sau budismul, volume care s-au vândut în peste trei milioane de exemplare doar în Statele Unite ale Americii.
Ca o formă de recunoaștere a impactului spiritual pe care-l are asupra umanității, este supranumit ,,celălalt Dalai Lama“.
Dar când suntem furioși, nu putem să-i ascultăm sau să le auzim suferința. Să-i asculți sincer pe ceilalți reprezintă o formă de meditație.
Devenim conștienți de respirația noastră, o urmărim și practicăm concentrarea; astfel aflăm despre celălalt lucruri pe care nu le știam înainte.
Practicând ascultarea profundă, îl putem ajuta pe celălalt să se elibereze de percepțiile greșite care îi provoacă suferință.“
Thich Nhat Hanh este unul dintre cei mai cunoscuți și respectați maeștri Zen din lumea contemporană, poet și activist pentru pace și drepturile omului. În anul 1967 a fost nominalizat de către Martin Luther King la Premiul Nobel pentru Pace.
Este autorul a peste 100 de cărți care abordează tematici precum meditația, conceptul de mindfulness sau budismul, volume care s-au vândut în peste trei milioane de exemplare doar în Statele Unite ale Americii.
Ca o formă de recunoaștere a impactului spiritual pe care-l are asupra umanității, este supranumit ,,celălalt Dalai Lama“.
112 pages, Paperback
Published May 1, 2019
633 people are currently reading
4436 people want to read
About the author
Thich Nhat Hanh
972 books12.8k followersThích Nhất Hạnh was a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, teacher, author, poet and peace activist who then lived in southwest France where he was in exile for many years. Born Nguyễn Xuân Bảo, Thích Nhất Hạnh joined a Zen (Vietnamese: Thiền) monastery at the age of 16, and studied Buddhism as a novitiate. Upon his ordination as a monk in 1949, he assumed the Dharma name Thích Nhất Hạnh. Thích is an honorary family name used by all Vietnamese monks and nuns, meaning that they are part of the Shakya (Shakyamuni Buddha) clan. He was often considered the most influential living figure in the lineage of Lâm Tế (Vietnamese Rinzai) Thiền, and perhaps also in Zen Buddhism as a whole.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 348 reviews
July 25, 2022
One of the biggest positives if we practice mindfulness is the ability to control anger. The author says that if we give enough attention to our suffering, we will be able to transform it in such a way as to control our anger. This will also make us capable of handling the anger of others.
My favorite three lines from this book.
"When we're able to love our enemy, that person is no longer our enemy. The idea of "enemy" vanishes and is replaced by the person who is suffering and needs our compassion."
“Stillness is the foundation of understanding and insight.”
"When we observe or listen to other people, we often don't see them clearly or really hear what they're saying. We see and hear our projections and prejudices instead."
If anger management is one of your personality's weakest aspects, you should definitely try this book.
My favorite three lines from this book.
"When we're able to love our enemy, that person is no longer our enemy. The idea of "enemy" vanishes and is replaced by the person who is suffering and needs our compassion."
“Stillness is the foundation of understanding and insight.”
"When we observe or listen to other people, we often don't see them clearly or really hear what they're saying. We see and hear our projections and prejudices instead."
If anger management is one of your personality's weakest aspects, you should definitely try this book.
January 14, 2018
I need to re-read this twice a day.
August 31, 2018
If you’re new or not to Buddhist concepts, this little book is a great reminder on how to stay human when everyone around you does not. I picked this up at Powell’s at the Portland Airport and I’m glad I did! It’s a quick little book read that carries some pretty heavily important concepts on how you control you during a conflict. Excellent book!
.
.
February 11, 2018
I love these little books. They are deceptively easy to read and have the sweetest illustrations.
This book has practical and easy to implement help with reconciliation and peace in our daily lives.
This book has practical and easy to implement help with reconciliation and peace in our daily lives.
June 9, 2018
I would re-title this book “How to fight with people you love.” In that context, Hanh gives excellent direction. However, these techniques are blind to power inequities and situations where people actively wish to manipulate you or do you harm. Employing these techniques against someone who is a bully or abusive, regardless of how much they are suffering, is a recipe to heap more pain on the targeted person. I can see this book doing real harm in those encounters. Hanh includes no acknowledgement that sometimes the path to peace is acceptance that you cannot change the situation and must pull away to take care of yourself. That said, I think the book does have great utility in teaching one how to deal when friends and loved ones inflict hurt.
