Monster Burger

24/7 Demon Mart #2

by D.M. Guay

One loser, one karate-chopping bombshell, and one talking cockroach stand between YOU and the zombie apocalypse.

It's business as usual at the 24/7 Demon Mart. Well, not exactly. The beer cave is still the portal to hell, but things haven't been quite right since a handful of vengeful beasts from beyond nearly destroyed the store in their bid to unleash hell on earth.

Demon Mart has a serious pest problem. Shoddy construction has compromised the gate. Even the neighborhood is in flux, now that the Monster Burger across the street has a snooty new owner with a personal beef against the Demon Mart staff.

And Lloyd Wallace, one-time world-saving hero, is too scared to leave his house. He's had a bit of trouble dealing with the fact that zombies are real (and a valued part of the Demon Mart team), blood-thirsty hell beasts are real, and that his boss is the devil. His guardian angel—who lives in a Magic 8-Ball—has had to resort to extreme measures to get Lloyd to leave the safety of his childhood bedroom, show up for work, and keep the promises he made to God.

When the store's living dead staff get restless, and human customers start shuffling around, absolutely starving, ready to eat anything they can get their hands on, it's clear 24/7 Demon Mart has a big problem. It's ground zero for the zombie apocalypse.

It's up to DeeDee, Lloyd, and Kevin to save the day—again. But Lloyd will have to conquer his crippling fear long enough to do his job. Can he man up and become a world-saving hero? Or, will he remain a couch-surfing zero? If they fail, Columbus, Ohio, could quickly turn into Zombie, Ohio. The fate of the world is on the line. What could go wrong?

Monster Burger is the second book in the 24/7 Demon Mart series, a horror-comedy / humorous comic fantasy series. Other titles include The Graveyard Shift and Hell for the Holidays.

Genres: Horror, Fantasy, Humor, Urban Fantasy, Zombies, Fiction, Comedy

210 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 25, 2020

About the author

DM Guay is a horror fan who mish-mashes her love of all that's scary/gory/geeky/funny into stories about creeps and critters, ghouls and ghosts, and all of the unseemly things that go bump in the night.

Denise lives in Ohio with her 12-foot skeletons. She gives out full-size candy bars on Halloween. She is a stage four kidney cancer surviver (It was bleak. Seriously.), so she donates some of her royalties to the Kidney Cancer Research Alliance. (KCCURE. ORG)

She also runs "Monsters In Your Inbox" a monthly round-up of B-horror movies, horror comedy books, and weird news.

Website: http://dmguay.com
Direct Store: https://payhip.com/authordmguay
Books on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/~/e/B06XVFZ2X2
FB:https://www.facebook.com/DMGuay

Reviews

[Eli - Bookworm & Vine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny, action, and horror. Plus food, I mean it’ll turn you into a zombie but still, food.

[Janet (iamltr) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yall..

I laughed my butt off with this one. I have no idea why but Lloyd has grown on me. I think I actually adore him now. I do wish he would just read the freaking manual.

In this one, horrible things keep happening to the night shift at Demon Mart. One after another, with no real reason. The ending had me, I did not actually guess the reason for all this. It was a great twist.

For this story, we had an angel in an 8 ball, evil nekkid pixies, a giant plant named Larry who was pregnant, men with no heads as their faces were on their chests, and zombies. Lots and lots and zombies.

Lloyd, Kevin the roach, and Dee Dee (I am not sure how its spelled, I read this in audio) are a kick ass team and I cannot wait until book three.

[Gilbert Stack · Rating 5 out of 5]

D.M. Guay picks up just where she left off in her awesome novel, The Graveyard Shift. Perennial loser Lloyd is still a loser after helping to save the world, but his success and poor judgment has caused him additional problems. For example, paying off all the money he owes his mother just a couple of weeks in to working what she thinks is a minimum wage job has made her suspect that he’s really entered the drug trade. And he’s also horrified to discover that God took him seriously when he made that fervent I’ll-reform-my-life-if-you-get-me-out-of-this prayer (and how many of us haven’t done the same thing on occasion?) and He expects Lloyd not only to keep working in the ultra-dangerous Demon Mart but to get fit so he can do the job better. (And this is not the kindly Jesus God, it’s the fire-and-brimstone Old-Testament-wrath God.)

