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Keith Laumer's Retief
A collection of Hugo and Nebula-nominated writer Keith Laumer's Retief novellas, as collected from Worlds of If Science Fiction and Fantastic magazines. The books are satirical science fiction written in the 1960s and based on Laumer's real-life experience in the U.S. Foreign Service. Books Diplomat-At-Arms, The Frozen Planet, Gambler's World, The Yillian Way, The Madman From Earth, Retief of the Red-Tape Mountain, Aide Memoire, Retief and the Princess, Cultural Exchange, The Desert and the Stars, Saline Solution, Mightiest Qorn, The Governor of Glave, The City That Grew in the Sea, The Prince and the Pirate, The Castle of Light and Retief, God-Speaker.
- GenresScience FictionHumor
325 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 20, 2020
168 people are currently reading
47 people want to read
About the author
Keith Laumer
498 books225 followersJohn Keith Laumer was an American science fiction author. Prior to becoming a full-time writer, he was an officer in the U.S. Air Force and a U.S. diplomat. His brother March Laumer was also a writer, known for his adult reinterpretations of the Land of Oz (also mentioned in Keith's The Other Side of Time).
Keith Laumer (aka J.K Laumer, J. Keith Laumer) is best known for his Bolo stories and his satirical Retief series. The former chronicles the evolution of juggernaut-sized tanks that eventually become self-aware through the constant improvement resulting from centuries of intermittent warfare against various alien races. The latter deals with the adventures of a cynical spacefaring diplomat who constantly has to overcome the red-tape-infused failures of people with names like Ambassador Grossblunder. The Retief stories were greatly influenced by Laumer's earlier career in the United States Foreign Service. In an interview with Paul Walker of Luna Monthly, Laumer states "I had no shortage of iniquitous memories of the Foreign Service."
Four of his shorter works received Hugo or Nebula Award nominations (one of them, "In the Queue", received nominations for both) and his novel A Plague of Demons was nominated for the Nebula Award for Best Novel in 1966.
During the peak years of 1959–1971, Laumer was a prolific science fiction writer, with his novels tending to follow one of two patterns: fast-paced, straight adventures in time and space, with an emphasis on lone-wolf, latent superman protagonists, self-sacrifice and transcendence or, broad comedies, sometimes of the over-the-top variety.
In 1971, Laumer suffered a stroke while working on the novel The Ultimax Man. As a result, he was unable to write for a few years. As he explained in an interview with Charles Platt published in The Dream Makers (1987), he refused to accept the doctors' diagnosis. He came up with an alternative explanation and developed an alternative (and very painful) treatment program. Although he was unable to write in the early 1970s, he had a number of books which were in the pipeline at the time of the stroke published during that time.
In the mid-1970s, Laumer partially recovered from the stroke and resumed writing. However, the quality of his work suffered and his career declined (Piers Anthony, How Precious Was That While, 2002). In later years Laumer also reused scenarios and characters from his earlier works to create "new" books, which some critics felt was to their detriment:
Alas, Retief to the Rescue doesn't seem so much like a new Retief novel, but a kind of Cuisnart mélange of past books.
-- Somtow Sucharitkul (Washington Post, Mar 27, 1983. p. BW11)
His Bolo creations were popular enough that other authors have written standalone science-fiction novels about them.
Laumer was also a model airplane enthusiast, and published two dozen designs between 1956 and 1962 in the U.S. magazines Air Trails, Model Airplane News and Flying Models, as well as the British magazine Aero Modeler. He published one book on the subject, How to Design and Build Flying Models in 1960. His later designs were mostly gas-powered free flight planes, and had a whimsical charm with names to match, like the "Twin Lizzie" and the "Lulla-Bi". His designs are still being revisited, reinvented and built today.
Keith Laumer (aka J.K Laumer, J. Keith Laumer) is best known for his Bolo stories and his satirical Retief series. The former chronicles the evolution of juggernaut-sized tanks that eventually become self-aware through the constant improvement resulting from centuries of intermittent warfare against various alien races. The latter deals with the adventures of a cynical spacefaring diplomat who constantly has to overcome the red-tape-infused failures of people with names like Ambassador Grossblunder. The Retief stories were greatly influenced by Laumer's earlier career in the United States Foreign Service. In an interview with Paul Walker of Luna Monthly, Laumer states "I had no shortage of iniquitous memories of the Foreign Service."