March 3, 2021
Wonderful as usual
April 2, 2022
Reflections and lessons learned:
“The lower level of consciousness is like the basement, and the mind is the living room. If you allow anger to come up from the basement, it will occupy the whole living room…”
Anger, rage, frustration, fear, anxiety, regret… empathy, caring, emotion, misunderstanding, inexcusable ignorance, tiredness. Did these conflicts, and they’re accompanying excuses to try and understand, become more obvious elements in the pandemic, or was it inevitable that I would reach this point of increase in life anyway? I love my life but sometimes wonder whether I could dial down all of my emotions for other peoples actions not to negatively affect me so much. The usefulness of suffering, compassion, people watching, apologising, taking refuge in people - this book contains wonderful words in incredibly short lessons to try and remind us all that there really are easier ways. The control from individuals will always feed into wider circumstances and possibly contribute to reducing conflict. Everything’s connected and I don’t want to ever optionally tap out of those feelings and experience… I’m already really looking forward to reading more from this marvellous series
“When we don’t know how to handle our suffering, we continue to suffer…”
“The lower level of consciousness is like the basement, and the mind is the living room. If you allow anger to come up from the basement, it will occupy the whole living room…”
Anger, rage, frustration, fear, anxiety, regret… empathy, caring, emotion, misunderstanding, inexcusable ignorance, tiredness. Did these conflicts, and they’re accompanying excuses to try and understand, become more obvious elements in the pandemic, or was it inevitable that I would reach this point of increase in life anyway? I love my life but sometimes wonder whether I could dial down all of my emotions for other peoples actions not to negatively affect me so much. The usefulness of suffering, compassion, people watching, apologising, taking refuge in people - this book contains wonderful words in incredibly short lessons to try and remind us all that there really are easier ways. The control from individuals will always feed into wider circumstances and possibly contribute to reducing conflict. Everything’s connected and I don’t want to ever optionally tap out of those feelings and experience… I’m already really looking forward to reading more from this marvellous series
“When we don’t know how to handle our suffering, we continue to suffer…”
Read
January 2, 2018Quick, easy read, but with information that can change your perspective. This is a good one to read again and again.
Read
October 14, 2022I started reading this shortly after I picked it up from a favorite quasi-local metaphysical shop in 2018 and have since started and stopped it and hopped around and read it backwards and avoided it and traveled with it and sketched in it, leaving hopefully helpful doodles and annotations throughout it, and now have different notes, scribbles and drawings of different colors, mediums and styles from across the years in this little book, a personal time capsule of when I've tried to help myself in the flavor of DBT set to the tune of Thay's mindfulness. Or, my mindfulness. Both.
The liminal space through which Thich Nhä't Hanh attempts to meet others—namely westerners, I assume—became for me a meeting place with myself, a room in which past versions of me are all reaching around for each other, hopeful that the future mees will reach back. And forward, with bids to remember this. Commit to memory. Practice. Simultaneously, be gentle, water well.
It's clear, through my notes (and cross-referencing my various journals), that I kept forgetting.
But also that I did remember some, sometimes.
This time capsulization of me—which really doesn't have a ton of additions from me, but those that exist clearly mark out the shape of a changing person—has allowed me to see how I've grown and stayed just left of the same throughout the years. In my ink-filled and dusty little copy, there are passages that went for years unannotated despite being read many times, only to be fiercely underlined just yesterday; and I saw some sections were clearly very important to me, once, that I'd probably pass over now. Some were because they didn't resonate, others because I'd done well by a past me and integrated it enough that it would feel redundant to highlight now.
This is not an intricate, incredibly deep nor—certainly not—esoteric book. It's really more along the lines of a booklet, and it's basically pocket-sized. I used to carry it with me to my statistics class where I, freshly angry from perpetually insane traffic, would bury myself into it, seeking relief and a way to signal to others to not bother me while I anxiously whiled away the chunk of time before class started. Perhaps less ironically, in following years, long after leaving that statistics class (with an A, tyvm), I would take it with me to my balcony, surrounded by the plants too poisonous to keep inside lest my cat overzealously and accidentally kill himself. Later still, and earlier, I'd hold it in shaking hands, tears splattering the seemingly weather-resistant pages. I'd throw it, and I'd also lay it gently down. It would stay face up on my desk and left untouched for almost a year only to be affectionately cleaned off and then left to neglect all over again.
It might be accurate to say I've treated this book the way I, over the years, have been. How we all have been, and how we all have treated others. (Unless you're just spectacularly good at treating yourself and other humans really well, in which case, great work! And I don't believe you.)
Since I've had this book, my grandfather, who was basically my dad, passed. Valentine's Day of 2021. My family took it to mean it as a last act of love. I miss him bitterly, and I am angry in the ways he was.