So life is not looking good for Lloyd as he reluctantly returns to his job where the only joy is coworker DeeDee whom he has a crush on and the Monster Burger joint across the street which has just come into new management and become highly weird. Add to that that nothing works properly in the newly rebuilt Demon Mart including the demon portal and their protective charms and life could not be crazier for poor Lloyd. (And if you read the first book, you will realize just how insanely crazy that means things have to be.) There are pixies, carnivorous plants, and more weird demons, plus, as you can tell from the great little image at the beginning of each chapter—zombies, zombies, and more zombie.

D.M. Guay is clearly an aficionado of the zombie movie genre, telling us repeatedly in this novel that Dawn of the Dead was a documentary, not a work of fiction. And she brings all of her impressive zombie chops to this novel managing to do so with humor and style as opposed to the typical blood fest. And throughout everything, those crazy pixies keep making things ever more dire and complicated.

Guay outdid herself in this one. Can’t wait to read the next.

If you liked this review, you can find more at www.gilbertstack.com/reviews.

[Natalie H · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think I preferred the first one. Bit distracted reading this one so not a lot stuck. A continuing trend of exes causing trouble and some strange little shop of horrors going on. The state of the employee book was funny, as was the guardian making sure the promise was kept. I missed Faust and a lot of characters from the first one. Still interested in where the series is gonna go but not one I’m ready to jump into.

[Hope · Rating 5 out of 5]

PROTECT KEVIN AT ALL COSTS

[Steve · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you enjoyed Graveyard Shift, you will enjoy Monster Burger! Bonus: terrific use of the word “SPLURP”…

[Cujo · Rating 5 out of 5]

2nd installment to the 24/7 Demon Mart series and I think it's just as good if not better than the first 0ne.

Pissed off Pixies, pregnant man-eating hell plants, his helicopter mom, and both living and undead zombies are just some of the obstacles lovable loser Lloyd Wallace must face within 2 weeks of the dairy mart reopening. Add in a malfunctioning gate, his night manager getting hooked on the new fast food place next door, hints of maybe a re-occurring antagonist, and the continued sexual tension between Lloyd and his female co-worker and this was next to impossible to put down.

Really, really loved the mention of the classic zombie movies and books of the early 20th century. For what its worth, White Zombie with Bela Lugosi, really is worth a watch

[William · Rating 5 out of 5]

Entertaining horror listening 🎶🔰

This kindle e-book novel is from my Kindle Unlimited account book two of six

He is a loser works the night 🌙 shift which is a never ending 😀 fun battle against vampires, monsters, fairies, and other strange things. A fun 🌙 😀 listening story with interesting characters lots of action and misdirection.

I would recommend this series and author to 👍 readers of fantasy world 🌎 adventure novels 👍🔰. 2024 😈😮

[JESSICA M · Rating 4 out of 5]

So fun! Although I did just realize the author's name is Guay and not Gray. Time to edit some searches.

[Olivia Ambs · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s so ridiculous and just so good, just enough action and a lot of laughter. Lloyd is definitely growing on me.

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 stars

[Ziggy Nixon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Additional notes from re-read after release of "Angel Trouble (24/7 Demon Mart #3): so much fun, even the 2nd time around!! I had forgotten (not really but I'm old dammit!!) just how clever - yes clever - the climatic scene wound up being when the food zombies had to be subdued! This is a fun fun story... noting in just the past 4 weeks alone I've now read 11!!! full-length zombie novels (including the entire "the Tide" series) and as such am sequestered in my fall-out shelter. Don't knock, I've wired the place to blow...
---------
OK, that was fun. "Monster Burger" struck a chord with me that was almost but not quite there with "Graveyard Shift" from both a literary as well as humor stand-point. True, that happens IN GENERAL sometimes when part 1 of a series has to introduce a lot of stuff - which leads to a result where the individual chapters read more like an anthology of mini-stories than a real, fully plotted and connected, um, plot. But in this one, I really felt like we hit stride and had more of a 'I want to get from point A to point Z' (pun intended) by the time we ride off into the sunset. I also liked the well-contained "ok the end of the world is happening AT THIS CORNER" vibe and that we were able to truly connect all the dots to that little neighborhood in Ohio.

