"I Hate Your Time Machine": A fiction-fueled guide to some of the worst tropes of Fantasy & Science Fiction

by Jeff Mach

Take a space-pirate, inspired by a long-ago Dark Lord. Take a long period of quarantine within the tiny confines of a stolen starship. Now take 42 busted, broken, or overbearing tropes of Fantasy and Science Fiction. One by one, the Dark Lord twists each into a strange shape and uses it to tell a new story--many of them disgracefully funny, some rather dark, and none of them suitable for vulnerable minds such as YOURS. So you should stay away from this book--far, far away--lest the words break the confines of their bibliographic prison and come forth to vent their endless rage and their even-more-endless snark. Jeff Mach, author of the bestselling "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN", brings you 250 pages of tight, interesting, usually satirical, often quite twisted stories, to light a fire in your belly like whiskey, and light a whiskey on fire, like an idiot who brought the wrong tools to a pub brawl. You can check out Jeff's work, updated 5-7 times a week, at his website, Jeff Mach Writes; you can also read it on his Amazon page. Do what you like; you have free will... ....probably.

252 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 2, 2020

About the author

Jeff writes a lot of peculiar, often villainous fantasy and science fiction. He speaks about himself in the third person rather a lot. He's mostly a satirist in both his novels and his short work. He writes more F&SF poetry than a healthy person ought. He knows a lot about pickup lines for Dwarves, Hobbits, Elves, and others.

Reviews

[Jeff Mach · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think that I couldn't have written this book better if I'd done it myself, but then I realized I was lying, and I used my time machine to go back in time and write it, which makes this review a little self-referential, but at least it's true.

[Abantika(hiltonjenkin) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I Hate Your Time Machine by Jeff Mach is a collection of 42 micro stories that takes a dig at the different cliches of fantasy and science fiction, both individually and as a whole. And oh boy what a ride reading this book has been!!! My mind is completely blown. The narrative is so different than anything I've ever read but in a TOTALLY AWESOME WAY. The stories are an unique mix of satire, (dark) humour and wit. I loved his take on the tropes and never had a dull moment while reading this book. The writing is engaging and full of snarky and sarcastic comments. They keep you extremely entertained. One of my most enjoyed stories was "10 Reasons Space Wizards Are Impossible". I'll recommend everyone to pick a copy of this!

[Aurora · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dragons and Dark Lords, Gods and Mythical Beings, Mages and Monsters - there's not much that doesn't catch Jeff Mach's attention or invoke his commentary in this irreverent, sardonic and often laugh out loud funny look at the world and denizens of the worlds of Science Fiction and Fantasy. As a long time fan, I loved this book. There were times when I could hear Mach giggling (maniacally) as he tapped away at his keyboard, creating short vignettes to illustrate the points in his discussions of the character and plot types so common in modern SF&F.
Kudos to narrator Christopher Harbour who managed to capture that light-hearted, playful tone while maintaining a serious and professional narration style. I'm sure there must have been a few retakes when a snort or a chuckle snuck out unbidden, but the narration perfectly matched the subject matter and made a well written and thoroughly enjoyable book an even better audio experience.

[Katalina Stone · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting and unique

This book was thought provoking. Jeff has gathered a list of fantasy/ sci-fi cliches over used in the genres and he's added his own spin. It offers any fantasy/ sci-fi writer or reader a unique view of these tropes and all while being wildly entertaining. You'd do well to avoid these tropes unless of course you're the Dark Lord!

[Rashell Lashbrook · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious!

Not my typical read, but I needed something light. I laughed the entire way through! “I Hate Your Time Machine” is witty and fun. I highly recommend this book if you need something to take your mind off all the drama in this world...

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

Original. I found most of this rxcellent

Original takes on well known tropes.
I liked most of these stories a lot, tough I found one or two I didn't really get.
Worth the time, definitely worth it.
(I'll now go read more of the Author's books.

[Shanna Tidwell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great narration by Christopher Harbour .
Many stories intertwine and come together in a unique and entertaining way.