Since I've had this book, my mother, from whom I was painfully estranged and with whom I both desperately sought connection and stubbornly sought release for years and years—but in the end not that many—died one year and four days after Papa. He was her dad, and not just basically. She was angry like him. I am angry like her. The three of us, all so similar and who all spent too much life being in denial of it, who all—together—had such deep, close but conflicted bonds, all so angry. So angry. So angry, with so much suffering.
He wasn't half over 70. She had just a few months to her 49th. She died 46 days after my 29th.
Because of covid, it had been two Christmases since I'd been able to see my Papa. The last one I'd gotten to share with him was in 2019. I could not be there when he passed.
It had been even longer with my mother. It turned out the last time I would ever hug my mother was around Christmas of 2015. We would stop speaking in 2016, only to have the silence briefly broken over email in 2021. Her death came much more suddenly than her father's; so when I found out she was dying, really truly dying, I could not go to her and had to, from the other side of the world, manage with two (2) video calls of dismally poor quality, with only the second one, the one during which she was not catatonic but wonderfully beautifully luckily lucid, being the one during which I heard her tell me she loves me and misses me and is sorry, during which I could know for sure that she could hear me telling her I love her and miss her and am so sorry. And over those very short few minutes, with her physically surrounded by the rest of her children (my younger siblings) and her mother, we had to cram in all the love we had been miscommunicating for so long.
We did okay.
I got more with her in our last call than a lot of kids get with their moms, and I'm grateful for that, especially when seen against the aching backdrop of my whole life with my mom. Despite this, I am so angry.
What would follow over the next months was so much hurt. Even more disconnection. Painful, horrible disconnection. Things she didn't want, wouldn't have wanted. Things I never thought would happen. Familial implosion the likes of which I thought I wouldn't see anymore. Never again.
And under my anger is so much hurt. Hurt and fear. Loss and betrayal. Sorrow. Deep longing for family.
Where is it to be found?
And so yesterday, I returned to this book. I was fighting, again; fighting with myself, fighting with my partner, fighting the various mental constructs of those who've been identified by me as hurting me, to whatever degree of accuracy. And I finally read it from start to finish, despite fatigue welling up and pulling me in, close to the end. I still read it, and closely, and left notes and drew for me and tried to love me and the various constructs in a way that reflected Thay's teachings, those that have always eluded me and those that I have also, incidentally, despite the wishes of past mees, not followed closely.
Thay also died this year. 22 Jan 22. My maternal great-grandmother's centennial.
I don't have a good way to end this review. And I can't give this a star rating. It is beyond that. It continues. It endures, like Abi Andrews writes. Like the anger, the pain, the love. So much love. So incredibly much love. So much love I can't tell where the fabric of it and pain ends and begins. It doesn't, really. They're interwoven. Inosculated.
Like we should be. Like we are.
The liminal space through which Thich Nhä't Hanh attempts to meet others—namely westerners, I assume—became for me a meeting place with myself, a room in which past versions of me are all reaching around for each other, hopeful that the future mees will reach back. And forward, with bids to remember this. Commit to memory. Practice. Simultaneously, be gentle, water well.
It's clear, through my notes (and cross-referencing my various journals), that I kept forgetting.
But also that I did remember some, sometimes.
This time capsulization of me—which really doesn't have a ton of additions from me, but those that exist clearly mark out the shape of a changing person—has allowed me to see how I've grown and stayed just left of the same throughout the years. In my ink-filled and dusty little copy, there are passages that went for years unannotated despite being read many times, only to be fiercely underlined just yesterday; and I saw some sections were clearly very important to me, once, that I'd probably pass over now. Some were because they didn't resonate, others because I'd done well by a past me and integrated it enough that it would feel redundant to highlight now.
This is not an intricate, incredibly deep nor—certainly not—esoteric book. It's really more along the lines of a booklet, and it's basically pocket-sized. I used to carry it with me to my statistics class where I, freshly angry from perpetually insane traffic, would bury myself into it, seeking relief and a way to signal to others to not bother me while I anxiously whiled away the chunk of time before class started. Perhaps less ironically, in following years, long after leaving that statistics class (with an A, tyvm), I would take it with me to my balcony, surrounded by the plants too poisonous to keep inside lest my cat overzealously and accidentally kill himself. Later still, and earlier, I'd hold it in shaking hands, tears splattering the seemingly weather-resistant pages. I'd throw it, and I'd also lay it gently down. It would stay face up on my desk and left untouched for almost a year only to be affectionately cleaned off and then left to neglect all over again.
It might be accurate to say I've treated this book the way I, over the years, have been. How we all have been, and how we all have treated others. (Unless you're just spectacularly good at treating yourself and other humans really well, in which case, great work! And I don't believe you.)