It also doesn't hurt that I adore zombies and this is one of the plethora (yes, I keep count) of this genre that I'll put in the 'yay' pile. I really liked that Guay also kept the number of weird things that appeared to a manageable level (see above) and that we weren't necessarily overwhelmed (+/-) by Lloyd's Lloserness either. OK, I must admit I was a bit surprised by what I found to be occassionally unnecessary trumpian levels of sexist language and behavior in parts but I'm not sure what the rules are when a female writer does it. So that was just a tad uncomfortable like not realizing the movie you took your mom to see has a pretty hot and heavy sex scene. Yeah, I went to get popcorn is my point...

This could be a fun series to follow for sure. I'm not sure how I'll approach the shorter stories (that's cheating on your yearly targets, kids... my magick 8-ball told me so!). But all kidding aside: I definitely hope DM is continuing to rock the getting well thing and I will keep my eyes peeled for other full-length books! Enjoy!

[Bee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I never, in my life, thought I'd ever say my favorite character of anything ever was a roach, but here we are and here I am. Kevin cracks me up. I listen to the Audio versions of these books and the narrator is 10/10 top tier. I don't think there's a more perfect fit for this series.

I just adore this motley crew of misfits and all the shenanigans that they end jus getting in to. I loved the second book just as much, if not more than the first and cannot wait to see what's in store in the next book. I could easily binge this whole series, but I try to save them for when life gets a little bit tough. The humor and absurdity of these stories always make things a little lighter and brighter.

[Andrew Rowe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Preamble

I previously read and loved The Graveyard Shift by D.M. Guay. I was very much looking forward to getting into this, as I laughed quite a bit at the first book in the 24/7 Demon Mart series. This did not disappoint.

A note about my reviews: I consider myself an appreciator, not a critic. I know first-hand what goes into the creation of art – the blood, the sweat, the tears, the risk. I also know that art appreciation is subjective and lernt good what mama tell’t me – if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. I’m not a school marm grading a spelling test – I’m a reader who enjoys reading. If a book is entertaining, well-written, and I get absorbed into it, five out of five. It’s either five stars or nothing these days – if I don’t like it, no review. Regardless, I wouldn’t even put a star rating system on my reviews but for the reality of storefronts like Amazon.

Take from that what you will.

Review – 5/5

If you’ve ever seen Return Of The Living Dead, the kind-of sequel to Night Of The Living Dead written and directed by Dan O’Bannon, based on a book written by John Russo, one of the co-writers of Night’s script, you’d probably get a kick out of Monster Burger. Aside from the movie having the best opening scene I think I might have seen in any movie, ever, Return Of The Living channels 1980s Americana, hilarious scenarios, excellent jokes, and plenty of zombies.

It didn’t really surprise me to learn through reading D.M. Guay’s notes at the end of the novel that her introduction to the zombie genre came in the form of Return Of The Living Dead. The 24/7 Demon Mart books are mythologically American, with a capital ‘A’. The whole shtick of the series is that it features a fat every-nerd named Lloyd, who somehow manages to bungle himself into saving the world by the end of every book (at least the two I’ve read). This time round, he’s helped along by an angelic magic eight-ball that reads his mind and a supervisor cockroach named Kevin is back for round two. The love of his life, the kick-ass Dee Dee, whose life he manages to save and ingratiate himself towards, is back and is looking past his self-described faults at all times. And maybe even towards loving him?

There are uncooperative heroes, and then there is Lloyd Lamb Wallace. He is such a schlub, it is painful at times to read. But he made a promise to God to get his stuff together. Too bad his mother is sure that he’s on drugs after showing up with mad scrilla after the events of the first book. And too bad he works right next to Monster Burger, the fast-food joint beloved by both Lloyd and Kevin.