Four of his shorter works received Hugo or Nebula Award nominations (one of them, "In the Queue", received nominations for both) and his novel A Plague of Demons was nominated for the Nebula Award for Best Novel in 1966.
During the peak years of 1959–1971, Laumer was a prolific science fiction writer, with his novels tending to follow one of two patterns: fast-paced, straight adventures in time and space, with an emphasis on lone-wolf, latent superman protagonists, self-sacrifice and transcendence or, broad comedies, sometimes of the over-the-top variety.
In 1971, Laumer suffered a stroke while working on the novel The Ultimax Man. As a result, he was unable to write for a few years. As he explained in an interview with Charles Platt published in The Dream Makers (1987), he refused to accept the doctors' diagnosis. He came up with an alternative explanation and developed an alternative (and very painful) treatment program. Although he was unable to write in the early 1970s, he had a number of books which were in the pipeline at the time of the stroke published during that time.
In the mid-1970s, Laumer partially recovered from the stroke and resumed writing. However, the quality of his work suffered and his career declined (Piers Anthony, How Precious Was That While, 2002). In later years Laumer also reused scenarios and characters from his earlier works to create "new" books, which some critics felt was to their detriment:
Alas, Retief to the Rescue doesn't seem so much like a new Retief novel, but a kind of Cuisnart mélange of past books.
-- Somtow Sucharitkul (Washington Post, Mar 27, 1983. p. BW11)
His Bolo creations were popular enough that other authors have written standalone science-fiction novels about them.
Laumer was also a model airplane enthusiast, and published two dozen designs between 1956 and 1962 in the U.S. magazines Air Trails, Model Airplane News and Flying Models, as well as the British magazine Aero Modeler. He published one book on the subject, How to Design and Build Flying Models in 1960. His later designs were mostly gas-powered free flight planes, and had a whimsical charm with names to match, like the "Twin Lizzie" and the "Lulla-Bi". His designs are still being revisited, reinvented and built today.
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
December 1, 2021
These are some of the best Retief stories. Written in the sixties they are a combination of James Bond, Space Opera, and satire of modern diplomacy. I first read these in the late seventies and early eighties but now that I have a better understanding of diplomacy I can appreciate more of the hi-jinx, the spineless acceptance of violations of law, the giving of undeserved foreign aid as bribery, and of course the sartorial excesses and vulgar ceremonies.
I put some, actually a lot of, of the sillier quotes in notes.
I think this was free so I guess someone collected the stories from now available magazines but there isn't a set of credits.
Thanks for making this available.
Laumer invented Bollo''s in his stories of the giant tanks controlled by AI's designed for nuclear battle fields and whose loyalty is completely reliable. They make a brief appearance in one story.
I put some, actually a lot of, of the sillier quotes in notes.
I think this was free so I guess someone collected the stories from now available magazines but there isn't a set of credits.
Thanks for making this available.
Laumer invented Bollo''s in his stories of the giant tanks controlled by AI's designed for nuclear battle fields and whose loyalty is completely reliable. They make a brief appearance in one story.
September 14, 2020
There are some funny characters I’ll remember and some interesting plot twists.
There’s a lack of description to the point where you get to the end of a story and you’re still not sure what anybody or anything looks like.
Quite a few of the stories end with creepy womanising, any female characters are 2D to say the least.
Almost all the stories end with Retief winning by punching someone in the face when they don’t expect it. This seems to work better on screen for James Bond, in a novel it’s less thrilling.
In a lot of the stories Retief immediately acquires a side kick who turns out to be lower class with a low IQ, it gets a bit uncomfortable to read.
Made it 3/4 in before the above became a bit much. Can’t imagine reading dozens of novels in this style.
There’s a lack of description to the point where you get to the end of a story and you’re still not sure what anybody or anything looks like.
Quite a few of the stories end with creepy womanising, any female characters are 2D to say the least.
Almost all the stories end with Retief winning by punching someone in the face when they don’t expect it. This seems to work better on screen for James Bond, in a novel it’s less thrilling.