Since I've had this book, my grandfather, who was basically my dad, passed. Valentine's Day of 2021. My family took it to mean it as a last act of love. I miss him bitterly, and I am angry in the ways he was.
Since I've had this book, my mother, from whom I was painfully estranged and with whom I both desperately sought connection and stubbornly sought release for years and years—but in the end not that many—died one year and four days after Papa. He was her dad, and not just basically. She was angry like him. I am angry like her. The three of us, all so similar and who all spent too much life being in denial of it, who all—together—had such deep, close but conflicted bonds, all so angry. So angry. So angry, with so much suffering.
He wasn't half over 70. She had just a few months to her 49th. She died 46 days after my 29th.
Because of covid, it had been two Christmases since I'd been able to see my Papa. The last one I'd gotten to share with him was in 2019. I could not be there when he passed.
It had been even longer with my mother. It turned out the last time I would ever hug my mother was around Christmas of 2015. We would stop speaking in 2016, only to have the silence briefly broken over email in 2021. Her death came much more suddenly than her father's; so when I found out she was dying, really truly dying, I could not go to her and had to, from the other side of the world, manage with two (2) video calls of dismally poor quality, with only the second one, the one during which she was not catatonic but wonderfully beautifully luckily lucid, being the one during which I heard her tell me she loves me and misses me and is sorry, during which I could know for sure that she could hear me telling her I love her and miss her and am so sorry. And over those very short few minutes, with her physically surrounded by the rest of her children (my younger siblings) and her mother, we had to cram in all the love we had been miscommunicating for so long.
We did okay.
I got more with her in our last call than a lot of kids get with their moms, and I'm grateful for that, especially when seen against the aching backdrop of my whole life with my mom. Despite this, I am so angry.
What would follow over the next months was so much hurt. Even more disconnection. Painful, horrible disconnection. Things she didn't want, wouldn't have wanted. Things I never thought would happen. Familial implosion the likes of which I thought I wouldn't see anymore. Never again.
And under my anger is so much hurt. Hurt and fear. Loss and betrayal. Sorrow. Deep longing for family.
Where is it to be found?
And so yesterday, I returned to this book. I was fighting, again; fighting with myself, fighting with my partner, fighting the various mental constructs of those who've been identified by me as hurting me, to whatever degree of accuracy. And I finally read it from start to finish, despite fatigue welling up and pulling me in, close to the end. I still read it, and closely, and left notes and drew for me and tried to love me and the various constructs in a way that reflected Thay's teachings, those that have always eluded me and those that I have also, incidentally, despite the wishes of past mees, not followed closely.
Thay also died this year. 22 Jan 22. My maternal great-grandmother's centennial.
I don't have a good way to end this review. And I can't give this a star rating. It is beyond that. It continues. It endures, like Abi Andrews writes. Like the anger, the pain, the love. So much love. So incredibly much love. So much love I can't tell where the fabric of it and pain ends and begins. It doesn't, really. They're interwoven. Inosculated.
Like we should be. Like we are.
March 5, 2020
This simple tome could be read in 20 minutes, but if the principles and suggestions it offers were taken to heart and implemented in our lives, they could supplant the work of most conflict resolution theorists and a good deal of relationship counselors. A truly compassionate way to think about the suffering we feel and the suffering we cause, and how to minimize both for the benefit of ourselves and those around us.
November 7, 2017
Much like the others in this How To Series; small book much wisdom.
January 5, 2020
Perhaps the most useful book I’ve ever read.
April 25, 2023
I put off reading this for a while because I am not naturally a “fighter,” or someone who approaches conflict with a desire to win. I am more likely to turn away from conflict, to run from the fight, and I have felt ashamed of this. I felt like I wasn’t ready to learn how to fight, as I lacked the strength or motivation.
However, this book was not whatever I had expected it to be. It explains with clarity and compassion how to approach and resolve conflicts. It stresses the importance of addressing conflict within ourselves before turning outward. It frames the art of conflict within a worthy goal: to better understand and care for ourselves, each other, and the world.
However, this book was not whatever I had expected it to be. It explains with clarity and compassion how to approach and resolve conflicts. It stresses the importance of addressing conflict within ourselves before turning outward. It frames the art of conflict within a worthy goal: to better understand and care for ourselves, each other, and the world.
April 27, 2024
Was a decent tiny book, the education on how to be kind and relaxed and improve yourself by thinking before doing and sharing love and improving the overall world by introducing kindness was nice.
Was quite repetitive and a lot of common sense things which have been said millions of times already.
But nice intentions.
Was quite repetitive and a lot of common sense things which have been said millions of times already.