I am an avowed buff of zombie fiction, and it was pretty exciting to see all of the references to zombie video games, old movies, new movies. This book is truly a love letter to a genre that is something all of its own. Whereas fare like The Walking Dead is serious business, this is pure horror comedy.

The jokes are funny, largely American culture based, and they come a mile a minute. I feel like Guay really stepped it up a notch with this book, and I loved The Graveyard Shift. The series has a bit of a picaresque feel, in that the plot is not really much beyond ‘save the day’ and it doesn’t really get going until the second half of the book, but I view that as a feature, not a bug. Sure, the eight ball talks about a Hero’s Journey but really, Lloyd doesn’t grow all that much, except to avoid taking a gift from his demonic boss that would have seen him lying to his mother (and to himself).

Self-deception is really the name of Lloyd’s game, which is common among nerds of all stripes. We tend to imagine ourselves lesser than what we are, we are fairly hard on ourselves, and sometimes we are lured by the easy way of burgers and fries and no exercise whilst playing Call of Duty with fellow nerd Big Dan.

I don’t expect Lloyd to grow significantly, as that is part of the charm of these books. It seems he’s not supposed to become the hero who steps perfectly in order to save the world. He’s the schlub like the rest of us, meandering and muddling his way through life, using his heart (or angelic magic eight ball) as a guide to doing what’s right.

And still he bones it up. So much of the plot could have been avoided if he had just read the employee’s handbook he’s been avoiding, or if his boss Kevin (yes, the roach is his supervisor) wasn’t such a dingus himself. But as much as he has to deal with homicidal defecating pixies or demonic plants or giant shrimp eating up the boner pill display and becoming ‘full body boners,’ he still manages to come through alright.

With a traditional hero, with a traditional saviour of the world, we would not have this story. And that would be a shame.

[Michael Carter · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't read as much as I'd like anymore, often because I find it difficult to make the time to dig into a good book (and don't care to waste my time on books that aren't worth it). So I get really excited when I come across one that is so good it takes priority over nearly everything else.

Monster Burger, like the two previous books in the series, did that for me. I eagerly anticipated getting it, and barely took a break (I had to sleep after all) when reading it.

Writing comedy is hard. The vast majority of comedic books I find funny or amusing, but they don't actually make me laugh as I read them. The 24/7 Demon Mart series is an exception - I find myself laughing out loud while reading it, and rereading some sections to my wife.

It isn't all jokes though. The action sequences are well crafted, and it does a great job of hitting the horror tributes, fitting right in with the books and movies that provided inspiration. It takes a deft hand to make the reader go from haha to ewww in just a few sentences, and back again.

It isn't just a string of jokes and gore though, the characters are growing and developing in the series as well. And not just the main trio of heroes (Lloyd, Dee Dee and Kevin) but others like Lloyd's overly-concerned mother or even Caroline Ford Vanderbilt (who must be important because she has two full last names).

The story is more connected than the first book, flowing a bit better. My one criticism is in the big reveal at the end, which felt a bit like it came out of the blue, some stronger foreshadowing might have been nice. The story picks up quickly after the first book in the series, which was a little disconcerting as this is before the holiday special that came out at Christmas (and I know that is not part of the 'series' (thus having no number), but it threw me off for a little bit).

Overall a very funny, enjoyable read, and I am already looking forward to the next one!

[Cornerofmadness · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lloyd is reluctantly back for more in this horror comedy. After the events in book one, Lloyd has no desire to return to the 24/7 demon mart other than to turn in his resignation. His guardian angel (inside a magic 8 ball) assures him quitting is not an option but Lloyd gives it a try only to find out that promise to God to get in shape and do his best is one God intends him to keep. (for those who might be upset by this, God does threaten the life of Lloyd's very old cat, but she isn't hurt even when it looks like she is)

Lloyd finds himself having to bike to work (getting in shape lest God smites him) and Kevin, the cockroach manager sort, is there as is DeeDee the monster-kicking girl of Lloyd's dreams. And next door, the Monster Burger fast food store he so loves is under new management. Only something isn't right. For one, it was usually empty (except for Lloyd and Kevin) and now there are lines out the door. On top of that people are coming into the Demon Mart who shouldn't be and some of them are very obviously not in their right minds.