In a lot of the stories Retief immediately acquires a side kick who turns out to be lower class with a low IQ, it gets a bit uncomfortable to read.
Made it 3/4 in before the above became a bit much. Can’t imagine reading dozens of novels in this style.
July 8, 2021
The Perfect Antidote for Politicians
Retief is to hopelessly, haplessly, pluripotentially correct bureaucrats as Draino is to hair plugs…always ready with a right uppercut when a gloved hand is expected. You’ll laugh (a lot), you’ll cry, but most of all, you’ll make a fist and scream, “Yes,” when a bureaucracy, in spite of its noblessed intentions, actually gets something done.
Retief is to hopelessly, haplessly, pluripotentially correct bureaucrats as Draino is to hair plugs…always ready with a right uppercut when a gloved hand is expected. You’ll laugh (a lot), you’ll cry, but most of all, you’ll make a fist and scream, “Yes,” when a bureaucracy, in spite of its noblessed intentions, actually gets something done.
October 8, 2025
This is a very enjoyable book satirizing, diplomacy and diplomats found by rules and conventions and endless paperwork. Retief always solves the problem by thinking outside the box and using intelligence instead of set rules to solve the problem. His personal background in the military and and diplomacy shines through.
August 16, 2020
Retief
Retief is my mind of guy. Keith Laumers rendition of these tales is wonderfully humorous. This is old school science fiction at its best. I originally read a lot of this in Worlds of If. So glad it has been collected here.
Retief is my mind of guy. Keith Laumers rendition of these tales is wonderfully humorous. This is old school science fiction at its best. I originally read a lot of this in Worlds of If. So glad it has been collected here.
September 25, 2020
Always enjoyed the Retief stories
The first story was a bit grim - it made me think of a blend of Mickey Spillane, Matt Helm, and James Bond. The rest were the light hearted spoofs I recall from decades ago. Fun reads.
The first story was a bit grim - it made me think of a blend of Mickey Spillane, Matt Helm, and James Bond. The rest were the light hearted spoofs I recall from decades ago. Fun reads.
March 17, 2021
Classic Keith Laumer
Just as I remembered: tongue in cheek space opera wrapped in a diplomat's cloak. Follow the adventures of Jaime Retief as he unravels diplomatic snafus across the galaxy.
Just as I remembered: tongue in cheek space opera wrapped in a diplomat's cloak. Follow the adventures of Jaime Retief as he unravels diplomatic snafus across the galaxy.
Read
June 13, 2021Best spoof of diplomatic relations ever
The backwards twists and turns and even the titles and names for the ambassatorial staff are part of the charm! As events play out showing the real way diplomacy is conducted ,and was conducted in the 60s and 70s real world U.S.A. style
The backwards twists and turns and even the titles and names for the ambassatorial staff are part of the charm! As events play out showing the real way diplomacy is conducted ,and was conducted in the 60s and 70s real world U.S.A. style
September 4, 2020
Great fun
The truth about diplomacy in a great and diverse universe of species. Will definitely keep you laughing. I hope it is not realistic.
The truth about diplomacy in a great and diverse universe of species. Will definitely keep you laughing. I hope it is not realistic.
May 20, 2021
Retief - SuperCynic' Hero
Jaime Retief is as close to a sci-fi idol as I have ever come. Strong, smart cynical rescuer of the downtrodden and incompetent with super panache.
Jaime Retief is as close to a sci-fi idol as I have ever come. Strong, smart cynical rescuer of the downtrodden and incompetent with super panache.
August 24, 2021
still an exciting read but perhaps a bit dated now in some of its social relations
more an 8 1/2 or even 9 out of 10 for me
more an 8 1/2 or even 9 out of 10 for me
November 2, 2021
Fun read
Good. I read it decades ago, now it rereading it, seems outdated. still, it's a worthwhile ,fun read. Great character.
Good. I read it decades ago, now it rereading it, seems outdated. still, it's a worthwhile ,fun read. Great character.
July 11, 2022
I read this a long-time ago and thought it might be dated but it wasn't. It felt odd though, until I realized that it's been decades since news features any significant coverage of diplomacy. It's all meetings by heads of state or military interventions.