But nice intentions.
May 5, 2025
Good stuff. I agree with a lot of it, however I think nonviolence isn’t always the answer, especially when it comes to protecting yourself and others. What is the point of all this peace talk if you die, like first you have to be able to create a space where you can talk about peace, and you can’t do that if you are dead
March 5, 2020
Light and bright!
Mindfulness, compassion, understanding, and communication are central values to calm down, avoid "unskilful" situations and help solve conflicts. I appreciated the comparison of misunderstandings as internal knots that if you don't untie immediately after the trauma of an angry moment, can stay with you and will be difficult to get rid of.
Something so soothing about Hanh s books, either audio or written...
I miss this good bliss!
Mindfulness, compassion, understanding, and communication are central values to calm down, avoid "unskilful" situations and help solve conflicts. I appreciated the comparison of misunderstandings as internal knots that if you don't untie immediately after the trauma of an angry moment, can stay with you and will be difficult to get rid of.
Something so soothing about Hanh s books, either audio or written...
I miss this good bliss!
November 14, 2019
Simple and direct ♥️
January 13, 2019
It is all about mindfulness and self-awareness. "How to Fight" by Thich Nhat Hanh talks about in order to understand others, first we must look deeper into ourselves and try to understand ourselves. Although I am aware of most of the ideas that were reflected in this book I think it was refreshing to be reminded of them once again. But hey what did I write in the first sentence of this very book review? Thus, I feel great reading this and so I am grateful to grab this book in the first place.
Here are some quotes that I admired from this short and concise book.
"Nothing can survive without food - not even love. Without nourishment, your love will die." - Buddha
"When we suffer, we have the tendency to blame other people and to see them as the source of our suffering. We don't recognize that we are responsible to some extent for our suffering as well as for making those around us suffer."
Yeah I really like this quote above. We are partly responsible for our own suffering and misery. So before trying to put all the blame on other people it's crucial to take personal responsibilities and have compassion for others.
"If you have not suffered, there is no way you can learn. We learn by making mistakes." - Buddha
Another exceptional quote by the one and only Buddha! I highly doubt there is a single person who has not suffered in some shape or form though. I mean come on, honestly...
"Everything is of the nature to change."
You know what they say, the only thing permanent in this life is that everything is temporary. It sounds quite deep, right? Because it really is pretty deep. Basically what this quote is implying is the fact that since things and people are everchanging it's important to appreciate the present moment because "This too shall pass" (oh good old ring of king Solomon, here you come again, why are you stuck in my young mind?).
"Hello, my emotion. I know you are there. I will take care of you."
I don't know why but when I first read this quote I instantly thought about "Hello darkness my old friend, I've come to talk with you again"
"To love someone means to understand them."
Once again, one deep quote after another! How can this short read include so many deep quotes and thoughts in it? I assume never judge the book by its number of pages...lol.
Lastly but not least. "Every one of us needs help"
Whoever you are reading this. If you happen to need some help, I'm positive you do. I would highly recommend you give this book a shot. First of all, it is an easy read. Secondly you will definitely get something useful out of it. Finally you will feel better about yourself and your suffering. I promise
Here are some quotes that I admired from this short and concise book.
"Nothing can survive without food - not even love. Without nourishment, your love will die." - Buddha
"When we suffer, we have the tendency to blame other people and to see them as the source of our suffering. We don't recognize that we are responsible to some extent for our suffering as well as for making those around us suffer."
Yeah I really like this quote above. We are partly responsible for our own suffering and misery. So before trying to put all the blame on other people it's crucial to take personal responsibilities and have compassion for others.
"If you have not suffered, there is no way you can learn. We learn by making mistakes." - Buddha
Another exceptional quote by the one and only Buddha! I highly doubt there is a single person who has not suffered in some shape or form though. I mean come on, honestly...
"Everything is of the nature to change."
You know what they say, the only thing permanent in this life is that everything is temporary. It sounds quite deep, right? Because it really is pretty deep. Basically what this quote is implying is the fact that since things and people are everchanging it's important to appreciate the present moment because "This too shall pass" (oh good old ring of king Solomon, here you come again, why are you stuck in my young mind?).
"Hello, my emotion. I know you are there. I will take care of you."
I don't know why but when I first read this quote I instantly thought about "Hello darkness my old friend, I've come to talk with you again"
"To love someone means to understand them."
Once again, one deep quote after another! How can this short read include so many deep quotes and thoughts in it? I assume never judge the book by its number of pages...lol.