As if that isn't enough, something is going wrong with the zombie work force, Kevin is acting weird and Lloyd's parents think he's selling drugs (because he paid off all his debts at once with his hazard pay last book) It's up to Lloyd and Dee Dee to save the day and just his luck, Lloyd is all three stooges rolled up into one. It's an eat or be eaten world and Lloyd is a slow moving target.

It's got tons of wry humor and action. There is a bit too much of the self deprecating fat boy stuff in it. Oddly enough I read two books in a row with this and it worked better here than the other (maybe it was better written? Maybe it was that Lloyd is a guy and the other was a woman? I dunno) I kinda wish there was a little less of it. We know Lloyd is out of shape and is a reluctant monster hunter. I think we can take our foot off the gas with reminding us so much. Other than that, I had a blast with this.

[Texas · Rating 4 out of 5]

24/7 DEMON MART, BOOKS 1-3 - This trio was something different to read since it's hard to find good mystery/action/thrillers books to read and I'm saturated with romance. The writing style is well done, and the story lines are intriguing, and the imagination used with everyday items is interesting. Plus, these books are edited, yay. Interesting tidbits after each book. This is not rocket science, just plain, no brain required entertainment. Source: BookSprout.

The Graveyard Shift, #1 - Absolutely a fun trip to read this introduction in the world of Good vs. Evil. While there's some gory, but not exactly explicit, bits, which happens when Good battles Evil in an enclosed space, the humor and fun filled pages made this book hard to put down. The Loser comes up smelling like a rose no matter what and not with too much effort on his part. The group of good characters make an interesting team and support the Loser in unexpected ways, to him since he's a lonely gamer, not a team player. 5*

Monster Burger, #2 - Picks up the next morning after TGS ends. While I wasn't excited by the increased vulgar language, which included the name of God used in vain, this is an intense and intriguing story complete with nonstop action. Plenty of humor to add to the mix of gore and babies. 4*

Angel Trouble, #3 - OK, the action continues where MB ended, a lot of bent out of shape folks and more woes. Pretty intense, with a couple of places of "how you gonna get out of this". Funny and action filled. 5*

[Ruth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious tale of where not to go after midnight. Poor Lloyd, a rather chunky sized young adult with a tendency to lack motivational achievement. His family is pushing him to get out of the house, get a better job, and do something! Lloyd works the night shift at the local all night mart with some interesting rules. Read the management book! Dee-Dee the shapely co-worker, Kermit the disc jockey of old vinyl's, incidentally he is also a cockroach and manager of the night shift. A freezer full of maintenance/ cleaning company zombies, and the Hell Gate portal located at the back of the store complete the layout. A magical ban on humans after midnight keeps the problems down to a somewhat dull night. Enter the Monster Burger across the street and its' customers ,wandering clientele, pixies, live and dead zombies, plants from Hell giving birth, Lloyd's Mom visiting from the bar next door after a girls-night-out, and a demon succubus. Boy the snorting, giggles, and downright anatomical mishaps make this a place for Lloyd to prove himself. What a rush! Love these characters and hope they keep reappearing.

[Panda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Book 2 of man baby working in demon 7/11.

Zombies. This book is about zombies. That is all.

A problem I noticed from book one gets highlighted here. The Character's motivation.

The set up is that MC is flat broke and between student loans and a failed relationship had over $10,000 in debt. His motivation for sticking to such a dangerous job (even though man-baby) was money. Pure and simple.

This was resolved way too early and the author was forced to contrive another reason to leash him to the job... well, until Stockholm's kicked in anyway. It's shown clearly in this one as with the financial problem resolved there is nothing forcing him to stay and it seems a bit contrived.

Had the author herself not harped on it I wouldn't have cared but she keeps highlighting that long gone plot thread. The fact is the book is just stupid fun with a lot of cartoon-ish tropes and logic, and that's fine.

[Justin Sylvia · Rating 3 out of 5]

The only real reason why I’m ranking Monster Burger (a part of the 24/7 demon mart series) I’d be because of 2 good reasons. First in order to be 4 or even 5 star worthy, you have to come with something special & powerful enough to make me not want to put it down. Second, as decent as it was, this didn’t feel like a huge departure from the 1st book. Maybe D.M. Guay intended it, to have 1 particular vibe or aesthetic, but either way.. it was enjoyable enough & I just hope Lloyd mans up & “grows a set” before book 3, etc. a whiny down on his luck loser trying to “Save The World” while the real ass kicker is incapacitated in some form, doesn’t give you the biggest sense of hope that stuff won’t go completely belly up.

[joshua penrose · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you like self aware humor with absurd amounts of references this is the perfect pick for you. With all the humor you could need splashed with zombie attacks the story really keeps you reading.

Pros:
+ funny characters (still even in the second book they’re funny)
+ good monsters and not just zombies
+ sets up more lore than the first one making it feel like the world is coming together

Cons:
- maybe we got less Dee Dee than we could have had
- if you didn’t know there was going to be more the ending may feel lack luster

Overall a great read and a fun time. Excited to get to the next one.

[Kosta Galabov · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hm, why is this book has such high average rating? Don't get me wrong, the book is solid entertainment. It is funny, and in a weird way, sweet. Yet, it doesn't really move the characters further than book #1, and they seem stuck (development wise) where they were. and nothing "special" about it all - just solid, and nothing else... I mean, if the whole thing doesn't develop somewhat, I would drop the series. I like funny and entertaining books, but there still needs to have something that moves forward.

[S.R. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot wait for the next part of this series to come out. My husband and I absolutely adored the audiobook. Angel 8 Ball is quickly becoming one of my favorite parts of this series.

If you love good snarky comedy with a large dose of horror, this series is a must. I cannot recommend it more highly.

I will be counting down the days to the next installment of Demon Mart. This is exactly the kind of thing I need more of!

[Cameron Bennetts · Rating 5 out of 5]

You never know what's going to happen next, and that “next” tends to happen quickly, but with lots of entertaining detail! Ms Guay's underdog hero deals with a whole new dimension to his life as only an unemployed, living-with-parents twenty-something dude can do. He meets a cast of characters who become his world as he tries to overcome his doubts, fears and lack of transportation. They've become a fixture in my “Imaginatorium” as well.

[Julia Barthe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lloyds off on another half assed adventure this time maybe going on a diet could actually save him.... but try convincing him of that. Kevin and dee dee join Lloyd on another need to save the world mission and see how many times they can ask this kid if he has read his employee manual yet. Just maybe Lloyd will get his act together..orrrrr... he will hide behind the donut stand throwing hotdogs. Read to find out

[John E · Rating 3 out of 5]

Crass humor, zombies and devilish monstors

A series i might continue reading. The humor is juvenile and at times graphic and still funny. As a teenager I probably wouldn't have put the book down. Who can't enjoy zombies, a wimpy hero and a talking roach. I really enjoyed the different zombie types but have to admit that for me, I lean more to pg13 type humor.

[Rich Cole · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love this series

This is some of the funniest stuff I've read in a long time. I'm talking laugh out loud funny! The stories in this series are real easy to read..before you know it you are done and ready for the next one. Cookie forward to the next story. Extra points for the Duo and Zebra references

[K.E. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Better than the first

I read the first of the series and liked the premise but not the main character. But in this book, not only does Lloyd grow as a person, he's starting to grow on me. No, seriously! His face is growing out of my shoulder and he steals all my fries. If he doesn't stop that soon, I'm gonna have to crochet him a muzzle.

[C I KESZEI · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you like the odd zombie then this is for you

I have to be honest, I liked the first one and loved this. You will get the zombie vibes from various influences, which are all referenced in the author's notes at the back. Excellent.
I started reading this to fill a gap from another author - now that author has to wait while I read everything DM Guay has done first.

[Bryan Rosengrant · Rating 3 out of 5]

didn’t get into this one as much as book one. i guess i wanted more hell spawn and so the zombie plot wasn’t enthralling. also the audiobook narrator has easily the worst zombie impression ever. have you ever seen a zombie movie my dude? he sounded like a cartoon sound effect of an upset stomach. i’ll still read book 3.