To understand my view of both science fiction and Goodreads, see my review of "Dark Horse", a good story by Diener or my review of Powers of the Earth (a ridiculous book) and the nasty response comments of a Claes Rees, Jr/cgr710 (a self-identified NeoNazi and general racist). If not interested, there are other interesting reviews. Thank you.
GLORY TO UKRAINE !!!
If you can or want to imagine the seedy underbelly of interstellar diplomacy between rival powers, it will make you laugh. It's darker than I remembered but still made me chuckle.
The writer with a few phrases and well drawn scenes creates a solid background universe. The characters are appropriate to their place and act accordingly. This is an excellent example of good world building. Without world building there is no story. Without world building there is no context within which to place the characters. If forced to imagine the entire background universe, I may as well imagine the characters, their previous lives and their stories. That done, I have written my own book.
That is not an understanding that you will see displayed by low end writers nor discover in the low effort, minimal effort or no effort print that seems to comprise almost all of current print science fiction. The streaming services provide stories as good and as well written as the Retief series and even when they fail, they have made the honest attempt. YouTube is the home of my reader's community. Besides bookish things and other channels, it introduced me to the educational video sites. Currently I watch Curiosity Stream/Nebula and at a cost of $15 USD for a yearly subscription, it is well worth a look. Some of my favorite YouTube channels are.
Overly Sarcastic Productions, Novara Media, Munecat, Ship Happens, Tara Mooknee, Owen Jones, Some More News, Ben and Emily, Driftwood Folk, Cruising Alba, Chugging Along, Boat Time, Sabine Hossenfelder, Timeline, Kings and Generals, The Great War, Between the Wars, Tibees, Tulia, Katie Halper, France 24, Karolina Zebrowska, Jill Bearup, Northern Narrowboaters, Sort of Interesting, Second Thought, Camper Vibe, Adult Wednesday Addams, Sarah Z, Swell Entertainment, The Juice Media, Crecganford, What Vivi did next, Dr Becky, The Armchair Historian, Traveling K, With Olivia, Thirdworld Booknerd, Lady of the Library, Emmie, Hello Future Me. Odyssey, Jacobin, History Valley, 2Cellos, Books with Chloe, Merphy Napier, Tom Nicholas, Autumn's Boutique, Cari can Read, UA Courage, Told in Stone, Joe Scott, Neringa Rekaslute, Lilly's expat life, A Clockwork Reader, Between the Lines, Diane Callahan Quotidian Writer, Epimetheus, Bovington Tank Museum, Violet Orlandi, Cruising Crafts, Prime of Midlife, Dakota Warren, Double Down News, Alice Cappelle, Jessica Gagnon, Crux, Wion, DUST, Casual Navigation, The History Guy, BrandonF, Anthropology Club, Steampunk, Cone of Arc, Task and Purpose, Denys Davydov, Perun, Narrowboat Chef, Tiny Wee Boat, The Templin Institute, Renegade Cut, Chris Animations, Factnomenal, Ask a Mortician, Filaxim Historia, Eckharts Ladder, Eleanor Motion, Pentatonix, History in the Dark, May Moon Narrowboat, Storyworldling, Book Odyssey, Lady knight the Brave, Quinn's Ideas, Three Arrows.
I wish you a glorious morning, an exciting afternoon, a fine evening and a pleasant night.
To truly see the person, it is necessary to know them in their time and in their place.
a Bene Gesserit admonition
To understand my view of both science fiction and Goodreads, see my review of "Dark Horse", a good story by Diener or my review of Powers of the Earth (a ridiculous book) and the nasty response comments of a Claes Rees, Jr/cgr710 (a self-identified NeoNazi and general racist). If not interested, there are other interesting reviews. Thank you.
GLORY TO UKRAINE !!!
If you can or want to imagine the seedy underbelly of interstellar diplomacy between rival powers, it will make you laugh. It's darker than I remembered but still made me chuckle.
The writer with a few phrases and well drawn scenes creates a solid background universe. The characters are appropriate to their place and act accordingly. This is an excellent example of good world building. Without world building there is no story. Without world building there is no context within which to place the characters. If forced to imagine the entire background universe, I may as well imagine the characters, their previous lives and their stories. That done, I have written my own book.