Lastly but not least. "Every one of us needs help"
Whoever you are reading this. If you happen to need some help, I'm positive you do. I would highly recommend you give this book a shot. First of all, it is an easy read. Secondly you will definitely get something useful out of it. Finally you will feel better about yourself and your suffering. I promise
January 1, 2021
Ein schönes, kleines Buch, das sehr hilfreich vor schwierigen Gesprächen (bspw. nach einem Streit oder bei einem generell zerrütteten Verhältnis) oder auch für zwischendurch ist. Gute Nachttischlektüre! Die Bücher aus dieser Reihe bieten sich mMn auch hervorragend als kleine Aufmerksamkeiten zum Verschenken für Freund*innen an, gerade wegen der liebevollen Illustrationen.
Am meisten hat man von dem Büchlein, wenn man die basics der Plum Village Community kennt und es nicht an einem Stück runterliest. Ich möchte nicht behaupten, dass sich das Buch (bzw. die Reihe) nicht als Einstieg in buddhistisches Denken anbietet, vollkommen unvertraute Leser*innen könnten jedoch bspw. von Begriffen wie der "vierten Achtsamkeitsübung" (Thich Nhat Hanhs Aktualisierung der fünf Silas, das Fundament der buddhistischen Ethik) verwirrt werden. Ich empfehle dazu bspw. Thays Dharma Talk zu buddhistischer Psychologie. Wer sich noch nicht damit beschäftigt hat, könnte Thich Nhat Hanhs Ansatz zu Ursachen von Streit als victim-blaming lesen, dabei geht es darum, dass man nicht in einer Opferhaltung durchs Leben gehen, sondern Konfrontationen proaktiver führen sollte.
Eine weitere Kritik könnte lauten, dass Thich Nhat Hanh sich wiederholt (man könnte fast sagen: dauernd), aber darüber sollte man sich mMn nicht ärgern. Was soll ein Zen-Meister und Achtsamkeitslehrer auch sonst machen als seine Leser*innen immer wieder an die Grundlage unseres Atems zu erinnern?
Wem die Wiederholungen jedoch zu sehr auf den Geist gehen, dem empfehle ich Thich Nhat Hanhs "Happiness" zu lesen. Darin sind alle Überlegungen und Übungen, die die "basics der Achtsamkeit" Reihe ausmachen, enthalten und man gewinnt einen guten Überblick über Thays Dharma.
Abschließend: Ich habe vor Kurzem eine Rezension gelesen, in der behauptet wurde, dass man, wenn man ein Buch von Thich Nhat Hanh gelesen hat, dass man sie alle gelesen hat. In gewisser Weise muss ich da zustimmen. Die Botschaft Thich Nhat Hanhs liest sich sehr einfach - die Umsetzung in eine tägliche Achtsamkeitspraxis ist eine andere Sache. Das ist der harte Teil. Deswegen komme ich gerne zu seinen Worten zurück, die passend zum Titel stets versöhnlich und gütig sind. Wer Achtsamkeit praktiziert, kann mithilfe dieser Reihe ihre*seine Praxis festigen und vertiefen.
4 Sterne, Thays Bücher sind mMn sehr rührend.
Am meisten hat man von dem Büchlein, wenn man die basics der Plum Village Community kennt und es nicht an einem Stück runterliest. Ich möchte nicht behaupten, dass sich das Buch (bzw. die Reihe) nicht als Einstieg in buddhistisches Denken anbietet, vollkommen unvertraute Leser*innen könnten jedoch bspw. von Begriffen wie der "vierten Achtsamkeitsübung" (Thich Nhat Hanhs Aktualisierung der fünf Silas, das Fundament der buddhistischen Ethik) verwirrt werden. Ich empfehle dazu bspw. Thays Dharma Talk zu buddhistischer Psychologie. Wer sich noch nicht damit beschäftigt hat, könnte Thich Nhat Hanhs Ansatz zu Ursachen von Streit als victim-blaming lesen, dabei geht es darum, dass man nicht in einer Opferhaltung durchs Leben gehen, sondern Konfrontationen proaktiver führen sollte.
Eine weitere Kritik könnte lauten, dass Thich Nhat Hanh sich wiederholt (man könnte fast sagen: dauernd), aber darüber sollte man sich mMn nicht ärgern. Was soll ein Zen-Meister und Achtsamkeitslehrer auch sonst machen als seine Leser*innen immer wieder an die Grundlage unseres Atems zu erinnern?
Wem die Wiederholungen jedoch zu sehr auf den Geist gehen, dem empfehle ich Thich Nhat Hanhs "Happiness" zu lesen. Darin sind alle Überlegungen und Übungen, die die "basics der Achtsamkeit" Reihe ausmachen, enthalten und man gewinnt einen guten Überblick über Thays Dharma.
Abschließend: Ich habe vor Kurzem eine Rezension gelesen, in der behauptet wurde, dass man, wenn man ein Buch von Thich Nhat Hanh gelesen hat, dass man sie alle gelesen hat. In gewisser Weise muss ich da zustimmen. Die Botschaft Thich Nhat Hanhs liest sich sehr einfach - die Umsetzung in eine tägliche Achtsamkeitspraxis ist eine andere Sache. Das ist der harte Teil. Deswegen komme ich gerne zu seinen Worten zurück, die passend zum Titel stets versöhnlich und gütig sind. Wer Achtsamkeit praktiziert, kann mithilfe dieser Reihe ihre*seine Praxis festigen und vertiefen.
4 Sterne, Thays Bücher sind mMn sehr rührend.
December 20, 2025
Honestly this is on me. I knew a monk had written this but I still didn't expect it to be more from a defensive angle rather than from an offensive angle. And yeah yeah 'the best offence is a good defence' but sometimes you need to take an offensive approach and I was just curious what a monk thought to do then, but this book didn't really give those answers.
Still though, while I don't agree with everything he's written in this book, the majority of it is like 'do not fight while in anger, accept your feelings' and I think those are great things to preach.
Still though, while I don't agree with everything he's written in this book, the majority of it is like 'do not fight while in anger, accept your feelings' and I think those are great things to preach.
December 29, 2018
I loved it. Thich Nhat Hanh is probably one of the wisest living humans. Clear, refreshingly unembellished insight, like a cool breeze on a summer day. Remarkable lucidity is required to render profound wisdom in such simple and easy-to-understand words.
January 23, 2022
will def sit down to re-read this with future family, friends, and partners.
July 3, 2025
La meditación del abrazo es algo que se puede practicar con personas que amas y en quienes confías, sobre todo si han estado molestas. Para empezar, cierra los ojos, respira hondo y visualízate con tu ser querido dentro de trescientos años.
Citas:
■ “Buda dijo que si no has sufrido, no hay manera de aprender. Aprendemos cometiendo errores... tienes cientos de oportunidades para empezar de nuevo”. [Pág ]
■ “La mente y el cerebro son plásticos por naturaleza. Puedes cambiar tu mente, tu cerebro y tu forma de pensar y sentir. Con la práctica, puedes crear nuevas conexiones neuronales que conducen a la comprensión, la compasión, el amor y el perdón”. [Pág ]
■ “Al ensayar nuestra ira, creamos el hábito de estar enojados... si continúas sufriendo, es porque alimentas tu sufrimiento cada día”. [Pág ]
■ “Muy a menudo, en un conflicto, creemos que el problema es la otra persona o el grupo. Pensamos que es culpa suya y que si simplemente dejaran de hacer lo que hacen o de ser como son, tendríamos paz y felicidad. Así que puede que nos motive el deseo de destruir al otro bando. Quizás deseemos que no existiera. Pero al observar con detenimiento, sabemos que no somos los únicos que hemos sufrido; ellos también lo han hecho. Cuando nos tomamos el tiempo para serenarnos y analizar la situación a fondo, podemos ver que somos corresponsables, que hemos cocreado el conflicto con nuestra forma de pensar, actuar o hablar, ya sea individualmente, como grupo o como nación”. [Pág ]
■ “Las raíces de la discriminación, el conflicto y la guerra no se encuentran fuera de nosotros. Están en nuestra propia forma de pensar y ver el mundo. El verdadero enemigo es nuestra ignorancia, nuestro apego a ciertas opiniones y nuestras percepciones erróneas”. [Pág ]
Citas:
■ “Buda dijo que si no has sufrido, no hay manera de aprender. Aprendemos cometiendo errores... tienes cientos de oportunidades para empezar de nuevo”. [Pág ]
■ “La mente y el cerebro son plásticos por naturaleza. Puedes cambiar tu mente, tu cerebro y tu forma de pensar y sentir. Con la práctica, puedes crear nuevas conexiones neuronales que conducen a la comprensión, la compasión, el amor y el perdón”. [Pág ]
■ “Al ensayar nuestra ira, creamos el hábito de estar enojados... si continúas sufriendo, es porque alimentas tu sufrimiento cada día”. [Pág ]
■ “Muy a menudo, en un conflicto, creemos que el problema es la otra persona o el grupo. Pensamos que es culpa suya y que si simplemente dejaran de hacer lo que hacen o de ser como son, tendríamos paz y felicidad. Así que puede que nos motive el deseo de destruir al otro bando. Quizás deseemos que no existiera. Pero al observar con detenimiento, sabemos que no somos los únicos que hemos sufrido; ellos también lo han hecho. Cuando nos tomamos el tiempo para serenarnos y analizar la situación a fondo, podemos ver que somos corresponsables, que hemos cocreado el conflicto con nuestra forma de pensar, actuar o hablar, ya sea individualmente, como grupo o como nación”. [Pág ]
■ “Las raíces de la discriminación, el conflicto y la guerra no se encuentran fuera de nosotros. Están en nuestra propia forma de pensar y ver el mundo. El verdadero enemigo es nuestra ignorancia, nuestro apego a ciertas opiniones y nuestras percepciones erróneas”. [Pág ]
Read
May 9, 2019How to Fight is the latest edition to Thich Nhat Hanh’s Mindfulness Essentials series. Once again Thich Nhat Hanh provides an accessible glimpse into the world of mindfulness, self-awareness and meditation. In How To Fight, Thich Nhat Hanh as short meditative thoughts that the reader can absorb at their own pace. How To Fight teaches how one can form a new relationship with and understanding of one’s anger is an attempt to limit or curb reactionary outbursts that stem from anger and frustration. Each meditation or thought written by Thich Nhat Hanh invites you to reflect on any of your patterns that relate to your anger in order to seek out the true source of the emotion. You can read and reflect on one meditation a day, pick a random meditation at any given time or read it cover to cover.
I really enjoy Thich Nhat Hanh’s Mindfulness Essentials series and I was excited to read How To Fight. I highly recommend the book and series. - Thomas B.
I really enjoy Thich Nhat Hanh’s Mindfulness Essentials series and I was excited to read How To Fight. I highly recommend the book and series. - Thomas B.
February 16, 2021
This is a tiny book. Scarcely more than a pamphlet. And it is packed with gems. At one point my notes began to resemble a transcription rather than excerpts. Thich Nhat Hanh lays out approaches to handling conflict and anger within ourselves and with others. He approaches it as one expects a mindfulness teacher to approach it but he is hardly out of touch - speaking of neural pathways and also discussing the pros of phone conversations rather than texts or emails when dealing with difficult conversations. I appreciate his warnings against rehearsing anger when we may think we are seeking catharsis. I find his suggestion of a peace treaty between individuals to be intriguing.
And I plan to practice a lot of hugging meditation when the time comes that the pandemic is over and it is safe. So much hugging meditation.
And I plan to practice a lot of hugging meditation when the time comes that the pandemic is over and it is safe. So much hugging meditation.
October 16, 2022
The key takeaway from this book is the paradigm shift in my understanding of the basics regarding conflict management.
One has first to calm down and make peace with oneself. Next, one should recognise the fact that others are also suffering, and it is our job to reduce overall suffering in the world.
I like the concepts like 'Interbeing', 'Fresh Beginning', and 'Peace Treaty', which are part of the book. I like how the author has deconstructed the nature, management and consequences of a fight. It has changed the way I think about a 'fight'.
One has first to calm down and make peace with oneself. Next, one should recognise the fact that others are also suffering, and it is our job to reduce overall suffering in the world.
I like the concepts like 'Interbeing', 'Fresh Beginning', and 'Peace Treaty', which are part of the book. I like how the author has deconstructed the nature, management and consequences of a fight. It has changed the way I think about a 'fight'.
March 25, 2020
Part of Thich Nhat Hahn’s Mindfulness Essentials series, this one seemed appropriate for the times. More about how to deal with loved ones than general frustrations stemming from an unjust society, these short meditations are worth a read. I read them off and on over several months, and it’s nice to get an occasional reminder to step back, take a deep breath, and find a positive way forward when dealing with anger. Recommended.
December 26, 2020
Este cartea la care imi propun sa ma intorc adesea in 2021. Voi lua din ea cateva tehnici de mindfulness (respiratie, concentrare) pe care mi-as dori sa le practic si sa le perfectionez. Stiu ca, in cazul meu, nu vor functiona toate cele recomandate, dar cred ca am maturitatea de a selecta ce mi se potriveste.
September 8, 2022
Recently, I’ve felt hard to contain the hot temper in myself. I tried to find something to cool me down, I found this book.
The more I read, the more I find Buddhism as a philosophical concept rather than a religious one.
- On the train from Paris to Étretat -
The more I read, the more I find Buddhism as a philosophical concept rather than a religious one.
- On the train from Paris to Étretat -
December 8, 2022
I’ve just devoured another amazing book from Thich Nhat Hanh’s ‘mindfulness’ series. “How to Fight” has excellent anecdotes on cultivating loving-speech and transforming one’s anger into compassion and understanding.
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