That is not an understanding that you will see displayed by low end writers nor discover in the low effort, minimal effort or no effort print that seems to comprise almost all of current print science fiction. The streaming services provide stories as good and as well written as the Retief series and even when they fail, they have made the honest attempt. YouTube is the home of my reader's community. Besides bookish things and other channels, it introduced me to the educational video sites. Currently I watch Curiosity Stream/Nebula and at a cost of $15 USD for a yearly subscription, it is well worth a look. Some of my favorite YouTube channels are.
Overly Sarcastic Productions, Novara Media, Munecat, Ship Happens, Tara Mooknee, Owen Jones, Some More News, Ben and Emily, Driftwood Folk, Cruising Alba, Chugging Along, Boat Time, Sabine Hossenfelder, Timeline, Kings and Generals, The Great War, Between the Wars, Tibees, Tulia, Katie Halper, France 24, Karolina Zebrowska, Jill Bearup, Northern Narrowboaters, Sort of Interesting, Second Thought, Camper Vibe, Adult Wednesday Addams, Sarah Z, Swell Entertainment, The Juice Media, Crecganford, What Vivi did next, Dr Becky, The Armchair Historian, Traveling K, With Olivia, Thirdworld Booknerd, Lady of the Library, Emmie, Hello Future Me. Odyssey, Jacobin, History Valley, 2Cellos, Books with Chloe, Merphy Napier, Tom Nicholas, Autumn's Boutique, Cari can Read, UA Courage, Told in Stone, Joe Scott, Neringa Rekaslute, Lilly's expat life, A Clockwork Reader, Between the Lines, Diane Callahan Quotidian Writer, Epimetheus, Bovington Tank Museum, Violet Orlandi, Cruising Crafts, Prime of Midlife, Dakota Warren, Double Down News, Alice Cappelle, Jessica Gagnon, Crux, Wion, DUST, Casual Navigation, The History Guy, BrandonF, Anthropology Club, Steampunk, Cone of Arc, Task and Purpose, Denys Davydov, Perun, Narrowboat Chef, Tiny Wee Boat, The Templin Institute, Renegade Cut, Chris Animations, Factnomenal, Ask a Mortician, Filaxim Historia, Eckharts Ladder, Eleanor Motion, Pentatonix, History in the Dark, May Moon Narrowboat, Storyworldling, Book Odyssey, Lady knight the Brave, Quinn's Ideas, Three Arrows.
I wish you a glorious morning, an exciting afternoon, a fine evening and a pleasant night.
To truly see the person, it is necessary to know them in their time and in their place.
a Bene Gesserit admonition
December 11, 2020
I never read "Worlds of If" magazine where these stories were first printed or heard of the main character Jaime Retief, but I'm very glad I did now.
This collection of very fun and exciting stories comes with a fresh nostalgic feel evident even before opening the book by looking at the book cover. They (the stories) reminded me very much of the golden era of fist-a-cuff good guys with the heavy Sci-fi themes that I enjoyed growing up.
Mr Laumer does a wonderful job of alien world building. His characters are well rounded, flushed out nicely and just over the edge of "over the top."
The stories all move at a great pace (my favorite story is The Madman From Earth) filled with action and humor. The reading is easy, interesting and quite clever to say the least. Strong plot lines in each of the stories make for seriously enjoyable reading.
All in all this is a great collection of fun stories that will provide you with hours of entertaining reading.
This collection of very fun and exciting stories comes with a fresh nostalgic feel evident even before opening the book by looking at the book cover. They (the stories) reminded me very much of the golden era of fist-a-cuff good guys with the heavy Sci-fi themes that I enjoyed growing up.
Mr Laumer does a wonderful job of alien world building. His characters are well rounded, flushed out nicely and just over the edge of "over the top."
The stories all move at a great pace (my favorite story is The Madman From Earth) filled with action and humor. The reading is easy, interesting and quite clever to say the least. Strong plot lines in each of the stories make for seriously enjoyable reading.
All in all this is a great collection of fun stories that will provide you with hours of entertaining reading.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews